Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are Self-Employed
Transcript
- Lucas: If you are self-employed, freelance, or running your own business, you probably know the feeling: you're making all the decisions, but you don't have anyone to bounce them off. No boss, no senior colleague, no built-in mentor. Luna: And it's a real gap. I've talked to solo professionals who say they feel like they're flying blind, especially on big strategic calls. Lucas: Exactly. And here's a quick honest thing — we keep this show ad-free, and it's funded directly by listeners. A handful of people chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's literally what makes episodes like this possible. So if you've gotten value from the show, that's a simple way to keep it going. Luna: Yeah, it's a small gesture that adds up. And it means we don't have to sell ad slots. Lucas: Right. So back to the topic — today we're looking at how to find a mentor when you don't have a company structure around you. And I want to start with a concrete example. Luna: Let's hear it. Lucas: A friend of mine, she's a freelance graphic designer in Portland. She'd been working solo for about three years, and she hit a ceiling on the kind of projects she could land. She knew she needed guidance on pricing, on client management, on how to move into brand strategy. But she didn't know a single senior designer she could ask. Luna: That's a classic problem. Where do you even start? Lucas: She started with her professional association. She joined AIGA, the design association, and found their local mentorship program. They matched her with a senior creative director at a mid-size agency. That mentor gave her specific feedback on her portfolio and helped her reframe her services as strategy, not just execution. Luna: So she used an industry body as a matchmaker. That's smart. Most trades have something similar — the Freelancers Union, the National Association of Realtors, the Graphic Artists Guild. Lucas: Exactly. And the beauty is, these programs already have a structure. They pair you with someone who understands the specific economics of your field. It's not generic corporate mentorship. Luna: What about people whose field doesn't have a strong association? Or if the local chapter isn't active? Lucas: That's where the second strategy comes in: peer mentors in adjacent fields. My designer friend also joined a small group of four solo professionals — a writer, a photographer, a web developer, and her. They meet every two weeks, share challenges, and give each other honest feedback. Luna: So it's not a senior mentor, it's a peer group. But that can be just as valuable. Lucas: On some things, more valuable. Because the writer might have better tips on client contracts. The photographer might know how to handle scope creep. They're all in similar boats, but their specific expertise differs. Luna: And you're building a network, not just a single relationship. Lucas: Right. And the third strategy — this is the one that's a little harder but can pay off the most — is approaching someone you admire directly and offering a concrete value exchange. Luna: What do you mean by value exchange? Because a lot of freelancers don't have a budget for paying a mentor. Lucas: Right. So you don't lead with money. You lead with something you can do for them. Maybe you offer to help with a project they're stuck on, or you share your skills in exchange for theirs. A bookkeeper I know offered to clean up a marketing consultant's finances in return for quarterly strategy sessions. That's a skill swap. Luna: I like that. It makes the relationship reciprocal from the start, which is more sustainable. Lucas: Exactly. And it's more respectful. You're not asking for charity, you're proposing a partnership. The consultant got better books, the bookkeeper got better marketing advice. Both grew. Luna: So we've got three strategies: industry association programs, peer mastermind groups, and direct skill-swap mentorships. Are there any common pitfalls for self-employed people? Lucas: The biggest one is isolation. When you're solo, it's easy to feel like you're the only one facing a problem. So you either avoid asking for help, or you ask too late, when you're already in crisis mode. Luna: I've done that. I waited until I was completely overwhelmed before reaching out. It's harder to get good advice when you're panicking. Lucas: Yeah. So the advice is to build these relationships before you need them. Join that association now. Start that mastermind group now. Make the ask for a skill swap when you're in a calm place. Luna: And be specific about what you're looking for. Don't say 'I need a mentor.' Say 'I need someone to review my pricing strategy for a new service line I'm launching.' Lucas: That's a huge point. Vague asks get vague responses. Specific asks — 'Could you spend 30 minutes looking at my pricing model?' — are much easier for someone to say yes to. Luna: And if they say no? Or they're too busy? Lucas: Then you ask someone else. But also, you can ask for a smaller thing. 'Can you just point me to one resource?' That often opens a door. And if they see you follow through, they might offer more time later. Luna: That's a good point. The relationship can build over time. It doesn't have to be a formal mentorship from day one. Lucas: Exactly. And for self-employed people especially, the mentor relationship often looks different. It might be a monthly 30-minute call. It might be an email exchange. It might be a shared Slack channel with two other freelancers. Luna: The key is consistency. Even a little bit of regular input can keep you from drifting off course. Lucas: Yeah. My designer friend now has a mix of all three — her AIGA mentor, her peer group, and a skill swap with a copywriter. She says she's more confident, she's charging higher rates, and she's landing bigger projects. Luna: That's the goal. So if someone listening is self-employed and feeling stuck, the action item is: pick one of these three strategies and do it this week. Lucas: Join one association, or reach out to two peers about a mastermind, or send one email proposing a skill swap. That's it. One small step. Luna: And I'd add: don't overthink the ask. Most people are flattered to be asked for their expertise. They want to help. Lucas: Right. And if you're the one being asked, say yes when you can. That's how the network grows. Luna: Alright, I think that's a solid episode. For anyone self-employed, go find your mentor — or build your group. Lucas: And if you found this helpful, consider supporting the show at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It keeps us ad-free and focused on topics like this. Luna: Yeah. And we'll be back next time with more career advice.