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[ENG] Masterpieces #04: Longest Pro Game Ever · Start the game already!

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  Today I'm bringing you a story about a match that honestly
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  deserves its own entry in the Guinness World Records.
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  We are talking about what is likely the longest Age of
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  Empires two match ever played in the High E low bracket.
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  The length of this game isn't measured in minutes or even
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  hours, it's measured in days. And the prize?
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  Well, you might think they were playing for a massive trophy, a
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  cash prize or eternal glory. But no, to spur on two young
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  ambitious men, you don't need a stadium.
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  All they needed was a massive helping of spite, a stable
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  Internet connection, and an unbelievable amount of stamina.
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  Though technically there was something on the line since it
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  was a rank match, the winner stood to gain exactly 12 ELO
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  points. The two stubborn souls who got
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  us into this mess were Rubenstock and Andre.
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  Rubenstock is a veteran, a legend in the scene often called
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  the Finnish Licks. He's a specialist in douching,
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  which is TC dropping and basically every aggressive,
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  chaotic and soul crushing strategy that you can imagine.
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  Andre back in 2022 was an up and coming player, quickly climbing
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  into the 2K ELO range. He was working hard to break
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  into the top tier tournaments, a goal that ironically this match
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  might have actually hindered. We can reconstruct this game
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  like an archaeological find because someone actually took
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  the time to archive the whole thing on a dedicated website.
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  And that website is still up today.
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  And I've put the link to that site into the show notes of this
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  episode. But you know what?
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  Stick with me, because I'm going to tell you the whole saga right
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  here. And it begins in a way that you
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  might expect when you know, Rubenstock is playing.
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  He got the barbers, Andre is the Vikings, the map is Acropolis.
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  But honestly the map doesn't even matter, the civilizations
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  however do. See when Rubenstock gets Berbers
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  he will rushes. And remember this was back
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  before the villager rush nerve that the Berbers have gotten.
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  First Rubenstock walled in Andre's berries.
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  Then came the follow up a tower rush.
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  Of course, those towers were still standing in the Castle
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  Age, only now they were joined by castles.
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  Despite the chaos, Andre managed to build a solid economy behind
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  the madness. He played Knights and crossbows,
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  raiding Rubenstock relentlessly and defending like a lion.
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  By the Imperial Age, it's a bloodbath.
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  Berserks versus camel Archers are on the field.
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  Andre eventually manages to push Rubenstock off his half of the
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  map. The rates are constant, but
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  slowly the game begins to stabilize.
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  And by stabilize, I actually mean it begins to drag.
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  After one hour and 40 minutes of game time, the gold starts to
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  run out. After 2 1/2 hours, they both
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  chopped down the very last tree. It was an entertaining match in
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  the beginning, but for the past hour it got slower and slower
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  and it was kind of obvious that neither player knew how to
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  finish off his opponent. Now, I have to admit that this
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  whole thing is already bizarre, going down to the very last
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  tree, but what happens next actually earns my genuine, if
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  slightly concerned, admiration. It tells you everything you need
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  to know about how Rubenstock's brain works.
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  We're entering the next part of the game, and I call it the War
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  of petty Theft. If I were playing a game and the
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  map was empty, no gold and no wood available, I'd probably try
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  a final Hail Mary attack to take the relics, buy some wood, and
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  reseed my farms one last time. Well, actually, who am I
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  kidding, I would have resigned a long time ago and started
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  another game, but you know what I mean.
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  But Speaking of relics, Andre had four of them.
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  Rubenstock only won. However, this is important
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  because that meant that both players had a steady, even the
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  Rubenstock a very slow gold income.
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  Now, where I see an empty map, Rubenstock obviously sees
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  opportunity. He looks at Andre's farms and
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  sees unclaimed resources. He rounds up his bravest
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  villagers, runs across the map and starts stealing Andre's
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  farms. He wasn't even doing it
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  together. Food.
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  Andre wouldn't let him stay there long enough for that.
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  He did it just so Andre couldn't use them.
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  It's like 2 farmers in a drought creeping out at night to steal
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  each other's water. Pure unadulterated pettiness.
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  As the arrows tick by, both players become deathly afraid of
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  losing units. Rubenstock has about 100 more
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  units than Andre, but Andre makes the critical mistake of
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  spending his remaining paper thin resources on villagers who
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  have nothing left to gather. Around the three hour and 40
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  minute mark, Rubenstock seizes an opening.
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  Andre launches a major attack and Rubenstock counters by
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  sending a massive wave of facades to demolish Andre's
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  monastery. A second group of facades wipes
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  out Andre's monks. Now Rubenstock should have a
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  massive advantage, right? He's got one relic, Andre has
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  none and no way to re Garrison his relics.
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  Except he just gave Andre the same idea.
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  So he went on to destroy Rubenstock's relics and he had
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  no way of re garrisoning that relic into a monastery.
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  So by the four hour mark, both players are standing there with
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  0 gold income and no way to get any future gold income.
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  So what do you do? How do you win a game like this?
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  The realization sinks in for both of them.
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  Neither can actually defeat the other as long as they are paying
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  attention. Which means we need a new
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  strategy, and it emerges quite soon.
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  It's no longer about micro and macro.
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  It's about who can stay awake longer, who has more time to
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  waste than his opponent. So the next stage of this game
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  begins, and it's an unconventional one.
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  It's the sleep stage. Both players refuse to give up,
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  but neither of them can come up with a plan to win.
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  While Rubenstock goes AFK after about 6 hours, Andre tries to
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  capitalize. He destroys a few buildings and
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  tries to siege Rubenstock's castle.
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  But Rubenstock has tucked all his units inside and with
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  Ballistics research, Andre can't even get close.
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  So let me get this entirely clear.
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  This is a weird stalemate because it is not an equal
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  stalemate. Rubenstock has all his units
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  garrisoned inside his buildings and he's got Ballistics, but
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  he's got no murder holes. So if for some reason Andre
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  would catch Rubenstock off guard while he didn't Garrison inside
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  his TC and his castle, and he would close in on the buildings,
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  he could actually batter them down because no murder holes.
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  On the other hand, Andre is standing with a few units and
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  he's got a castle and he does have murder holes, but no
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  Ballistics. So there is a strategy here.
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  If Andre is away from keyboard and Rubenstock manages to kite
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  the aero fire from the castle with a runner, he can actually
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  go underneath the castle and batter down the castle because
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  that castle would be focused on the runner and even despite
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  having murder holes, he would not focus the units underneath
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  the castle. But the moment Andre gets back,
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  he could manually retarget the unit and he would kill off the
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  Rubenstock's unit. So that would be very risky, A
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  risky play to do. Which leaves us at this
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  stalemate where usually the player who would not have enough
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  attention or would be away in the wrong moment might lose the
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  game. And so they wait.
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  They wait for the other person to go to bed.
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  At 33 hours of in game time, Rubenstock manages to destroy
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  one of Andrea's castles while Andrea is asleep.
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  He used his villagers to siege the building while a single
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  hussar ran circles to distract the castle fire.
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  Now there's only one castle left.
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  Rubenstock moves in for the kill and if he would get that castle
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  he would suddenly win the game. But Andre wakes up just in time.
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  He fends off the attack. Rubenstock's only reaction in
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  the chat. Back to sleep.
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  See you tomorrow. 14 in game hours later, with literally
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  nothing happening in between. Rubenstock tries again, but
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  Andre is there. 10 hours after that, another attempt by
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  Rubenstock, but same result. In the meantime, Rubenstock
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  actually went out on a date. I mean, why not?
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  The game is still running. There's absolutely nothing
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  Andrea can do to win the game. He needs Rubenstock to slip up,
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  and that's unlikely while he's away.
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  We are getting into the late game of this match, and
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  Rubenstock eventually builds the ultimate AFK defense.
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  His castle is placed right next to a Town Center so the two
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  buildings cover each other's blind spots.
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  He also uses his final scraps of wood to build Palisades around
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  the side not covered by the TC of his castle because he doesn't
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  have murder holes. So there was literally nothing
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  that Andre could do to take down his buildings and or to even
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  kill a unit because they are all garrisoned.
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  It is a perfect stalemate. Rubenstock cannot lose.
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  Andre cannot win. Fast forward another 15 in game
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  hours. We are at hour 75.
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  If you're wondering about the military, Andre has exactly 3
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  units. Rubenstock has 16.
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  Not that it really matters though.
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  Rubenstock is the only one who can safely leave his base.
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  Andre however, has no win condition left, so he of course
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  refuses to leave his castle because the moment he does and
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  Rubenstock is awake, he would instantly lose the game.
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  Then the thing everyone feared finally happened, Andre's only
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  remaining win condition actually struck, and that is a bit sad.
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  At exactly 98 hours, 14 minutes and 53 seconds in game time, the
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  match ended not with Agg, not with a heroic charge, but
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  because Rubenstock disconnected. Andre's long game paid off by
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  sheer technicality. He won the 12th ELO, and the
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  match went down in history as the longest 2K plus ranked game
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  ever played. Funnily enough, this was great
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  for both of them. The entire Age of Empires world
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  was watching the game. Press reported on it
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  internationally. Both players hit record
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  viewership numbers while they weren't even at their desks.
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  The Twitch chat was just hanging out in their rooms and
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  entertaining themselves for days.
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  Now if you hate that anti climactic ending, I have a
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  little treat for you. There was an actual sequel.
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  The two players restored the match to settle it properly
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  after 100 hours of in game time, which by the way, translates to
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  60 hours of real time spanning from Wednesday to Friday.
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  They decided to let the winner be determined by a good old
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  fashioned fist fight, villager versus villager.
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  And now you're definitely wondering how that went down.
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  And I'm not going to tell you. I'm actually let you hear about
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  that from the perspective of Rubenstock himself.
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  We could never settle this down. 14 All right, there we go, guys.
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  Here we go. Here we go.
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  I am saying I never pitched this.
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  Excited in a video game. Oh, can you say I think I got
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  it? I think I got it.
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  I think I got it. We got it.
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  Gigi. Gigi, I was saying was it we won
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  the game, but he got the points. But that doesn't matter.
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  Points don't matter here.