Latest / Other Peoples Parenting / Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - The Original Parenting Debate That Broke The Internet (Featuring Sandy Cho)

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Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - The Original Parenting Debate That Broke The Internet (Featuring Sandy Cho) · Other Peoples Parenting

• 0:00
  Welcome
• 0:00
  back
• 0:01
  to
• 0:01
  an
• 0:01
  episode
• 0:02
  of
• 0:02
  Other
• 0:02
  People's
• 0:03
  Parenting,
• 0:03
  where
• 0:04
  we
• 0:04
  read
• 0:05
  parenting
• 0:05
  books
• 0:05
  and
• 0:05
  review
• 0:06
  them
• 0:06
  for
• 0:06
  you.
• 0:07
  I'm
• 0:07
  Skylar
• 0:07
  Hurwitz,
• 0:08
  amateur
• 0:08
  parent,
• 0:09
  and
• 0:09
  this
• 0:09
  is
• 0:09
  my
• 0:09
  mom,
• 0:09
  Karen
• 0:10
  Quinn,
• 0:10
  New
• 0:11
  York
• 0:11
  Times
• 0:11
  best
• 0:11
  selling
• 0:12
  author
• 0:12
  and
• 0:13
  founder
• 0:13
  of
• 0:13
  Habit
• 0:14
  Coach
• 0:14
  and
• 0:14
  Testing
• 0:14
  Mom.
• 0:15
  Hello,
• 0:15
  mom.
• 0:16
  Hi,
• 0:16
  Skylar.
• 0:17
  How
• 0:17
  are
• 0:17
  you?
• 0:18
  I'm
• 0:18
  good.
• 0:19
  I
• 0:19
  love
• 0:19
  your
• 0:19
  jacket.
• 0:20
  Well,
• 0:20
  thank
• 0:21
  you.
• 0:21
  Thank
• 0:21
  you.
• 0:21
  I
• 0:21
  got
• 0:22
  dressed
• 0:22
  up
• 0:22
  today
• 0:23
  because.
• 0:24
  I
• 0:24
  don't
• 0:24
  know,
• 0:24
  I
• 0:24
  just
• 0:25
  wanted
• 0:25
  to
• 0:25
  brighten
• 0:25
  your
• 0:25
  day
• 0:26
  with
• 0:26
  some
• 0:26
  flowers.
• 0:27
  Well,
• 0:27
  thank
• 0:27
  you.
• 0:27
  We
• 0:27
  also.
• 0:28
  This
• 0:28
  is
• 0:28
  a
• 0:28
  very
• 0:28
  special
• 0:29
  day.
• 0:29
  This
• 0:29
  is
• 0:29
  actually
• 0:30
  the
• 0:30
  first
• 0:30
  episode.
• 0:31
  We're
• 0:31
  gonna
• 0:31
  have
• 0:31
  a
• 0:31
  gu.
• 0:33
  So
• 0:33
  brace
• 0:33
  yourselves.
• 0:34
  I
• 0:34
  am
• 0:35
  so
• 0:35
  excited
• 0:35
  that
• 0:36
  we're
• 0:36
  having
• 0:36
  a
• 0:36
  guest.
• 0:37
  This
• 0:37
  is.
• 0:37
  This
• 0:37
  is
• 0:38
  really
• 0:38
  going
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  be
• 0:38
  a
• 0:38
  first
• 0:39
  for
• 0:39
  us.
• 0:39
  And
• 0:40
  I
• 0:40
  didn't
• 0:40
  pre
• 0:40
  interview
• 0:41
  her.
• 0:41
  I
• 0:41
  probably
• 0:42
  should
• 0:42
  have.
• 0:42
  Now
• 0:43
  I'm
• 0:43
  thinking,
• 0:43
  as
• 0:43
  she's
• 0:44
  sitting
• 0:44
  here,
• 0:44
  I'm
• 0:44
  thinking,
• 0:45
  yeah,
• 0:45
  we
• 0:45
  should
• 0:45
  have
• 0:45
  had.
• 0:46
  FYI,
• 0:46
  she's
• 0:46
  sitting
• 0:47
  here
• 0:49
  because
• 0:49
  we
• 0:50
  wanted
• 0:50
  her
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  see
• 0:51
  whatever
• 0:51
  we
• 0:51
  said
• 0:51
  so
• 0:52
  she
• 0:52
  could
• 0:53
  react
• 0:53
  to
• 0:53
  it.
• 0:53
  We'll
• 0:54
  tell
• 0:54
  you
• 0:54
  more
• 0:55
  when
• 0:55
  we
• 0:55
  bring
• 0:55
  Sandy
• 0:56
  on
• 0:56
  right
• 0:56
  now.
• 0:56
  She's
• 0:57
  a
• 0:57
  secret.
• 0:57
  Teen,
• 0:57
  you
• 0:57
  just
• 0:58
  blew
• 0:58
  up
• 0:58
  the
• 0:59
  spot.
• 0:59
  Oh,
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  did?
• 1:00
  It's
• 1:01
  okay.
• 1:01
  Her
• 1:01
  name
• 1:01
  is
• 1:01
  Sandy.
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  don't
• 1:04
  know
• 1:04
  how
• 1:04
  to
• 1:04
  do
• 1:04
  this,
• 1:05
  you
• 1:05
  guys.
• 1:05
  It's
• 1:05
  okay.
• 1:05
  My
• 1:06
  mom's
• 1:06
  doxing
• 1:06
  people
• 1:06
  left
• 1:07
  and
• 1:07
  right.
• 1:07
  Like,
• 1:08
  I
• 1:08
  just.
• 1:08
  I
• 1:09
  do.
• 1:09
  I'm.
• 1:10
  I
• 1:10
  didn't
• 1:10
  even
• 1:10
  know
• 1:10
  what
• 1:10
  doxxing
• 1:11
  meant
• 1:11
  until
• 1:11
  I
• 1:12
  started
• 1:12
  doing
• 1:12
  it.
• 1:12
  Yeah,
• 1:13
  doxing.
• 1:14
  Why
• 1:14
  do
• 1:14
  they
• 1:14
  even
• 1:14
  call
• 1:15
  it
• 1:15
  that?
• 1:15
  I
• 1:15
  think
• 1:15
  it's
• 1:16
  because,
• 1:16
  like,
• 1:16
  you're
• 1:16
  giving
• 1:17
  everybody's
• 1:17
  personal
• 1:18
  documentations
• 1:18
  and.
• 1:19
  And
• 1:20
  information.
• 1:21
  Oh,
• 1:21
  okay.
• 1:22
  These
• 1:22
  are
• 1:22
  my
• 1:23
  docs.
• 1:23
  These
• 1:23
  are
• 1:24
  my
• 1:24
  docs.
• 1:24
  Now
• 1:24
  I
• 1:25
  see.
• 1:25
  Okay.
• 1:25
  Well,
• 1:26
  I'm
• 1:26
  sorry.
• 1:26
  I
• 1:26
  do
• 1:26
  accidentally
• 1:27
  dox
• 1:27
  people
• 1:28
  a
• 1:28
  lot.
• 1:28
  A
• 1:29
  lot,
• 1:29
  a
• 1:29
  lot.
• 1:29
  Like,
• 1:30
  every
• 1:30
  episode
• 1:31
  by
• 1:31
  accident.
• 1:32
  It's
• 1:32
  never
• 1:32
  on
• 1:33
  purpose.
• 1:33
  And
• 1:34
  then
• 1:34
  I
• 1:34
  have
• 1:34
  to
• 1:34
  call
• 1:34
  people
• 1:35
  and
• 1:35
  ask
• 1:35
  them,
• 1:35
  is
• 1:36
  it
• 1:36
  okay
• 1:36
  if
• 1:36
  I
• 1:36
  say
• 1:36
  this
• 1:37
  about
• 1:37
  you?
• 1:37
  Yeah.
• 1:38
  And
• 1:38
  they
• 1:38
  say,
• 1:38
  I
• 1:38
  mean,
• 1:39
  we
• 1:39
  can
• 1:39
  bleep
• 1:40
  things
• 1:40
  out
• 1:40
  if
• 1:40
  the
• 1:40
  legal
• 1:41
  department
• 1:41
  says
• 1:41
  that
• 1:42
  we
• 1:42
  have
• 1:42
  to.
• 1:42
  But
• 1:43
  I'm
• 1:43
  the
• 1:43
  legal
• 1:43
  department.
• 1:44
  I
• 1:44
  know.
• 1:44
  So
• 1:44
  if
• 1:44
  Teen
• 1:45
  thinks
• 1:45
  that
• 1:45
  we
• 1:45
  have
• 1:45
  to,
• 1:46
  then
• 1:46
  I
• 1:46
  will.
• 1:46
  Then
• 1:47
  I
• 1:47
  will.
• 1:47
  Little
• 1:48
  known
• 1:48
  fact,
• 1:48
  Teen
• 1:49
  is
• 1:49
  a
• 1:49
  lawyer.
• 1:50
  I
• 1:50
  am?
• 1:51
  That's
• 1:51
  right.
• 1:51
  How
• 1:51
  many
• 1:52
  days
• 1:52
  in
• 1:52
  court
• 1:52
  have
• 1:53
  you
• 1:53
  had?
• 1:54
  None.
• 1:54
  I
• 1:54
  never
• 1:54
  went
• 1:55
  to
• 1:55
  court.
• 1:56
  I
• 1:56
  never
• 1:56
  went
• 1:56
  to
• 1:57
  court.
• 1:57
  No.
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  didn't
• 1:59
  do
• 1:59
  any
• 1:59
  of
• 1:59
  that
• 1:59
  kind
• 1:59
  of
• 2:00
  law.
• 2:00
  I
• 2:00
  was
• 2:00
  a
• 2:00
  securities
• 2:01
  lawyer.
• 2:01
  What
• 2:02
  does
• 2:02
  that
• 2:03
  mean?
• 2:03
  You
• 2:04
  know,
• 2:04
  stocks
• 2:05
  and
• 2:05
  bonds
• 2:05
  and.
• 2:06
  Oh,
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  was
• 2:06
  like.
• 2:06
  You
• 2:07
  were
• 2:07
  a
• 2:07
  security
• 2:07
  lawyer?
• 2:08
  Like,
• 2:08
  you
• 2:08
  thought
• 2:09
  maybe
• 2:09
  security?
• 2:09
  Like
• 2:10
  a
• 2:10
  bouncer?
• 2:10
  No,
• 2:11
  no,
• 2:11
  I
• 2:11
  was
• 2:12
  securities.
• 2:13
  Anyway,
• 2:13
  it
• 2:13
  was
• 2:14
  like
• 2:14
  going
• 2:14
  to
• 2:15
  the
• 2:15
  securities
• 2:15
  and
• 2:15
  exchange
• 2:16
  commission,
• 2:16
  that
• 2:17
  kind
• 2:17
  of
• 2:17
  thing.
• 2:18
  Yeah,
• 2:19
  I
• 2:19
  hated
• 2:19
  it.
• 2:20
  It
• 2:20
  was
• 2:20
  horrible.
• 2:21
  But
• 2:21
  anyway,
• 2:21
  so
• 2:22
  she
• 2:22
  quit,
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  quit,
• 2:23
  I
• 2:23
  got
• 2:23
  a
• 2:23
  new
• 2:23
  job,
• 2:25
  and
• 2:25
  now
• 2:25
  here
• 2:26
  we
• 2:26
  are.
• 2:26
  Okay.
• 2:27
  Yes.
• 2:27
  Anyway,
• 2:28
  today
• 2:28
  we're
• 2:28
  gonna
• 2:28
  be
• 2:29
  covering
• 2:29
  a
• 2:29
  book
• 2:29
  that
• 2:30
  was
• 2:30
  controversial
• 2:31
  in
• 2:31
  its
• 2:31
  time.
• 2:32
  Battle
• 2:32
  Ham
• 2:32
  of
• 2:33
  the
• 2:33
  Tiger
• 2:33
  Mother
• 2:33
  by
• 2:34
  Amy
• 2:34
  Chua.
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  loved
• 2:37
  this
• 2:37
  book.
• 2:38
  I
• 2:38
  thought
• 2:38
  it
• 2:38
  was
• 2:39
  absolutely
• 2:39
  hilarious.
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  wonder
• 2:40
  if
• 2:41
  it
• 2:41
  could
• 2:41
  be
• 2:41
  made
• 2:42
  in
• 2:42
  the
• 2:42
  same
• 2:42
  way
• 2:43
  today,
• 2:44
  because
• 2:44
  there's
• 2:44
  a
• 2:45
  lot
• 2:45
  of
• 2:45
  on
• 2:45
  PC
• 2:45
  stuff
• 2:46
  in
• 2:46
  it.
• 2:46
  A
• 2:47
  lot.
• 2:47
  But,
• 2:47
  man,
• 2:48
  is
• 2:48
  she
• 2:49
  funny.
• 2:49
  Yeah.
• 2:50
  I
• 2:50
  told
• 2:50
  you
• 2:50
  it
• 2:50
  was
• 2:50
  a
• 2:51
  funny
• 2:51
  book.
• 2:51
  You
• 2:51
  did?
• 2:51
  You
• 2:51
  told
• 2:52
  me
• 2:52
  it
• 2:52
  was
• 2:52
  a
• 2:52
  funny
• 2:52
  book.
• 2:53
  And
• 2:53
  then
• 2:53
  I
• 2:53
  forgot
• 2:53
  that
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  said
• 2:54
  that.
• 2:55
  And
• 2:55
  then
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  read
• 2:55
  it
• 2:55
  and
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  was
• 2:56
  like,
• 2:56
  wow,
• 2:56
  this
• 2:57
  is
• 2:57
  a
• 2:57
  funny
• 2:57
  book.
• 2:58
  Right,
• 2:58
  right.
• 2:58
  Like
• 2:59
  you
• 2:59
  can't
• 2:59
  really
• 2:59
  tell
• 3:00
  when
• 3:00
  she's
• 3:00
  telling
• 3:01
  her
• 3:01
  story.
• 3:02
  A
• 3:02
  lot
• 3:02
  of
• 3:03
  it
• 3:03
  is
• 3:03
  tongue
• 3:03
  in
• 3:03
  cheek
• 3:04
  and
• 3:04
  she's
• 3:04
  kind
• 3:05
  of
• 3:05
  making
• 3:05
  fun
• 3:05
  of
• 3:06
  herself.
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  mean,
• 3:06
  she
• 3:07
  really
• 3:07
  outs
• 3:08
  herself
• 3:08
  on
• 3:09
  some
• 3:09
  pretty
• 3:10
  bad
• 3:10
  stuff.
• 3:11
  And
• 3:12
  I
• 3:13
  thought.
• 3:13
  I
• 3:13
  mean.
• 3:13
  And
• 3:14
  again,
• 3:15
  you
• 3:15
  know,
• 3:15
  I'm
• 3:16
  coming
• 3:16
  at
• 3:16
  it
• 3:16
  as
• 3:17
  a
• 3:17
  Western
• 3:18
  person.
• 3:19
  That's
• 3:19
  my
• 3:19
  background,
• 3:20
  my
• 3:20
  culture.
• 3:21
  She's
• 3:21
  coming
• 3:21
  at
• 3:21
  it
• 3:22
  with
• 3:22
  A
• 3:22
  woman
• 3:22
  of
• 3:22
  the
• 3:23
  West.
• 3:23
  A
• 3:23
  woman
• 3:23
  of
• 3:23
  the
• 3:24
  West.
• 3:24
  And
• 3:24
  kind
• 3:25
  of.
• 3:25
  I'm
• 3:25
  from
• 3:25
  Texas,
• 3:26
  original,
• 3:27
  so
• 3:27
  I'm
• 3:27
  really
• 3:27
  from
• 3:27
  the
• 3:27
  West.
• 3:28
  A
• 3:28
  woman
• 3:28
  of
• 3:28
  the
• 3:28
  west,
• 3:29
  everybody.
• 3:30
  But
• 3:30
  I'm
• 3:30
  American
• 3:31
  West.
• 3:32
  And
• 3:32
  she's
• 3:33
  Chinese.
• 3:34
  And
• 3:34
  so
• 3:34
  we're
• 3:35
  gonna
• 3:35
  hear
• 3:35
  about
• 3:35
  a
• 3:36
  big
• 3:36
  culture
• 3:36
  clash
• 3:37
  when
• 3:37
  it
• 3:37
  comes
• 3:38
  to
• 3:38
  parenting.
• 3:39
  And
• 3:39
  this
• 3:39
  is
• 3:40
  a
• 3:40
  book
• 3:40
  I
• 3:40
  had
• 3:40
  heard
• 3:41
  about
• 3:41
  and
• 3:42
  read
• 3:42
  about,
• 3:43
  but
• 3:43
  never
• 3:43
  read.
• 3:45
  And.
• 3:46
  Yeah,
• 3:46
  I
• 3:46
  mean,
• 3:47
  it's
• 3:47
  so
• 3:47
  much
• 3:47
  funnier
• 3:48
  than
• 3:48
  you
• 3:48
  would
• 3:48
  ever
• 3:49
  think
• 3:49
  it
• 3:49
  would
• 3:49
  be.
• 3:50
  Yeah,
• 3:50
  I
• 3:50
  mean,
• 3:50
  you've
• 3:50
  clearly
• 3:51
  had
• 3:51
  this
• 3:51
  book
• 3:51
  a
• 3:51
  long
• 3:51
  time
• 3:52
  because
• 3:52
  it
• 3:52
  looks
• 3:52
  like
• 3:52
  it
• 3:52
  has
• 3:53
  seen
• 3:53
  a
• 3:53
  few
• 3:53
  seasons.
• 3:54
  Well,
• 3:54
  that's
• 3:54
  because
• 3:54
  I
• 3:55
  bought
• 3:55
  it
• 3:55
  used.
• 3:55
  Oh,
• 3:56
  so
• 3:56
  it
• 3:57
  has.
• 3:57
  I
• 3:57
  was
• 3:57
  like,
• 3:57
  pete,
• 3:57
  how
• 3:58
  long
• 3:58
  has
• 3:58
  this
• 3:58
  been
• 3:58
  sitting
• 3:58
  on
• 3:58
  your
• 3:58
  shelf?
• 3:59
  No,
• 3:59
  no,
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  bought
• 4:00
  it
• 4:00
  used.
• 4:01
  And
• 4:01
  so
• 4:01
  you
• 4:01
  can
• 4:02
  see
• 4:02
  it's
• 4:02
  been
• 4:02
  through
• 4:02
  Many
• 4:03
  Hands.
• 4:03
  Yes,
• 4:04
  Many
• 4:04
  Hands.
• 4:04
  Many
• 4:05
  Hands.
• 4:05
  Popular
• 4:06
  book.
• 4:07
  Well,
• 4:07
  all
• 4:07
  right,
• 4:07
  let
• 4:07
  me
• 4:08
  tell
• 4:08
  you
• 4:08
  a
• 4:08
  little
• 4:08
  bit
• 4:08
  about
• 4:09
  it.
• 4:09
  Give
• 4:09
  us
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  macro.
• 4:10
  Give
• 4:10
  you
• 4:10
  the
• 4:11
  macro.
• 4:11
  That's
• 4:11
  my
• 4:12
  job.
• 4:12
  Okay.
• 4:13
  The
• 4:13
  subtitle
• 4:14
  of
• 4:14
  the
• 4:14
  book
• 4:14
  is
• 4:15
  this
• 4:15
  was
• 4:15
  supposed
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  be
• 4:16
  the
• 4:16
  story
• 4:17
  of
• 4:17
  how
• 4:17
  Chinese
• 4:18
  parents
• 4:18
  are
• 4:19
  better
• 4:19
  at
• 4:19
  raising
• 4:19
  kids
• 4:20
  than
• 4:20
  Western
• 4:20
  ones,
• 4:21
  but.
• 4:21
  But
• 4:21
  instead,
• 4:22
  it's
• 4:22
  a
• 4:22
  bitter
• 4:22
  clash
• 4:23
  of
• 4:23
  cultures,
• 4:24
  a
• 4:24
  fleeting
• 4:25
  taste
• 4:25
  of
• 4:25
  glory,
• 4:26
  and
• 4:26
  how
• 4:26
  I
• 4:26
  was
• 4:27
  humbled
• 4:27
  by
• 4:27
  a
• 4:27
  13
• 4:28
  year
• 4:28
  old.
• 4:29
  So
• 4:29
  the
• 4:29
  author,
• 4:30
  Amy,
• 4:31
  was
• 4:31
  a.
• 4:31
  And
• 4:32
  is,
• 4:32
  I
• 4:32
  think
• 4:32
  maybe
• 4:33
  today
• 4:33
  a
• 4:33
  Yale
• 4:34
  law
• 4:34
  professor.
• 4:35
  I
• 4:35
  think
• 4:35
  she
• 4:35
  still
• 4:35
  is,
• 4:35
  yes.
• 4:36
  Chinese
• 4:37
  background,
• 4:38
  married
• 4:39
  to
• 4:39
  a
• 4:39
  Jewish
• 4:40
  Yale
• 4:40
  law
• 4:40
  professor.
• 4:41
  And
• 4:41
  that
• 4:42
  comes
• 4:42
  up
• 4:42
  because
• 4:43
  they
• 4:43
  have
• 4:43
  different
• 4:44
  views
• 4:44
  of
• 4:44
  how
• 4:44
  to
• 4:44
  raise
• 4:45
  a
• 4:45
  child.
• 4:45
  Eastern,
• 4:46
  Western.
• 4:47
  Yeah.
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  wouldn't
• 4:48
  say
• 4:48
  that
• 4:48
  Jews
• 4:48
  are
• 4:49
  particularly
• 4:49
  soft
• 4:50
  on
• 4:50
  their
• 4:50
  children.
• 4:52
  So
• 4:52
  I
• 4:53
  was
• 4:53
  kind
• 4:53
  of
• 4:53
  surprised
• 4:55
  by
• 4:55
  how,
• 4:56
  like,
• 4:57
  it
• 4:57
  felt.
• 5:00
  What
• 5:00
  was
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  gonna
• 5:00
  say?
• 5:01
  How
• 5:01
  it
• 5:01
  felt
• 5:02
  like
• 5:03
  she
• 5:03
  was
• 5:03
  like,
• 5:03
  he's
• 5:04
  so
• 5:04
  much
• 5:04
  softer
• 5:05
  than
• 5:05
  me.
• 5:05
  Well,
• 5:06
  he
• 5:06
  was
• 5:06
  so
• 5:06
  much
• 5:07
  softer
• 5:07
  than
• 5:07
  she
• 5:08
  was.
• 5:08
  I
• 5:08
  mean,
• 5:09
  you
• 5:09
  know,
• 5:09
  I'm
• 5:09
  not
• 5:10
  saying
• 5:10
  that
• 5:10
  I
• 5:11
  think
• 5:11
  he
• 5:11
  wanted
• 5:11
  to
• 5:12
  be
• 5:12
  strict.
• 5:12
  That's.
• 5:13
  They
• 5:13
  did
• 5:13
  agree
• 5:13
  that
• 5:14
  it
• 5:14
  was
• 5:14
  okay
• 5:14
  for
• 5:14
  her
• 5:15
  to
• 5:15
  do
• 5:15
  this,
• 5:15
  to
• 5:16
  raise
• 5:16
  the
• 5:16
  kids
• 5:16
  this
• 5:16
  way,
• 5:16
  but
• 5:17
  it.
• 5:18
  And
• 5:18
  his
• 5:18
  mother,
• 5:19
  as
• 5:19
  you
• 5:19
  recall,
• 5:19
  you
• 5:20
  probably
• 5:20
  remember,
• 5:20
  she
• 5:21
  really
• 5:21
  felt
• 5:21
  like
• 5:22
  that.
• 5:22
  Yeah,
• 5:23
  she
• 5:23
  was
• 5:23
  a
• 5:23
  bohemian.
• 5:24
  She
• 5:24
  was
• 5:24
  a
• 5:24
  total
• 5:24
  bohemian.
• 5:25
  She
• 5:25
  did.
• 5:25
  She
• 5:26
  wanted
• 5:26
  the
• 5:26
  kids
• 5:26
  to
• 5:26
  just
• 5:27
  do
• 5:27
  what
• 5:27
  they
• 5:27
  wanted,
• 5:27
  have
• 5:28
  fun.
• 5:28
  And
• 5:28
  of
• 5:29
  course,
• 5:29
  Amy
• 5:29
  did
• 5:29
  not.
• 5:30
  Yeah,
• 5:30
  I
• 5:30
  think
• 5:30
  that
• 5:30
  was
• 5:30
  a
• 5:31
  good
• 5:31
  idea.
• 5:32
  There
• 5:32
  was
• 5:33
  very
• 5:33
  little
• 5:33
  unstructured
• 5:34
  time.
• 5:35
  None.
• 5:37
  None.
• 5:37
  Zero,
• 5:37
  I
• 5:38
  don't
• 5:38
  think,
• 5:39
  anyway.
• 5:39
  But
• 5:39
  she
• 5:39
  talks
• 5:40
  about
• 5:40
  raising
• 5:40
  her
• 5:40
  daughters
• 5:41
  under
• 5:41
  an
• 5:42
  authoritative,
• 5:43
  but
• 5:43
  sometimes
• 5:44
  warm.
• 5:45
  This
• 5:45
  is
• 5:45
  how
• 5:45
  she
• 5:45
  described
• 5:46
  it.
• 5:46
  Parenting
• 5:47
  style.
• 5:48
  I
• 5:48
  wouldn't
• 5:48
  have
• 5:49
  called
• 5:49
  it
• 5:49
  that,
• 5:49
  but
• 5:50
  what
• 5:50
  would
• 5:50
  you
• 5:50
  have
• 5:50
  called
• 5:50
  it?
• 5:52
  Authoritarian,
• 5:54
  but
• 5:55
  sometimes
• 5:55
  warm.
• 5:56
  There
• 5:56
  were
• 5:56
  warm
• 5:56
  moments.
• 5:57
  There
• 5:57
  were
• 5:57
  so.
• 5:58
  Like
• 5:58
  Stalin.
• 5:59
  Yeah,
• 5:59
  but
• 6:00
  in
• 6:00
  the
• 6:00
  tropics.
• 6:01
  Well,
• 6:01
  authoritarian
• 6:02
  parenting,
• 6:03
  like,
• 6:03
  just
• 6:04
  you
• 6:04
  do
• 6:04
  what
• 6:04
  I
• 6:04
  say,
• 6:05
  no
• 6:06
  art,
• 6:06
  you
• 6:06
  know,
• 6:06
  no
• 6:06
  talking
• 6:07
  back,
• 6:07
  that
• 6:07
  kind
• 6:08
  of
• 6:08
  thing.
• 6:08
  Not
• 6:09
  authoritative,
• 6:10
  which
• 6:10
  would
• 6:10
  have
• 6:10
  been
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  little
• 6:11
  more
• 6:12
  collaborative,
• 6:12
  you
• 6:13
  see?
• 6:13
  I
• 6:13
  see
• 6:13
  the
• 6:13
  distinction
• 6:14
  is
• 6:14
  vague,
• 6:14
  but
• 6:14
  continue.
• 6:15
  Okay.
• 6:16
  Okay.
• 6:16
  Anyway.
• 6:17
  And
• 6:17
  she
• 6:18
  calls
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  parenting
• 6:19
  style
• 6:19
  Chinese
• 6:20
  parenting
• 6:20
  or
• 6:21
  tiger
• 6:21
  parenting.
• 6:22
  And
• 6:22
  she
• 6:22
  calls
• 6:23
  American
• 6:23
  parenting,
• 6:24
  Western
• 6:25
  parenting.
• 6:25
  So
• 6:26
  we're
• 6:26
  gonna
• 6:26
  use
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  same
• 6:27
  terms
• 6:27
  just
• 6:28
  so
• 6:28
  you'll
• 6:28
  know
• 6:28
  what
• 6:29
  we're
• 6:29
  talking
• 6:29
  about.
• 6:30
  But
• 6:30
  we
• 6:31
  all
• 6:31
  know,
• 6:31
  and
• 6:31
  she
• 6:32
  says
• 6:32
  this,
• 6:32
  that
• 6:33
  these
• 6:33
  terms
• 6:33
  do
• 6:34
  not
• 6:34
  describe
• 6:34
  all
• 6:35
  Chinese
• 6:35
  parents
• 6:35
  or
• 6:36
  all
• 6:36
  Western
• 6:36
  parents.
• 6:37
  And
• 6:37
  she
• 6:38
  uses
• 6:38
  the
• 6:38
  terms
• 6:39
  very
• 6:39
  loosely
• 6:39
  because
• 6:40
  she
• 6:40
  says
• 6:41
  Korean,
• 6:41
  Indian,
• 6:42
  Jamaican,
• 6:42
  Irish
• 6:43
  parents
• 6:43
  might
• 6:44
  be
• 6:44
  parents
• 6:45
  who
• 6:45
  raise
• 6:45
  their
• 6:45
  kids
• 6:46
  in
• 6:46
  this
• 6:46
  strict
• 6:46
  way.
• 6:47
  What
• 6:47
  I
• 6:47
  interpreted
• 6:48
  from
• 6:48
  that
• 6:48
  is
• 6:48
  it
• 6:48
  seems
• 6:49
  like
• 6:49
  first
• 6:50
  generation
• 6:51
  is
• 6:52
  really
• 6:53
  a
• 6:53
  lot
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  times
• 6:54
  what
• 6:54
  she
• 6:54
  meant,
• 6:55
  because
• 6:55
  I
• 6:55
  think
• 6:56
  as
• 6:56
  a
• 6:56
  first
• 6:57
  generation
• 6:57
  kid,
• 6:58
  the
• 6:58
  stakes
• 6:58
  are
• 6:58
  much
• 6:58
  higher
• 6:59
  for
• 6:59
  you.
• 6:59
  Your
• 7:00
  parents
• 7:01
  probably
• 7:01
  left
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  country
• 7:03
  that.
• 7:04
  I
• 7:04
  mean,
• 7:04
  they
• 7:04
  left
• 7:05
  so
• 7:05
  much
• 7:06
  in
• 7:06
  the
• 7:06
  interest
• 7:06
  of
• 7:07
  giving
• 7:07
  you
• 7:07
  opportunities,
• 7:08
  so.
• 7:08
  So
• 7:09
  you
• 7:09
  better
• 7:09
  perform.
• 7:10
  Right.
• 7:10
  And
• 7:11
  you
• 7:11
  better
• 7:11
  listen
• 7:11
  and
• 7:11
  do
• 7:12
  what
• 7:12
  we
• 7:12
  say.
• 7:12
  Because
• 7:13
  we
• 7:13
  sacrificed.
• 7:14
  Yeah,
• 7:14
  Yeah,
• 7:15
  I
• 7:15
  think
• 7:15
  that's
• 7:15
  true.
• 7:16
  Yeah.
• 7:16
  And
• 7:17
  she
• 7:17
  has
• 7:17
  two
• 7:17
  daughters,
• 7:18
  Sophia
• 7:18
  and
• 7:18
  Lulu.
• 7:19
  Each
• 7:20
  child
• 7:20
  had
• 7:20
  to
• 7:20
  take
• 7:20
  up
• 7:21
  an
• 7:21
  instrument,
• 7:22
  and
• 7:23
  that's
• 7:23
  because
• 7:23
  she
• 7:23
  felt
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  playing
• 7:24
  classical
• 7:25
  music
• 7:25
  was
• 7:25
  just.
• 7:26
  Lulu
• 7:26
  took
• 7:26
  up
• 7:27
  two.
• 7:27
  Well,
• 7:28
  she
• 7:28
  started
• 7:28
  with.
• 7:28
  Lulu
• 7:29
  started
• 7:29
  with
• 7:29
  piano,
• 7:30
  but
• 7:30
  moved
• 7:30
  to
• 7:31
  violin
• 7:31
  when
• 7:32
  her
• 7:32
  mother
• 7:32
  picked
• 7:33
  that
• 7:33
  for
• 7:33
  her,
• 7:34
  and
• 7:34
  Sophia
• 7:35
  did
• 7:35
  piano.
• 7:37
  And
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  lot
• 7:38
  of
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  book
• 7:39
  has
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  do
• 7:40
  with
• 7:40
  how
• 7:41
  Amy
• 7:42
  makes
• 7:42
  the
• 7:42
  kids
• 7:42
  practice
• 7:43
  Incessantly.
• 7:44
  So
• 7:44
  they
• 7:44
  can
• 7:44
  be
• 7:45
  their
• 7:45
  best.
• 7:46
  Every
• 7:46
  single
• 7:46
  day.
• 7:47
  No.
• 7:47
  Days
• 7:47
  off.
• 7:47
  Several
• 7:48
  hours
• 7:48
  a
• 7:49
  day.
• 7:49
  Yes.
• 7:49
  Yes.
• 7:50
  And
• 7:50
  Lulu
• 7:51
  fights
• 7:51
  back
• 7:51
  as
• 7:51
  she
• 7:52
  gets
• 7:52
  older.
• 7:52
  And
• 7:52
  that's
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  crux
• 7:53
  of
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  story,
• 7:54
  the
• 7:54
  conflict.
• 7:55
  And
• 7:56
  she
• 7:56
  opens
• 7:57
  the
• 7:57
  book
• 7:57
  by
• 7:58
  saying
• 7:58
  things
• 7:59
  that
• 7:59
  her
• 7:59
  girls
• 7:59
  were
• 8:00
  never
• 8:00
  allowed
• 8:00
  to
• 8:01
  do,
• 8:01
  like
• 8:02
  attend
• 8:02
  a
• 8:02
  sleepover,
• 8:03
  have
• 8:03
  a
• 8:03
  play
• 8:04
  date,
• 8:04
  be
• 8:04
  in
• 8:04
  a
• 8:05
  play,
• 8:05
  or
• 8:05
  watch
• 8:06
  TV
• 8:06
  or
• 8:06
  play
• 8:07
  computer
• 8:07
  games,
• 8:08
  get
• 8:08
  a
• 8:08
  grade
• 8:08
  less
• 8:09
  than
• 8:09
  A.
• 8:10
  Not
• 8:10
  be
• 8:10
  the
• 8:10
  number
• 8:11
  one
• 8:11
  student
• 8:11
  in
• 8:12
  every
• 8:12
  subject
• 8:12
  but
• 8:13
  gym
• 8:13
  or
• 8:13
  drama,
• 8:14
  and
• 8:14
  not
• 8:15
  play
• 8:15
  the
• 8:16
  piano
• 8:16
  or
• 8:17
  violin.
• 8:17
  They
• 8:17
  had
• 8:18
  to
• 8:18
  do
• 8:18
  that.
• 8:20
  I
• 8:20
  wish
• 8:20
  you'd
• 8:20
  made
• 8:21
  me
• 8:21
  play
• 8:21
  an
• 8:21
  instrument.
• 8:22
  Do
• 8:22
  you?
• 8:23
  I
• 8:23
  do.
• 8:24
  Oh,
• 8:24
  God,
• 8:24
  you
• 8:25
  would
• 8:25
  have
• 8:25
  fought
• 8:25
  me
• 8:26
  so
• 8:26
  much,
• 8:26
  I
• 8:27
  think.
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  don't
• 8:27
  know.
• 8:27
  I
• 8:28
  mean,
• 8:28
  I
• 8:28
  was
• 8:28
  not
• 8:29
  good
• 8:29
  at
• 8:29
  the
• 8:29
  recorder,
• 8:30
  which
• 8:30
  was
• 8:30
  a
• 8:31
  requirement
• 8:31
  for
• 8:32
  everyone.
• 8:33
  Right.
• 8:33
  But
• 8:33
  I
• 8:33
  loved
• 8:34
  chorus.
• 8:35
  You
• 8:35
  know,
• 8:36
  like,
• 8:36
  I
• 8:36
  wish
• 8:36
  you'd,
• 8:36
  like,
• 8:37
  made
• 8:37
  me
• 8:38
  play
• 8:38
  piano
• 8:38
  or
• 8:39
  something.
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  do,
• 8:40
  too.
• 8:40
  You
• 8:41
  know,
• 8:41
  it's
• 8:41
  kind
• 8:41
  of
• 8:41
  funny.
• 8:42
  I
• 8:42
  mean,
• 8:43
  my
• 8:44
  mom
• 8:44
  tried
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  make
• 8:45
  me
• 8:45
  play
• 8:46
  piano.
• 8:47
  And
• 8:47
  I
• 8:48
  took
• 8:48
  piano
• 8:49
  lessons
• 8:49
  as
• 8:49
  a
• 8:49
  little
• 8:50
  girl
• 8:50
  from
• 8:51
  Mrs.
• 8:51
  Baskin
• 8:53
  in
• 8:53
  San
• 8:54
  Antonio.
• 8:55
  A
• 8:55
  hundred
• 8:55
  years
• 8:56
  ago,
• 8:56
  I
• 8:56
  was
• 8:57
  so
• 8:57
  bad,
• 8:58
  I
• 8:59
  could
• 8:59
  not
• 8:59
  learn
• 8:59
  to
• 8:59
  read
• 9:00
  music.
• 9:00
  And
• 9:00
  so
• 9:01
  I
• 9:01
  would,
• 9:02
  like,
• 9:02
  write
• 9:02
  A,
• 9:03
  B,
• 9:03
  D,
• 9:04
  C
• 9:04
  under
• 9:05
  the
• 9:05
  notes
• 9:05
  so
• 9:06
  I
• 9:06
  would
• 9:06
  know
• 9:06
  what
• 9:06
  to
• 9:06
  play
• 9:07
  because
• 9:07
  I
• 9:08
  couldn't
• 9:08
  read
• 9:08
  the
• 9:08
  music.
• 9:09
  And
• 9:10
  finally,
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  was
• 9:11
  so
• 9:11
  bad
• 9:11
  at
• 9:11
  it,
• 9:11
  Ms.
• 9:12
  Baskin
• 9:12
  told
• 9:13
  my
• 9:13
  mother
• 9:13
  to
• 9:13
  quit
• 9:14
  the
• 9:14
  lessons
• 9:14
  that
• 9:15
  she
• 9:15
  didn't
• 9:15
  even
• 9:15
  want
• 9:15
  to
• 9:15
  teach
• 9:16
  me.
• 9:16
  You're
• 9:16
  wasting
• 9:16
  your
• 9:16
  money,
• 9:17
  that's
• 9:17
  what
• 9:17
  she
• 9:17
  said.
• 9:18
  That's
• 9:18
  so
• 9:18
  funny.
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  had
• 9:19
  no
• 9:19
  musical
• 9:20
  talent,
• 9:20
  so
• 9:20
  I
• 9:20
  guess
• 9:21
  I
• 9:21
  thought
• 9:21
  you
• 9:21
  wouldn't.
• 9:21
  I
• 9:22
  don't
• 9:22
  know.
• 9:22
  But
• 9:22
  Grandma
• 9:23
  did.
• 9:24
  Yeah,
• 9:24
  Grandma
• 9:24
  paid.
• 9:25
  Yeah,
• 9:25
  you're
• 9:25
  right.
• 9:26
  She
• 9:26
  played
• 9:26
  piano
• 9:27
  and
• 9:27
  she
• 9:27
  went
• 9:27
  to
• 9:27
  Juilliard.
• 9:28
  Yeah.
• 9:29
  So
• 9:29
  what
• 9:29
  happened?
• 9:30
  I
• 9:30
  don't
• 9:30
  know.
• 9:30
  It
• 9:30
  skipped
• 9:31
  a
• 9:31
  generation,
• 9:31
  I
• 9:32
  guess.
• 9:32
  But
• 9:32
  anyway,
• 9:33
  you.
• 9:33
  But
• 9:33
  you
• 9:33
  can
• 9:34
  sing.
• 9:34
  Yeah,
• 9:35
  but
• 9:35
  I
• 9:35
  would
• 9:35
  have
• 9:36
  liked
• 9:36
  to
• 9:36
  be
• 9:36
  able
• 9:36
  to
• 9:36
  play
• 9:36
  piano.
• 9:37
  I
• 9:37
  should
• 9:37
  have.
• 9:38
  I
• 9:38
  should
• 9:38
  have.
• 9:39
  One
• 9:39
  of
• 9:39
  the
• 9:39
  things
• 9:39
  this
• 9:40
  book
• 9:40
  made
• 9:41
  me
• 9:41
  realize,
• 9:42
  and
• 9:42
  we
• 9:42
  can
• 9:43
  talk
• 9:43
  about
• 9:43
  this,
• 9:44
  is
• 9:44
  that
• 9:44
  I
• 9:45
  should
• 9:45
  have
• 9:46
  set
• 9:46
  a
• 9:46
  higher
• 9:47
  bar
• 9:47
  for
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  than
• 9:47
  I
• 9:48
  did.
• 9:48
  Okay.
• 9:48
  I
• 9:49
  never
• 9:49
  pushed
• 9:50
  you
• 9:50
  guys
• 9:50
  to
• 9:51
  do
• 9:51
  things
• 9:51
  that
• 9:51
  I
• 9:52
  thought
• 9:52
  might
• 9:52
  be
• 9:52
  hard
• 9:52
  for
• 9:53
  you.
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  didn't.
• 9:55
  And
• 9:55
  so,
• 9:56
  anyway.
• 9:56
  Okay,
• 9:57
  so
• 9:58
  she's
• 9:58
  gonna
• 9:59
  show
• 9:59
  the
• 9:59
  difference.
• 9:59
  I
• 9:59
  just
• 10:00
  wanna
• 10:00
  show
• 10:00
  some
• 10:00
  of
• 10:00
  these
• 10:01
  stats
• 10:01
  that
• 10:01
  she.
• 10:01
  Cause
• 10:02
  it's
• 10:02
  really
• 10:02
  interesting.
• 10:03
  She's
• 10:03
  trying
• 10:03
  to
• 10:03
  show
• 10:04
  the
• 10:04
  differences
• 10:04
  between
• 10:05
  Western
• 10:06
  and
• 10:06
  Chinese
• 10:06
  parents.
• 10:07
  And.
• 10:07
  And
• 10:07
  In
• 10:08
  a
• 10:08
  study,
• 10:08
  70%
• 10:09
  of
• 10:09
  Western
• 10:10
  mothers
• 10:10
  said
• 10:11
  that
• 10:11
  stressing
• 10:11
  academic
• 10:12
  success
• 10:12
  is
• 10:13
  not
• 10:13
  good
• 10:13
  for
• 10:13
  children
• 10:15
  and
• 10:15
  that
• 10:16
  parents
• 10:16
  need
• 10:16
  to
• 10:16
  foster
• 10:17
  the
• 10:17
  idea
• 10:17
  that
• 10:17
  Learning
• 10:18
  is
• 10:18
  fun.
• 10:19
  0%
• 10:20
  of
• 10:20
  Chinese
• 10:20
  moms
• 10:21
  agreed
• 10:21
  to
• 10:21
  Those
• 10:22
  statements.
• 10:23
  They
• 10:23
  felt
• 10:23
  that
• 10:24
  if
• 10:24
  their
• 10:24
  kids
• 10:24
  didn't
• 10:25
  excel
• 10:25
  in
• 10:25
  school,
• 10:26
  there
• 10:26
  was
• 10:26
  a
• 10:26
  problem
• 10:27
  and
• 10:27
  the
• 10:27
  parents
• 10:27
  weren't
• 10:28
  doing
• 10:28
  their
• 10:28
  jobs.
• 10:29
  And
• 10:30
  the
• 10:30
  author
• 10:30
  decided
• 10:31
  she's
• 10:31
  going
• 10:31
  to
• 10:31
  raise
• 10:32
  her
• 10:32
  kids
• 10:32
  to
• 10:32
  be
• 10:32
  obedient
• 10:33
  Chinese
• 10:33
  children.
• 10:35
  And
• 10:35
  she
• 10:36
  opens
• 10:36
  the
• 10:36
  book
• 10:37
  with
• 10:37
  the
• 10:37
  story
• 10:37
  of
• 10:38
  Lulu.
• 10:38
  At
• 10:38
  age
• 10:38
  three,
• 10:39
  she
• 10:39
  was
• 10:39
  trying
• 10:40
  to
• 10:40
  teach
• 10:40
  her
• 10:40
  to
• 10:40
  play
• 10:41
  piano
• 10:41
  properly,
• 10:42
  and
• 10:42
  Lulu
• 10:43
  kept
• 10:43
  banging
• 10:43
  on
• 10:44
  the
• 10:44
  keys
• 10:44
  and
• 10:44
  wouldn't
• 10:45
  listen.
• 10:45
  And
• 10:45
  when
• 10:46
  she
• 10:46
  asked
• 10:46
  her
• 10:46
  to
• 10:47
  stop
• 10:47
  and
• 10:47
  she
• 10:48
  just
• 10:48
  wasn't
• 10:48
  listening,
• 10:49
  she
• 10:49
  took
• 10:49
  her
• 10:49
  out
• 10:50
  and
• 10:50
  put
• 10:50
  her
• 10:51
  outside
• 10:51
  in
• 10:51
  20
• 10:52
  degree,
• 10:53
  I
• 10:53
  think
• 10:53
  it
• 10:53
  was
• 10:53
  snowy
• 10:54
  weather,
• 10:54
  and
• 10:55
  told
• 10:55
  her
• 10:55
  to
• 10:56
  stay
• 10:56
  there
• 10:56
  until
• 10:56
  she
• 10:57
  could
• 10:57
  listen.
• 10:58
  And
• 10:58
  when
• 10:59
  she
• 11:00
  finally
• 11:00
  told
• 11:00
  Lulu
• 11:01
  to
• 11:01
  come
• 11:01
  in,
• 11:01
  Lulu
• 11:02
  just
• 11:02
  stood
• 11:02
  there,
• 11:02
  wouldn't
• 11:03
  come
• 11:03
  in.
• 11:04
  She
• 11:04
  said
• 11:04
  she
• 11:04
  would
• 11:04
  rather
• 11:05
  freeze
• 11:05
  than
• 11:05
  give
• 11:05
  in.
• 11:06
  And
• 11:06
  that
• 11:06
  that
• 11:07
  was
• 11:07
  like
• 11:07
  the
• 11:07
  beginning
• 11:07
  of
• 11:08
  their
• 11:08
  nuclear
• 11:08
  war
• 11:09
  relationship
• 11:10
  was
• 11:10
  when
• 11:10
  she
• 11:11
  just
• 11:11
  wouldn't
• 11:12
  cooperate.
• 11:14
  Now
• 11:14
  Sophia
• 11:15
  cooperated.
• 11:17
  She
• 11:17
  became
• 11:17
  a
• 11:18
  piano
• 11:18
  prodigy
• 11:19
  who
• 11:19
  played
• 11:19
  Carnegie
• 11:20
  hall
• 11:20
  around
• 11:20
  age
• 11:21
  12.
• 11:22
  And
• 11:23
  when
• 11:24
  she
• 11:24
  was
• 11:24
  practicing
• 11:24
  with
• 11:25
  her
• 11:25
  mother,
• 11:25
  she
• 11:25
  quoted
• 11:26
  her
• 11:26
  mom
• 11:26
  as
• 11:26
  saying,
• 11:27
  oh
• 11:27
  my
• 11:27
  God,
• 11:28
  you're
• 11:28
  just
• 11:28
  getting
• 11:29
  worse
• 11:29
  and
• 11:29
  worse.
• 11:30
  I
• 11:31
  can't
• 11:31
  imagine
• 11:31
  saying
• 11:32
  that
• 11:32
  to
• 11:32
  you
• 11:32
  if
• 11:32
  you
• 11:33
  were
• 11:33
  trying
• 11:33
  to
• 11:33
  play
• 11:34
  piano.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:35
  then
• 11:36
  she
• 11:36
  would
• 11:37
  say
• 11:37
  something
• 11:37
  like,
• 11:37
  if
• 11:37
  the
• 11:38
  next
• 11:38
  time's
• 11:38
  not
• 11:38
  perfect,
• 11:39
  I'm
• 11:39
  going
• 11:39
  to
• 11:40
  take
• 11:40
  all
• 11:40
  your
• 11:40
  stuffed
• 11:40
  animals
• 11:41
  and
• 11:41
  burn
• 11:41
  them.
• 11:42
  See,
• 11:42
  I
• 11:42
  think
• 11:43
  a
• 11:43
  key
• 11:43
  difference
• 11:44
  between
• 11:46
  Chinese
• 11:47
  style
• 11:47
  parenting
• 11:48
  and
• 11:48
  Western
• 11:48
  style
• 11:49
  parenting
• 11:49
  is
• 11:49
  that
• 11:50
  Western
• 11:50
  parents
• 11:51
  are
• 11:51
  obsessed
• 11:51
  with
• 11:51
  rewarding
• 11:52
  effort,
• 11:53
  whereas
• 11:54
  the
• 11:54
  Chinese
• 11:54
  style
• 11:54
  of
• 11:55
  parenting
• 11:55
  rewards
• 11:56
  results.
• 11:57
  Right.
• 11:57
  I
• 11:58
  would
• 11:58
  say
• 11:58
  that's
• 11:58
  true.
• 11:59
  I
• 11:59
  don't,
• 12:00
  you
• 12:00
  know,
• 12:00
  I
• 12:00
  think
• 12:00
  it's.
• 12:01
  That's
• 12:01
  right.
• 12:02
  We
• 12:02
  have
• 12:02
  a
• 12:02
  whole,
• 12:03
  you
• 12:03
  know,
• 12:03
  we
• 12:03
  all
• 12:03
  listen
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  Carol
• 12:04
  Dweck,
• 12:05
  the
• 12:05
  growth
• 12:05
  mindset.
• 12:06
  The
• 12:06
  growth
• 12:06
  mindset
• 12:07
  that
• 12:07
  we
• 12:07
  should
• 12:08
  be.
• 12:08
  Yeah.
• 12:09
  You
• 12:09
  know,
• 12:10
  saying
• 12:10
  how
• 12:11
  good
• 12:11
  you're
• 12:11
  trying,
• 12:11
  how
• 12:12
  hard
• 12:12
  you're
• 12:12
  trying
• 12:12
  and
• 12:14
  say
• 12:14
  good
• 12:14
  things
• 12:14
  about
• 12:15
  the
• 12:15
  process.
• 12:16
  We
• 12:16
  Not.
• 12:16
  Not
• 12:17
  the
• 12:17
  actual
• 12:17
  results.
• 12:18
  But
• 12:18
  you're
• 12:18
  right.
• 12:19
  This.
• 12:19
  Their
• 12:19
  results
• 12:20
  oriented.
• 12:20
  They
• 12:20
  are
• 12:20
  totally
• 12:21
  result,
• 12:21
  period.
• 12:22
  Yeah.
• 12:23
  In
• 12:23
  fact,
• 12:23
  the
• 12:23
  Chinese
• 12:24
  mother
• 12:24
  believes
• 12:25
  schoolwork
• 12:26
  always
• 12:26
  become
• 12:26
  go
• 12:27
  comes
• 12:27
  first.
• 12:28
  An
• 12:28
  A
• 12:29
  minus
• 12:29
  is
• 12:29
  a
• 12:30
  bad
• 12:30
  grade.
• 12:31
  I
• 12:31
  dare
• 12:32
  to
• 12:32
  dream
• 12:32
  I'd
• 12:32
  get
• 12:32
  an
• 12:33
  A
• 12:33
  minus.
• 12:33
  Oh,
• 12:33
  I
• 12:33
  know.
• 12:34
  I
• 12:34
  mean,
• 12:34
  I
• 12:34
  would
• 12:34
  be
• 12:34
  so
• 12:34
  happy.
• 12:35
  You
• 12:35
  would
• 12:35
  have
• 12:35
  thrown
• 12:36
  a
• 12:36
  parade.
• 12:36
  I
• 12:36
  would
• 12:36
  have
• 12:37
  been
• 12:37
  very
• 12:37
  happy
• 12:37
  for
• 12:37
  you.
• 12:39
  And
• 12:39
  that,
• 12:39
  you
• 12:40
  know,
• 12:40
  the
• 12:40
  Chinese
• 12:40
  parents
• 12:41
  say
• 12:41
  that
• 12:42
  they
• 12:42
  want
• 12:42
  their
• 12:42
  child
• 12:42
  to
• 12:43
  be
• 12:43
  two
• 12:43
  years
• 12:43
  ahead
• 12:44
  of
• 12:44
  their
• 12:44
  classmates
• 12:45
  in
• 12:45
  math.
• 12:47
  And
• 12:48
  she
• 12:49
  said
• 12:49
  that
• 12:49
  when
• 12:49
  she
• 12:50
  saw
• 12:50
  how
• 12:50
  much
• 12:51
  farther
• 12:51
  ahead
• 12:52
  Sophia
• 12:53
  was
• 12:53
  than
• 12:53
  her
• 12:53
  classmates,
• 12:54
  you
• 12:54
  know,
• 12:55
  she
• 12:55
  was
• 12:55
  reading
• 12:56
  Sartre
• 12:57
  S
• 12:57
  A
• 12:57
  R
• 12:58
  T
• 12:58
  her.
• 12:58
  How
• 12:58
  do
• 12:58
  you
• 12:58
  say
• 12:59
  that?
• 12:59
  Sartaire,
• 13:00
  you
• 13:00
  know,
• 13:00
  the
• 13:00
  French
• 13:00
  philosopher.
• 13:01
  Yeah,
• 13:01
  yeah,
• 13:01
  that
• 13:02
  guy.
• 13:02
  That
• 13:02
  guy.
• 13:03
  Anyway,
• 13:03
  she
• 13:03
  was
• 13:03
  reading
• 13:04
  that
• 13:04
  at
• 13:04
  age
• 13:05
  3,
• 13:05
  Sartre.
• 13:06
  And
• 13:07
  she
• 13:07
  was
• 13:07
  doing
• 13:07
  set
• 13:08
  theory
• 13:08
  math
• 13:08
  at
• 13:09
  age
• 13:09
  3.
• 13:09
  I
• 13:09
  still
• 13:10
  can't
• 13:10
  do
• 13:10
  set
• 13:10
  theory
• 13:11
  math.
• 13:12
  I
• 13:12
  know.
• 13:13
  And
• 13:13
  she
• 13:14
  could
• 13:14
  write
• 13:14
  100
• 13:14
  Chinese
• 13:15
  characters
• 13:16
  at
• 13:16
  such
• 13:16
  a
• 13:16
  young
• 13:16
  age.
• 13:17
  Whereas
• 13:17
  her,
• 13:18
  you
• 13:18
  know,
• 13:18
  her
• 13:18
  friends,
• 13:19
  children
• 13:19
  were
• 13:20
  maybe
• 13:20
  drawing
• 13:20
  a
• 13:20
  circle
• 13:21
  and
• 13:21
  that's
• 13:22
  all
• 13:22
  they
• 13:22
  could
• 13:22
  do.
• 13:23
  And
• 13:23
  she
• 13:23
  realized,
• 13:23
  she
• 13:24
  said,
• 13:24
  that
• 13:24
  Chinese
• 13:25
  parents
• 13:25
  just
• 13:25
  have
• 13:25
  higher
• 13:26
  dreams
• 13:26
  for
• 13:27
  their
• 13:27
  kids
• 13:28
  and
• 13:28
  higher
• 13:28
  regard
• 13:29
  for
• 13:29
  their
• 13:29
  kids
• 13:30
  in
• 13:30
  knowing
• 13:30
  that
• 13:31
  they
• 13:31
  can
• 13:31
  be
• 13:31
  pushed
• 13:31
  really
• 13:32
  hard
• 13:32
  to
• 13:32
  learn.
• 13:35
  And
• 13:35
  she
• 13:35
  talks
• 13:36
  about
• 13:36
  how
• 13:36
  Chinese
• 13:37
  parents
• 13:38
  understand
• 13:39
  that
• 13:39
  nothing
• 13:39
  is
• 13:40
  fun
• 13:40
  until
• 13:40
  you
• 13:40
  are
• 13:41
  good
• 13:41
  at
• 13:41
  it.
• 13:42
  So
• 13:42
  to
• 13:42
  get
• 13:42
  good
• 13:43
  at
• 13:43
  something,
• 13:43
  you
• 13:43
  have
• 13:44
  to
• 13:44
  work
• 13:44
  at
• 13:44
  it.
• 13:44
  And
• 13:45
  children
• 13:45
  on
• 13:45
  their
• 13:45
  own
• 13:46
  never
• 13:46
  wanna
• 13:46
  work.
• 13:47
  And
• 13:47
  that's
• 13:47
  why
• 13:48
  it's
• 13:48
  crucial
• 13:48
  to
• 13:49
  override
• 13:49
  their
• 13:49
  preferences.
• 13:51
  And
• 13:51
  this
• 13:51
  requires
• 13:52
  fortitude
• 13:52
  on
• 13:53
  the
• 13:53
  part
• 13:53
  of
• 13:53
  the
• 13:53
  parent
• 13:53
  because
• 13:54
  the
• 13:54
  child
• 13:54
  will
• 13:54
  resist.
• 13:55
  Yes.
• 13:56
  And
• 13:56
  things
• 13:56
  are
• 13:57
  always
• 13:57
  hardest
• 13:57
  at
• 13:57
  the
• 13:58
  beginning.
• 13:58
  And
• 13:58
  that's
• 13:59
  when
• 13:59
  the
• 13:59
  west
• 14:00
  parents
• 14:00
  give
• 14:00
  up.
• 14:01
  But
• 14:01
  if
• 14:01
  done
• 14:02
  properly,
• 14:03
  the
• 14:03
  Chinese
• 14:03
  strategy
• 14:04
  produces
• 14:05
  a
• 14:05
  virtuous
• 14:06
  circle.
• 14:06
  Like,
• 14:06
  there's
• 14:07
  practice,
• 14:07
  practice,
• 14:08
  practice.
• 14:08
  And
• 14:09
  that's
• 14:09
  important
• 14:10
  for
• 14:10
  excellence.
• 14:11
  Rote
• 14:11
  repetition
• 14:12
  is
• 14:12
  underrated
• 14:13
  in
• 14:13
  America.
• 14:14
  Once
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  child
• 14:15
  starts
• 14:15
  to
• 14:15
  excel
• 14:15
  at
• 14:16
  something,
• 14:16
  whether
• 14:16
  it's
• 14:17
  piano
• 14:17
  or
• 14:17
  math,
• 14:18
  whatever,
• 14:18
  they
• 14:19
  get
• 14:19
  praise,
• 14:19
  admiration.
• 14:22
  That
• 14:22
  makes
• 14:22
  them
• 14:23
  happy,
• 14:23
  builds
• 14:24
  confidence,
• 14:25
  and
• 14:25
  it
• 14:25
  turns
• 14:26
  an
• 14:26
  activity
• 14:26
  that
• 14:27
  wasn't
• 14:27
  fun
• 14:27
  into
• 14:27
  something
• 14:28
  fun.
• 14:29
  So
• 14:29
  that's
• 14:29
  what
• 14:29
  she
• 14:29
  says.
• 14:30
  Can't
• 14:30
  argue
• 14:30
  with
• 14:30
  that,
• 14:31
  Right?
• 14:32
  Yeah.
• 14:33
  So
• 14:34
  in
• 14:34
  her
• 14:34
  world,
• 14:35
  it
• 14:36
  meant
• 14:36
  that
• 14:36
  her
• 14:36
  children
• 14:37
  had
• 14:37
  to
• 14:37
  practice
• 14:37
  their
• 14:37
  music
• 14:38
  three
• 14:38
  hours
• 14:39
  a
• 14:39
  day
• 14:40
  and
• 14:40
  all
• 14:40
  day
• 14:40
  on
• 14:40
  Saturday.
• 14:43
  Even
• 14:43
  on
• 14:43
  vacation,
• 14:44
  she
• 14:44
  would
• 14:44
  find
• 14:45
  pianos
• 14:46
  in,
• 14:47
  like,
• 14:47
  hotel
• 14:47
  lobbies
• 14:48
  and
• 14:49
  in
• 14:49
  churches
• 14:50
  and
• 14:51
  wherever
• 14:51
  she
• 14:51
  could
• 14:51
  find
• 14:52
  so
• 14:52
  that
• 14:52
  they
• 14:53
  could
• 14:53
  get
• 14:53
  their
• 14:53
  practice
• 14:54
  in.
• 14:54
  They
• 14:54
  didn't
• 14:55
  get
• 14:55
  a
• 14:55
  day
• 14:55
  off.
• 14:56
  It's
• 14:57
  a
• 14:57
  little
• 14:57
  obsessive.
• 14:57
  God
• 14:57
  bless.
• 14:58
  I
• 14:58
  mean,
• 14:58
  it's
• 14:58
  kind
• 14:58
  of
• 14:59
  like
• 14:59
  people
• 14:59
  are
• 14:59
  about
• 14:59
  working
• 15:00
  out.
• 15:00
  You
• 15:00
  know,
• 15:00
  some
• 15:01
  people,
• 15:01
  they're
• 15:01
  really
• 15:01
  like,
• 15:02
  we
• 15:02
  have
• 15:02
  to
• 15:02
  work
• 15:02
  out.
• 15:02
  I
• 15:03
  can't
• 15:03
  miss
• 15:03
  it.
• 15:03
  Yeah.
• 15:03
  Cause
• 15:04
  it's
• 15:04
  like,
• 15:04
  if
• 15:04
  you're
• 15:04
  not
• 15:05
  getting
• 15:05
  better,
• 15:05
  you're
• 15:05
  getting
• 15:06
  worse.
• 15:06
  Right.
• 15:06
  And
• 15:07
  so
• 15:07
  she
• 15:07
  was
• 15:07
  all
• 15:08
  over
• 15:08
  this.
• 15:10
  She
• 15:10
  tells
• 15:10
  a
• 15:11
  story
• 15:11
  about
• 15:11
  how
• 15:11
  she
• 15:11
  was
• 15:11
  at
• 15:11
  dinner
• 15:12
  with
• 15:12
  friends,
• 15:13
  and
• 15:13
  she
• 15:13
  was
• 15:13
  recounting
• 15:14
  how
• 15:14
  she
• 15:15
  had
• 15:16
  called
• 15:16
  her
• 15:16
  daughter
• 15:17
  garbage
• 15:18
  after
• 15:18
  her
• 15:18
  daughter
• 15:19
  spoke
• 15:19
  to
• 15:19
  her
• 15:19
  disrespectfully.
• 15:20
  And
• 15:21
  they
• 15:21
  thought
• 15:21
  it
• 15:21
  was
• 15:21
  terrible.
• 15:22
  They
• 15:22
  were
• 15:22
  just
• 15:23
  appalled.
• 15:24
  One
• 15:24
  mom
• 15:24
  was
• 15:24
  so
• 15:25
  upset,
• 15:25
  she
• 15:25
  had
• 15:25
  to
• 15:25
  leave
• 15:26
  the
• 15:26
  whole
• 15:26
  dinner
• 15:26
  party.
• 15:28
  But
• 15:28
  she
• 15:28
  explained
• 15:28
  to
• 15:28
  them
• 15:29
  that,
• 15:29
  no,
• 15:29
  no,
• 15:29
  no,
• 15:29
  it's
• 15:30
  a
• 15:30
  Chinese
• 15:30
  thing.
• 15:32
  She
• 15:32
  said,
• 15:32
  she
• 15:33
  told
• 15:33
  them,
• 15:33
  you
• 15:33
  know,
• 15:33
  Chinese
• 15:34
  mothers
• 15:34
  are
• 15:34
  going
• 15:34
  to
• 15:34
  say
• 15:35
  to
• 15:35
  their
• 15:35
  daughter,
• 15:36
  hey,
• 15:36
  fatty,
• 15:36
  lose
• 15:37
  some
• 15:37
  weight.
• 15:37
  Whereas
• 15:38
  a
• 15:38
  Western
• 15:39
  mom
• 15:39
  would
• 15:39
  tiptoe
• 15:40
  around
• 15:40
  the
• 15:40
  idea
• 15:40
  of
• 15:40
  weight.
• 15:42
  And
• 15:42
  she
• 15:43
  said,
• 15:43
  in
• 15:43
  any
• 15:43
  way,
• 15:43
  their
• 15:43
  Kids
• 15:44
  will
• 15:44
  end
• 15:44
  up
• 15:44
  in
• 15:44
  therapy
• 15:45
  or
• 15:45
  with
• 15:45
  eating
• 15:45
  disorders.
• 15:46
  But
• 15:46
  we
• 15:46
  just.
• 15:47
  We
• 15:47
  say
• 15:47
  it
• 15:47
  like
• 15:47
  it
• 15:47
  is.
• 15:48
  Yeah.
• 15:48
  And
• 15:50
  Chinese
• 15:50
  parents
• 15:51
  can
• 15:51
  order
• 15:51
  their
• 15:51
  kids
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  make
• 15:52
  straight
• 15:53
  A's.
• 15:53
  Western
• 15:54
  parents
• 15:54
  can
• 15:54
  only
• 15:54
  tell
• 15:55
  their
• 15:55
  kids
• 15:55
  to
• 15:55
  do
• 15:55
  their
• 15:56
  best.
• 15:56
  So
• 15:57
  she's
• 15:57
  trying
• 15:57
  to
• 15:57
  explain
• 15:58
  to
• 15:58
  these
• 15:59
  that
• 15:59
  it's
• 15:59
  a
• 15:59
  cultural
• 16:00
  difference.
• 16:00
  You
• 16:00
  know,
• 16:01
  we
• 16:01
  just
• 16:02
  have
• 16:02
  a
• 16:02
  clash
• 16:02
  of
• 16:03
  worldviews.
• 16:04
  Yeah,
• 16:04
  that's
• 16:04
  really
• 16:05
  what
• 16:05
  it
• 16:05
  is.
• 16:07
  One
• 16:07
  is
• 16:07
  a
• 16:08
  dictatorship
• 16:09
  and
• 16:09
  the
• 16:09
  other
• 16:10
  is
• 16:11
  democracy.
• 16:12
  I
• 16:12
  don't
• 16:12
  know.
• 16:12
  I
• 16:12
  would
• 16:12
  not
• 16:13
  call
• 16:13
  it
• 16:13
  really
• 16:13
  any
• 16:13
  sort
• 16:14
  of
• 16:14
  parenting
• 16:14
  a
• 16:14
  democracy,
• 16:15
  because
• 16:15
  ultimately
• 16:16
  a
• 16:16
  parent
• 16:17
  should
• 16:17
  be
• 16:17
  in
• 16:18
  charge.
• 16:18
  It's
• 16:18
  just
• 16:19
  to
• 16:19
  what
• 16:19
  degree.
• 16:19
  You're
• 16:20
  right.
• 16:20
  That's
• 16:20
  true.
• 16:21
  Yeah,
• 16:21
  yeah.
• 16:21
  No,
• 16:21
  no,
• 16:22
  no.
• 16:22
  They
• 16:22
  need
• 16:22
  to
• 16:22
  be
• 16:22
  setting
• 16:23
  boundaries.
• 16:23
  Yeah,
• 16:23
  you're
• 16:24
  right.
• 16:24
  You're
• 16:24
  right.
• 16:26
  She
• 16:26
  talks
• 16:26
  about
• 16:27
  how
• 16:27
  Western
• 16:27
  parents
• 16:28
  worry
• 16:28
  about
• 16:28
  self
• 16:29
  esteem.
• 16:30
  Not
• 16:31
  a
• 16:31
  thing
• 16:31
  in
• 16:31
  Chinese
• 16:32
  parents.
• 16:32
  Chinese
• 16:33
  parents
• 16:33
  don't.
• 16:33
  That's
• 16:34
  what
• 16:34
  she
• 16:34
  said.
• 16:34
  She
• 16:35
  said
• 16:35
  that
• 16:35
  Chinese
• 16:36
  parents
• 16:36
  assume
• 16:36
  strength,
• 16:37
  not
• 16:38
  fragility.
• 16:39
  If
• 16:39
  a
• 16:39
  child
• 16:40
  comes
• 16:40
  home
• 16:41
  with
• 16:41
  an
• 16:41
  A
• 16:41
  minus
• 16:42
  on
• 16:42
  a
• 16:42
  test,
• 16:43
  Western
• 16:43
  parents
• 16:44
  will
• 16:44
  praise
• 16:45
  them,
• 16:45
  but
• 16:45
  Chinese
• 16:46
  parents
• 16:46
  will
• 16:46
  gasp
• 16:47
  in
• 16:47
  horror
• 16:47
  and
• 16:48
  ask
• 16:48
  what's
• 16:48
  wrong?
• 16:50
  And
• 16:50
  a
• 16:50
  Chinese
• 16:51
  parent
• 16:51
  might
• 16:51
  call
• 16:51
  their
• 16:51
  child
• 16:52
  worthless,
• 16:52
  stupid
• 16:53
  or
• 16:53
  a
• 16:53
  disgrace.
• 16:54
  A
• 16:54
  Western
• 16:55
  parent
• 16:55
  won't.
• 16:56
  If
• 16:57
  a
• 16:57
  Chinese
• 16:57
  child
• 16:58
  brings
• 16:58
  home
• 16:58
  a
• 16:58
  bee,
• 16:59
  they're
• 16:59
  going
• 16:59
  to
• 16:59
  get
• 16:59
  yelled
• 16:59
  at.
• 17:01
  But
• 17:01
  what
• 17:01
  she's
• 17:02
  trying
• 17:02
  to
• 17:02
  explain
• 17:02
  is
• 17:03
  Chinese
• 17:03
  parents
• 17:04
  demand
• 17:04
  perfect
• 17:05
  grades
• 17:05
  because
• 17:05
  they
• 17:06
  believe
• 17:06
  their
• 17:06
  child
• 17:06
  can
• 17:07
  do
• 17:07
  it.
• 17:08
  And
• 17:08
  they
• 17:08
  think
• 17:08
  their
• 17:09
  child
• 17:09
  is
• 17:09
  strong
• 17:10
  enough
• 17:10
  to
• 17:10
  be
• 17:10
  shamed
• 17:11
  and
• 17:11
  improve.
• 17:12
  So
• 17:12
  shaming
• 17:13
  is
• 17:13
  a
• 17:14
  thing
• 17:14
  that
• 17:14
  inspires
• 17:15
  them
• 17:15
  to
• 17:15
  improve.
• 17:16
  That's
• 17:16
  what
• 17:16
  they
• 17:16
  believe.
• 17:17
  That's
• 17:18
  what
• 17:18
  she's
• 17:18
  saying.
• 17:19
  She's
• 17:19
  not
• 17:19
  doing
• 17:19
  it
• 17:19
  to
• 17:20
  be
• 17:20
  mean.
• 17:20
  Yeah.
• 17:20
  It's
• 17:21
  interesting.
• 17:21
  It
• 17:21
  kind
• 17:21
  of
• 17:21
  reminds
• 17:22
  me
• 17:23
  of
• 17:24
  conservatory
• 17:25
  where
• 17:25
  there
• 17:25
  was
• 17:26
  a
• 17:26
  lot
• 17:26
  of
• 17:26
  rote
• 17:27
  repetition.
• 17:29
  And
• 17:29
  there
• 17:30
  is
• 17:30
  something
• 17:30
  to
• 17:30
  that
• 17:31
  because
• 17:31
  it
• 17:31
  creates
• 17:32
  a
• 17:32
  muscle
• 17:32
  memory.
• 17:33
  It
• 17:33
  creates
• 17:33
  a
• 17:34
  memory
• 17:34
  in
• 17:34
  a
• 17:34
  deeper
• 17:35
  part
• 17:35
  of
• 17:35
  your
• 17:35
  mind
• 17:35
  and
• 17:36
  in
• 17:36
  your
• 17:36
  body.
• 17:37
  And
• 17:38
  also.
• 17:38
  Yeah,
• 17:38
  I
• 17:39
  mean,
• 17:39
  it's
• 17:39
  like
• 17:39
  if
• 17:39
  you
• 17:40
  want
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  get
• 17:40
  better,
• 17:40
  you
• 17:41
  need
• 17:41
  a
• 17:42
  real
• 17:42
  perspective
• 17:43
  on
• 17:43
  where
• 17:44
  you
• 17:44
  are,
• 17:45
  like
• 17:45
  what
• 17:45
  your
• 17:45
  starting
• 17:46
  point
• 17:46
  is.
• 17:47
  So
• 17:48
  it's
• 17:48
  interesting.
• 17:49
  The
• 17:49
  question
• 17:49
  is
• 17:49
  like,
• 17:50
  can
• 17:50
  a
• 17:50
  young
• 17:50
  child
• 17:51
  handle
• 17:51
  that?
• 17:52
  Right.
• 17:52
  You
• 17:52
  know,
• 17:54
  does
• 17:54
  your
• 17:55
  child
• 17:55
  have
• 17:55
  adhd?
• 17:56
  Medication
• 17:57
  might
• 17:57
  not
• 17:57
  be
• 17:57
  the
• 17:57
  only
• 17:58
  answer.
• 17:58
  At
• 17:59
  Habit
• 17:59
  Coach,
• 17:59
  our
• 17:59
  coaches
• 18:00
  work
• 18:00
  one
• 18:00
  on
• 18:00
  one
• 18:01
  to
• 18:01
  help
• 18:01
  kids
• 18:01
  stop
• 18:02
  procrastinating,
• 18:03
  manage
• 18:03
  their
• 18:03
  time,
• 18:04
  control
• 18:04
  distractions,
• 18:05
  get
• 18:05
  organized,
• 18:06
  learn
• 18:06
  to
• 18:06
  plan,
• 18:07
  build
• 18:07
  study
• 18:08
  skills,
• 18:08
  stop
• 18:09
  losing
• 18:09
  things,
• 18:09
  limit
• 18:10
  screen
• 18:10
  time,
• 18:11
  and
• 18:11
  handle
• 18:11
  their
• 18:11
  emotions
• 18:12
  with
• 18:12
  more
• 18:12
  control.
• 18:13
  We
• 18:13
  do
• 18:13
  this
• 18:14
  by
• 18:14
  helping
• 18:14
  kids
• 18:14
  build
• 18:15
  new
• 18:15
  habits
• 18:15
  that
• 18:16
  take
• 18:16
  the
• 18:16
  place
• 18:16
  of
• 18:16
  old
• 18:17
  counterproductive
• 18:17
  behavior
• 18:18
  patterns.
• 18:19
  Research
• 18:19
  shows
• 18:20
  that
• 18:20
  coaching
• 18:20
  kids
• 18:21
  really
• 18:21
  works.
• 18:21
  And
• 18:22
  the
• 18:22
  Habit
• 18:22
  Coach
• 18:22
  system
• 18:23
  of
• 18:23
  weekly
• 18:23
  coaching
• 18:24
  Check
• 18:24
  ins
• 18:24
  and
• 18:24
  parent
• 18:25
  meetings
• 18:25
  is
• 18:25
  the
• 18:26
  most
• 18:26
  effective
• 18:26
  model
• 18:26
  out
• 18:27
  there.
• 18:27
  You
• 18:28
  can
• 18:28
  get
• 18:28
  started
• 18:28
  for
• 18:28
  less
• 18:29
  than
• 18:29
  $10
• 18:29
  a
• 18:30
  month.
• 18:30
  Don't
• 18:30
  go
• 18:31
  another
• 18:31
  day
• 18:31
  without
• 18:31
  help.
• 18:32
  The
• 18:32
  longer
• 18:33
  you
• 18:33
  wait,
• 18:33
  the
• 18:33
  tougher
• 18:34
  those
• 18:34
  old
• 18:34
  negative
• 18:35
  habits
• 18:35
  take
• 18:35
  to
• 18:36
  fix.
• 18:36
  Start
• 18:36
  now@habitcoach.com
• 18:39
  well,
• 18:39
  but
• 18:39
  I
• 18:39
  suppose
• 18:40
  if
• 18:40
  all
• 18:40
  the
• 18:40
  kids
• 18:40
  around
• 18:41
  you
• 18:41
  are
• 18:41
  brought
• 18:42
  up
• 18:42
  that
• 18:42
  way
• 18:42
  and
• 18:43
  you
• 18:43
  see
• 18:43
  that's
• 18:43
  how
• 18:44
  parents
• 18:44
  are
• 18:44
  with
• 18:44
  their
• 18:45
  kids,
• 18:45
  maybe
• 18:46
  you
• 18:46
  just
• 18:47
  think,
• 18:47
  well,
• 18:47
  that's
• 18:47
  just.
• 18:47
  It's
• 18:48
  the
• 18:48
  culture,
• 18:48
  it's
• 18:48
  the
• 18:48
  way
• 18:49
  it
• 18:49
  is.
• 18:49
  And
• 18:49
  maybe
• 18:49
  that's
• 18:50
  what's
• 18:50
  so
• 18:50
  diffic
• 18:51
  about
• 18:51
  implementing
• 18:52
  this
• 18:52
  kind
• 18:52
  of
• 18:52
  parenting
• 18:53
  in
• 18:53
  the
• 18:54
  United
• 18:54
  States.
• 18:54
  Because
• 18:55
  it
• 18:55
  really
• 18:55
  goes
• 18:56
  so
• 18:56
  against
• 18:57
  what
• 18:57
  so
• 18:58
  many
• 18:58
  parents
• 18:58
  here
• 18:59
  believe.
• 19:00
  Depending
• 19:01
  on
• 19:01
  like
• 19:01
  the
• 19:01
  community
• 19:01
  in
• 19:02
  which
• 19:02
  you
• 19:02
  are
• 19:02
  raising
• 19:02
  your
• 19:03
  children.
• 19:03
  Yeah,
• 19:04
  yeah,
• 19:04
  I
• 19:05
  think
• 19:05
  you're
• 19:05
  right.
• 19:05
  I
• 19:05
  think
• 19:06
  it,
• 19:06
  it
• 19:06
  was
• 19:07
  hard
• 19:07
  for
• 19:07
  her.
• 19:08
  Like
• 19:08
  she's
• 19:08
  battling
• 19:09
  perception
• 19:09
  while
• 19:10
  also
• 19:10
  trying
• 19:10
  to
• 19:10
  raise
• 19:11
  her
• 19:11
  children,
• 19:11
  which
• 19:12
  like,
• 19:12
  must
• 19:12
  have
• 19:12
  been
• 19:14
  psychologically
• 19:15
  complex.
• 19:15
  She
• 19:15
  does
• 19:16
  seem
• 19:16
  to
• 19:16
  write
• 19:16
  it
• 19:16
  off
• 19:17
  a
• 19:17
  lot
• 19:17
  in
• 19:17
  the
• 19:17
  book
• 19:17
  where
• 19:18
  she's
• 19:18
  like,
• 19:18
  whatever,
• 19:18
  they
• 19:19
  just
• 19:19
  don't
• 19:19
  get
• 19:19
  it.
• 19:19
  But
• 19:20
  I
• 19:20
  imagine
• 19:20
  that
• 19:20
  was
• 19:20
  like
• 19:21
  hard
• 19:22
  to
• 19:22
  feel
• 19:22
  judged
• 19:23
  like
• 19:23
  that.
• 19:24
  Yeah,
• 19:24
  I
• 19:24
  mean,
• 19:25
  in
• 19:25
  fact,
• 19:25
  you
• 19:25
  just
• 19:25
  made
• 19:26
  me
• 19:26
  think
• 19:26
  of
• 19:26
  something
• 19:26
  in
• 19:27
  the
• 19:27
  book,
• 19:27
  which
• 19:27
  I.
• 19:29
  It's
• 19:29
  crazy
• 19:29
  that
• 19:29
  you
• 19:30
  can
• 19:30
  just
• 19:30
  pick
• 19:30
  up
• 19:30
  the
• 19:30
  book
• 19:30
  and
• 19:30
  turn
• 19:30
  to
• 19:31
  a
• 19:31
  page
• 19:31
  and
• 19:31
  find
• 19:32
  what
• 19:32
  you're
• 19:32
  looking
• 19:32
  for.
• 19:33
  Cause
• 19:33
  I'm
• 19:33
  so
• 19:34
  organized.
• 19:34
  I'm
• 19:34
  actually
• 19:35
  not.
• 19:35
  But
• 19:35
  I.
• 19:36
  No,
• 19:37
  I
• 19:37
  just
• 19:37
  reread
• 19:37
  the
• 19:37
  book
• 19:38
  last
• 19:39
  night
• 19:39
  before
• 19:39
  we
• 19:40
  came.
• 19:40
  That's
• 19:41
  another
• 19:41
  thing
• 19:41
  about
• 19:41
  this
• 19:41
  book.
• 19:42
  180,
• 19:43
  200
• 19:43
  pages.
• 19:44
  Right.
• 19:44
  It's
• 19:44
  so
• 19:44
  easy.
• 19:45
  A
• 19:45
  reasonable
• 19:46
  length.
• 19:46
  Authors
• 19:47
  take
• 19:48
  note.
• 19:48
  It
• 19:49
  really
• 19:49
  is.
• 19:49
  It's
• 19:50
  not
• 19:50
  too
• 19:50
  long
• 19:50
  and
• 19:51
  it's
• 19:51
  just
• 19:51
  so
• 19:51
  readable.
• 19:52
  Reasonably
• 19:52
  sized
• 19:53
  font,
• 19:54
  big
• 19:55
  lines
• 19:55
  between
• 19:55
  the
• 19:56
  lines.
• 19:56
  You
• 19:57
  know,
• 19:57
  it's
• 19:57
  great.
• 19:57
  Full
• 19:58
  blank
• 19:58
  pages
• 19:59
  between
• 19:59
  chapters.
• 20:00
  Yes,
• 20:00
  we
• 20:00
  love
• 20:01
  this.
• 20:01
  Okay,
• 20:02
  so.
• 20:02
  But
• 20:03
  this
• 20:03
  is
• 20:03
  interesting.
• 20:04
  She
• 20:04
  talks
• 20:04
  about
• 20:04
  how
• 20:05
  being
• 20:05
  a
• 20:05
  Chinese
• 20:06
  parent
• 20:06
  is
• 20:07
  incredibly
• 20:08
  lonely.
• 20:08
  At
• 20:09
  least
• 20:09
  if
• 20:09
  you're
• 20:09
  trying
• 20:09
  to
• 20:10
  do
• 20:10
  it
• 20:10
  in
• 20:10
  the
• 20:10
  west
• 20:12
  where
• 20:12
  you
• 20:12
  are
• 20:12
  on
• 20:13
  your
• 20:13
  own,
• 20:14
  she
• 20:14
  said.
• 20:14
  For
• 20:14
  example,
• 20:15
  when
• 20:15
  Sophia
• 20:16
  and
• 20:16
  Lulu
• 20:16
  were
• 20:17
  little,
• 20:17
  what
• 20:17
  I
• 20:17
  used
• 20:18
  to
• 20:18
  dread
• 20:19
  most
• 20:19
  was
• 20:19
  when
• 20:19
  other
• 20:20
  parents
• 20:20
  invited
• 20:21
  one
• 20:21
  of
• 20:21
  them
• 20:21
  over
• 20:21
  for
• 20:22
  a
• 20:22
  play
• 20:22
  date.
• 20:24
  Why,
• 20:24
  why,
• 20:25
  why
• 20:25
  this
• 20:26
  terrible
• 20:26
  Western
• 20:27
  institution?
• 20:28
  See,
• 20:28
  she's
• 20:29
  funny.
• 20:29
  Yeah,
• 20:29
  she
• 20:29
  is
• 20:29
  funny.
• 20:30
  She's
• 20:30
  very
• 20:30
  funny.
• 20:30
  I
• 20:31
  tried
• 20:31
  telling
• 20:31
  the
• 20:31
  truth
• 20:32
  once,
• 20:32
  explaining
• 20:33
  to
• 20:33
  another
• 20:33
  mother
• 20:33
  that
• 20:34
  Lulu
• 20:34
  had
• 20:34
  no
• 20:35
  free
• 20:35
  time
• 20:35
  because
• 20:35
  she
• 20:35
  had
• 20:36
  to
• 20:36
  practice
• 20:36
  violin.
• 20:37
  But
• 20:37
  the
• 20:37
  mother
• 20:38
  couldn't
• 20:38
  absorb
• 20:39
  this.
• 20:39
  I
• 20:39
  had
• 20:39
  to
• 20:40
  resort
• 20:40
  to
• 20:40
  the
• 20:40
  kinds
• 20:41
  of
• 20:41
  excuses
• 20:41
  that
• 20:42
  Westerners
• 20:42
  find
• 20:43
  valid
• 20:43
  eye
• 20:44
  appointments,
• 20:44
  physical
• 20:45
  therapy,
• 20:46
  community
• 20:46
  service.
• 20:48
  At
• 20:48
  a
• 20:48
  certain
• 20:48
  point,
• 20:49
  the
• 20:49
  other
• 20:49
  mother
• 20:49
  got
• 20:49
  a
• 20:50
  hurtful
• 20:50
  look
• 20:50
  on
• 20:50
  her
• 20:51
  face
• 20:51
  and
• 20:51
  began
• 20:51
  treating
• 20:52
  me
• 20:52
  Icily,
• 20:53
  as
• 20:53
  if
• 20:54
  I
• 20:54
  thought
• 20:54
  Lulu
• 20:55
  was
• 20:55
  too
• 20:55
  good
• 20:55
  for
• 20:55
  her
• 20:56
  daughter.
• 20:56
  It
• 20:57
  really
• 20:57
  was
• 20:57
  a
• 20:57
  clash
• 20:58
  of
• 20:58
  worldviews.
• 20:59
  And
• 20:59
  she
• 21:00
  says
• 21:00
  Chinese
• 21:01
  parenting
• 21:01
  is
• 21:01
  one
• 21:01
  of
• 21:02
  the
• 21:02
  most
• 21:02
  difficult
• 21:02
  things
• 21:03
  I
• 21:03
  can
• 21:03
  think
• 21:03
  of.
• 21:04
  You
• 21:04
  have
• 21:04
  to
• 21:04
  be
• 21:05
  hated
• 21:05
  sometimes
• 21:06
  by
• 21:06
  someone
• 21:07
  you
• 21:07
  love
• 21:08
  and
• 21:08
  who.
• 21:08
  Or
• 21:08
  by
• 21:09
  strangers
• 21:10
  who
• 21:10
  don't
• 21:10
  understand
• 21:10
  well,
• 21:10
  or
• 21:11
  mothers
• 21:11
  who
• 21:11
  are
• 21:11
  judging
• 21:11
  you
• 21:12
  and
• 21:12
  who
• 21:12
  hopefully
• 21:13
  love
• 21:13
  you.
• 21:13
  And
• 21:14
  there's
• 21:14
  no
• 21:14
  letting
• 21:14
  up,
• 21:15
  no
• 21:15
  point
• 21:15
  at
• 21:15
  which
• 21:16
  it
• 21:16
  suddenly
• 21:16
  becomes
• 21:17
  easy.
• 21:17
  Just
• 21:18
  the
• 21:18
  opposite.
• 21:19
  Chinese
• 21:19
  parenting,
• 21:20
  if
• 21:20
  you're
• 21:20
  trying
• 21:20
  to
• 21:20
  do
• 21:21
  it
• 21:21
  in
• 21:21
  America,
• 21:22
  where
• 21:22
  odds
• 21:22
  are
• 21:22
  against
• 21:23
  you,
• 21:23
  is
• 21:23
  a
• 21:24
  never
• 21:24
  ending
• 21:24
  uphill
• 21:25
  battle
• 21:26
  requiring
• 21:26
  a
• 21:26
  24,
• 21:27
  seven
• 21:27
  time
• 21:28
  commitment.
• 21:29
  And
• 21:29
  she
• 21:29
  commits.
• 21:30
  She
• 21:30
  did.
• 21:31
  I
• 21:31
  mean,
• 21:31
  she
• 21:31
  is,
• 21:32
  come
• 21:32
  hell
• 21:32
  or
• 21:32
  high
• 21:32
  water,
• 21:33
  committed
• 21:34
  to
• 21:34
  this
• 21:34
  method.
• 21:35
  She
• 21:35
  is.
• 21:35
  Yeah.
• 21:36
  And
• 21:36
  that
• 21:36
  said,
• 21:37
  like,
• 21:37
  the
• 21:37
  results
• 21:38
  are
• 21:38
  there.
• 21:39
  Her
• 21:39
  children
• 21:39
  are
• 21:39
  both
• 21:40
  musical
• 21:40
  prodigies.
• 21:41
  They're
• 21:41
  incredibly
• 21:42
  high
• 21:42
  achieving.
• 21:43
  Like
• 21:43
  for
• 21:44
  all
• 21:44
  of
• 21:45
  you
• 21:45
  know
• 21:46
  how
• 21:46
  difficult
• 21:46
  it
• 21:46
  sounds,
• 21:48
  she
• 21:48
  achieved
• 21:48
  her
• 21:49
  goal.
• 21:49
  Sounds
• 21:50
  like
• 21:50
  she's
• 21:50
  got
• 21:50
  great
• 21:50
  kids.
• 21:50
  Her
• 21:51
  kids,
• 21:51
  I
• 21:51
  think
• 21:52
  they.
• 21:52
  And
• 21:52
  great
• 21:53
  by
• 21:53
  the
• 21:53
  standard
• 21:53
  of
• 21:53
  very
• 21:54
  high
• 21:54
  achieving.
• 21:55
  I
• 21:55
  have
• 21:55
  no
• 21:55
  idea
• 21:56
  what
• 21:56
  they're
• 21:56
  like,
• 21:56
  whether
• 21:57
  they
• 21:57
  are
• 21:57
  well
• 21:57
  adjusted
• 21:58
  or
• 21:58
  not,
• 21:58
  but
• 21:58
  I,
• 21:59
  but
• 21:59
  man,
• 21:59
  are
• 21:59
  they
• 21:59
  accomplished.
• 22:00
  Well,
• 22:00
  they,
• 22:01
  well,
• 22:02
  they
• 22:02
  support,
• 22:03
  they
• 22:03
  say
• 22:03
  nice
• 22:04
  things
• 22:04
  about
• 22:05
  their
• 22:05
  mom
• 22:07
  and
• 22:07
  how
• 22:08
  it
• 22:08
  all
• 22:08
  went
• 22:08
  for
• 22:08
  them.
• 22:09
  Which
• 22:09
  is
• 22:09
  also
• 22:09
  interesting
• 22:10
  because
• 22:10
  I
• 22:10
  feel
• 22:11
  like
• 22:11
  in
• 22:11
  western
• 22:12
  culture,
• 22:12
  half
• 22:13
  the
• 22:13
  time
• 22:13
  people
• 22:13
  don't
• 22:14
  have
• 22:14
  good
• 22:14
  relationships
• 22:15
  with
• 22:15
  their
• 22:15
  parents
• 22:15
  when
• 22:16
  all
• 22:16
  is
• 22:16
  said
• 22:16
  and
• 22:16
  done.
• 22:17
  So,
• 22:17
  like,
• 22:18
  how
• 22:18
  do
• 22:18
  they
• 22:18
  accomplish
• 22:19
  this
• 22:20
  and
• 22:21
  you
• 22:21
  know,
• 22:22
  have
• 22:22
  such
• 22:22
  a
• 22:22
  tough
• 22:23
  upbringing?
• 22:24
  Well,
• 22:24
  and
• 22:25
  what
• 22:25
  she.
• 22:25
  I
• 22:25
  think
• 22:26
  it's
• 22:26
  just
• 22:26
  a
• 22:26
  cultural
• 22:26
  thing
• 22:27
  because
• 22:27
  she
• 22:27
  said
• 22:28
  she
• 22:28
  was
• 22:28
  brought
• 22:28
  up
• 22:29
  this
• 22:29
  way
• 22:29
  and
• 22:30
  she
• 22:30
  says,
• 22:30
  I
• 22:31
  didn't
• 22:31
  have
• 22:31
  a
• 22:31
  horrible
• 22:32
  childhood.
• 22:34
  I
• 22:34
  found
• 22:34
  strength
• 22:35
  and
• 22:35
  confidence
• 22:36
  in
• 22:36
  this
• 22:36
  upbringing,
• 22:37
  as
• 22:37
  hard
• 22:37
  as
• 22:38
  it
• 22:38
  was.
• 22:39
  She
• 22:39
  said
• 22:39
  maybe
• 22:40
  it
• 22:40
  was
• 22:40
  Stockholm
• 22:41
  syndrome,
• 22:42
  but
• 22:42
  she
• 22:42
  sure,
• 22:43
  Chinese
• 22:44
  children
• 22:44
  are
• 22:44
  happier
• 22:44
  than
• 22:45
  Western
• 22:45
  children.
• 22:45
  I
• 22:46
  don't
• 22:46
  know
• 22:46
  if
• 22:46
  that's
• 22:46
  true.
• 22:46
  Yeah.
• 22:47
  But
• 22:47
  even
• 22:47
  I
• 22:48
  need
• 22:48
  to
• 22:48
  see
• 22:48
  some
• 22:48
  stats.
• 22:49
  Yeah.
• 22:49
  Cite
• 22:49
  some
• 22:50
  studies.
• 22:51
  Even
• 22:52
  with
• 22:52
  their,
• 22:52
  their
• 22:53
  brutal
• 22:53
  upbringing,
• 22:54
  they
• 22:54
  are
• 22:54
  devoted
• 22:54
  to
• 22:54
  their
• 22:55
  parents
• 22:55
  and
• 22:55
  grateful
• 22:56
  to
• 22:56
  them.
• 22:56
  And
• 22:56
  that,
• 22:57
  that
• 22:57
  is
• 22:57
  a,
• 22:57
  you
• 22:58
  know,
• 22:58
  I
• 22:58
  think
• 22:58
  cultural
• 22:59
  thing.
• 23:01
  I
• 23:01
  mean
• 23:02
  there's,
• 23:02
  there's
• 23:03
  so
• 23:03
  many
• 23:03
  stories
• 23:04
  in
• 23:04
  this
• 23:04
  book.
• 23:06
  You
• 23:06
  know,
• 23:07
  the
• 23:07
  one
• 23:07
  story
• 23:08
  that
• 23:08
  really
• 23:08
  jumped
• 23:09
  out
• 23:09
  at
• 23:09
  me
• 23:09
  was
• 23:10
  that
• 23:10
  birthday
• 23:10
  card
• 23:11
  story.
• 23:11
  Do
• 23:11
  you
• 23:11
  remember
• 23:11
  that?
• 23:12
  Yeah.
• 23:12
  Okay.
• 23:13
  So
• 23:13
  she
• 23:13
  tells
• 23:14
  the
• 23:14
  story
• 23:14
  of
• 23:14
  the
• 23:14
  girls
• 23:15
  were
• 23:15
  7
• 23:15
  and
• 23:15
  4
• 23:16
  and
• 23:16
  her
• 23:17
  4
• 23:17
  year
• 23:17
  old
• 23:17
  gave
• 23:17
  her
• 23:17
  a
• 23:18
  birthday
• 23:18
  card.
• 23:19
  It
• 23:19
  was
• 23:19
  a
• 23:19
  piece
• 23:20
  of
• 23:20
  paper
• 23:20
  folded
• 23:21
  in
• 23:21
  half
• 23:21
  crookedly
• 23:22
  with
• 23:22
  a
• 23:22
  happy
• 23:22
  face
• 23:23
  inside
• 23:23
  that
• 23:23
  said,
• 23:24
  happy
• 23:24
  birthday,
• 23:25
  mommy.
• 23:25
  Love
• 23:26
  Lulu.
• 23:27
  And
• 23:27
  she
• 23:27
  responded
• 23:28
  like
• 23:28
  this.
• 23:28
  She
• 23:28
  said,
• 23:29
  I
• 23:29
  grabbed
• 23:29
  the
• 23:29
  card,
• 23:30
  I
• 23:30
  turned
• 23:30
  it
• 23:30
  over,
• 23:30
  pulled
• 23:31
  out
• 23:31
  a
• 23:31
  pen
• 23:31
  and
• 23:32
  scrawled,
• 23:32
  happy
• 23:33
  birthday,
• 23:33
  Lulu.
• 23:34
  Whoopee.
• 23:35
  I
• 23:35
  added
• 23:35
  A
• 23:36
  big
• 23:36
  sour
• 23:36
  face.
• 23:37
  What
• 23:37
  if
• 23:37
  I
• 23:38
  gave
• 23:38
  you
• 23:38
  this
• 23:38
  for
• 23:39
  your
• 23:39
  birthday,
• 23:39
  Lulu?
• 23:40
  Would
• 23:40
  you
• 23:40
  like
• 23:41
  that?
• 23:41
  But
• 23:41
  I
• 23:42
  would
• 23:42
  never
• 23:42
  do
• 23:42
  that.
• 23:42
  No,
• 23:43
  I
• 23:43
  would
• 23:43
  get
• 23:43
  you
• 23:43
  magicians
• 23:44
  and
• 23:44
  giant
• 23:44
  slides
• 23:45
  that
• 23:45
  cost
• 23:45
  hundreds
• 23:46
  of
• 23:46
  dollars.
• 23:47
  I
• 23:47
  gave
• 23:47
  you
• 23:47
  huge
• 23:48
  ice
• 23:48
  cream
• 23:48
  cakes
• 23:49
  shaped
• 23:49
  like
• 23:49
  penguins
• 23:50
  and
• 23:50
  spent
• 23:50
  half
• 23:50
  my
• 23:51
  salary
• 23:51
  on
• 23:51
  stupid
• 23:52
  sticker
• 23:52
  and
• 23:53
  eraser
• 23:53
  party
• 23:54
  favors
• 23:54
  that
• 23:54
  everyone
• 23:55
  just
• 23:55
  threw
• 23:55
  away.
• 23:56
  I
• 23:56
  worked
• 23:56
  so
• 23:56
  hard
• 23:57
  to
• 23:57
  give
• 23:57
  you
• 23:57
  good
• 23:57
  birthdays.
• 23:58
  I
• 23:58
  deserve
• 23:58
  better
• 23:59
  than
• 23:59
  this.
• 24:00
  So
• 24:00
  I
• 24:00
  reject
• 24:01
  this
• 24:01
  card.
• 24:02
  Sophie
• 24:03
  gave
• 24:03
  her
• 24:03
  a
• 24:03
  similar
• 24:04
  card,
• 24:04
  and
• 24:04
  she's
• 24:05
  like,
• 24:05
  here,
• 24:05
  Mommy.
• 24:07
  And
• 24:09
  Amy
• 24:09
  said,
• 24:09
  that's
• 24:10
  nice,
• 24:10
  but
• 24:10
  not
• 24:10
  good
• 24:11
  enough
• 24:11
  either.
• 24:12
  And
• 24:13
  I
• 24:13
  mean,
• 24:13
  important
• 24:13
  lesson.
• 24:14
  Well,
• 24:14
  yeah.
• 24:15
  And
• 24:15
  Sophie
• 24:15
  said,
• 24:15
  I
• 24:16
  wanted
• 24:16
  to
• 24:16
  get
• 24:16
  you
• 24:16
  something
• 24:17
  better,
• 24:17
  but
• 24:17
  I
• 24:17
  had
• 24:17
  to
• 24:17
  practice
• 24:18
  piano.
• 24:19
  Now,
• 24:19
  listen,
• 24:20
  fair
• 24:20
  enough.
• 24:21
  When
• 24:21
  would
• 24:21
  she
• 24:21
  have
• 24:22
  had
• 24:22
  the
• 24:22
  time?
• 24:22
  I
• 24:23
  didn't
• 24:23
  have
• 24:23
  the
• 24:23
  time.
• 24:23
  But
• 24:24
  anyway,
• 24:24
  mom
• 24:24
  said
• 24:25
  you
• 24:25
  just
• 24:25
  should
• 24:25
  have
• 24:25
  gotten
• 24:26
  up
• 24:26
  earlier.
• 24:26
  And
• 24:27
  she
• 24:27
  said
• 24:27
  that
• 24:27
  that
• 24:27
  night
• 24:28
  the
• 24:28
  kids
• 24:28
  made
• 24:30
  better
• 24:30
  cards
• 24:30
  for
• 24:31
  the
• 24:31
  mother.
• 24:31
  And
• 24:32
  so
• 24:32
  she
• 24:32
  said
• 24:32
  she
• 24:32
  still
• 24:33
  has
• 24:33
  those
• 24:33
  better
• 24:34
  cards
• 24:34
  to
• 24:34
  this
• 24:34
  day.
• 24:35
  Listen,
• 24:35
  strive
• 24:35
  for
• 24:35
  excellence
• 24:36
  in
• 24:36
  every
• 24:37
  area,
• 24:37
  I
• 24:37
  think
• 24:38
  is
• 24:38
  the
• 24:38
  general,
• 24:40
  you
• 24:40
  know,
• 24:41
  thought
• 24:41
  process.
• 24:42
  That's
• 24:42
  right.
• 24:42
  And,
• 24:42
  you
• 24:43
  know,
• 24:43
  and
• 24:43
  this
• 24:44
  story,
• 24:44
  though,
• 24:44
  made
• 24:45
  me
• 24:45
  think,
• 24:45
  gosh,
• 24:46
  maybe
• 24:46
  I
• 24:46
  should
• 24:47
  have
• 24:47
  had
• 24:47
  higher
• 24:47
  standards
• 24:48
  for
• 24:48
  my
• 24:48
  kids.
• 24:49
  I
• 24:49
  mean,
• 24:49
  maybe
• 24:50
  you
• 24:50
  should
• 24:50
  have
• 24:51
  maybe.
• 24:51
  I'm
• 24:51
  sure.
• 24:52
  Sounds
• 24:52
  like
• 24:52
  it.
• 24:52
  I'd
• 24:53
  know
• 24:53
  how
• 24:53
  to
• 24:53
  play
• 24:53
  piano.
• 24:54
  Yeah,
• 24:54
  exactly.
• 24:55
  I
• 24:55
  mean,
• 24:55
  maybe.
• 24:56
  I
• 24:56
  mean,
• 24:56
  if
• 24:57
  I
• 24:57
  had
• 24:57
  pushed
• 24:57
  you
• 24:57
  a
• 24:57
  little
• 24:58
  harder,
• 24:59
  you
• 24:59
  would
• 24:59
  have
• 24:59
  accomplished
• 25:00
  even
• 25:00
  more.
• 25:01
  I
• 25:01
  wonder,
• 25:01
  though,
• 25:02
  if
• 25:02
  there's
• 25:02
  like
• 25:02
  a
• 25:03
  balance,
• 25:03
  you
• 25:04
  know,
• 25:04
  like
• 25:04
  a
• 25:05
  midpoint,
• 25:05
  where
• 25:05
  it's
• 25:06
  like,
• 25:06
  push,
• 25:06
  but
• 25:07
  I
• 25:07
  don't
• 25:08
  know,
• 25:08
  maybe
• 25:08
  be
• 25:09
  a
• 25:09
  little
• 25:09
  more
• 25:10
  reasonable.
• 25:10
  Oh,
• 25:11
  yeah,
• 25:11
  I
• 25:12
  would
• 25:12
  say.
• 25:12
  Because
• 25:13
  I
• 25:13
  would
• 25:13
  say
• 25:13
  some
• 25:13
  of
• 25:13
  the
• 25:13
  stories
• 25:14
  in
• 25:14
  this
• 25:14
  book
• 25:16
  Western
• 25:16
  parents
• 25:16
  would
• 25:17
  interpret
• 25:17
  as
• 25:18
  abusive.
• 25:19
  Yeah,
• 25:20
  but
• 25:22
  that's
• 25:23
  the
• 25:23
  Western
• 25:23
  culture.
• 25:24
  The
• 25:24
  Chinese
• 25:25
  culture,
• 25:25
  I
• 25:26
  don't
• 25:26
  think
• 25:26
  at
• 25:26
  all
• 25:27
  would
• 25:27
  think
• 25:27
  that.
• 25:27
  Yeah,
• 25:28
  this
• 25:28
  also
• 25:28
  kind
• 25:28
  of
• 25:28
  gives
• 25:29
  me,
• 25:29
  not
• 25:29
  really
• 25:30
  flashbacks,
• 25:30
  but,
• 25:30
  like,
• 25:31
  it
• 25:31
  reminds
• 25:31
  me
• 25:32
  of
• 25:32
  Hunt
• 25:32
  Gather
• 25:32
  Parent
• 25:33
  in
• 25:33
  that,
• 25:33
  like,
• 25:34
  children
• 25:35
  in
• 25:36
  communities
• 25:37
  that
• 25:37
  are
• 25:37
  indigenous
• 25:38
  have
• 25:38
  more
• 25:38
  responsibility
• 25:39
  because
• 25:40
  everybody
• 25:40
  has
• 25:41
  more
• 25:41
  responsibility.
• 25:42
  The
• 25:42
  way
• 25:42
  resources
• 25:43
  are
• 25:43
  acquired
• 25:44
  is
• 25:44
  different.
• 25:44
  And,
• 25:45
  like,
• 25:45
  everybody
• 25:45
  kind
• 25:46
  of
• 25:46
  needs
• 25:46
  to
• 25:46
  participate
• 25:47
  and
• 25:47
  everybody
• 25:48
  needs
• 25:48
  to
• 25:48
  learn
• 25:48
  how
• 25:49
  to
• 25:49
  do
• 25:49
  that
• 25:49
  as
• 25:49
  early
• 25:50
  as
• 25:50
  possible.
• 25:51
  So
• 25:51
  the
• 25:52
  idea
• 25:52
  of
• 25:52
  a
• 25:52
  childhood
• 25:53
  is
• 25:53
  very
• 25:53
  different.
• 25:55
  One
• 25:55
  is
• 25:55
  like,
• 25:56
  setting
• 25:56
  you
• 25:56
  up
• 25:56
  for
• 25:57
  one
• 25:57
  kind
• 25:57
  of
• 25:57
  life
• 25:58
  or
• 25:58
  another
• 25:59
  kind
• 25:59
  of
• 25:59
  life.
• 26:00
  And
• 26:00
  I
• 26:00
  think
• 26:00
  things
• 26:00
  are
• 26:01
  just
• 26:01
  cushier
• 26:01
  here.
• 26:02
  Yes,
• 26:02
  you
• 26:03
  know,
• 26:03
  that's
• 26:03
  right.
• 26:03
  And,
• 26:04
  like,
• 26:05
  the
• 26:05
  value
• 26:06
  system
• 26:06
  for
• 26:07
  the
• 26:07
  Chinese
• 26:07
  parenting
• 26:08
  style
• 26:08
  is
• 26:09
  that
• 26:09
  you
• 26:10
  want
• 26:10
  your
• 26:10
  children
• 26:10
  to
• 26:11
  achieve
• 26:11
  as
• 26:11
  much
• 26:12
  as
• 26:12
  possible
• 26:13
  because
• 26:13
  there
• 26:14
  seems
• 26:14
  to
• 26:14
  be
• 26:14
  so
• 26:15
  little
• 26:15
  time.
• 26:15
  Yeah,
• 26:16
  we've
• 26:16
  got.
• 26:16
  Well,
• 26:16
  and
• 26:16
  I've
• 26:17
  got
• 26:17
  to
• 26:17
  get
• 26:17
  their
• 26:17
  habits
• 26:18
  ingrained
• 26:19
  now,
• 26:19
  which
• 26:19
  is
• 26:20
  Smart.
• 26:21
  Honestly,
• 26:21
  instilling
• 26:22
  habits
• 26:23
  in
• 26:23
  children
• 26:24
  is
• 26:24
  much
• 26:25
  easier
• 26:25
  than
• 26:26
  trying
• 26:26
  to
• 26:27
  undo
• 26:27
  bad
• 26:28
  habits
• 26:28
  as
• 26:28
  an
• 26:29
  adult
• 26:29
  and
• 26:29
  re.
• 26:30
  Establish
• 26:30
  healthier
• 26:31
  habits.
• 26:31
  That's
• 26:32
  right.
• 26:32
  That's
• 26:32
  right.
• 26:32
  So
• 26:33
  that
• 26:33
  said,
• 26:33
  am
• 26:33
  I
• 26:34
  capable
• 26:34
  of
• 26:34
  this
• 26:34
  style
• 26:34
  of
• 26:35
  parenting?
• 26:35
  No.
• 26:36
  I
• 26:36
  am
• 26:36
  terry
• 26:37
  cloth.
• 26:37
  Can
• 26:37
  you.
• 26:38
  Very
• 26:38
  soft.
• 26:39
  You
• 26:39
  could
• 26:39
  never
• 26:39
  do
• 26:40
  this,
• 26:40
  right?
• 26:41
  No,
• 26:41
  I.
• 26:41
  I
• 26:42
  couldn't.
• 26:42
  I
• 26:42
  would
• 26:43
  try,
• 26:44
  but.
• 26:44
  Yeah,
• 26:45
  no,
• 26:45
  I'm
• 26:45
  a
• 26:46
  marshmallow.
• 26:47
  I.
• 26:47
  I
• 26:47
  would
• 26:47
  be.
• 26:48
  And
• 26:48
  I
• 26:48
  was,
• 26:48
  too.
• 26:49
  That's
• 26:49
  the
• 26:49
  thing.
• 26:49
  I.
• 26:50
  I
• 26:50
  don't
• 26:50
  think
• 26:50
  I
• 26:50
  ever
• 26:50
  could
• 26:51
  have.
• 26:51
  I
• 26:51
  was
• 26:51
  like,
• 26:51
  whatever
• 26:52
  you
• 26:52
  did
• 26:52
  to
• 26:52
  me
• 26:52
  was
• 26:53
  adorable,
• 26:53
  cute,
• 26:54
  brilliant.
• 26:55
  I
• 26:55
  know
• 26:55
  my
• 26:55
  daughter
• 26:56
  can
• 26:56
  do
• 26:56
  no
• 26:56
  wrong.
• 26:57
  She,
• 26:57
  like,
• 26:58
  smacked
• 26:58
  me
• 26:58
  across
• 26:58
  the
• 26:59
  face
• 26:59
  the
• 26:59
  other
• 26:59
  day.
• 26:59
  I'm
• 26:59
  like,
• 27:00
  just
• 27:00
  asserting
• 27:01
  yourself.
• 27:01
  So
• 27:02
  cute.
• 27:02
  Yeah.
• 27:02
  This.
• 27:02
  You're
• 27:03
  in
• 27:03
  charge,
• 27:04
  early
• 27:05
  boss
• 27:05
  child.
• 27:06
  I
• 27:06
  know.
• 27:07
  These
• 27:08
  are
• 27:08
  good
• 27:08
  qualities.
• 27:09
  These
• 27:09
  are
• 27:09
  leadership
• 27:09
  qualities.
• 27:10
  I
• 27:10
  know.
• 27:11
  Oh,
• 27:11
  God,
• 27:11
  no.
• 27:12
  Well,
• 27:13
  anyway,
• 27:14
  just
• 27:14
  to
• 27:14
  sort
• 27:14
  of
• 27:15
  wrap
• 27:15
  up
• 27:15
  the
• 27:15
  book,
• 27:16
  the
• 27:16
  book,
• 27:17
  the
• 27:17
  rest
• 27:17
  of
• 27:17
  it
• 27:17
  gets
• 27:18
  into
• 27:18
  their
• 27:18
  musical
• 27:19
  careers.
• 27:19
  There's
• 27:20
  a
• 27:20
  lot
• 27:20
  about
• 27:20
  their
• 27:20
  musical
• 27:20
  careers
• 27:21
  which
• 27:21
  are
• 27:21
  incredible.
• 27:23
  Right.
• 27:24
  They
• 27:24
  worked
• 27:24
  hard
• 27:24
  at
• 27:25
  it
• 27:25
  and
• 27:25
  they
• 27:25
  had
• 27:26
  lots
• 27:26
  of,
• 27:27
  you
• 27:27
  know,
• 27:27
  accomplishment.
• 27:30
  And
• 27:30
  Sophie
• 27:30
  went,
• 27:31
  Sophia
• 27:31
  went
• 27:31
  along
• 27:32
  with.
• 27:32
  She
• 27:32
  was
• 27:32
  fine.
• 27:33
  She
• 27:33
  didn't
• 27:34
  argue
• 27:34
  too
• 27:34
  much.
• 27:35
  She
• 27:35
  practiced.
• 27:36
  She
• 27:36
  accepted
• 27:37
  her
• 27:37
  fate.
• 27:37
  She
• 27:38
  did.
• 27:38
  She
• 27:39
  just
• 27:39
  went
• 27:39
  for
• 27:39
  it.
• 27:39
  But
• 27:40
  Lulu
• 27:40
  rebelled,
• 27:41
  and
• 27:42
  during
• 27:42
  the
• 27:42
  rebellion,
• 27:43
  her
• 27:43
  mother
• 27:43
  called
• 27:43
  her
• 27:44
  a
• 27:44
  disgrace
• 27:44
  as
• 27:44
  a
• 27:45
  daughter
• 27:45
  and
• 27:45
  told
• 27:45
  her
• 27:46
  daughter
• 27:46
  that
• 27:46
  she
• 27:47
  was
• 27:47
  thinking
• 27:47
  of
• 27:47
  adopting
• 27:48
  a
• 27:48
  third
• 27:48
  child
• 27:48
  from
• 27:49
  China
• 27:49
  who
• 27:49
  would
• 27:50
  practice
• 27:50
  when
• 27:50
  she
• 27:51
  was
• 27:51
  told
• 27:51
  to
• 27:51
  practice.
• 27:52
  And
• 27:53
  during
• 27:53
  this
• 27:53
  time,
• 27:54
  Lulu
• 27:56
  asked
• 27:56
  for
• 27:56
  a
• 27:56
  haircut
• 27:58
  because
• 27:58
  she
• 27:58
  needed
• 27:58
  one,
• 27:58
  and
• 27:59
  her
• 27:59
  mom
• 27:59
  told
• 27:59
  her
• 28:00
  no,
• 28:00
  she
• 28:00
  couldn't
• 28:00
  have
• 28:00
  one
• 28:01
  because
• 28:01
  she
• 28:01
  had
• 28:01
  been
• 28:01
  rude
• 28:02
  and
• 28:02
  wouldn't
• 28:02
  play
• 28:03
  a
• 28:03
  Mendelssohn
• 28:03
  piece
• 28:04
  that
• 28:04
  she
• 28:04
  was
• 28:04
  supposed
• 28:04
  to
• 28:04
  play.
• 28:05
  So
• 28:06
  Lulu
• 28:06
  cut
• 28:06
  her
• 28:07
  own
• 28:07
  hair,
• 28:07
  and
• 28:08
  on
• 28:08
  one
• 28:08
  side
• 28:08
  it
• 28:09
  was
• 28:09
  very
• 28:09
  uneven,
• 28:10
  and
• 28:10
  on
• 28:10
  the
• 28:10
  other
• 28:11
  side,
• 28:11
  it
• 28:11
  was
• 28:11
  above
• 28:11
  her
• 28:11
  ear.
• 28:12
  I
• 28:12
  mean,
• 28:12
  it
• 28:12
  was
• 28:12
  just
• 28:12
  a
• 28:13
  mess.
• 28:13
  My
• 28:13
  worst
• 28:14
  nightmare.
• 28:15
  And
• 28:15
  this
• 28:15
  was
• 28:16
  kind
• 28:16
  of
• 28:16
  a
• 28:16
  turning
• 28:16
  point
• 28:17
  in
• 28:17
  their
• 28:17
  relationship.
• 28:18
  And
• 28:18
  in
• 28:19
  the
• 28:19
  end,
• 28:19
  Lulu
• 28:19
  insisted
• 28:20
  on
• 28:20
  giving
• 28:20
  up
• 28:21
  the
• 28:21
  violin
• 28:22
  in
• 28:23
  the
• 28:23
  intense
• 28:23
  way
• 28:23
  she
• 28:24
  had
• 28:24
  been
• 28:24
  doing
• 28:24
  it.
• 28:24
  Like,
• 28:25
  she
• 28:25
  might
• 28:25
  play
• 28:25
  it,
• 28:26
  but
• 28:26
  not
• 28:27
  the
• 28:27
  way
• 28:27
  she
• 28:27
  had
• 28:27
  been
• 28:28
  doing
• 28:28
  it.
• 28:28
  Not
• 28:28
  24,
• 28:29
  7,
• 28:29
  365.
• 28:30
  Right.
• 28:31
  And
• 28:31
  she
• 28:31
  took
• 28:32
  up
• 28:32
  tennis,
• 28:32
  and
• 28:33
  she
• 28:33
  wouldn't
• 28:33
  let
• 28:33
  her
• 28:33
  mother
• 28:34
  get
• 28:34
  involved
• 28:34
  in
• 28:34
  any
• 28:35
  way.
• 28:36
  And
• 28:37
  I
• 28:37
  thought
• 28:37
  the
• 28:38
  ending
• 28:38
  of
• 28:38
  the
• 28:38
  book
• 28:38
  was
• 28:38
  not
• 28:39
  done
• 28:39
  well,
• 28:40
  but
• 28:40
  as,
• 28:40
  like
• 28:41
  an
• 28:41
  author
• 28:41
  or
• 28:42
  as
• 28:42
  a
• 28:42
  reader
• 28:43
  as
• 28:43
  well,
• 28:44
  all
• 28:44
  she
• 28:45
  did
• 28:45
  was,
• 28:45
  you
• 28:45
  know,
• 28:46
  we
• 28:46
  find
• 28:46
  out
• 28:46
  at
• 28:47
  the
• 28:47
  end.
• 28:47
  It
• 28:47
  was
• 28:47
  kind
• 28:47
  of
• 28:48
  a
• 28:48
  summary.
• 28:49
  Amy
• 28:49
  changed
• 28:50
  her
• 28:50
  parenting
• 28:50
  style
• 28:50
  with
• 28:51
  Lulu.
• 28:52
  She
• 28:52
  said,
• 28:52
  when,
• 28:53
  you
• 28:53
  know,
• 28:53
  when
• 28:53
  Chinese
• 28:54
  parenting
• 28:54
  succeeds,
• 28:55
  there's
• 28:55
  nothing
• 28:55
  like
• 28:56
  it,
• 28:56
  but
• 28:57
  it
• 28:57
  doesn't
• 28:57
  always
• 28:57
  succeed.
• 28:58
  And
• 28:58
  she
• 28:58
  Mentions
• 28:59
  that
• 28:59
  Sophia
• 29:00
  has
• 29:01
  performed
• 29:01
  in
• 29:01
  front
• 29:01
  of
• 29:02
  Supreme
• 29:02
  Court
• 29:02
  justices
• 29:03
  and
• 29:03
  went
• 29:03
  on
• 29:04
  to
• 29:04
  illustrious
• 29:05
  accomplishments
• 29:06
  while
• 29:07
  she
• 29:08
  had
• 29:08
  to
• 29:08
  go
• 29:08
  pick
• 29:08
  up
• 29:08
  Lulu
• 29:09
  at
• 29:09
  some
• 29:09
  godforsaken
• 29:10
  tennis
• 29:11
  place
• 29:11
  in
• 29:11
  Connecticut
• 29:12
  an
• 29:12
  hour
• 29:12
  away.
• 29:13
  And
• 29:13
  when
• 29:13
  Lulu
• 29:14
  tells
• 29:14
  her
• 29:14
  she
• 29:14
  won
• 29:15
  her
• 29:15
  match,
• 29:16
  Amy
• 29:16
  just
• 29:16
  has
• 29:16
  to
• 29:17
  bring
• 29:17
  up
• 29:17
  that,
• 29:17
  well,
• 29:17
  you
• 29:18
  won,
• 29:18
  but
• 29:18
  you
• 29:18
  were
• 29:18
  playing
• 29:19
  at
• 29:19
  the
• 29:19
  lowest
• 29:19
  level
• 29:20
  possible.
• 29:22
  So,
• 29:22
  I
• 29:22
  don't
• 29:22
  know.
• 29:23
  Don't
• 29:23
  be
• 29:23
  too
• 29:23
  proud.
• 29:24
  Yeah,
• 29:24
  that's
• 29:24
  not
• 29:24
  a
• 29:25
  lot
• 29:25
  to
• 29:25
  be
• 29:25
  proud
• 29:25
  of,
• 29:25
  but
• 29:26
  whatever.
• 29:26
  But
• 29:26
  the
• 29:26
  book
• 29:27
  just
• 29:27
  kind
• 29:27
  of
• 29:27
  ends,
• 29:28
  and
• 29:28
  there's
• 29:28
  just
• 29:28
  no
• 29:29
  final
• 29:30
  conclusion.
• 29:30
  And
• 29:31
  you
• 29:31
  didn't.
• 29:31
  Did
• 29:32
  you
• 29:32
  feel
• 29:32
  that
• 29:33
  there
• 29:33
  was
• 29:33
  a
• 29:33
  conclusion?
• 29:34
  I
• 29:34
  mean,
• 29:34
  no.
• 29:34
  I
• 29:34
  also
• 29:35
  wanted
• 29:35
  to
• 29:35
  know,
• 29:35
  like,
• 29:36
  what
• 29:36
  else
• 29:36
  happened
• 29:36
  to
• 29:36
  her
• 29:37
  sister?
• 29:38
  Wait,
• 29:39
  wait,
• 29:39
  her
• 29:39
  sister
• 29:40
  got
• 29:40
  sick,
• 29:40
  remember?
• 29:41
  Like,
• 29:41
  oh,
• 29:42
  is
• 29:43
  her
• 29:43
  sister
• 29:43
  okay?
• 29:44
  I
• 29:44
  didn't.
• 29:44
  I
• 29:44
  don't
• 29:45
  know.
• 29:45
  They
• 29:45
  didn't
• 29:45
  close
• 29:46
  that
• 29:46
  loop.
• 29:47
  I
• 29:47
  wish
• 29:47
  she
• 29:48
  had,
• 29:48
  like,
• 29:48
  spent
• 29:48
  a
• 29:48
  little
• 29:49
  more
• 29:49
  time
• 29:49
  on
• 29:49
  that.
• 29:49
  I
• 29:49
  was
• 29:50
  riveted
• 29:50
  by
• 29:50
  that.
• 29:51
  That
• 29:51
  side
• 29:51
  quest.
• 29:51
  Oh,
• 29:52
  okay.
• 29:53
  Yeah.
• 29:54
  Yeah.
• 29:54
  I
• 29:54
  mean,
• 29:54
  it
• 29:54
  sounds
• 29:54
  to
• 29:54
  me
• 29:55
  like
• 29:55
  her
• 29:55
  sister
• 29:55
  survived.
• 29:56
  Right.
• 29:57
  But
• 29:57
  I.
• 29:57
  I
• 29:58
  kind
• 29:58
  of
• 29:58
  wanted
• 29:58
  to
• 29:58
  know
• 29:58
  a
• 29:58
  little
• 29:59
  more
• 29:59
  about
• 29:59
  that.
• 30:00
  Right.
• 30:02
  Because
• 30:02
  I
• 30:02
  think
• 30:02
  especially,
• 30:02
  too,
• 30:03
  like,
• 30:03
  your
• 30:03
  relationships
• 30:04
  with
• 30:04
  your
• 30:04
  children
• 30:05
  change
• 30:05
  as
• 30:05
  they
• 30:06
  grow
• 30:06
  and
• 30:06
  as
• 30:07
  you
• 30:07
  grow.
• 30:08
  And,
• 30:08
  like,
• 30:09
  I
• 30:09
  mean,
• 30:09
  as
• 30:09
  a
• 30:09
  kid,
• 30:10
  I
• 30:10
  imagine
• 30:10
  parenting
• 30:11
  me
• 30:11
  was
• 30:11
  a
• 30:12
  nightmare,
• 30:13
  but
• 30:13
  now
• 30:13
  we
• 30:14
  are
• 30:14
  best
• 30:14
  friends,
• 30:15
  right?
• 30:16
  So,
• 30:16
  like,
• 30:17
  what
• 30:17
  is
• 30:17
  the
• 30:18
  evolution
• 30:18
  there
• 30:19
  for
• 30:19
  the
• 30:19
  Chinese
• 30:20
  parent?
• 30:20
  Does.
• 30:21
  Does
• 30:21
  the
• 30:21
  relationship
• 30:22
  ever
• 30:23
  truly
• 30:23
  shift
• 30:24
  in
• 30:24
  that
• 30:25
  way?
• 30:25
  Like,
• 30:25
  is
• 30:26
  there
• 30:26
  ever
• 30:26
  a
• 30:26
  point
• 30:27
  where
• 30:27
  we
• 30:27
  say,
• 30:28
  my
• 30:28
  work
• 30:28
  is
• 30:28
  done?
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  don't
• 30:30
  know.
• 30:30
  That's
• 30:30
  a
• 30:31
  good
• 30:31
  question.
• 30:31
  You
• 30:31
  know,
• 30:32
  and
• 30:32
  actually,
• 30:32
  we
• 30:33
  can
• 30:33
  talk
• 30:33
  to
• 30:33
  our
• 30:33
  guests
• 30:34
  about
• 30:34
  that.
• 30:34
  Yes,
• 30:34
  that's
• 30:34
  something
• 30:34
  we
• 30:35
  can
• 30:35
  talk
• 30:35
  about.
• 30:35
  We
• 30:35
  can
• 30:35
  talk
• 30:35
  to
• 30:35
  our
• 30:35
  guests.
• 30:36
  We'll
• 30:36
  talk
• 30:36
  to
• 30:36
  our
• 30:36
  guest,
• 30:37
  our
• 30:37
  upcoming
• 30:38
  guest
• 30:38
  about
• 30:38
  that.
• 30:39
  But,
• 30:39
  yeah,
• 30:40
  no,
• 30:40
  because
• 30:41
  you're
• 30:41
  right,
• 30:41
  you
• 30:41
  know,
• 30:42
  you
• 30:42
  don't
• 30:42
  want
• 30:42
  to.
• 30:43
  When
• 30:43
  you're
• 30:43
  raising
• 30:43
  your
• 30:44
  kids,
• 30:44
  you
• 30:44
  can't
• 30:44
  be
• 30:45
  their
• 30:45
  friend.
• 30:45
  You
• 30:46
  know,
• 30:46
  you
• 30:46
  have
• 30:46
  to
• 30:46
  be
• 30:46
  there.
• 30:46
  You
• 30:47
  have
• 30:47
  to
• 30:47
  be
• 30:47
  their
• 30:47
  enemy,
• 30:47
  not
• 30:48
  their
• 30:48
  enem.
• 30:48
  Sworn
• 30:49
  nemesis.
• 30:50
  You're
• 30:51
  their
• 30:51
  guide.
• 30:52
  You're
• 30:52
  their.
• 30:52
  Their
• 30:53
  Rodney,
• 30:53
  Their
• 30:54
  spirit
• 30:54
  guide.
• 30:55
  I
• 30:55
  don't
• 30:55
  know
• 30:56
  what
• 30:56
  is
• 30:56
  spirit
• 30:57
  guide.
• 30:57
  Maybe
• 30:58
  not
• 30:58
  spirit
• 30:58
  guide,
• 30:58
  but
• 30:59
  you're
• 30:59
  the
• 30:59
  guide.
• 30:59
  You're
• 31:00
  like
• 31:00
  the.
• 31:00
  I
• 31:01
  don't
• 31:01
  want
• 31:01
  a
• 31:01
  ghost.
• 31:01
  Well,
• 31:02
  not
• 31:02
  a
• 31:02
  guy.
• 31:02
  You're
• 31:03
  like
• 31:03
  the.
• 31:03
  You're
• 31:03
  like
• 31:03
  the
• 31:04
  mentor.
• 31:04
  The
• 31:05
  parent
• 31:05
  mentor,
• 31:06
  sort
• 31:06
  of,
• 31:06
  but
• 31:07
  I
• 31:07
  feel
• 31:07
  like
• 31:07
  it's,
• 31:07
  like,
• 31:07
  a
• 31:07
  little
• 31:08
  different
• 31:08
  than
• 31:08
  a
• 31:08
  mentor.
• 31:09
  There's
• 31:09
  a
• 31:09
  different
• 31:09
  level
• 31:10
  of
• 31:10
  investment.
• 31:10
  Your
• 31:11
  children
• 31:11
  are
• 31:11
  a
• 31:11
  reflection
• 31:12
  on
• 31:12
  you.
• 31:13
  If
• 31:13
  you
• 31:13
  have
• 31:13
  horrible
• 31:14
  children,
• 31:14
  people
• 31:15
  will
• 31:15
  assume
• 31:16
  you
• 31:16
  are
• 31:16
  also
• 31:17
  horrible.
• 31:17
  You're
• 31:18
  right.
• 31:18
  They
• 31:18
  will.
• 31:18
  They
• 31:18
  will.
• 31:19
  That
• 31:19
  they
• 31:19
  will.
• 31:20
  Yeah.
• 31:20
  You
• 31:20
  are
• 31:21
  a
• 31:21
  reflection
• 31:21
  of
• 31:22
  Me?
• 31:22
  Yeah.
• 31:23
  And
• 31:23
  a
• 31:23
  lot
• 31:23
  of
• 31:24
  parents
• 31:24
  do
• 31:24
  feel
• 31:24
  that
• 31:24
  way,
• 31:25
  and
• 31:25
  that's.
• 31:25
  That's
• 31:25
  probably
• 31:26
  not
• 31:26
  a
• 31:26
  good
• 31:26
  thing.
• 31:26
  Yeah.
• 31:27
  At
• 31:27
  least
• 31:27
  while
• 31:28
  you're,
• 31:28
  like,
• 31:28
  still
• 31:28
  in
• 31:28
  the
• 31:29
  process
• 31:29
  of
• 31:29
  raising
• 31:29
  a
• 31:30
  kid.
• 31:30
  Right.
• 31:30
  Like.
• 31:30
  Like
• 31:31
  they're
• 31:31
  not
• 31:31
  done
• 31:32
  right.
• 31:32
  You
• 31:33
  know
• 31:33
  what
• 31:33
  I
• 31:33
  mean?
• 31:33
  It's
• 31:33
  like
• 31:33
  a
• 31:33
  sculpture.
• 31:34
  It's
• 31:34
  still
• 31:34
  in
• 31:34
  the
• 31:34
  kiln.
• 31:35
  That's
• 31:35
  right.
• 31:35
  We're
• 31:35
  working
• 31:36
  on
• 31:36
  it.
• 31:36
  Yeah,
• 31:37
  we're
• 31:38
  gonna.
• 31:38
  It's
• 31:38
  a
• 31:38
  work
• 31:39
  in
• 31:39
  progress.
• 31:39
  Yeah,
• 31:40
  exactly.
• 31:40
  But
• 31:41
  when
• 31:41
  do
• 31:41
  you
• 31:41
  declare
• 31:42
  your
• 31:42
  job
• 31:42
  done?
• 31:43
  Well,
• 31:43
  when
• 31:43
  your
• 31:43
  kids
• 31:44
  get
• 31:44
  older
• 31:44
  and
• 31:45
  they
• 31:45
  move
• 31:45
  out
• 31:46
  and
• 31:46
  you're
• 31:47
  not
• 31:47
  having
• 31:47
  to
• 31:48
  pay
• 31:48
  for
• 31:48
  everything.
• 31:49
  As
• 31:49
  a
• 31:50
  parent,
• 31:51
  it
• 31:51
  takes
• 31:51
  a
• 31:51
  long
• 31:51
  time
• 31:52
  for
• 31:52
  a
• 31:53
  child
• 31:53
  to
• 31:53
  grow
• 31:53
  up
• 31:53
  and
• 31:54
  kind
• 31:54
  of
• 31:54
  go
• 31:54
  out
• 31:54
  on
• 31:55
  their
• 31:55
  own.
• 31:55
  And
• 31:56
  now
• 31:56
  we
• 31:56
  can
• 31:56
  be
• 31:56
  friends.
• 31:58
  But
• 31:58
  we
• 31:58
  have
• 31:58
  a
• 31:59
  friend,
• 31:59
  mother,
• 32:00
  daughter
• 32:00
  relationship.
• 32:00
  I
• 32:00
  mean,
• 32:01
  we're
• 32:01
  so
• 32:01
  close
• 32:01
  to
• 32:02
  each
• 32:02
  other,
• 32:04
  but.
• 32:05
  Yeah,
• 32:05
  like,
• 32:05
  I
• 32:05
  made
• 32:06
  you
• 32:06
  get
• 32:06
  an
• 32:06
  apartment
• 32:07
  up
• 32:07
  my
• 32:07
  street.
• 32:08
  I
• 32:08
  love
• 32:08
  that
• 32:09
  my
• 32:09
  child
• 32:10
  wanted
• 32:10
  me
• 32:11
  to
• 32:11
  be
• 32:11
  living
• 32:12
  up
• 32:12
  the
• 32:12
  street
• 32:12
  from
• 32:12
  them.
• 32:13
  I
• 32:13
  almost
• 32:13
  moved
• 32:14
  into
• 32:14
  your
• 32:14
  building.
• 32:14
  Building.
• 32:14
  You
• 32:15
  did?
• 32:15
  But
• 32:15
  I
• 32:15
  thought
• 32:15
  it
• 32:16
  would
• 32:16
  be,
• 32:16
  you
• 32:16
  know,
• 32:16
  too
• 32:17
  much
• 32:17
  for
• 32:17
  your
• 32:17
  husband
• 32:18
  to
• 32:18
  have
• 32:18
  me
• 32:18
  in
• 32:18
  the
• 32:19
  apartment.
• 32:20
  Well,
• 32:20
  it's
• 32:20
  funny
• 32:20
  because
• 32:21
  his
• 32:21
  parents
• 32:21
  also
• 32:21
  live
• 32:22
  up
• 32:22
  our
• 32:22
  street.
• 32:22
  And
• 32:23
  I'm
• 32:23
  sure,
• 32:23
  like,
• 32:23
  if
• 32:24
  they
• 32:24
  could,
• 32:24
  everyone
• 32:24
  would
• 32:25
  live
• 32:25
  in
• 32:25
  our
• 32:25
  building.
• 32:26
  We'd
• 32:26
  live
• 32:26
  in
• 32:26
  your
• 32:26
  apartment
• 32:27
  if
• 32:27
  we
• 32:27
  could.
• 32:28
  Because
• 32:28
  we
• 32:29
  want
• 32:29
  to
• 32:29
  be
• 32:29
  near
• 32:29
  you
• 32:30
  and
• 32:30
  the
• 32:30
  baby.
• 32:30
  Yeah.
• 32:31
  Everyone's
• 32:31
  obsessed
• 32:31
  with
• 32:31
  my
• 32:32
  baby.
• 32:32
  Yeah,
• 32:32
  it's
• 32:33
  true.
• 32:33
  We
• 32:33
  are.
• 32:34
  She's
• 32:34
  so
• 32:34
  cute.
• 32:35
  She's
• 32:35
  so
• 32:35
  cute.
• 32:36
  But
• 32:36
  before
• 32:36
  we
• 32:37
  get
• 32:37
  into.
• 32:37
  We're
• 32:38
  going
• 32:38
  to
• 32:38
  bring
• 32:38
  our
• 32:38
  guest
• 32:38
  on
• 32:39
  in
• 32:39
  just
• 32:39
  a
• 32:39
  minute.
• 32:39
  But
• 32:40
  I
• 32:40
  guess
• 32:40
  our
• 32:41
  guest
• 32:42
  I
• 32:42
  did
• 32:42
  want
• 32:42
  to
• 32:42
  talk
• 32:43
  about.
• 32:43
  Just
• 32:43
  bring
• 32:44
  up
• 32:44
  the
• 32:44
  three
• 32:45
  types
• 32:45
  of
• 32:45
  parenting
• 32:46
  that
• 32:46
  are
• 32:47
  just
• 32:47
  that,
• 32:47
  so
• 32:48
  prevalent
• 32:48
  today.
• 32:48
  Yes.
• 32:49
  You
• 32:49
  hear
• 32:49
  about
• 32:49
  these
• 32:50
  all
• 32:50
  the
• 32:50
  time.
• 32:50
  It's
• 32:51
  from
• 32:51
  a
• 32:51
  woman
• 32:51
  named
• 32:52
  Diana
• 32:52
  Bongrin
• 32:54
  Rind.
• 32:55
  Whatever.
• 32:55
  I
• 32:55
  can't
• 32:56
  pronounce
• 32:56
  her
• 32:56
  name
• 32:56
  anyway.
• 32:57
  Good
• 32:57
  try,
• 32:58
  though.
• 32:58
  That
• 32:58
  was
• 32:59
  great.
• 32:59
  Anyway,
• 33:00
  she
• 33:00
  talks
• 33:00
  about
• 33:01
  three
• 33:01
  types
• 33:01
  of
• 33:01
  parenting.
• 33:02
  Authoritarian.
• 33:04
  That's
• 33:04
  the
• 33:04
  one
• 33:04
  that
• 33:04
  feels
• 33:05
  like
• 33:05
  the
• 33:05
  Tiger
• 33:05
  mom
• 33:06
  parenting.
• 33:06
  Very
• 33:07
  dictatorial.
• 33:08
  Overbearing
• 33:10
  rules
• 33:10
  are
• 33:10
  strict
• 33:11
  with
• 33:11
  no
• 33:11
  room
• 33:11
  for
• 33:11
  interpretation,
• 33:12
  compromise,
• 33:13
  or
• 33:13
  discussion.
• 33:14
  You
• 33:14
  punish
• 33:15
  kids
• 33:15
  for
• 33:15
  violating
• 33:16
  rules.
• 33:17
  Kids
• 33:17
  are
• 33:17
  rarely
• 33:18
  given
• 33:18
  a
• 33:18
  say
• 33:18
  in
• 33:19
  their
• 33:19
  lives.
• 33:19
  They
• 33:19
  just
• 33:20
  are
• 33:20
  expected
• 33:20
  to
• 33:20
  obey
• 33:21
  without
• 33:21
  question.
• 33:22
  And
• 33:22
  the
• 33:22
  research
• 33:23
  shows
• 33:23
  this
• 33:23
  can
• 33:24
  be
• 33:24
  damaging
• 33:24
  to
• 33:24
  kids.
• 33:26
  Now,
• 33:26
  kids
• 33:26
  raised
• 33:27
  in
• 33:27
  this
• 33:27
  way
• 33:29
  obey
• 33:29
  to
• 33:30
  avoid
• 33:30
  punishment,
• 33:31
  but
• 33:31
  they
• 33:31
  develop
• 33:32
  a
• 33:32
  follower
• 33:33
  mentality
• 33:33
  and
• 33:33
  have
• 33:34
  lower
• 33:34
  self.
• 33:35
  And
• 33:35
  this
• 33:35
  is
• 33:35
  just
• 33:36
  overall
• 33:36
  research.
• 33:37
  Dangerous.
• 33:37
  I
• 33:38
  know.
• 33:38
  And
• 33:38
  then
• 33:39
  if
• 33:39
  your
• 33:39
  friends
• 33:39
  are
• 33:40
  all
• 33:40
  jumping
• 33:40
  off
• 33:40
  the
• 33:40
  bridge.
• 33:41
  Are
• 33:41
  you
• 33:41
  jumping
• 33:42
  off
• 33:42
  the
• 33:42
  bridge?
• 33:42
  Honestly,
• 33:43
  I
• 33:43
  wasn't
• 33:43
  a
• 33:43
  follower.
• 33:44
  I
• 33:44
  still
• 33:44
  probably
• 33:44
  would
• 33:45
  have
• 33:45
  jumped
• 33:45
  off
• 33:45
  that
• 33:45
  bridge.
• 33:46
  You
• 33:46
  would
• 33:46
  have
• 33:47
  if
• 33:47
  your
• 33:47
  friends
• 33:47
  were
• 33:47
  like,
• 33:47
  what's
• 33:48
  off
• 33:48
  the
• 33:48
  bridge?
• 33:50
  Where
• 33:50
  are
• 33:50
  we
• 33:50
  going?
• 33:51
  Oh,
• 33:51
  my
• 33:51
  God.
• 33:52
  Well,
• 33:52
  that
• 33:52
  comes
• 33:52
  with
• 33:53
  being
• 33:53
  a
• 33:53
  teenager.
• 33:54
  Okay.
• 33:55
  Authoritative.
• 33:56
  Okay.
• 33:57
  That's
• 33:57
  a
• 33:57
  supportive
• 33:58
  parent.
• 33:58
  That
• 33:59
  seems
• 33:59
  like
• 33:59
  an
• 33:59
  aspirational
• 34:00
  idea.
• 34:01
  I
• 34:01
  think
• 34:01
  a
• 34:01
  lot
• 34:01
  of
• 34:01
  people
• 34:01
  probably
• 34:02
  think
• 34:02
  they're
• 34:02
  authoritative,
• 34:03
  but
• 34:03
  they're
• 34:03
  not.
• 34:04
  Right.
• 34:04
  I
• 34:04
  mean,
• 34:05
  you
• 34:05
  probably
• 34:05
  slip
• 34:06
  into
• 34:06
  authoritarian
• 34:07
  or
• 34:07
  permissive,
• 34:07
  which
• 34:08
  we'll
• 34:08
  get
• 34:08
  into.
• 34:08
  But
• 34:08
  this
• 34:09
  is
• 34:09
  the
• 34:09
  best
• 34:09
  style
• 34:10
  or
• 34:10
  considered
• 34:11
  the
• 34:11
  best
• 34:11
  style.
• 34:12
  It
• 34:12
  provides
• 34:13
  structure
• 34:13
  and
• 34:13
  independence,
• 34:14
  allows
• 34:14
  kids
• 34:15
  to
• 34:15
  grow
• 34:15
  within
• 34:15
  reasonable
• 34:16
  boundaries.
• 34:17
  Parents
• 34:17
  set
• 34:17
  standards
• 34:18
  which
• 34:18
  they
• 34:18
  explain
• 34:19
  to
• 34:19
  their
• 34:19
  kids,
• 34:19
  expect
• 34:20
  them
• 34:20
  to
• 34:20
  follow,
• 34:21
  but
• 34:22
  they
• 34:22
  also
• 34:22
  provide
• 34:23
  an
• 34:23
  emotionally
• 34:24
  caring
• 34:24
  environment
• 34:24
  that
• 34:25
  fosters
• 34:25
  trust.
• 34:26
  There's
• 34:26
  room
• 34:27
  for
• 34:27
  discussion,
• 34:27
  making
• 34:28
  mistakes.
• 34:28
  Discipline
• 34:29
  exists,
• 34:29
  but
• 34:30
  not
• 34:30
  as
• 34:30
  punitive.
• 34:31
  These
• 34:31
  kids
• 34:32
  have
• 34:32
  the
• 34:32
  best
• 34:32
  outcomes.
• 34:33
  This
• 34:33
  is
• 34:33
  in
• 34:33
  habit
• 34:34
  coaching.
• 34:35
  This
• 34:35
  is
• 34:35
  the
• 34:35
  style
• 34:35
  of
• 34:36
  parenting
• 34:36
  we're
• 34:36
  trying
• 34:37
  to
• 34:37
  encourage
• 34:38
  parents
• 34:38
  to
• 34:38
  follow.
• 34:40
  Yeah.
• 34:40
  And
• 34:40
  then.
• 34:41
  But
• 34:41
  flexible.
• 34:42
  Yeah.
• 34:43
  And
• 34:43
  then
• 34:43
  there's
• 34:43
  the
• 34:43
  permissive,
• 34:44
  indulgent
• 34:45
  parent.
• 34:45
  The
• 34:45
  opposite
• 34:46
  of
• 34:46
  authoritative.
• 34:47
  Parents
• 34:48
  make
• 34:48
  few
• 34:48
  demands
• 34:49
  of
• 34:49
  their
• 34:49
  kids.
• 34:50
  Think
• 34:51
  Amy
• 34:51
  Poehler
• 34:51
  and
• 34:52
  Mean
• 34:52
  Girls.
• 34:53
  Oh,
• 34:54
  yeah,
• 34:54
  you're
• 34:54
  right.
• 34:54
  The
• 34:54
  cool
• 34:55
  mom.
• 34:55
  Right.
• 34:57
  Who
• 34:57
  they
• 34:57
  can
• 34:57
  do
• 34:57
  what
• 34:57
  they
• 34:58
  want.
• 34:58
  There's
• 34:58
  no
• 34:58
  rules
• 34:59
  or
• 34:59
  structure.
• 34:59
  They
• 34:59
  act
• 35:00
  like,
• 35:00
  like
• 35:00
  peers
• 35:00
  or
• 35:01
  friends.
• 35:02
  Kids
• 35:03
  end
• 35:03
  up
• 35:03
  either
• 35:03
  very
• 35:04
  entitled
• 35:04
  or
• 35:04
  very
• 35:05
  anxious
• 35:05
  because
• 35:05
  no
• 35:06
  one
• 35:06
  is
• 35:06
  running
• 35:06
  the
• 35:06
  show.
• 35:07
  Yeah.
• 35:07
  Right.
• 35:08
  So.
• 35:08
  So
• 35:09
  there
• 35:09
  is
• 35:09
  a
• 35:09
  woman
• 35:10
  who,
• 35:11
  who
• 35:11
  did
• 35:11
  a
• 35:11
  study
• 35:12
  of
• 35:13
  preschool
• 35:13
  age
• 35:14
  children
• 35:14
  and
• 35:14
  she
• 35:15
  said
• 35:15
  maybe
• 35:16
  the
• 35:17
  parenting
• 35:17
  styles
• 35:18
  that
• 35:18
  I
• 35:19
  just
• 35:19
  went
• 35:19
  over
• 35:19
  don't
• 35:20
  have
• 35:20
  the
• 35:20
  same
• 35:20
  predictive
• 35:21
  power
• 35:21
  for
• 35:21
  Chinese
• 35:22
  Americans
• 35:23
  because
• 35:23
  she
• 35:23
  did
• 35:23
  a
• 35:23
  study
• 35:24
  with
• 35:24
  preschool
• 35:25
  children
• 35:25
  and
• 35:26
  she
• 35:26
  says,
• 35:26
  said
• 35:27
  she
• 35:27
  didn't
• 35:27
  think
• 35:27
  that
• 35:27
  the
• 35:28
  results
• 35:29
  really
• 35:30
  followed
• 35:30
  what
• 35:30
  you
• 35:30
  would
• 35:31
  expect
• 35:31
  in
• 35:31
  with
• 35:32
  Western
• 35:32
  kids.
• 35:32
  So
• 35:33
  I
• 35:33
  don't
• 35:33
  know.
• 35:33
  I
• 35:34
  don't
• 35:34
  know
• 35:34
  if
• 35:34
  these
• 35:34
  are,
• 35:36
  you
• 35:36
  know,
• 35:36
  if
• 35:37
  again,
• 35:37
  it's
• 35:38
  the
• 35:38
  culture.
• 35:38
  Like
• 35:38
  we,
• 35:38
  we
• 35:39
  just,
• 35:39
  we
• 35:39
  read
• 35:39
  about
• 35:39
  this
• 35:40
  too
• 35:40
  in
• 35:41
  French
• 35:41
  Kids
• 35:41
  Eat
• 35:42
  everything.
• 35:42
  Where
• 35:43
  the
• 35:43
  woman
• 35:44
  learned
• 35:44
  this
• 35:45
  style
• 35:45
  of
• 35:45
  feeding
• 35:45
  her
• 35:46
  children
• 35:46
  in
• 35:46
  France
• 35:46
  and
• 35:47
  then
• 35:47
  tried
• 35:47
  to
• 35:47
  implement
• 35:47
  it
• 35:48
  in
• 35:48
  Vancouver
• 35:49
  and
• 35:49
  everybody
• 35:49
  was
• 35:50
  like,
• 35:50
  what
• 35:50
  are
• 35:51
  you
• 35:51
  doing?
• 35:51
  Yeah,
• 35:52
  it's
• 35:52
  really
• 35:52
  hard
• 35:53
  when
• 35:53
  everybody's
• 35:54
  not
• 35:54
  on
• 35:54
  the
• 35:54
  same
• 35:54
  page
• 35:55
  in
• 35:55
  your
• 35:55
  community
• 35:56
  because
• 35:56
  then
• 35:57
  you
• 35:57
  become
• 35:57
  the
• 35:57
  person
• 35:57
  who
• 35:58
  has
• 35:58
  to
• 35:58
  be
• 35:58
  it
• 35:58
  every
• 35:59
  second
• 35:59
  or
• 35:59
  something
• 35:59
  is
• 36:00
  not
• 36:00
  gonna
• 36:00
  go
• 36:00
  the
• 36:00
  way
• 36:01
  that
• 36:01
  you
• 36:01
  want
• 36:02
  it
• 36:02
  to
• 36:02
  go.
• 36:03
  And
• 36:03
  like,
• 36:04
  who
• 36:04
  can
• 36:04
  live
• 36:04
  like
• 36:05
  that?
• 36:05
  It
• 36:05
  is
• 36:06
  hard
• 36:06
  to
• 36:06
  take
• 36:06
  that
• 36:07
  something
• 36:07
  that
• 36:07
  is
• 36:08
  not,
• 36:10
  you
• 36:10
  know,
• 36:11
  the
• 36:11
  way
• 36:12
  other
• 36:12
  people
• 36:12
  parent
• 36:13
  their
• 36:13
  kids
• 36:13
  and
• 36:13
  bring
• 36:14
  it
• 36:14
  to
• 36:14
  another
• 36:15
  place.
• 36:15
  Yeah.
• 36:16
  Although
• 36:17
  maybe
• 36:19
  I'm
• 36:19
  wondering
• 36:19
  if
• 36:20
  maybe
• 36:20
  even
• 36:21
  Chinese
• 36:21
  parents
• 36:22
  in
• 36:22
  America
• 36:23
  are
• 36:23
  not
• 36:23
  raising
• 36:23
  their
• 36:24
  kids
• 36:24
  this
• 36:24
  way.
• 36:25
  Yeah,
• 36:25
  I
• 36:25
  think
• 36:25
  it
• 36:26
  depends.
• 36:27
  I
• 36:27
  think
• 36:27
  it
• 36:28
  totally
• 36:28
  depends.
• 36:29
  I
• 36:29
  also
• 36:29
  think
• 36:29
  it
• 36:29
  is
• 36:30
  really
• 36:30
  impactful.
• 36:30
  Impacted
• 36:31
  by
• 36:31
  what
• 36:32
  generation
• 36:32
  are
• 36:32
  you,
• 36:33
  you
• 36:33
  know,
• 36:34
  like
• 36:34
  did
• 36:34
  your
• 36:34
  parents
• 36:35
  come
• 36:35
  to
• 36:36
  the
• 36:36
  country?
• 36:36
  Was
• 36:36
  it
• 36:36
  your
• 36:36
  grandparents?
• 36:37
  Was
• 36:37
  it
• 36:37
  the
• 36:37
  generation
• 36:38
  before?
• 36:38
  I
• 36:39
  think
• 36:39
  that
• 36:39
  really
• 36:39
  impacts.
• 36:40
  The
• 36:40
  farther
• 36:41
  away,
• 36:41
  the
• 36:42
  less
• 36:42
  likely
• 36:42
  maybe
• 36:43
  you
• 36:43
  are
• 36:43
  to
• 36:43
  raise
• 36:43
  your
• 36:44
  children.
• 36:44
  This
• 36:44
  totally.
• 36:44
  Because
• 36:45
  the
• 36:45
  stakes
• 36:45
  are
• 36:45
  just
• 36:45
  different.
• 36:46
  Right.
• 36:47
  Well,
• 36:47
  so,
• 36:47
  okay,
• 36:48
  so
• 36:49
  we're
• 36:50
  gonna
• 36:51
  wrap
• 36:51
  up
• 36:52
  our
• 36:52
  review
• 36:52
  of
• 36:53
  the
• 36:53
  book,
• 36:53
  and
• 36:53
  then
• 36:53
  we're
• 36:53
  gonna
• 36:54
  bring
• 36:54
  on
• 36:54
  our
• 36:54
  guest.
• 36:54
  Yes.
• 36:55
  Who
• 36:55
  we
• 36:56
  will
• 36:56
  tell
• 36:56
  you
• 36:56
  about,
• 36:56
  who
• 36:57
  actually
• 36:57
  knows
• 36:57
  a
• 36:57
  lot
• 36:58
  about
• 36:59
  being
• 37:00
  raised
• 37:00
  in
• 37:01
  the
• 37:02
  Chinese
• 37:02
  style,
• 37:03
  knows
• 37:03
  a
• 37:03
  lot
• 37:03
  more
• 37:03
  about
• 37:04
  it
• 37:04
  than
• 37:04
  we
• 37:04
  do.
• 37:04
  And
• 37:04
  I
• 37:05
  want
• 37:05
  to
• 37:05
  get
• 37:05
  her
• 37:05
  take
• 37:05
  on
• 37:06
  this
• 37:07
  and
• 37:07
  you
• 37:07
  know,
• 37:08
  how
• 37:08
  it
• 37:08
  might
• 37:08
  have
• 37:08
  impacted
• 37:09
  her
• 37:09
  raising
• 37:10
  her
• 37:10
  own
• 37:10
  kids
• 37:10
  in
• 37:10
  America.
• 37:11
  But
• 37:11
  what
• 37:12
  did
• 37:12
  you
• 37:12
  think
• 37:13
  of
• 37:13
  this
• 37:13
  book
• 37:13
  in
• 37:13
  general?
• 37:14
  I
• 37:14
  thought
• 37:14
  the
• 37:14
  book
• 37:15
  was
• 37:15
  really
• 37:16
  funny
• 37:16
  and
• 37:16
  interesting
• 37:17
  and
• 37:17
  it
• 37:17
  was
• 37:17
  easy
• 37:17
  to
• 37:18
  read.
• 37:18
  Obviously,
• 37:19
  we
• 37:19
  need
• 37:19
  to
• 37:19
  address
• 37:20
  there
• 37:20
  has
• 37:20
  been
• 37:20
  a
• 37:20
  little
• 37:21
  bit
• 37:21
  of
• 37:21
  scandal
• 37:21
  surrounding
• 37:22
  Amy
• 37:23
  Chua
• 37:24
  in
• 37:24
  the
• 37:24
  years
• 37:24
  that
• 37:25
  follows.
• 37:26
  That
• 37:26
  said,
• 37:26
  we
• 37:26
  are
• 37:26
  just
• 37:26
  here
• 37:27
  to
• 37:27
  review
• 37:27
  this
• 37:27
  book,
• 37:27
  guys.
• 37:28
  Like,
• 37:28
  please
• 37:29
  don't.
• 37:29
  I
• 37:30
  get
• 37:30
  it.
• 37:30
  Feel
• 37:30
  how
• 37:30
  you
• 37:30
  feel
• 37:31
  about
• 37:31
  her
• 37:31
  as
• 37:31
  a
• 37:31
  person.
• 37:32
  But
• 37:32
  we're
• 37:33
  here
• 37:33
  to
• 37:33
  talk
• 37:33
  about
• 37:33
  the
• 37:33
  book
• 37:33
  and
• 37:34
  the
• 37:34
  parenting
• 37:34
  style
• 37:34
  and,
• 37:35
  yeah,
• 37:35
  whatever
• 37:36
  else.
• 37:36
  If
• 37:36
  you
• 37:37
  have
• 37:37
  to
• 37:37
  separate
• 37:37
  the
• 37:37
  art
• 37:37
  from
• 37:38
  the
• 37:38
  artist,
• 37:38
  then
• 37:39
  do
• 37:40
  it.
• 37:40
  Yeah,
• 37:40
  I
• 37:40
  guess.
• 37:41
  There
• 37:41
  is
• 37:41
  a
• 37:41
  lot
• 37:41
  of.
• 37:41
  There
• 37:42
  is
• 37:42
  a
• 37:42
  lot
• 37:42
  of
• 37:42
  controversy
• 37:43
  around
• 37:43
  her.
• 37:43
  You
• 37:43
  can
• 37:44
  look
• 37:44
  it
• 37:44
  up.
• 37:44
  It's.
• 37:45
  It's
• 37:45
  nice
• 37:45
  and
• 37:45
  juicy.
• 37:46
  Yeah,
• 37:47
  very
• 37:48
  juicy.
• 37:49
  But
• 37:49
  I
• 37:49
  wanted
• 37:49
  to
• 37:50
  just.
• 37:50
  Oh,
• 37:50
  I
• 37:50
  want.
• 37:50
  Before
• 37:51
  we
• 37:51
  close,
• 37:52
  I
• 37:52
  do
• 37:52
  want
• 37:52
  to
• 37:53
  say
• 37:53
  the
• 37:53
  daughters
• 37:53
  today.
• 37:56
  Sophia
• 37:56
  graduated
• 37:57
  from
• 37:57
  Harvard
• 37:58
  and
• 37:58
  Yale
• 37:58
  Law
• 37:59
  School.
• 37:59
  Iconic.
• 38:00
  Lurked
• 38:00
  for
• 38:00
  Brett
• 38:01
  Kavanaugh.
• 38:02
  Less
• 38:03
  great.
• 38:04
  Well,
• 38:04
  Amy
• 38:05
  wrote
• 38:05
  an
• 38:05
  editorial
• 38:06
  supporting
• 38:06
  him
• 38:06
  during
• 38:07
  his
• 38:07
  Supreme
• 38:07
  Court
• 38:07
  nomination.
• 38:09
  He
• 38:09
  had
• 38:09
  some
• 38:09
  of
• 38:09
  the
• 38:09
  controversy.
• 38:10
  Some
• 38:10
  of
• 38:10
  the
• 38:10
  controversy.
• 38:11
  But
• 38:12
  now
• 38:12
  she
• 38:12
  is
• 38:12
  a
• 38:12
  US
• 38:13
  army
• 38:13
  lawyer.
• 38:14
  Lulu
• 38:15
  graduated
• 38:15
  from
• 38:15
  Harvard
• 38:16
  and
• 38:16
  Yale,
• 38:17
  worked
• 38:17
  at
• 38:17
  a
• 38:18
  prestigious
• 38:18
  law
• 38:18
  firm,
• 38:19
  and
• 38:19
  is
• 38:19
  now
• 38:19
  a
• 38:19
  teaching
• 38:20
  fellow
• 38:20
  in
• 38:21
  American
• 38:21
  Constitutional
• 38:22
  Law
• 38:22
  at
• 38:22
  Harvard.
• 38:23
  And
• 38:24
  she
• 38:24
  says,
• 38:25
  according
• 38:25
  to
• 38:25
  AI,
• 38:26
  and
• 38:27
  we
• 38:27
  know
• 38:27
  it's
• 38:27
  true.
• 38:28
  AI
• 38:29
  says
• 38:30
  that
• 38:30
  she
• 38:30
  speaks
• 38:30
  fondly
• 38:31
  of
• 38:31
  her
• 38:31
  mother,
• 38:31
  saying
• 38:32
  she
• 38:32
  was
• 38:32
  pushed
• 38:33
  when
• 38:33
  she
• 38:33
  needed
• 38:33
  it,
• 38:33
  and
• 38:34
  that
• 38:34
  Chua
• 38:34
  helped
• 38:35
  her
• 38:35
  build
• 38:35
  resilience.
• 38:37
  What
• 38:37
  does
• 38:37
  Reddit
• 38:37
  have
• 38:38
  to
• 38:38
  say?
• 38:38
  Oh,
• 38:38
  I
• 38:38
  didn't
• 38:39
  see
• 38:39
  Reddit.
• 38:39
  I
• 38:39
  should
• 38:40
  have
• 38:40
  gone
• 38:40
  to
• 38:40
  Reddit.
• 38:40
  We
• 38:41
  always
• 38:41
  have
• 38:41
  to
• 38:41
  check
• 38:41
  Reddit
• 38:42
  teen.
• 38:42
  Yeah,
• 38:42
  I
• 38:42
  know.
• 38:42
  I
• 38:42
  forgot.
• 38:43
  We
• 38:43
  are
• 38:43
  a
• 38:43
  Reddit
• 38:43
  podcast.
• 38:44
  We
• 38:44
  are
• 38:44
  a
• 38:44
  Reddit
• 38:45
  family
• 38:45
  and
• 38:46
  a
• 38:46
  Reddit.
• 38:46
  We
• 38:46
  are
• 38:47
  Reddit
• 38:47
  family.
• 38:48
  We
• 38:49
  love
• 38:50
  Reddit.
• 38:50
  We
• 38:51
  do.
• 38:51
  I
• 38:51
  love
• 38:51
  Reddit.
• 38:52
  Honestly.
• 38:53
  Reddit,
• 38:53
  please
• 38:53
  sponsor
• 38:54
  us.
• 38:54
  We
• 38:55
  are
• 38:55
  accepting
• 38:55
  sponsorships.
• 38:56
  Right?
• 38:57
  Reach
• 38:57
  out
• 38:57
  to
• 38:57
  us
• 38:58
  personally.
• 38:58
  We
• 38:59
  love
• 38:59
  Reddit.
• 39:00
  I
• 39:00
  mean,
• 39:00
  you
• 39:00
  know,
• 39:01
  it's
• 39:01
  funny.
• 39:01
  I
• 39:01
  don't
• 39:01
  get
• 39:02
  into
• 39:02
  TikTok
• 39:03
  things.
• 39:03
  I
• 39:03
  get
• 39:04
  into
• 39:04
  Reddit
• 39:04
  things
• 39:05
  where
• 39:05
  I
• 39:05
  just
• 39:05
  can't
• 39:06
  stop
• 39:06
  reading
• 39:06
  Reddit.
• 39:07
  I
• 39:07
  know,
• 39:07
  I
• 39:07
  know.
• 39:08
  I
• 39:08
  can't
• 39:08
  have
• 39:08
  TikTok
• 39:09
  on
• 39:09
  my
• 39:09
  phone
• 39:10
  because
• 39:10
  I
• 39:10
  have
• 39:10
  ADHD
• 39:11
  and
• 39:11
  it
• 39:11
  would
• 39:12
  literally
• 39:12
  consume
• 39:12
  my
• 39:12
  life.
• 39:13
  Well,
• 39:13
  I
• 39:13
  do,
• 39:13
  too.
• 39:14
  I
• 39:14
  have
• 39:14
  ADHD.
• 39:15
  So
• 39:15
  do
• 39:15
  you
• 39:15
  have
• 39:16
  TikTok?
• 39:17
  I
• 39:17
  do.
• 39:17
  And
• 39:17
  every
• 39:17
  once
• 39:18
  in
• 39:18
  a
• 39:18
  while
• 39:18
  I
• 39:18
  fall
• 39:18
  down
• 39:19
  a
• 39:19
  rabbit
• 39:19
  hole.
• 39:19
  I.
• 39:20
  I
• 39:20
  try.
• 39:20
  I
• 39:20
  just
• 39:20
  try
• 39:20
  to
• 39:20
  avoid
• 39:21
  it.
• 39:21
  Exist
• 39:21
  from
• 39:21
  your
• 39:21
  life.
• 39:21
  Yeah,
• 39:22
  you're
• 39:22
  right.
• 39:22
  I
• 39:22
  should
• 39:22
  take
• 39:22
  a.
• 39:23
  Off
• 39:23
  my
• 39:23
  phone.
• 39:23
  Take
• 39:23
  it
• 39:23
  off
• 39:23
  your
• 39:23
  phone.
• 39:24
  All
• 39:24
  right.
• 39:24
  So
• 39:24
  today.
• 39:25
  Okay.
• 39:26
  Well,
• 39:26
  I
• 39:26
  like
• 39:26
  the
• 39:26
  book,
• 39:27
  too.
• 39:27
  I
• 39:27
  love
• 39:28
  the
• 39:28
  book.
• 39:28
  It.
• 39:28
  This.
• 39:29
  It
• 39:29
  was
• 39:29
  a
• 39:29
  fun
• 39:29
  book
• 39:29
  to
• 39:30
  read.
• 39:30
  A
• 39:30
  fun
• 39:30
  read.
• 39:31
  A
• 39:31
  funny
• 39:31
  book.
• 39:32
  Not
• 39:33
  what
• 39:33
  I
• 39:33
  thought
• 39:33
  it
• 39:33
  was
• 39:33
  going
• 39:34
  to
• 39:34
  be
• 39:35
  at
• 39:35
  all.
• 39:35
  And
• 39:36
  very
• 39:36
  entertaining.
• 39:37
  You
• 39:37
  could
• 39:37
  listen
• 39:38
  to
• 39:38
  it
• 39:38
  on.
• 39:39
  On
• 39:39
  as
• 39:39
  an
• 39:39
  audible
• 39:40
  book
• 39:40
  and
• 39:40
  it
• 39:40
  would
• 39:40
  do
• 39:41
  her
• 39:41
  own.
• 39:41
  I
• 39:42
  don't
• 39:42
  know.
• 39:42
  I
• 39:42
  don't
• 39:43
  know.
• 39:43
  I
• 39:43
  kind
• 39:43
  of
• 39:43
  hope
• 39:43
  she
• 39:43
  did,
• 39:44
  but.
• 39:44
  Yeah,
• 39:45
  but
• 39:45
  it.
• 39:45
  It.
• 39:45
  It
• 39:46
  would
• 39:46
  be
• 39:46
  a
• 39:46
  good
• 39:46
  audible
• 39:46
  book
• 39:47
  because
• 39:47
  it's
• 39:47
  just
• 39:47
  like
• 39:47
  a
• 39:47
  novel
• 39:48
  and
• 39:48
  it's
• 39:48
  funny
• 39:49
  and
• 39:49
  it's
• 39:50
  sad.
• 39:50
  I
• 39:50
  mean,
• 39:50
  there
• 39:51
  are
• 39:51
  some
• 39:51
  parts
• 39:51
  that
• 39:51
  for
• 39:52
  me
• 39:52
  are
• 39:52
  hard
• 39:52
  to
• 39:52
  listen
• 39:53
  to
• 39:53
  about
• 39:53
  some
• 39:54
  of
• 39:54
  the
• 39:54
  things
• 39:54
  that
• 39:54
  happened,
• 39:56
  but
• 39:56
  even
• 39:57
  she
• 39:57
  was
• 39:58
  kind
• 39:58
  of
• 39:58
  making
• 39:58
  fun
• 39:58
  of
• 39:59
  herself.
• 39:59
  I
• 39:59
  felt
• 40:00
  when
• 40:00
  she
• 40:00
  was.
• 40:01
  I
• 40:01
  appreciated
• 40:01
  that.
• 40:02
  I
• 40:02
  think
• 40:02
  that
• 40:02
  she
• 40:02
  understood
• 40:03
  in
• 40:03
  order
• 40:04
  to
• 40:04
  make
• 40:04
  a
• 40:04
  lot
• 40:04
  of
• 40:04
  this
• 40:05
  stuff
• 40:05
  digestible,
• 40:05
  she
• 40:06
  needed
• 40:06
  to
• 40:06
  be
• 40:06
  in
• 40:06
  on
• 40:06
  the
• 40:07
  joke.
• 40:07
  Yeah.
• 40:07
  And
• 40:08
  that's
• 40:08
  how
• 40:08
  she
• 40:08
  presented
• 40:09
  it.
• 40:09
  Yeah.
• 40:10
  I
• 40:10
  loved
• 40:10
  it.
• 40:11
  Okay,
• 40:11
  please
• 40:12
  join
• 40:12
  us
• 40:12
  in
• 40:12
  a
• 40:12
  moment
• 40:13
  when
• 40:13
  we
• 40:14
  bring
• 40:14
  in
• 40:14
  our
• 40:15
  guest.
• 40:17
  Are
• 40:17
  you
• 40:17
  frustrated
• 40:18
  watching
• 40:18
  your
• 40:18
  child,
• 40:19
  who
• 40:19
  has
• 40:19
  so
• 40:20
  much
• 40:20
  potential,
• 40:21
  struggle
• 40:21
  with
• 40:21
  everyday
• 40:22
  life,
• 40:23
  getting
• 40:23
  them
• 40:23
  ready
• 40:24
  for
• 40:24
  school,
• 40:24
  writing
• 40:25
  down
• 40:25
  assignments,
• 40:25
  bringing
• 40:26
  home
• 40:26
  the
• 40:26
  right
• 40:27
  textbook,
• 40:28
  organizing
• 40:28
  their
• 40:29
  backpack.
• 40:29
  You're
• 40:30
  thinking,
• 40:30
  the
• 40:30
  other
• 40:31
  kids
• 40:31
  can
• 40:31
  do
• 40:31
  it.
• 40:32
  Why
• 40:32
  can't
• 40:32
  mine
• 40:33
  your
• 40:33
  friends?
• 40:34
  Kids
• 40:34
  don't
• 40:34
  put
• 40:35
  off
• 40:35
  doing
• 40:35
  their
• 40:35
  homework,
• 40:36
  lose
• 40:36
  track
• 40:37
  of
• 40:37
  time,
• 40:37
  get
• 40:38
  distracted
• 40:38
  when
• 40:39
  studying,
• 40:39
  or
• 40:40
  fall
• 40:40
  apart
• 40:40
  when
• 40:41
  their
• 40:41
  screen
• 40:41
  time
• 40:42
  gets
• 40:42
  limited.
• 40:42
  You've
• 40:43
  tried
• 40:43
  everything.
• 40:44
  Explaining,
• 40:45
  cajoling,
• 40:46
  pleading,
• 40:47
  yelling,
• 40:47
  incentivizing,
• 40:49
  punishing.
• 40:49
  But
• 40:50
  nothing
• 40:50
  works.
• 40:51
  That's
• 40:52
  because
• 40:52
  your
• 40:52
  child
• 40:53
  has
• 40:53
  developed
• 40:54
  poor
• 40:54
  habits
• 40:55
  due
• 40:55
  to
• 40:55
  lack
• 40:55
  of
• 40:56
  what's
• 40:56
  called
• 40:56
  executive
• 40:57
  function
• 40:57
  skills.
• 40:58
  You
• 40:58
  can't
• 40:59
  talk,
• 40:59
  incentivize,
• 41:00
  or
• 41:01
  punish
• 41:01
  a
• 41:01
  child
• 41:02
  into
• 41:02
  using
• 41:03
  skills
• 41:03
  they
• 41:03
  just
• 41:04
  don't
• 41:04
  have.
• 41:05
  If
• 41:05
  this
• 41:06
  sounds
• 41:06
  familiar,
• 41:06
  try
• 41:07
  habitcoach.com
• 41:09
  our
• 41:09
  coaches
• 41:10
  teach
• 41:10
  kids
• 41:10
  how
• 41:11
  to
• 41:11
  play
• 41:11
  to
• 41:11
  their
• 41:11
  stronger
• 41:12
  skills,
• 41:13
  build
• 41:13
  workarounds
• 41:14
  for
• 41:14
  their
• 41:14
  weaknesses,
• 41:15
  and
• 41:15
  develop
• 41:16
  productive
• 41:16
  habits
• 41:17
  that
• 41:17
  stick
• 41:17
  for
• 41:18
  life.
• 41:18
  There's
• 41:19
  even
• 41:19
  a
• 41:20
  parenting
• 41:20
  program
• 41:21
  showing
• 41:21
  you
• 41:21
  how
• 41:22
  to
• 41:22
  help
• 41:22
  your
• 41:22
  child
• 41:23
  get
• 41:23
  organized,
• 41:24
  stay
• 41:24
  focused,
• 41:25
  stop
• 41:25
  procrastinating,
• 41:27
  control
• 41:27
  their
• 41:27
  impulses,
• 41:28
  and
• 41:28
  manage
• 41:29
  their
• 41:29
  emotions.
• 41:30
  You
• 41:30
  can
• 41:31
  get
• 41:31
  started
• 41:31
  for
• 41:31
  under
• 41:32
  $10
• 41:32
  a
• 41:33
  month.
• 41:33
  Don't
• 41:34
  let
• 41:34
  another
• 41:34
  day
• 41:35
  go
• 41:35
  by
• 41:35
  without
• 41:36
  getting
• 41:36
  your
• 41:36
  child
• 41:36
  the
• 41:37
  help
• 41:37
  they
• 41:37
  need.
• 41:38
  The
• 41:38
  longer
• 41:38
  you
• 41:39
  wait,
• 41:39
  the
• 41:39
  bigger
• 41:40
  the
• 41:40
  challenges
• 41:40
  become.
• 41:41
  Start
• 41:42
  today@habitcoach.com
• 41:45
  we
• 41:45
  are
• 41:45
  now
• 41:45
  back
• 41:46
  with
• 41:46
  our
• 41:46
  guest,
• 41:46
  Sandy
• 41:47
  Cho,
• 41:48
  who
• 41:48
  was
• 41:48
  raised
• 41:49
  in
• 41:49
  the
• 41:49
  style
• 41:50
  of
• 41:50
  Chinese
• 41:50
  parenting.
• 41:51
  So
• 41:51
  we
• 41:51
  decided
• 41:52
  we
• 41:52
  were
• 41:52
  gonna
• 41:52
  do
• 41:52
  an
• 41:53
  investigation.
• 41:54
  How
• 41:54
  serious
• 41:55
  was
• 41:55
  this?
• 41:56
  A
• 41:57
  deep
• 41:57
  investigation.
• 41:58
  Journalistic.
• 41:59
  Journalistic.
• 42:00
  Deep,
• 42:02
  like,
• 42:03
  just
• 42:03
  like
• 42:04
  the
• 42:04
  Washington
• 42:05
  and
• 42:05
  Post
• 42:05
  type
• 42:05
  information.
• 42:06
  We
• 42:06
  needed
• 42:06
  a
• 42:06
  primary
• 42:07
  source,
• 42:08
  and
• 42:08
  we
• 42:08
  have
• 42:08
  one.
• 42:09
  So,
• 42:10
  no.
• 42:10
  But
• 42:10
  I
• 42:10
  want
• 42:10
  to
• 42:11
  just
• 42:11
  say
• 42:11
  a
• 42:12
  little
• 42:12
  more
• 42:12
  about
• 42:12
  Sandy
• 42:13
  because
• 42:13
  I've
• 42:14
  known
• 42:14
  Sandy
• 42:14
  now
• 42:15
  for
• 42:15
  many
• 42:15
  years.
• 42:16
  And
• 42:17
  Sandy,
• 42:17
  we
• 42:18
  met
• 42:18
  because
• 42:20
  you
• 42:20
  were
• 42:20
  a
• 42:21
  testing
• 42:21
  mom
• 42:21
  client.
• 42:22
  A
• 42:22
  testing
• 42:23
  mom
• 42:23
  mom.
• 42:24
  We
• 42:24
  were
• 42:24
  helping
• 42:24
  you
• 42:25
  get
• 42:25
  your
• 42:25
  daughters
• 42:26
  into
• 42:26
  school.
• 42:28
  This
• 42:28
  was
• 42:28
  a
• 42:28
  long
• 42:28
  time
• 42:28
  ago.
• 42:29
  And
• 42:29
  after
• 42:29
  you
• 42:30
  got
• 42:30
  in
• 42:30
  touch
• 42:30
  with
• 42:30
  me
• 42:30
  and
• 42:30
  said
• 42:31
  you
• 42:31
  wanted
• 42:32
  to
• 42:32
  work
• 42:32
  with
• 42:32
  us
• 42:33
  and
• 42:33
  you
• 42:33
  started
• 42:33
  writing
• 42:34
  questions
• 42:35
  for
• 42:35
  us
• 42:35
  for
• 42:36
  our
• 42:36
  website,
• 42:37
  you
• 42:37
  wrote
• 42:38
  really
• 42:38
  hard
• 42:38
  math
• 42:39
  questions,
• 42:39
  as
• 42:40
  I
• 42:40
  recall,
• 42:41
  for
• 42:41
  tests.
• 42:42
  Really
• 42:42
  much
• 42:43
  harder
• 42:43
  than
• 42:43
  I
• 42:43
  could
• 42:43
  ever
• 42:44
  do.
• 42:44
  I
• 42:44
  was
• 42:44
  so
• 42:45
  impressed
• 42:46
  that
• 42:46
  you
• 42:46
  knew
• 42:47
  that
• 42:47
  much
• 42:47
  math.
• 42:48
  But
• 42:48
  anyway,
• 42:49
  so
• 42:49
  you
• 42:49
  wrote
• 42:49
  practice
• 42:50
  questions,
• 42:50
  but
• 42:50
  then
• 42:51
  you
• 42:51
  really
• 42:52
  joined
• 42:52
  us
• 42:52
  full
• 42:53
  time
• 42:53
  and
• 42:53
  you
• 42:53
  started
• 42:54
  our
• 42:54
  first
• 42:55
  tutoring
• 42:55
  center
• 42:56
  in
• 42:56
  New
• 42:56
  York.
• 42:57
  And
• 42:58
  that
• 42:58
  was.
• 42:58
  We
• 42:58
  ended
• 42:59
  up
• 42:59
  having
• 42:59
  to
• 42:59
  close
• 43:00
  because
• 43:00
  of
• 43:00
  the
• 43:00
  pandemic.
• 43:01
  But
• 43:02
  you
• 43:02
  had
• 43:02
  a
• 43:02
  big,
• 43:03
  thriving
• 43:04
  testing
• 43:05
  mom
• 43:05
  tutoring
• 43:05
  business,
• 43:06
  and
• 43:06
  now
• 43:07
  you're
• 43:07
  working
• 43:08
  in
• 43:08
  college
• 43:09
  counseling
• 43:11
  at
• 43:11
  Infinite
• 43:12
  Futures,
• 43:13
  which
• 43:14
  is
• 43:14
  a
• 43:14
  custom
• 43:15
  college
• 43:15
  counseling
• 43:17
  business.
• 43:19
  And
• 43:19
  you're
• 43:19
  really
• 43:20
  involved
• 43:20
  in
• 43:20
  that
• 43:20
  business.
• 43:21
  So
• 43:21
  that's
• 43:21
  exciting.
• 43:23
  And
• 43:23
  I
• 43:23
  knew
• 43:24
  that
• 43:24
  you
• 43:25
  had
• 43:25
  been
• 43:26
  brought
• 43:26
  up
• 43:27
  in
• 43:27
  somewhat
• 43:28
  of
• 43:28
  this
• 43:28
  Chinese
• 43:29
  parenting
• 43:29
  style.
• 43:30
  I
• 43:30
  think
• 43:30
  you're
• 43:30
  Korean
• 43:31
  and
• 43:32
  your
• 43:32
  husband's.
• 43:32
  Right,
• 43:32
  I'm
• 43:33
  Korean.
• 43:33
  My
• 43:33
  husband's
• 43:33
  Chinese.
• 43:34
  Yeah.
• 43:34
  Okay,
• 43:35
  great.
• 43:36
  Okay.
• 43:36
  So,
• 43:37
  you
• 43:38
  know,
• 43:38
  let'
• 43:39
  swhy
• 43:39
  don't
• 43:39
  we
• 43:39
  just
• 43:40
  start
• 43:40
  by,
• 43:42
  tell
• 43:42
  us
• 43:42
  a
• 43:42
  little
• 43:42
  bit
• 43:43
  about
• 43:43
  your
• 43:44
  upbringing.
• 43:44
  And
• 43:45
  was
• 43:45
  it
• 43:45
  in
• 43:45
  this.
• 43:46
  Would
• 43:46
  you
• 43:46
  describe
• 43:46
  it
• 43:46
  as
• 43:47
  a
• 43:47
  tiger
• 43:47
  mom
• 43:47
  upbringing?
• 43:48
  Yes,
• 43:48
  I
• 43:49
  definitely
• 43:49
  had
• 43:49
  a
• 43:49
  of
• 43:49
  ton,
• 43:50
  but
• 43:50
  I
• 43:50
  think
• 43:51
  at
• 43:51
  the
• 43:51
  time
• 43:51
  I
• 43:51
  didn't
• 43:51
  really
• 43:51
  know
• 43:52
  that.
• 43:52
  And
• 43:52
  so
• 43:52
  up
• 43:53
  through
• 43:53
  fifth
• 43:53
  grade.
• 43:54
  Well,
• 43:54
  I
• 43:54
  was
• 43:54
  born
• 43:54
  in
• 43:55
  Korea.
• 43:55
  We
• 43:55
  moved
• 43:56
  here
• 43:56
  when
• 43:56
  I
• 43:56
  was
• 43:56
  about
• 43:56
  three
• 43:56
  or
• 43:57
  four.
• 43:57
  And
• 43:58
  then
• 43:58
  through
• 43:58
  fifth
• 43:58
  grade,
• 43:59
  we
• 43:59
  lived
• 43:59
  in
• 43:59
  Andover,
• 43:59
  Massachusetts.
• 44:00
  And
• 44:00
  so
• 44:00
  I
• 44:01
  didn't
• 44:01
  have
• 44:01
  any
• 44:01
  other
• 44:01
  Asian
• 44:02
  friends.
• 44:02
  And
• 44:02
  I
• 44:02
  wasn't
• 44:03
  allowed
• 44:03
  to
• 44:03
  do
• 44:03
  play
• 44:03
  dates
• 44:04
  or
• 44:04
  sleepovers
• 44:04
  or
• 44:04
  anything
• 44:05
  like
• 44:05
  that.
• 44:05
  My
• 44:06
  dad
• 44:06
  walked
• 44:06
  around
• 44:06
  the
• 44:06
  house,
• 44:07
  girls,
• 44:07
  be
• 44:07
  ambitious.
• 44:08
  Be
• 44:08
  number
• 44:08
  one.
• 44:08
  That
• 44:09
  was
• 44:09
  kind
• 44:09
  of
• 44:09
  his
• 44:09
  motto.
• 44:10
  And
• 44:11
  we
• 44:11
  were
• 44:11
  grow
• 44:11
  up,
• 44:11
  Harvard,
• 44:12
  Dale
• 44:12
  or
• 44:12
  nothing.
• 44:13
  And
• 44:13
  no
• 44:14
  one
• 44:14
  really
• 44:14
  wanted
• 44:14
  to
• 44:14
  know
• 44:14
  what
• 44:15
  the
• 44:15
  or
• 44:15
  nothing
• 44:15
  part
• 44:15
  was.
• 44:16
  And
• 44:16
  so
• 44:16
  that's
• 44:16
  just
• 44:16
  how
• 44:17
  we
• 44:17
  were
• 44:17
  raised.
• 44:18
  We
• 44:18
  each
• 44:18
  had
• 44:18
  to
• 44:18
  pick
• 44:18
  a
• 44:18
  sport
• 44:19
  and
• 44:19
  pick
• 44:19
  an
• 44:19
  instrument
• 44:20
  and
• 44:20
  be
• 44:20
  the
• 44:21
  best.
• 44:21
  And
• 44:22
  so
• 44:22
  I
• 44:22
  am
• 44:22
  the
• 44:23
  youngest
• 44:23
  of
• 44:23
  three
• 44:23
  girls.
• 44:24
  That's
• 44:24
  just.
• 44:24
  We
• 44:25
  didn't
• 44:25
  know
• 44:25
  any
• 44:25
  better.
• 44:26
  And
• 44:26
  then
• 44:26
  in
• 44:27
  sixth
• 44:27
  grade,
• 44:28
  we
• 44:28
  moved
• 44:28
  to
• 44:29
  New
• 44:29
  York
• 44:29
  City
• 44:29
  and
• 44:30
  I
• 44:30
  joined
• 44:31
  a
• 44:31
  gifted
• 44:31
  and
• 44:31
  talented
• 44:32
  class
• 44:33
  where
• 44:34
  everyone
• 44:34
  seemed
• 44:34
  to
• 44:34
  be
• 44:34
  Asian
• 44:35
  just
• 44:35
  because
• 44:35
  of
• 44:36
  the
• 44:36
  particular
• 44:36
  part
• 44:37
  of
• 44:37
  Queens
• 44:37
  where
• 44:37
  we
• 44:38
  had
• 44:38
  moved.
• 44:39
  And
• 44:40
  all
• 44:40
  of
• 44:41
  my
• 44:41
  friends
• 44:41
  were
• 44:41
  parented
• 44:42
  the
• 44:42
  same
• 44:42
  way.
• 44:42
  And
• 44:43
  so
• 44:43
  to
• 44:43
  me
• 44:43
  it
• 44:43
  was
• 44:44
  very
• 44:44
  normal.
• 44:44
  I
• 44:44
  didn't
• 44:44
  know
• 44:45
  anything.
• 44:46
  Was
• 44:46
  it
• 44:46
  more
• 44:46
  competitive
• 44:47
  at
• 44:48
  that
• 44:48
  point?
• 44:49
  It
• 44:49
  was.
• 44:49
  I
• 44:49
  mean,
• 44:50
  my
• 44:50
  mom
• 44:50
  used
• 44:50
  to
• 44:50
  have
• 44:50
  a
• 44:50
  notebook
• 44:51
  and
• 44:51
  so
• 44:51
  after
• 44:51
  every
• 44:52
  test
• 44:52
  she'd
• 44:52
  say,
• 44:52
  what
• 44:53
  did
• 44:53
  Sanam
• 44:53
  get?
• 44:53
  What
• 44:53
  did
• 44:54
  Tamar
• 44:54
  get?
• 44:54
  What
• 44:54
  did
• 44:54
  Christine
• 44:55
  get?
• 44:55
  But
• 44:55
  luckily
• 44:56
  I
• 44:56
  always
• 44:56
  had
• 44:57
  the
• 44:57
  best
• 44:57
  grades
• 44:58
  and
• 44:58
  so
• 44:58
  I
• 44:58
  didn't
• 44:59
  mind
• 44:59
  sharing
• 44:59
  that
• 44:59
  information.
• 45:00
  If
• 45:00
  I
• 45:00
  didn't,
• 45:01
  it
• 45:01
  would
• 45:01
  have
• 45:01
  been
• 45:02
  really,
• 45:02
  really
• 45:03
  pretty
• 45:03
  hard
• 45:03
  on
• 45:03
  me,
• 45:03
  I
• 45:03
  think.
• 45:04
  I
• 45:04
  think
• 45:04
  it
• 45:04
  would
• 45:04
  have
• 45:04
  been
• 45:04
  really
• 45:05
  difficult.
• 45:06
  But
• 45:07
  I
• 45:07
  had
• 45:07
  to
• 45:07
  find
• 45:08
  out
• 45:08
  everyone
• 45:08
  else's
• 45:08
  grades
• 45:09
  because
• 45:09
  she
• 45:09
  would
• 45:09
  write
• 45:09
  it
• 45:09
  down
• 45:10
  in
• 45:10
  a
• 45:10
  notebook
• 45:10
  and
• 45:10
  keep
• 45:11
  track.
• 45:11
  So
• 45:11
  you
• 45:11
  guys,
• 45:12
  that's
• 45:12
  pretty
• 45:12
  high
• 45:12
  level.
• 45:13
  So
• 45:13
  you
• 45:13
  were
• 45:13
  competitive
• 45:13
  with
• 45:14
  each
• 45:14
  other?
• 45:14
  I
• 45:15
  think,
• 45:15
  I
• 45:15
  think
• 45:15
  everyone
• 45:15
  felt
• 45:16
  competitive
• 45:16
  with
• 45:16
  me,
• 45:16
  but
• 45:17
  it
• 45:17
  wasn't
• 45:17
  necessarily
• 45:19
  me
• 45:19
  feeling
• 45:19
  that
• 45:20
  way
• 45:20
  because
• 45:22
  I
• 45:22
  just
• 45:23
  did
• 45:23
  better.
• 45:23
  Yeah,
• 45:24
  you
• 45:25
  were
• 45:25
  the
• 45:25
  hard
• 45:25
  working.
• 45:26
  Yeah.
• 45:27
  And
• 45:27
  the
• 45:27
  academic
• 45:28
  part
• 45:28
  was
• 45:28
  very
• 45:28
  easy
• 45:29
  for
• 45:29
  me
• 45:29
  and
• 45:30
  it
• 45:30
  was
• 45:30
  just
• 45:30
  expected.
• 45:31
  My
• 45:31
  sisters
• 45:32
  worked
• 45:32
  really
• 45:32
  hard
• 45:33
  in
• 45:33
  school
• 45:33
  and
• 45:33
  so
• 45:33
  I
• 45:34
  just
• 45:34
  kind
• 45:34
  of
• 45:34
  followed
• 45:35
  what
• 45:35
  they
• 45:35
  did.
• 45:35
  Do
• 45:35
  you
• 45:35
  think
• 45:36
  it
• 45:36
  was
• 45:36
  a
• 45:36
  natural
• 45:37
  affinity
• 45:37
  towards
• 45:38
  academics
• 45:38
  or
• 45:38
  do
• 45:39
  you
• 45:39
  think
• 45:39
  all
• 45:39
  the
• 45:40
  hours
• 45:40
  and
• 45:40
  work
• 45:40
  you
• 45:40
  have
• 45:41
  had
• 45:41
  put
• 45:41
  in
• 45:42
  is
• 45:42
  what
• 45:42
  set
• 45:43
  you
• 45:43
  apart?
• 45:43
  I
• 45:44
  think
• 45:44
  it's
• 45:44
  also,
• 45:45
  I
• 45:45
  think
• 45:45
  it's
• 45:45
  nature
• 45:45
  and
• 45:46
  nurture.
• 45:46
  Right.
• 45:46
  And
• 45:47
  so
• 45:47
  we
• 45:47
  always,
• 45:47
  you
• 45:48
  know,
• 45:48
  you
• 45:48
  know,
• 45:49
  when
• 45:49
  my
• 45:50
  older
• 45:50
  daughter
• 45:50
  was
• 45:50
  born,
• 45:51
  she
• 45:51
  was
• 45:51
  just
• 45:51
  an
• 45:51
  angel,
• 45:51
  did
• 45:52
  everything
• 45:52
  right,
• 45:52
  did
• 45:52
  everything
• 45:53
  we
• 45:54
  told
• 45:54
  her
• 45:54
  to
• 45:54
  do.
• 45:54
  And
• 45:55
  they're
• 45:55
  very
• 45:55
  similar
• 45:55
  to
• 45:56
  the
• 45:56
  girls
• 45:56
  in
• 45:56
  Sophia.
• 45:57
  Sounds
• 45:58
  like
• 45:58
  Sophia.
• 45:58
  Right.
• 45:59
  But.
• 45:59
  And
• 46:00
  then
• 46:00
  my
• 46:00
  younger
• 46:00
  one,
• 46:00
  we
• 46:01
  used
• 46:01
  to
• 46:01
  describe
• 46:01
  her
• 46:01
  as
• 46:02
  a
• 46:02
  wild
• 46:02
  animal.
• 46:03
  She
• 46:03
  was
• 46:03
  just.
• 46:03
  So
• 46:04
  we
• 46:04
  ended
• 46:04
  up
• 46:04
  parenting
• 46:05
  them
• 46:05
  very
• 46:05
  differently.
• 46:06
  We
• 46:06
  always
• 46:07
  taught
• 46:07
  consequences.
• 46:08
  If
• 46:08
  you
• 46:09
  don't
• 46:09
  do
• 46:09
  what
• 46:09
  we
• 46:10
  say,
• 46:10
  there's
• 46:11
  going
• 46:11
  to
• 46:11
  be
• 46:11
  a
• 46:11
  consequence.
• 46:12
  And.
• 46:12
  Right.
• 46:12
  Just
• 46:13
  one
• 46:14
  example
• 46:14
  is
• 46:15
  eating.
• 46:16
  You
• 46:16
  eat
• 46:16
  the
• 46:16
  food
• 46:17
  we
• 46:17
  give
• 46:17
  you,
• 46:17
  there's
• 46:17
  nothing
• 46:18
  else.
• 46:18
  They're
• 46:18
  both
• 46:18
  great
• 46:19
  eaters
• 46:19
  today.
• 46:19
  They'll
• 46:20
  eat
• 46:20
  everything.
• 46:20
  And
• 46:20
  in
• 46:20
  fact,
• 46:21
  it's
• 46:21
  probably
• 46:21
  an
• 46:21
  issue.
• 46:22
  They
• 46:22
  only
• 46:22
  eat
• 46:22
  expensive
• 46:22
  food
• 46:23
  now,
• 46:24
  sandwiches,
• 46:24
  they
• 46:25
  eat
• 46:25
  like
• 46:25
  really
• 46:26
  like
• 46:26
  more
• 46:26
  high
• 46:26
  end
• 46:27
  food.
• 46:27
  And
• 46:27
  so
• 46:28
  it's.
• 46:28
  We,
• 46:29
  you
• 46:29
  know,
• 46:29
  I
• 46:29
  think
• 46:30
  I
• 46:30
  heard
• 46:30
  you
• 46:30
  talk
• 46:30
  about
• 46:31
  the
• 46:31
  three
• 46:31
  types
• 46:31
  of
• 46:31
  parenting.
• 46:32
  Authoritarian,
• 46:33
  authoritarian,
• 46:34
  authoritative,
• 46:35
  permissive.
• 46:36
  Yeah,
• 46:36
  I
• 46:36
  think
• 46:36
  we
• 46:37
  started
• 46:37
  more
• 46:37
  out
• 46:37
  on
• 46:38
  the
• 46:38
  authoritarian
• 46:39
  because
• 46:39
  my
• 46:40
  husband
• 46:40
  was
• 46:40
  raised
• 46:41
  with
• 46:41
  a
• 46:41
  tiger
• 46:41
  mom
• 46:41
  as
• 46:42
  well,
• 46:42
  probably
• 46:43
  even
• 46:43
  to
• 46:43
  a
• 46:43
  higher
• 46:44
  degree
• 46:44
  than
• 46:44
  I
• 46:44
  was.
• 46:45
  And
• 46:45
  it's
• 46:46
  kind
• 46:46
  of
• 46:46
  shifted
• 46:46
  to
• 46:47
  authoritative
• 46:47
  over
• 46:48
  the
• 46:48
  years.
• 46:48
  Just
• 46:48
  seeing
• 46:49
  kind
• 46:49
  of
• 46:49
  making
• 46:50
  mistakes
• 46:50
  as
• 46:50
  you
• 46:50
  go
• 46:50
  along.
• 46:51
  That
• 46:51
  older
• 46:51
  child
• 46:51
  is
• 46:52
  definitely
• 46:52
  the
• 46:52
  guinea
• 46:52
  pig.
• 46:53
  Mine
• 46:53
  definitely
• 46:54
  knows
• 46:54
  she
• 46:54
  is.
• 46:55
  So
• 46:55
  she's
• 46:56
  very
• 46:56
  close
• 46:56
  to
• 46:56
  my
• 46:56
  oldest
• 46:57
  sister
• 46:57
  who
• 46:57
  is
• 46:57
  definitely
• 46:58
  the
• 46:58
  guinea
• 46:58
  pig
• 46:58
  for
• 46:58
  our
• 46:59
  family
• 46:59
  as
• 46:59
  well.
• 47:00
  So
• 47:01
  yeah,
• 47:01
  it's
• 47:01
  kind
• 47:01
  of
• 47:01
  shifted
• 47:02
  through
• 47:02
  the
• 47:02
  years,
• 47:02
  but
• 47:02
  I
• 47:03
  definitely
• 47:03
  grew
• 47:03
  up
• 47:03
  in
• 47:04
  that
• 47:04
  way.
• 47:04
  Didn't
• 47:04
  know
• 47:04
  any
• 47:05
  better.
• 47:05
  But
• 47:06
  you
• 47:06
  know,
• 47:06
  I
• 47:06
  think
• 47:06
  there
• 47:06
  were
• 47:07
  a
• 47:07
  lot
• 47:07
  of
• 47:07
  pros
• 47:07
  and
• 47:07
  cons
• 47:08
  to
• 47:08
  it.
• 47:08
  Okay,
• 47:09
  well
• 47:09
  so
• 47:09
  just
• 47:10
  if
• 47:10
  in
• 47:11
  terms
• 47:11
  of
• 47:11
  saying
• 47:11
  that
• 47:11
  you
• 47:12
  grew
• 47:12
  up
• 47:12
  that
• 47:12
  way,
• 47:13
  can
• 47:13
  you
• 47:13
  give
• 47:13
  us
• 47:14
  maybe
• 47:14
  some
• 47:14
  stories
• 47:15
  that
• 47:15
  would
• 47:15
  illustrate,
• 47:16
  you
• 47:16
  know,
• 47:17
  give
• 47:17
  us
• 47:18
  some
• 47:18
  color.
• 47:18
  We.
• 47:19
  Yeah,
• 47:19
  give
• 47:19
  us
• 47:19
  a
• 47:19
  little
• 47:20
  dirt.
• 47:21
  No,
• 47:21
  but
• 47:21
  some
• 47:22
  color
• 47:22
  that
• 47:23
  sort
• 47:23
  of
• 47:23
  illustrated
• 47:24
  that
• 47:24
  you
• 47:24
  came
• 47:24
  up
• 47:25
  that
• 47:25
  way.
• 47:25
  Well,
• 47:25
  so
• 47:26
  I
• 47:26
  think
• 47:26
  a
• 47:26
  lot
• 47:26
  of,
• 47:26
  you
• 47:26
  know,
• 47:27
  95
• 47:28
  is
• 47:28
  not
• 47:28
  actually
• 47:29
  good.
• 47:29
  And
• 47:30
  so
• 47:30
  any
• 47:31
  a
• 47:31
  95,
• 47:32
  any
• 47:32
  score
• 47:32
  below
• 47:33
  100,
• 47:34
  just
• 47:34
  like
• 47:34
  Amy
• 47:34
  said,
• 47:35
  where's
• 47:35
  the,
• 47:35
  where
• 47:35
  are
• 47:36
  the
• 47:36
  other
• 47:36
  few
• 47:36
  points?
• 47:36
  Right.
• 47:37
  So
• 47:37
  she
• 47:38
  spoke
• 47:38
  in
• 47:38
  terms
• 47:38
  of
• 47:38
  A's
• 47:39
  and
• 47:39
  B's.
• 47:39
  I'm
• 47:40
  we
• 47:40
  I
• 47:40
  grew
• 47:41
  up
• 47:41
  with
• 47:41
  like
• 47:41
  out
• 47:42
  of
• 47:42
  a
• 47:42
  hundred
• 47:42
  in
• 47:42
  terms
• 47:43
  of
• 47:43
  my
• 47:43
  grading
• 47:43
  system.
• 47:44
  And
• 47:44
  so
• 47:44
  it
• 47:44
  was
• 47:44
  always
• 47:44
  where
• 47:45
  are
• 47:45
  the
• 47:45
  other
• 47:45
  few
• 47:46
  points?
• 47:46
  I
• 47:46
  actually
• 47:46
  have
• 47:47
  done
• 47:47
  that
• 47:47
  to
• 47:47
  my
• 47:47
  kids.
• 47:49
  So
• 47:49
  I,
• 47:49
  I
• 47:50
  do
• 47:50
  expect
• 47:50
  that
• 47:50
  your
• 47:51
  grades
• 47:51
  are
• 47:51
  high
• 47:51
  and
• 47:51
  but
• 47:52
  it
• 47:52
  actually
• 47:53
  depends
• 47:53
  on
• 47:53
  the
• 47:53
  subject.
• 47:53
  So
• 47:54
  my
• 47:54
  younger
• 47:54
  daughter
• 47:54
  as
• 47:54
  an
• 47:55
  example
• 47:55
  right
• 47:55
  now,
• 47:56
  she's
• 47:56
  very
• 47:56
  good
• 47:56
  at
• 47:56
  math
• 47:57
  and
• 47:57
  if
• 47:57
  she
• 47:57
  doesn't
• 47:57
  get
• 47:58
  100,
• 47:58
  it
• 47:58
  means
• 47:58
  that
• 47:58
  she
• 47:59
  may
• 47:59
  a
• 47:59
  silly
• 47:59
  mistake
• 48:00
  or
• 48:00
  she
• 48:00
  wasn't
• 48:01
  concentrating.
• 48:02
  Not
• 48:02
  that
• 48:02
  she
• 48:02
  doesn't
• 48:02
  know
• 48:03
  the
• 48:03
  material.
• 48:04
  Right.
• 48:04
  We
• 48:05
  were
• 48:05
  expected
• 48:05
  to
• 48:06
  have
• 48:06
  our
• 48:06
  math
• 48:06
  levels
• 48:07
  be
• 48:07
  a
• 48:07
  few
• 48:07
  years
• 48:07
  higher.
• 48:08
  My
• 48:08
  girls
• 48:08
  both
• 48:09
  are
• 48:09
  two
• 48:09
  years
• 48:10
  higher
• 48:10
  in
• 48:10
  math
• 48:10
  than
• 48:10
  their
• 48:11
  peers.
• 48:11
  Just
• 48:11
  like
• 48:11
  she
• 48:11
  said,
• 48:12
  I
• 48:12
  feel
• 48:13
  like
• 48:13
  it's
• 48:13
  really
• 48:13
  necessary.
• 48:14
  And
• 48:14
  so
• 48:14
  there's
• 48:15
  a
• 48:15
  lot
• 48:15
  of
• 48:15
  how
• 48:16
  she
• 48:16
  raised
• 48:16
  her
• 48:16
  kids
• 48:17
  that
• 48:17
  really
• 48:17
  resonates
• 48:18
  with
• 48:18
  me
• 48:18
  because
• 48:18
  we
• 48:19
  do
• 48:19
  something
• 48:19
  similar
• 48:20
  but
• 48:20
  we're
• 48:20
  really
• 48:21
  all
• 48:21
  about
• 48:21
  balance.
• 48:21
  And
• 48:22
  so
• 48:22
  I
• 48:23
  was
• 48:23
  not
• 48:23
  allowed
• 48:23
  to
• 48:23
  have
• 48:24
  play
• 48:24
  dates
• 48:24
  or
• 48:25
  sleepovers
• 48:25
  growing
• 48:26
  up.
• 48:26
  I
• 48:26
  remember
• 48:27
  one
• 48:27
  time,
• 48:27
  somehow
• 48:27
  I
• 48:28
  ended
• 48:28
  up
• 48:28
  at
• 48:28
  my
• 48:28
  friend's
• 48:29
  house.
• 48:29
  I
• 48:29
  think
• 48:29
  I
• 48:29
  took
• 48:30
  the
• 48:30
  bus
• 48:30
  with
• 48:30
  her.
• 48:30
  I
• 48:31
  don't
• 48:31
  know
• 48:31
  why
• 48:31
  they
• 48:31
  let
• 48:31
  me.
• 48:32
  I
• 48:32
  don't
• 48:33
  think
• 48:33
  that
• 48:33
  would
• 48:33
  happen
• 48:33
  today.
• 48:34
  But
• 48:35
  the
• 48:35
  mom
• 48:36
  didn't
• 48:36
  know
• 48:36
  I
• 48:36
  was
• 48:36
  coming.
• 48:37
  And
• 48:37
  I
• 48:38
  called
• 48:38
  my
• 48:38
  mom
• 48:38
  and
• 48:38
  asked
• 48:39
  if
• 48:39
  I
• 48:39
  could
• 48:39
  stay
• 48:39
  and
• 48:40
  stay
• 48:40
  for
• 48:40
  dinner.
• 48:40
  And
• 48:41
  they
• 48:41
  had
• 48:41
  invited
• 48:42
  me.
• 48:42
  She
• 48:43
  came.
• 48:43
  It
• 48:43
  was
• 48:43
  a
• 48:43
  scene.
• 48:44
  She
• 48:44
  took
• 48:44
  me
• 48:45
  home.
• 48:45
  He
• 48:45
  was
• 48:45
  mad
• 48:46
  I
• 48:46
  was
• 48:46
  not
• 48:46
  allowed
• 48:46
  to
• 48:46
  do
• 48:46
  that.
• 48:47
  And
• 48:48
  so
• 48:49
  that's
• 48:49
  just
• 48:50
  one
• 48:50
  example
• 48:50
  other
• 48:51
  one,
• 48:51
  she
• 48:51
  would
• 48:51
  sleep
• 48:51
  in
• 48:51
  my
• 48:51
  bed
• 48:52
  and
• 48:52
  high
• 48:52
  school
• 48:52
  so
• 48:53
  that
• 48:53
  I
• 48:53
  could
• 48:53
  not
• 48:53
  sleep
• 48:53
  in
• 48:53
  my
• 48:54
  bed.
• 48:54
  Cuz
• 48:54
  I
• 48:54
  was
• 48:54
  expected
• 48:55
  to
• 48:55
  stay
• 48:55
  up
• 48:55
  and
• 48:56
  study
• 48:56
  oh,
• 48:56
  no.
• 48:57
  But
• 48:57
  that
• 48:57
  just
• 48:57
  caused
• 48:58
  me
• 48:58
  to
• 48:58
  sleep
• 48:58
  on
• 48:58
  my
• 48:59
  desk
• 48:59
  and
• 48:59
  wake
• 48:59
  up
• 48:59
  very
• 49:00
  tired.
• 49:00
  Oh,
• 49:01
  no.
• 49:01
  And
• 49:01
  so
• 49:01
  that
• 49:02
  didn't
• 49:02
  happen
• 49:02
  all
• 49:02
  the
• 49:02
  time,
• 49:03
  but
• 49:03
  just
• 49:03
  certain
• 49:03
  times
• 49:03
  of
• 49:04
  the
• 49:04
  year
• 49:04
  or,
• 49:04
  you
• 49:05
  know,
• 49:05
  when,
• 49:05
  you
• 49:05
  know,
• 49:06
  there
• 49:06
  was
• 49:06
  a
• 49:06
  lot
• 49:06
  going
• 49:06
  on.
• 49:06
  She
• 49:07
  wanted
• 49:07
  you
• 49:07
  to
• 49:07
  stay
• 49:07
  up
• 49:07
  all
• 49:08
  night
• 49:08
  and
• 49:08
  study.
• 49:09
  Yeah.
• 49:09
  Oh,
• 49:09
  God.
• 49:10
  So
• 49:11
  that
• 49:11
  was
• 49:11
  expectation.
• 49:12
  And
• 49:12
  I
• 49:12
  was
• 49:13
  a
• 49:13
  competitive
• 49:13
  swimmer,
• 49:14
  so
• 49:15
  I
• 49:15
  swam.
• 49:15
  Like,
• 49:16
  every
• 49:16
  summer.
• 49:16
  I
• 49:16
  went
• 49:17
  down
• 49:17
  to
• 49:17
  Florida
• 49:17
  to
• 49:18
  swim
• 49:18
  to
• 49:18
  a,
• 49:18
  you
• 49:19
  know,
• 49:19
  prestigious
• 49:19
  swim
• 49:19
  camp
• 49:20
  to
• 49:20
  swim
• 49:20
  with
• 49:21
  a
• 49:21
  lot
• 49:21
  of
• 49:21
  kids
• 49:21
  who
• 49:21
  ended
• 49:22
  up
• 49:22
  being
• 49:22
  Olympians.
• 49:23
  I
• 49:23
  was
• 49:24
  nationally
• 49:24
  ranked
• 49:24
  when
• 49:24
  I
• 49:25
  was
• 49:25
  13,
• 49:25
  14.
• 49:26
  But
• 49:26
  my
• 49:27
  mom
• 49:27
  would
• 49:27
  come
• 49:27
  to
• 49:27
  my
• 49:27
  swim
• 49:28
  meets,
• 49:28
  and
• 49:29
  I
• 49:29
  could
• 49:29
  hear
• 49:29
  her
• 49:30
  from
• 49:30
  the
• 49:30
  water.
• 49:30
  Like,
• 49:31
  I
• 49:31
  could
• 49:31
  hear
• 49:31
  her
• 49:31
  voice
• 49:32
  screaming,
• 49:32
  go,
• 49:32
  Sandy.
• 49:33
  Go,
• 49:33
  Sandy.
• 49:34
  And,
• 49:35
  you
• 49:35
  know,
• 49:35
  in
• 49:35
  a
• 49:35
  frifty
• 49:36
  freestyle,
• 49:36
  which
• 49:36
  is
• 49:36
  two
• 49:37
  laps,
• 49:37
  if
• 49:37
  I
• 49:37
  took
• 49:38
  a
• 49:38
  breath,
• 49:38
  usually
• 49:39
  I
• 49:39
  didn't
• 49:39
  breathe
• 49:39
  on
• 49:39
  the
• 49:40
  way
• 49:40
  down,
• 49:40
  on
• 49:40
  the
• 49:40
  way
• 49:41
  back,
• 49:41
  I
• 49:41
  would
• 49:41
  breathe
• 49:41
  once.
• 49:42
  But
• 49:42
  I
• 49:42
  remember
• 49:43
  one
• 49:43
  particular
• 49:43
  swim
• 49:44
  meet
• 49:44
  when
• 49:44
  I
• 49:44
  was
• 49:44
  middle
• 49:45
  school,
• 49:45
  I
• 49:45
  had
• 49:45
  to
• 49:45
  take
• 49:45
  a
• 49:46
  breath
• 49:46
  down
• 49:46
  because
• 49:46
  I
• 49:47
  breathed
• 49:47
  incorrectly
• 49:48
  and
• 49:48
  started
• 49:48
  choking.
• 49:49
  So
• 49:50
  after
• 49:50
  I
• 49:51
  finished,
• 49:51
  I
• 49:51
  still
• 49:51
  did.
• 49:52
  Well,
• 49:52
  she
• 49:52
  said,
• 49:53
  why
• 49:53
  did
• 49:53
  you
• 49:53
  breathe?
• 49:54
  Oh,
• 49:54
  she
• 49:55
  even
• 49:55
  remembered
• 49:56
  because
• 49:56
  I
• 49:56
  was
• 49:56
  about
• 49:56
  to
• 49:56
  die.
• 49:58
  Sometimes
• 49:58
  you
• 49:58
  gotta
• 49:58
  breathe.
• 49:59
  And
• 49:59
  then
• 50:00
  she
• 50:00
  came
• 50:01
  to
• 50:01
  every
• 50:01
  practice
• 50:02
  and
• 50:02
  if
• 50:02
  I
• 50:02
  tried
• 50:03
  to
• 50:03
  take
• 50:03
  a
• 50:03
  break
• 50:03
  or
• 50:04
  go
• 50:04
  to
• 50:04
  the
• 50:04
  bathroom.
• 50:04
  Cause
• 50:05
  it's
• 50:05
  just
• 50:05
  very
• 50:06
  repetitive,
• 50:06
  and
• 50:07
  sometimes
• 50:07
  you
• 50:07
  just
• 50:07
  get
• 50:07
  bored.
• 50:08
  What
• 50:08
  were
• 50:08
  you
• 50:08
  doing?
• 50:09
  Why
• 50:09
  weren't
• 50:09
  you
• 50:09
  leading
• 50:10
  the
• 50:10
  lane?
• 50:10
  So
• 50:11
  it
• 50:11
  was
• 50:11
  just
• 50:11
  a
• 50:11
  lot
• 50:11
  of
• 50:12
  be
• 50:12
  number
• 50:12
  one
• 50:12
  or
• 50:12
  else.
• 50:13
  And
• 50:13
  I
• 50:13
  think
• 50:13
  the.
• 50:14
  The
• 50:14
  sport
• 50:14
  aspect
• 50:15
  was
• 50:15
  a
• 50:15
  lot
• 50:15
  more
• 50:16
  harder
• 50:16
  than
• 50:16
  me
• 50:16
  for
• 50:16
  me,
• 50:16
  because
• 50:17
  the
• 50:17
  academics
• 50:17
  came
• 50:18
  really
• 50:18
  easily,
• 50:19
  but
• 50:19
  the
• 50:19
  sports
• 50:20
  and
• 50:20
  just
• 50:20
  having
• 50:20
  that
• 50:20
  pressure
• 50:21
  and
• 50:21
  everyone
• 50:21
  knowing
• 50:22
  that
• 50:22
  your
• 50:22
  mom
• 50:22
  is
• 50:22
  the
• 50:22
  one
• 50:23
  screaming
• 50:23
  up
• 50:23
  there,
• 50:24
  it's
• 50:24
  not
• 50:24
  fun.
• 50:25
  It's
• 50:25
  not
• 50:25
  pleasant.
• 50:26
  And
• 50:26
  so
• 50:27
  I
• 50:27
  think
• 50:27
  those
• 50:27
  are
• 50:28
  just
• 50:28
  a
• 50:28
  few
• 50:28
  examples.
• 50:29
  Yeah.
• 50:29
  And
• 50:30
  I
• 50:30
  know
• 50:30
  you
• 50:31
  told
• 50:31
  me
• 50:31
  that
• 50:32
  your
• 50:32
  mom
• 50:32
  used
• 50:32
  to
• 50:33
  call
• 50:33
  you
• 50:33
  Yale
• 50:34
  or
• 50:34
  Harvard.
• 50:36
  So
• 50:36
  I
• 50:36
  went
• 50:36
  to
• 50:37
  Yale.
• 50:37
  My
• 50:37
  oldest
• 50:37
  sister
• 50:38
  went
• 50:38
  to
• 50:38
  Harvard.
• 50:38
  My
• 50:38
  middle
• 50:39
  sister
• 50:39
  went
• 50:39
  to
• 50:39
  Stanford.
• 50:41
  And
• 50:41
  so
• 50:41
  after
• 50:41
  we
• 50:42
  got
• 50:42
  into
• 50:42
  those
• 50:42
  schools,
• 50:43
  like,
• 50:43
  if
• 50:43
  family
• 50:44
  friends
• 50:44
  came
• 50:44
  over
• 50:44
  or,
• 50:45
  you
• 50:45
  know,
• 50:45
  people
• 50:45
  we
• 50:45
  didn't
• 50:46
  know,
• 50:46
  it's
• 50:46
  like,
• 50:46
  oh,
• 50:46
  yeah,
• 50:46
  there's
• 50:47
  Yale,
• 50:47
  Hubbard,
• 50:47
  Stanford.
• 50:48
  They
• 50:48
  said
• 50:48
  it
• 50:48
  jokingly.
• 50:49
  Right.
• 50:49
  Okay.
• 50:50
  It
• 50:50
  was
• 50:50
  also
• 50:50
  kind
• 50:50
  of
• 50:50
  like,
• 50:51
  okay,
• 50:51
  you
• 50:52
  know.
• 50:53
  Yeah,
• 50:53
  yeah.
• 50:54
  And
• 50:54
  we
• 50:54
  had,
• 50:55
  like,
• 50:55
  the
• 50:55
  school
• 50:55
  banners
• 50:56
  everywhere.
• 50:56
  But
• 50:57
  listen,
• 50:57
  I
• 50:58
  was
• 50:58
  all
• 50:58
  proud
• 50:58
  if
• 50:59
  my
• 50:59
  kids
• 50:59
  went
• 50:59
  to
• 50:59
  those
• 51:00
  schools.
• 51:00
  I
• 51:00
  don't
• 51:00
  even
• 51:00
  think
• 51:01
  I
• 51:01
  got
• 51:01
  accepted
• 51:01
  into
• 51:02
  a
• 51:02
  college.
• 51:03
  I
• 51:03
  would
• 51:03
  have
• 51:03
  been
• 51:04
  really
• 51:04
  proud.
• 51:04
  I.
• 51:05
  I
• 51:05
  mean,
• 51:05
  I.
• 51:05
  They
• 51:05
  were
• 51:06
  proud.
• 51:06
  We
• 51:06
  kind
• 51:06
  of
• 51:06
  just
• 51:06
  laughed
• 51:07
  about
• 51:07
  it.
• 51:07
  But
• 51:08
  I
• 51:08
  can
• 51:08
  get.
• 51:08
  That
• 51:08
  is
• 51:09
  something
• 51:09
  I
• 51:09
  remember
• 51:09
  as
• 51:09
  well.
• 51:11
  So.
• 51:12
  Yeah.
• 51:13
  So
• 51:13
  did
• 51:13
  you
• 51:13
  ever
• 51:14
  rebel
• 51:14
  at
• 51:14
  all
• 51:15
  or,
• 51:15
  yes.
• 51:16
  I
• 51:16
  remember
• 51:16
  in
• 51:16
  10th
• 51:17
  grade,
• 51:18
  I
• 51:18
  just.
• 51:19
  I.
• 51:19
  The
• 51:20
  swimming
• 51:20
  became
• 51:20
  too
• 51:20
  much
• 51:21
  because
• 51:21
  it
• 51:21
  was
• 51:21
  before
• 51:21
  school,
• 51:22
  it
• 51:22
  was
• 51:22
  after
• 51:22
  school.
• 51:23
  I
• 51:23
  wouldn't
• 51:24
  get
• 51:24
  home
• 51:24
  till
• 51:24
  8.
• 51:24
  Then
• 51:24
  I
• 51:24
  stayed
• 51:25
  up
• 51:25
  till
• 51:25
  midnight.
• 51:26
  And
• 51:27
  so
• 51:27
  just.
• 51:27
  It
• 51:27
  wasn't
• 51:27
  fun
• 51:28
  anymore.
• 51:28
  And
• 51:29
  especially
• 51:29
  I
• 51:30
  remember
• 51:30
  when
• 51:30
  my
• 51:30
  dad
• 51:30
  was
• 51:32
  very
• 51:32
  quiet,
• 51:32
  but
• 51:32
  you
• 51:33
  just
• 51:33
  knew
• 51:33
  he
• 51:33
  had
• 51:33
  those
• 51:33
  same
• 51:34
  expectations.
• 51:34
  Even
• 51:35
  though
• 51:35
  he
• 51:35
  didn't
• 51:35
  nag
• 51:36
  or,
• 51:36
  you
• 51:36
  know,
• 51:38
  he
• 51:38
  was.
• 51:38
  He
• 51:38
  didn't
• 51:38
  scream
• 51:39
  or
• 51:39
  anything
• 51:39
  like
• 51:39
  that.
• 51:39
  He
• 51:40
  was
• 51:40
  very
• 51:40
  quiet.
• 51:40
  But
• 51:41
  there
• 51:41
  was
• 51:41
  once
• 51:41
  we
• 51:41
  meet
• 51:42
  where
• 51:42
  I
• 51:42
  didn't
• 51:42
  have
• 51:42
  my
• 51:43
  best
• 51:43
  times
• 51:43
  at
• 51:43
  all
• 51:43
  because
• 51:43
  sometimes
• 51:44
  I
• 51:44
  would
• 51:44
  just
• 51:44
  psych
• 51:44
  myself
• 51:45
  out.
• 51:45
  And
• 51:46
  he
• 51:46
  was
• 51:46
  very
• 51:46
  upset
• 51:46
  with
• 51:46
  me
• 51:47
  too.
• 51:47
  So
• 51:47
  I
• 51:47
  remember
• 51:47
  throwing
• 51:48
  a
• 51:48
  fit.
• 51:48
  And
• 51:49
  then
• 51:49
  the
• 51:49
  next
• 51:49
  week
• 51:49
  I
• 51:49
  said,
• 51:49
  I'm
• 51:50
  done.
• 51:50
  I'm
• 51:50
  not
• 51:50
  swimming
• 51:50
  again.
• 51:51
  And
• 51:51
  so
• 51:51
  I
• 51:52
  think
• 51:52
  that
• 51:52
  was
• 51:52
  actually
• 51:53
  like,
• 51:53
  kind
• 51:53
  of
• 51:53
  a
• 51:53
  changing
• 51:54
  point
• 51:55
  for
• 51:55
  our
• 51:55
  family
• 51:56
  also.
• 51:57
  But
• 51:57
  after
• 51:57
  six
• 51:57
  months
• 51:58
  of
• 51:58
  not
• 51:58
  swimming,
• 51:59
  I
• 52:00
  went
• 52:00
  back
• 52:00
  and
• 52:00
  said,
• 52:00
  I
• 52:00
  want
• 52:01
  to
• 52:01
  swim
• 52:01
  again.
• 52:01
  Right.
• 52:03
  So
• 52:03
  kind
• 52:04
  of
• 52:04
  a
• 52:04
  lot
• 52:04
  of
• 52:04
  similarities,
• 52:05
  but
• 52:06
  it
• 52:06
  was.
• 52:06
  I
• 52:06
  was
• 52:07
  just
• 52:07
  too
• 52:07
  tired,
• 52:07
  and
• 52:07
  I
• 52:07
  was
• 52:08
  seeing
• 52:08
  all
• 52:08
  my
• 52:08
  friends,
• 52:08
  like,
• 52:09
  hang
• 52:09
  out
• 52:09
  after
• 52:10
  school,
• 52:11
  you
• 52:11
  know,
• 52:11
  just,
• 52:12
  you
• 52:12
  know,
• 52:13
  like,
• 52:13
  people
• 52:13
  played
• 52:14
  video
• 52:14
  games.
• 52:15
  I
• 52:15
  didn't
• 52:15
  know
• 52:15
  how
• 52:16
  because
• 52:16
  I
• 52:16
  never
• 52:16
  had
• 52:16
  one.
• 52:17
  To
• 52:18
  this
• 52:18
  day,
• 52:18
  I'm
• 52:18
  tempted
• 52:19
  to
• 52:19
  buy
• 52:19
  myself
• 52:19
  a
• 52:19
  Super
• 52:20
  Mario
• 52:20
  Little
• 52:20
  Game
• 52:20
  Boy.
• 52:21
  But,
• 52:21
  like,
• 52:21
  I'm,
• 52:22
  like,
• 52:22
  47
• 52:22
  now,
• 52:23
  so.
• 52:24
  So,
• 52:24
  yeah,
• 52:24
  I
• 52:24
  felt
• 52:25
  like
• 52:25
  I
• 52:25
  had
• 52:25
  missed
• 52:25
  out
• 52:25
  a
• 52:25
  lot.
• 52:26
  But
• 52:26
  after
• 52:26
  a
• 52:26
  few
• 52:26
  weeks
• 52:27
  of
• 52:27
  going
• 52:27
  to
• 52:27
  McDonald's
• 52:28
  after
• 52:28
  school,
• 52:28
  I'm
• 52:28
  like,
• 52:29
  what
• 52:29
  are
• 52:29
  these
• 52:29
  people
• 52:29
  doing?
• 52:29
  They're
• 52:30
  like.
• 52:30
  They're,
• 52:30
  like,
• 52:31
  gonna
• 52:31
  make
• 52:31
  nothing
• 52:31
  of
• 52:31
  themselves.
• 52:32
  And
• 52:32
  so
• 52:32
  what
• 52:32
  are
• 52:32
  you
• 52:32
  doing?
• 52:33
  What
• 52:33
  am
• 52:33
  I
• 52:33
  missing?
• 52:34
  And
• 52:34
  then,
• 52:34
  you
• 52:34
  know,
• 52:34
  I
• 52:35
  think
• 52:35
  I
• 52:35
  held
• 52:35
  out
• 52:35
  for
• 52:35
  six
• 52:36
  months
• 52:36
  just
• 52:36
  out
• 52:36
  of
• 52:37
  spite.
• 52:37
  Yeah.
• 52:38
  But
• 52:38
  I
• 52:38
  did
• 52:38
  miss
• 52:39
  it.
• 52:39
  And
• 52:39
  I
• 52:39
  had
• 52:39
  a
• 52:39
  lot
• 52:40
  of
• 52:40
  friends
• 52:40
  that
• 52:40
  I
• 52:40
  missed
• 52:41
  from
• 52:41
  swimming.
• 52:41
  So
• 52:41
  I
• 52:41
  did
• 52:41
  go
• 52:42
  back.
• 52:42
  But
• 52:42
  that
• 52:42
  six
• 52:43
  months
• 52:43
  was
• 52:43
  a
• 52:43
  big
• 52:43
  deal
• 52:44
  in
• 52:44
  terms
• 52:44
  of
• 52:44
  my.
• 52:45
  My
• 52:45
  swimming
• 52:45
  ability.
• 52:46
  And,
• 52:46
  like,
• 52:46
  kids
• 52:47
  keep
• 52:47
  moving
• 52:47
  forward.
• 52:48
  Yeah.
• 52:48
  So
• 52:49
  in
• 52:49
  swimming,
• 52:49
  if
• 52:49
  you
• 52:49
  don't
• 52:50
  swim
• 52:50
  even
• 52:50
  for
• 52:50
  a
• 52:50
  few
• 52:50
  days,
• 52:51
  you
• 52:51
  feel
• 52:51
  really
• 52:51
  weird
• 52:51
  in
• 52:52
  the
• 52:52
  water.
• 52:53
  So
• 52:53
  it
• 52:54
  did
• 52:54
  set
• 52:54
  me
• 52:54
  back.
• 52:55
  But,
• 52:55
  you
• 52:55
  know,
• 52:55
  I
• 52:55
  was
• 52:55
  still
• 52:56
  the
• 52:56
  captain
• 52:56
  of
• 52:56
  my
• 52:56
  swim
• 52:56
  team
• 52:57
  at,
• 52:57
  you
• 52:57
  know,
• 52:57
  my.
• 52:58
  Out
• 52:58
  of
• 52:58
  my
• 52:59
  private
• 53:00
  team
• 53:00
  and
• 53:00
  my
• 53:00
  high
• 53:00
  school
• 53:01
  team.
• 53:01
  And
• 53:01
  so
• 53:01
  it
• 53:01
  was
• 53:01
  fine,
• 53:02
  but
• 53:02
  it
• 53:02
  was.
• 53:04
  Yeah,
• 53:04
  it
• 53:04
  was
• 53:04
  challenging.
• 53:05
  So
• 53:05
  you
• 53:05
  don't
• 53:06
  think
• 53:07
  that
• 53:07
  missing
• 53:08
  out
• 53:08
  on
• 53:08
  some
• 53:08
  of
• 53:08
  the
• 53:09
  social
• 53:09
  elements
• 53:10
  like
• 53:10
  sleepovers
• 53:11
  and
• 53:11
  play
• 53:11
  dates
• 53:11
  and,
• 53:12
  like,
• 53:12
  hanging
• 53:13
  out
• 53:13
  after
• 53:13
  school,
• 53:13
  that
• 53:14
  didn't.
• 53:14
  Do
• 53:15
  you
• 53:15
  feel
• 53:15
  like
• 53:15
  as
• 53:15
  an
• 53:15
  adult,
• 53:16
  those
• 53:16
  things
• 53:17
  were
• 53:17
  harder
• 53:17
  or
• 53:18
  you
• 53:18
  just
• 53:18
  sort
• 53:18
  of
• 53:18
  like.
• 53:19
  Like
• 53:19
  the
• 53:19
  other
• 53:20
  things
• 53:20
  were
• 53:20
  more
• 53:20
  important
• 53:21
  to
• 53:21
  you
• 53:22
  at
• 53:22
  the
• 53:22
  time?
• 53:22
  I
• 53:23
  wasn't
• 53:24
  bothered
• 53:24
  by
• 53:25
  it
• 53:25
  through
• 53:25
  middle
• 53:25
  school.
• 53:25
  For
• 53:26
  the
• 53:26
  most
• 53:26
  part.
• 53:26
  There
• 53:27
  were
• 53:27
  times
• 53:27
  here
• 53:28
  and
• 53:28
  there
• 53:28
  where
• 53:28
  I
• 53:28
  was.
• 53:29
  But
• 53:29
  then
• 53:29
  high
• 53:30
  school,
• 53:30
  I
• 53:30
  just
• 53:30
  started
• 53:30
  feeling
• 53:31
  FOMO
• 53:31
  a
• 53:31
  little
• 53:32
  bit
• 53:32
  more.
• 53:33
  I
• 53:33
  made
• 53:33
  up
• 53:33
  for
• 53:33
  it
• 53:33
  in
• 53:34
  college.
• 53:34
  I.
• 53:34
  I
• 53:34
  partied
• 53:35
  pretty.
• 53:35
  Pretty
• 53:36
  hard.
• 53:36
  And
• 53:36
  so
• 53:37
  I
• 53:37
  think
• 53:37
  I,
• 53:38
  you
• 53:38
  know,
• 53:38
  overall,
• 53:39
  had.
• 53:39
  You
• 53:39
  know,
• 53:39
  my
• 53:40
  childhood
• 53:40
  was
• 53:40
  fine.
• 53:41
  Yeah.
• 53:41
  If
• 53:41
  I
• 53:41
  had
• 53:41
  to
• 53:41
  use
• 53:42
  a
• 53:42
  word
• 53:42
  to
• 53:42
  describe
• 53:43
  it,
• 53:43
  would
• 53:43
  it
• 53:43
  be.
• 53:43
  It
• 53:44
  would
• 53:44
  be
• 53:44
  exactly
• 53:44
  exhausting.
• 53:45
  I
• 53:45
  was
• 53:45
  just
• 53:45
  always
• 53:45
  tired.
• 53:46
  We
• 53:47
  didn't
• 53:47
  have
• 53:47
  a
• 53:47
  lot
• 53:47
  of
• 53:47
  unstructured
• 53:48
  time
• 53:48
  either.
• 53:49
  We
• 53:49
  weren't
• 53:49
  made
• 53:50
  to
• 53:50
  practice
• 53:51
  a
• 53:51
  few
• 53:51
  hours
• 53:51
  a
• 53:51
  day.
• 53:51
  In
• 53:51
  terms
• 53:52
  of
• 53:52
  our
• 53:52
  instruments,
• 53:52
  it
• 53:52
  was
• 53:53
  one
• 53:53
  hour
• 53:53
  a
• 53:53
  day.
• 53:53
  Okay.
• 53:54
  Okay.
• 53:54
  But
• 53:55
  oftentimes,
• 53:55
  we.
• 53:56
  We
• 53:56
  lived
• 53:56
  in
• 53:56
  the
• 53:56
  suburbs.
• 53:56
  In
• 53:57
  Andover,
• 53:57
  if
• 53:57
  my
• 53:57
  mom
• 53:57
  had
• 53:58
  to
• 53:58
  go
• 53:58
  pick
• 53:58
  up
• 53:58
  one
• 53:58
  of
• 53:58
  my
• 53:58
  sisters,
• 53:59
  I
• 54:00
  was
• 54:00
  afraid
• 54:00
  of
• 54:00
  being
• 54:00
  home
• 54:00
  alone.
• 54:01
  I.
• 54:01
  I
• 54:01
  don't
• 54:01
  like
• 54:01
  being
• 54:02
  alone.
• 54:02
  Yeah.
• 54:02
  And
• 54:03
  so
• 54:03
  I
• 54:03
  would,
• 54:03
  like,
• 54:04
  kind
• 54:04
  of
• 54:04
  crouch
• 54:04
  in
• 54:05
  the
• 54:05
  corner
• 54:05
  and
• 54:05
  cry
• 54:05
  the
• 54:05
  whole
• 54:06
  time
• 54:06
  she
• 54:06
  was
• 54:06
  gone.
• 54:06
  And
• 54:07
  then
• 54:07
  I'd
• 54:07
  come
• 54:07
  back,
• 54:07
  and
• 54:07
  then
• 54:08
  as
• 54:08
  soon
• 54:08
  as
• 54:08
  I
• 54:08
  heard
• 54:08
  her
• 54:09
  in
• 54:09
  the
• 54:09
  driveway,
• 54:09
  I'd
• 54:09
  go
• 54:09
  back
• 54:10
  to
• 54:10
  the
• 54:10
  piano.
• 54:10
  So
• 54:11
  I
• 54:11
  found
• 54:11
  my
• 54:11
  ways
• 54:11
  to
• 54:12
  rebel
• 54:12
  and
• 54:12
  not
• 54:13
  actually
• 54:13
  do
• 54:13
  what
• 54:13
  she
• 54:14
  said.
• 54:14
  But
• 54:14
  then
• 54:14
  she
• 54:15
  would
• 54:15
  kind
• 54:15
  of
• 54:15
  know
• 54:15
  that
• 54:15
  I
• 54:16
  wasn't
• 54:16
  practicing
• 54:16
  properly,
• 54:17
  because
• 54:17
  if
• 54:17
  I
• 54:17
  had
• 54:18
  what
• 54:18
  we
• 54:18
  called
• 54:18
  a
• 54:18
  reject
• 54:19
  at
• 54:20
  my
• 54:20
  next
• 54:20
  piano
• 54:21
  lesson,
• 54:21
  meaning
• 54:22
  if
• 54:22
  I
• 54:22
  had
• 54:22
  to
• 54:23
  replay
• 54:23
  a
• 54:23
  song,
• 54:23
  it's
• 54:24
  because
• 54:24
  I
• 54:24
  didn't
• 54:24
  do
• 54:24
  it
• 54:24
  perfectly.
• 54:25
  And
• 54:25
  so
• 54:25
  she.
• 54:26
  The
• 54:26
  first
• 54:26
  question
• 54:26
  after
• 54:26
  every
• 54:27
  piano
• 54:27
  lesson
• 54:27
  would
• 54:27
  be,
• 54:28
  how
• 54:28
  many
• 54:28
  rejects
• 54:28
  did
• 54:28
  you
• 54:29
  have?
• 54:29
  Oh,
• 54:29
  no.
• 54:30
  So
• 54:31
  those.
• 54:31
  Those
• 54:31
  are
• 54:31
  not
• 54:31
  good.
• 54:32
  And
• 54:32
  so.
• 54:33
  Yeah,
• 54:34
  so.
• 54:34
  So
• 54:34
  would
• 54:35
  you
• 54:35
  say
• 54:35
  the
• 54:35
  good
• 54:35
  part.
• 54:36
  What
• 54:36
  would
• 54:36
  the
• 54:36
  good
• 54:37
  parts
• 54:37
  of
• 54:37
  being
• 54:37
  raised
• 54:38
  this
• 54:38
  way
• 54:38
  be?
• 54:38
  And
• 54:39
  what
• 54:39
  are
• 54:39
  maybe
• 54:39
  some
• 54:40
  of
• 54:40
  the
• 54:40
  negative
• 54:40
  parts
• 54:40
  from
• 54:41
  having.
• 54:42
  Just
• 54:42
  for
• 54:42
  you
• 54:42
  personally?
• 54:44
  I
• 54:45
  think
• 54:45
  the
• 54:45
  pros
• 54:45
  are
• 54:45
  that
• 54:46
  right
• 54:46
  now
• 54:47
  it
• 54:47
  taught
• 54:47
  me
• 54:48
  a
• 54:48
  lot
• 54:48
  of
• 54:48
  rigor.
• 54:49
  I
• 54:49
  think
• 54:49
  that's
• 54:49
  really
• 54:49
  important,
• 54:50
  and
• 54:50
  I
• 54:50
  think
• 54:50
  it's
• 54:50
  important
• 54:51
  for
• 54:51
  kids,
• 54:51
  too.
• 54:52
  You
• 54:52
  talk
• 54:52
  about
• 54:53
  permissive
• 54:53
  parenting.
• 54:54
  I'm
• 54:54
  not
• 54:54
  that
• 54:55
  big
• 54:55
  a
• 54:55
  fan
• 54:55
  of
• 54:55
  that,
• 54:56
  because
• 54:56
  I
• 54:56
  see
• 54:56
  a
• 54:56
  lot
• 54:56
  of
• 54:57
  my
• 54:57
  kids
• 54:57
  and
• 54:58
  their
• 54:58
  friends
• 54:59
  and
• 54:59
  the
• 54:59
  different
• 54:59
  parenting
• 55:00
  styles.
• 55:03
  I
• 55:03
  feel
• 55:03
  like
• 55:03
  the
• 55:04
  kids
• 55:04
  who
• 55:05
  have
• 55:05
  those
• 55:05
  permissive
• 55:06
  parents,
• 55:06
  they're
• 55:06
  just
• 55:07
  doing
• 55:07
  things
• 55:08
  that
• 55:08
  are
• 55:08
  not
• 55:08
  age
• 55:08
  appropriate.
• 55:11
  I
• 55:11
  don't
• 55:11
  agree
• 55:11
  with
• 55:11
  it.
• 55:11
  And
• 55:12
  then
• 55:12
  their
• 55:12
  kids
• 55:12
  are
• 55:12
  just
• 55:13
  kind
• 55:13
  of
• 55:13
  lost.
• 55:14
  Some
• 55:14
  of
• 55:14
  them,
• 55:14
  actually,
• 55:15
  It's.
• 55:15
  They're,
• 55:15
  like,
• 55:16
  screaming
• 55:16
  for
• 55:16
  attention,
• 55:17
  and
• 55:17
  they're
• 55:17
  just
• 55:17
  not
• 55:17
  getting
• 55:18
  it
• 55:18
  from
• 55:18
  their
• 55:18
  parents.
• 55:18
  There
• 55:19
  are
• 55:19
  no
• 55:19
  boundaries.
• 55:20
  And
• 55:20
  so
• 55:21
  I
• 55:21
  think
• 55:21
  it
• 55:21
  did
• 55:21
  teach
• 55:22
  me,
• 55:22
  you
• 55:23
  know,
• 55:23
  just
• 55:24
  to
• 55:24
  be
• 55:24
  organized,
• 55:24
  structured,
• 55:25
  work
• 55:25
  hard.
• 55:26
  And
• 55:26
  it
• 55:26
  taught
• 55:27
  me
• 55:27
  most
• 55:27
  of
• 55:27
  all,
• 55:28
  it
• 55:28
  taught
• 55:28
  me
• 55:28
  rigor,
• 55:29
  which
• 55:29
  we're
• 55:29
  trying
• 55:29
  to
• 55:29
  instill
• 55:30
  in
• 55:30
  our
• 55:30
  own
• 55:30
  kids,
• 55:31
  and
• 55:31
  I
• 55:31
  think
• 55:31
  that's
• 55:31
  really
• 55:32
  important.
• 55:32
  Component
• 55:32
  for
• 55:33
  success
• 55:33
  also.
• 55:33
  Yeah,
• 55:34
  absolutely.
• 55:35
  And
• 55:36
  so
• 55:36
  those
• 55:37
  were
• 55:37
  some
• 55:37
  of
• 55:37
  the
• 55:37
  good
• 55:38
  things.
• 55:38
  What
• 55:39
  were
• 55:39
  some
• 55:39
  of
• 55:39
  the
• 55:39
  negatives
• 55:40
  in
• 55:40
  your
• 55:40
  mind
• 55:41
  looking
• 55:41
  back
• 55:42
  that
• 55:42
  kind
• 55:42
  of
• 55:43
  caused
• 55:43
  you
• 55:43
  to
• 55:43
  change
• 55:44
  how
• 55:44
  you
• 55:45
  decided?
• 55:45
  So
• 55:45
  I
• 55:46
  think
• 55:46
  I
• 55:46
  have
• 55:47
  a
• 55:47
  lot
• 55:47
  of
• 55:47
  trauma
• 55:47
  from
• 55:47
  the
• 55:48
  swim
• 55:48
  thing.
• 55:48
  And
• 55:48
  so
• 55:48
  I
• 55:49
  remember
• 55:49
  so
• 55:49
  many,
• 55:50
  like,
• 55:50
  Saturday
• 55:51
  mornings
• 55:51
  where
• 55:52
  I
• 55:52
  prayed
• 55:52
  my
• 55:52
  mom's
• 55:53
  alarm
• 55:53
  wouldn't
• 55:53
  go
• 55:53
  off
• 55:54
  because
• 55:54
  I
• 55:54
  didn't
• 55:54
  want
• 55:54
  to
• 55:54
  wake
• 55:55
  up
• 55:55
  at
• 55:55
  5
• 55:55
  or
• 55:55
  5:30
• 55:56
  in
• 55:56
  the
• 55:56
  morning.
• 55:56
  But
• 55:57
  without
• 55:57
  fail,
• 55:57
  she
• 55:58
  never
• 55:58
  hesitated
• 55:59
  to
• 55:59
  wake
• 55:59
  up
• 55:59
  on
• 55:59
  time.
• 56:00
  I
• 56:00
  pretend
• 56:01
  that
• 56:01
  was
• 56:01
  deep
• 56:01
  in
• 56:02
  sleep.
• 56:03
  So
• 56:04
  it's.
• 56:05
  So
• 56:05
  it's
• 56:05
  definitely.
• 56:06
  It
• 56:06
  taught.
• 56:06
  The
• 56:07
  bad
• 56:07
  things
• 56:07
  just
• 56:08
  were
• 56:08
  just
• 56:08
  the
• 56:08
  exhaustion.
• 56:09
  And
• 56:10
  I
• 56:10
  don't
• 56:10
  like
• 56:10
  being
• 56:11
  nagged.
• 56:12
  And
• 56:13
  I
• 56:13
  remember
• 56:13
  all
• 56:13
  those
• 56:14
  winters
• 56:14
  where
• 56:15
  my
• 56:15
  hair
• 56:15
  would
• 56:16
  be
• 56:16
  freezing,
• 56:16
  I'd
• 56:16
  be
• 56:16
  waiting
• 56:16
  for
• 56:17
  my
• 56:17
  parents
• 56:17
  to
• 56:17
  pick
• 56:17
  me
• 56:18
  up.
• 56:18
  So
• 56:18
  I
• 56:18
  have
• 56:18
  some
• 56:18
  negative
• 56:19
  associations
• 56:19
  with
• 56:20
  swimming.
• 56:21
  And
• 56:21
  so
• 56:22
  when
• 56:22
  we
• 56:22
  finally
• 56:23
  moved
• 56:23
  to
• 56:23
  Abu
• 56:23
  Dhabi
• 56:24
  after
• 56:24
  the
• 56:25
  younger
• 56:25
  one
• 56:25
  was
• 56:25
  born,
• 56:25
  she
• 56:26
  was
• 56:26
  actually
• 56:26
  born
• 56:26
  over
• 56:26
  there.
• 56:27
  Um,
• 56:28
  there's
• 56:28
  nothing
• 56:29
  to
• 56:29
  do
• 56:29
  but
• 56:29
  swim.
• 56:29
  So
• 56:30
  then
• 56:30
  that's
• 56:30
  when
• 56:30
  I
• 56:30
  really
• 56:30
  started
• 56:31
  picking
• 56:31
  up.
• 56:31
  Picking
• 56:32
  it
• 56:32
  up
• 56:32
  again,
• 56:32
  but
• 56:32
  doing
• 56:33
  it
• 56:33
  for
• 56:33
  enjoyment
• 56:33
  for
• 56:33
  the
• 56:33
  first
• 56:34
  time.
• 56:34
  Yes.
• 56:34
  So
• 56:34
  I
• 56:35
  fell
• 56:35
  back
• 56:35
  and
• 56:35
  I
• 56:35
  was
• 56:35
  swimming.
• 56:36
  That's
• 56:36
  nice.
• 56:36
  But
• 56:37
  I
• 56:37
  think
• 56:37
  with
• 56:37
  my
• 56:37
  kids,
• 56:37
  we're
• 56:38
  trying
• 56:38
  to
• 56:38
  create
• 56:38
  balance.
• 56:39
  With
• 56:40
  my
• 56:40
  older
• 56:40
  one,
• 56:41
  we
• 56:41
  were
• 56:41
  very
• 56:41
  strict
• 56:41
  from
• 56:42
  a
• 56:42
  young.
• 56:42
  From.
• 56:43
  From
• 56:44
  when
• 56:44
  she
• 56:44
  was
• 56:44
  very
• 56:44
  little.
• 56:45
  We
• 56:45
  started
• 56:46
  practicing
• 56:46
  and
• 56:47
  doing
• 56:47
  a
• 56:47
  lot
• 56:47
  of
• 56:47
  testing
• 56:48
  stuff
• 56:48
  with
• 56:48
  testing
• 56:49
  mom
• 56:49
  material
• 56:49
  when
• 56:50
  she
• 56:50
  was
• 56:50
  little.
• 56:50
  And
• 56:51
  I
• 56:51
  think
• 56:51
  she
• 56:51
  kind
• 56:52
  of.
• 56:52
  And
• 56:52
  this
• 56:52
  might
• 56:53
  be
• 56:53
  a
• 56:53
  lot
• 56:53
  of
• 56:53
  just
• 56:54
  her
• 56:54
  natural
• 56:54
  personality.
• 56:55
  She's
• 56:56
  a
• 56:56
  perfectionist.
• 56:57
  But
• 56:57
  then
• 56:57
  we
• 56:57
  started
• 56:57
  seeing
• 56:58
  anxiety
• 56:58
  kind
• 56:59
  of
• 56:59
  enter
• 56:59
  the
• 56:59
  equation
• 57:00
  when
• 57:00
  she
• 57:00
  didn't
• 57:00
  get
• 57:00
  something
• 57:01
  right.
• 57:02
  And
• 57:02
  we
• 57:03
  put
• 57:03
  her
• 57:03
  in
• 57:03
  a
• 57:03
  pink
• 57:03
  tutu
• 57:04
  when
• 57:04
  she
• 57:04
  was
• 57:04
  2
• 57:04
  because
• 57:04
  we
• 57:05
  thought
• 57:05
  it
• 57:05
  was
• 57:05
  cute.
• 57:05
  Sent
• 57:06
  her
• 57:06
  to
• 57:06
  a
• 57:06
  ballet
• 57:06
  class.
• 57:07
  She
• 57:07
  came
• 57:07
  home
• 57:08
  and
• 57:08
  went
• 57:08
  into
• 57:09
  her
• 57:09
  room
• 57:09
  and
• 57:09
  practiced
• 57:10
  for
• 57:10
  an
• 57:10
  hour.
• 57:11
  And
• 57:11
  so,
• 57:12
  like
• 57:13
  at
• 57:13
  2,
• 57:13
  and
• 57:14
  so
• 57:14
  we're
• 57:14
  like,
• 57:14
  oh.
• 57:15
  And
• 57:15
  then,
• 57:15
  you
• 57:15
  know,
• 57:16
  it.
• 57:16
  It
• 57:16
  just.
• 57:16
  She's
• 57:17
  still
• 57:17
  a
• 57:17
  ballerina
• 57:18
  to
• 57:18
  this
• 57:18
  day.
• 57:18
  But
• 57:19
  it
• 57:19
  got
• 57:19
  to
• 57:19
  the
• 57:19
  point
• 57:19
  where
• 57:20
  she
• 57:20
  was
• 57:20
  at
• 57:20
  a
• 57:20
  very
• 57:21
  serious
• 57:21
  ballet
• 57:21
  school.
• 57:22
  And.
• 57:22
  And
• 57:22
  it's.
• 57:23
  Ballet
• 57:23
  teaches
• 57:23
  you
• 57:24
  it's
• 57:24
  all
• 57:24
  about
• 57:24
  perfection
• 57:25
  and
• 57:25
  discipline.
• 57:25
  And
• 57:26
  when
• 57:26
  you're
• 57:26
  already
• 57:26
  a
• 57:27
  perfectionist
• 57:27
  and
• 57:27
  there's
• 57:28
  a
• 57:28
  little
• 57:28
  bit
• 57:28
  of
• 57:28
  anxiety
• 57:29
  and,
• 57:29
  you
• 57:30
  know,
• 57:30
  ballet
• 57:30
  teaches
• 57:30
  you
• 57:31
  very
• 57:31
  quickly
• 57:31
  that
• 57:31
  life's
• 57:32
  not
• 57:32
  fair.
• 57:32
  Like,
• 57:33
  you
• 57:33
  work
• 57:33
  harder,
• 57:33
  you
• 57:34
  have
• 57:34
  the
• 57:34
  musicality,
• 57:34
  you
• 57:35
  can
• 57:35
  pick
• 57:35
  up
• 57:35
  the
• 57:35
  choreo,
• 57:36
  but
• 57:36
  your
• 57:36
  feet
• 57:36
  might
• 57:36
  not
• 57:37
  be
• 57:37
  the
• 57:37
  certain
• 57:37
  shape.
• 57:38
  So
• 57:38
  she
• 57:38
  might
• 57:38
  get
• 57:38
  the
• 57:39
  lead
• 57:39
  casting
• 57:39
  even
• 57:39
  though
• 57:40
  she
• 57:40
  has
• 57:40
  no
• 57:40
  work
• 57:41
  ethic.
• 57:41
  And
• 57:41
  so
• 57:42
  she
• 57:42
  learned
• 57:42
  so
• 57:42
  many
• 57:43
  life
• 57:43
  lessons
• 57:43
  really
• 57:43
  early,
• 57:44
  but
• 57:44
  it's
• 57:44
  really,
• 57:45
  the
• 57:45
  anxiety
• 57:45
  started
• 57:46
  creeping
• 57:46
  in.
• 57:46
  That
• 57:46
  made
• 57:47
  us
• 57:47
  really
• 57:47
  nervous,
• 57:48
  and
• 57:48
  so
• 57:48
  we
• 57:48
  had
• 57:48
  to
• 57:49
  show
• 57:49
  shift
• 57:49
  a
• 57:49
  little
• 57:49
  bit.
• 57:50
  Okay.
• 57:50
  And
• 57:50
  then
• 57:50
  my
• 57:51
  younger
• 57:51
  one,
• 57:53
  I
• 57:53
  said
• 57:53
  that,
• 57:54
  you
• 57:54
  know,
• 57:54
  we've
• 57:54
  described
• 57:54
  her
• 57:54
  as
• 57:54
  a
• 57:55
  wild
• 57:55
  animal.
• 57:55
  She
• 57:55
  was
• 57:55
  just
• 57:55
  a
• 57:56
  naughty
• 57:56
  kid.
• 57:56
  Yeah.
• 57:57
  And
• 57:57
  so
• 57:57
  we
• 57:57
  had
• 57:58
  to
• 57:58
  teach
• 57:58
  her
• 57:58
  consequences
• 57:59
  without
• 57:59
  fail.
• 58:00
  So
• 58:00
  even
• 58:00
  though
• 58:00
  it
• 58:00
  was
• 58:00
  much
• 58:01
  harder
• 58:01
  parenting
• 58:02
  her,
• 58:03
  I
• 58:03
  think
• 58:04
  the
• 58:04
  fact
• 58:04
  that
• 58:04
  we
• 58:04
  stuck
• 58:05
  to
• 58:05
  it,
• 58:05
  and
• 58:05
  if
• 58:06
  we
• 58:06
  threaten
• 58:06
  something
• 58:07
  like,
• 58:07
  you
• 58:07
  cannot
• 58:07
  have
• 58:07
  xyz,
• 58:08
  we
• 58:09
  actually.
• 58:10
  We
• 58:11
  stuck
• 58:11
  to
• 58:11
  it
• 58:12
  because
• 58:12
  parents
• 58:12
  threaten
• 58:13
  all
• 58:13
  the
• 58:13
  time,
• 58:14
  actually
• 58:14
  walk
• 58:14
  the
• 58:14
  walk.
• 58:15
  We
• 58:15
  walk
• 58:15
  the
• 58:15
  walk,
• 58:16
  Right.
• 58:16
  So
• 58:17
  it
• 58:17
  was
• 58:17
  very
• 58:18
  difficult.
• 58:18
  But
• 58:18
  I
• 58:18
  think
• 58:18
  it
• 58:18
  helped
• 58:19
  that
• 58:19
  my
• 58:19
  husband
• 58:19
  and
• 58:19
  I
• 58:19
  were
• 58:20
  on
• 58:20
  the
• 58:20
  same
• 58:20
  page,
• 58:20
  because
• 58:20
  now
• 58:21
  she's
• 58:21
  lovely.
• 58:22
  So.
• 58:22
  But
• 58:22
  it
• 58:22
  was
• 58:22
  really
• 58:22
  from
• 58:23
  the
• 58:23
  age
• 58:23
  of
• 58:23
  like,
• 58:23
  one
• 58:24
  to
• 58:24
  age
• 58:24
  five
• 58:25
  where
• 58:25
  she
• 58:25
  was.
• 58:26
  She
• 58:26
  was
• 58:26
  a
• 58:26
  little
• 58:27
  bit
• 58:27
  of
• 58:27
  a
• 58:27
  nut,
• 58:27
  pushing
• 58:27
  boundaries.
• 58:28
  And
• 58:28
  in
• 58:28
  the
• 58:29
  book,
• 58:29
  I
• 58:29
  think
• 58:29
  Lulu
• 58:30
  had
• 58:30
  a
• 58:30
  private
• 58:30
  school
• 58:31
  interview
• 58:32
  when
• 58:32
  she
• 58:32
  was
• 58:32
  little,
• 58:33
  right.
• 58:33
  And
• 58:33
  she
• 58:33
  pretended
• 58:34
  she
• 58:34
  couldn't
• 58:34
  count.
• 58:34
  She
• 58:35
  said
• 58:35
  the
• 58:35
  numbers
• 58:35
  in
• 58:35
  a
• 58:35
  different
• 58:36
  order.
• 58:36
  Mine
• 58:37
  actually
• 58:37
  went
• 58:37
  and
• 58:37
  pretended
• 58:38
  she
• 58:38
  couldn't
• 58:38
  speak.
• 58:39
  And
• 58:39
  so
• 58:40
  we,
• 58:40
  you
• 58:41
  know,
• 58:41
  her
• 58:41
  older
• 58:41
  sister
• 58:42
  already
• 58:42
  got
• 58:42
  into
• 58:43
  to
• 58:43
  private
• 58:43
  school.
• 58:44
  Right.
• 58:44
  And
• 58:45
  luckily,
• 58:46
  I.
• 58:47
  We
• 58:48
  just
• 58:48
  lucked
• 58:48
  out
• 58:48
  that
• 58:49
  that
• 58:49
  was
• 58:49
  the
• 58:49
  fifth
• 58:49
  interview.
• 58:50
  The
• 58:50
  first
• 58:51
  four
• 58:51
  were
• 58:51
  supposed
• 58:51
  to
• 58:52
  be
• 58:52
  practice
• 58:52
  for
• 58:52
  her.
• 58:53
  She
• 58:53
  did
• 58:53
  this
• 58:53
  the
• 58:54
  first
• 58:54
  few
• 58:54
  times,
• 58:54
  and
• 58:55
  then
• 58:55
  finally
• 58:56
  by
• 58:56
  the
• 58:56
  fourth
• 58:56
  one,
• 58:57
  I
• 58:57
  said,
• 58:57
  look,
• 58:57
  these
• 58:58
  last
• 58:58
  two,
• 58:58
  if
• 58:58
  you
• 58:59
  don't
• 58:59
  go
• 58:59
  in,
• 58:59
  you
• 59:00
  know,
• 59:00
  pretend
• 59:00
  to
• 59:00
  be
• 59:01
  your
• 59:01
  sister
• 59:01
  if
• 59:01
  you
• 59:01
  have
• 59:01
  to
• 59:02
  be,
• 59:02
  but
• 59:02
  you
• 59:02
  go
• 59:02
  in,
• 59:03
  you
• 59:03
  speak,
• 59:03
  you
• 59:03
  show
• 59:04
  them
• 59:04
  how
• 59:04
  smart
• 59:04
  you
• 59:04
  are
• 59:05
  and
• 59:05
  that
• 59:05
  you
• 59:06
  can
• 59:06
  speak.
• 59:06
  Well,
• 59:06
  if
• 59:07
  you
• 59:07
  don't,
• 59:07
  I'm
• 59:08
  sending
• 59:08
  you
• 59:08
  to
• 59:08
  the
• 59:08
  school
• 59:09
  across
• 59:09
  the
• 59:09
  street
• 59:09
  where
• 59:10
  kids
• 59:10
  hit
• 59:10
  each
• 59:10
  other,
• 59:11
  they
• 59:11
  take
• 59:11
  each
• 59:11
  other's
• 59:12
  food
• 59:12
  at
• 59:12
  lunch,
• 59:13
  and
• 59:13
  they
• 59:13
  spit
• 59:13
  on
• 59:13
  each
• 59:14
  other.
• 59:14
  That's
• 59:14
  where
• 59:15
  you're
• 59:15
  gonna
• 59:15
  go
• 59:15
  if
• 59:15
  you
• 59:15
  don't
• 59:15
  shape
• 59:16
  up
• 59:16
  and
• 59:16
  do
• 59:16
  well.
• 59:17
  She
• 59:17
  aced
• 59:17
  the
• 59:17
  interviews,
• 59:18
  and
• 59:18
  in
• 59:18
  fact,
• 59:19
  the
• 59:19
  one
• 59:19
  for
• 59:19
  her
• 59:19
  sister's
• 59:20
  school,
• 59:20
  the.
• 59:21
  The
• 59:22
  director
• 59:22
  of
• 59:22
  admissions
• 59:23
  came
• 59:23
  to
• 59:23
  me,
• 59:23
  and
• 59:23
  she
• 59:23
  said,
• 59:24
  she's
• 59:24
  just
• 59:24
  like
• 59:24
  her
• 59:25
  sister.
• 59:25
  Someone
• 59:26
  smashed
• 59:26
  the,
• 59:26
  you
• 59:27
  know,
• 59:27
  magnatile,
• 59:28
  you
• 59:28
  know,
• 59:28
  castle
• 59:28
  she
• 59:29
  was
• 59:29
  building,
• 59:30
  and
• 59:31
  her
• 59:31
  true
• 59:31
  personality
• 59:32
  would
• 59:32
  have
• 59:32
  been
• 59:32
  to
• 59:32
  clobber
• 59:33
  the
• 59:33
  kid
• 59:33
  at
• 59:33
  that
• 59:34
  time,
• 59:34
  but
• 59:34
  instead
• 59:34
  she
• 59:35
  said
• 59:35
  it's.
• 59:36
  She
• 59:36
  actually
• 59:36
  told
• 59:37
  me
• 59:37
  later,
• 59:37
  I
• 59:37
  did
• 59:37
  what
• 59:38
  Pippa
• 59:38
  would
• 59:38
  do.
• 59:40
  She.
• 59:40
  She
• 59:40
  said,
• 59:40
  it's
• 59:41
  okay.
• 59:41
  Can
• 59:41
  you
• 59:42
  help
• 59:42
  me
• 59:42
  rebuild
• 59:42
  it?
• 59:42
  Oh,
• 59:43
  how
• 59:44
  perfect.
• 59:44
  In
• 59:44
  her
• 59:44
  acceptance.
• 59:45
  In
• 59:45
  her
• 59:46
  acceptance
• 59:47
  email
• 59:47
  from
• 59:48
  the
• 59:48
  school,
• 59:49
  they
• 59:49
  said,
• 59:49
  you
• 59:50
  know,
• 59:50
  she's
• 59:50
  just
• 59:50
  such
• 59:50
  a
• 59:50
  kind,
• 59:51
  ethical
• 59:51
  kid
• 59:52
  like
• 59:52
  her
• 59:52
  sister.
• 59:52
  And
• 59:53
  we
• 59:53
  were
• 59:53
  like,
• 59:53
  the
• 59:53
  joke's
• 59:54
  on
• 59:54
  you,
• 59:54
  because
• 59:55
  that.
• 59:55
  That
• 59:55
  is
• 59:55
  not
• 59:56
  my
• 59:56
  kid.
• 59:57
  Oh,
• 59:57
  my
• 59:57
  God.
• 59:58
  So
• 59:58
  it
• 59:58
  was
• 59:58
  really
• 59:59
  funny
• 59:59
  is
• 59:59
  all
• 59:59
  the
• 59:59
  similarities
• 1:00:00
  I
• 1:00:00
  was
• 1:00:00
  reading
• 1:00:00
  about.
• 1:00:01
  That
• 1:00:01
  is
• 1:00:01
  so
• 1:00:01
  funny.
• 1:00:02
  We.
• 1:00:03
  So
• 1:00:04
  it's
• 1:00:04
  funny.
• 1:00:04
  My
• 1:00:04
  younger
• 1:00:05
  one's
• 1:00:05
  daughter,
• 1:00:05
  my
• 1:00:05
  younger
• 1:00:06
  one's
• 1:00:06
  friend,
• 1:00:07
  she
• 1:00:07
  said
• 1:00:07
  to
• 1:00:07
  her,
• 1:00:07
  your
• 1:00:07
  mom's
• 1:00:08
  kind
• 1:00:08
  of
• 1:00:08
  weird.
• 1:00:08
  She's
• 1:00:09
  strict,
• 1:00:09
  but
• 1:00:09
  she's
• 1:00:09
  not.
• 1:00:10
  Right.
• 1:00:10
  And
• 1:00:10
  so
• 1:00:11
  it's.
• 1:00:11
  So
• 1:00:11
  we're
• 1:00:12
  strict
• 1:00:12
  about
• 1:00:12
  grades
• 1:00:12
  and
• 1:00:12
  we're
• 1:00:13
  strict
• 1:00:13
  about
• 1:00:13
  effort.
• 1:00:14
  If
• 1:00:14
  the
• 1:00:14
  effort
• 1:00:15
  is
• 1:00:15
  there,
• 1:00:15
  I
• 1:00:15
  will
• 1:00:15
  not
• 1:00:15
  be
• 1:00:16
  upset
• 1:00:16
  with
• 1:00:16
  whatever
• 1:00:16
  grade
• 1:00:17
  you
• 1:00:17
  see.
• 1:00:17
  But
• 1:00:17
  if
• 1:00:17
  you
• 1:00:18
  truly
• 1:00:18
  tried
• 1:00:18
  your
• 1:00:18
  best,
• 1:00:19
  that's
• 1:00:19
  fine.
• 1:00:19
  But
• 1:00:20
  if
• 1:00:20
  you
• 1:00:20
  didn't,
• 1:00:20
  that's
• 1:00:20
  where
• 1:00:20
  I
• 1:00:21
  have
• 1:00:21
  a
• 1:00:21
  very
• 1:00:21
  big
• 1:00:21
  issue.
• 1:00:22
  And
• 1:00:22
  so
• 1:00:22
  if
• 1:00:22
  I
• 1:00:22
  see
• 1:00:22
  a
• 1:00:23
  95,
• 1:00:23
  I'm
• 1:00:23
  going
• 1:00:23
  to
• 1:00:23
  question
• 1:00:24
  what.
• 1:00:24
  What
• 1:00:24
  happened
• 1:00:25
  there.
• 1:00:25
  Right.
• 1:00:25
  Were
• 1:00:26
  you
• 1:00:26
  on
• 1:00:26
  you.
• 1:00:26
  So
• 1:00:26
  we
• 1:00:26
  take
• 1:00:27
  away
• 1:00:27
  phones
• 1:00:27
  a
• 1:00:28
  lot,
• 1:00:28
  especially
• 1:00:28
  for
• 1:00:28
  the
• 1:00:28
  younger
• 1:00:29
  one,
• 1:00:29
  because
• 1:00:30
  you're
• 1:00:31
  like,
• 1:00:31
  you
• 1:00:31
  know,
• 1:00:32
  like,
• 1:00:32
  if
• 1:00:32
  you're
• 1:00:33
  practicing
• 1:00:33
  your
• 1:00:33
  violin,
• 1:00:34
  you
• 1:00:34
  shouldn't
• 1:00:34
  keep
• 1:00:34
  grabbing
• 1:00:35
  your
• 1:00:35
  phone
• 1:00:35
  in
• 1:00:35
  between
• 1:00:35
  each
• 1:00:36
  song.
• 1:00:36
  Yeah.
• 1:00:36
  Practice
• 1:00:37
  and
• 1:00:37
  then
• 1:00:37
  that's
• 1:00:37
  it.
• 1:00:37
  Absolutely.
• 1:00:38
  We
• 1:00:38
  have
• 1:00:38
  a
• 1:00:38
  lot
• 1:00:39
  of
• 1:00:39
  rules
• 1:00:39
  around
• 1:00:39
  the
• 1:00:39
  house.
• 1:00:40
  And
• 1:00:40
  so,
• 1:00:41
  you
• 1:00:41
  know,
• 1:00:41
  they
• 1:00:41
  are
• 1:00:41
  allowed
• 1:00:42
  play
• 1:00:42
  dates
• 1:00:42
  and
• 1:00:42
  they
• 1:00:42
  have
• 1:00:43
  been
• 1:00:43
  from
• 1:00:43
  an
• 1:00:43
  early
• 1:00:43
  age.
• 1:00:44
  That's
• 1:00:44
  something
• 1:00:44
  I
• 1:00:44
  really
• 1:00:45
  missed
• 1:00:45
  out
• 1:00:45
  in
• 1:00:45
  childhood.
• 1:00:46
  And
• 1:00:46
  so.
• 1:00:46
  And
• 1:00:47
  I
• 1:00:47
  think
• 1:00:47
  it's
• 1:00:47
  really
• 1:00:47
  important.
• 1:00:48
  Right.
• 1:00:48
  My
• 1:00:49
  husband
• 1:00:49
  doesn't
• 1:00:49
  have
• 1:00:49
  as
• 1:00:49
  many
• 1:00:50
  friends
• 1:00:50
  and
• 1:00:50
  it's
• 1:00:51
  because
• 1:00:51
  he
• 1:00:51
  grew
• 1:00:51
  up,
• 1:00:51
  he
• 1:00:52
  wasn't
• 1:00:52
  allowed.
• 1:00:52
  He
• 1:00:52
  and
• 1:00:53
  his
• 1:00:53
  sister
• 1:00:53
  shared
• 1:00:54
  one.
• 1:00:54
  Like,
• 1:00:54
  you
• 1:00:55
  know
• 1:00:55
  those
• 1:00:55
  wooden
• 1:00:55
  toys
• 1:00:56
  that
• 1:00:56
  you
• 1:00:56
  like,
• 1:00:56
  kind
• 1:00:56
  of
• 1:00:56
  pull?
• 1:00:57
  Yeah.
• 1:00:58
  Train
• 1:00:58
  noises.
• 1:00:59
  Yeah,
• 1:01:00
  yeah.
• 1:01:00
  That's
• 1:01:00
  the
• 1:01:00
  only
• 1:01:00
  toy
• 1:01:01
  they
• 1:01:01
  shared.
• 1:01:02
  They
• 1:01:02
  didn't
• 1:01:02
  have
• 1:01:02
  toys.
• 1:01:03
  Toys.
• 1:01:03
  And
• 1:01:04
  so.
• 1:01:05
  And
• 1:01:05
  he,
• 1:01:05
  he
• 1:01:06
  just,
• 1:01:06
  he.
• 1:01:07
  He's
• 1:01:07
  just
• 1:01:07
  someone
• 1:01:08
  that
• 1:01:08
  doesn't
• 1:01:08
  have
• 1:01:08
  a
• 1:01:09
  lot
• 1:01:09
  of
• 1:01:09
  friends.
• 1:01:09
  And
• 1:01:09
  I
• 1:01:09
  think
• 1:01:09
  friends
• 1:01:10
  are
• 1:01:10
  really
• 1:01:10
  important.
• 1:01:11
  Right.
• 1:01:11
  And
• 1:01:11
  so
• 1:01:12
  I've
• 1:01:12
  always
• 1:01:12
  kind
• 1:01:13
  of
• 1:01:13
  tried
• 1:01:13
  to
• 1:01:14
  help
• 1:01:14
  nourish
• 1:01:15
  those
• 1:01:15
  relationships.
• 1:01:16
  And
• 1:01:16
  they
• 1:01:16
  are
• 1:01:17
  allowed
• 1:01:17
  sleepovers,
• 1:01:19
  but
• 1:01:19
  I'm
• 1:01:19
  not
• 1:01:19
  gonna
• 1:01:19
  let
• 1:01:20
  you
• 1:01:20
  sleep
• 1:01:20
  over
• 1:01:20
  when
• 1:01:21
  it's
• 1:01:21
  like
• 1:01:21
  midterms,
• 1:01:22
  finals
• 1:01:22
  or
• 1:01:22
  like.
• 1:01:22
  Yeah,
• 1:01:23
  a
• 1:01:23
  lot
• 1:01:23
  going
• 1:01:23
  on.
• 1:01:24
  Yeah.
• 1:01:24
  School
• 1:01:24
  is
• 1:01:25
  always
• 1:01:25
  going
• 1:01:25
  to
• 1:01:25
  come
• 1:01:25
  first,
• 1:01:26
  but
• 1:01:26
  I'm
• 1:01:26
  trying
• 1:01:26
  to
• 1:01:26
  give
• 1:01:26
  them
• 1:01:27
  some
• 1:01:27
  balance.
• 1:01:27
  And
• 1:01:27
  I
• 1:01:27
  think
• 1:01:28
  that's
• 1:01:28
  working
• 1:01:28
  pretty
• 1:01:29
  well.
• 1:01:29
  But
• 1:01:29
  like,
• 1:01:30
  I'm
• 1:01:30
  in
• 1:01:30
  the
• 1:01:30
  boss,
• 1:01:31
  but
• 1:01:31
  I'm
• 1:01:31
  the
• 1:01:31
  boss.
• 1:01:33
  You
• 1:01:33
  know,
• 1:01:33
  dad,
• 1:01:34
  Daddy
• 1:01:34
  and
• 1:01:34
  I
• 1:01:34
  are
• 1:01:35
  the
• 1:01:35
  bosses.
• 1:01:35
  And
• 1:01:36
  you
• 1:01:36
  know,
• 1:01:36
  we
• 1:01:36
  have
• 1:01:37
  expectations
• 1:01:37
  and
• 1:01:38
  there's
• 1:01:38
  going
• 1:01:38
  to
• 1:01:39
  be
• 1:01:39
  follow
• 1:01:39
  through
• 1:01:39
  and
• 1:01:40
  we're
• 1:01:40
  going
• 1:01:40
  to
• 1:01:40
  follow
• 1:01:40
  through
• 1:01:41
  on
• 1:01:41
  those
• 1:01:41
  because
• 1:01:41
  if
• 1:01:42
  you
• 1:01:42
  don't
• 1:01:42
  play
• 1:01:42
  your
• 1:01:42
  part,
• 1:01:43
  your
• 1:01:43
  job
• 1:01:43
  is
• 1:01:43
  to
• 1:01:44
  be
• 1:01:44
  a
• 1:01:44
  student,
• 1:01:44
  do
• 1:01:44
  well,
• 1:01:45
  be
• 1:01:45
  a
• 1:01:45
  kind
• 1:01:45
  friend.
• 1:01:46
  And
• 1:01:46
  so
• 1:01:47
  the
• 1:01:47
  other
• 1:01:47
  fact
• 1:01:48
  part
• 1:01:48
  of
• 1:01:48
  it
• 1:01:48
  is
• 1:01:48
  I
• 1:01:48
  don't
• 1:01:49
  to
• 1:01:49
  want
• 1:01:49
  little
• 1:01:49
  jerks
• 1:01:50
  for
• 1:01:50
  kids.
• 1:01:50
  And
• 1:01:50
  so
• 1:01:51
  I
• 1:01:51
  want
• 1:01:51
  you
• 1:01:51
  to
• 1:01:51
  be
• 1:01:51
  a
• 1:01:51
  good
• 1:01:51
  person.
• 1:01:52
  They
• 1:01:52
  go
• 1:01:52
  to
• 1:01:52
  a
• 1:01:53
  school
• 1:01:53
  that
• 1:01:53
  really
• 1:01:53
  stresses
• 1:01:54
  ethical
• 1:01:54
  values
• 1:01:55
  and
• 1:01:55
  so
• 1:01:55
  that
• 1:01:55
  was
• 1:01:55
  really
• 1:01:55
  important
• 1:01:56
  to
• 1:01:56
  us.
• 1:01:56
  And
• 1:01:56
  so
• 1:01:57
  we're
• 1:01:58
  not
• 1:01:58
  perfect
• 1:01:58
  by
• 1:01:58
  any
• 1:01:59
  means,
• 1:01:59
  but
• 1:02:00
  we're
• 1:02:00
  trying.
• 1:02:00
  And
• 1:02:01
  we
• 1:02:01
  definitely
• 1:02:01
  fall
• 1:02:02
  into
• 1:02:02
  that
• 1:02:02
  authoritative
• 1:02:03
  kind
• 1:02:03
  of
• 1:02:03
  parenting
• 1:02:04
  style.
• 1:02:04
  Yeah,
• 1:02:04
  that
• 1:02:04
  sounds.
• 1:02:05
  It
• 1:02:05
  sounds
• 1:02:05
  like
• 1:02:05
  you
• 1:02:05
  are
• 1:02:06
  authoritative,
• 1:02:07
  like
• 1:02:08
  you've
• 1:02:08
  really
• 1:02:08
  set
• 1:02:08
  boundaries.
• 1:02:09
  You
• 1:02:09
  have
• 1:02:09
  your
• 1:02:10
  priorities.
• 1:02:11
  The
• 1:02:11
  girls
• 1:02:12
  know
• 1:02:12
  what
• 1:02:12
  to
• 1:02:12
  expect.
• 1:02:14
  Yeah.
• 1:02:15
  I
• 1:02:15
  mean,
• 1:02:16
  reading
• 1:02:17
  the
• 1:02:17
  book
• 1:02:17
  myself,
• 1:02:18
  I
• 1:02:19
  think
• 1:02:19
  I
• 1:02:19
  felt
• 1:02:19
  like
• 1:02:21
  I
• 1:02:22
  hadn't
• 1:02:22
  been
• 1:02:23
  strict
• 1:02:23
  enough.
• 1:02:25
  Did
• 1:02:25
  you?
• 1:02:25
  I
• 1:02:25
  mean,
• 1:02:26
  that's.
• 1:02:26
  I
• 1:02:26
  don't
• 1:02:26
  think
• 1:02:26
  I
• 1:02:27
  was.
• 1:02:27
  We
• 1:02:27
  didn't
• 1:02:27
  have
• 1:02:27
  rules.
• 1:02:28
  We
• 1:02:28
  were
• 1:02:28
  not.
• 1:02:29
  It
• 1:02:30
  was
• 1:02:30
  sort
• 1:02:30
  of.
• 1:02:30
  I
• 1:02:30
  mean,
• 1:02:30
  like,
• 1:02:31
  we
• 1:02:31
  did
• 1:02:31
  and
• 1:02:32
  we
• 1:02:32
  didn't.
• 1:02:32
  Right.
• 1:02:32
  Like,
• 1:02:33
  if
• 1:02:33
  we
• 1:02:33
  did
• 1:02:33
  something
• 1:02:33
  wrong
• 1:02:34
  in
• 1:02:34
  the
• 1:02:34
  moment,
• 1:02:34
  we
• 1:02:34
  were
• 1:02:35
  told
• 1:02:35
  that
• 1:02:35
  it
• 1:02:35
  was
• 1:02:36
  wrong,
• 1:02:36
  but
• 1:02:37
  it
• 1:02:37
  wasn't.
• 1:02:38
  Like,
• 1:02:38
  we
• 1:02:38
  knew
• 1:02:38
  clearly
• 1:02:40
  what
• 1:02:40
  we
• 1:02:40
  were
• 1:02:40
  and
• 1:02:41
  weren't
• 1:02:41
  supposed
• 1:02:41
  to
• 1:02:41
  do.
• 1:02:42
  We
• 1:02:42
  had,
• 1:02:42
  like,
• 1:02:42
  vague,
• 1:02:44
  vague
• 1:02:44
  ideas.
• 1:02:45
  I.
• 1:02:46
  I
• 1:02:46
  realized
• 1:02:47
  I
• 1:02:47
  should
• 1:02:48
  have
• 1:02:48
  been
• 1:02:49
  much
• 1:02:49
  clearer
• 1:02:51
  about
• 1:02:52
  my
• 1:02:52
  expectations
• 1:02:53
  of
• 1:02:53
  you.
• 1:02:54
  I
• 1:02:54
  just
• 1:02:54
  never
• 1:02:54
  set
• 1:02:54
  high
• 1:02:55
  expectations.
• 1:02:56
  I
• 1:02:56
  mean,
• 1:02:56
  you
• 1:02:57
  both
• 1:02:57
  turned
• 1:02:57
  out
• 1:02:57
  great,
• 1:02:58
  but
• 1:02:59
  I
• 1:02:59
  did
• 1:02:59
  not
• 1:03:00
  set
• 1:03:00
  those
• 1:03:00
  high
• 1:03:00
  expectations.
• 1:03:01
  But
• 1:03:02
  also,
• 1:03:02
  again,
• 1:03:03
  my
• 1:03:03
  brother
• 1:03:03
  was
• 1:03:04
  academically
• 1:03:04
  high
• 1:03:04
  achieving.
• 1:03:05
  I
• 1:03:05
  was
• 1:03:05
  not.
• 1:03:06
  And
• 1:03:06
  I
• 1:03:06
  think
• 1:03:06
  it
• 1:03:06
  was
• 1:03:07
  pretty
• 1:03:07
  clear
• 1:03:07
  that
• 1:03:08
  I
• 1:03:08
  have
• 1:03:08
  learning
• 1:03:09
  disabilities.
• 1:03:09
  But
• 1:03:10
  beyond
• 1:03:11
  that,
• 1:03:11
  I
• 1:03:11
  also
• 1:03:11
  was
• 1:03:12
  just
• 1:03:12
  not
• 1:03:12
  motivated
• 1:03:13
  in
• 1:03:13
  school.
• 1:03:13
  There
• 1:03:14
  was.
• 1:03:14
  Was
• 1:03:14
  nothing.
• 1:03:15
  There
• 1:03:15
  was
• 1:03:15
  no
• 1:03:15
  consequence,
• 1:03:16
  no
• 1:03:16
  reward.
• 1:03:17
  I
• 1:03:17
  was
• 1:03:17
  impervious
• 1:03:18
  to
• 1:03:19
  all
• 1:03:19
  of
• 1:03:19
  that.
• 1:03:19
  Like,
• 1:03:19
  nothing
• 1:03:20
  would
• 1:03:20
  have
• 1:03:20
  brought
• 1:03:20
  my
• 1:03:20
  grades
• 1:03:21
  up.
• 1:03:22
  Yeah.
• 1:03:22
  But
• 1:03:23
  I
• 1:03:23
  don't
• 1:03:23
  know
• 1:03:23
  that
• 1:03:24
  I
• 1:03:24
  would
• 1:03:24
  have
• 1:03:24
  had
• 1:03:24
  the
• 1:03:25
  stamina
• 1:03:27
  to
• 1:03:27
  do.
• 1:03:28
  I
• 1:03:28
  don't
• 1:03:28
  have
• 1:03:28
  this
• 1:03:28
  lady's
• 1:03:29
  stamina.
• 1:03:29
  Yeah.
• 1:03:29
  I
• 1:03:29
  mean,
• 1:03:29
  her
• 1:03:30
  stamina
• 1:03:30
  was
• 1:03:31
  next
• 1:03:31
  to
• 1:03:31
  me.
• 1:03:32
  The
• 1:03:32
  younger
• 1:03:32
  one
• 1:03:32
  played
• 1:03:33
  violin.
• 1:03:33
  They
• 1:03:33
  both
• 1:03:33
  started
• 1:03:34
  with
• 1:03:34
  the
• 1:03:34
  piano,
• 1:03:34
  and
• 1:03:34
  then
• 1:03:35
  they
• 1:03:35
  chose
• 1:03:35
  an
• 1:03:36
  instrument.
• 1:03:36
  The
• 1:03:36
  older
• 1:03:36
  one
• 1:03:36
  picked
• 1:03:37
  flute,
• 1:03:37
  and
• 1:03:37
  that
• 1:03:37
  became
• 1:03:38
  her
• 1:03:38
  instrument.
• 1:03:39
  This
• 1:03:39
  one
• 1:03:39
  played
• 1:03:39
  piano
• 1:03:40
  and
• 1:03:40
  violin
• 1:03:40
  for
• 1:03:40
  many
• 1:03:40
  years,
• 1:03:41
  actually,
• 1:03:41
  until
• 1:03:42
  she
• 1:03:42
  started
• 1:03:42
  middle
• 1:03:43
  school.
• 1:03:43
  There
• 1:03:43
  was
• 1:03:43
  just
• 1:03:43
  no
• 1:03:43
  time
• 1:03:44
  left,
• 1:03:44
  and.
• 1:03:44
  And
• 1:03:44
  so
• 1:03:45
  we
• 1:03:45
  said,
• 1:03:45
  pick
• 1:03:45
  one.
• 1:03:46
  She
• 1:03:46
  picked
• 1:03:47
  violin.
• 1:03:47
  And
• 1:03:47
  I
• 1:03:47
  think
• 1:03:48
  she
• 1:03:48
  picked
• 1:03:48
  it
• 1:03:48
  because
• 1:03:48
  of
• 1:03:49
  the
• 1:03:49
  fact
• 1:03:49
  that
• 1:03:49
  I
• 1:03:49
  played
• 1:03:49
  piano
• 1:03:50
  growing
• 1:03:50
  up,
• 1:03:51
  and
• 1:03:51
  so
• 1:03:51
  I
• 1:03:52
  used
• 1:03:52
  to
• 1:03:52
  sit
• 1:03:52
  next
• 1:03:52
  to
• 1:03:52
  her
• 1:03:53
  when
• 1:03:53
  she
• 1:03:53
  practiced,
• 1:03:53
  and
• 1:03:54
  so
• 1:03:54
  I
• 1:03:54
  knew
• 1:03:55
  when
• 1:03:55
  something
• 1:03:55
  was
• 1:03:55
  wrong.
• 1:03:56
  I
• 1:03:56
  don't
• 1:03:56
  know
• 1:03:56
  how
• 1:03:56
  to
• 1:03:56
  play
• 1:03:57
  the
• 1:03:57
  violin.
• 1:03:57
  I
• 1:03:57
  really
• 1:03:57
  can't
• 1:03:58
  help
• 1:03:58
  you.
• 1:03:58
  I
• 1:03:59
  can
• 1:03:59
  hear
• 1:03:59
  if
• 1:03:59
  something
• 1:03:59
  sounds
• 1:04:00
  off,
• 1:04:00
  but,
• 1:04:00
  like,
• 1:04:01
  so
• 1:04:02
  the
• 1:04:02
  violin,
• 1:04:02
  I
• 1:04:02
  was
• 1:04:03
  pretty
• 1:04:03
  hands
• 1:04:03
  off.
• 1:04:03
  I
• 1:04:03
  think
• 1:04:04
  she
• 1:04:04
  picked
• 1:04:04
  that
• 1:04:04
  instrument
• 1:04:05
  because
• 1:04:05
  that's
• 1:04:05
  the
• 1:04:05
  one.
• 1:04:05
  I
• 1:04:05
  chose
• 1:04:06
  not
• 1:04:06
  to
• 1:04:06
  sit
• 1:04:06
  next
• 1:04:06
  to
• 1:04:06
  her
• 1:04:07
  for
• 1:04:07
  when
• 1:04:07
  she
• 1:04:07
  was
• 1:04:07
  practicing,
• 1:04:08
  and
• 1:04:08
  that
• 1:04:08
  was
• 1:04:09
  freeing
• 1:04:09
  for
• 1:04:09
  her,
• 1:04:10
  and
• 1:04:10
  so
• 1:04:10
  I
• 1:04:10
  think
• 1:04:10
  that's
• 1:04:10
  why.
• 1:04:11
  But
• 1:04:11
  she
• 1:04:11
  was
• 1:04:12
  really
• 1:04:12
  amazing
• 1:04:13
  at
• 1:04:13
  both.
• 1:04:13
  She
• 1:04:13
  has
• 1:04:14
  a
• 1:04:14
  perfect
• 1:04:14
  pitch
• 1:04:15
  and
• 1:04:15
  she's
• 1:04:16
  very
• 1:04:16
  talented,
• 1:04:16
  but
• 1:04:17
  she
• 1:04:17
  also
• 1:04:17
  refuses
• 1:04:18
  to
• 1:04:18
  do
• 1:04:18
  any
• 1:04:18
  competitions
• 1:04:19
  or
• 1:04:19
  anything
• 1:04:19
  like
• 1:04:19
  that.
• 1:04:20
  But
• 1:04:20
  for
• 1:04:20
  us,
• 1:04:20
  it's.
• 1:04:21
  It's.
• 1:04:21
  At
• 1:04:21
  this
• 1:04:21
  point,
• 1:04:21
  that's
• 1:04:22
  not
• 1:04:22
  her
• 1:04:22
  main
• 1:04:22
  kind
• 1:04:22
  of
• 1:04:23
  activity,
• 1:04:24
  but
• 1:04:24
  because
• 1:04:24
  she's
• 1:04:24
  been
• 1:04:25
  doing
• 1:04:25
  it
• 1:04:25
  for
• 1:04:25
  so
• 1:04:25
  long.
• 1:04:25
  We're
• 1:04:26
  gonna
• 1:04:26
  make
• 1:04:26
  her
• 1:04:26
  stick
• 1:04:27
  to
• 1:04:27
  it,
• 1:04:27
  even
• 1:04:27
  though
• 1:04:28
  that's
• 1:04:28
  the
• 1:04:28
  one
• 1:04:28
  that
• 1:04:28
  she
• 1:04:28
  does
• 1:04:29
  want
• 1:04:29
  to
• 1:04:29
  drop.
• 1:04:29
  But
• 1:04:30
  I,
• 1:04:30
  we
• 1:04:30
  need
• 1:04:30
  her
• 1:04:30
  to
• 1:04:30
  see
• 1:04:31
  something
• 1:04:31
  through.
• 1:04:31
  There's
• 1:04:32
  been
• 1:04:32
  a
• 1:04:32
  lack
• 1:04:32
  of
• 1:04:32
  follow
• 1:04:32
  through
• 1:04:33
  with
• 1:04:33
  that
• 1:04:33
  one
• 1:04:33
  where
• 1:04:34
  I
• 1:04:34
  think
• 1:04:34
  we
• 1:04:34
  gave
• 1:04:34
  her
• 1:04:34
  a
• 1:04:34
  little
• 1:04:35
  bit
• 1:04:35
  too
• 1:04:35
  much
• 1:04:35
  choice.
• 1:04:36
  And
• 1:04:36
  so
• 1:04:37
  basketball
• 1:04:38
  is
• 1:04:38
  now
• 1:04:38
  her
• 1:04:38
  kind
• 1:04:39
  of
• 1:04:39
  go
• 1:04:39
  to
• 1:04:39
  and
• 1:04:40
  her
• 1:04:40
  main
• 1:04:40
  kind
• 1:04:40
  of
• 1:04:41
  extracurricular.
• 1:04:42
  She's
• 1:04:42
  on
• 1:04:42
  some
• 1:04:42
  travel
• 1:04:43
  teams.
• 1:04:43
  She
• 1:04:43
  does
• 1:04:43
  very
• 1:04:43
  well.
• 1:04:44
  But
• 1:04:44
  you're
• 1:04:44
  not
• 1:04:45
  giving
• 1:04:45
  up
• 1:04:45
  the
• 1:04:45
  violin.
• 1:04:46
  You're
• 1:04:46
  gonna
• 1:04:46
  play
• 1:04:46
  in
• 1:04:46
  high
• 1:04:46
  school.
• 1:04:47
  You're
• 1:04:47
  gonna
• 1:04:47
  be
• 1:04:47
  in
• 1:04:47
  the
• 1:04:47
  orchestra.
• 1:04:48
  Okay,
• 1:04:49
  so
• 1:04:50
  that's
• 1:04:50
  an
• 1:04:50
  example
• 1:04:51
  of
• 1:04:51
  you
• 1:04:51
  setting
• 1:04:52
  the
• 1:04:52
  expectations
• 1:04:53
  high
• 1:04:53
  for
• 1:04:54
  her.
• 1:04:54
  It's
• 1:04:55
  what
• 1:04:55
  I
• 1:04:55
  never
• 1:04:55
  did.
• 1:04:59
  Cause
• 1:04:59
  I
• 1:04:59
  just,
• 1:04:59
  I
• 1:04:59
  don't
• 1:05:00
  think
• 1:05:00
  I
• 1:05:00
  had
• 1:05:00
  the
• 1:05:01
  stamina
• 1:05:02
  like,
• 1:05:02
  or
• 1:05:03
  just
• 1:05:03
  the.
• 1:05:03
  I
• 1:05:03
  couldn't
• 1:05:04
  go
• 1:05:04
  through
• 1:05:04
  what
• 1:05:05
  the
• 1:05:05
  pushback
• 1:05:05
  that
• 1:05:05
  I
• 1:05:06
  knew
• 1:05:07
  you
• 1:05:07
  don't
• 1:05:07
  like
• 1:05:08
  not
• 1:05:08
  to
• 1:05:08
  be
• 1:05:08
  liked.
• 1:05:08
  That's
• 1:05:09
  hard.
• 1:05:09
  I
• 1:05:10
  think
• 1:05:10
  that
• 1:05:10
  that
• 1:05:10
  would
• 1:05:10
  have
• 1:05:10
  been
• 1:05:10
  really
• 1:05:11
  tough.
• 1:05:11
  It
• 1:05:11
  would
• 1:05:11
  have
• 1:05:11
  been
• 1:05:11
  hard
• 1:05:12
  for
• 1:05:12
  me.
• 1:05:12
  But.
• 1:05:13
  Yeah,
• 1:05:14
  but
• 1:05:14
  I
• 1:05:14
  admire
• 1:05:15
  that
• 1:05:15
  you
• 1:05:16
  are
• 1:05:17
  doing
• 1:05:17
  this,
• 1:05:17
  that
• 1:05:17
  you're
• 1:05:18
  setting
• 1:05:18
  the
• 1:05:18
  goals
• 1:05:18
  and
• 1:05:19
  that
• 1:05:19
  your
• 1:05:19
  daughters
• 1:05:19
  have
• 1:05:20
  been
• 1:05:20
  brought
• 1:05:20
  up
• 1:05:20
  this
• 1:05:20
  way
• 1:05:21
  so
• 1:05:21
  they
• 1:05:21
  know
• 1:05:22
  they're
• 1:05:23
  going
• 1:05:23
  to
• 1:05:23
  want
• 1:05:24
  to
• 1:05:24
  meet
• 1:05:24
  your
• 1:05:24
  expectations.
• 1:05:26
  At
• 1:05:26
  the
• 1:05:26
  same
• 1:05:26
  time,
• 1:05:26
  when
• 1:05:26
  I
• 1:05:27
  see
• 1:05:27
  you
• 1:05:27
  guys
• 1:05:27
  and
• 1:05:27
  your
• 1:05:27
  relationship,
• 1:05:28
  I
• 1:05:28
  think
• 1:05:29
  you're
• 1:05:29
  so
• 1:05:29
  close.
• 1:05:30
  And
• 1:05:30
  then,
• 1:05:30
  then
• 1:05:31
  you
• 1:05:31
  know,
• 1:05:31
  it
• 1:05:31
  makes
• 1:05:31
  you
• 1:05:31
  question
• 1:05:32
  because
• 1:05:32
  I
• 1:05:32
  do
• 1:05:32
  wonder
• 1:05:33
  how
• 1:05:33
  close
• 1:05:33
  she
• 1:05:33
  is
• 1:05:34
  with
• 1:05:34
  her
• 1:05:34
  kids.
• 1:05:35
  And
• 1:05:35
  for
• 1:05:35
  us,
• 1:05:36
  I'm
• 1:05:36
  very
• 1:05:36
  close
• 1:05:36
  to
• 1:05:37
  my
• 1:05:37
  younger
• 1:05:37
  one.
• 1:05:37
  I
• 1:05:38
  actually
• 1:05:38
  have,
• 1:05:38
  she
• 1:05:38
  has
• 1:05:39
  my
• 1:05:39
  personality.
• 1:05:39
  And
• 1:05:40
  so
• 1:05:40
  I've
• 1:05:40
  always
• 1:05:41
  told
• 1:05:41
  her
• 1:05:41
  there's
• 1:05:41
  nothing
• 1:05:42
  you
• 1:05:42
  can
• 1:05:42
  do
• 1:05:42
  that
• 1:05:42
  I've
• 1:05:43
  never
• 1:05:43
  done
• 1:05:43
  first.
• 1:05:44
  Right.
• 1:05:44
  Like,
• 1:05:45
  you
• 1:05:45
  know,
• 1:05:45
  I,
• 1:05:46
  I
• 1:05:46
  left
• 1:05:46
  her
• 1:05:46
  at
• 1:05:47
  home
• 1:05:47
  while
• 1:05:47
  I
• 1:05:47
  took
• 1:05:47
  her
• 1:05:48
  sister
• 1:05:48
  Summer
• 1:05:48
  once
• 1:05:49
  to
• 1:05:49
  do
• 1:05:49
  a
• 1:05:49
  study
• 1:05:49
  book.
• 1:05:50
  And
• 1:05:51
  then
• 1:05:51
  she,
• 1:05:52
  it
• 1:05:52
  ends
• 1:05:52
  up
• 1:05:52
  she
• 1:05:52
  looked
• 1:05:53
  at
• 1:05:53
  the
• 1:05:53
  answers
• 1:05:53
  and,
• 1:05:54
  and,
• 1:05:54
  and
• 1:05:54
  I
• 1:05:54
  knew
• 1:05:54
  because
• 1:05:55
  I
• 1:05:55
  said,
• 1:05:55
  explain
• 1:05:55
  this
• 1:05:55
  to
• 1:05:55
  me.
• 1:05:56
  And
• 1:05:56
  then
• 1:05:56
  she
• 1:05:56
  couldn't.
• 1:05:56
  And
• 1:05:57
  then
• 1:05:57
  like,
• 1:05:57
  I
• 1:05:57
  know
• 1:05:57
  noticed
• 1:05:58
  some
• 1:05:58
  earmarks
• 1:05:58
  and
• 1:05:58
  things
• 1:05:58
  like
• 1:05:59
  that,
• 1:06:00
  but
• 1:06:02
  so
• 1:06:02
  we
• 1:06:03
  are
• 1:06:03
  closer.
• 1:06:03
  And
• 1:06:03
  I
• 1:06:03
  noticed,
• 1:06:04
  I
• 1:06:04
  think
• 1:06:04
  the
• 1:06:05
  fact
• 1:06:05
  that
• 1:06:05
  we
• 1:06:05
  were
• 1:06:05
  so
• 1:06:05
  strict
• 1:06:06
  earlier
• 1:06:06
  on
• 1:06:06
  with
• 1:06:06
  my
• 1:06:07
  older
• 1:06:07
  daughter,
• 1:06:08
  there's
• 1:06:08
  a
• 1:06:08
  little
• 1:06:08
  bit
• 1:06:09
  of
• 1:06:09
  a
• 1:06:09
  barrier
• 1:06:09
  there
• 1:06:10
  where,
• 1:06:10
  you
• 1:06:10
  know,
• 1:06:11
  she's
• 1:06:12
  always
• 1:06:12
  telling
• 1:06:12
  us
• 1:06:12
  we
• 1:06:12
  don't
• 1:06:13
  understand
• 1:06:13
  her.
• 1:06:13
  We're
• 1:06:14
  all
• 1:06:14
  youngest
• 1:06:14
  kids.
• 1:06:15
  My
• 1:06:15
  husband,
• 1:06:15
  I'm
• 1:06:15
  the
• 1:06:16
  youngest.
• 1:06:16
  My,
• 1:06:16
  you
• 1:06:17
  know,
• 1:06:17
  the,
• 1:06:17
  the
• 1:06:17
  youngest
• 1:06:18
  is
• 1:06:18
  the
• 1:06:18
  youngest.
• 1:06:18
  And
• 1:06:19
  so
• 1:06:19
  she's
• 1:06:19
  very
• 1:06:19
  close
• 1:06:20
  to
• 1:06:20
  my
• 1:06:20
  oldest
• 1:06:20
  sister.
• 1:06:21
  And
• 1:06:21
  so
• 1:06:21
  they
• 1:06:21
  have
• 1:06:21
  a
• 1:06:22
  special
• 1:06:22
  bond
• 1:06:22
  just
• 1:06:22
  because
• 1:06:23
  of
• 1:06:23
  the
• 1:06:23
  hardships
• 1:06:23
  that
• 1:06:24
  the
• 1:06:24
  oldest
• 1:06:24
  kids,
• 1:06:24
  kids
• 1:06:24
  go
• 1:06:24
  through,
• 1:06:25
  being
• 1:06:26
  guinea
• 1:06:26
  pigs
• 1:06:26
  to
• 1:06:26
  clueless
• 1:06:27
  parents,
• 1:06:28
  things
• 1:06:28
  like
• 1:06:28
  that.
• 1:06:28
  And
• 1:06:29
  then
• 1:06:29
  the
• 1:06:29
  extra
• 1:06:29
  stress,
• 1:06:30
  like
• 1:06:30
  you
• 1:06:30
  have
• 1:06:30
  to
• 1:06:30
  set
• 1:06:30
  an
• 1:06:31
  example.
• 1:06:32
  And
• 1:06:32
  so,
• 1:06:33
  you
• 1:06:33
  know,
• 1:06:34
  so
• 1:06:34
  there's
• 1:06:34
  kind
• 1:06:34
  of
• 1:06:34
  A
• 1:06:35
  dis,
• 1:06:35
  disapproving
• 1:06:36
  kind
• 1:06:36
  of,
• 1:06:37
  you
• 1:06:37
  know,
• 1:06:38
  thing
• 1:06:38
  there
• 1:06:38
  between
• 1:06:39
  us
• 1:06:39
  in
• 1:06:40
  that
• 1:06:40
  way.
• 1:06:40
  And
• 1:06:41
  so
• 1:06:41
  I'm
• 1:06:41
  trying
• 1:06:41
  to
• 1:06:42
  loosen
• 1:06:42
  up
• 1:06:42
  and
• 1:06:43
  have
• 1:06:43
  more
• 1:06:43
  balance.
• 1:06:44
  And
• 1:06:44
  at
• 1:06:44
  the
• 1:06:44
  end
• 1:06:44
  of
• 1:06:44
  the
• 1:06:45
  day,
• 1:06:45
  I
• 1:06:45
  do
• 1:06:45
  want
• 1:06:45
  them
• 1:06:45
  at
• 1:06:46
  highly
• 1:06:46
  selective
• 1:06:46
  or
• 1:06:47
  Ivy
• 1:06:47
  League
• 1:06:47
  schools.
• 1:06:48
  But
• 1:06:48
  if
• 1:06:48
  it
• 1:06:48
  doesn't
• 1:06:48
  happen,
• 1:06:49
  you've
• 1:06:49
  tried
• 1:06:50
  your
• 1:06:50
  best
• 1:06:50
  best,
• 1:06:50
  then
• 1:06:51
  we're
• 1:06:51
  just
• 1:06:51
  going
• 1:06:51
  to
• 1:06:51
  try
• 1:06:51
  to
• 1:06:51
  find
• 1:06:52
  the
• 1:06:52
  best
• 1:06:52
  school
• 1:06:52
  for
• 1:06:53
  you
• 1:06:53
  where
• 1:06:53
  you're
• 1:06:53
  going
• 1:06:53
  to
• 1:06:53
  have
• 1:06:54
  fun.
• 1:06:54
  Okay.
• 1:06:54
  Because
• 1:06:55
  my,
• 1:06:55
  you
• 1:06:56
  know,
• 1:06:57
  we
• 1:06:57
  all
• 1:06:58
  ended
• 1:06:58
  up
• 1:06:58
  at
• 1:06:58
  Ivy
• 1:06:58
  League
• 1:06:59
  schools,
• 1:06:59
  but,
• 1:06:59
  you
• 1:06:59
  know,
• 1:07:00
  what
• 1:07:00
  did
• 1:07:00
  it
• 1:07:00
  do
• 1:07:00
  for
• 1:07:00
  us?
• 1:07:01
  Right.
• 1:07:01
  It
• 1:07:01
  opens
• 1:07:02
  plenty
• 1:07:02
  of
• 1:07:02
  doors,
• 1:07:03
  but
• 1:07:03
  at
• 1:07:03
  the
• 1:07:03
  same
• 1:07:03
  time
• 1:07:04
  it
• 1:07:04
  had
• 1:07:04
  a
• 1:07:05
  kind
• 1:07:05
  of
• 1:07:05
  a
• 1:07:05
  psychological
• 1:07:06
  impact
• 1:07:06
  on
• 1:07:06
  us
• 1:07:07
  and
• 1:07:07
  each
• 1:07:07
  in
• 1:07:07
  a
• 1:07:08
  different
• 1:07:08
  way
• 1:07:09
  that
• 1:07:09
  I
• 1:07:09
  think
• 1:07:10
  is
• 1:07:10
  really
• 1:07:11
  important
• 1:07:11
  to
• 1:07:11
  acknowledge.
• 1:07:12
  You
• 1:07:12
  know,
• 1:07:12
  mental
• 1:07:13
  health
• 1:07:13
  for
• 1:07:13
  young
• 1:07:14
  kids.
• 1:07:14
  I
• 1:07:15
  saw
• 1:07:15
  so
• 1:07:15
  many
• 1:07:15
  of
• 1:07:15
  my
• 1:07:16
  friends
• 1:07:16
  who
• 1:07:16
  are
• 1:07:16
  brought
• 1:07:16
  up
• 1:07:17
  in
• 1:07:17
  the
• 1:07:17
  same
• 1:07:17
  way
• 1:07:17
  or
• 1:07:18
  who
• 1:07:18
  might
• 1:07:18
  not
• 1:07:18
  have
• 1:07:18
  actually
• 1:07:19
  had
• 1:07:19
  parents
• 1:07:20
  as
• 1:07:20
  strict
• 1:07:20
  as
• 1:07:20
  mine,
• 1:07:21
  but
• 1:07:21
  they
• 1:07:21
  snapped.
• 1:07:22
  And
• 1:07:23
  so
• 1:07:23
  they
• 1:07:23
  went
• 1:07:23
  from,
• 1:07:24
  you
• 1:07:24
  know,
• 1:07:24
  they,
• 1:07:25
  they
• 1:07:25
  either
• 1:07:25
  ended
• 1:07:26
  up
• 1:07:26
  like
• 1:07:26
  dropping
• 1:07:26
  out
• 1:07:27
  of
• 1:07:27
  high
• 1:07:27
  school,
• 1:07:27
  finishing
• 1:07:28
  with
• 1:07:28
  the
• 1:07:28
  ged.
• 1:07:29
  Is
• 1:07:29
  that
• 1:07:29
  what
• 1:07:29
  it
• 1:07:29
  is?
• 1:07:29
  That,
• 1:07:31
  that's
• 1:07:31
  so
• 1:07:31
  unfamiliar
• 1:07:32
  to
• 1:07:32
  me,
• 1:07:32
  I'm
• 1:07:32
  not
• 1:07:32
  even
• 1:07:32
  sure.
• 1:07:33
  But
• 1:07:33
  they,
• 1:07:33
  they
• 1:07:34
  didn't
• 1:07:34
  finish
• 1:07:34
  high
• 1:07:34
  school,
• 1:07:35
  they
• 1:07:35
  ran
• 1:07:35
  away
• 1:07:35
  from
• 1:07:36
  home
• 1:07:36
  or
• 1:07:36
  they
• 1:07:37
  got
• 1:07:37
  to
• 1:07:37
  college
• 1:07:37
  and
• 1:07:38
  you
• 1:07:38
  know,
• 1:07:38
  lost
• 1:07:38
  their
• 1:07:39
  scholarship
• 1:07:39
  because
• 1:07:39
  they
• 1:07:39
  stopped
• 1:07:40
  studying.
• 1:07:40
  That's
• 1:07:41
  not
• 1:07:41
  the
• 1:07:41
  time
• 1:07:41
  to
• 1:07:41
  actually
• 1:07:42
  repel.
• 1:07:42
  Right.
• 1:07:43
  In
• 1:07:43
  college.
• 1:07:44
  And
• 1:07:44
  so,
• 1:07:45
  you
• 1:07:46
  know,
• 1:07:46
  I,
• 1:07:46
  I've
• 1:07:46
  seen
• 1:07:46
  where
• 1:07:47
  it,
• 1:07:47
  it
• 1:07:47
  works
• 1:07:48
  and
• 1:07:48
  I've
• 1:07:48
  seen
• 1:07:48
  where
• 1:07:48
  it
• 1:07:48
  really,
• 1:07:49
  really
• 1:07:49
  fails.
• 1:07:50
  And
• 1:07:50
  so
• 1:07:50
  it's,
• 1:07:50
  I
• 1:07:50
  think
• 1:07:51
  that's
• 1:07:51
  where
• 1:07:51
  the
• 1:07:51
  nurture
• 1:07:51
  comes
• 1:07:52
  in
• 1:07:52
  because
• 1:07:52
  you
• 1:07:53
  have
• 1:07:53
  to
• 1:07:53
  know
• 1:07:53
  that
• 1:07:53
  particular
• 1:07:54
  kid
• 1:07:54
  and
• 1:07:54
  respond
• 1:07:55
  accordingly.
• 1:07:55
  So.
• 1:07:56
  You're
• 1:07:56
  right.
• 1:07:56
  You're
• 1:07:57
  right
• 1:07:58
  is
• 1:07:58
  such
• 1:07:58
  a
• 1:07:59
  double
• 1:07:59
  edged
• 1:07:59
  sword.
• 1:08:00
  You
• 1:08:00
  know,
• 1:08:00
  it
• 1:08:01
  can
• 1:08:01
  produce
• 1:08:01
  really
• 1:08:01
  incredible,
• 1:08:03
  disciplined,
• 1:08:04
  motivated
• 1:08:04
  people.
• 1:08:05
  But
• 1:08:05
  if,
• 1:08:05
  if
• 1:08:06
  it's
• 1:08:06
  used
• 1:08:07
  too
• 1:08:07
  hard,
• 1:08:07
  I
• 1:08:08
  mean,
• 1:08:09
  yeah,
• 1:08:09
  Amy
• 1:08:09
  did
• 1:08:09
  the
• 1:08:10
  same
• 1:08:10
  thing
• 1:08:10
  with
• 1:08:10
  both
• 1:08:10
  of
• 1:08:10
  her
• 1:08:11
  kids.
• 1:08:11
  It
• 1:08:11
  worked
• 1:08:11
  for
• 1:08:11
  one
• 1:08:12
  and
• 1:08:12
  the
• 1:08:12
  other
• 1:08:12
  kind
• 1:08:12
  of
• 1:08:12
  pushed
• 1:08:13
  back
• 1:08:13
  and
• 1:08:13
  it's
• 1:08:13
  like
• 1:08:14
  really
• 1:08:14
  know
• 1:08:14
  your
• 1:08:15
  kid
• 1:08:15
  and.
• 1:08:15
  Right.
• 1:08:15
  You
• 1:08:16
  have
• 1:08:16
  to
• 1:08:16
  be
• 1:08:16
  flexible.
• 1:08:17
  Yeah,
• 1:08:17
  that's
• 1:08:18
  true.
• 1:08:18
  That's
• 1:08:18
  true.
• 1:08:20
  Yeah.
• 1:08:20
  So
• 1:08:21
  when
• 1:08:21
  you
• 1:08:21
  read
• 1:08:21
  the
• 1:08:21
  book,
• 1:08:22
  what
• 1:08:23
  did
• 1:08:23
  you
• 1:08:23
  think?
• 1:08:23
  Like,
• 1:08:23
  would
• 1:08:24
  you
• 1:08:24
  recognize.
• 1:08:24
  I
• 1:08:24
  love
• 1:08:24
  the
• 1:08:24
  book.
• 1:08:25
  Yeah,
• 1:08:25
  it
• 1:08:25
  was
• 1:08:25
  such
• 1:08:26
  a
• 1:08:26
  fast
• 1:08:26
  read.
• 1:08:26
  Actually,
• 1:08:27
  I
• 1:08:27
  read
• 1:08:27
  it
• 1:08:28
  when
• 1:08:28
  it
• 1:08:28
  first
• 1:08:28
  came
• 1:08:28
  out
• 1:08:28
  years
• 1:08:29
  ago
• 1:08:29
  and
• 1:08:30
  I
• 1:08:30
  don't
• 1:08:30
  actually
• 1:08:31
  remember
• 1:08:31
  loving
• 1:08:32
  it.
• 1:08:32
  Okay.
• 1:08:32
  I,
• 1:08:33
  I
• 1:08:33
  thought
• 1:08:33
  the
• 1:08:33
  lady
• 1:08:33
  was,
• 1:08:34
  I
• 1:08:34
  thought
• 1:08:34
  she
• 1:08:34
  was
• 1:08:35
  a
• 1:08:35
  little
• 1:08:35
  bonkers,
• 1:08:35
  to
• 1:08:36
  be
• 1:08:36
  honest.
• 1:08:36
  But
• 1:08:36
  then
• 1:08:37
  when
• 1:08:37
  I
• 1:08:37
  read
• 1:08:37
  it
• 1:08:37
  again
• 1:08:37
  this
• 1:08:38
  past
• 1:08:38
  week,
• 1:08:38
  I
• 1:08:39
  was
• 1:08:39
  giggling
• 1:08:39
  throughout
• 1:08:39
  the
• 1:08:40
  whole
• 1:08:40
  thing.
• 1:08:40
  I
• 1:08:40
  thought
• 1:08:40
  she
• 1:08:41
  was
• 1:08:41
  hilarious.
• 1:08:41
  And
• 1:08:42
  you
• 1:08:42
  know,
• 1:08:42
  it
• 1:08:42
  is
• 1:08:42
  tongue
• 1:08:42
  in
• 1:08:42
  cheek.
• 1:08:43
  And
• 1:08:43
  I
• 1:08:43
  think
• 1:08:43
  all
• 1:08:43
  the
• 1:08:43
  bad
• 1:08:44
  reviews
• 1:08:44
  or
• 1:08:45
  controversy
• 1:08:45
  surrounding
• 1:08:46
  that
• 1:08:46
  was
• 1:08:46
  because,
• 1:08:47
  you
• 1:08:47
  know,
• 1:08:47
  people
• 1:08:47
  just,
• 1:08:48
  you
• 1:08:48
  know,
• 1:08:48
  Read,
• 1:08:48
  you
• 1:08:49
  know,
• 1:08:49
  one,
• 1:08:49
  one
• 1:08:49
  word
• 1:08:50
  garbage
• 1:08:50
  or
• 1:08:51
  things
• 1:08:51
  like
• 1:08:51
  that.
• 1:08:51
  And,
• 1:08:52
  you
• 1:08:52
  know,
• 1:08:52
  they,
• 1:08:52
  they
• 1:08:53
  want
• 1:08:53
  that
• 1:08:53
  sensationalism.
• 1:08:54
  But
• 1:08:55
  I
• 1:08:55
  loved
• 1:08:56
  it.
• 1:08:56
  I
• 1:08:56
  thought
• 1:08:56
  it
• 1:08:56
  was
• 1:08:56
  amazing.
• 1:08:58
  Parts
• 1:08:59
  of
• 1:08:59
  me,
• 1:08:59
  as
• 1:08:59
  I
• 1:08:59
  read
• 1:09:00
  the
• 1:09:00
  book
• 1:09:00
  thought,
• 1:09:00
  oh,
• 1:09:01
  maybe
• 1:09:01
  I
• 1:09:01
  should
• 1:09:01
  have
• 1:09:01
  gone
• 1:09:01
  harder
• 1:09:02
  with
• 1:09:02
  the
• 1:09:02
  instruments
• 1:09:03
  not
• 1:09:04
  lined
• 1:09:04
  up
• 1:09:04
  as
• 1:09:04
  you
• 1:09:05
  know.
• 1:09:05
  So
• 1:09:05
  I.
• 1:09:06
  A
• 1:09:06
  few
• 1:09:06
  of
• 1:09:06
  those
• 1:09:06
  moments.
• 1:09:07
  But
• 1:09:07
  at
• 1:09:07
  the
• 1:09:08
  same
• 1:09:08
  time,
• 1:09:08
  I
• 1:09:08
  think
• 1:09:08
  overall
• 1:09:09
  my
• 1:09:09
  kids
• 1:09:09
  are
• 1:09:09
  pretty
• 1:09:10
  well
• 1:09:10
  adjusted.
• 1:09:10
  And
• 1:09:11
  so
• 1:09:11
  I
• 1:09:11
  think
• 1:09:11
  we're
• 1:09:11
  doing
• 1:09:11
  it
• 1:09:12
  kind
• 1:09:12
  of
• 1:09:12
  okay.
• 1:09:14
  So
• 1:09:15
  it
• 1:09:15
  might
• 1:09:15
  not
• 1:09:15
  lead
• 1:09:16
  to.
• 1:09:17
  I'm
• 1:09:17
  going
• 1:09:17
  to
• 1:09:17
  say
• 1:09:17
  it
• 1:09:18
  likely
• 1:09:18
  will
• 1:09:18
  not
• 1:09:18
  lead
• 1:09:18
  to
• 1:09:19
  Harvard,
• 1:09:19
  Yale,
• 1:09:19
  like,
• 1:09:20
  you
• 1:09:20
  know,
• 1:09:20
  where
• 1:09:20
  her
• 1:09:20
  kids
• 1:09:21
  ended
• 1:09:21
  up.
• 1:09:21
  But
• 1:09:21
  that's
• 1:09:21
  okay.
• 1:09:22
  Yeah.
• 1:09:22
  I
• 1:09:23
  think
• 1:09:23
  happy,
• 1:09:23
  happy
• 1:09:23
  kids
• 1:09:24
  is
• 1:09:24
  you
• 1:09:25
  really
• 1:09:25
  have
• 1:09:25
  to
• 1:09:25
  be
• 1:09:25
  happy
• 1:09:25
  and
• 1:09:26
  well
• 1:09:26
  adjusted
• 1:09:26
  to
• 1:09:27
  be
• 1:09:27
  successful.
• 1:09:27
  And
• 1:09:28
  I
• 1:09:28
  think
• 1:09:28
  college
• 1:09:28
  is
• 1:09:28
  really
• 1:09:29
  where
• 1:09:29
  you
• 1:09:30
  have
• 1:09:30
  to
• 1:09:30
  find
• 1:09:30
  yourself
• 1:09:31
  and
• 1:09:31
  work
• 1:09:31
  really
• 1:09:31
  hard.
• 1:09:31
  Really
• 1:09:32
  hard.
• 1:09:33
  Growing
• 1:09:33
  up,
• 1:09:33
  I
• 1:09:33
  always,
• 1:09:34
  my,
• 1:09:34
  my
• 1:09:35
  biggest
• 1:09:35
  ambition
• 1:09:36
  was
• 1:09:36
  to
• 1:09:36
  just
• 1:09:36
  get
• 1:09:36
  married
• 1:09:37
  and
• 1:09:37
  have
• 1:09:37
  kids.
• 1:09:38
  And
• 1:09:38
  I
• 1:09:38
  know
• 1:09:38
  that's
• 1:09:38
  a
• 1:09:39
  little
• 1:09:39
  strange,
• 1:09:39
  but,
• 1:09:40
  you
• 1:09:40
  know,
• 1:09:40
  so
• 1:09:40
  when
• 1:09:40
  I
• 1:09:40
  got
• 1:09:41
  into
• 1:09:41
  college,
• 1:09:41
  all
• 1:09:41
  my
• 1:09:42
  whole
• 1:09:42
  family,
• 1:09:43
  most
• 1:09:43
  of
• 1:09:43
  my
• 1:09:43
  aunts
• 1:09:43
  and
• 1:09:44
  uncles
• 1:09:44
  were
• 1:09:44
  like,
• 1:09:44
  oh,
• 1:09:44
  that's
• 1:09:45
  where
• 1:09:45
  now
• 1:09:45
  go
• 1:09:45
  find
• 1:09:45
  your
• 1:09:45
  husband.
• 1:09:46
  And
• 1:09:46
  so
• 1:09:47
  that
• 1:09:47
  was
• 1:09:47
  kind
• 1:09:47
  of
• 1:09:47
  the
• 1:09:48
  goal.
• 1:09:48
  Yes,
• 1:09:49
  exactly.
• 1:09:49
  Yes.
• 1:09:50
  Go
• 1:09:50
  find
• 1:09:50
  your
• 1:09:50
  husband.
• 1:09:52
  Really?
• 1:09:53
  Where.
• 1:09:53
  My
• 1:09:53
  parents
• 1:09:54
  were
• 1:09:54
  horrified,
• 1:09:54
  but
• 1:09:54
  that's
• 1:09:55
  what
• 1:09:55
  all
• 1:09:55
  the
• 1:09:55
  uncles
• 1:09:55
  and
• 1:09:55
  aunts
• 1:09:56
  said.
• 1:09:57
  But
• 1:09:57
  I
• 1:09:57
  always
• 1:09:57
  just
• 1:09:58
  wanted
• 1:09:58
  to
• 1:09:58
  have
• 1:09:58
  kids
• 1:09:58
  and
• 1:09:59
  stay
• 1:09:59
  home.
• 1:09:59
  Home.
• 1:10:00
  And
• 1:10:00
  so
• 1:10:00
  I
• 1:10:00
  did
• 1:10:01
  just
• 1:10:01
  that.
• 1:10:01
  And
• 1:10:01
  then
• 1:10:02
  once
• 1:10:03
  we
• 1:10:03
  moved
• 1:10:03
  to
• 1:10:03
  Abu
• 1:10:03
  Dhabi,
• 1:10:04
  fell
• 1:10:04
  in
• 1:10:04
  love
• 1:10:04
  with
• 1:10:04
  their
• 1:10:05
  private
• 1:10:05
  school
• 1:10:05
  and
• 1:10:05
  had
• 1:10:06
  that
• 1:10:06
  nice
• 1:10:06
  experience
• 1:10:07
  with
• 1:10:07
  trying
• 1:10:08
  all
• 1:10:08
  the
• 1:10:08
  test
• 1:10:08
  prep
• 1:10:09
  on
• 1:10:09
  testing
• 1:10:09
  Mom.
• 1:10:10
  That's
• 1:10:10
  when
• 1:10:10
  I
• 1:10:10
  reached
• 1:10:10
  out
• 1:10:11
  and
• 1:10:11
  said,
• 1:10:11
  do
• 1:10:11
  you
• 1:10:12
  have
• 1:10:12
  a
• 1:10:12
  job
• 1:10:12
  for
• 1:10:12
  me?
• 1:10:12
  Here's
• 1:10:13
  my
• 1:10:13
  background.
• 1:10:13
  I
• 1:10:14
  know
• 1:10:14
  what
• 1:10:14
  your
• 1:10:15
  platform
• 1:10:15
  did
• 1:10:15
  for
• 1:10:16
  us.
• 1:10:16
  And
• 1:10:16
  so
• 1:10:16
  that
• 1:10:17
  was
• 1:10:17
  really.
• 1:10:17
  That
• 1:10:18
  really
• 1:10:18
  started
• 1:10:19
  off
• 1:10:19
  my
• 1:10:19
  career
• 1:10:20
  in
• 1:10:20
  education
• 1:10:20
  because
• 1:10:21
  previously
• 1:10:21
  I
• 1:10:22
  had
• 1:10:22
  worked
• 1:10:22
  in
• 1:10:22
  finance
• 1:10:22
  out
• 1:10:23
  of
• 1:10:23
  college.
• 1:10:23
  And
• 1:10:23
  so
• 1:10:24
  I
• 1:10:24
  remember
• 1:10:24
  hearing,
• 1:10:25
  oh,
• 1:10:25
  we've
• 1:10:25
  got
• 1:10:26
  this
• 1:10:26
  family
• 1:10:26
  from
• 1:10:26
  Abu
• 1:10:27
  Dhabi
• 1:10:27
  and
• 1:10:28
  they're.
• 1:10:28
  They're
• 1:10:28
  getting
• 1:10:29
  their
• 1:10:29
  daughter
• 1:10:29
  ready
• 1:10:29
  for
• 1:10:30
  school.
• 1:10:30
  I
• 1:10:30
  remember
• 1:10:30
  hearing
• 1:10:31
  about
• 1:10:31
  that
• 1:10:31
  and
• 1:10:31
  I
• 1:10:31
  was
• 1:10:31
  like,
• 1:10:32
  ooh,
• 1:10:32
  how
• 1:10:32
  exciting.
• 1:10:33
  And
• 1:10:33
  it
• 1:10:34
  was
• 1:10:34
  you.
• 1:10:34
  Yeah.
• 1:10:36
  And
• 1:10:36
  you
• 1:10:37
  were
• 1:10:37
  like,
• 1:10:37
  so.
• 1:10:37
  You
• 1:10:37
  seemed
• 1:10:38
  so
• 1:10:38
  cosmopolitan
• 1:10:39
  to
• 1:10:39
  me
• 1:10:40
  coming
• 1:10:40
  from
• 1:10:40
  Abu
• 1:10:41
  Dhabi.
• 1:10:41
  But.
• 1:10:41
  And
• 1:10:42
  we
• 1:10:42
  worked
• 1:10:42
  together
• 1:10:42
  as,
• 1:10:43
  you
• 1:10:43
  know,
• 1:10:43
  just
• 1:10:44
  to
• 1:10:44
  help.
• 1:10:44
  Help
• 1:10:45
  you
• 1:10:45
  help
• 1:10:45
  your.
• 1:10:46
  I'm
• 1:10:46
  not
• 1:10:46
  even
• 1:10:46
  sure.
• 1:10:46
  I
• 1:10:47
  think
• 1:10:47
  I
• 1:10:47
  just
• 1:10:47
  googled,
• 1:10:48
  like,
• 1:10:48
  test
• 1:10:48
  prep
• 1:10:48
  online.
• 1:10:49
  Because
• 1:10:49
  when
• 1:10:50
  we
• 1:10:50
  were
• 1:10:50
  living
• 1:10:50
  in
• 1:10:50
  Abu
• 1:10:50
  Dhabi,
• 1:10:51
  they
• 1:10:51
  didn't
• 1:10:51
  have
• 1:10:51
  a
• 1:10:51
  good
• 1:10:52
  mailing
• 1:10:52
  system
• 1:10:52
  at
• 1:10:52
  the
• 1:10:52
  time.
• 1:10:53
  And
• 1:10:53
  so
• 1:10:54
  even
• 1:10:54
  if
• 1:10:54
  you
• 1:10:54
  ordered
• 1:10:54
  food,
• 1:10:55
  it's
• 1:10:55
  like,
• 1:10:55
  I
• 1:10:55
  live
• 1:10:55
  in
• 1:10:55
  the
• 1:10:55
  red
• 1:10:56
  house
• 1:10:56
  next
• 1:10:56
  to
• 1:10:56
  the
• 1:10:56
  tall
• 1:10:57
  building
• 1:10:57
  next
• 1:10:57
  to
• 1:10:57
  the.
• 1:10:58
  Yeah,
• 1:10:58
  whatever.
• 1:10:59
  So
• 1:10:59
  I
• 1:10:59
  needed
• 1:11:00
  something
• 1:11:00
  online
• 1:11:01
  because
• 1:11:02
  I
• 1:11:02
  couldn't,
• 1:11:03
  you
• 1:11:03
  know,
• 1:11:03
  rely
• 1:11:04
  on
• 1:11:04
  a
• 1:11:04
  book
• 1:11:04
  to
• 1:11:04
  actually
• 1:11:05
  get
• 1:11:05
  to
• 1:11:05
  me.
• 1:11:05
  Yeah.
• 1:11:06
  And
• 1:11:06
  so
• 1:11:07
  that.
• 1:11:07
  That's
• 1:11:07
  when
• 1:11:07
  I
• 1:11:07
  found
• 1:11:07
  you
• 1:11:08
  guys.
• 1:11:08
  And
• 1:11:08
  it
• 1:11:08
  worked
• 1:11:08
  and
• 1:11:09
  it
• 1:11:09
  was
• 1:11:09
  so
• 1:11:09
  affordable,
• 1:11:10
  so.
• 1:11:11
  Yeah,
• 1:11:11
  well,
• 1:11:12
  no,
• 1:11:12
  I'm
• 1:11:12
  so
• 1:11:12
  glad
• 1:11:13
  you
• 1:11:13
  reached
• 1:11:13
  out
• 1:11:13
  all
• 1:11:14
  those
• 1:11:14
  years
• 1:11:14
  ago.
• 1:11:14
  And
• 1:11:14
  we've
• 1:11:14
  gotten
• 1:11:15
  to
• 1:11:15
  know
• 1:11:15
  each
• 1:11:15
  other
• 1:11:15
  through
• 1:11:16
  the
• 1:11:16
  years.
• 1:11:16
  And
• 1:11:16
  it's
• 1:11:17
  funny,
• 1:11:17
  every
• 1:11:18
  job
• 1:11:18
  that
• 1:11:18
  I've
• 1:11:18
  had,
• 1:11:19
  it's
• 1:11:19
  not
• 1:11:19
  because
• 1:11:19
  of
• 1:11:20
  a
• 1:11:20
  resume
• 1:11:20
  I've
• 1:11:20
  sent.
• 1:11:20
  It's
• 1:11:21
  because
• 1:11:21
  I've
• 1:11:21
  either
• 1:11:22
  used
• 1:11:22
  their
• 1:11:22
  product
• 1:11:23
  or
• 1:11:24
  gave
• 1:11:24
  a
• 1:11:24
  very
• 1:11:24
  personal
• 1:11:25
  kind
• 1:11:25
  of
• 1:11:26
  email
• 1:11:27
  saying,
• 1:11:27
  you
• 1:11:27
  know,
• 1:11:28
  just,
• 1:11:28
  you
• 1:11:29
  know,
• 1:11:29
  after
• 1:11:29
  you
• 1:11:29
  guys,
• 1:11:30
  I
• 1:11:30
  ended
• 1:11:30
  up
• 1:11:30
  becoming
• 1:11:31
  a
• 1:11:31
  director
• 1:11:31
  of
• 1:11:31
  admissions
• 1:11:32
  for
• 1:11:32
  a
• 1:11:32
  private
• 1:11:32
  school.
• 1:11:33
  And
• 1:11:33
  it's
• 1:11:33
  because
• 1:11:33
  I.
• 1:11:34
  My
• 1:11:34
  girls
• 1:11:34
  actually
• 1:11:35
  applied
• 1:11:35
  to
• 1:11:35
  that
• 1:11:35
  private
• 1:11:35
  school.
• 1:11:36
  We
• 1:11:36
  ended
• 1:11:36
  up
• 1:11:37
  not
• 1:11:37
  taking
• 1:11:37
  the
• 1:11:37
  seats
• 1:11:38
  for
• 1:11:38
  various
• 1:11:38
  reasons,
• 1:11:39
  but
• 1:11:40
  I
• 1:11:40
  had
• 1:11:40
  interviewed
• 1:11:40
  with
• 1:11:40
  the
• 1:11:41
  director
• 1:11:41
  of
• 1:11:41
  admissions.
• 1:11:41
  I
• 1:11:42
  wrote
• 1:11:42
  her
• 1:11:42
  a
• 1:11:42
  nice
• 1:11:42
  letter,
• 1:11:42
  and
• 1:11:42
  I
• 1:11:43
  said
• 1:11:43
  I
• 1:11:43
  loved
• 1:11:43
  everything
• 1:11:43
  about
• 1:11:44
  your
• 1:11:44
  school
• 1:11:45
  for
• 1:11:45
  XYZ
• 1:11:45
  reasons.
• 1:11:46
  This
• 1:11:46
  is
• 1:11:46
  not
• 1:11:46
  the
• 1:11:46
  best
• 1:11:46
  time
• 1:11:47
  for
• 1:11:47
  us
• 1:11:47
  to
• 1:11:47
  make
• 1:11:47
  the
• 1:11:47
  switch.
• 1:11:48
  And
• 1:11:48
  it
• 1:11:48
  was
• 1:11:48
  really
• 1:11:49
  just
• 1:11:49
  kind
• 1:11:49
  of.
• 1:11:49
  We
• 1:11:49
  were
• 1:11:50
  researching.
• 1:11:51
  But,
• 1:11:51
  you
• 1:11:51
  know,
• 1:11:52
  I
• 1:11:52
  would
• 1:11:52
  love
• 1:11:52
  to
• 1:11:52
  work
• 1:11:52
  with
• 1:11:52
  you.
• 1:11:53
  Saw
• 1:11:53
  an
• 1:11:53
  opening.
• 1:11:54
  Can
• 1:11:54
  I
• 1:11:54
  come
• 1:11:54
  in?
• 1:11:54
  And
• 1:11:55
  this
• 1:11:55
  is
• 1:11:55
  my
• 1:11:55
  background.
• 1:11:55
  And
• 1:11:56
  then.
• 1:11:56
  Yeah,
• 1:11:57
  so.
• 1:11:58
  Well,
• 1:11:58
  that's
• 1:11:58
  a
• 1:11:58
  great
• 1:11:59
  way
• 1:11:59
  to
• 1:11:59
  get
• 1:11:59
  a
• 1:11:59
  job,
• 1:11:59
  actually.
• 1:12:00
  I
• 1:12:00
  think
• 1:12:00
  so.
• 1:12:01
  Because
• 1:12:01
  otherwise
• 1:12:02
  you're
• 1:12:02
  just
• 1:12:02
  another
• 1:12:02
  resume
• 1:12:03
  that
• 1:12:03
  they
• 1:12:04
  may
• 1:12:04
  or
• 1:12:04
  may
• 1:12:04
  not
• 1:12:04
  see.
• 1:12:05
  Yeah.
• 1:12:06
  Or
• 1:12:06
  if
• 1:12:06
  AI
• 1:12:07
  is
• 1:12:07
  scanning,
• 1:12:07
  they're
• 1:12:08
  not.
• 1:12:08
  Actually.
• 1:12:08
  I
• 1:12:09
  don't
• 1:12:09
  think
• 1:12:10
  they're
• 1:12:10
  looking
• 1:12:10
  for
• 1:12:10
  the
• 1:12:10
  right
• 1:12:11
  things.
• 1:12:11
  No.
• 1:12:11
  But
• 1:12:12
  I
• 1:12:12
  remember
• 1:12:12
  hearing
• 1:12:13
  from
• 1:12:13
  you
• 1:12:13
  thinking.
• 1:12:14
  And
• 1:12:14
  I
• 1:12:14
  was
• 1:12:14
  like,
• 1:12:14
  oh,
• 1:12:14
  she's
• 1:12:15
  a
• 1:12:15
  parent.
• 1:12:16
  She's
• 1:12:16
  used
• 1:12:16
  our
• 1:12:17
  product.
• 1:12:17
  She
• 1:12:17
  understands
• 1:12:18
  what
• 1:12:18
  we
• 1:12:18
  need
• 1:12:19
  to
• 1:12:19
  do.
• 1:12:19
  And
• 1:12:20
  so
• 1:12:20
  when
• 1:12:20
  you
• 1:12:20
  suggested
• 1:12:21
  it,
• 1:12:21
  I
• 1:12:21
  was
• 1:12:21
  like,
• 1:12:22
  why
• 1:12:22
  not?
• 1:12:23
  Yeah.
• 1:12:23
  And
• 1:12:24
  I
• 1:12:24
  think
• 1:12:24
  a
• 1:12:24
  parent
• 1:12:24
  who
• 1:12:25
  used
• 1:12:25
  the
• 1:12:25
  product
• 1:12:25
  is
• 1:12:25
  probably
• 1:12:26
  the
• 1:12:26
  best
• 1:12:27
  because
• 1:12:27
  you
• 1:12:27
  know,
• 1:12:28
  what
• 1:12:28
  other
• 1:12:28
  parents
• 1:12:28
  want
• 1:12:29
  and
• 1:12:29
  what
• 1:12:30
  they're
• 1:12:30
  looking
• 1:12:30
  for
• 1:12:30
  for
• 1:12:30
  their
• 1:12:31
  kids.
• 1:12:31
  And.
• 1:12:32
  And
• 1:12:32
  actually,
• 1:12:33
  a
• 1:12:33
  lot
• 1:12:33
  of
• 1:12:33
  the
• 1:12:33
  people
• 1:12:33
  who
• 1:12:34
  work
• 1:12:34
  at
• 1:12:34
  Testing
• 1:12:34
  mom
• 1:12:35
  started
• 1:12:35
  out
• 1:12:35
  as
• 1:12:36
  Testing
• 1:12:37
  mom
• 1:12:37
  parents.
• 1:12:37
  Like.
• 1:12:38
  Yeah,
• 1:12:38
  Joanne.
• 1:12:39
  And.
• 1:12:39
  Yeah,
• 1:12:39
  a
• 1:12:39
  lot
• 1:12:39
  of
• 1:12:40
  people
• 1:12:40
  did.
• 1:12:40
  Well,
• 1:12:40
  I
• 1:12:40
  think.
• 1:12:41
  Doxeder.
• 1:12:41
  Oh,
• 1:12:42
  Dean,
• 1:12:42
  stop.
• 1:12:43
  Stop
• 1:12:43
  doxing
• 1:12:44
  people.
• 1:12:44
  I
• 1:12:44
  actually
• 1:12:44
  still
• 1:12:45
  don't
• 1:12:45
  know
• 1:12:45
  what
• 1:12:45
  that
• 1:12:45
  means.
• 1:12:45
  I
• 1:12:46
  tried
• 1:12:46
  to
• 1:12:46
  Google
• 1:12:46
  it
• 1:12:46
  when
• 1:12:46
  you
• 1:12:47
  mentioned
• 1:12:47
  it,
• 1:12:47
  but
• 1:12:47
  my
• 1:12:47
  phone
• 1:12:48
  wasn't.
• 1:12:48
  The
• 1:12:49
  WI
• 1:12:49
  fi
• 1:12:49
  wasn't
• 1:12:49
  working.
• 1:12:49
  I
• 1:12:50
  just
• 1:12:50
  found
• 1:12:50
  out
• 1:12:50
  it
• 1:12:50
  means,
• 1:12:51
  like,
• 1:12:51
  documents.
• 1:12:52
  You're.
• 1:12:52
  You're.
• 1:12:53
  You're.
• 1:12:53
  Doc.
• 1:12:53
  You're
• 1:12:54
  telling
• 1:12:55
  true.
• 1:12:55
  You
• 1:12:55
  know,
• 1:12:55
  information.
• 1:12:56
  Personal
• 1:12:56
  information.
• 1:12:57
  At
• 1:12:57
  least
• 1:12:57
  that's
• 1:12:57
  what
• 1:12:57
  I
• 1:12:57
  think
• 1:12:57
  it
• 1:12:58
  means.
• 1:12:58
  Like,
• 1:12:58
  don't
• 1:12:59
  quote
• 1:12:59
  me.
• 1:12:59
  I'm
• 1:12:59
  wrong
• 1:12:59
  all
• 1:12:59
  the
• 1:13:00
  time.
• 1:13:00
  We
• 1:13:00
  don't
• 1:13:00
  know.
• 1:13:00
  But
• 1:13:01
  anyway.
• 1:13:01
  But,
• 1:13:02
  you
• 1:13:02
  know,
• 1:13:02
  this
• 1:13:02
  was
• 1:13:02
  so
• 1:13:03
  interesting,
• 1:13:03
  Sandy.
• 1:13:04
  Thank
• 1:13:05
  you.
• 1:13:05
  Because
• 1:13:06
  when
• 1:13:06
  I
• 1:13:06
  was
• 1:13:07
  reading
• 1:13:07
  this
• 1:13:07
  book,
• 1:13:07
  I
• 1:13:07
  was
• 1:13:08
  just
• 1:13:08
  dying
• 1:13:08
  to
• 1:13:09
  talk
• 1:13:09
  to
• 1:13:09
  someone
• 1:13:10
  who
• 1:13:10
  actually
• 1:13:10
  had
• 1:13:11
  experience
• 1:13:11
  being
• 1:13:11
  brought
• 1:13:12
  up
• 1:13:12
  that
• 1:13:12
  way
• 1:13:13
  in
• 1:13:13
  the
• 1:13:13
  United
• 1:13:13
  States.
• 1:13:14
  You
• 1:13:14
  know,
• 1:13:15
  as
• 1:13:15
  well,
• 1:13:16
  like
• 1:13:16
  what
• 1:13:16
  it
• 1:13:16
  would
• 1:13:17
  be
• 1:13:17
  like.
• 1:13:18
  And
• 1:13:19
  I
• 1:13:19
  wanted
• 1:13:19
  to
• 1:13:20
  know
• 1:13:20
  what
• 1:13:20
  Lulu
• 1:13:20
  and
• 1:13:21
  Sophia
• 1:13:22
  thought.
• 1:13:22
  And
• 1:13:22
  of
• 1:13:22
  course,
• 1:13:23
  we
• 1:13:23
  don't
• 1:13:23
  get
• 1:13:23
  their
• 1:13:23
  point
• 1:13:23
  of
• 1:13:24
  view.
• 1:13:24
  Oh,
• 1:13:25
  and
• 1:13:25
  you
• 1:13:25
  have
• 1:13:25
  an
• 1:13:26
  answer,
• 1:13:26
  too,
• 1:13:26
  because
• 1:13:27
  you
• 1:13:27
  have
• 1:13:27
  a
• 1:13:27
  later
• 1:13:27
  version.
• 1:13:28
  Yeah,
• 1:13:28
  I
• 1:13:28
  think
• 1:13:28
  I
• 1:13:28
  have
• 1:13:29
  a
• 1:13:29
  later
• 1:13:29
  version
• 1:13:29
  of
• 1:13:29
  the
• 1:13:29
  book
• 1:13:30
  because
• 1:13:30
  I
• 1:13:30
  was
• 1:13:30
  worried
• 1:13:31
  about
• 1:13:31
  her
• 1:13:31
  sister,
• 1:13:31
  about
• 1:13:32
  Amy's
• 1:13:32
  sister.
• 1:13:32
  I
• 1:13:33
  was
• 1:13:33
  like,
• 1:13:33
  girl
• 1:13:33
  worried.
• 1:13:34
  And
• 1:13:35
  I
• 1:13:35
  think,
• 1:13:35
  you
• 1:13:35
  know,
• 1:13:35
  after
• 1:13:36
  this
• 1:13:36
  camera
• 1:13:36
  out,
• 1:13:36
  it
• 1:13:37
  had
• 1:13:37
  a
• 1:13:37
  new
• 1:13:37
  afterward,
• 1:13:38
  and
• 1:13:38
  it
• 1:13:38
  said
• 1:13:38
  that
• 1:13:39
  her
• 1:13:39
  sister
• 1:13:39
  was
• 1:13:39
  doing
• 1:13:39
  much
• 1:13:40
  better
• 1:13:41
  and
• 1:13:41
  she
• 1:13:41
  was
• 1:13:41
  on
• 1:13:41
  the
• 1:13:41
  road
• 1:13:42
  to
• 1:13:42
  recovery.
• 1:13:42
  And
• 1:13:42
  so
• 1:13:43
  that
• 1:13:43
  made
• 1:13:43
  me
• 1:13:43
  happy
• 1:13:43
  to
• 1:13:44
  hear
• 1:13:44
  because
• 1:13:44
  I
• 1:13:44
  was
• 1:13:44
  actually
• 1:13:44
  trying
• 1:13:45
  to
• 1:13:45
  Google
• 1:13:45
  it
• 1:13:45
  on
• 1:13:45
  my
• 1:13:45
  own.
• 1:13:47
  Yes.
• 1:13:48
  Oh,
• 1:13:48
  okay,
• 1:13:48
  good.
• 1:13:49
  Well,
• 1:13:49
  probably
• 1:13:49
  AI
• 1:13:50
  would
• 1:13:50
  have
• 1:13:50
  the
• 1:13:50
  answer.
• 1:13:51
  You
• 1:13:51
  know,
• 1:13:51
  I
• 1:13:51
  asked
• 1:13:52
  Chat
• 1:13:52
  GPT.
• 1:13:52
  I.
• 1:13:53
  I
• 1:13:54
  googled
• 1:13:54
  various
• 1:13:55
  ways
• 1:13:55
  because
• 1:13:55
  I
• 1:13:56
  needed
• 1:13:56
  to
• 1:13:56
  know,
• 1:13:56
  and
• 1:13:57
  I.
• 1:13:57
  I
• 1:13:57
  didn't.
• 1:13:57
  AI
• 1:13:58
  doesn't
• 1:13:58
  know
• 1:13:58
  everything.
• 1:13:59
  It
• 1:13:59
  doesn't
• 1:13:59
  know
• 1:13:59
  everything.
• 1:13:59
  And
• 1:14:00
  there
• 1:14:00
  are
• 1:14:00
  mistakes
• 1:14:00
  I've
• 1:14:01
  captured.
• 1:14:01
  So,
• 1:14:01
  yeah,
• 1:14:02
  it's.
• 1:14:02
  Don't
• 1:14:03
  trust
• 1:14:03
  AI.
• 1:14:04
  Always
• 1:14:04
  do
• 1:14:04
  your
• 1:14:05
  own
• 1:14:05
  research
• 1:14:05
  or
• 1:14:05
  confirm
• 1:14:06
  your.
• 1:14:07
  Confirm
• 1:14:07
  your
• 1:14:07
  findings.
• 1:14:09
  Well,
• 1:14:09
  thank
• 1:14:09
  you
• 1:14:10
  for
• 1:14:10
  coming,
• 1:14:10
  and
• 1:14:12
  I
• 1:14:12
  was
• 1:14:12
  so
• 1:14:12
  excited
• 1:14:12
  when
• 1:14:13
  you
• 1:14:13
  asked
• 1:14:13
  me,
• 1:14:13
  so
• 1:14:14
  it
• 1:14:14
  was
• 1:14:15
  fun
• 1:14:15
  having
• 1:14:15
  you.
• 1:14:15
  Your
• 1:14:16
  perspective
• 1:14:16
  is
• 1:14:16
  really
• 1:14:17
  interesting
• 1:14:17
  because
• 1:14:18
  so
• 1:14:18
  many
• 1:14:18
  times
• 1:14:18
  we
• 1:14:18
  read
• 1:14:19
  these
• 1:14:19
  books
• 1:14:20
  and
• 1:14:20
  we
• 1:14:20
  either
• 1:14:20
  hate
• 1:14:21
  them
• 1:14:21
  or
• 1:14:21
  we
• 1:14:21
  love
• 1:14:21
  them,
• 1:14:21
  but
• 1:14:21
  we
• 1:14:22
  don't
• 1:14:22
  really
• 1:14:22
  get
• 1:14:23
  the
• 1:14:23
  perspective
• 1:14:24
  of
• 1:14:24
  somebody
• 1:14:24
  who
• 1:14:24
  has
• 1:14:25
  lived
• 1:14:25
  them
• 1:14:26
  right,
• 1:14:26
  you
• 1:14:26
  know?
• 1:14:27
  So
• 1:14:27
  I'm
• 1:14:27
  really
• 1:14:27
  glad
• 1:14:27
  we
• 1:14:28
  got
• 1:14:28
  to
• 1:14:28
  talk
• 1:14:28
  to
• 1:14:28
  you
• 1:14:28
  today.
• 1:14:29
  I
• 1:14:29
  had
• 1:14:29
  a
• 1:14:29
  lot
• 1:14:29
  of
• 1:14:29
  fun.
• 1:14:30
  So
• 1:14:30
  thank
• 1:14:30
  you.
• 1:14:30
  You.
• 1:14:31
  Thanks.
• 1:14:31
  And
• 1:14:32
  thank
• 1:14:32
  you
• 1:14:32
  guys
• 1:14:32
  so
• 1:14:32
  much.
• 1:14:33
  We'll
• 1:14:33
  see
• 1:14:33
  you
• 1:14:33
  again
• 1:14:33
  next
• 1:14:34
  week
• 1:14:34
  for
• 1:14:34
  another
• 1:14:34
  episode
• 1:14:35
  of
• 1:14:35
  Other
• 1:14:35
  People's
• 1:14:36
  Parenting.