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1 Peter 3:1-7 - How Wives Submit to God through Submission in Marriage · The Bible Explained with Jenn Kokal

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Speaker 1: Life Audio. Hi, faithful listeners. Welcome to the Bible Explained
0:12
Speaker 1: podcast on this lovely, lovely Thursday morning. Thank you all
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Speaker 1: for being here. We're going to be talking about a
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Speaker 1: very hot button topic. This is one that I think
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Speaker 1: a lot of people don't really care for, if I'm
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Speaker 1: being honest, because it's talking about the women's role in
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Speaker 1: submission to Christ in the marriage relationship. In fact, I'm
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Speaker 1: pretty sure women of all time periods have never liked
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Speaker 1: this topic. And honestly, because of the sinful nature, it
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Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense. Part of the curse means
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Speaker 1: that men and women are always going to battle against
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Speaker 1: each other. So women don't like to hear that they
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Speaker 1: need to be in submission. They don't like to hear
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Speaker 1: that their husband is the head of the household. They
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Speaker 1: don't like to hear these things. And honestly, I really
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Speaker 1: understand it because I used to be one of those
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Speaker 1: women myself. So we're going to dive into 1 Peter 3,
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Speaker 1: 1 through 6. As this advertisement plays, go grab your
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Speaker 1: Bible out of the version that you prefer and also
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Speaker 1: your cup of coffee or cup of tea this morning.
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Speaker 1: And we'll dive right in right after this sponsored ad.
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Speaker 1: And let's go ahead and dive into 1 Peter 3,
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Speaker 1: 1 through 6. As I usually do, I'll be reading
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Speaker 1: from the World English Bible or the WEB. But go
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Speaker 1: ahead and grab your favorite version of scripture, whatever that
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Speaker 1: might be. And let's go ahead and read 1 Peter 3,
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Speaker 1: 1 through 6 together. In the same way, wives, be
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Speaker 1: in subjection to your own husbands, so that even if
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Speaker 1: any don't obey the word, they may be won by
1:38
Speaker 1: the behavior of their wives without a word, seeing your
1:41
Speaker 1: pure behavior in fear. Let your beauty come not from
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Speaker 1: the outward adorning of braiding of hair and of wearing
1:47
Speaker 1: gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, but from
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Speaker 1: the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment
1:53
Speaker 1: of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious
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Speaker 1: in God's sight. For this is how in the past
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Speaker 1: the holy women who hoped in God also adorned themselves,
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Speaker 1: being in subjection to their own husbands. So Sarah obeyed Abraham,
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Speaker 1: calling him Lord, whose children you now are, if you
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Speaker 1: do well and are not put in fear by any terror.
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Speaker 1: In the past few days, we've been talking about the
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Speaker 1: topic of submission. And that started in 1 Peter 2,
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Speaker 1: verse 13, where it says, Therefore, subject yourselves to every
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Speaker 1: ordinance of man for the Lord's sake. And then if
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Speaker 1: you jump to verse 17, it says, Honor all men,
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Speaker 1: love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. So we've
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Speaker 1: talked about two forms of submission so far. The first
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Speaker 1: form being that Christians should submit to the king because
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Speaker 1: God put them in their places. Even if these governments
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Speaker 1: are evil and wicked and doing evil things, we are
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Speaker 1: to submit to them as long as we are not
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Speaker 1: disobeying God's commands. So obviously, God comes first. Submission to
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Speaker 1: God comes first. Then we submit to the government. And
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Speaker 1: we've seen examples of people in the Old Testament who
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Speaker 1: have submitted to rulers in pagan governments while also not
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Speaker 1: going against God in any way. So, for example, you
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Speaker 1: see stories like Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and Esther,
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Speaker 1: who we're going through right now on the Old Testament
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Speaker 1: side of stuff, and many other examples as well of
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Speaker 1: people who have submitted to pagan kings while not compromising
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Speaker 1: on their faith. And submission and humility go hand in
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Speaker 1: hand and they are Christian virtues because Jesus himself showed
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Speaker 1: submission and servitude and humility when he went to the
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Speaker 1: cross on our behalf. And since Jesus is the ultimate
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Speaker 1: example of these Christian virtues, then us Christians should also
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Speaker 1: learn submission and humility no matter where God places us
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Speaker 1: in life. So that is why we Christians are to
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Speaker 1: submit even if we don't like submission. the person who
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Speaker 1: is in charge. And that goes also for servants with
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Speaker 1: their earthly masters. That is what 1 Peter 2, 18
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Speaker 1: through 25 talks about. Because the entire population of Rome
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Speaker 1: in Peter's day, 50% of it were slaves. So a
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Speaker 1: huge population of Rome were not freemen. So Peter tells them,
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Speaker 1: submit to your earthly masters because as Jesus submitted by
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Speaker 1: going to the cross on our behalf for our souls,
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Speaker 1: Servants can play a small part being similar to Jesus
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Speaker 1: by trying to emulate that same behavior with their masters.
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Speaker 1: Because Peter and Paul and the other apostles understood that
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Speaker 1: servants weren't dregs of society. They knew that slaves were
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Speaker 1: created in God's image, that they had no lesser value
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Speaker 1: than the people who owned them, and that those slaves
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Speaker 1: could potentially, through the witness of Jesus, bring their masters
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Speaker 1: and the people who owned them to salvation, to believing
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Speaker 1: in Jesus. Now, of course, Jesus does the saving, but
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Speaker 1: you guys get what I'm saying. Now in 1 Peter 3,
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Speaker 1: our passage for today, it says, in the same way
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Speaker 1: wives be in subjection to your own husbands. So now
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Speaker 1: Peter moves into a different part of submission, submission in
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Speaker 1: the marriage relationship. And he talks both to men and
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Speaker 1: to women here, but he starts with the women first. which,
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Speaker 1: by the way, is a little bit countercultural for this
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Speaker 1: time period, because usually women either wouldn't be addressed at
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Speaker 1: all or they would be addressed after the men were addressed.
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Speaker 1: In fact, here's what it says when I researched this.
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Speaker 1: This is from Grok. It says standard Greco-Roman writings on
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Speaker 1: household management typically spoke to the male head of the
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Speaker 1: household called paterfamilias. They instructed him on how to rule
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Speaker 1: over his wife, children and slaves. Subordinates were usually discussed
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Speaker 1: in the third person as people under his authority, not
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Speaker 1: addressing directly as moral agents with their own responsibility and choice.
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Speaker 1: And that is from Biblio Odyssey is where Grok found
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Speaker 1: that from, or I'm sorry, Bible Odyssey, actually. So yes,
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Speaker 1: this was very countercultural the way that Peter was addressing
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Speaker 1: the women here and not in the third person, but
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Speaker 1: as unique individual people that he actually says are joint
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Speaker 1: heirs of the grace of life in verse seven, which again,
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Speaker 1: very counter-cultural because Peter isn't just saying that women have
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Speaker 1: inherent value, but he's also saying that they are co-heirs
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Speaker 1: with their husbands, meaning they own something together with their husbands.
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Speaker 1: Even though culture in the days of Peter was very
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Speaker 1: messed up and still is to this day, there's always
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Speaker 1: been a battle between men and women. Peter understands something
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Speaker 1: about women that the majority of Roman and Greek men
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Speaker 1: did not understand at this time, that women were created
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Speaker 1: in God's image and they have value. Just as when
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Speaker 1: we talked about the slave the other day, the slave
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Speaker 1: has just as much value in the eyes of God
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Speaker 1: as the master does. And I think what makes people
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Speaker 1: so uncomfortable with what Peter is talking about here in
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Speaker 1: the case of submission is that Peter is actually saying
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Speaker 1: that that our personal and physical comfort is actually less
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Speaker 1: important than the spiritual health of another person. It is
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Speaker 1: better to make ourselves uncomfortable physically if that might cause
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Speaker 1: somebody else to become saved. And that is why so
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Speaker 1: many people don't like the book of 1 Peter, because
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Speaker 1: it's actually telling us to put ourselves underneath another person.
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Speaker 1: And again, this is all spoken about to Christians. This
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Speaker 1: is not spoken to non-Christians. And I don't think that
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Speaker 1: Peter was expecting non-Christians to look at his letter and
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Speaker 1: follow things in here. This is talking to Christian women
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Speaker 1: who do not have Christian husbands. But even if a
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Speaker 1: Christian woman does have a Christian husband, this still applies.
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Speaker 1: And I can tell you that before I really started
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Speaker 1: taking the My marriage was so much more unhealthy than
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Speaker 1: it is now because there was a lot less respect.
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Speaker 1: I was thinking more about myself than I was about
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Speaker 1: my husband, and I still do sometimes. We still get
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Speaker 1: into fights from time to time because we are both
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Speaker 1: fallen individuals. And the reason we fight is because we
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Speaker 1: want something that the other person is not doing for
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Speaker 1: us or not willing to do or something along those lines.
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Speaker 1: But if you have two people really working at putting
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Speaker 1: the other person ahead of themselves, that makes for a
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Speaker 1: very good relationship. And that is what Peter in this
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Speaker 1: passage and also Paul in Ephesians chapter five, we're trying
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Speaker 1: to do for women and men in a broken and
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Speaker 1: fallen world. So let's really dig into what Peter says
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Speaker 1: right here. In the same way, wives, be in subjection
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Speaker 1: to your own husbands so that even if any don't
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Speaker 1: obey the word, they may be won over by the
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Speaker 1: behavior of their wives without a word, seeing your pure
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Speaker 1: behavior in fear. So there is one caveat with all
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Speaker 1: of this. Women do not need to obey any other man.
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Speaker 1: There is nothing in scripture that says a woman must
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Speaker 1: obey any man on the planet that tells her to
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Speaker 1: do something. Nothing. The only time a woman is commanded
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Speaker 1: to be in submission is with her own husband and
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Speaker 1: with her father. So Peter makes that very clear. Women,
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Speaker 1: don't be in submission to any other man other than
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Speaker 1: your husband. Be in subjection to your own husbands. So
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Speaker 1: that brings us to a many of you women listening
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Speaker 1: into this podcast may not have ever done this. But
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Speaker 1: there are some women that I've known in the past
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Speaker 1: that do submit to other men above their own husband's.
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Speaker 1: It might be a counselor that they have or a psychologist.
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Speaker 1: It might be a pastor that they respect or another
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Speaker 1: authority that they respect more than they respect the words
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Speaker 1: of their own husbands. That I believe is a sinful
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Speaker 1: thing to do. So if your husband has a problem
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Speaker 1: with something that you're doing, but another man says, oh no,
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Speaker 1: it's totally fine what you're doing. In fact, you should
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Speaker 1: be doing this because it's good or whatever. And they
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Speaker 1: can't give you any biblical reason for you to actually
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Speaker 1: go against your husband, then you should not listen to
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Speaker 1: that man. You should follow your husband. Now, if your
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Speaker 1: husband is telling you to sin in some way, similar
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Speaker 1: to how you don't compromise on your faith with governments
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Speaker 1: telling you to abandon your faith or something like that,
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Speaker 1: you also don't do the same thing with your husband.
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Speaker 1: The first authority that you should have is God himself.
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Speaker 1: That's why Ephesians chapter five says, Verse 22 says, So
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Speaker 1: you put God first in your life, and then your husband,
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Speaker 1: of course, comes second. But according to Christian wives, their
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Speaker 1: husbands should have the first say in the things that
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Speaker 1: they choose to do. And other men should not have
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Speaker 1: that say in your life, especially if it goes against
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Speaker 1: something that your husband's told you to do. So, We
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Speaker 1: are to be in subject to our own husbands, not
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Speaker 1: to anybody else. So that if any don't obey the word,
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Speaker 1: they may be won over by the behavior of their
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Speaker 1: wives without a word. Seeing your pure behavior in fear.
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Speaker 1: And a lot of critics of the Bible like to
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Speaker 1: add words to Peter here and say, Peter is saying
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Speaker 1: that wives can never talk to their husbands. No, that's
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Speaker 1: not what he says at all. He says, your behavior
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Speaker 1: will win your husband's over without you saying a word.
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Speaker 1: You don't even have to say a word to your husband.
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Speaker 1: If you just do something that is biblical and good
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Speaker 1: in front of your husband who does not believe, and
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Speaker 1: you do it enough times for him to see that
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Speaker 1: there is a genuine change in your life, to see
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Speaker 1: that there is something genuinely good that you are following,
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Speaker 1: that might be enough to spur them in fear is
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Speaker 1: what it says right here in verse two. toward Jesus.
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Speaker 1: So let your beauty, verse three, come not from the
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Speaker 1: outward adorning of braiding of hair and of wearing gold
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Speaker 1: ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, but from the
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Speaker 1: hidden person of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of
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Speaker 1: a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in
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Speaker 1: God's sight. So again, people like to twist what Peter
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Speaker 1: was saying here to women and say, women can never
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Speaker 1: wear jewelry. I remember when Wes Huff first got famous
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Speaker 1: from that debate that he did. I forget the guy's
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Speaker 1: name that he debated. But after that guy got off
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Speaker 1: the debate, Wes Huff was left with the host. And
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Speaker 1: that host was like challenging Wes Huff on really bizarre
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Speaker 1: things in the Bible. And this was one of them.
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Speaker 1: He kept saying like, well, you know, it says in
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Speaker 1: scripture that women aren't allowed to wear jewelry and stuff.
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Speaker 1: And he just like could not get off of that point,
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Speaker 1: even though Wes Huff was on multiple occasions saying, no,
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Speaker 1: that's not exactly what it says. And like trying to
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Speaker 1: explain it to the guy, the guy was saying like,
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Speaker 1: no man, but like it says that women can't wear
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Speaker 1: jewelry and stuff. And I'm just like, I have to
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Speaker 1: stop listening to this interview. This is ridiculous because that's
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Speaker 1: not what Peter is saying here. And I think anybody
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Speaker 1: that's like genuinely reading this for what it is, is
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Speaker 1: not seeing Peter say you can never wear jewelry or
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Speaker 1: that it's a sin to wear jewelry, because if it's
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Speaker 1: a sin to wear jewelry, then it's also a sin
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Speaker 1: to be beautiful because it says right here in verse three,
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Speaker 1: let your beauty come not from the outward adorning of
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Speaker 1: braiding of hair and of wearing gold ornaments or of
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Speaker 1: putting on fine clothing, but from the hidden person of
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Speaker 1: the heart. So in other words, it's not a sin
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Speaker 1: to be beautiful. It is not a sin to wear jewelry.
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Speaker 1: I'm wearing one right now. You can hear it dangling.
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Speaker 1: It's my charm bracelet that I wear on occasion. Women
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Speaker 1: can absolutely wear jewelry, but that is not where your
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Speaker 1: value should come from. Because sometimes, you know, us women,
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Speaker 1: we love pretty things and we love clothing and we
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Speaker 1: love purses and shoes and jewelry and getting our hair
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Speaker 1: and our nails done. We love doing these things as women.
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Speaker 1: This is something that a lot of women tend to
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Speaker 1: live for is how they look, how they appear to
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Speaker 1: other people. But Peter says, don't let your value come
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Speaker 1: from those things. Let it come from something even better
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Speaker 1: than those things by the inward person of a gentle
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Speaker 1: and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight.
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Speaker 1: So that is how we become beautiful to God specifically
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Speaker 1: by having a gentle and quiet spirit. Now, some people
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Speaker 1: might take what Peter is saying there and say, oh,
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Speaker 1: he's trying to tell women to be weak and to
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Speaker 1: shut up and, you know, just get in the kitchen
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Speaker 1: and make their man a sandwich. But no, that is
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Speaker 1: not what Peter is saying here. He's saying that a
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Speaker 1: gentle and quiet spirit is beautiful in the eyes of God.
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Speaker 1: Because Jesus had a gentle and quiet spirit. It says
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Speaker 1: in Isaiah 53 that he was led away to the
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Speaker 1: slaughter as a lamb is led to the slaughter and
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Speaker 1: does not open up his mouth. Jesus had the most gentle,
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Speaker 1: the most quiet spirit. And that is something that women
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Speaker 1: should emulate, especially Peter knowing that you know, because he
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Speaker 1: had his own wife, that women like to talk. My
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Speaker 1: husband will get irritated with me sometimes because when he's
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Speaker 1: in his office, I have a little chair in there
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Speaker 1: that I like to go in and sit with. And
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Speaker 1: he gets so frustrated with me because he's like, Jen,
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Speaker 1: I swear every 30 seconds when I'm like finally getting
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Speaker 1: into my work again, you start talking again. And then
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Speaker 1: I have to like break my concentration to answer you.
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Speaker 1: And then you're like, okay, sorry, I won't say anything again.
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Speaker 1: And so I get deep into work and 60 seconds later,
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Speaker 1: you're talking again. And I do. I'm not going to lie.
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Speaker 1: I definitely do that to him. And that is not
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Speaker 1: uncommon for women to do. We like to talk. I
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Speaker 1: have a whole podcast where I'm sitting here in my
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Speaker 1: office alone talking. Women enjoy talking probably more than men do.
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Speaker 1: That is how God made us to be. And I'm
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Speaker 1: not saying that Peter is telling us to shut up,
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Speaker 1: but rather, What are the words we are speaking? Are
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Speaker 1: we prone to bringing people down or to gossip or
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Speaker 1: to negativity or to fear? There's so many verses in
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Speaker 1: Proverbs that talks about a boisterous woman and how it's
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Speaker 1: actually better for a man to sit in silence in
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Speaker 1: the corner of an attic than in a beautiful house
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Speaker 1: with a boisterous woman. So basically somebody that's always snipping,
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Speaker 1: Somebody that's always complaining or that's always negative or that's
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Speaker 1: always gossiping or slandering, which are sins that women have.
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Speaker 1: So our speech needs to be something better than that
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Speaker 1: is what Peter is getting at. How can our speech
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Speaker 1: as women who love to talk be more towards the
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Speaker 1: gentle and quiet spirit that Jesus emulated the best of all?
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Speaker 1: How can we as women become more like Jesus? And
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Speaker 1: Peter gives an example right here. For this is how
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Speaker 1: in the past, the holy women who hoped in God
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Speaker 1: also adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands.
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Speaker 1: So Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose children you
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Speaker 1: now are if you do well and are not put
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Speaker 1: in fear by any terror. Sarah is the example that
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Speaker 1: Peter gives as a woman who had a gentle and
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Speaker 1: quiet spirit. And you know what's really funny about that?
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Speaker 1: Sarah gets a terrible rap. from pastors all over the world.
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Speaker 1: They look at her as somebody who is argumentative. They
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Speaker 1: look at her as somebody who laughed and didn't trust
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Speaker 1: in God. But yet Peter here is using her as
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Speaker 1: the prime example for women. And Sarah certainly talked. She
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Speaker 1: was not quiet in the Old Testament, but she had
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Speaker 1: the gentle and quiet spirit because Sarah remained steadfast in
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Speaker 1: her faith She trusted in God, even when her husband,
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Speaker 1: quite honestly, was really crappy to her. Like Abraham, even
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Speaker 1: though he was the first patriarch and he was considered
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Speaker 1: to be the friend of God, he did not know
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Speaker 1: how to treat his wife. He did not treat her well.
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Speaker 1: He slept with another woman while he was married to her.
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Speaker 1: He actually said that his wife was his sister because
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Speaker 1: she was very beautiful. And he was scared that somebody
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Speaker 1: might try to kill him to get to his wife.
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Speaker 1: So Abraham, In saying that his wife was his sister,
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Speaker 1: on two separate occasions, people just took her from his
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Speaker 1: house and he let her go because she was that beautiful.
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Speaker 1: She actually went to two separate king's homes and the
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Speaker 1: king thought that she was like the hottest thing ever.
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Speaker 1: And he put her in his harem, took her away
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Speaker 1: from her husband. And her husband's like, okay, bye, Sarah.
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Speaker 1: See you maybe sometime. That is how Abraham treated his wife.
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Speaker 1: And yet Sarah, throughout all of that, maintained her faith
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Speaker 1: in God and still showed respect to her husband throughout
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Speaker 1: all of that. She called Abraham her Lord, meaning somebody
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Speaker 1: who is better than her. So she maintained that humility
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Speaker 1: and she didn't have fear of what her husband was
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Speaker 1: doing because she trusted in God to get her through
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Speaker 1: those things. And God always got her through those things.
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Speaker 1: Even though she was put into a harem on two
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Speaker 1: separate occasions, God got her out of that without the
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Speaker 1: king touching her once. God protected Sarah. And Sarah, I believe,
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Speaker 1: knew that God was on her side. So Sarah is
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Speaker 1: the ultimate example for us women to follow, even if
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Speaker 1: we have husbands more like Abraham, who don't treat us
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Speaker 1: with the respect we feel that we deserve, who are
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Speaker 1: willing to sacrifice us to protect themselves as women. We
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Speaker 1: have God on our side and he doesn't look at
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Speaker 1: us any better than he looks at our husband. And
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Speaker 1: he doesn't look at our husband any better than he
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Speaker 1: looks at us. When we become Christians, we are part
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Speaker 1: of God's family. But all of this comes back down
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Speaker 1: to emulating God as best you possibly can in your
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Speaker 1: own marriage. How can you do that? How can you
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Speaker 1: spread the love of Jesus to your husband even more?
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Speaker 1: And as women, this is the answer that Peter gives us.
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Speaker 1: By showing respect, by trusting in God, and by having
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Speaker 1: our speech be more in line with the things that
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Speaker 1: Jesus would say. Now, of course, we're not done with
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Speaker 1: this topic. We still have to talk about the other half,
21:29
Speaker 1: the men, and what their role in submission to God
21:32
Speaker 1: looks like in the marriage relationship. So we're going to
21:35
Speaker 1: talk about that on Tuesday. But before I end the
21:39
Speaker 1: episode with my normal happy listening and God bless, please
21:42
Speaker 1: stay tuned for one last sponsored ad. I really appreciate
21:47
Speaker 1: you guys making it to the end of the episode
21:49
Speaker 1: with me. And I hope that you guys have been
21:51
Speaker 1: enjoying First Peter as much as I have been enjoying
21:54
Speaker 1: talking about it with all of you. If you do
21:57
Speaker 1: enjoy the podcast and you would like to become a
22:00
Speaker 1: member and gain access to the Bible Explained on Fridays,
22:03
Speaker 1: then check out the link in the description that says Kofi,
22:06
Speaker 1: and that will take you right over there. Because as
22:08
Speaker 1: you guys know, Fridays is for the members, and we
22:11
Speaker 1: are going through the Psalms right now. And we're going
22:13
Speaker 1: to talk about Psalm 99 and 100 tomorrow. So I'm
22:17
Speaker 1: excited to finally delve into the triple digits of the Psalms.
22:22
Speaker 1: We've been going through the Psalms for over a year
22:25
Speaker 1: at this point. I want to say it's nearing a
22:27
Speaker 1: year and a half now that we have been in
22:29
Speaker 1: the Psalms. So we only have about another year left.
22:33
Speaker 1: of the Psalms because I do one every single week
22:36
Speaker 1: and there are 50 more left to do. So yeah,
22:39
Speaker 1: at this time next year, we should be finished with
22:42
Speaker 1: the Psalms. All right, faithful listeners, hope you all have
22:45
Speaker 1: a fantastic and wonderful rest of your day. I'll see
22:48
Speaker 1: you guys hopefully on Monday for the regular scheduled episode
22:51
Speaker 1: as we delve into the book of Esther a little
22:53
Speaker 1: bit further. Faithful listeners, happy listening and God bless. I
23:03
Speaker 1: just want to take a second to thank the team
23:05
Speaker 1: at Life Audio for their partnership with me on the
23:07
Speaker 1: Bible Explained podcast. In fact, if you go to lifeaudio.com,
23:11
Speaker 1: you'll find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network.
23:14
Speaker 1: They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.