Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 28 | The 15-Minute Meeting (That Gets Your Family on the Same Page)
Transcript
- Christian Cornish: we're one family team. That's how we like to look at our family is we are a team. And what impacts one person on a team really does impact the whole team. And I just love that mindset. And I think that's why we do take the time to comb through the schedule with everybody, just because we we really value being all on the same page. We want the kids to be there for each other, to celebrate one another and nothing to be like really a shock. This is how teams work. Teams need to communicate. Teams really need to over-communicate at times. Mm-hmm. And creating this consistent space for us to do that has really helped us to work like a team throughout the week. Don't you just love it when we totally miss something on the calendar or forget like an appointment or something like that? It it definitely makes life more exciting. Yeah. Like last Monday. my gosh. Last Monday. Which I which obviously it doesn't happen very often. No. So what happened was it's so embarrassing, but I was supposed to have this meeting with part of Darla's medical, her care team. And I get a text letting me know that basically asking me, like, where are you? Are you coming into the Zoom meeting? And you know, the team's just waiting there in the Zoom call for me to show up. And I couldn't believe it. I just feel like because I keep such a strict schedule. I never miss things like this anymore, but I was staring at the clock like I'm already fifteen minutes late to this meeting. Her cure teams waiting in the call for me. Yeah, you were like right in the middle of making dinner. Yeah. And so you had to take over really quick. And basically I pieced out for three hours sitting in this team call. And you probably were super frantic because you had to go get the littles from daycare. You had to go get the groceries, you had to make dinner. It kind of just threw our whole family off. Yeah. Thankfully, these are not circumstances that happen like they used to. Mm-hmm. But I definitely, you know, sympathize because I know this happens to a lot of people And I feel like a lot of people give us grace, which is wonderful. You know, they're like, you have so many kids, like it's no big deal. Like when I hopped on the call, I'm like, I'm so sorry. They're like, I can only imagine you have seven kids. But this is the thing, it seriously was shocking me to me to get that text. And the fact that I forgot about the meeting, I actually forgot to put the meeting in the calendar. And that is such a rare event these days. But yeah, I remember the days when that wasn't such a rare occur occurrence. And you know, our kids would have even known if it was in the calendar. Uh-huh. Because we have a rhythm of a family team meeting every week. Yep. And it would have been something we would have covered in our team meeting. Mm-hmm. And would have put us all on the same page. So again, this isn't a regular occurrence. This is something that happens super rarely. but life used to be like that all the time. Mm-hmm. Where there would be multiple things throughout the week, whether we miss them or miscommunicate about Yes. Or like you're doing something and I'm like, wait, I didn't know that was happening. Or same thing for me. You'd you'd be like, Okay, is it on the calendar? I guess, you know, I didn't know you were going to go do that party or whatever. Yeah, and missed expectations are the root of a lot of conflict. And they can even be a the root of conflict with our own children. Because our own children are expecting life to happen just like we do. And I think sometimes we think, well, we they just go where we tell to go or do what they do. But I find that when our kids know what's going on throughout the week, they move through the week and anticipate and expect things differently. And it makes the flow actually a lot better for everyone in our family. Because they don't feel like they're getting like jerked around. You know what's really popular right now are these calendars. They're like digital calendars that some families are getting and hanging on the wall. I forget the name of them. I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, they're they're pretty cool. They're this digital calendar where you can keep their chore charts in there and like the family calendar and it's like literally hanging on the wall. Uh-huh. And I think a lot of families invest in something like this, hoping that that's gonna cure the miscommunication in their families. But I what I'm hearing is that these calendars, although they're great, families are still not finding that it's helping them to stay on the same page. so when you think about like this family meeting concept versus just having a family calendar, what do you feel like is the difference there? Well, it's the rhythm that we're gonna talk about. it's kind of like you can go out and invest in a budgeting tool. You can go out and buy a reading tracker app, you can go buy an exercise tracking app. none of that matters though, if you don't have the rhythm in place to actually use those tools. They're the greatest tool ever. What is actually now that I think about it, Dave Ramsey says that money management is actually eighty percent habits and it's only twenty percent of head knowledge. We can so see that. Because if you don't have the habit in place, yeah, it really doesn't make a difference. Like you can have all the tools in the world and they are they're worthless because they can't do the work for you. You still have to sit down and do the work. Well and and that's what I like about rhythms. rhythms are the tool. They're a free tool. Like you don't have to go out and invest four hundred dollars or however much these calendars cost these long calendars front door. Are you serious? I think they're like three or four. Is this like a TikTok mom hot marketing stamp? Like that's what I hear right now. I think that's what the the marketing is though is like they basically make you feel like if you get this calendar that has it all in one, you know, track your kids' tours, track all the things, like your life is going to be so much more peaceful, more organized. But I think people don't realize that like You can get these tools, but like they ain't gonna help if you don't have a rhythm or routine in place. Yeah, well you won't look at it. I think that's like the example would be with a calendar. If you don't you can have a sweet calendar, you have to update the calendar. Uh-huh. And then you have to look at the calendar. Yeah. and I know that sounds so basic, but it's really easy to not do. It's kinda like buying a planner and you can fill it all in. Yeah. Like I'll admit. I've been prone to this of like I'll fill in my planner at the start of the week and then I just go throughout the week. I don't even reopen it once in a while. Yeah. And at the end of the week, I'm like, crap, I forgot all of these things I wanted to do. You didn't have that daily rhythm in place to check the planner. Exactly. And to move things around, say, you know, is this like the best? I just kind of like, it's in my head, I'm good to go. But when it's in my head, it's not shared with you. It's not shared with anybody else. And no one has a clue except me. And then things get missed. So maybe this isn't a good time to ask you for one of those calendars. No, this is not a good time to ask me for one of those really expensive Actually was a really calendar. I really excited about potentially getting one. I don't even want you to show it to me right now. He's like, let's stick with the free thing, the rhythms. It's working great. So yeah, we're gonna teach you in just the next few minutes what our family meeting rhythm looks like and how it can benefit your family and just some of the components of what makes this rhythm like really special. so maybe let's just start off what do we mean by a family meeting? And It's basically just a consistent weekly time where we gather to get on the same page spiritually, practically, relationally. I mean, even just like in our day-to-day schedule communication. And we we break this rhythm down into three parts. And I promise you, it maybe sounds a little bit more complicated than it really is. This happens on a Sunday night. We're wrapping up dinner, we're having dessert. We spend maybe 15 to 20 minutes doing this rhythm. So this is not an overly complicated practice, but we do like to hit on these three areas. So one being we like to work together and meaning we like to think about what does our work like look like together as a family, our schedule, our tasks that our big projects that need to get done for the week. And then we like to talk about how we're going to play together. Which I find this to be really helpful because we, of course, will talk about like Sabbath, and even review like how Sabbath was over the weekend and then what we're looking forward to in the week. Like maybe we're planning a family fishing night or planning something fun together as a family. And then the third piece of the family meeting is how are we growing together? And we'll we'll dive into this a little bit more in a bit, but basically this is our time in the meeting where we pick a family value for the week and we celebrate how we saw the value show up in the last week and really just talk about character development and we take a few moments for that. So that's how we break down our family meeting time is like our schedule, working together, playing together, and then growing together. Yeah. So let's just break through each one of these and and split them out a little bit. So work together, we open the calendar. So for us, that is a shared Google calendar. For you, it could be a paper calendar. It doesn't really matter, but we open it. We walk through each day and we highlight whoever has items on the calendar. at this point we don't do the routine stuff like, hey, kids are going to school this day, this day, unless it's out of the ordinary or if it's something on the calendar. so like last week a great example. You are going to a town an hour away because we live in the middle of nowhere. to get the hair done. To get your hair done. To go to the doctor's office. Going to the big city, girl. So like we'll talk about that. We'll say, hey, on this day, Azalea, you have dance. I'll be taking over dance that day in terms of driving because mommy's gonna be gone. She's gonna have appointments. We'll have to prep dinner that night, everybody, and have it ready for, when she gets home. But we're getting ready for a family trip. So we have certain projects to make that happen. And we said, Hey, on Wednesday night, we are gonna be loading up the car like we're leaving, even though we're not yet, but we just wanna have it all done. Hey, Friday, we are taking off and we are leaving at I think we're crazy. We said five in the morning. And so be ready. You're gonna sleep in the car, but just want you to be aware you're gonna get up that early and we're gonna get to our first stop by this time. And we just walk through that schedule with them. But then it's not a shock. Nobody is going to bed Thursday night and hearing for the first time, Hey, by the way, we're gonna five in the morning tomorrow. we talked about it already ahead of time. And they've had time to mentally and emotionally prepare themselves for that time and they're also anticipating it. They're excited about it. And you know, we have a lot of kids. So you might be wondering, you know, do you do you walk through every single child's schedule with the whole family? And, this is not probably the time where we're we're gonna dive deeper into this, but we are very simple family when it comes to extracurriculars. And we're very mindful of how loaded our plate is. So maybe this is different for other bigger families, but for us, we don't usually have a ton going on for every kid in the family. Usually like one kid has a lot going on, and then we transition to another kid in another season. Well, and I think it's important to call out, realize that anything anyone in the family does actually does affect the whole family. Yeah. So like For instance, if an older kid, Azalea, has a play that she's in, which she does do throughout the year, then she has play practice. Well that impacts everybody because some of them are too young, like they can't stay home alone. So there are times where they need to know, you're gonna get in the car and you're gonna drive to go get her. And that's just how it is. Or like it might impact our rhythms for example, dinner rhythm. When Azalea had play practice every night, it pushed back or forward dinner. Yes, that's a great call out. Yes. So yes, she had that activity, but there's a ripple effect. And I think that's gotta always be true. Whether you have two kids, three kids, seven kids, there's a ripple effect. There's some kind of impact to everybody. And we also love to support each other. Mm-hmm. So we want to, you know, say, Hey, there's a baseball game this week. We're all going to the baseball game, by the way. It's not just for those two people that are are going to be playing in the game. So it's things like that that we're talking through and laying out what is this going to look like for you. I think it's a really good point that you bring up that we're one family team. That's how we like to look at our family is we are a team. And what impacts one person on a team really does impact the whole team. And I just love that mindset. And I think that's why we do take the time to comb through the schedule with everybody, just because we we really value being all on the same page. We want the kids to be there for each other, to celebrate one another and nothing to be like really a shock. it's also really helpful too, like when we get to the second part, which is playing together. If we go through our schedule and we realize, like, wow, this is a loaded week. We have a lot going on, which there are definitely those weeks where they're more abundant than others. That's where we might start to talk about as a family, like, okay, how can we create more moments of play or to slow down? Or we might even extend our Sabbath intentionally because we might get to the end of the week and know that we're just gonna be Physically, mentally, everything exhausted. So we might even say, okay, as a family this week, we are doing a double day Sabbath. And I think that's just important to not only just plan your work and your, you know, normal responsibilities and to have rhythms for all those things, but to also as a family talk about how are we playing together? How are we resting together? What does that look like? You bring up a great point here. And This is how teams work. Teams need to communicate. Teams really need to over-communicate at times. Mm-hmm. And creating this consistent space for us to do that has really helped us to work like a team throughout the week. I'm really proud of our kids because Like of course they don't always love what what's Happening. They don't always love what we're doing, but we don't have like the temper tantrum the whole way there. But I think it's because they are included, like they feel a part of the team. They understand after all these years that what they're doing, even if they're just tagging along. is helpful, is important and they are wanted there. Yeah. And I think that helps them emotionally to move through the week. Yeah. And it creates a a much stronger team atmosphere. you know I was reflecting on this. I don't think there's ever a time where like everybody complains that we're going through the calendar. everybody seems to appreciate that we do it. And I don't know if it's because we've just done it for so long. I don't do you have thoughts on that? Yeah, actually not now that you say that, I don't know if I actually thought about it, but you're right. the kids are actually one of the rare times in dinner, they're actually quietly listening. And I I think they actually are interested in what is happening for the week. I think kids really appreciate knowing what to expect. I think every kid, no matter their personality, appreciates just having some sort of awareness. And I think it's a gift to give your kids the overview. I mean, like, you're not gonna pour through your work schedule with them and tell them all your work meetings. Like that's not how detailed we're we're talking about. But I do think that you should Talk about anything that would affect the family or individuals with things outside of your job. Yeah. And then we play together. We've talked about this, but we share where we're gonna have fun. We celebrate where we had wins the week before. Yeah, like a common question we asked during this part is what was your favorite part about Sabbath yesterday? Because we do Sabbath Friday night through Saturday night. And we do family meeting on Sunday night. And so we usually take some time to reflect on how was Sabbath and what was most enjoyable for you. what was your high from this last week. So not only are we taking time to celebrate like the fun we had or the high moments from this last week, but we also then talk about what that's gonna look like for upcoming week. And I think it helps because it gives them place to share in the middle of the discussion. And so now they're in a good mood. Because then we can move into growing together. And I think it helps to kind of bring them back then and and help them feel like, okay, I'm ready to focus again. And this is where we pick a character trait, a Bible verse, maybe a family value, something that we Usually I mean, let's admit, it usually comes from some frustration we had the week before. Totally. It's our guide. but it's like, okay, we had a lot of complaints. Complaining last week. let's talk about how one character trait we're gonna work on this week is not complaining, but being grateful. Yeah. And, you know, we have a little conversation. We I mean, we're pretty blunt. We'll give them a direct examples and remind them of Hey, here's what happened last week. There was this instance or this instance. And we don't throw anyone specific under the rug, but it's the like under the bus. Thank you. But we're trying to show hey, this is what happened, but this is not who we want to be as a family. And then we talk about what does it look like to not, in this case, to not be a complainer. Mm-hmm. What does it look like to be an encourager? And then we might even ask for examples of how can you be encouraging this week? And then allow some a little bit of participation there. But it also gives them ownership because now we can say, Great, do you think that's something you can do this week? And then we do want to, say, wonderful, let's do that because we're gonna reward. next week with affirmation, the person who shows the most growth in this area. That's actually one of my favorite parts about all of this is we take a few moments to just like verbally affirm. we pick one kid of the week who gets like the character award, who like basically lived out last week's character trait. And they don't get anything, they don't get any prize. Like there's no extra like, you know, incentive here except truly just being it affirmed in front of their siblings. But if like the character trait was being an encourager, then we'll pick the child who encouraged the most the last week and they get the encourager award. And then everyone claps for them and maybe share some examples on how that person encouraged. And before we announce the winner, we will often ask the other kids to share examples about each other. on where they saw each other be encouraging. And and I like it because it really does give us like a focus for the week when we pick a character trait. I remember one week we were really focusing on manners, and we had a competition on who could say the most yes ma'ams and yes sirs the whole week. And I cannot tell you like how respected and honored I felt as a parent that week because all the kids in the house were using so many yes ma'ams, yes sirs. And to this day, I think that week truly was a launch pad for our kids' manners. Do you feel like that? I do. I there's definitely been a massive improvement since then. Uh-huh. In how we don't have to remind them as often to use their manners. Or even if we have to remind them, it feels like I don't have to keep doing it throughout the day. Like it's more like hey, I might say it once in the morning. Yeah. And then I notice that they've caught themselves the rest of the day and are really implementing that. And we do remind them, like these are things when you go out of our home someday or when you go to school, these are things that we want you to display. And so that's why we have to practice them here. I really love too how we can Then reference back to the family meeting when things happened throughout the week. So this week we actually talked about loyalty. And there was a a couple instances last week where people were, let's just say, less than loyal to each other. and so we talked about the story of Boaz and how Ruth was loyal to Naomi and how Boaz was loyal to Ruth. So we encouraged them. This week, we they read their Bible every day before they get TV time. So I said, Hey, in your Bible time, you should read the story of Ruth. Well, I've had a few kids come to me and say, Hey, I read Ruth today, as like their way of telling me they did their Bible reading. But then I was able to reference it yesterday because there was another one of these instances where somebody was not loyal to another kid and they hurt their feelings because of it. And so when we said, like, hey, we're working on loyalty this week, do you feel like what you did displayed loyalty? And they were like, no, like they got it immediately. And we had a good conversation about how are we gonna demonstrate and fix this the rest of the week? and since then I haven't had any instances. That doesn't mean there won't be again, but it was so much easier to go back to that character trait that we had had a family meeting on that they were like, Yeah, I see where you're coming from. Yeah. that's beautiful. And I think that's helpful because again, we don't expect perfection out of them. Like, we talked about loyalty and you should have been perfect all week. No. But it helps to be able to say, Hey, we are working on this and you know that. And right now is a moment that doesn't reflect that. and I think we have to remember that character is always forming. It's like spiritual formation. We're always being formed, we're always being shaped, and that this is just not a one time thing. And you know, I I also think about culture. culture is being formed whether or not you are intentionally forming it. And like you have a culture, we have a culture, every family has some sort of culture. But personally, I want to be at the driver's seat of that of that culture. I want to develop a culture in our home that we are proud of, that is one that really represents who we are and what we want to be as a as the Cornish family. And also as a culture that can be passed down from generation to generation and One that truly impacts each other positively and impacts other people outside of our family. And by taking this time in the family meeting to just talk about one character trait a week, one family value a week, it's amazing how that over time it compounds. Like you actually do go deeper as a family. When you intentionally take time to talk about these character traits, these values. Wow, that was so beautifully said. Can I ask you something? When was the last time you actually felt at peace? Not just productive, not just caught up, but settled. Because most of us aren't lacking desire for a slower, deeper life. We're just stuck in the busyness that keeps us rushing right past it. That's why we created the Slow and Saber Society. It's a snail mail club. Yes, it comes straight to your mailbox. It's a simple, tangible way to slow down each month. A piece of art, a cozy recipe, and a letter designed to help you reconnect with what actually matters. With God, with your family, and with your own soul. If your life has felt full but not meaningful, this is your invitation to begin again. You can learn more or join us at legacyrootsco.com/slash mailclub. And right now, if you use code podcast, you'll get 50% off your first month so you can try it out. Now back to the episode. I love how you use the phrase you want to be in the driver's seat of that. I really love the book Take Back Your Family by Jefferson Beckke because he talks about how we have to be intentional with our families and where they're going. And he uses this amazing example in his book. And I wanted to referring to the coach versus babysitter. Yeah, he has this whole section about how. We want to be the coach of our team. We want to drive toward the championship. I just love how he lays out in this book. He has this table and he talks about the idea of coach versus babysitter, and he says, generally speaking, a babysitter's job is to make sure a child is fed, has his basic needs met, and is ultimately safe. Safety is paramount for the babysitter. But coaches do more. They teach, coach, mentor, create. Have a vision, they plan, and they strategize. And then he has this table where he gives some really tangible examples of what this looks like. And I think it really drives home why is the idea of a family meeting so important? So, he talks about the primary concern of a coach is to create fully developed and flourishing players. And what we're getting at is that the family meeting. Is a way for us to be proactive, to drill, to implement strategies, and to really help our kids learn resilience and to be successful. That's so good. And a babysitter is just there to meet their needs. It's just there to get by. Yeah. Get dinner on the table. Just get dinner on the table, get them to bed, move on with the day. Uh-huh. And We and I think the people who take the time to listen to a show like us, like you, the listener right now, we believe in you because you're here because you want to be the coach. And so this rhythm has really created a space every week where we get to be the coach. Yeah, that's right. And and not just be the coach in that moment. Like we get to coach all week long. there's so many different parenting styles out there and we've always been big fans of the coaching parenting style in general. We are not only, you know, trained coaches in our professional lives, but we love this idea of equipping and walking through the hard with our children and I do think that the coach has like this beautiful balance of delivering consequences, but also gently and patiently walking through life with your kids. And I think equipping is the best word. Like you're equipping them to not only make it through the current situation they're in. But you're equipping them to problem solve without you. Yes, that is so beautifully said. Because this is so much more than just running through our family calendar real quick and calling it a day. We're tying this all in with our character and who we want to be and the culture of our family and That's what makes this rhythm so special. The calendar is a tool to open the door to these conversations. But this is definitely so much more than just a family calendar. Well, if if you think about it, we're obviously implementing the rhythm for our family, but we're showing them what does it look like to build this rhythm for their family, to be on the same page with their spouse someday, to be on the same page with their kids, to also just have a rhythm of knowing what's going on in your life. So that you aren't caught off guard, So How do we ground our kids on a weekly basis? And it's by developing them on the daily and giving them rhythms that will sustain their life. Wow, you said that's so good. I think you're right on. Yeah. And we just recorded an episode on your family roots, which is our terminology for family values. And this would be a great time to bring up your family roots. You know, perhaps you choose one root a week to just focus on, to learn more about it, to grow in it. now you've established what your roots are, you're discovering what your roots are, but instead of just picking these like cool words to be values, you actually are going to then every week implement them. So for someone who wants to implement this week, how can they actually make this work? Let's give some tips that you feel like have helped make this successful. Yeah. I think the first one that I would say is definitely go back and check out our episodes, episode four and five, where we talk about building a dream team marriage because the partnership between mom and dad really does. I think it's like a secret sauce to making this extra successful. So secret burger sauce. I definitely think in your own time, like this is something you could do separately is go back and check those out and always make the special burger sauce. When you're making burgers, don't skip it. But here's how you can make your family meeting successful. And these are just a few tips that we thought of that might help you as you're getting started, or if you have a family meeting, maybe some tips that will help you be more consistent with it. And so another tip is to just keep it simple. So I see this a lot with our students who are starting with rhythms. They overcomplicate their rhythms very quickly because they want to add in all the things. And then they realize that wait, this is now gonna take me an hour and a half. My kids are not gonna sit still for an hour and a half meeting. And then they just quit on it because it's no longer fun and it's not happening the way that they envisioned it to happen. So I think starting with even just one element. Sticking with that for several weeks and then adding in extra elements. Like for example, maybe your one element is just going over the schedule. Like maybe that one thing could help you just get this thing off the ground, get the family meeting going. And then maybe in a month or two you readjust the rhythm to include more things that you want to do. I love that suggestion because as long as you're up on your calendar. Just open your phone. Like you don't have to prep. Nope. You don't need to like have notes ahead of time. You don't need a four hundred dollar calendar on your wall. You don't need a four hundred thank you, honey. That's great. I know it's glad I I heard it out of your mouth. So perfect. Okay, great. Yep. Just keep it simple, sweetie. All the dudes in the audience are like, yeah, you just need a Google Calendar. But have a family calendar that you can refer to and talk about the events. Now, perhaps you're listening and you're like, we don't even have a family calendar, so Maybe it's simply this week getting a family calendar. Like I think you and I both would say that is so critical for a rooted family. You can't live without some sort of organization of your time and schedule. Otherwise you're just gonna be all over the place. Yeah. Well, it would be impossible to be intentional. And I think rooted families are intentional. Mm-hmm. So I absolutely agree with you on all that. Another tip is to schedule it. gosh. I tried so hard. I tried so hard. You were like waiting, waiting. How can I say this at the exact same time? I just wanted you to cringe. that was kind of cringy. But, anyways, we do really feel this strongly about scheduling your family meeting. Ours is always Sunday dinner. Yep. for us it's easy. We don't usually have a Sunday night event. it's the start of the week. We have dinner together anyway. maybe for you that's that's Mondays, maybe it's Saturdays. But I would think, I would hope you have one consistent night a week. You don't have something planned. And you can take fifteen minutes to do this. And also we talk a lot about leverage. And if you need small children to sit still during something like this, dessert is definitely helpful. it will help with the consistency, especially if you consistently have dessert. I mean, I'm showing up to family meeting if there's dessert. So it's even good for the parents. now that you say that, you are definitely less engaged when it's not during dessert time. Now it just makes so much more sense. It's true. Sweets always make everything better. Huh. Another tip is to expect the awkward, just like any rhythm. I mean, anytime you start a new rhythm, especially when it involves communication. just expect that there's gonna be some awkwardness to getting it off the ground because this is new for the kids. This is new for you. The kids might even, if you have teenagers, they might be like, What is this family meeting? Like, well, do we have to show up? You know, I don't know. But it just might be one of those things that the family has to get used to. I think you're spot on with that. I think anytime we do something new, there's a learning curve. But remember that you are creating a space. Where everyone is included, everyone is seen. And there's nothing more that that a kid wants than to feel a part of the family. Right? this can be a moment where everybody is seen. Totally. And that is so valuable. Yeah, I feel like the kids will begin to love it if you stay consistent with it. And just remember you're the parent and you get to decide these things. And they may push back. You know, especially if you have some older kids that are not used to something like this. But I think over time you'll build trust when you just don't let down and you say, This is just what we're doing. And we're a team, we're a family, and we're going to have a family touch point every single week. Yeah. And our last tip is progress over perfection. if you accidentally miss a week or maybe you're on vacation, that's fine. Start again and own it. Say if you missed it, like truly miss it, say, Hey, I'm sorry I missed it last week. Actually, once you get into the rhythm, you will probably get reminded that you missed this, right? And that's a good thing. Mm-hmm. Totally. And you know, we have a special needs child and she is part of hearing, she feeds out of a G tube, and there's just there's different elements there. that require us to give her some attention. And so like for example, during the family meeting, she might be s you know squawking, or she might be like mad because her feed is done and she wants to get out of the chair or whatever the case is. And so I think it's just a reminder that like don't take yourself too seriously during these meetings. It's not like a business meeting where where everyone is there taking notes and and everything. this is you and your kids. This is supposed to be fun. you know, try to keep it lighthearted so that they look forward to it. And if the kids are kind of rowdy or a little bit mischievous during the meeting, again, don't expect perfection out of your children. I think that the moment that you raise your voice at your children or you start to make this too harsh, or you don't give yourself grace, you know, for example, if our baby's screaming at us because she just wants to get out of the high chair, you know, we could let that totally throw off the meeting or we can just you know, handle her and re regroup and just move the meeting forward or just kind of close it up. But I just I say all that because all of us have a lot different family circumstances. You know, you might have a special needs kid at the table who has their own challenges. You may have more kids than us and have a rowdier time or You just may have kids who just truly are not wanting to be a part of it right away. You know, I don't know what your circumstances are, but I do believe that this is possible for everybody. You just have to think about what does this look like for your family? And to really just think about how can this move the needle forward for us and for what our family is about. Yeah. So all this is to say that one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is in a perfectly organized calendar. It's the confidence that they're part of a family that talks, plans, prays, celebrates, and grows together. Family meetings aren't about running your home like a business. They're about shepherding your family and doing that intentionally. Yeah. And week after week, you're reminding your kids that we're on the same team. We're following Jesus together and no one has to figure life out alone. So if you've never tried a family meeting, don't wait until your family feels less busy. That's exactly why you need one. So here's the challenge for this week. This Sunday night, grab some dessert. Gather the family around the table and have your first family meeting. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to begin. Thank you so much for being here on the Rudd Family podcast. And we can't wait to have you again next week.