Latest / Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & Mélissa Malebranche / From Reality TV to the Republican Party (w. Suzanne Lambert)

Transcript

From Reality TV to the Republican Party (w. Suzanne Lambert) · Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & Mélissa Malebranche

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Brief Recess. I'll just say it. Or no,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: you say it. Welcome to Brief.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: What's wrong with you?
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: We're both going to say it at once? No. What
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: do you want, CJ? He said we both say it.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Did he not just say it?
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: No, he didn't. You misunderstood.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: You guys were both guessing when to start instead of
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: just being like on the count of three.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: CJ confused me. Welcome to Brief Recess. He's Michael Foote.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I'm Melissa Malbranch.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Today we're going to talk about the debate of trips
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: versus vacations, real actors versus fictional roles. We're going to
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: talk about how Republicans love eating horses. We're going to
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: talk about being hypocrites on trashy reality TV shows. We're
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: going to talk about my drunk dishwashing cameos after getting
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: kicked out of my Airbnb. And we have our new friend,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: the fearless and hilarious Suzanne Lampert in the studio for
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: an interview and to answer all your wicked and wild
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: tales from the DMs. So stick around, sit your ass
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: back down. Repatriating. Yeah. Harry and Meghan. Yes.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: And Anja and I were going on a tour, and
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: the tour guide from the other tour behind us was
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: talking to somebody.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: This was when you were in Scotland?
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: This was when we were in London.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: And they were like, She's going, you know, Megan, they're
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: coming back and Megan's really going to make sure she's
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: going to have to make sure that she has a
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: lot of security. But the way that she said it
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: made it seem like she was like, people have rocks.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Like people were, oh, she was like rooting for Megan.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: The other do you know what i mean there was
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: there was no no there was some there was like
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: this a gleeful tone in her voice that i thought
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: was really.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Fucked her husband's like a security contractor he's about to
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: win a government contract.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: No i don't it was like you know she's going
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: to have to be dodging bullets like this weird fucking chortle.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: What do you know what i mean and why are
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: they going back i missed i don't know and.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I don't care very much to be honest like it's
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: not but it's Somebody, my cousin who's really into this,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: she was just like, you know, the king isn't doing
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: well and he wants his family around him. And I
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: was like, are you sure? Or did.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: They run out of money?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Well, so she doesn't think they did because they have
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: not sold their house. So when you need money, you
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: have a fire sale because you know how much I
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: love an estate sale.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I was one.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: And we would totally go. We would fly out for
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: that one. But I do feel like they needed some
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: money because she did that like at home with Meghan
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Markle thing where she was putting like goldfish.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: In little bags.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: And tying them up and saying that that was home cooking.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: It's like everyone was like, what are you doing?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: And she also apparently is going to be in a
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Guy Ritchie movie. I think that's what I heard.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: This is what I hear. I don't know. And I
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: have to tell you, this is what I heard. I
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: was listening to somebody else talk about it. I do
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: not know this for myself. I don't care that much.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Let's get into a sidebar on actors who have to
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: go back to work because they ran out of residuals.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I've got no one else. I guess the Michael Jackson reenactor.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: The one from E?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think they're going to roll him back
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: out from E?
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Well, no, because we haven't seen him since, right? Did
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: you look to see what people were saying who should
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: play us? No, what did they say? So somebody said
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: about you.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'm actually so scared.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: No, actually, it was not.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: It wasn't bad.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: They said, for you, Stanley Tucci, which I can totally see,
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: except that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: He loves stealing roles from gay men. Right.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: But he's also short. He's a short king.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: He is a short king.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that. He's like 5'8, and you're a giant.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: But still, I think it'll be fine.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: We could put him on a stack of phone books.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: We could.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: We could.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: For me, people say all these random people. I stand
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: by Whitney Houston. No. No.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: No.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: No.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: You're not every woman.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I'm not. And it's not all on me. I think
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: that she, like I said the other day, like there
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: was like an ethereal.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: There was.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Which I, that's not.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: No one's ever going to have that. Right. I guess
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: we're not casting the Whitney biopic. We're casting the Melissa. Correct.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: That's so, that's like, that wouldn't work. But people said,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: somebody said, Alfie Woodard.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Love her.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Love her.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: But I don't know if that's you.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if it's me either, but sometimes-
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: And I.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Guess I don't know if I'm Stanley Tucci. I feel like-
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I'm also 38. To say that Stanley Tucci's going to
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: fucking play me- No, no, no, no. He's on Medicare. No.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: And Stanley Tucci's going to play me in a movie? Okay.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. He's cracking out his goddamn frying pans on williamsonoma.com.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Can we just, for a moment, we did say- Any age?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Any age, living or dead.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: That's on me and my memory. I can't be held
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: responsible for what I can and cannot remember.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I think you should be held very
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: responsible for everything that you say and do. So people
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: said Alfre Woodard, which is cool. Somebody said this other
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: woman who I didn't know her name, but when her
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: face came up, I was like, oh, okay.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I like her.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Jennifer Lewis? Jennifer Lewis?
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I saw the Jennifer Lewis one.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Jennifer Hudson.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: No, Jennifer Lewis. Do you know who Jennifer Lewis is?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, of course. Yeah.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I don't think anybody said Jennifer Hudson. I have to
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: find the name of the other person because- Tracee Ellis Ross. Yeah,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I saw that and I think that's crazy, actually.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a stretch. That's a casting stretch.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I think that people are just throwing black actresses in
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: a bowl.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, at a certain point, we're
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: just naming black people.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: We're just naming black women, which is fine.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Michelle Obama.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Sure, why not? And I mean, Tracee Ellis Ross, while
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: it is age appropriate.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: We do not resemble... At this point, guys, you guys
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: are not even trying anymore, right? And I get it.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: It's fine. You're racking your brain trying to come up
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: with any Black actress and you're choosing Tracee Ellis Ross,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: which is a huge honor because she's gorgeous and talented
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: and all the things. But we do not favor each other.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I'm about to get into the second season of Desperate Housewives,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: which is the Alfre Woodard season, which is the most...
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: If anyone knows what I'm talking about, Desperate Housewives... Alfred
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Woodard's on that show for season two. The one with Yeah,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: with Terry Hatcher and Marcia Cross.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Did you not watch that the first time around?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I did, but I'm re-watching. It's been a minute. It's
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: been like 15 years.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: And you feel like you need to revisit it?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I like to have a little something going
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: when I'm folding laundry.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: And that's the choice? It's not even a judgment. It's
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: more like a curiosity.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: It is, because every episode I'm like, that was actually
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: really fierce. Some of it is actually kind of fierce. Okay,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: so season two is actually Have you, do you know
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: anything about season two?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I don't remember anything.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Okay. No spoiler. I guess spoilers. It's been, you had
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: a minute. I'm going to spoil it. Alfre Woodard has
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: her son who killed someone. He's mentally ill, chained to
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: a bed in her basement for the entire season.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: The whole season?
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: The whole show. Okay. The whole story arc is 22 episode,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: all season two. And her son is chained in the
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: basement the whole time. It turns out it's the other
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: son who killed the girl.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Not the one who's chained.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Not the mentally ill one. So, Alfre Woodard murders the
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: other son and runs away with the mentally ill one
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: under the cover of dark.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: So, a very realistic sort of representation of life in America.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, listen, I think in this point in time,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: nothing matters. Anything can happen. Yeah. Yeah.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And so, I am really excited because there are some
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: crazy plot lines like that.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: You don't get writing like that. AI could never write
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: that shit.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: AI could never.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: AI could never.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: AI could never.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Write Alfre Woodard chaining her son to a bed in
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: the basement.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: What do you got? Don't come here with your diseases.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not diseased. Okay. Speaking of things that sound
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: like a disease. Okay. Haggis.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had haggis. So I, Andre and I were, okay.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: So first I asked this question on my socials and
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I'm going to ask it now. Do you, Michael Charles Foote,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: think that there is a difference between going on vacation
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: and going on a trip?
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: And what is that difference for you?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: If I'm visiting family.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what is that?
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: A trip. It's a trip.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: It's a trip. Yeah, no, it is. Yes. Yeah. Yes.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: You will not. Yeah.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: You won't be vacationing. No. There's family involved.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think it depends on which family.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Right? No.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: No. For me, it depends on which family. I think
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: traveling with my parents was always very stressful for me.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Always really stressful. They don't listen.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: You become like a teenager again.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: It's a weird mix between being a teenager and a parent, right?
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: And not the good parts of either one of those things, right?
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: So you instantly, like a teenager, you become a little
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: bit like petulant and you want to like yell all
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: the time, right? And then on the other hand, you
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: want to like grab them And like steer them.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: By the scruff.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Yoke them up.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: You know how I feel about a yoke up.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Yoke them up.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: I love a good yoke up. Yeah, that, I find
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: that really stressful.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: But it was just you and Andre on vacation.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Well, so.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Or was it not vacation?
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like it was a vacation.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: It was Scotland and Ireland? And London. Okay.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: It was a trip. And for me, the difference is this.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Vacations are relaxing.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: There's no agenda. You get up, maybe go look at something.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: You chill out. You know, there's food.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: You look at a mountain.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: You look at a beach.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: It's just like, it's very chill. A trip is when
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: there is an agenda. You are someplace where you've never
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: been before and you are hitting things.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hit anything.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Well, I do.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Brad and I will go to like a place where
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: you should hit things.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: And you don't hit anything?
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: When we go to Europe, we do nothing. We literally
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: like go to dinner and go shopping and like hang
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: out by the pool. Like we will go to a
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: major city in Europe and not do the gallery thing because.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: No, because it's something you're supposed to do, not something
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I want to do.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Well, OK, so there are places that. are say, let's
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: say on a list that I would like to do, right?
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: So we were in Edinburgh, which is the most magical
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: place that I have ever been. And we hit things
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: that I wanted.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Tell me what you saw because I was in Edinburgh.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: For an airport transfer to traders. Okay. Well, you were-
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't get to see nothing.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: You didn't see anything. I mean, I saw a bunch
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: of stuff, you know, museums and castles and things.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: But see, you didn't. It's not even that memorable.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I'm freezing at the moment.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: See? So I would have rather just go get a
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: massage than go see that.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I can get a massage here.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: What is it?
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Stonehenge?
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: No, that's not in Scotland, though. We went to Stonehenge.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: That's in England.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: A couple of rocks.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: You know what? You know what I did not find impressive?
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: We're going to get.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: They couldn't even do a second story on that piece.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: No.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: They did one.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get slaughtered on this one. But we
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: went to Bath.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Was it a bath?
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: It was a fucking tub.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: And it was smelly.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: It was smelly.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: No. Some things we don't need to revere. I mean, sure.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it was the most wonderful bath in what?
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: The 1400s?
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: I guess. But it was very smelly.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Nobody. Yeah. Nobody took a bath back then. They called
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: it Bath because it was the only bath in England.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what they used to do, which I
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: think is really... But like the wealthy people, they would
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: get like... They would bathe first. Well, yes. And they
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: would get all rubbed down with oils and stuff. And
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: the poor people could not afford the oil. So they
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: would scrape the oils off the rich people and.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: It's reusable.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I saw this at Steamworks once in Chelsea, actually. Did
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: you do it? Yeah, they do that during Pride Month.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: It's a special and you have to pay extra for it.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you do.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Let's get into an algorithm.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I can't stand this man. You're right, guys. I hate him.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: And when you hate me, you also hate Stanley Tucci.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: We love Stanley Tucci. You know what I love about
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: him the most?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: That he keeps playing gay men and not apologizing for it?
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think he needs to apologize for it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: You can't just take a gay role from a gay.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Listen to me. There is a job, whether it's a
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: jobby job or a gig, and you apply for said job,
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: you get said job. You get said job.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: So you're blind casting through and through?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you had to choose the person that
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: he was in Devil Wears Prada, who would it be?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: You? Guy Branum. Okay. He's so good. Okay. I would
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: be pierced. Yeah, okay. But no, I get it. I
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: get it. But what about like race and casting? That's
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: like kind of important.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, yes.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: We can't be that.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: You can't.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: We can't be that.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: You can't.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Like look at Scarlett Johansson. She only plays Asian women.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: What the fuck was that about?
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Do you remember when Angelina Jolie played a biracial black woman?
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Shit. In, like, the 2010s. It wasn't even, like, 1994.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: No, it was based on the true story of.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: A— Literally an Afghanistan widower, right?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Right. No, I think the husband had been a journalist.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: His name was Daniel. I don't know why I remember that.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: And he was beheaded, right?
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: And she played his wife.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: The wife.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Who is half black, half- And.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I think she got an award. She got nominated for,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I think, an Oscar.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: You can't do things like that.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Straight to jail. Tom Cruise was the last samurai. I mean- Oh, man.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Jake Gyllenhaal was the Arab prince. What was it? He
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: was the prince of Persia. Jake Gyllenhaal?
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: It's like, we just don't care anymore.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Right? I mean, there was like an action figure of
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Jake Gyllenhaal as like in full... I think was really...
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Things he doesn't want us to remember. Well, listen. That
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: and the Taylor Swift song.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: We're living in a time where we.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: They want us to forget about that.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: We're not going to forget, Jakey.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to forget.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Sorry, Jake.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I will forget my Airbnb checkout time and the owner
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: will show up and kick me out. But I won't
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: forget about that Taylor Swift song. And I won't forget
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: that you played Prince of Persia, Jake Gyllenhaal.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Do you think she's still thinking about that song?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's singing it at every concert.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I know, but she's a whole married lady now.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, maybe she's not thinking about the heartbreak, but
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: she's thinking about them shareholder value dividends of every time
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: she plays that song, she gets the, yeah, she gets
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: the residual check in the mail.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: No, good for her.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Good for her. Good for her. I'd play it. Get it.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Get it, girl. No, but I do think that, what
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: the fuck were we talking about?
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: We were talking about like race and- Oh, racial stereotypes.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Racial stereotypes.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: We weren't talking about racial stereotypes.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: We were talking about- We were talking about casting. Casting, right.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Type casting. So I think, I mean, I don't know
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: why I have to say this, but I'm going to
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: say this, right? I think if you're talking about a
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: real person, okay?
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: I think it would be Denzel Washington cannot play George
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Washington because George Washington was a real person. Denzel Washington, though,
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: could play Superman.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Wait, I actually think, though, I a little bit have
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: to disagree.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: OK, please.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Because I feel like we as a society only center
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: white stories and narratives. So if we want black actors
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: to be working, we have to be cool with Denzel
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: maybe playing George. You see what I mean?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I see what you mean.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Because we're not making the story of like famous black
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: people as often as we are famous white people.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: But I also don't think.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Is that too liberal? Is that too woke of me?
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: A little bit.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Is that snake eats the tail?
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Kind of.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: I got a little bit too woke.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I think that like Jake Gyllenhaal can't play Nelson Mandela.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Like that's you can't do that.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Was the Prince of Persia real? I don't know. Was
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: there a Prince of Persia based on that? I actually
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: didn't see it. I have no idea.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. It's like the people who
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: were all upset when, I forget the girl's name.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Hermione.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Hermione was black on Broadway. Oh, I know. People were
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: like picketing.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: People were like really upset.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: They were like, do we have to remind you Hermione
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: is a witch, a fictional witch.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Or the people who were really upset when the Little
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Mermaid was played by a black actress. It's a mermaid.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: If I have to type, I have to remind people
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: mermaids aren't real one more time.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Or like people who were really upset that Lupita was
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: playing Helen of Troy. Helen of Troy's dad was Zeus
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: who got a duck pregnant.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Fuck. Not a duck.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: It was a swan.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Not a duck. Forgive me. It was a swan.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: The swan truthers are going to come after you.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: They're going to say, how dare you? And people were really,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: there's no way that she could be Helena Troy. Helena
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Troy isn't real.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: There's someone in a red hat somewhere talking about how
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: ducks can get pregnant.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: And I'm sorry. I know it wasn't a duck. It
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: was a swan. But still, do you know what I mean?
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: They're going to come for you. Come for me. Hey.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Come for me.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I keep telling you guys. Those are the duck truthers.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: I keep telling you guys. I grew up in a
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Haitian household. You cannot hurt my feelings.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: She got hit with a chancla too many times. Yeah.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Do you have. We'll show that video.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: We'll show that video. Throw up the video, CJ, of
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Melissa reenacting her mother reaching for her own sandal to
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: beat Melissa with it. Yeah. And it's a full face.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: It's a moment. It's a moment. We're going to put
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: it right here to the left of my face.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: And it's me just sort of bending down.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Wait, let's do the YouTube cover. Me looking afraid of
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: like the image next to me. Okay. So Christina, clip that.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: So really quickly, I was in Scotland and I had haggis. Okay.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So my God, we're not even done with haggis yet. Okay.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Did you keep it down?
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: I did. I kept it down.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: But it was fancy haggis.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Well, I think that they have... It is not the
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: haggis of yore. I think it's the haggis of now.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: It was very like.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Haggis of Troy.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It was, you know, beautifully presented in a little...
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: Nice restaurant. Yeah, it was a nice restaurant.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Throw up the photo, CJ. I will.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I won't. CJ will. Interestingly enough, you know
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: who went down and loved the haggis?
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Andre? Andre. Andre. Andre needs to have dessert right after dinner, Andre.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Yes. And Andre who is- Picky.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Eater, Andre.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: Very picky eater, Andre.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: And he gobbled that up.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: He did more than I did. I had a couple
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: bites and was like, okay, I'm good.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Munch the munch and crunch the lunch.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: And he was like, he wanted to take it back home.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, we're good.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: We're not going to be stopped at the costume. No, no, no.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: He meant back to the hotel. He meant that. He
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: was like, yeah, what if we get hungry later? I'm like,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: you're good.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: There's a whole room at JFK filled with salami. There is.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Filled with like salamis of people trying to sneak in.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: No, but yeah, he enjoyed the haggis a lot more
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: than I did. I thought it was fine. I remember.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: So I shared the picture.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: What did it taste like? Was it like ground beef?
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: No. I mean, the consistency of the meat is like
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: a ground meat kind of consistency. It tasted very liver-ish,
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: which I don't love.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: So we are exporting horses for slaughter.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Did you see that?
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: And we are importing mystery meat into America that Trump
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: won't say where it's being imported from.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I tagged Pete and I asked him if it was true.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, people are, I mean, rightfully freaked out.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I'm very curious about this.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Well, because all these wild horses in America that are
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: supposed to be protected. I know. They're selling them for $ 25.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. This coffee was $ 26. Shame on.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: You.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Like $ 25 for a whole horse?
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: And they're exporting them, grinding them up. They did almost
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: 6,000 already. Horses.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Why? My little ponies.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: But you're not answering the question.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Why? I think for a dollar. I think it's like
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: a loophole. People are making– Republicans are making money off it.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: So Trump is letting them.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Like– For $ 25 a horse, we're making money on that? Like,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: come on.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: I guess. And like because they've deregulated so much. And
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: now there's a shortage of meat, I guess, and we're
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: importing ground beef. I didn't realize you were being serious
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: that it was $ 25. Yeah. It's literally $ 25. So there's not–
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing here. Yeah. And I'm sure someone is way
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: more qualified and is going to do the breakdown online. Sure.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: And I'll see it the minute we finish recording.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: But I'm guessing that someone's making a little bit of
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: money and then there's like oversight and they're not realizing.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: But it's.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: It is $ 25 a horse and you're saying it's 6,000 horses.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Is that where we are? Is that where we are?
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: That's a studio in Midtown. Like that's not even for
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: one month. It's.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I don't understand.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: It can't be.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: That can't be right. It can't be right.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: All I know is the horses are being killed. No, no, no.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I understand.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: And they're not supposed to be because they're wild.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: I understand that also. I just don't understand. Where's the
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: money making?
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Mr.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I'm a great businessman. Where is the money making coming from?
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: But all I know is the midterms are coming and
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Republicans love horses. I don't know any socialist at the
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Hampton Classic. If you're a socialist and you've been to
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: the Hampton Classic, comment on this video. I guarantee you
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: not one fucking person at the Hampton Classic is a
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Mom Donnie supporter. No one loves horses more than Republicans.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Back me up here. Have you ever seen AOC loading
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: up a horse with a saddle? No. Riding around in
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: an Hermes scarf? I didn't see it.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Nope.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: No. I've never seen Bernie on a horse.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: No. Horses make me nervous.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Comment below with a photo of Bernie on a horse.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Well, that's going to end up happening. It's going to
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: be that picture of him with the mittens. On a horse.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: On a horse. I feel like I missed this whole thing.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Did we talk about our algorithm yet?
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: This is our algorithm. CJ already made it. Oh, my God.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: CJ is quick.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: That's women in STEM. We got to get Karlie Kloss
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: up in here with her girls who code because CJ,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: he's too fast with the computer. He's so fast. So
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: speaking of riding around on horses going places, who's the
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Secretary of Transportation in America right now?
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Well, Michael, I'm so glad you asked me because they
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: came up on my algorithm. And let me tell you,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: what about that? That pisses me off.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I fucking hate you so much. Don't censor that fuck, CJ.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: I want people to know.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Anyway, so for those of you who don't know, let
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: me give you a little journey back in time to
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: the 90s. The real world San Francisco and the real
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: world Boston.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, we're really going back. Oh, we're really going back.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: The original reality TV show.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Rachel Campos was, I believe she was on the real
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: world San Francisco.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: And she was sort of this conservative girl. I forget
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: where she grew up, but she was from a Cuban
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Catholic family. And she was very conservative, except that we
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: all watched her hook up with Puck, who was like
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: this weird, he was like a bike messenger, always blowing
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: snot rockets, this whole thing. He was really disgusting, but
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: they hooked up. And it was this whole thing about it. Anyway,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: show ends. And then a few seasons later, there is
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: the real world in Boston where Sean Duffy, who is
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: now the secretary of transportation, is on that show.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Wait, are you serious? He was on that show?
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. She was on a show.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: How many reality stars were going to have an office?
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: All of them.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize. Wow. Okay.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: You.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: You're next.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: You and Alan Cummings. And I don't remember the other
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: people who were on that.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Show with you.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: So- Once MTV realized that The Real World was going
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: to be successful, they started doing other iterations of it, right?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: So they did Road Rules. So that was when people
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: were in Winnebago, when they would travel and get into hijinks.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: And then they would do these games where it was
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: like Road Rules versus Real World.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Yes, I remember that.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: And Rachel and Sean were on that show. And that's
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: where they met. And we watched Rachel and Sean hook up.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: And they got married later. They have nine children. Now,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: the reason why they got married in the first place
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: was because Rachel got pregnant.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: With nine children?
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Well, not nine at once.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: She's Octomom. No.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: So I forget where the kids are, but now there's
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: this one daughter who is getting ready to go to college.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: And now they have a reality show again, by the way.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: And they were having this whole conversation with this kid
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: talking about why she's not allowed to go to Harvard.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: And she's not allowed to go to Harvard because they
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: raised her to be Catholic. And that Harvard is now
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: manipulating young girls like this girl, whatever her name is.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: To be what? Protestant?
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: To be like, you know, like Rachel was back when
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: she was on the 90s hooking up with people like Puck.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: The hypocrisy of this.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: And there's one thing that I really hate. I hate
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: that shit.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: To be hypocritical, but then also do it.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: To be righteous.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: When there's so many receipts, like you were on TV.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: You were on TV. We watched you hook up with
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: each other.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Like it's never been so flagrantly.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: It's fucking pissing me off. It made me angry enough
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: that I went on threads.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: No, you didn't. I did. Not the threads.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: And I read them. Because we watched you do this.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: And the both of them grew up Catholic. And what
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: they're saying is that. They did their best to raise
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: these Catholic kids and that they're afraid that Harvard's going
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: to undo it.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: I hate it because it puts me in the position
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: of having to defend Harvard.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Like I have to be like, what a fine institution.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: No notes. Like they've never had an issue before. They
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: would never do that. Like, why are you going to
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: put me in that kind of.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Give me a break. It annoyed me so badly. And like,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: I've been annoying my friends. I'm like, do you remember
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: watching Rachel and Sean hook up? How dare they?
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: How dare they? Melissa does really get.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll get like a thorn.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: In her side on something. Something ridiculous. And I'm like,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: here we go. Here we go.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: And I'll get really mad about it until I decide
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: to give up. But it annoyed me. And the other
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: thing is somebody else said the problem with that is that.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: they don't think that the daughter got into Harvard in
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: the first place. So it was just a conversation to
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: have on their show. And if it's such a big deal,
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: send your kids to Villanova or Notre Dame or wherever
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: it is. But she's going to the University of Chicago.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: So it was like a useless conversation. I hate these
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: people so much.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: So he's Secretary of Transportation now?
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Has he done anything– is there anything noteworthy about his
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: role in office? No.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Anything that he has done has annoyed me because I
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: keep on remembering seeing him on The Real World. And
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: he got up and he was saying something about how–
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: something about the way that we run air traffic control
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: was like it was in the 80s with some ban.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: And he like– misspoke Duran Duran. And I'm like, Sean,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: you were next to me at the Duran Duran concert.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: How fucking dare you?
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Keep Duran Duran out of your mouth.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Keep Duran Duran out.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Of your mouth.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: And Rachel is on Fox and Friends on the weekend.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: She's an anchor. They got nine kids?
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: You know who was supposed to be on Fox? Our
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: next guest.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: And what happened?
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: They canceled right before the segment. Suzanne Lambert's here in
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: the studio.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Do you think it's because she was talking about the
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: makeup application?
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: No, I think it's because she overheard some shit that
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Trump's finance guys were saying.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: And in a bar in D.C., which is exactly what
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: would happen. People hear gossip on the Amtrak to D.C.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: all the time.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Of course they do.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: And then they they're tweeting about what they overheard yeah
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: and then that is how the leak happens People run
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: their mouth in D.C. too much.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: I hate that city.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I fucking hate D.C. Okay, you hate D.C., you hate Boston.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: But I already talked about it, and no one came
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: for me when I said I hated D.C. because people
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: from D.C. know.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I think you should come for him now that he's
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: talking shit about D.C. Do it. Boston people take a break.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Do it. D.C.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Folks. Boston people have been taking a break. They're at
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: the Dunkin'. But, you know, I was in Maine last week.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Was it fun?
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Ask me a different question.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Was it a trip or was it a vacation?
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: It was a trip. Wait, when I said my Airbnb
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: host knocked on the door and kicked me out, I
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: fell asleep on the sofa and my phone wasn't plugged in.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: And I missed checkout. He left me and went to
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: the cafe and was getting pastry and coffee. Because everything
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: takes forever in Maine. He was gone for like an hour.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I really get so annoyed when people don't answer their phone.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Andre is notorious.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Okay. Well, my phone was completely dead.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: That will never happen to me.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: Well, the host was freaking out because she had someone
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: new coming.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: And you were in the way. I woke up like,
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: where am I? Because I was on the sofa, phone
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: not plugged in, dead. Knocking on the door, what the
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: are you still doing here get out of my.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Airbnb was she pounding on the.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Door cleaner had come knocked i slept through it wow
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: there was alcohol involved sure i went out the night
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: before and i got back i went to i think
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: i fell asleep at like four on the sofa so
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: this is like we're deep into like noon at this point.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: What time was checkout 10 the cleaner came left did
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: you apologize to the I.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Paid her for like another cleaner. Like I, we course
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: corrected everything. Okay. But I was half awake, half alive, hungover,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: like tunnel vision. Why is this woman yelling at me?
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I don't understand where I am or what's going on.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: And she's like, why are you still here? Melissa?
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: I panicked and I said, I had a sick child.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry. I was up all night.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: My kid was sick. That's what I said. That's what
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: came out of my mouth. Okay. Heartcut.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: When you sign up. I don't know.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Wait, wait.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: But when you sign up for an Airbnb, they ask you.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: There was no thought given to this. Okay. This was
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: like I was half alive.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: And I said that. And then she said, okay. And
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, we'll be out of here in 10 minutes.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Heartcut to me cleaning. I get a phone call. Now
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: my phone is charged. Sure. It's Cameo, which is I
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: make these videos for people. They pay me to make
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: a video. Melissa roasted me for it. Yeah. I've got
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: 10 minutes to make five videos or something. I'm at
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: the deadline. So me washing dishes, I think still drunk.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Washing dishes. Happy birthday, Brady. Your friend Mackenzie wanted me
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: to say happy birthday. Me like stripping the beds, trying
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: to do Airbnb checkout like while I'm filming cameos. Let
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: me tell you something. Yeah. I thought I was going
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: to get like reported for these cameos. Mackenzie and Brady
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: loved that shit. They were like, this guy is such
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: a meme. They were like, we loved it. They wrote,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: they DM me on Instagram. They were like, I hope
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: you're feeling better. You seemed really, really hungover when you
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: sent us that cameo. I was like, oh shit, sorry guys.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: They could tell. When people reach out to you on cameo,
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: what do they want?
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of moms of gay kids who want
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: me to say hi.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: It gets better?
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Not at all.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Is it like, is it like.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: No, it doesn't.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: Babe, no. I mean, are they looking for an It's
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Got Better message?
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: No, it's like, can you, like my son and I
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: like love your videos. We watch them together.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Which like I love because I didn't even have Queer
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: Eye round one growing up. Like we didn't have, we
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: had like Will and Grace.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Don't talk to me about what you didn't have.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, I know.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: Do you know how it's a miracle I made it
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: out alive?
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: So what are people asking you for? And when you're
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: doing the cameos.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Okay. I'm trying to think like what some of them were.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: So is it always a happy birthday? Is it like
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: a happy anniversary?
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: No, people want a diva. Someone hired me on cameo.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Actually, this is fucked up.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay. To break up with somebody?
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: No, I don't know if I'm allowed to do this.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Wait, you can't break up with someone?
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: You can. People can ask you to do anything on cameo.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: I have the option to decline. I always say yes.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: So if you guys want to book a cameo with
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: me to do something really fucking crazy, I'll do it.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: But someone hired me to tell their boss, and you
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: can send them anonymously. So you can send it to
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: someone anonymous. I told this person's boss that basically they
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: were doing something I didn't totally understand. It was something medical,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: medical industry. I guess they were asking people to come
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: in on shifts after they had already called out. Or
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: they were calling it on reserve. Or the boss like
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: wasn't letting people take breaks. And they wanted me to
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: tell the boss in my diva voice.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Get fucked.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: You're not supposed to do that, girly. Because they were
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: making people come in when they were like still sick.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: And so I made a cameo and sent it to
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: her anonymous.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: And so the boss. So do you.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Just gets a message that's like someone sent you a cameo.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: And it's me being like diva, you're not supposed to
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: force people to work overtime and not pay them.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: But let me ask you this. When you do the
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Cameo and you send it to them, do you know
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: when they open it? Can they say anything back to you?
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: It all goes through Cameo's platform. I think people can
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: message me, but I don't. I just film it and
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I hit send. I do a one take wonder.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: And it just goes bloop right out.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: I would. Maybe I'm going to sign up for Cameo.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: And like break up with people.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: You'd be so good at that.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I think I would be. Should I do that?
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Should I hide?
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: CJ's like, yup, you should do it.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Then people will repost them. So someone reposted one of
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: mine saying something. I said something crazy to somebody. I
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: forget what it was. And someone reposted it and tagged me.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, I can't believe I said that.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: I love that. That was crazy. Okay. I think. Yeah.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: But like- If you want Melissa to dump- if you want.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Me to break up with somebody for you, if you
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: want me to tell a family member that you have
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: decided to go no contact, if you, oh, if you
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: want me to tell somebody that they smell, If their
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: hygiene is questionable.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: To put down the natural deodorant.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. The other day we were someplace.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: This is August. Oh, I know where you were. But
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: we can't say.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: I won't say where we were. But I was someplace
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: and someone's natural deodorant failed us all.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: It failed them. A child was left behind. Yes.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: It's, you know, and I get it. But sometimes... The
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: risk of cancer might be worth it.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: The call is coming from inside the blouse. I can't.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I can't.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: It was bad.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: It was bad. They make so many deodorants now. Just.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Living better through chemistry. Please. And you could say the
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: thing about chemistry, you could say whatever you want. So
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: if someone hires you to say something, you could say
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: the total opposite if you want. Someone hired me to
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: make a diva. Diva telling his wife to clean up
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: the house. I said, Diva, I'm not going to fucking
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: tell your wife to clean up the house. You get
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: up off your ass and you clean up the house.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: So I've railed on this guy this morning.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: But is that okay? Because they've paid you to do
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: one thing and you have decided.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: But that's what I'm going to be doing.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I feel a way about that.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Ask for a refund.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: But then does that come out of your pocket?
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I guess so. I don't know. But I'm not going
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: to tell some lady to clean up her house.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not going to. I am going to say, hey, Linda,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: your deadbeat husband, Al, wants me to tell you to
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: clean your house. And I think you should tell him
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: to get fucked. That's what I would do. I would
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: give the message. He wants me to tell you to
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: clean the house. I think that's bullshit. And you should
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: tell him to go get bent. That I would do.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: But I'm not going to just completely do the opposite.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: You just told him. Yeah. He's watching. All right. So
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: let's get into... What? Under Oath. Our guest is here.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: So we'll be right back. Melissa and I are going
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: to be on the same side of the table.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's so much fucking trouble right now. You don't understand.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: I'm on Melissa's side.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Brief Recess. I'm in so much trouble.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: I just... There was a piece of glitter on Melissa's
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: face and I didn't tell her about it. And then
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: I admitted to knowing what it was. Roll back the clip, CJ,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: because I know you got that on air.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Melissa, you have like a sparkle on your left eye.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: So how come you didn't tell me that I had
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: a fucking sparkle?
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: No, I didn't know if it was like intentional. Like
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: some drag queens do like a.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just one.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: You see the girls do the yellow stars.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you what's going to happen.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: She's going to keep my car. She's going to keep
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: my car.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I'm capable. You are going to have
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: a giant booger on your face and I'm going to
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: leave it there. I'm not going to say anything.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: You're going to have a piece of corn in your teeth.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: I didn't think one piece of glitter was that egregious.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: Well, you should have told me.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: Because you wear a little bit of glitter. There's a
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: little shimmer. Okay. It's still there.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: Okay. Don't look at me anymore. Just leave me alone.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Well, now I'm going to overcorrect.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: Glitter and shimmer are also different.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: We also have Suzanne Lambert in the studio. Please welcome
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: to the stage Put your ears together for Suzanne Lambert.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: We got the perfect moderator for this argument because- Yeah.
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: What are y'all's signs? I'm so curious.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Taurus. Both of us.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: You're both? Okay. We'll forget it.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: All right. When y'all are done.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: Literally, yeah.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: When there's one person standing, let me know.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, literally. I know. We lock horns. April Tauruses.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: April Tauruses. And the 21st and the 22nd.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: My dad's the 24th. And I know how y'all are.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: Y'all are one day apart.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: On the 20th. I'm 420. You're 420?
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're 420. That's right.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, well, she just forgot your birthday.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I know. And it's like, actually, I feel.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Like we're even now.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: She said, and.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: Finish your sentence.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I'm done. Okay, let me do a formal intro for
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: people who don't know you. People who've been living under
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: a rock. People who are not following the internet.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: Some kind of rock.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, Suzanne Lambert is a DC-based comedian, internet personality, and
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: general menace to society. She proudly owns the title of
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: the Regina George liberal for her hilarious, viral, mean girl
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: style videos, trolling Trump supporters, MAGA content creators, and right-wing politicians.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: You may know her as the Republican woman makeup filter.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: viral video where she did the fierce Republican woman makeup,
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: which a lot of people parodied, myself included. I did
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: gay Republican makeup.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: You did?
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: I did, yeah. It was, it didn't, I mean, it
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: got some traction. People liked it, but I mean, you
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: really originated the role.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: How was that for you?
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: It was so funny. It was like one of those
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: things where I woke up and I was like, genuinely,
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: I wake up and just immediately incite terror. Like sometimes
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: I do have those days where I wake up and
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: I just have a menacing spirit. Become ungovernable.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: No. And you have to like when that happens, I
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: think you lean into it. You have to lean into
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: it and let it happen. Because otherwise it will fester.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: A hundred percent.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: And I had been getting all these hateful comments from
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: MAGA women. And I'd like noticed they all do their
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: makeup the same because I grew up around women and
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: you notice patterns, right? So I just made this video
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: in like 20 minutes. It was like, I want to
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: do my makeup like all the Republican women in my comments.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Kind of posted it.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: Kind of figured it would get some laughs and went
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: about my day. I had no idea it would like
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: become an international thing.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Well, especially because we have people like R.I.P. Carolyn Leibitt.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Who have the filler dots all over the lips while
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: she's on the plane that's getting shot down by Turkey
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: like it's a hole and she's not getting snuck out
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: through the food truck. Like it really is something that
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: we're seeing with almost every Republican commentator, woman in the
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: Republican cabinet who has chopped unk makeup.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Chopped unk. I just don't understand like when you– when
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: they are looking at themselves, what are they seeing or
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: what are they not seeing, right? So like when Karen
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Leavitt looks at her mouth and she sees the– I
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: mean and it's just.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Sort of like– And she sees the pain by numbers dots. Right. Yeah.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: It looks like the Grinch. You know how the Grinch,
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: you can see those little dots?
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Y'all, she's not even 30. Yo, let me tell you.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. I have no idea.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I'm older than her.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Okay. Flex.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Go off.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Watch your feet. Names are dropping. She's older than her.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Watch out.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: Why is Caroline living so difficultly? What's happening in the home?
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: 40 miles of rough highway. What's happening in the home?
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: What's happening in the home?
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, she's married to someone who almost has
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: his AARP card, if he doesn't already, and he's a billionaire.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, girl, go to my injector. I've shouted
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: her out so many times. She'll help you.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: If you want a good injector, she wouldn't. She would
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: check that. She'd be like, is that an NRA card?
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: She would decline service. Nurse Megan's a real one. But
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: like when I texted my injector, I was like, what
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: would make her lips look like this for the Vanity
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: Fair cover?
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: She said it's recently placed and badly placed filler. Like
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: they didn't place it correctly.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: That is something that I always find really fascinating. Like
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: sometimes I will see somebody who has all the resources
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: in the world and I'm just sort of wondering why
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: is your wig so bad, right? Right. Why is the
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: hair so bad, the makeup so terrible when you have
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: tons and tons of money? Why doesn't anybody love you
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: enough to tell you?
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: The wigs in America, what's going on in Hollywood, D.C.,
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: the wiggery. Why do the wigs look like that? While
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: we need, I saw a content creator, she was like,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: we just need a couple women from Atlanta to lay
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: the lace front in Hollywood. That's all you need.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: 50 bucks, they'll do it.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: And I'm from Atlanta and I concur.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, you are?
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: And you don't even need a lot of money to
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: get good makeup. You go to Sephora or Ulta. Look
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: for the most jacked up looking worker wearing the craziest eyebrows,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: the craziest makeup.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: And the most tattoos.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: And you say, I need some help. And they'll take
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: care of you.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: No.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: No, I got really bad. Do you remember that? I
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: went to Sephora and this is the one person who
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: came up to me first. And I was like, this
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: is what I'm looking for. And I was looking at
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: her and I was like, I cannot take this advice,
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: but I felt bad. I bought all the stuff that
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: she said. And then I went to a different Sephora
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: and I returned it because I was like.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: That's so kind.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I had no idea. I don't remember. I didn't know
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: you just returned it all.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: I returned it. I returned it all. Wow. Because I
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: felt bad because she was really nice.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Your makeup came correct today.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Did you have this done? You do this yourself?
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: I did it myself.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: Amazing.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: The hair, I did not do, but my makeup, I
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: did myself.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: And so you've recently eavesdropped on a couple conversations.
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: Many such cases.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: The most famous one. Me and Melissa in the green
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: room just before we recorded.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: You weren't supposed to be there. Y'all, we looked out
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: the window. This bitch had a fucking glass up against
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: the door. She had her ear up against the door.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: And a big ass ear.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: No, I did. My ears are small. Let's correct the
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: record on that.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: That's when you know those billionaires yapping at the bar.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: If you haven't seen it, Miss Suzanne has a video
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: out that's doing numbers on the clock app. It's doing
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: numbers on Instagram. People are living and loving and laughing
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: all over it.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: And.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: That's how you know she was sitting next to these billionaires.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Do you want to tell your story or do you
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: want a man to narrate it?
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: Or can you?
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: I'll say what I can say. Yeah, say what you
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: can say. I think I can say that I did
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: get a cease and desist very shortly before recording this podcast.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: My second in a week. Everyone clap. Thank you. Thank
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: you so much.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: They're like cue the sniper.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: Literally.
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: I'm like looking around. I'm like walking.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Put your head on the swivel.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: My head's always on a swivel.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: We're sneaking her out in a food truck after the recording.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: There was a cop in the coffee shop I was
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: working in today that seemed like he was looking at
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: me a little too closely. And I took my sunglasses
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: off and just stared at him like.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: At him.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, Suzanne, you're being a little crazy.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I do that.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: I don't think he's impersonating a police officer right now.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: In this Joe and the Juice.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: I think we're okay.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Joe and the Juice. But I do that all the time, though.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: People will like look or do something and I'm like.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: But you're right to do that because they are doing
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: shady stuff a lot.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: And I think, and sometimes I think that, I mean,
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: this is a whole other thing, but sometimes I find
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: that men will do that to women as a way
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: to intimidate us. And I will not be intimidated. So
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: I just, and years and years ago, when I was
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: like in my twenties, there was this whole thing that said,
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: these are all the things that women can do to
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: make themselves look crazy so that there's a crazy guy
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: near you. He like will go away. And one of the-
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite things was to always keep a
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: Tootsie Roll in your mouth. And if some guy looks
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: at you too hard, Just start drooling. Melissa, no.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm obsessed.
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: What?
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Was this some like Marie Claire like article advice?
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: I don't remember. Cosmopolitan magazine. Circa 1996, I had a
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: Tootsie Roll in my mouth. You were drooling. And then
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: people would just be like, oh, shit. And then, yeah.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: I got to get some Tootsie Rolls. Someone has a
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: podcast and they say, stay weird, stay alive. it's like
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: for women it's like you have to.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Act crazy act crazy start acting just saying crazy things
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: or like talking to no one who's there and they
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: will run away from you anyway.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: I'm taking notes i'm taking.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Notes i'm not over it listen to me.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I'm 54 years old you think that's an accident it
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: is not that's a good point you think i'm here
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: by accident no The Haitian crazy.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: The Haitian crazy.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: The Haitian crazy. We'll save you every time.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: Your video recently went viral.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: It did go viral.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: We can talk about just like the video that everyone
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: has already seen.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: I was recounting a conversation I overheard with, you know,
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: some Trump allies saying very damaging things. One being that–
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: Trump is going to get slaughtered in the midterms. That's
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: a direct quote, just talking about the greed and corruption
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: of this administration. So I made a video talking about
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: what I heard and it got, Meta took it down
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: for copyright. Which I've never, in all of the years
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: I've been on platforms, I've never gotten a copyright strike.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: Ever.
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: And there was no music. There were no logos. I
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: was going to ask you, what were you allegedly- I
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: was talking in my room.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Right. So what was the copyright infringement?
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: They didn't tell me.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: They didn't say.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: It just said copyright infringement.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: I had no details. I couldn't see the work that
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: they said I infringed upon. Like they didn't link it.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: I didn't get any kind of email. I got no
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: kind of system alert. I just went to the video
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: and it said your video is blocked in multiple locations.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: And then when I clicked on it, it said copyright infringement.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: It gave me no recourse. I appealed it immediately denied.
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: I made a second video talking about how my first
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: video got taken down. That video also got taken down.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: And this entire time, they're up, they're down, they're up,
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: they're down. Like they got restored and then taken down
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: probably five times total.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: It's like the intern. They're like just, they're having the
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: intern take it up and down. Like, yeah.
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: And believe it or not, my MetaContact, they introduced me
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: to my new MetaContact. It's a girl that I roomed
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: with on a bachelorette party like 10 years ago. I
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: have a person everywhere.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: You're like, I wore a cowgirl hat in Nashville with you.
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: We were in Vegas wearing much less.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Like, and worse.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: You're like, Caitlin, is that you? And she's like... Suzanne.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: Funny enough, her name is very close to Caitlin.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: That's really funny.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: But I was like, oh, hey. And then they got restored.
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: And they said it was erroneous.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: So they're back up again.
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: It was erroneous. It was an error. It was a
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: glitch in the system. They're looking into it.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Control-Alt-Delete. Yeah.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question. So Michael, let me
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: ask you. So in Suzanne's case, this video that she has,
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: they're taking it down because of copyright infringement, which is fine,
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: let's say, but do they not have an obligation to
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: tell her? What is it that you have?
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: No, technically anything you post on any platform, you're giving
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: them that video. So like when I post on TikTok,
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: I am posting on their platform. Like I'm agreeing to
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: their terms of service. I am posting a video. It
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: is now part of their machine. If my account gets disabled, deleted, blocked, whatever,
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: I don't have access to it unless I have it
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: saved in my personal files. So they don't, I don't
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: think they have like an obligation to give you an explanation. Unfortunately,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: I'm shocked to hear that Mark Zuckerberg isn't watching out
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: for first amendment race and people outspoken against MAGA. He's
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: always been standing up for the little person. So I'm
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: really just surprised to hear that.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: It's super shocking.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: So they're both up now, but they might not be
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: for long because they're I don't have billions of dollars
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: to spend in court, but some of these people do.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: Well, and that's what happens is that people often don't
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: understand that civil court can very much be utilized by
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: billionaires who want to get their way in whatever situation,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: whether it's discrimination, whether it is the First Amendment, trying
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: to silence someone. The people use it as a tool
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: to silence. It's so common. And it's a way that,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: you know, the judiciary, which is funded by the people,
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: is weaponized against the people.
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like it's so it's one of those things
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: where it's like, do I really want to hang my
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: hat on this and spend years in court over this?
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: Is it worth it? Sometimes the answer to that might
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: be yes. Other times it's not.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: Well, I think why people have jumped on the video
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: so quickly is because you clearly must have struck a nerve.
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: Someone commented at the meme, the George Bush meme, where
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: he's getting told about the World Trade Center. And they go, Suzanne,
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: another cease and desist has struck the inbox.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: That's literally how it went.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: My agent's like, hey, this person wants you to speak
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: on a panel. Also, you have another cease and desist.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. CJ loves to sort of like
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: sandwich the bad news with good news. He'll be like,
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: you were booked for two things. Your mom commented on
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: this video. Oh, no, mom.
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: We got to get mom a burner.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Let's get mom a burner. We got to get my
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: mom a burner.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: We got to get me a burner. I need to
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: stop posting. I need to get off the internet.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: We're getting Susanna airlifted out of the studio. Genuinely. But
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: oftentimes when I'm in court and people, are you following
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: the Lindsay Clancy trial at all? Yes. Okay. So people
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: are like, how come he's not objecting or why are
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: they objecting or why are people objecting in court? If
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: you're objecting to something in court, you're telling everyone to
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: look at what's happening. If you don't object, people are bored.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: They move on. They glaze over it. What those attorneys
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: have done and what those billionaires have done with your videos,
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: they basically told everyone, look at this thing. Everyone is
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: upset about this thing that we're now upset about because
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: she said something. And now, had nobody paid attention to you, sorry.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: It wouldn't have blown up that much.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: It would not have.
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: So I follow this sub stack that looks at the
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: most engaged videos on the left, the right, and the center.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: It follows like the 500 most popular accounts on each
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: of those. It's super interesting just to kind of understand
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: what's resonating.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: That's what it's called.
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: What's resonating. My video talking about how the first video
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: got taken down was the second most engaged video across
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: left-leaning media last week.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Boots the house down.
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: And they got double the engagement as the first one because-
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: To your point, when people feel like they're being tricked
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: or like duped or like censored, that resonates a lot
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: more than just this crazy conversation that happened.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, absolutely. Nobody is paying attention to the thing that
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: nobody's paying attention to. Do you know what I mean?
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: The moment you make it seem like the first thing
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: is a scandal, that's when people are paying attention to it, right?
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: If they would have just let you say what you
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: had to say it would have gone away. Totally. But instead,
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: now they're creating a situation where people who maybe had
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: never been engaged with you, now they are. And they're
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: going to pay more attention to what you're saying. And
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: it just seems like Don't we all know this? It's
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: like amateur hour. You're doing the opposite thing.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: The worst you can do is credential someone by sending
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: them a cease and desist. All they've done is give
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: you a legitimate sort of legitimized your claims in a way.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: But the tea is that it's like when my nephew,
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: I've got little nephews, one falls down, scrapes his knee.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: If we're all like, he starts screaming. Yeah. Yo, that's
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: what they just did. They sent you a bunch of seasoned. Damn.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: You can send a seasoned assist. I'm sorry. I sent
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: one to our friend Alyssa because she took me to
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: a sample cell that didn't have men's clothes. It's just
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: literally a fucking letter. It doesn't even have to be notarized.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I did.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: No, he did.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: And the damages where she had to buy me peanut
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: M & Ms.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to start sending recreational seasoned assists.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: You can just send that shit. You can just do that.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I'm learning. And it's all, you know, get chat to
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: write it.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: Theirs wasn't that much better than Chad. I've gotten one
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: from Chad. I've gotten one from a lawyer and they
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: looked pretty similar.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But anyway, I know you want to toe a
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: line here. I'm sure you have lawyers telling you what.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: To and not to say. He's probably shaking.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: And I want to be... And I want to... You know,
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: the lawyer in me respects the lawyer in him. So
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: I don't want to just like.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: Talk about that. Thank you.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: It's really gorgeous.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: If you see something, say something.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: That's what that means.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: And people don't realize that. And so... We talked a
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: bit about the makeup routine of MAGA Republican women. Anything
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: else you want to mention there about how it was received?
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Anything that? Yeah.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: So what was my favorite part about it? Because Republicans
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: aren't funny. They're not funny.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: It's true.
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: And there's a few reasons for that. One, they don't
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: hang out in diverse groups. And if you aren't around
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: different perspectives, it's really hard to like find the funny.
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: If you all have the same shared experience. Part of
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: the things that make a set so funny is when
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: it's relatable, but also when you can't relate to it
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: and you can hear things described in a different kind
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: of way. They don't have any kind of diversity as
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: far as like their friend groups and they're not funny.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: So they had no idea how to respond. They did
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: not know that they were being perceived in this way, right?
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: So they tried to.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: Come- They thought the makeup was snatched.
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: They thought they looked great. And I will say, before
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: I continue, I did have quite a few Republican women
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: be like, I'm Republican, but this is actually really helpful
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: for me to learn how to not do my makeup.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: And then they followed me. And I'm like, hey, this
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: is how we blue pill.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: This is how we get them in the door.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: Do you think it's because, like you said, they don't
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: have a diverse group of friends. So they're all looking
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: at each other and they all look the same. And
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: so they're like, this is how it's supposed to be done. Absolutely.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: Whereas I learned how to contour from... Trixie Mattel. I
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: learned how to do makeup on hooded eyes from one
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: of my favorite Asian makeup artists. I watch and learn
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: a lot of different kinds of people to learn different
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: kinds of skills, right?
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: So they don't do that. So they just keep recreating
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: the same looks. Like there's no updating it. But they
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: tried to respond by doing liberal girl makeup, but they
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: couldn't think of anything. So then they would just do
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: like the blue hair.
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: And it wasn't funny.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: And it wasn't funny.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: Because it's not... I'm like, look at me.
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: The next thing you know, now Republican girls walk around
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: with blue hair.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: I know, right? It's so right.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: They go left.
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: They're always doing that. But they had no way to
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: respond in a funny way. So some of them did
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: like clown makeup and it just didn't hit. Because y'all
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: don't observe the people around you. So you don't know
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: how to be funny. So that was my favorite part
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: of it.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: I also think people find conservative values from a place
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: of insecurity, right? They end up conservatives because they're already
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: not self-aware. Right? They sort of like seek that out
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: from a place of insecurity. And then it just sort
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: of becomes this echo chamber.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: You think?
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think a little bit. I don't know.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know. I think there may be
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: some people. But I really think that people tend to
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: be conservative and double down on it.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Because they don't want to share. You know what I mean?
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: I think that they really feel like this country is
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: my country. All of this stuff is mine. Right. Exclusionary. Right.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: And if they feel like if somebody who is not
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: exactly like them gets a piece of it, then they
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: will have less. And it comes from a place of
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: not so much insecurity. I think it's almost... Over security?
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: Like I deserve this. You do not deserve this. You
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: gay man, you black woman do not deserve the things
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: that I have because you're not like me.
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: Well, white privilege is difficult to admit to when you've
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: amounted to nothing despite it. I think that's a huge
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: part of the problem.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: Is there like, wait. sorry they're like why why aren't
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: i succeeding the way i should be why don't it's
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: like because white supremacy is bad for everybody actually except
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: for like the tippy tippy tippy right when all.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: You've like amounted to is like a white hood that's
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: like all you have you feel like every privilege in
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: the world you're straight white man and all you manage
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: to get that's.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: All you That's all you got.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: You had every leg up in the world.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: And all you got was that little.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: Houses cost $ 5 when you were growing up.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: Right, exactly.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: And you spent it on beer and gambling.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Right. God. Right.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, no shade to my parents. They're not going
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: to listen to this. But the fact that I don't
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: have generational wealth, I'm like.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: Why not?
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: I had to invest $ 10. You know what I mean? Literally,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: You had every opportunity in the world and you did nothing. Yeah, man.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: Exactly. You grew up with conservative parents, right?
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Are they still? Yeah.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: They have come a long way.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: We're working on it.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: They listen to all of my episodes of my podcast.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: They watch my interviews. They get really mad at MAGA
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: people who are dragging me through hell and court and otherwise.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: So one of these days.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: Do they.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: Are they listening to... So... I wonder if they're upset
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: with the MAGA people who are dragging their daughter who
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: they love. But is it just that? Or is it
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: also just like, you know, Suzanne kind of has a
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: point here.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: I think it's both.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: But I try not to push it too much.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: Because I think, especially their gender, like, I don't know.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: I think it's difficult to admit that you were wrong.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: And I think it's difficult to admit you were duped.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: I think some people have a harder time with that.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: It's also like we don't even have to go there.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: We could just focus on the future of you being
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: more progressive with your ideas. We don't even have to
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: dwell on the past. I mean, except for Joe Rogan,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: who literally got Trump elected by supporting him. I'll never
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: let him forget it. I'm always going to bring that
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: up because all those content creators love to pretend like
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: they didn't stand.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's the lamest thing I've ever seen.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: I'd love to pretend.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: Stand ten toes down on it.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: Or be like, God, I'm an idiot. I can't believe
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: I said that. You know, you could have a redemption
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: arc if you did that, maybe.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: Tucker Carlson, which.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: I know, I can't believe we're going to say this,
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: but here we are.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: But the idea that he is now saying, you know what?
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: That's on me.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: That makes me want to throw something.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: It does. It makes me want to throw many things
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: at his face directly.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: Speaking of wigs, and I'm sorry, that's a wig. That's
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: a wig, Maury. Oh, for sure. That's got to be
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: a wig.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: Wait, do y'all remember when he said he got attacked
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: by a demon in the middle of the night? I
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: forgot about that. Someone brought that back.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: To my record.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: He said he.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: Was attacked by a demon, and he describes it on video.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: So whenever I think he's making sense, I have to
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: remember that he literally did say.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: This is something.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: I'm like, he must have been watching Supernatural or something.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: It's like that guy who was like teleported to a
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: Waffle House. He was... And he like ran for office.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: Who was he? Who was that? Some Republican. And he
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: was like... He was appointed to like federal office. The
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: FEMA official. Thank you. That's a federal emergency.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: I'm like... Who among us hasn't taken a gummy and
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: gotten transported to Waffle House?
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, me and you both, brother.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: That's a crazy thing to say. Like, what?
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: That's stupid. Why'd you have me on here?
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: You should have never let.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: Me on here. I don't know.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: That's what I keep asking. Please stop letting me have
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: a mic.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: You're known being so mean on the internet. I love it.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: I needed to have you on. The mean girl of
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: the internet.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: Do you think you're mean?
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: I don't think she's mean. I think she's just honest.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: People call her that.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: No, no, I know. But do you think you're mean?
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: And the reason I purposefully got out in front of
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: it with my branding, which was very purposeful, was because
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: that has always been used as a way to kind
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: of silence and stifle from the right. If you call
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: out their bullshit, they'll say, this is always their response. Oh,
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: I thought you guys were the party of love and tolerance.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: They kind of use it. I don't know the correct word,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: but just like, to diminish you and keep you quiet.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: So I got out ahead of it for them, but
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: also the people on the left who will do hand-wringing
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: if you're too mean to the Nazis. It's like, oh,
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: we shouldn't make fun of people's appearance. They're throwing kids
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: in cages. I'll call them ugly. What are we talking about?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: What are you literally talking about? I'm like, am I
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: crazy or are you crazy? So I was like, I'm
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: just going to call myself mean. get ahead of all
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: of it so that when they come back with, oh,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: I thought you guys were the party of love and happiness.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: Like you thought wrong.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: I don't know who you're talking about, but it's not me.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: You just thought you were going to talk to like
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: a pretty white girl and you would get like a
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: nice bubbly answer.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And they expect that from me and I'm, I
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: won't give it to them.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: They've always gotten right. And I think that, I think
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: that being call it mean call, whatever you want, but
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: being different from what we've always given, especially as we're
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: moving into the midterms, We do have kids in cages.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: We do have a one-year-old kid who went in front
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: of a judge alone this week. I don't know if
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: you read about this. And the judge told the baby
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: to fill out an asylum application. You're kidding me. That's
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: sort of literally what we're dealing with here. So, like,
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: this notion that, like, the gloves should stay on.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: I actually have chills right now.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: But you know what it is also, though? It's... Make
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: it make sense, right?
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: Fine.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: Here's this baby who is undocumented and needs to do
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: this thing. You mean to tell me that there's no,
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know, what do you call them? Yeah. What's
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: the word that I'm looking for?
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 3: Like a tendon or something?
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: Well, isn't there, there's no representative for this child?
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes. Yeah.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Right? So that you're actually talking to the baby.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: Is there a video of that?
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: There's not. And in immigration court now, they make sure
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: nobody's recording. They, like, remind everyone before any hearing. Like,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: I go to court four days a week. Every single hearing,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: they read the recording rules into the record before we
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: even start because of shit like this.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: Because imagine if that were on video.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: A judge talking to a baby.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: Right. Mm-hmm. And is the baby supposed to say okay?
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: Is it going to be.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: In contempt of court for not speaking? The reason why
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: it came up is because July 31st, a contract expired.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: The government didn't want to renew it because the lawyers
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: didn't want to hand over privileged confidential information about the
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: migrants they were representing. So the Trump administration pulled funding
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: for the lawyers who used to represent babies like that.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: So now there's nobody there. So this government contract got yanked. Yeah.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. It's crazy.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: That makes me feel crazy.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: So this notion that like we shouldn't be mean or
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: we should... Right. When they go low, we go high.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: Like that whole thing, like that really has gone out
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: the window and needs to.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: It needs to.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: Because we need to meet the moment and the moment
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: is a hot mess.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: And I don't think that, you know, I am always...
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: I'm often disappointed in my party because we're not mean enough.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: And I don't need to go high. I need to
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: go as low as possible and drag them down with
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: me because... That's the only way that they can respond.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: It's the only thing that they seem to understand.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: I'll go to the innermost layer of the earth's core.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not going high. And I will say to my
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 3: bar for knowing if I've overstepped is are marginalized communities
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: upset at what I'm saying?
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: Are people who actually experience experience real oppression. And real
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: oppression is not getting into your prep school of choice
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: in Connecticut. That's not oppression. That's so true. Are marginalized
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: people offended? That's number one. And did I cause real harm?
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: Those are the two questions I ask myself when I'm
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: getting a lot of backlash.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: The answer to those has never been yes.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's a good way to keep yourself accountable
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: to yourself, right?
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: You know, am I hurting people who... can't take it.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Like if you hurt,
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: you know, Don Jr. 's feelings, I think it's okay.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: It's like always like, it's usually like white women with
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: 700 master's degrees who get mad at me. It's never
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: people who, I'm like, you're not my audience. If a
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: bunch of black women were in my comments, like, hey, you,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: I would immediately reverse course, apologize. That's never happened though.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: It's such a good gut check though, because when I
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: get backlash or when I talk about controversial stuff, I'll
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: talk about what we just talked about with Asylum. I'm
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: talking about Lindsay Clancy trial, Luigi. And I look at
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: people DM me all sorts of shit when you're talking
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: about a controversial trial. It's a lot of white people
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: who've got something to say. And I can count on
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: one hand the number of times a person of color,
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: and I know a lot of them follow me, reach
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: out and say, you really shouldn't say that. You got
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: to take that down or whatever. Totally. But it is
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: a good gut check because, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: If you've started sentences with, well, actually, more than once today,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: I don't want to hear from you.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: Then unfollow me.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: I don't care.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: Sorry.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: You're hearing it all today. It's like, actually, girly pop.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, God.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh-huh.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: Mute restrict. Hide from everyone.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: I'm done.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: She needs to be on Cameo. Get the Cameo.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: Well, I might have to to fund these legal fees.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: I'm going to.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: Be on Cameo. I'm going to be on DoorDash, Uber.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: You're going to see me everywhere. People ask me to
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: do crazy shit on Cameo. We want people to ask
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: Melissa to break up with people for them on Cameo.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: But you'd be so good at it. I'd buy a
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: Cameo from you.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: People want me to roast. This is what I worry about.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: I don't know if there's legal implications to this. I
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: worry about them asking me to roast someone, but it's
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: like not with that person's consent. And then it ends
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: up hurting their feelings and then they get mad at
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 3: me and try to cancel me. That's my worry with Cameo.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: I think it would go to that person and then
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: it's up to them if they post it or not.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: Like if there's a public portrayal of your video, it's
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: up to them to post it. It's not up to you.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: So if somebody if if somebody if Michael asks you
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: to do a Cameo for me. I'm the only one
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: who's seeing that. Yeah, that's true. So then if I
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: decide that I'm going to post this mean cameo that
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: you did, that's really on me. Yeah. You were asked
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: to say something to somebody. You did it. And then
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: what I do with it, I think, right? Yeah.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: It's up to you.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: I'm always thinking, trying to think five steps ahead.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: You're always thinking these lawyers got you so bad.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: No, they really do. No, they do. But I think
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: that it would only be an issue if you posted it. Yeah,
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: which I wouldn't. Which you wouldn't do.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: Right. Right.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: We'll think about Cameo. They did reach out to me.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: Do it.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: So we'll see.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I would love you to stick around and answer
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: some questions from the DMs. Yes. Let's get into details
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: from the DMs. These are all the sick and twisted,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: wicked and wild things that you send us. All the dirty, nasty,
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: freaky things you send to my DMs. I'm not opening
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: that photo. So stop sending it. I will.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: Send it to me.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: It's so alive.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: Sometimes someone will DM me and I'm like, oh, they
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: seem nice. And then I get the photo and I'm like,
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: I know what the photo is.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: You know what the photo is. Friends, what do I
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: always say? While Michael is a lawyer, he's not your lawyer.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: So get your own.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 3: And not mine. He's busy. He's real busy.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: He's earning that fee, honey.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: He sure is.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: I want to ask you a question. I just saw
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: this question. I think it's really interesting. As a comedian,
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: what do you say to people who say to you
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 2: that they voted for Trump because they thought he was funny?
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: They thought it would be a good time to see
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: the way that he acts? Because I've heard people say
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: things like that. You must have heard that before. Yeah.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: What do you think when people say things like that?
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: I think it's insane, but go ahead.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say you need to watch better comedians. Like,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: there is a difference between funny and just mean. And
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 3: that's what frustrates me about Republicans is they use the
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: most low-hanging insults. Like, quiet piggy. That's not even funny.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: Be a little more descriptive. One time, a Republican in
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 3: my comments told me I looked like I was going cross-eyed.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 3: And when I watched it back, I was like, they're right.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 3: And I got out my health insurance card and made
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: an appointment with my optometrist. That's a good insult, right?
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: So I would say, firstly, you need to watch better comedy.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: And secondly... I think what you're actually saying is that
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: you appreciate that he speaks to you on a level
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: that you can understand. And Democratic politicians have not always
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: done a great job of that. That's one of the
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 3: reasons I didn't like Democrats growing up. They always felt
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: like they thought that they were better than me as
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: someone from the South. And that's not a good reason
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 3: to espouse a president. But now we have Democrats who
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 3: I think are working really hard to get the message out.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 3: And would you rather have a funny president or money
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 3: in your bank account?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's an easy choice for me.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: I filled up my gas tank this week. Yo. I
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: felt literally the gas tank wasn't full. It hit the
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: $ 100 limit on the pump and stopped pumping. Like some
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: pumps at $ 100, it cuts off. And it'll stop pumping
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: and it wasn't even full yet.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: That's insane.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: So I had to do two transactions to fill the tank.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: And it's like everything.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: I don't even drive that. I drive like a couple
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: times a year.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: Like the tariffs. Like everything is so expensive.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: Everything is so expensive.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: It's wild.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: The beef we're importing.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 3: And now we're going to, yeah, we're going to get
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 3: horse meat.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: Horse meat. Horse Meat Disco is a party. It's not
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: a shop supermarket experience.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 3: Wait.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: Gaze in the comments. We'll understand what that is.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 3: That sounds fun.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 2: That was a good time.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: It really is. It's really fun.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: The other day, I saw this thing, and I don't
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: know if it's real or not. So, oxtails are really expensive.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: But now, my understanding is that we're actually not getting oxtail.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: We're getting kangaroo tail.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: Wait, what?
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: I'm shaking.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: The horrors are new and worse every day.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: I think my main problem with that is that I
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: will eat almost anything. But like... Tell me what it is. Yeah. Right? Like,
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: if it's kangaroo meat, fine. But don't charge me oxtail
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: prices for kangaroo meat.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 3: No, like, just like if it's imitation crab, tell me
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: if it's imitation.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: Because I'll figure it out.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: And give me a choice.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: And I deserve to know.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: You do deserve to know.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: You know, like, that's what they ran on was maha and, like,
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: transparency where your food is from and labeling and all
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 3: of that.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: Well, now we've got shrapnel in the sourdough.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: And Glass in the Ice Pops.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: And Glass in the Ice Pops.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: Glass in the Ice Pops.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 2: And I love those ice.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: Pops, by the way. They're so good. I know. That's
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: a Cranberries album. Glass in the Ice Pops?
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 3: It actually is.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: That's Lumineers. That's the Lumineers on tour.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: 2017 single.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: 2017 LP.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: So CJ wants us to read Friend of the Show
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: DM from Sergio. Do you want me to read it?
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: I can read it. Melissa, do you want me to
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: read it? Sergio, for the people listening, started our one-armed
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: woman manicure.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: Sergio.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, so can this be the end of the one-armed woman?
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: It won't be.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 3: It won't be.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: This has become the show where people send in their
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: amputee questions.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know how it happened. There was one guy, Sergio,
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: who sent in a question about a woman with one
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: arm getting a manicure. And it has become the thing
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: because she asked for a 50% off. Discount. Discount.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: And Sergio, who was an employee, didn't want to give
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: it to her. But then his boss came in and
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: was like, let's just give it to her.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: But now, okay.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: It's good for her, dude.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: She's like, hey. Okay, but every guest we ask, we
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: ask 10 guests. We got 11 opinions. Like everyone's got
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: a different side of where they fall.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: It makes sense to me.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: It makes sense to me.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: It's half the time.
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: I've got one arm. I'm going to advocate for myself.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: But do you think that, let me ask you this.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: Do you think that... The one armed person, when they
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: made the appointment, they should have said, hey, I only
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: have one arm. So can you give me a discount?
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 2: Or do you think that it's OK that they waited? What?
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: That they were like when they got there in the
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: chair and they're like.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: I see what you're getting at because ultimately that nail
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 3: technician is going to make less money.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 3: If their platform has a built-in capability where they could
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: write such a thing as a special note.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, as a making an appointment. Yeah.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: Like that might be a nice thing to include. Like
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 3: there's got to be like a note somewhere. But there
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: isn't always.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: The year is 2032. Michael and Melissa are answering questions.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 2: We're still on this.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: She's here.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: She's your third host.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: So Sergio, the guy who originally wrote in the question
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: about the manicure. Has sent us another message.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love how it starts.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: Hi, it's me again. I would like to address the
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: court regarding the most recent episode. Michael, your story about
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: the choking victim reminded me of this time when I
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: went to NYC Pride in 2019. Choking victim story was
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: I walked past a guy who was vomiting when I
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: was waiting tables in my 20s and I ignored it
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: because I was like, I don't want to deal with it.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: Turns out he was choking and needed that. Oh, no.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: And Michael basically almost killed the guy.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: And so the busboy gave him the hymen. Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: I told everybody. Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 2: Michael has no shame. No. Yeah.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: I've got your lawyer's number. I know I'm covering it. Good.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's wild.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: Okay. So Sergio says, I witnessed a man having a
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: seizure at a sex club. Was it Horse Meat Disco?
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: I was under the influence of many substances. I allegedly, Sergio,
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: I'm going to got your back here. I ran to
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: a water fountain. Filled a small cup with water, splashed
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: it on his face, thinking I was helping. Anyways, the
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: water made things worse, so I went to the front
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: desk of the sex club. Okay. I'm imagining... A receptionist, sure.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: I'm imagining.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: What's the name?
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 3: Hi, you've reached Horse Meat Disco. We're so sorry.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: I knew somebody who was a receptionist at a same club.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: Listen, mother has lived. I've been here a minute.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: Hold for the dungeon mistress.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 2: They check people in and they direct them to the
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 2: rooms that they're interested in.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, I'm done.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's a real job.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 3: Members of Congress hit those up a lot.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: No, they do.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I went to the locker room to get dressed
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: and the guy having a seizure was passed out on
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: a bench. I was like, let me get out of
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: here before the yellow tape goes up.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: So then he left.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: I guess he left before the police and medics arrived
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: because he was on so many drugs. Sergio, yo, you
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: got to stop admitting to alleged crimes on air, man.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: Sergio has a very full life.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: Okay. And I only read his first name. His whole
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: handle is his entire name.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: He's not.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: Some people have no ability to.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, help themselves. He trusts you. That's crazy. It was
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: nice of him to try to help.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: That was really sweet. He did tell the receptionist. Yeah.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: If you're at a sex club and someone starts seizing.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: What have we always said? When you're at a sex
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 3: club and someone starts seizing... If I had.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: A dollar, crochet that on a pillow. Fan art. Let's
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: get the fan art going.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: Yikes. Okay.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: So we also had been talking a lot about tall
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: people with small feet.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: It's like a whole thing. And it started out because.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 3: I don't like it, first of all.
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: Well, so it started out because I read this thing
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 2: where there was a trans woman who was having foot
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: feminization surgery. Right. And I was like curious about it
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: because if this person was had already been like a tall,
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: broad person, you would imagine that the feet. fit the person?
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: And what would it be like if somebody once had
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 2: big feet and now they have small feet? How are
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 2: they walking around?
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's such an interesting thing to ponder.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: This turned into a whole thing.
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: And now we've got lots.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: Of people coming in. People with tiny little feet and
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: giant tall husbands.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 2: And so now somebody said.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: A size six on a seven foot tall basketball player. Yes.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't think it matters.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 2: But this somebody wrote in and said, my lovely husband
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 2: is six three and has a size 10 foot. He
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: also has toothpick legs. And I ask him all the
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: time how he's vertical and not just toppling over like
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: a game of Jenga. To be fair, I'm 5'2 and
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: have a size 9 foot. So I'm looking like Polly
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 2: Pocket-sized Yeti walking these streets. So I guess I can't
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: say much. Love you guys. And I also say so
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 2: channeling my inner Cher from Clueless.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: So.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 3: So firstly, 10 is not that small. No, that's like
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 3: a normal. What I'm hearing, I'm assuming it's a woman
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 3: and a man. What I'm hearing is she's self-conscious of
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 3: her big old feet. I think she's got the flat foot.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 3: Because I'm 5'2 and I'm size 6 foot. And also
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: size 9 is a normal size foot as well.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 3: But size 10 is a totally normal shoe size for
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 3: a man.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: But do you think, so I don't know. So do
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: you think, At a 5'2, I feel like your size
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 2: six foot goes along with the rest of you. But
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 2: if you were a size nine foot and a size
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 2: and a 5'2 person, that does feel like a little
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: bit of a big foot for a small person.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 3: I think she's self-conscious of her foot size and she's
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 3: projecting it onto her husband.
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm picking up.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: Listen, Dr. Suzanne is in. That's what I'm picking up.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 3: Because size 10, I was expecting her to say like
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 3: size 8 on a man. But like size 10, I
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 3: feel like that's a very average shoe size.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: But my husband's foot is a size 10 and he's.
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: 5'8.
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 3: I've dated guys who are like 6 foot and size 10,
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: 10 and a half. Like, I don't know.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: What size is your foot?
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 2: 13.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: 13. But I'm six four. I'm huge.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 2: He's a giant.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 3: He's like, write that down, by the way. Don't forget.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: All right. We're going to go out on tanning beds
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: because you're from the South.
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: I grew up in a tanning bed on Long Island.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: Born and raised.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 3: That's so sweet.
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 3: I can tell.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I thought it would be good to kind of
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: go out on a tanning note.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 3: Perfect.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: Someone sent us a question about Let us know about
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: tanning beds. They're one of the few people still using
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: tanning beds to this day.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: Straight to prison. No trial. There was a tanning salon
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: in college that everyone knew about. Taylor's Tanning for $ 10. Wow.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 2: Alliteration. Wow.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: Go, Taylor. Unlimited tanning? That's how it was when.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 3: I was in college.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: That's how it was back in the day.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: You'd get little stickers for your eyes.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 2: And then would you get that weird... Oh, yeah.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 3: And the girls who were, I wasn't allowed to do
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 3: it and I wouldn't have anyway, but some girls would
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 3: get the Playboy Bunny stickers.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: Boots.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 3: I didn't do that. I got the heart outline.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: I kept it classy.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 3: I kept it classy on my hip when I was 15.
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 3: There were no Playboy Bunnies.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: The girl working at the counter was always like, can I, like,
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: they always had that vocal fry.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: Harris Hilton sort of like anesthetized.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 3: I get that I have vocal fry a lot, but
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 3: it is what it is. But I would go to
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 3: multiple tanning salons before homecoming and prom in one day.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 3: Me and my friends had separate memberships at two different
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 3: tanning salons so that we could tan twice.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: Because they would cut you off. They'd be like, that's
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: too much radiation.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 3: Because you can only do it once per day.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: It's like the law.
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: I think it's actually the law. So we would have
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 3: dueling memberships.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: What was the goal?
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 3: To just, like, not look so pale in our dresses.
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 3: Because it was always, like, we weren't really in the
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 3: sun before homecoming.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 2: When you look back on the pictures of back then,
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: do you feel like you were overdoing it?
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: I looked normal. There were a few girls in the
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: photo who looked nuts. And I wasn't, like, doing it...
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 3: My parents would kind of be like, eh, that's a
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 3: little much.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: Should have been a little stricter.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: Sarah M. says it's 50% vanity, 50% mental, especially in
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: the winter. She's a Georgia girl and any cold weather
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: breaks her.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: So it's laying in a warm bed in a cold
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: room is game changing.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: I completely understand. You know what would be worse than that?
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 3: Your cold body laying in a cold room when you
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 3: die of skin cancer.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: Just put your hand over the stove like the rest
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: of us.
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 3: And I'm also from Georgia.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: And I love sunless tanner. It's kind of wearing off
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 3: right now. Don't zoom in. But, like, I.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: Literally like.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 1: CJ's trying to figure out how to zoom in.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 3: One, with the seasonal affective disorder stuff, I totally get that.
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 3: My red light mask has cured.
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: Love the red light mask.
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: Because it gives you the same effect. You have these
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 3: really bright lights on your face, but it's actually helping
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: your skin. It's not harming your skin. It's repairing fine
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 3: lines and texture. I'll leave it on.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: I'll lay in bed with the red light mask on.
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: It's so nice.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 3: And then sometimes I'll just leave it on my head
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 3: because I just feel secure. But it's great for your skin.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 3: It's actually good for you. It gives you the same effect.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 3: And also, if you are doing a 12-step skincare routine,
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 3: which I'm sure she is with the vitamin C and
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 3: the retinol and this, and then you're going to a
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 3: tanning bed, just put on clown makeup next time. Because
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 3: that makes no, those things are in direct competition.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: With each other. You're canceling it all out.
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 3: It would be like being on the treadmill and just
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 3: shoving brownies down your face. Looking like Freddy Krueger in
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 3: the tanning bed. You know what I'm saying? If your
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 3: goal on that treadmill was to shed some calories, if
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 3: that was your goal, I'm not saying it should be.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 1: Right. No, no, no.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 3: The seven disclaimers.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. But we hear you.
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 3: I do not mean to be way normative in any
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: way or sense of way. But like it completely counteracts
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 3: your goal. And that's just like stupid and it's not
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 3: worth it. And I always think about like if she's
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 3: married or like has like loved ones, like imagine dying
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 3: of skin cancer and then your husband remarries someone else.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 1: He's going to.
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 3: Or what if someone else has to watch your dog
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 3: for you?
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: You're not there to say you disapprove of her.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: You can't leave that in a will.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 2: And he's going to because men can't be alone.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 3: So basically, if you keep going to the tanning bed,
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: you're going to get left.
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: And you know what? I actually want to end the
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: show on this note. I was actually looking for like
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 1: an uplifting beat out. Oh, sorry. No, this is it.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: Caught me on the wrong day for that.
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 1: Don't go into 10 minute because A, you'll die. And
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: then B... He'll get remarried and you won't be able
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: to disapprove of the marriage.
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 3: Your dog's going to like her more than you.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 2: You know what, though?
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: Sorry. I'm sorry.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 2: I'm just reading this thing. The thing about this woman.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: It's true. No, no.
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true. But the thing about the story you
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 2: just read that you skipped was that.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 1: She doesn't tan anymore.
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 2: Her dad paid for it because he wanted to make
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 2: sure that she had some color.
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: We got to get out of here.
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 2: That's not.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: We've been in the DMs too long.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know about any of.
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: We clicked on the photo is what happened.
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 3: I don't know about any of that. It's not about
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 3: having some color.
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 2: The owner was a squirrely white guy. Michael, you skipped all.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: The best parts of this story. I skimmed.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 3: The owner of the tanning bed was a squirrely white guy? Yeah,
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 3: I bet. I bet there were cameras inside those tanning
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 3: beds too.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 1: No problem. That's why you really shouldn't go tanning.
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: Also, you're getting– sorry. You're getting surveilled.
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: We got to get out of the studio.
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to get out of here.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for watching.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 3: Suzanne, look at the camera.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 2: When are you going to– Where can people find you?
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 3: You can catch my podcast, Mean But True, every Tuesday,
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 3: Mean But True's Day on socials at It's Suzanne Lambert, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 3: I'm everywhere, babe.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: Court.
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 3: Court soon. Court here soon. Oh, the court fits are
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 3: going to slap. The get ready with me in prison
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 3: are going to be so good.
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: If when I see you get ready with me to
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: make some prison booze.
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 2: Come with me to make. With your voice.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 3: I think I would like it. I think they would
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 3: like me in there.
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No. Oh, you would be like.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 2: No, very popular.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: You would absolutely.
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: You'd be so popular.
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 3: I have thought about this.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We'll visit you.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 3: And they can write me letters. I'll have a prison podcast.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you for watching Brief Recess. I got to get
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: out of here. We'll see you next week. What's my outro?
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 1: I'll see you in court.
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 2: No, you won't.
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 1: This has been an Exactly Right production recorded at iHeart Studios,
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 1: hosted by me, Michael Foote.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 2: And me, Melissa Malbranch. Our producer is CJ Ferroni.
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: This episode is edited by Mark Schroeder.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain, and our guest booker
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 2: is Patrick Kottner.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: Our theme song was composed by Tom Breifogel with artwork
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: from Charlotte Delarue and Vanessa Lilac, with photography by Brad Obono.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 2: Brief Recess is executive produced by Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark,
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 2: and Danielle Kramer.
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram at Department of Redundancy
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: Department or on TikTok at Michael Foote.
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 2: And I'm on both Instagram and TikTok as Melissa Malbranch.
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: Got legal questions? Reach out at briefrecess at exactlyrightmedia.com. Listen
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: to Brief Recess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. And of course, we're a
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 1: podcast with video. Search for Brief Recess on YouTube.