Latest / The Uncommons / Fear of Rejection: Why Being Seen Feels So Dangerous | Ep 20
Transcript
- Parisa Bady: In our highly surveillance culture, that you have to be so good. How can I remove these labels and shed a layer and become more true to me? People have been talking shit about me all my life, so at this point I've become like a Teflona. My mom's favorite phrase growing up was, what are people gonna say? What are people gonna think about you? Not how do you feel about it? When you do things that are uncomfortable, that becomes the norm. That gives you another higher platform to take the next jump, right? What if you fail? What if you don't get there? Every time I take a step that's courageous for me, I get one step closer to the real me. Somebody wants to practice be an orthodox Jew and fuck each other through a hole in a blanket. Great! Let them go at it. Everybody has a need down deep underneath to live free. Still talking about it, I think. It takes a lot to be vulnerable. Courageous it is to say that. That's not courageous. That's obnoxious. It's the truth. ⁓ god, I got hit again. Hi everyone, welcome to the Uncommons where we explore what it takes to defy the ordinary and build a meaningful life. I'm Parisa. Paige. And today is the 20th episode of the Uncommons. Wow, I didn't know that. Awesome. So we showed up here for 20 weeks. And I don't think it's a big deal because we have a high number of following or a lot of people streaming and all that good stuff, which that would have been nice, anyways. But I think it's a big deal for me personally because we showed up here against my inner anxiety as a very introvert person to show up in front of camera and share some things that are very deeply touching for both of us and very Personal and very honest, and we showed up here opening our hearts and sharing deeply personal things from our life with everybody, and we got judged for it. We received a lot of feedback for it from family, from friends, from people that we didn't even know, or people that are not that close to us, and we still showed up. We had a lot of reasons to not. There was fear of judgment, there was fear of vulnerability, there was a lot of moments that we would live here and I would have this vulnerability attack, if you want if there is such a term, that ⁓ my god, like I showed up and I opened up and I shared a lot of things that maybe a lot of people don't talk about publicly. And it's been a beautiful journey, regardless of where this is taking us, regardless of the numbers and data and statistics. So congratulations, sir. Thank you. For me, it was very difficult because I never wanted to be on social media. I I especially wanted my life very private. I did not want to have my children pictures or anything about my children out in in public. I don't even have a social media account. I mean you have one like Instagram account that you never check. I I never check nor, you know I don't know how many followers I have. ⁓ or I don't, but I just didn't want to I just don't ⁓ do wanna be on there. And and we had arguments over it ⁓ when you were very active on social media, like all teenagers are. And ⁓ I was in the public because of publicity or whatever it is, ⁓ the news, which I had no control over on the media, but whatever I had control over, I just didn't want it. But whatever you were on on the media about was business related, nothing personal. Yeah, yeah. So this is first time being out in public personally. Personally, yeah, yeah. So it was very awkward for me and I just did d didn't want it, didn't like it. But it's very interesting subjects because when we talk about it, it brings it to life from another point of view. And we talk about a lot of things that we've done in the past. So it gives ⁓ gives me at least another ⁓ set of optics to look at what we've done and how we've done it and maybe we could do it better. And it's it's very bonding. Don't you think? It is. It's been very bonding. ⁓ I think what makes it different for you, for me, is that first of all, you grew up in the US. I grew up in the Middle East, in Iran. So it's very different culture, very different upbringing, even though we have a lot in common, but it's very different when you grow up in the middle of the conservative, suppressive society, right? And ⁓ you grew up in Western society, and by nature I feel like you're very much more outspoken and extrovert. So, and you're not so bound by these rules of the society as much as I kind of am. So it makes it a little different for you versus me. But I think culturally the common denominator of the Persian culture, especially Persian Jewish in a way, is very conservative. Persian Muslim is like ten times more conservative. And it's not just about Persian culture. You look at Indians, you look at ⁓ all the Middle Eastern countries, you look at the so Southern Asian countries. There are certain rules of the to the society. And there are people, groups of people, that are just waiting and watching like hawks for you to step foot out of the line of what's accepted within the culture. So they can come. for you and close up on you and put you on the table and devour you and like cannibalize you and talk about you for weeks and months and years until they find a more interesting subject and somebody braver than you to break the rules and then they leave whatever remaining of you is and move on to the next subject. And it's brutal. It's really brutal. Yeah. So I've been dealing with this forever. I I'm I'm kinda used to it because just Both my my personal life and my business life have always been out of the box. I I was a black sheep of the family, I've always I married a Muslim girl, I was a jewish family. You didn't get married until I didn't get married until I was fifty. I I had a child with a woman that I wasn't married to that I wasn't in you know, we I had the child and I'm raising that child. I mean this is all cardinal sins in in in ⁓ not only i in the in the the cultural thing between the Persian Jews but also within my family. Yeah. And I'm proud of the fact that things are different and I've shown to them that it could be different and it's not bad. These guys would never imagine we don't have it in our family that there's a child out of wedlock from some woman that I wasn't even married to, was my girlfriend. I was I wasn't even dating her at the time that you know the kid was born. And I mean it was like, ⁓ my god. And I'm sure they talk shit about this. And all those people that talk shit about me, I've talked shit about me throughout the years within my family, they all know I don't give a fuck. Yeah. And I just don't. You know, I I was a doctor, but I started doing cannabis. ⁓ my God. It was my mom dealer. My mom would call me and say, ⁓ yeah, you know what so and so said and so and so said this and I'm like, Mom, you know, like I don't really give a shit. You are on the I don't give a shit side. I am more reserved. Yeah. Right? So for me it's a very different experience internally. On the outside, like I've learned to carry on because my mom's favorite phrase growing up was, What are people gonna say? What are people gonna think about you? Not how do you feel about it? Not how does it feel to you? How does it feel to you internally? What do you think? None of that. How what are people gonna say? And I grew up with that. And my mom was the black sheep of the family, believe it or not. Like compared to her time, she was the one that everybody thought, like, ⁓ there's no hope for her. Like she's done. She's a lost cause, right? Because she wouldn't obey by their rules. Even when everybody covered their hair and everybody was like so strictly Muslim, she was the one that would wear like short skirts. Like they were So against her with everything that she did. And then I was 10 times worse than my mom, and I came to the US by myself, a girl by herself, without knowing anybody, without any parental or family guidance, moving to another Western country. Like they all thought, I'm gonna get here and get pregnant within three days. You know, people would come to my mom and be like, what if she went and slept with so many guys, like with the neighbors? Would tell my mom, what if she goes to the US and gets pregnant and her life is ruined? What are you gonna do with that scarlet letter? Like a stain on our family that she did such and I'm I would just get so mad. I'm like, Mom, these people have nothing better to talk about other than my underpants, you know, like I'm just going to go to school. And they they would just like it was a nonstop amount of shit that would come just because I'm moving to another country. So we grew up with A lot of conditioning that what are people gonna think? What are people gonna say about you? How are they gonna feel about you? And God forbid, how are they gonna treat me? What if they don't treat me right? You know? So even still talking about it, I I shake. Because it's so deeply rooted and it takes a lot to be vulnerable. It takes a lot to be courageous. I mean, Brene Brown says vulnerability is the pure form of courage. She did not grow up in a Persian family. She did not grow up in Middle East. She doesn't know this group of people that are just waiting for you to do something that's unconventional, that's within the society's norms, and they just come from you, you know. They they just after you for months and weeks and and years, and they talk about you like you are this like horrible thing that happened to the society and to their culture and to their families and just like it's worse than disowning, you know, it's better to be disowned. But then it takes a lot of courage. And on the other side of that, after that year of talking shit, then you realize that, ⁓ my life didn't change. Like I did whatever I wanted. Nothing really terribly happened. And I feel a little more free and a little more like myself. And a little more connected to what I want and where I wanna go. So it's in a way very freeing, right? To show up and talk about things that other people keep so close to themselves, like so afraid of other people knowing, like what's going on in my life. And they call it privacy, they call it I'm not really that ⁓ extrovert and I keep everything inside. And then it's like being in a box and locked behind so many doors that you even forget who you are and the inside. Yeah, the masks that you put on so the other people the facade. Yeah, be being being judged, you know. Yeah, a hundred per I mean I I've I've gone this to ⁓ to the business life. I'm an entrepreneur and you take risks. High risk, high reward, you know, low risk, low reward. And I've always taken the high risk side. You know, I could have stayed as a as a doctor and made whatever it is financially and and been that. Every time I made one of those decisions made everybody uncomfortable, made my colleagues uncomfortable. Like this decisions that I make now makes my partner fucking roll around if in in his deathbed. ⁓ i you know, it's like, ⁓ my God, you're gonna do this? I'm like, yeah. So it's the same thing. Personally, I'm just so used to doing these things that people freaking out. It doesn't bother me anymore. It's just like it's the norm. ⁓ but on the other hand, so many people have come up to us and they just said, you know, my husband and I really have some issue a very similar situation and we could never talk about it to anybody. And just so so this is a lot of stuff that I think that we talk we talk about. Now it's been, you know, twenty episodes, twenty twenty weeks of this. And it's coming out. Like my Aunt called me and told me, ⁓ my god, this podcast up and everybody's like talking about it. And my friends are calling me from LA because I used to live in LA. That ⁓ everybody in LA is talking about you. And I'm like, all right, so what else is new? They used to talk about me all the time when I was there anyway. So well, you know, now I could do it from long distance. Isn't it better? one of the things that was gr is great is that when you do something like that, when you do take a leap, when you do Do things that are uncomfortable and out of your n normality and your comfort zone, and then you get there and that becomes the norm, that gives you another p higher platform to take the next jump. Right? What if you fail? What if you don't get there? Whatever there is. At the end you you'll be back at still at a higher platform than what you were before and you'll jump again until you get there. I mean any any vibration is higher than fear. ⁓ yeah. For for sure. And we we live in a fear-based world. So my question to you is that do you feel that your platform you were down here, you you you moved here by yourself with two hundred dollars as a woman, escaping through Afghanistan, you know, just fix your story, which I think you should have a podcast about it anyway, and and you're here and then got married and now have kids and this is a life that we're living, which is not normal at all. Do you feel like your platform and your baseline has changed forever? Or do you feel like that you ha you you still have to push yourself to live in that in that level and and that and that platform? No, I feel like it's changed for sure. Yeah. And it's not that it changed because I pushed myself to do something. I think it changed because every time I do something so uncomfortable. And I go against all the anxiety in me that says, I want them to like me, I want to be a good girl, I have to confirm, I have to go within the society's standard and norm. Every time I do that and I go beyond it, I go one step closer to what I want to do, how I want to live, how I feel internally, and one step further from what they told me is right. So I get one step further from the nice girl identity and one step closer to me and how I want to live. So I feel like every time I take a step that's courageous for me, that's against my anxiety, I get one step closer to the real me. You know, like your aunt calls and says, so and so said that, ⁓ they have a talk show and they talk about their private life, right? First of all, I thought everybody knew everything that we talk about anyways. You know, it wasn't anything hush hush. So we weren't that private w within our family and friends. But just the fact that she heard it from someone and they're talking about it. And this is like the older generations, like the lady I think is seven years old that's been talking. So of course they have nothing better to do, but I still get anxiety. Like I had two days of full-on anxiety. Of like, ⁓ my god, they're talking about us. And there's a part of me that says, screw everybody. Like I don't care. I've never cared. Like I want to live how I want to live. And I want to live a certain way. And I step towards it. And if it works great. If it doesn't work great, I become somebody better, right? But there is another part of me that says, Please like me, please accept me. Please say I'm good. Please say that I'm a good girl. That that part is there. Like it doesn't It's not killed, like I can't just throw it away. It exists. And for me to go despite all those feelings, do what I want to do and step into uncertainty of it could not do well, it could fail, it could do all this, all the possibilities, right? For me it's a constant battle, but I feel like every time I show up here and every time I talk about things that could have been very private and behind closed door, I feel more free. And I feel like I don't have anything to to hide behind, you know? And it's like the more layers we shed and the more doors we open, I feel like I'm more of myself. And it feels it feels very freeing. Yeah, the level of freedom in that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. Having clear conversations ⁓ with the people around us, not not not for the podcast, but in general, that you're clear and there's no hidden agenda and the that transparency I believe has a huge amount of freedom in it. Yeah. And I've been working with my coach on on that, on having boundaries and clarity. Where before I I I was okay with some ambiguity and I'm not anymore. I have no interest in any am anything ambiguous coming or going. Give me give an example. Like one of my staff members, I was wondering, well, if they're working enough. I wonder what they're doing on, you know, whatever it is. Or they do something wrong. I'm like, ⁓ it's okay, it's not a problem. And then if that happens to every single one of my staff members, and it's just it's an absolute chaos. And now I have zero tolerance for it. I just ha have have a discussion. I'm like, this is the situation, this is the reason I bring it up. I wanna have clarity on what's going on. Yeah. And if there's anything ambiguous, I make sure I I don't accept it. It is not accept and then when I'm done with it, there's nothing that I'm storing in the back of my mind or the back of my heart for me to come back to it. Yeah. And no lingering. No nothing lingering. And all this all this well, yeah, this is still going on and then something else happens and you know, twenty, fifty other things. You have five hundred things going behind you within either emotionally or in your thoughts. You know the example. I w you know I had a deal with one of my partners and the documents that he'd provided for me were not adequate. I'm like, ⁓ it's okay, I trust him. But and I'm like, Look, buddy, listen. All of our ducks are done in r in a row and I'm not comfortable. So Can you please make sure that ⁓ any this, this and this for my documents to be complete? I trust you, there's nothing about trust, I need my stuff clean. Because, ⁓ sure, I'll get it for you, no problem. You know? But if you didn't have that conversation, it would be a lingering thing. A lingering thing on the back your mind is like, ⁓ like what if something happens to him or you know, it it's just it's just an ongoing conversation that doesn't need to happen. And we convince ourselves that it's okay. It's okay. Let it go, but it never like fully goes away. So for me, it's not okay. Right? So clarity and openness and transparency is so freeing. That level of transparency that we're open about our lives to everybody else ha has brought me a a lot more calmness, I think. And I and I see it in you. Don't you think that's allowed you to be a little bit calmer or have changed your affect a little bit? Well I think courage has a rippling effect. We take one step that's courageous in a way of reaching for something that we want or something that giv gave us anxiety so much and we still go despite that and do the little thing. I feel like it expands in all aspects of our life. So I take a step to do something that was hard for me. Showing up here could be one of it. But then I find myself more courageous to have that difficult conversation with my mom. Or I find myself more courageous to stand up and say no when I feel like I can't, I don't want to. And I find myself more courageous to even with our kids set better boundaries. So it's like it goes everywhere. Like I take one step and it has a ripple effect on everything else. I I feel it. Yes. So when you ask if my baseline has changed every time I do something uncomfortable, it definitely does because it I feel like it's not about that one uncomfortable thing. It transfers to all other areas of life too, without noticing it a lot of times. Don't you think? I agree. So I I think at each at each stage of life we have two options. One is to put on a show and look so pretty and nice and give into the facade that cultural measures of success and happiness. That this is how I gotta look, this is how I gotta dress, this is what purse I have to carry, this is what car I gotta drive, this is the house I live in. Look how successful and happy I am and how good I am, right? And then there's another way of doing it, which is what feels True to me. No matter what the culture says, no matter what the society says, no matter the right or wrongs or good or bads or any of the labels. Like how can I remove these labels that have been so deeply ingrained since I was so little, especially in our highly surveillance culture that you have to be so good? How can I remove these labels and shed a layer and become more true to me? How can I be more bold? How can I be more courageous? How can I be more honest? How can I be more real? Right? These four things, like if we egg if instead of measuring every step against the cultural elements and the right or wrongs and good or bads, if we could measure it against these four values, I think our lives would be different. Like each each step might be cum in a completely different direction. But then we get caught up in the fear and in the judgments and in all that stuff. So it's a everyday navigation. I agree. So what has happened to us with your aunt's phone call is that whatever remaining of our mask was that people thought we were not has been scratched, right? So now everybody knows the mask comes off. And everybody knows every details of whatever happened in our life, if in case they didn't know, God forbid, now they know. And you are very welcome. Here you go. You have all these entertaining things to talk about for weeks to come. And the mask is gone. So whoever if you loved us for the mask, here's the mask. You can love on it, you can love it, it's all yours. If you loved us for who we really are, then we're still the same people. Nothing has changed. And we're gonna be more bold, more courageous, more honest, and more raw and real. And there's a lot more coming your way. Why do you think people care? Like why do you think some people care to judge. Where does that come from? What what is underneath of it? I think whenever you you judge or you're trying to judge is that if someone does something wrong or someone does something that is less than the social standards, then you who are living by the social standards and wearing all your masks Are better. I I think there's something down deep inside that you need the acknowledgement that you're better because compared to those guys, I'm so much better or we're so much better. It's kind of like a soothing thing that okay, I am living with my masks, but look, I could be better. Like even even though I'm suffering without even knowing that I'm suffering. But I I I can at least say I'm better than that. Yeah. But this is not just because we're Persian or Muslim or Jewish. This is very prevalent in in the Asian cultures. Yeah. The Koreans, Chinese, ⁓ Japanese. I mean they have all Indians, but in in Japan they have all these rules of honor. And if you do something like that, you're gonna break the honor, which is which is what we had when we are not within the scope or the borders of what's considered honorable or what's considered acceptable, then we're out of that box and we are out of that society that is the the the rights people society. And I think that's when you ask me like what is the what is the urge to to judge others. I honestly believe that People people by nature wanna be better than than others and they wanna find reasons why they are better than others. I think there's also another layer. What's that? I think every everybody has a need down deep underneath to live free. And they have a need to go after what they want, to live the way they want. without any societal norms and chains and balls and chains and everything that every limitation that society and culture puts on you. Everybody has a part inside of them that's been dragged in mud and beaten up and plug probably locked in a dungeon that's screaming that I really want to live free. And when they see somebody else doing that. And living free and being courageous and taking risks and putting themselves out there, they feel hurt. They feel the pain of not living that way in a way. Okay, I don't know. And making it and making it about them bad makes them feel better. Yeah, making it bad, like, ⁓ that is bad because because I c I can't do it. So I'm gonna call it bad. So to soothe myself. To soot yeah, to soothe myself. Yeah, I understand that. So I don't know if it's a combination of envy and really pain of not living the way they want to live because most of people don't live life to the fullest. You know, most of them don't dare to cross the rights and wrongs of their culture and society. Right, right. So when they see other people do, they're like, ⁓ that's so bad. ⁓ no, no, no, no, no, let me not see it, let me not think about it. Like that's horrible. But if they dare to let that down and kind of be a little more curious, there's a part of them that wants to explore too. Mm-hmm. But they just make it bad so they don't have to deal with that part. Yeah. They don't have to put themselves out there and they just stay in the box and the box feels safe. Yeah. And socially there's ⁓ there's there's there's a lot of things that I mean, in our society it it's it's a horrible if if you're gay Then is you're not accepted in our society. In in a c Persian society? Persians in general. Uh-huh. Muslims. Uh-huh. Jews. Same shit. Yep. Like it is just like you have to live a lie. You have to live this life because because you wanna be accepted in in in in that in that norm. I mean in some countries they executed you if you're gay. It's like they'll kill you. Yeah. Not only is not accepted like ⁓ you get Which is like absolutely Which is which is another form of this, right? They they just they just have these tendencies that they can't control. Mm-hmm. Right? I mean, I have a lot of gay friends and they're great people. It's just like the you know, some I think is environmental situational, some is is biological. But whatever it is, it's there. Yeah. And it's Absolutely not accepted. Like you know, people suffer for it. People suffer. I know friends and family members of mine that have been disowned because because they're gay. I know some that are are gay and they don't even talk about it because they don't want anybody to know, which is not much different than what we're talking about. And that's happening today, 2026, yeah, in the US. Yeah. We're not talking about 19. fifty six, you know, like we're talking about now. In the Western society. It's just It's crazy. Yeah. Than we're not gay, but we have half I mean if I I if I could be gay, it'd be great. Why cut out half of the society? I would have I would love to be able to I mean now that I'm married. But still c cut out half of the society. You would cut a woman No no no I wouldn't be just gay. I would be you know, I would I would I would do everything. But but w when I was single, I'm like, I you know, if I could, I would. ⁓ my god, you didn't have enough specimen to try on and like No. No cutting out fifty percent of the world? Fortunately or unfortunately, I have no gay tendencies. ⁓ but I find no fault in people that I wanna want that wanna do all of it. As long as Anyhow. You see what I'm dealing with? You see? We're talking about vulnerability, about courage, about Do you know how courageous it is to say that? That's not courageous. That's obnoxious. Degenerate. It's the truth. Courage. It's the truth. ⁓ god, I got hit again. ⁓ Excuse me. I hope everybody can take one small step towards what makes them feel free and what feels true to them and what feels really authentic to who they are without the shackles of the society, without shackles of the culture. And these little steps kind of add up and it builds up the momentum little by little. And before we know it, a year later we're just different people and we have climbed up mountains and we have moved towards the desires that we have that are one hundred percent legitimate if you're a human to have desires. Yeah, but I just don't want everybody to think that, ⁓ we're just so perfect, we could think out of the box, blah blah blah blah. You know, maybe we're absolutely wrong. Maybe maybe there is there is a beauty b we being within within that circle and having these you know, believing and loving this culture and living the truth of that culture that stu that doesn't allow you to do a whole bunch of stuff. I disagree. I think I see no beauty in it. Well that's your opinion. I but but d it doesn't mean that what we're doing is right for everybody. It's right for us. Mm-hmm. Right? And you know, this podcast is not to say, ⁓ you gotta go do this. ⁓ first of all we're nobody to tell anybody what to do, right? You know, which I'm I'm telling everybody to go do this. I'm not saying go put yourself on social media or make a podcast. I'm saying something, find something that you've been putting off because of fear and didn't have the courage to do, but you really, really want to do and you really want to go towards it and freaking do it. I I I realize that. You know, I'm I we're not here to tell anybody what to do. We're just sharing our experiences. No, I'm saying what to do. Well, but ⁓ what I'm saying is that there there's the other side of the token that maybe we're not seeing. I I just wanna be very open and real and transparent that there is ⁓ there is a beauty of having these real d these these cultural things as hard as it may be. Mm-hmm. And and there's a lot of people that are gonna say, ⁓ it's so easy what you're doing. Mhm. Right? My aunt told me, ⁓ they told me that Parissa was married before. I'm like, you know I don't even remember that. She just got married, you know, when she was a kid, you know, what whatever the fuck it was. I don't give a shit. It means nothing to me. And then my mom comes to me because she overheard the conversation. She's like, You told everybody on internet that you've been married before? And I'm like, I have been married before. She's like, so our family in Iran is watching too? I'm like, I don't know, mom. I don't know who's watching. She's like, Well, no, if they're watching, I don't want them to know. I know you don't care. I care. You can't put that on on the internet. I'm like, well, sh take a deep breath. We'll be fine. We'll live. You live. Yep. The point is that like it might need mean nothing to me because to me is no different if you had a boyfriend. And you had plenty of boyfriends. I can't believe you've had I mean a few. A few, but you know, whatever. I mean Better than two million. Listen. Better than two million, you do not go there. I'm not going there. International. Can I finish my point? No. Yes, go ahead. Is that the some people might say it is easy to just go and have sex with anybody you want or get married to anybody you want. It takes real discipline to be with one person and not have sex with anybody unt until you get married, and then you get married and you'll be with only one person in your life, and it takes a lot of discipline. True, it's true. It's true. And so that But they didn't say go have sex with anybody you want. But that wasn't the point that I think I'm just saying the other side of the token that people that don't live within some of the freedoms that we've lived with and what we call courage could be tr could be translated or could be looked at by other people that is not really courage is lack of self-control. Right? I could see that point, you know. I don't look at it that way. I you are turning into a liberal for some reason today. When did you when did you turn democrat? Let me see the other side. Maybe they think this way and I don't see look, I I I'm very democratic to be honest with you. I I I mean, not talking about today's democratic thought process and I don't want to get to politics, but I believe in every everybody. I believe everybody has a right to a to a bunch of different things as long as you don't hurt others. Right? So if somebody somebody wants to practice be a orthodox Jew and fuck each other through a hole in a blanket, great. Let ⁓ go at it. I don't give a shit. Yeah, go at it, but if I I mean, they don't mind us and we don't mind you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And vice versa, but I'm just saying is the But if somebody is not doing what they want because of fear of judgment and because of fear of being vulnerable and because of fear of what other people s would say and think, that's different from someone who thinks that they should obey by the structural values of a culture. Like that is hundred percent valid. If somebody wants to be like tied to a culture and live by it one hundred percent. Re that's what religious people do. By the way, it's it's a lie if I say I don't I don't give a shit. You know. For the most part I don't, but at one point like yeah, I do. I I you know. ⁓ but people have been talking shit about me all my life. So at this point I've been kinda like become like a Teflona. You know, ⁓ about it. But ⁓ yeah, so happy twentieth podcast. Happy twentieth podcast. Takeaway. Takeaway courage. Do what you wanna do. Be your own warrior and be your own cheerleader and take the world by the balls and not let go until you die. That's what I can take. ⁓