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Transcript

Revolutionize Your Parenting: Insights from Expert Sapna Radha Krishnan · Stuck No More Voices

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, welcome again.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: It's the Kingdom Enter podcast.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited for you to be here.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate you listening.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: It's been really fun to hear you read your reviews and your comments, so thank you so much.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: So you know me.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I always say find your voice, share your voice and market your voice.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: And you know, I always believed that wasn't just a marketing thing.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I really believed that as a mom, a dad, a wife or a husband, you really could find your voice in your home.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm so thrilled to have this guest, because Sapna Sapna is a parenting coach who works with parents of teenagers.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Come on, she empowers the parents to foster harmony.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Basically, I would say, to win the war at home with your voice.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: So will you please help me welcome Sapna Sapna.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tell them your last name.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I just didn't want to butcher it, so tell me your go ahead.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: It's four syllables.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: It's Radha Krishnan.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Radha Krishnan.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: There you go, so I said it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: When it comes to, I have a system that writes the captions.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: It'll be interesting to see how they do.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: So.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I met Sapna just a few weeks ago and I loved it.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It was just like we were having I think it was during lunch, and I was sitting, this pretty young lady kneels down and says, hey, can I be on your podcast?
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I said, sure, what do you?
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Got you told me about parents and children.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I thought let's do it.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So, sapna, thank you so much for bringing your value to my audience.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited to hear what you have to say.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: So let me get a little background from you.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: How did you get into really having a heart for parents, being able to communicate to teenagers?
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Where did that all come from?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: First of all, it started with my own relationship with my mother when I was a teen.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: We were constantly butting heads.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: I wish my mother had the tools that I had.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: That would have made her life easier.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Poor thing I made her life really really troublesome.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: A lot on her plate as it is.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I understand that now as a mother and a mother of a teen.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: The children, the way children are raised.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: When they're born they don't have to do anything.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: They cry, the milk is supplied to them, they ask for anything, they're taken care of, they're picked up.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: So in some natural way a child thinks the whole world revolves around them.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Exactly exactly.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: So, when we are constantly feeding on that, anything that happens and this is a natural part of development, that's how babies are, that's how children are they think everything is happening to them.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow, everything is happening, yeah.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: And so that's how I was as a child and as a teenager, I was thinking, oh, they're doing it to me, I'm doing it here.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: But now, as I have gone through my journey, now, first of all, I wanted to shift that dynamic with my child.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: When I had my child, and I realized I had no tools.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: There is a tool Raising what he was told.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: It is going to be intuitive.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: You will know how to raise him or you will know his whims and fancies and you will be able to cater.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I did not.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Did not.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: I thought something was wrong with me.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, bless you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was told you will know what to do.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: No, I did not and I felt horrible.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: That's when I was like, okay, I need to figure this out.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I need to figure this out.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I want to be a good mom.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Clearly, maybe something is wrong with me.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: If it is, then I'm going to figure this out.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: That's what led me to this journey of learning about seven things.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: That's good, yeah, and it's so sad.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: When I went on this journey, there is a school for everything To drive a car, you need to take lessons.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: There's a driving school to be a doctor.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: There's a school to be a teacher you need to.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: But to be a parent, wow.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Nobody teaches you that, because we've been told that you're a good mom.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: It's funny I remember my husband used to say about his dad because he had a rough childhood.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: He said, well, he didn't have a manual.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: That's fascinating that you're bringing that out, that there's not.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe there are a little more now, but there's not that many manuals.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say something.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: When you say a baby feed me, it's all around me.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: If a parent doesn't train that child, they grow up to be adults who are training me.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Feed me.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: It's definitely needs right from the get go.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: So you kind of developed your own as you studied.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: As I studied, I read a lot of books, many, many books.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Everything had a step process, like one step, two step, three step, but nothing gave me a tool to connect with my child, because every child is different.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Those steps might not, were not being applied, were not taken on by my child.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I needed to tune into my child, which I didn't know how to because I was so disconnected with myself.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: So when I tell this to my clients or parents who I work with and try to explain to them what this disconnection is, it's like this is how I explain Teresa Like, let's say, I have a headache.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Nobody told me the name for it.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Like there's no name for what's the pain in my head.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, nobody talks about the pain in my head.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Nobody says I have pain, but I feel something is up, something is wrong, and I don't know how to tell you what is wrong.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Wow, I don't have the words.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: I'm going to think I'm crazy.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: But if I just came to you and told you there is, I have a headache.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your words, you know, you understand what the word is, you understand what headache is.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: So you will be, you will suggest me some remedy.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Right, take a tablet, take a nap.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Simple, but with parenting, no words.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I was feeling helpless.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: My child was not sleeping through the night.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I felt like everybody's saying oh, you're going to enjoy this phase of life, it's going to be beautiful.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: It is not beautiful for me at all.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: I felt horrible, like what kind of a mother does not enjoy?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So was he as a baby?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Was he just like crying and then hard to put it down?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, did you.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: And I'm just curious in your studies.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: My second child went into the knee cube first, but he was a big baby.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: He had pneumonia, but when we finally got him home he would not sleep alone.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, we did the tough love let him 10 minutes, I think.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I even tried an hour and I thought this is not working.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: So do you find that?
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I know each child is different, but is there some?
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Is there some?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Was there some sort of trauma?
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe even just childbirth is traumatic.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Did you find the discovery of why, obviously that drove you to study, but did you ever figure out why your son had so much trouble?
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Not when I look back.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: He was just being his a child.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: He had his own and, like you know, he was learning about his body and I was panicking for a lot of things.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I would yell, I would feel like I'm not good enough mother because and I share this story Most of the time I've written about this in my book as well and my child was learning to party train at the age of three, four, somehow, because I have my own stories and that time I had just started working on it and I had these perfectionism stories.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I'm a recovering perfectionist so I had to get everything done, but my child was not learning at the pace that I had expected to and nobody told me.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I was just a friend.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I threw this wild tantrum at my child, who was like three or four, and there was one time that my house was quiet and I had just finished cooking or I was doing something and my house was really silent.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: So I went looking for him and he was in the bathroom.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: I heard some noise in the bathroom.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: I walk into the bathroom and my child was taking care of himself because he had an accident.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Wow, in, a three year old is taking.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And as soon as he saw me he was like, okay, my mom is going to go on a wild rage mode.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: And I saw his face, the fear on his face there.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a baby, he needs to come to me for help.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: But he was so scared of me I was like, okay, something has to change about the way I am behaving.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I will damage this child if not.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: That was a wake up moment for me, the last thing you want is your child to be afraid of you and your heart's bubbling over because they have a child.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: That's got to be one of the most amazing things of loving someone.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: You just didn't think you could love him so much, so that had to be.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: So was that like?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: It was like okay, I've got to figure this out.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: And did you continue like studying from there?
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: How did that?
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I started studying A conscious parenting is what I was really, really drawn towards.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: A conscious parenting, doesn't?
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It gives you the tools, but after you connect with your child.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: It's more about connecting before you correct your child, and that message was very pulling, because then I would know.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: It's like you have this toolbox like every parenting lesson it has a toolbox Like.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: You say this, you say that, but conscious parenting tells you which tools to take out of your toolbox.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, so that was a skill which I needed.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: And then it teaches you mindfulness.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Conscious parenting teaches you mindfulness.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: And then I went on this journey and I went on a 10 day retreat, silent retreat, which was a wake up call for me.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: You sit with deep introspection and you're clear your own psyche.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: So, that has been my journey.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: So I use the mindfulness tools, I use the techniques, the skills and then yes, it was a journey my reactivity started reducing.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: I still react now, but I get sooner.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I get back to neutrality faster, very well said.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because we can react and just waste every love connection and break it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: But if we learn to respond, which is easier to say that than not?
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: By the way, you guys, sampna doesn't have a book yelling to Zenning that you might want to pick up if this is really resonating.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: So I saw a picture of your son all grown up.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: How does he know?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: 16.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: 16.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: So what turns have you had to take and can you increase to the part where you say, hey, we can end the war at home with the patins?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: What, as he grew up into his teens, what were some of the things that you learn?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I use the.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I have taken a while of silence.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Once he turned a teenager, I keep my mouth shut.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Let him do all the talking and I listen.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I listen more because of the skills that I have practiced I listen, I listen and I listen.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: So the more I listen, the more he talks and more he tells me about what's going on in the school, what's happening with his friends, what he's feeling.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: So it's very, very tempting to open my mouth and give him, and wanting to give him, an advice.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: But then again I hold my mouth and I can hear my ego roar.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, he's going to do a mistake.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: He might, you know, fall into the wrong company.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: He's playing games or he should be studying.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: I can hear my ego roar with my teenager.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: It did much with my younger child.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: With the teenager it goes 10x wanting to shut him down because now he's going into his own authenticity, he's trying to explore being an adult.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: It's scary because it's so uncertain.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: You don't want your child to do the same mistakes you did.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: My projections start showing up.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Fear starts coming up.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: All that.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: That's phenomenal, though, to say it's definitely conscious parenting, because I wish I listened more to.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: My kids are 21 and 25 and I can look back and I can either live in regret or just say let's go on.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: They love me still and I love them.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: But you know, I think when you consciously listen someone needed to hear that with their teenager they need to stop the correcting right away.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Let them express because tell me, if this isn't true, sopna, if you don't listen when you listen, let's put this way when you really listen to your child, you're validating who they are, and kids at that age they need lots of validation that I have a voice, that I can share this with my mom.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: She's not going to flip off or shut me down and tell me to go to my room.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I know that's hard because my mom, I can remember.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, what are they doing?
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: But that's fascinating.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: So is that part that's got to be part of the conscious?
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Yes right, it's a skill.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Like you go to the gym yeah, just like you go to the gym and we lift the weight.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: So in conscious parenting, I train the parents to prepare before the moment.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: You practice before the moment like for an exam.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: You don't study when you're at the exam.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: You prepare for the exam.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: But you're ready when the moment shows up, you have all the skills, the tools.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Say yeah, I don't know how you prepare in the morning, but it's probably different.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Everyone has a different way, but I know that you know, for through the years I've had to prepare my heart every morning and have a I have a relationship with God and really just either sit, pray, listen to worship music, read some of the word, because I know that I always had to do that, even when I had to get up early in the morning.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I was on a radio host and I had to get it, oh, dark 30.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: And I said, god, I know, just this 10 minutes.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: You can multiply this, because I'm not just.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I would take my kids to work up until a certain age.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: So I was like having to work, I was on the air, yes, and I brought my kids into the studio and it's kind of like, hey, I brought you into this world, I can take you out.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Because we had this one period of I'm sure that was wrong with this one section in the early in the morning where I had my mic wide open because we had like an on air prayer time and I sometimes I wonder did I damage my son Because he was like the cranky one.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Anyway, just such gold you're sharing with.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, we should have done that better, but it's good.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: No, we parents we have the best of intentions.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: It's just that sometimes it gets lost in those translations and, no matter what, every relation is going to come with his ups and downs, and I say I've already saved up some money for his therapy when he grows up.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not for that girl.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Listen, I'm not for that.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Therapy is save my children, so let me, let me, let me present.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I could just see someone listening and they're, and this is what they're thinking.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: So now I'm too far gone.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: I've yelled at my child.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: He's 16, going on 23.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: How can I reconnect to my son or my daughter?
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: What would what would be like a beginning point for that person?
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can always connect with your child, because I have clients who are in their early you know, 30s to the 60, trying to connect with the 40 year old, because you can always go back.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Okay the tool you need to hold on is accountability, because just even as I'm doing this, there is so many times like, let's say, this happened in my house old yesterday he's 16, going on, 17 pretty soon and we were having a conversation about a class, his boxing class.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: He kept missing and the conversation got heated up.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, oh, you always do this.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: You did this when I joined my swimming classes.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I love swimming, but you push so hard, you hate it when I miss it.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: You went on a rant and it still scares me.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, I could feel my ego wanting to defend myself and say, oh, I wanted the best for you because I love you.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: I stopped a moment and I said I'm so sorry, wow, sorry, child, because then even I was a new mother.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I did not know, I thought I was doing right, but I did.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Clearly I did not.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: I'm better now and I'm so sorry.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: That was hard.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: There is, I'm not going to lie.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it is about taking accountability.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the moment I took accountability, the energy shifted between me and him.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: And don't you think accountability is another way of saying, hey, be responsible, teresa, for yourself.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: On a good day, I do all the management.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Especially as they grow older, they're going to make choices and if they know they can come back to a mother who's let them talk, they probably tell me if I'm wrong.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: They'll probably come back quicker.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Let's say they went out and did something with their friends and they are ashamed of it now.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: But because you opened up that line of communication and because you love them what a testimony is they come back and you love them.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: You may correct them and say give me your iPhone for the week, something like that, but because you validated them, that is.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I hope someone is just getting a ding ding because that is beautiful.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: And do you hear Sopna?
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: She's not.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: You're really humbling yourself to say, hey, humble yourself with your child, be accountable, be responsible for your emotions.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: That's beautiful.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: It is hard when it comes to being a parent, teresa, because we have a control, a leash over what we say.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: When it comes to our neighbors, our bosses, our siblings, maybe even or, you know, our partner, we have this leash over what we say.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: But somehow, when it comes to our children, we have this top down approach and we think children owe us in some unconscious way.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: That we feel they owe us.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: So we go on this, we unleash what we need to say and that creates that disconnection.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but this is the most important part.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: See, you can leave, you can shift houses, you can even divorce your partners, but when it comes to your child, you're there.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: You're stuck with them.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: They're a part of you.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, so beautiful.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that's just.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I can't tell you.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Someone needs to rewind this and listen to that again.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm going to change and go and tend to pivot.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I'm always fascinated by this and we're in the same mastermind.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: So how do you go about someone?
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: This is a totally different subject, guys.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I'm always into marketing your voice.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: So how do you?
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: You got to have clients.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I'm just curious.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: How do you get your voice out, to be known, to develop a brand?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I'm just curious, how has that been for you?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: I tap into my pain points when I was raising my child, okay, and then nobody spoke about it, like I said, they told us oh it's beautiful, you enjoy your child's childhood.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Not enjoying that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: So I just speak my truth of the pain, like he was not sleeping for the end time, struggling trying to think I was doing something wrong as a mom.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I just share my truth and most parents they connect to it.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Most mothers connect because they have.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: They're in the same environment where you're told you should be loving your child, no matter what's happening with you.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: So you're authentic.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Your superpower is your authenticity.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: That's beautiful.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: So someone again.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to, if that's okay.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I love to see how people market their different voices, so you shared your voice often.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Is that like on Instagram, tiktok, facebook?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Where was the main place where you shared your voice?
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Instagram.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I go share my stories on Instagram.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: I'm very raw and open, that's okay.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: And that's probably why I draw as people do you, girl?
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I've come across some of your videos and pause people, not just because I I was like I want, well, that's good, you know, it's like, oh okay, Anyway, sorry, I always like to talk about sharing, finding your voice, sharing your voice and marketing your voice.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: So have have you found that the masterminds we just go to the same mastermind guys, so we're just kind of having a talk.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Do you find that the mastermind has really helped you?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Which is curious because I've just joined the last few months.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, because I meet people like you.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people, authentic people who are rooting for each other.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, we love that in a community and we need that everywhere, being a bit human.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: So I saw you put up I think it was your 32nd, maybe from the last mastermind.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: They give us 30 seconds guys, and we basically have to say who we are on their stage and then we share our superpower.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: And was that from the last, not this past one, but one before.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so beautifully.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: You guys try saying what you do in 30 seconds and then add a superpower to it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: So that was really.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I just want to commend you on that.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: It was so good, so beautiful.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: So I just I appreciate you that you have something very valuable and you use your voice, and obviously you use your voice in your book yelling to Zenning.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Why don't you tell us a little bit about what's in your book?
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: This book is again all the mistakes that I did.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: And I wish somebody had helped me with it and I'm hope and this is my wish that a mother picks this up and sees herself in this book and doesn't feel alone in it or shame in it.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: That's why I share my stories very vulnerably, very openly yeah, even a time when I forgot my child at Costco.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: That's a story you need to catch.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, come on.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I want to hear that story.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I love stories.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: What happened?
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: My child four or five years old.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: I go to Costco, all happy having fun with my child.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: He's talking in the back seat of my car and we're talking, so I park it Costco apart and have you ever encountered the situation where it's over?
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: You park and there's a space right in front of you, so you try to pull the car up front so it's easier for you to leave.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, there was a spot right in front of my parking spot, so I moved the car up front in the Costco.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: There was a lady waiting for that spot.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't see her and she got mad at me.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: She shouted, yelling at me and she drove off.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: That was it.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: I was hooked that's the word we use.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Right, we get hooked meaning what your thoughts are running your all anxious because something happened.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: I bought into the story that she put on me that I was being you was projecting, projecting, you were trying to.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I bought into that story.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: So I was hooked.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Meaning my thoughts was like how could you do this?
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: You should have been more mindful.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: What would she think of me?
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: How could you be so stupid?
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: You know, fast.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Then it went into oh, she's a crazy lady, you know.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: My mind was just it was going really fast and I was feeling like I had done something wrong.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: The shame was all the stories.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So I finished through all this.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I finished my grocery shopping with my child in the car, and still my mind looping, sure.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: So I come back to the car, I load my car up, my mind still going fast.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, I start the car, I move and I hear the loud thud on the back of the car, I stop immediately and turn my son.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I had forgotten to put him in the back seat of my car.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Oh bless you.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, anyway, it could happen to anyone.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: But bless you, Gosh.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: This.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: He is the most important in my life.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: In my life, Like I would go in front of.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: It still tears me up.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: When I listen to this story, I tell this to myself I can go in front of a truck, in front of to save my child, and I had forgotten to put him in the back seat of my car.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Bless you so he's so rattled, yeah, wow.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I ran back, put him in the car seat and I started bawling oh bless you.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Out of the shame and the guilt, like how could I be so self-insured?
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, bless you, go ahead, you can get your mind.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can go into horror stories of parents who just forget they have their child or they think their husband, and something shifts in your mind which, speaking of what you are teaching parents that one feelings are okay, but I love how you really go inward to reflect.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: There's healing in that, there's getting stuff out and communicating it to yourself or with someone.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, whatever it is.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: I always think whether you're selling cars or trying to help parents, there's always a mind game that you got to make sure there's some personal development that I'm sure you probably spend the first part of your clients, which is really kind of making sure they got this worked out.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Is that about right?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, First they need to get clarity.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: Most parents come to me wanting to fix their teenagers, which is, yeah, they're pushing you teenagers.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: You know the children come with this invitation there is for you to do look into yourself and if you are open to this invitation, you take this invitation.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this journey is going to awaken you and have an amazing impact on your relationship with your child.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: So, again, we start with that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: They come to me with that Okay, they see their projections, their expectations, their judgment that's blocking their connection with their children.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Once they see that and they release it, it weighs open.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: You're seeing your child for who it is.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: They are and your child picks up on it and there's connection.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: And then the connection is just like the tidbits of it.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: These are minute parts.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: What to say, what to do?
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: You know, all those things are very minute.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: That's just tools.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I can be a testimony, sapna, of my kids.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Really they're upset with my husband.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: He kind of had a messy marriage.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: There were some issues there and I can be a testimony that since my husband passed he passed June of last year from cancer they have come back.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I feel like I have.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: It was so hard.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: They were avoiding us.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: They had issues with their dad, rightly so.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: On many times their dad just didn't know how to validate them.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: That's why when you say listening, oh, I know how powerful that is, but let me be a testimony.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: If you think you Lost it if you're listening, you think, well, it's too far gone.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: They're in their 20s or they're in the.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: You can still restore that Communication and I'll tell you what love them, where they are, and you'd be amazed how they come running back to you, validate them, listen to them.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I don't think.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah, this is for teenagers, but, like I think you said, this can go on, for your clients are like my kids, in the 30s.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: But, yes, you still can use these, these tools of consciousness, going inward, reflecting, getting your junk cleaned up, so you can better love your child, your adult child.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Is that about right?
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and starts with working on yourself first.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, activated your lock, you're gone.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: That moment is gone if something is activated.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Did you say, as you say I've done, saving up money for my kids therapy?
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I had therapy the most part of this year.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I had a neuropsychal facilitator, so it was definitely reflecting and inward I don't know if you're familiar with neuropsychal the the tenants of that of how your brain really matches up to what the Bible says about renewing your mind Replies.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: You know trauma sticks in your body, you know getting it out of your body and are Reconceptualizing a new memory.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: So I'm sure, in a way, in your own way, you have to do that with your parents before we can talk about Johnny's.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: They're ready to kick out the door.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: So yeah, in some ways it makes me.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: I always say don't live and regret Teresa, and that's something I struggle with because I well, I don't think I was the parent.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I wish I could have validated my kids more.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I did the best I could in the marriage that was in, but I am so excited For what you're offering now someone to get a hold of you, how, what's the best way to touch base with you?
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: They can follow me on Instagram that's subna rad coaching or they can look up my website and I can give all your listeners a free go-to guide for the team.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: I would love to share that and my website.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, say RADcom.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Wonderful.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: That's an easy way to remember and I'm sure she answers or DM.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: So if that slips, you guys, I'll put it in the show notes too, so you can, so you can be aware of that.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: So I have a link down below subna, and we're really I'm with a group that's really Fascinated, and so when you talk personal development, we're all on it.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: It's a group, it's an alliance where we teach personal and professional development leadership.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: We also offer stages for them with the Radiant Speaker Academy.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: So just want to take this time this Friday at 7.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Y'all, I'm gonna team up with my friend, michelle, tough virgin.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: We're gonna just have coffee and talk about life and can you really Get paid to help women grow?
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: So I just want to put a plug in for that.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Wow, subnam, so glad we got to have some time.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: You have really inspired me and I know you've inspired our listeners.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: So, hey guys, do us a favor, write a review or share this with someone.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe you know a parent.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: It's really struggling right now.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Please Share this and get in touch with stop and so she can even give you some tools.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: And don't be afraid, sometimes it has to start with yourself.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go bless you and Hank, thanks for listening to this edition of the Kingdom Mentor Podcast.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: I'll talk to you in the next episode.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.