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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: You Can Handle It — Period · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Emily a body here. You are listening to
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: five minute Friday from Hurdle. You can handle it? Can
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I tell you? I have been repeating that to myself.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I won't even just say every day this week, every
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: hour this week.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Someone said something to me about an eclipse or a
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: moon or who knows what. I'm not in tune with
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, but this week has thrown me
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: for a total loop.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I am on the roller coaster. It is a lot.
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  Speaker 1: On Tuesday, I felt as though I got hit over
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  Speaker 1: the head with imposter syndrome and negative thoughts and it
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  Speaker 1: was so persistent and I could not get out of
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  Speaker 1: this cycle.
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  Speaker 2: That felt just so rude and there were tears.
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  Speaker 1: It was everything you're following, And so I did on
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Tuesday the things that show me that my breathwork and
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: mindfulness practice.
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  Speaker 2: Is starting to pay off.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: In that, I asked myself, what is it that I
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: am capable of doing in this moment, even though I
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  Speaker 1: just felt like I was completely incapable. The first thing
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  Speaker 1: I did was text a friend to see if she
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: wanted to join me at one of my favorite yoga studios,
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  Speaker 1: Lines Den the following morning for a class. I have
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: navigated some really tough stuff there in the past, most
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: notably it feels like yesterday, but it was actually eight
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: years ago my last real breakup.
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  Speaker 2: I remember going there.
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  Speaker 1: After little to no sleep, feeling like a total shell
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  Speaker 1: of my self and showing up on that matt exactly
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: as I am, and it felt so therapeutic. So to
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  Speaker 1: this day, when I am struggling with something, I automatically
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  Speaker 1: think to go there.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: So I made a date to do that.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I got up from my computer, which in my line
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: of work, being someone that works for myself is a privilege.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: But in doing that and actually sending a couple of
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  Speaker 1: emails that said I'm taking a personal day, I'll get
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: back to you tomorrow, I really realized how almost everyone
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: expects me to be available all the time, and I
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: have taught them to treat me that way. I am
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: widely available. That is a conversation for another day. I
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  Speaker 1: then made it a priority, despite not wanting to really
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  Speaker 1: talk about how I felt, to reach out to a
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  Speaker 1: friend and ask if they would meet me for a
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  Speaker 1: walk after work. And God bless my dear friend Willie.
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  Speaker 1: We met in the park and took a walk and
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  Speaker 1: then ended up sitting down and having a glass of wine,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: and that one I turned into a very nice dinner,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: which then led us to a very nice cup of gelato,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: and I just let it go, like complete meltdown, waterworks,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: the whole thing. And to be able to express what
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  Speaker 1: I was feeling and dissect the thoughts in my head
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  Speaker 1: and be with someone that makes me feel so seen
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  Speaker 1: and so safe, it was truly priceless. And I am
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: the type of person that knows that where there's a
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: will and where there's a why, there's a way. And
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  Speaker 1: I don't like feeling like how I did on Tuesday.
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  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. That
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  Speaker 1: doesn't mean that intrusive thoughts aren't going to come in.
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  Speaker 1: But what I know to be true is that I
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  Speaker 1: have the opportunity then to react and then to respond.
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  Speaker 1: And so I did those three things that certainly helped.
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  Speaker 1: And the next day I woke up and I said,
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  Speaker 1: today is a new day, and I reminded myself that
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  Speaker 1: every single moment it doesn't need to be the start
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  Speaker 1: of a new day, but every single line is an
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: opportunity to start over. And it can be starting over
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  Speaker 1: as simple as within a workout. Right, maybe you are
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: doing something a little bit excuse me half ass. Right,
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  Speaker 1: you're at the gym, you're lifting weights, you're not really
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  Speaker 1: following through with the reps counts and the sets and whatever.
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  Speaker 1: Any second you can be like, you know what, I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to recommit. So there's that, But there's also an
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  Speaker 1: opportunity every single second and every single day to recommit
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  Speaker 1: to yourself and show up for yourself like you would
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  Speaker 1: show up for a loved one, because you need to
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  Speaker 1: be your number one priority. Can you tell that I'm
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  Speaker 1: saying this so that I can listen to it back
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  Speaker 1: and really remind myself of these things later you can
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  Speaker 1: handle it. I said to myself, you can handle it,
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  Speaker 1: and so maybe this five minute Friday is the pep
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  Speaker 1: talk you needed to remind you that you too can
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  Speaker 1: handle it. Hard things happen, Hard moments happen, Devastating thoughts
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  Speaker 1: and feelings they happen. But you have managed to get
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: through all of the hard moments up until this point,
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  Speaker 1: some of which I'm sure you wondered if you would
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  Speaker 1: survive in the first place. And remember that you can
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  Speaker 1: continue to do that moving forward. My prompt for you
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  Speaker 1: this week. What's your pep talk motto. I'm leaning into this,
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  Speaker 1: you can handle it right? What do you tell yourself
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  Speaker 1: when times get tough? And how do you cope with this?
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  Speaker 1: What are your coping strategies? By articulating these things now,
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  Speaker 1: if you haven't been able to articulate them before, you
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  Speaker 1: can then put them into practice when it feels like
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  Speaker 1: life is lifing the next time. And now let's answer
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: a listener question. Hey, Emily, you asked for a listener question,
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  Speaker 1: so here I am dropping in your inbox. One thing
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  Speaker 1: I've been struggling with for years, longer than I'd like
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  Speaker 1: to admit, is finding direction at work. I don't know
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  Speaker 1: what inspires me. I don't know what I'm good at.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to do, and therefore
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  Speaker 1: I don't have a plan. I set annual goals for
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: my personal life, financial, fitness, running, hobbies, et cetera. But
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  Speaker 1: this feels bigger than goal setting. I don't even know
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  Speaker 1: what goals to set because I don't know where I'm going.
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  Speaker 1: What tools can I use to find that direction so
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  Speaker 1: I can break the cycle of going through the motions?
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  Speaker 1: Hey Nicole, I understand where you're coming from. I feel
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  Speaker 1: you on this, and first and foremost, you need to
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  Speaker 1: know that you are certainly not the only person that
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  Speaker 1: feels this way. I want you to make a list
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  Speaker 1: of the things that bring you joy. And I hear
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  Speaker 1: you when you say that I don't know what inspires me.
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  Speaker 1: But I challenge that and say, maybe you don't know
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  Speaker 1: yet what inspires you. Maybe you need to give it
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  Speaker 1: some space. You need to give yourself the time to
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  Speaker 1: sit down and think about not only what brings you joy,
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  Speaker 1: but what excites you. What have you seen in the
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: past that inspires you? Who is doing something that you
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  Speaker 1: think that is cool? Right, because we have the opportunity
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  Speaker 1: to garner inspiration from other people, that doesn't mean that
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  Speaker 1: we should just do something because it looks cool. But
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  Speaker 1: maybe that's a jumping off point. Maybe that's the opportunity
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  Speaker 1: for you to say, this looks really cool. Maybe I
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  Speaker 1: could be good at doing something like this. Let me
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  Speaker 1: take the time to learn more about it. Right, So,
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  Speaker 1: when you start to break it down, and instead of
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  Speaker 1: just being like, what do I want to do with
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  Speaker 1: my life, ask a smaller question, what is it that
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  Speaker 1: brings me joy? Who's doing something that looks cool to me,
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  Speaker 1: How can I then do the research, kind of dig
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  Speaker 1: in here and do a little recondency if that could
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  Speaker 1: feel like a good thing for me too. Also, be
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  Speaker 1: easy on yourself, because you don't need to figure it
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  Speaker 1: all out right now. You don't need to figure out
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  Speaker 1: exactly where you're going in this minute, in five years
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  Speaker 1: and ten years down the line. But by doing this
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: initial self inquiry, by asking yourself, what is it that
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  Speaker 1: brings me joy?
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  Speaker 2: What is it that inspires me?
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  Speaker 1: Those lists can help you start to identify things that
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  Speaker 1: you can begin to integrate to research, to really dive
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  Speaker 1: into in the short term.
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  Speaker 2: You know something that I did when I was in between.
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  Speaker 1: Jobs a handful of years ago, not even a few
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  Speaker 1: years ago now, was that I sat down with different
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  Speaker 1: people once a week and they were all in different
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  Speaker 1: occupations and just wanted to learn about what it was
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  Speaker 1: that they did. And these would be friends of friends,
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  Speaker 1: someone like a man that works on Wall Street as
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  Speaker 1: a stockbroker, or someone that was in marketing at Nike,
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  Speaker 1: And I bought them a cup of coffee and I
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  Speaker 1: learned about what it was that they did. And I
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  Speaker 1: thought that was a really great exercise just to broaden
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  Speaker 1: my knowledge. So I understood what it meant to be
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  Speaker 1: someone that works on Wall Street in finance or someone
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  Speaker 1: that works in marketing at Nike. Right, And it might
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  Speaker 1: not be your chosen career, like you might know that
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  Speaker 1: you don't want to go into finance, but learning about
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  Speaker 1: all of these things allows you the opportunity to know
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  Speaker 1: what is a no and oh for you? Right. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: articulating what is a no, what is a no for
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  Speaker 1: you helps you get closer to what's a yes. So
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  Speaker 1: start there, let me know how it goes. And to
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  Speaker 1: anyone listening to this, if you have a listener question,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: let me answer it in the next five minute Friday.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Send us an email with the subject listener question to
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Hello at hurdle dot us. Again, that email is Hello
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: at hurdle dot us. I'm over at Emilyabody and at
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys next time.