Latest / The Manifestation Station / Ep 31. The Hidden Power of Gratitude: Transform Your Life by Quitting Complaining

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Ep 31. The Hidden Power of Gratitude: Transform Your Life by Quitting Complaining · The Manifestation Station

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You're listening to the Manifestation Station podcast.
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I'm your host Holly Edwards and together we can help create your magic.
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Hi everyone and welcome back to another episode of the manifestation station.
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I am your host Holly Edwards and this is the podcast where we get real about energy,
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about mindset and creating a life that feels just as good as it looks.
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So I'm your host Holly Edwards, your go-to manifesting coach,
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your manifesting bestie, your biggest hype girl, your cheerleader,
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helping you on your journey to becoming magnetic.
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You know I love that word. If you've listened to the last few podcasts,
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you'll know that my word for the moment is magnetic. And that is what I'm choosing to be right now.
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And today's topic is one
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I think we all need to
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hear whether you are having the best week of
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your life or maybe you're feeling stuck in that
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cycle of meh this episode
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will change the way you think about something that you
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probably do a lot without even
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noticing and that my friends is complaining
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oh we do love to complain don't we
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and you know what there is a time and
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place for it however the more
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research that I have done even just in
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my own life but actual hard scientific
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research as well complaining is
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having a detrimental effect on
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your life your health your manifesting
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ability your mindset your energy it
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is absolutely mind-blowing what
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it can do and actually we're going to look at it today and I'll
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give you some examples as well of real people
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within my world and you may notice this
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as well as you're listening to the episode you might start thinking about
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people that you know maybe in your family or friends or maybe it's you that
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you recognize some of these traits in people that complain and it's very easy.
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When you're complaining to get in a cycle of just going round with complaints.
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And being in victim mode and complaint complaint complaint and.
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After a while, all you can see are things to complain about.
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As you know, where your focus goes, your energy flows, and that can really bring down your mood.
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And here's the truth of it.
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Complaining is not harmless. In fact, it's not just bad for your vibe.
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It's bad for your body. it's bad
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for your brain it's bad for your cells but
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do not worry never fear
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this isn't about guilt tripping anyone or
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getting you to realize oh my goodness this is terrible I've complained about
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something today complaining is also real life but this is taking stock of our
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thoughts and actually recognizing that when can we maybe choose another path
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rather than complaining This episode,
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it's about awareness, it's about empowerment and choosing a new way.
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Which let's face it, the new way, the new way always leads to gratitude.
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And it's the easiest, most life changing shift that you can make.
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But let's take it back and let's start with the basics.
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Like why, why do we even complain? you know
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life can be tricky you know let's
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not pretend life can definitely be tricky
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and I think sometimes letting off a
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bit of steam having a good old run having
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a good old complaint it feels like a release doesn't
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it so if someone cuts you
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up in traffic pulls in front of you or maybe your boss was rude to you in front
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of people maybe your friend is ghosting you or maybe you put your jeans on and
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your jeans feel too tight you have a good old complain about what you've eaten
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how you can't fit in your lovely pair of jeans.
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And complaining, it can just feel like we're processing what has happened, aren't we?
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We're complaining about that person that cut us up in traffic and you think, how dare they?
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How dare they? Maybe you're, I don't know, giving them evils in the mirror and
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you're like, oh, I'm putting your fist up and going, oh, or maybe even worse.
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Maybe you're having a little swear or something like that. And it does,
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it feels like a release, doesn't it? But when we complain, our brain releases
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stress hormones, especially cortisol.
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Now, I feel like everybody's talking about cortisol at the moment.
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How to lower your cortisol, how to exercise in a way that it doesn't raise your cortisol.
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Cortisol can hold on to body fat. It's a stress hormone, which isn't good for many areas of your body.
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And cortisol is what's known as the fight or flight chemical.
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And it's the one that our
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body uses to prepare for danger so
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back in the day your body used to release cortisol
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as part of a fight or flight mode so that
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was it was survival mode it was you're being
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attacked or chased by a bear so you go into flight or
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fight mode and that would release cortisol but
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this is what happens when we complain so in
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reality now you're you're going into fight or flight
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mode you're actually just moaning about your commute or maybe
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that your phone battery has died or that maybe your partner
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didn't do the washing up the right way
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the way that you wanted it done and so we are constantly living in this fight
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or flight mode we are constantly releasing the stress hormone cortisol we are
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flooding our body with cortisol because we are finding many things in the modern
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world and in your everyday routine,
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things to complain about.
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Maybe your train was late. Maybe you were late for work. You spilled the tea
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in the morning down your new shirt.
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It made you late for work. Whatever you're complaining about,
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it's releasing the cortisol and it's leaving you in this constant state of stress.
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And complaining and being in this constant state of stress, you'll find that it becomes your normal.
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So actually, this heightened state, this level of cortisol that is risen in
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your body becomes your normal.
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So the complaining triggers the same fight or flight response as real danger.
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And when that happens, your body gets stuck in survival mode.
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So let's break it down. What does this do to you over time?
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Chronically high cortisol from constant complaining or stress can lead to real,
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very, very real health conditions.
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Higher blood pressure weakened immune
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system increased risk of heart disease
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brain fog and memory issues trouble sleeping fatigue and burnout and general
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low mood if you think about it when you're complaining you're never complaining
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from a state of joy or a state of happiness it's like it induces a sense of misery.
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And I do get it. There are times, and I'm going to go through this with you
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soon, but there are times when we probably do need to have a little complaint
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or at least what I like to say, we should actually rename it.
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I should have thought about this before starting the episode.
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We should rename it from complaining to just having like a mini release.
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So I quite often do this. I'll maybe speak
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to my sister on the phone and something might
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be bothering me and it's something that is kind
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of causing me complaint but rather than
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just moaning moaning about it and constantly complaining
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about it what I try and do is that
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we'll give each other maybe 10 minutes and we say look something
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something is bothering me today do you mind
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if I just have a little mini rant get it off my chest and
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then I'm going to flick my switch so I might go okay
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so right so this happened at work and this person said this and
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this really upset me and I thought this and so I
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said this but it's really sitting with me and blah blah blah and I
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get it all off my chest and I put a time limit
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on it I'm like I'm just gonna give myself 10 minutes 10 minutes
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complaint about that and then and then I go right how can I change it how can
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I reframe this how can I give this this episode or this event some gratitude
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or how can I just feel a bit of sense of calm about it and what I try to do
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is that once I've had my mini rant.
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I kind of let it go, let it go into the universe.
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I try and release my grip on this feeling of being kind of all riled up and
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I just kind of try and release it and let it go.
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It doesn't mean that maybe that problem won't go away, but the way that I deal
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with it does, and I'm kind of trying to induce a sense of calm.
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So when we're looking at this chronically high cortisol, it's like your body
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is on permanent high alert.
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Think about that for a minute. Even though there's no real threat to you,
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like going back in the day, being chased by a bear, trying to stay alive,
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there's no real threat to you, but your body is yet still staying on a permanent high alert.
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And here is something really wild.
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Researchers have found that even listening to complaining for too long can damage
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neurons in part of the brain responsible for problem solving and emotional regulation.
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Now, I mean, that is wild. That is absolutely wild.
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But that also can lead to, that will make you less creative,
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less calm and less resourceful.
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I mean, if you think about it, I can think of someone very specific who has
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been in my life in a close circle.
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And they're not with us anymore, but they lived in a constant state of complaining.
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And all of their conversation, all of their life, their daily routine kind of thrived.
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I don't want to say thrived, but it lived and it moved upon just a circle and a series of complaints.
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Everything there was to complain about. It was health issues.
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Now I do realize if you've got chronic health issues or health issues in general,
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it can be so easy to complain when you feel rubbish You want to tell everyone you feel rubbish.
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I totally get that. But this specific person was always complaining about everything
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in life, even to the point where every meal.
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Every sandwich they bought, every drink they had, the tea wasn't warm enough.
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It's the worst tea they've ever had.
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Oh, those chips, I don't know, they were cold or every tiny little detail.
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Oh, that person in the shop they said this it
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didn't make me angry they didn't have this in the shop I
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couldn't buy this everything and then it was health
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issues it was sleep issues it was issues with
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what was on the telly everything the weather
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if it was sunny it was too hot if it was rainy it
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was too wet and it was difficult to be
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around when you're with someone who is that's quite an
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extreme that was quite an extreme person but
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when you're around someone who is constantly complaining it can
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really affect your mood just think back think
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back to maybe when you've been around someone who is complaining
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a lot a lot a lot a lot and
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it can really affect your mood and that can
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lead to you having actual damage so these researchers let me say that again
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these researchers found that even listening to complaining for too long can
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damage the neurons in the part of the brain responsible for problem solving
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and emotional regulation.
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That's mad, isn't it? So we want to get away from complaining.
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We want to make sure that we are living in more of a calm state than we are
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in a stressful complaining state.
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That means the more that we complain, the more we train our brain to look for
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what's wrong instead of what's right.
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And I think that example of the person that I was saying about in my life,
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that's a classic example.
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I think they had genuine reasons to complain. They were in quite poor health.
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But the more that they complained, they were training their brain to look for
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what's wrong instead of what's right. So that's why in their everyday life,
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they would constantly find things to complain about.
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And I want you to think for a moment, think about either how you are in response
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to issues or events that cause you stress.
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Are you one to constantly complain or are you one to be a little bit more optimistic?
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But also think about sometimes in your life, think about the people in your
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life or the people you spend time with and think, is there anyone in your life
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that you can see constantly complains?
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And then look at their life and think, are they happy?
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Because you'll find that people that complain a lot, a lot, a lot,
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a lot, can be kind of less happy, less calm, less peaceful in their life.
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And I think it's a real reflection to how big an issue this is,
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but also how big an issue this is that can be solved.
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This can be treated and you can rewire your brain to become a more calm,
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peaceful person in the way that you deal and respond to issues that happen in your life.
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So negativity becomes a habit and like any habit, it grows stronger the more that you feed it.
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So if I'm in a time in my life, I might be on a job or something's going on
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specifically, I work on contracts, on film and TV contracts, I film around the world.
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Whilst it's living the dream, it can also be quite a stressful industry to work in.
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The hours are intense. We quite often laugh in our industry.
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If you are one of my industry followers, you'll be nodding your head and going, yes.
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Is that sometimes the stress on the jobs feels so huge that we have to remind
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each other and we say we're not saving lives. We're not doctors.
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But sometimes the stress of making, I designed the hair and makeup for film
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and TV. So everything, everyone has to look amazing.
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If people have injuries or things like that, they have to be precise and they have to be accurate.
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And sometimes it can feel like the job is really stressful. We stop and we say
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we're not saving lives and we have to put it into perspective.
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So if there is a time where I'm kind of going through certain circumstances
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where I'm finding myself to be quite stressed and I can suddenly realize that
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I am in a cycle of complaining or maybe it's your relationship.
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Maybe you're in a point at the moment in your relationship where you feel like
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you're constantly complaining.
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When it's me and I'm in that situation, I really sometimes have to stop myself
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about how I thought my complaining was just being realistic, but it's not realism.
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It's like a form of disempowerment. You are disempowering yourself by complaining. And.
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You cannot manifest the life of your dreams while you're rehearsing your disappointment.
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If you are noticing disappointment, speaking about disappointment,
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complaining, complaining about situations around you, people, money, relationships,
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you are rehearsing disappointment and you cannot manifest from that space.
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Everything shifts for me when I start practicing real gratitude.
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So when I'm stuck in a rut of complaining
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I go back to bare basics and
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I take myself back to a place of real gratitude
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this is not performative it's not trying to
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pretend to be grateful it's not forced but it's genuinely looking for the good
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instead of the bad and I have I'd say I have retrained my brain to look for
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the good instead of the bad in most situations it doesn't mean that I manage it 100% of the time.
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There are still times where, I don't know, people might cut me up in traffic
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or pull out on me and I'll be really frustrated. I'll be like, oh, what are you doing?
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What are you doing? I might say it out loud or just, you know,
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put your hands up in the air and go, oh.
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But most of the time, I try and see the good. Now, I actually think my partner,
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sometimes it frustrates him when I look for the good in everything.
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But you know what? If that's me being a little bit more optimistic or bringing
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a little bit more light to a situation than I do,
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sometimes if someone is rude to me in a shop one
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of my pet hates is bad
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customer service or bad manners in
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a shop where someone can't even say hello to you if
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you're at the checkout or they just they
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don't look at you they're rude they just kind of there's
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no warmth or service there at all
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and I actually think it's bad manners it's my biggest pet peeve but
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I try it more often than not to look for the
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good and sometimes I say to my partner do you
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know what maybe they've had a really bad day maybe their partner's broken
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up with them maybe their dog's just died
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you know I really try and think you know maybe they're having a really bad day
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and maybe they're not trying to be rude to me or even if I feel like they really
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are trying to be rude I'm like do you know what maybe they're really going through
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something in their life right now that's what I think frustrates my partner
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sometimes you know like someone might cut him up in traffic like I oh, you know.
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Yeah, maybe their partner's left them.
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And then he looks at me, he rolls his eyes and he's like, oh,
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maybe they're just an idiot.
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Maybe they're just an idiot. I'm like, maybe they are. But do not let that person
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or that idiot or whatever you want to call them, don't let them affect your energy.
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Do not let them affect your day. Don't let the person at the checkout who is and rude,
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do not let them have an effect on your psyche, on your day, on your manifesting
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abilities, because ultimately, if they are affecting your energy,
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it is affecting what you then attract into your day.
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When I shift that energy, it is immediate.
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It is an immediate feeling of calmness.
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It's an immediate feeling of taking back the control of that situation,
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of that energy and saying, I'm not going forward with this negative energy today.
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I'm not going forward with these constant complaints today. You just let it
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go. Your body feels lighter.
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My day then feels easier. and I end up feeling magnetic again.
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So the antidote for complaining is gratitude.
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Gratitude dissolves negativity. So if you are in a place of complaining at the
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moment, take yourself back, give yourself the antidote and have some gratitude.
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When you practice gratitude, your body starts to heal. It lowers cortisol.
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Gratitude lowers cortisol. It boosts serotonin and dopamine.
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These are your feel-good chemicals. This is proven. This is just what gratitude can do.
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Remember, gratitude is at your fingertips at this very moment.
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So at this very moment, you can lower your cortisol. You can boost your serotonin and your dopamine.
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Giving gratitude improves your
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sleep it strengthens your immune system
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this is the one that blows my mind they did some research and
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some studies in America and they
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studied some people and they did these tests on giving gratitude and they researched
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and they concluded that giving gratitude actually improves your immune system
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giving gratitude improves your health And you know what?
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It is so simple to do. So if you're listening to this now, maybe you're unwell
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or you're feeling like you're in a negative space and you're complaining about something in your life.
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You could give gratitude. You could start giving gratitude today and you can improve your health.
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You can improve your mood boosters, your chemicals, your lowering of your cortisol.
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The other thing it also does by giving gratitude, it increases your energy and
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emotional resilience. So you'll be able to function better.
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You'll be able to deal with situations because your emotions will be more regulated
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and you'll have more energy.
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You'll feel like you can attack and achieve
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the things that you want to in your day just by
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giving gratitude and here is the
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part I love it's a little bit of a sciencey part
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but here's what I love gratitude activates the
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prefrontal cortex this is
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the part of your brain responsible for creativity
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for vision for planning and
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for calm so aka this is
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our part of the brain that we need for
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manifesting the prefrontal cortex
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you are igniting your creativity
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your vision your planning and your calm ready for
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manifesting just by giving gratitude gratitude
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literally primes your brain for
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miracles it doesn't mean ignoring
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what's wrong it just means it means
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choosing to focus on what is right and
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like complaining the more you do of it the more gratitude you.
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Give the easier it gets and you're
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you it's like you're training your brain to
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scan for beauty for joy and for possibility and I do want to talk about the
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fact that like I said earlier it is okay to have things that are wrong in your
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life or people or events or situations that frustrate you and that give you a reason to complain.
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If we can be focusing and improving our gratitude and choosing the gratitude
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and choosing what's right in the situation more than what's wrong,
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that is going to flip the switch and that is going to be able to at least weigh
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on the side that you are more optimistic more often than not.
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And you can work on building on this. It's taken me
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years to build that when I'm driving in
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the car I get less frustrated with people who cut
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me up who drive poorly who you know
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who drives aggressively and you know
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sometimes I kind of let them go and I just smile smile
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to myself because I know that I'm choosing the higher power I
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know that I'm making better choices for myself and
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and like I said it doesn't mean that you're
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not going to want to complain about your bad health but maybe
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choose to do what I do where I have that
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10 minutes maybe someone that you love that's
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close to you could be that person where you say do you mind if I
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take 10 minutes and have a rant have a rant and then like I say release it let
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it go and then choose to look for some gratitudes in those scenarios now a great
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scenario is in your relationship so if you are in a relationship at the moment,
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or you'll think about past relationships. It doesn't have to be a romantic one.
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This might be a relationship with a friend or a family member.
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But let's look in your relationship.
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And if you are constantly niggling at each other.
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Constantly snapping at each other, what can happen is you start complaining
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about that person, whether that's to other people, or even in your head,
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you can kind of complain to yourself and go, oh.
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They're so moody. They're so frustrating.
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They're so angry all the time. They're so uptight or they don't show me appreciation.
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They don't appreciate that I've done the washing.
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So sometimes what can happen is you get on this kind of loop.
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Of looking for everything to complain about.
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And then you start noticing all of the things to complain about.
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Maybe even things you might not have noticed before, but because you're on this,
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it's like you're on the complaining train.
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You've got a ticket, you've jumped on the complaining train and now it's going
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100 miles per hour and now you can't get off because that's all you're noticing.
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So it's up to you to pull the brakes on that train
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and stop and maybe get a
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refund on that ticket get a refund on your complaining train
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and step off and get a ticket
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for the the optimistic train the gratitude train
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and start to kind of turn the cogs
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the other way so if you are in this situation at the moment where there is someone
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where you feel like you're just noticing all the bad bits and if this is your
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romantic relationship do me a favor and give yourself you know a week or so
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and start thinking and looking at all the things they do right,
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all the things they do well, the little glimmers that make you smile,
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the gratitude that you have for that person.
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Concentrate solely on those things to give gratitude for and I guarantee you
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your relationships will improve and I think it's a really good lesson with what
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we're speaking about today,
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a really good test to give yourself where you go oh my god that actually
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worked that actually worked and then it will
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make you realize other areas of your life that
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you can improve and live a calmer happier life by
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choosing on what choosing what's right instead of
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what's wrong let's look at an example of
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a real life example two versions
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of the same day so let's look at scenario one this
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is for the people that are in complaint mode so
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let's say you wake up late your alarm doesn't go
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off you wake up and you go oh I never get enough sleep
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I'm going to be late for work your alarm hasn't gone
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off maybe you run downstairs you spill your coffee
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on your white shirt and you go yeah that's typical that is
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typical you know my life didn't go off I've now
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spilled my coffee then you get in the traffic and you
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know the traffic jam is not moving and you're like yeah of
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course of course I'm stuck in traffic by lunchtime
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your energy is gone you feel snappy with people at work you feel like you're
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behind on your task for work and you feel resentful maybe you come home and
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your partner hasn't cooked dinner because you've had such a bad day all of these
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things to complain about you're just resentful and that is your typical day of complaining.
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Your scenario one of being in complaint mode.
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Here's scenario two. And this is when you have the same day,
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but you are in gratitude mode. So you wake up.
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And you say, I'm grateful for this quiet moment. I'm grateful for this quiet moment.
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And even if your alarm doesn't go off properly, you could actually maybe wake
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up and go, do you know what?
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I'm grateful for the extra sleep I had.
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Just look for something, gratitude, something in that moment.
28:12
Maybe you then run downstairs, you spill your coffee, but you know what?
28:16
You laugh and you clean it up. You laugh to the universe and go, yeah.
28:20
Rather than going, oh, it's typical. You can kind of laugh and go,
28:23
yeah, yeah, and you clean it up.
28:26
Maybe the traffic sucks. You get into that traffic jam, but you know what?
28:29
You go, okay, I'm in a traffic jam. I'm going to appreciate this quiet moment,
28:34
and I'm going to listen to that podcast.
28:37
Maybe you're going to listen to the manifestation station, something that inspires
28:42
you. And do you know what?
28:43
Maybe you're late for work, but you have an hour of a beautiful podcast that sets you up for the day.
28:49
You can't change that traffic jam. you cannot change
28:52
that traffic jam so whether you are going to be late for
28:55
work late for a meeting you can't change it
28:58
by sitting in the car complaining ringing your
29:02
partner to complain you cannot change that event so why not look for the good
29:07
and get something good out of that situation there is no point in panicking
29:11
about what your boss thinks it is done you send your apology about you being
29:16
late but you're stuck in traffic jam and then you listen to your podcast,
29:20
and then maybe you arrive to work and you feel more grounding more creative
29:24
and open to new ideas maybe you come home and if your partner hasn't cooked
29:28
dinner for you you go do you know what I'm going to get us a takeaway today
29:32
let's make it something interesting or I'm going to get out a cookbook and I'm
29:36
going to create a recipe today.
29:38
These two events are the same external events but totally different experiences
29:44
only due to the fact of how you have chosen to react to those events and those situations.
29:52
That is your power.
29:54
That is the power of intentional focus.
29:58
That is you in your power deciding what kind of day you are going to have.
30:04
Now, imagine if you stack these days and you have more days like this,
30:09
more days in gratitude mode, you are actually going to change your life.
30:14
This isn't just one episode about how you could maybe change one little circumstance a day.
30:20
This is about how day in, day out, you have the ability to change your whole life.
30:29
So if you're wondering now, like, well, how do I stop complaining because complaining
30:34
is a habit and it's about rewiring your brain and your habits and the way that you work.
30:41
So here I've got kind of five simple ways to shift those habits if you feel
30:47
like you're stuck in complaining mode.
30:49
So the first one is the 24-hour no complaining challenge.
30:54
Give yourself just 24 hours without complaining about anything and if you slip up just stop,
31:02
notice and reset there's no shame it's
31:06
just this is like a little kind of just test of curiosity and just checking
31:11
actually I was just about to complain about that thing but I'm going to stop
31:14
and then just try and reframe it so it's just give yourself a 24-hour no complaining
31:19
challenge and I also think you'll probably realize how much you do complain
31:23
without realizing it because it's habit.
31:27
Step two is to flip the script. So when you catch yourself about to complain, try this.
31:32
Kind of say, look, I don't like this thing, but I'm grateful for that.
31:36
So I don't like this. However, find something that you are grateful for within that scenario.
31:43
So you could say something like, oh, I'm annoyed about, you know,
31:47
this person sending me emails from work.
31:49
However, I am grateful that I have a job that pays my bills.
31:54
So you're grateful. So you might not like those emails coming in.
31:56
And it doesn't change the fact that you don't like those emails coming in,
32:00
but you're grateful that you have a job that pays your bills.
32:04
Number three is to use gratitude anchors. So tie gratitude to routine.
32:11
Say three things you're grateful for whilst doing a habit that already exists.
32:15
So that could be brushing your teeth, it could be waiting for the kettle to
32:18
boil or walking the dog. It's called habit stacking.
32:22
So if a habit already exists, you
32:26
stack another a habit to that and that becomes habit stacking
32:29
it's easier to attach a new
32:32
habit to one that already exists already so perhaps
32:35
try that do gratitude while you're brushing your teeth number four I love this
32:41
one I love this one and I do this one quite a lot it's to be a gratitude leader
32:45
so you start conversations with what's good so you go right guys tell me something
32:52
great that happened to you today.
32:54
And do you know what I love about this? You'll be shocked at how it shifts a
32:59
group dynamic. It shifts the energy within a group.
33:02
Right, come on, guys. I do this at work. When I'm filming, we're doing long
33:07
hours. I'll be on with my team and I'll go, oh, you know, we'll be thinking,
33:11
oh, we're really tired. We have long journeys home.
33:14
Maybe it's very repetitive with what we're filming that day.
33:18
I stop and I go, right, guys, tell me something that went really good today.
33:23
Tell me something you're grateful for today or we
33:26
play a game that my friend introduced me to my
33:29
friend who's also in the industry and she's on my team at work she
33:33
tara she says to me she introduced
33:36
me to a game called red light green light so when
33:39
we're having a day we're like oh my god we're stressed we're tired we're
33:42
knackered test you know we're being tested she was
33:45
like let's play red light green light so we say red light
33:48
is something that we didn't like that happened that day so tell me
33:51
something didn't have like happened today okay well I
33:53
didn't like that I was stuck in a traffic jam and I was late for
33:56
work okay your green light is what's something
33:59
that's really good that happened today oh do you know what we got
34:02
served the best yummiest food at lunch
34:05
aren't we lucky that we get catering at work so we
34:08
play red light green light but equally you could just say
34:11
you know I do this a lot just tell me something great that happened to you
34:14
today and it's like you know
34:16
it's not just a little exercise for you becoming
34:20
a gratitude leader is being in
34:23
a group where you lift the mood be that person that lifts the mood watch the
34:29
dynamic change when you say to people you know tell me something good that happened
34:33
to you today the other thing that I've just done which actually wasn't on my
34:37
list but it reminds me of a game I say a game,
34:40
it's a game slash conversation starter.
34:43
And I've been out and I play this, I created this game and I play this with
34:49
friends or family when we're out.
34:51
Maybe we'll go for dinner and, you know, sometimes conversation could just be
34:55
about work and, you know, day-to-day life.
34:58
And I will kind of stop and I go, right, guys, let's go around the table and
35:03
let's say one thing that we love about each person around the table.
35:07
So we'll start with someone across the table and I'll say, right, let's start with Sarah.
35:12
We all say one thing that we love about Sarah and it's a little bit like this gratitude game.
35:18
And do you know what? I love this game for so many reasons. One, it lifts the mood.
35:26
Two, I find that we don't often say to people the qualities that we like in them.
35:32
It's quite rare that we stop and say, do you know what? So, you know,
35:35
we played this before and we said, okay, what do we like about Sarah?
35:38
So, do you know what? Sarah is a really loyal friend. I find that with Sarah,
35:42
and I'm looking at her and I'm saying it, and everybody is taking this in and
35:46
taking in this gratitude energy.
35:48
I say, do you know what, Sarah, what I really like about you,
35:51
and I'll think of something that maybe I've not thought before.
35:53
And I say and I had this recently I said look you are.
35:56
A really loyal friend something about
35:59
you is that I know I can come to you and
36:02
you will always be there to support me
36:05
to have my back and you are the most loyal
36:08
friend that is out there the other
36:11
great thing about this is the person on the receiving end and
36:13
everybody gets a chance to receive because we work our way around
36:16
the table everyone gets a chance to receive but
36:19
Sarah sat there is lifted beyond
36:24
belief she has like suddenly full
36:27
of gratitude for all of these friends around her she's
36:30
also kind of really humbled like what you
36:34
think I'm a loyal friend that's so lovely I've never
36:37
heard someone say that before so it's just it
36:40
makes the whole room full of love
36:43
so definitely try that sometime I haven't got a
36:46
name for that game but I will name it but try it
36:49
it's so lovely I've done it with my family recently we went
36:52
on a family holiday we did the same thing let's go around
36:54
and say one thing we love about that person we say no do you
36:57
know what with you you really listen you're a really
37:00
really good listener and I always value our
37:03
conversations we have put a thought into it and put
37:06
love into it number five is write a gratitude journal at night so just write
37:13
three things you are grateful for every night and actually I like to do things
37:18
I'm grateful for but I like to do a great a daily a daily gratitude list.
37:24
Because I find with the daily gratitude lift, it lets you think about all of
37:28
the small things that day that made you smile.
37:32
And these are things that you probably wouldn't recognize unless you sit down
37:36
and stop yourself for a moment to give gratitude for them.
37:40
And that can be simple things like the person smiling at you in the shop.
37:45
Maybe someone buying you a coffee.
37:47
The sun was out while you were having a walk. The fact that you had five minutes to go for a walk.
37:52
You had a delicious lunch. you had a lovely chat with
37:55
your partner in the evening you watched a wonderful episode of that
37:57
series you're watching and actually I do a daily gratitude
38:00
list in my head sometimes I don't always
38:03
write it down if I'm suddenly tired I do it in my head and I kind
38:06
of go through all the things that I think even on the days
38:09
which I feel like I don't want to say bad days but on the days which I feel
38:13
like weren't so good you actually still have things to be grateful for so those
38:19
are some of the ways that can help you to shift your habit from complaining
38:24
to being on more of a gratitude wavelength.
38:28
And gratitude, it doesn't just change your body and your brain,
38:32
it changes your relationships.
38:34
So like I said, when you stop complaining and start appreciating people,
38:37
the people actually shift as well.
38:41
So not only does your relationship improve because you're noticing the gratitude,
38:45
those people around you, those relationships, their energy will actually shift
38:52
themselves. They become lighter.
38:54
They become more magnetic. So you feel safe and the whole relationship feels inspiring.
39:00
And the people want to be around you when you are giving gratitude.
39:06
That's like I said with that gratitude game. You be the gratitude leader and lift the mood.
39:10
People want to be around you. This is what makes you magnetic.
39:15
Now, I always look for the good in situations.
39:18
I always try to be an optimist. It doesn't mean I manage it all of the time, every day.
39:23
And do you know what? People quite often comment to me when we're working on
39:27
a job. They're like, oh my God, Holly, please give us some gratitude.
39:30
And I can sense that people need to be around it and
39:34
it doesn't mean being fake positive either
39:37
or toxic optimism this it
39:40
means choosing your focus with attention it's not ignoring those things that
39:45
are causing you grief it is choosing to focus on something better so you can
39:51
still be real and you can feel grounded but not panic so for example going back
39:57
to my industry in the film and tv world.
40:00
There are a lot of people in my position who design the makeup or even on the
40:06
team that sometimes they flap in a situation.
40:09
So sometimes quite often we might have schedule changes and all of a sudden
40:13
you're thrust into a day of actually this person needs this different wig on.
40:18
They need to have some prosthetics. They need to have some injuries put on. It wasn't planned.
40:23
And all of a sudden, sometimes people go into this panic mode and they do what I say, they flap.
40:29
And they flap and they're like oh this is terrible how can we
40:32
possibly do this we didn't have we haven't had
40:35
the the warning we need to prepare for this and I kind of calm myself and calm
40:40
the team and I go guys this is what it is we can't change this so I'm honest
40:45
with the people who are demanding these changes and I'll say look this is quite
40:50
difficult to achieve it might take us longer however, what's our solution?
40:54
What can I do for you? There's no point in me flapping.
40:58
Why? Why flapping and panicking? What is that going to do to help me?
41:03
It may be frustrating, but ultimately, let's just get to the solution.
41:08
Okay, this is the situation. I'm still honest.
41:11
It's not fake positivity in me going, okay, I can absolutely deliver
41:16
and this is not a problem at all but what I can do is say
41:19
I'll be realistic and say this is this is
41:21
going to cause us maybe some delays because we haven't prepped for
41:24
this however what I can do is I'll make sure we
41:27
get it out to you as quickly as we can and we'll
41:30
do those makeups and the changes and we'll deal with the actors and
41:33
things like that we will do that and you know
41:36
it can it can give me a bit of a headache a mental
41:40
headache with trying to now figure out the logistics
41:43
of everything but ultimately sure we
41:46
just make it happen without me flapping without
41:50
me complaining with me getting on with the
41:52
job but still recognizing there is a realism in what needs to happen if you
41:57
have been feeling tired stuck or energetically off recently look at your life
42:04
and if you've been complaining maybe it's not a big block maybe that's not what's
42:09
happening here maybe it's not your routine maybe Maybe.
42:13
Just maybe, it's complaining that is zapping your magic.
42:17
So I notice if I'm having a little dip where I feel like,
42:21
oh, I've got a bit stale in my manifesting journey and things aren't happening,
42:26
sometimes I look and I think, I've been complaining about that thing a lot or
42:31
I've been complaining about that situation or that relationship or that thing
42:35
that is bringing me down. Yeah.
42:37
I've realized that I've been complaining and I have to pull myself out of it.
42:41
And I notice as soon as I do that the momentum starts building,
42:45
that's when things start happening again.
42:47
So maybe just take a look at the minute. And like I say, if you're feeling off,
42:51
if you're feeling stuck or tired, maybe look and think, ah, this is it.
42:57
I've been complaining a lot.
42:58
And I've given you the antidote. The antidote is free. It's simple and it starts
43:03
now. And that is gratitude.
43:07
So let's end this episode with a challenge.
43:11
Your challenge of the week is to go 24 hours without complaining.
43:15
Write down five things you're grateful for every night and just notice how your
43:22
body feels. I actually want you to stop and think.
43:25
When you stop complaining and you start writing your gratitude,
43:29
I want you to stop for a moment and think and notice how your body feels.
43:33
Notice if or how your energy has shifted.
43:37
Notice your ideas because normally
43:40
as I say complaining it stifles your creativity part of your brain.
43:45
So just stop and notice that maybe actually you have better ideas that come
43:50
to you once you start this challenge of going without complaining and writing down your gratitude.
43:56
So let your gratitude become your magnetism. Now
44:01
if you have enjoyed this episode I
44:04
really hope you have please share it with a
44:06
friend or a loved one I always think
44:09
that spreading and sharing the episodes and
44:12
the podcast is a way also of spreading and sharing your love and giving love
44:18
in the universe as well it also helps my podcast and that is it really helps
44:23
me out to get this out to more people I want to help more people I want to help
44:28
more women and if you can leave a review.
44:31
I've had some lovely reviews on the podcast.
44:34
And please post me your gratitude lists on your stories or tag me.
44:39
I'm at the Holly Edwards and also at the dot manifestation station.
44:44
I love seeing your energy shift in real time.
44:48
So remember, you don't manifest from stress. You manifest from alignment and
44:54
gratitude is alignment.
44:57
I am so proud of you guys and everything that you are doing within your manifesting world.
45:04
I will see you next week on the episode.
45:08
And until then, stop complaining, start appreciating and keep becoming the most
45:16
magnetic version of you.
45:20
And before we go you thought I
45:22
was done you were waiting for the jingle you thought I was done but
45:26
I am going to be live I'm hosting
45:29
a manifesting evening at a wonderful studios
45:32
in Chesterford it's a new beautiful studios
45:35
called 222 the magic number 222
45:39
it's in Chesterford I am hosting a live manifesting
45:43
event if you would like to get a ticket tickets
45:46
are limited it's on the 7th of August and it's
45:49
in the evening I will post in the show notes
45:52
so look at the show notes here I will post the
45:55
link the website where you can get tickets it's
45:58
on 222 wellness website they
46:02
are they're putting it together and I'm hosting it
46:05
and it's going to be a magnificent night I'm going to take you through the steps
46:09
of manifesting real steps that you can utilize from that evening And I'm also
46:16
going to share with you my exclusive 24-hour manifesting game,
46:23
which is going to be in my upcoming new book.
46:25
I haven't shared this online anywhere because it will go viral because it is amazing.
46:31
It basically is a 24-hour game
46:33
that I created, which proves that you can manifest anything in 24 hours.
46:38
And every single person, every single person I have told about this game.
46:46
Whether it's clients, celebrities, friends, family, every single person has
46:51
manifested what they set out to in 24 hours.
46:53
That's how good this game is. And I tell people about it at my live event.
46:58
So if you would like to get a ticket, I will leave the website in the show notes.
47:03
Please come along. There will be a Q&A at the end. So if you have specific things
47:07
that you want answered, maybe things going on in your life or you have manifesting
47:11
questions, please come along and get a ticket.
47:14
So I'm going to end again. I'm going to repeat my last quote so that it ends on a nice thing.
47:19
Remember, stop complaining, start appreciating and keep becoming the most magnetic
47:26
version of you. Goodbye.
47:30
Music.