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From Dance Floors to Spiritual Paths · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to Spiritual Shit Show.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Julie Nguyen and this podcast has been kind of really fun for me to do.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I think, with everything that we do in life, it is a manifestation of a teacher for us.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I started this podcast honestly in 2019, and I had it dedicated to dance studio owners and at the time, I just really wanted to be a life coach and a mentor for dance studio owners.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I was a dance studio owner for 17 years and at the tail end of that adventure, I was really able to apply energetic tools.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I was really into Reiki, so I was practicing Reiki and energy protection tools and journaling a lot and my life and my ability to not take on so much of the pressure and to really stay in alignment with what my purpose was, which has always been to create a space where others can really feel and be seen and, through movement, to empower one another.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: And, yeah, I loved it.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I loved it.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: And then that adventure abruptly came to a close and then I started down this seven-year spiritual journey, unraveling, and when I first started this, the mission was to help support others and then, as my spiritual, very chaotic spiritual, very chaotic self-unraveling began and I was forced to really do deep dives, starting at childhood and then looking at family dynamics and then looking at self, and it was layered, it was complex, it was messy, it was beautiful, and while I was looking for support, I would go to as many healers as I possibly could.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I got a life coach.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I was getting acupuncture and cranial and therapy, and I was doing everything to help keep my head above water at the time, because I felt like I was drowning in the unknown.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I didn't know how to pick myself up again.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I wasn't making any money, I couldn't work, I was in lawyer fees, I was running out of money.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: It was a lot.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: It was a lot, and I realized that these people that I was going to for help and assistance or to show me a crystal ball, that they too were also on their own path, and that I really resonated with the ones who could tell me I understand, I did that too or that happened to me too, or I remember what that felt like.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: And that's where this spiritual shit show name came from, because the journey itself is incredible and it is also a shit show most of the time.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: In order to evolve, we have to evolve, we have to embrace change, and change is very uncertain, and change means allowing yourself to be in the unknown or, you know, have a plan, but also be okay with something magical, you know, coming in and sometimes there's not a timeline.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Or for me, it felt like I was constantly pushing and pushing and pushing to make things work and nothing happened.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I was really trying to push myself back into the dance space for a really long, long time and it just I could never get back into it the way I was, and so it felt very defeating.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: It felt very confusing.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I felt like I was efforting all the time, you know, like I'm going to write all these emails and send all these things out and then I'm going to get work or I'm going to promote myself on social media and people are going to want me to come in and do life coaching and mentoring for dancers, or I'm going to and nothing took.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So there has to be a space in the spiritual awakening journey or the shit show for also to be okay with that.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Healing is going to take as long as it takes, and that if you're forcing something to happen because of fear or because you feel lost or you know, or you're desperate.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: More than likely it's not going to happen.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: But anyway, most of the support team that I was able to really lean on at that time.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I realized that they too were humans and they too had, you know, at times, messy lives that they didn't have it all together either, and that they were also working through, you know, at times, messy lives that they didn't have it all together either and that they were also working through.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: You know, whatever it is that they were working through at the time, and I just appreciated that.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: So anyway, spiritual shit show this podcast for me is evolving that way too.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: You know, I started the spiritual shit show to not only share my story but to also teach so many of these tools that got me through the worst and most confusing time of my life.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And then I had a moment where I was dealing with unfinished business.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I still have this dream of wanting to be back in the dance space again, because I know it.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I know the dance space like the back of my hand, and so then, you know, season two of this podcast was dedicated all to dance, and I don't even I think I deleted it, I'm not really quite sure, but anyways, I dedicated it Everything I ever wanted to tell a dance studio owner.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I said it and that was really interesting, because season one of Spiritual Shit Show, where it was really authentic, where it was really authentic, got more downloads.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Then, when I just was wanting to finish up you know business and the dance world it felt like the message was falling on deaf ears.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: So then for season three, it's made.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Spiritual Shit Show has made its return.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: But then I ventured into well, I should have it more like scripted and organized and I shouldn't just get on the microphone and just blab for an eternity.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: And that's been interesting too, because now it's kind of like mixed downloads and so now I'm just going back to that authentic piece like share for the sake of sharing and inspiring and really allowing yourself to be in an unknown space very authentically.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: So that is what, and whatever happens, happens, you have to be okay with that.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: So this is what I'm doing and this is a part of growth and this is a part of allowing yourself to experience creative expression or sharing wisdom without the tone of it needing to have followers or downloads or look or be on a quote, unquote brand.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: And it's been an interesting experience and experiment for me to see.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: You know when I show up, and it's more.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: You know I've done the work to make it sound fluid and the feedback is positive, but it's just, it hasn't taken off like it did the first season one, and when I asked myself, well, what's the difference?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: It was authenticity always.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: So we're going to talk about authenticity, but I also want to talk about going back to the original dream, which is I just want to share anything that I have gone through, these things that have helped me.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: If I can share them and they are helping you, then goal accomplished, I am happy, I am happy.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I am happy.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: This is my job, this is my purpose.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So, just like healing is not linear, spirituality is not linear either.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: It is a messy circle and you keep learning deeper some of these tools you know, like you keep deepening your spiritual practice of meditation or prayer, or the more you journal, the more it evolves.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: And then you too are channeling your higher self and information from just a higher consciousness.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: The more I deepen into my own personal somatic practice and using somatic therapy, I just really realize how wise the body is.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: So it's a constant deepening, a constant understanding of self, of the world, of not everything is black and white.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It's almost like life is a kaleidoscope and if you just turn the dial at the top you get a whole new picture, but the vessel's the same and you're the same.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: You're getting a different framework, you're getting a different pattern.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: You're getting a different opportunity to see something new.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I was lucky enough to have started my business, my first business in dance.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I own a dance studio and I opened it when I was 21 years old and at the time, thank goodness, there was not Instagram or Facebook or anything like that and the studio itself became very popular, very successful right from the get-go.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: We had really incredible dancers and for me at the time, because I didn't have anything to compare myself to, I could only use my intuition and I had to trust it.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: So, whatever song choices were coming in or movement or something that was goofy that I wanted to do, the authenticity of the work that I was able to allow to move through me, and I was really trusting gut and intuition and just these little blips that would come through of like oh yeah, that would be cool.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: And I was really trusting gut and intuition and just these little blips that would come through of like oh yeah, that would be cool, or I would see pictures of movement in my head and that's what I would create, and at the time I didn't care if it did well at competitions.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: It was so fun just to be creating and because it was so authentic, I think that's what made it so successful.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: And in that 17-year span of that particular career, it was really cool to notice that at the beginning, when there was no, I couldn't compare myself or look at how anybody else was doing anything.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I could only do what the inspiration was calling me to do, what my intuition was guiding me to do, and I didn't care about the outcome.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I just really allowed myself to be in the creation process of it.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: It was successful and I didn't even care about success.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to survive.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Actually, I wanted to make money and we wanted to get students and we wanted to do okay.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: We didn't want to be knuckleheads at a competition, but we wanted to get students and we wanted to do okay.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: We didn't want to be knuckleheads at a competition, but we wanted to put our best foot forward as best as we could.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: But we were different.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Our business was very different and I think it's because we followed our hearts and it was very authentic.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: And then came social media and you you can access information more and we were successful.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: So we had to keep up with that success and that's when I noticed that the creativity part began to suffer.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: My happiness was really going down the drain and it was hard to keep up with the success level.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: It was not as authentic and the more I had to produce something that would win or look like what everybody wanted or to look like something that would win, the happiness factor again just wasn't there and then I couldn't be authentic.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I couldn't think outside of the box, I couldn't create something that possibly would totally bomb on stage and not be received well, but I didn't care because it was fun to create it.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: All of that changed and then you put a little block in the timeline there for spiritual unraveling and healing and all this kind of stuff.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: And now I'm approaching again what this is to be authentic in my work and it's a little bit more difficult because again there is such a heavy voice about branding and color and tone and what you have to do and all these channels of like YouTube and TikTok and Instagram and podcast and people and like channels of like YouTube and TikTok and Instagram and podcast and people and like there's a definite look, that's there.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: And so I'm trying to allow myself to be in the space of authenticity.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: And if it feels authentic and it feels fun and it feels inspiring, then I want to do that and I'm grateful that I have a marker in my life and in this timeline of you know what it feels like to just have fun.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: You know what it feels like to create for the sake of creating, and you know what it feels like to create without caring what anybody else thinks, but it is fun for you to do it.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Those are some of the thoughts that I am thinking about and I want you to think about it too.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Like, am I really authentic in my own life, or do I have the opinions and the voices of either family members or society or friends, or you know, am I free to be myself?
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Am I free to really be myself?
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Think about that.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Think about that.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: This is something that I'm thinking about too.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And then also, and what is keeping me contained and usually it's a fear, and for mine it's very layered, but these are two things I'm going to think about what does it really feel like to be myself?
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: What does it feel like to be authentic?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: What does it feel like to really trust how you want to express yourself in this life?
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Other, to be authentically ourselves, and how many times do we really get to receive that?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Do that?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Be that?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: See that.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: And how many times do we really get to receive that?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Do that?
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Be that?
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: See that?
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Food for thought.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, welcome back.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and I'll end this session with what came through for me in meditation for my 46th birthday this year, and while I was praying and gaining clarity of you know, what does 46 feel like?
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: What does it look like?
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I just heard from either higher consciousness, the guides support team, whatever you want to call it, but they were very clear with this message life.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Life is the ultimate gift and what you do with it is up to you.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: May you continue to live a bright, authentic, fun journey.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I am sending you so much love Till next time.