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11 - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll · Thrilling Adventures - Daily

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  Speaker 1: Chapter eleven. The King and Queen of Hearts were seated
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  Speaker 1: on their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd
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  Speaker 1: assembled about them, all sorts of little birds and beasts,
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  Speaker 1: as well as a whole pack of cards. The Knave
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  Speaker 1: was standing before them in chains, with a soldier on
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  Speaker 1: each side to guard him, and near the king was
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  Speaker 1: the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand and
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  Speaker 1: a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very
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  Speaker 1: middle of the court was a table with a large
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  Speaker 1: dish of tarts upon it. They looked so good that
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  Speaker 1: it made Alice quite hungry to look at them. I
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  Speaker 1: wish they'd get the trial done, she thought, and hand
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  Speaker 1: round the refreshments. But there seemed to be no chance
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  Speaker 1: of this, so she began looking at everything about her
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  Speaker 1: to pass away the time. Alice had never been in
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  Speaker 1: a court of justice before, but she had read about
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  Speaker 1: them in books, and she was quite pleased to find
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  Speaker 1: that she knew the name of nearly everything. There. That's
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  Speaker 1: the judge, she said to herself, because of his great wig.
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  Speaker 1: The judge, by the way, was the king, And as
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  Speaker 1: he wore his crown over them, he did not look
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  Speaker 1: at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. And
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  Speaker 1: that's the jury box, thought Alice. And those twelve creatures
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  Speaker 1: she was obliged to say creatures, you see, because some
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  Speaker 1: of them were animals and some were birds. I suppose
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  Speaker 1: they are the jurors. She said this last word two
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  Speaker 1: or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it,
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  Speaker 1: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little
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  Speaker 1: girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However,
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  Speaker 1: jurymen would have done just as well. The twelve jurors
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  Speaker 1: were all writing very busily on slates. What are they doing,
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  Speaker 1: Alice whispered to the griffin. They can't have anything to
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  Speaker 1: put down yet before the trial's begun. They're putting down
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  Speaker 1: their names. The griffin whispered in reply, for fear that
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  Speaker 1: they should forget them before the end of the trial.
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  Speaker 1: Stupid things, Alice began in a loud, indignant voice. But
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  Speaker 1: she stopped hastily, for the white rabbit cried out silence
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  Speaker 1: in the court, and the King put on his spectacles
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  Speaker 1: and looked anxiously round to make out who was talking.
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  Speaker 1: Alice could see, as well as if she were looking
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  Speaker 1: over their shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down
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  Speaker 1: stupid things on their slates, and she could even make
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  Speaker 1: out that one of them didn't know how to spell stupid,
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  Speaker 1: and that he had to ask his neighbor to tell
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  Speaker 1: him a nice muddle. Their slates'll be in before the
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  Speaker 1: trial's over, thought Alice. One of the jurors, had a
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  Speaker 1: pencil that squeaked. This, of course Alice could not stand,
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  Speaker 1: and she went round the court and got behind him,
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  Speaker 1: and very soon found an opportunity of taking it away.
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  Speaker 1: She did it so quickly that the poor little juror,
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  Speaker 1: it was Bill the Lizard, could not make out at
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  Speaker 1: all what had become of it. So, after hunting all
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  Speaker 1: about for it, he was obliged to write with one
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  Speaker 1: finger for the rest of the day. And this was
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  Speaker 1: of very little use, as it left no mark on
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  Speaker 1: the slate. How old read the accusation, said the king.
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  Speaker 1: On this the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet,
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  Speaker 1: and then enrolled the parchment scroll and read as follows,
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  Speaker 1: The Queen of she made some tarts all on a
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  Speaker 1: summer day. The knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts
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  Speaker 1: and took them quite away. Consider your verdict, the king
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  Speaker 1: said to the jury, not yet not yet. The rabbit
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  Speaker 1: hastily interrupted, that's a great deal to come before that
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  Speaker 1: call the first witness, said the King, and the white
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  Speaker 1: rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet and called out
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  Speaker 1: fast witness. The first witness was the hatter. He came
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  Speaker 1: in with a tea cup in one hand and a
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  Speaker 1: piece of bread and butter in the other. I beg
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  Speaker 1: pardon your majesty, he began, for bringing these in. But
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  Speaker 1: I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.
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  Speaker 1: You ought to have finished, said the king. When did
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  Speaker 1: you begin? The hatter looked at the march Hare, who
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  Speaker 1: had followed him into the court arm in arm with
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  Speaker 1: a dormouse. Fourteenth of March, I think it was, he said, Fifteenth,
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  Speaker 1: said the march Hare. Sixteenth, added the dormouse. Write that down,
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  Speaker 1: the King said to the jury, and a jury eagerly
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  Speaker 1: wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then
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  Speaker 1: added them up and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
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  Speaker 1: Take off your hat, the king said to the hatter,
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  Speaker 1: It isn't mine, said the hatter. Still in, the King exclaimed,
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  Speaker 1: turning to the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of
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  Speaker 1: the fact, I keep them to sell. The hatter added,
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  Speaker 1: as an explanation, I've done of my own. I am
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  Speaker 1: a hatter here. The Queen put on her spectacles and
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  Speaker 1: began staring at the hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
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  Speaker 1: Give your evidence, said the king, and don't be nervous,
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  Speaker 1: or I'll have you executed on the spot. This did
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  Speaker 1: not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept
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  Speaker 1: shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at
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  Speaker 1: the Queen, and in his confusion, he bit a large
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  Speaker 1: piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and butter.
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  Speaker 1: Just at this moment, Alice felt a very curious sensation,
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  Speaker 1: which puzzled her a good deal until she made out
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  Speaker 1: what it was. She was beginning to grow larger again,
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  Speaker 1: and she thought at first she would get up and
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  Speaker 1: leave the court, but on second thought, she decided to
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  Speaker 1: remain where she was as long as there was room
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  Speaker 1: for her. I wish you wouldn't squeeze, so said the dormouse,
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  Speaker 1: who was sitting next to her. I can hardly breathe.
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  Speaker 1: I can't help it, said Alice, very meekly. I'm growing.
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  Speaker 1: You've no right to grow. Here, said the dormouse. Don't
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  Speaker 1: talk nonsense, said Alice more boldly. You know you're growing too, Yes,
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  Speaker 1: but I grow at a reasonable pace, said the dormouse,
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  Speaker 1: not in that ridiculous fashion, and he got up, very
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  Speaker 1: sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.
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  Speaker 1: All this time the Queen had never left off staring
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  Speaker 1: at the hatter, and just as the dormouse crossed the court,
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  Speaker 1: she said to one of the officers of the court,
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  Speaker 1: bring me the list to the singers in the last concert,
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  Speaker 1: on which the wretched hatter trembled so that he shook
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  Speaker 1: both his shoes off. Give your evidence, the King repeated, angrily,
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  Speaker 1: or I'll have you executed, whether you're nervous or not.
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  Speaker 1: I'm a poor man, your majesty. The hatter began, in
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  Speaker 1: a trembling voice. I'm I hadn't begun my tea, not
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  Speaker 1: above a week or so, And what with the bread
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  Speaker 1: and butter getting so thin, and the twinkling of the tea,
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  Speaker 1: the twinkling of the watt, said the King. It begun
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  Speaker 1: with the tea. The hatter replied, Of course, twinkling begins
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  Speaker 1: with the tea, said the King, sharply, do take me
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  Speaker 1: for a dunce. Go on, I'm a poor man, the
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  Speaker 1: hatter went on, and most things twinkled. After that, only
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  Speaker 1: the march hare said I didn't. The march hare interrupted
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  Speaker 1: in a great hurry. You did, said the hatter. I
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  Speaker 1: deny it, said the march hare. He denies it, said
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  Speaker 1: the king. Leave out that part well, at any rate,
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  Speaker 1: the dormouse said. The hatter went on, looking anxiously round
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  Speaker 1: to see if he would deny it too, but the
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  Speaker 1: dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. After that continued the hatter.
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  Speaker 1: I cut some more bread and butter. But what did
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  Speaker 1: the dormouse say. One of the jury asked that I
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  Speaker 1: can't remember, said the hatter. You must remember, remarked the king,
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  Speaker 1: or I'll have you executed. The miserable hatter dropped his
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  Speaker 1: tea cup and bread and butter and went down on
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  Speaker 1: one knee. I'm a poor man, your majesty, he began.
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  Speaker 1: You're a very poor speaker, said the king. Here. One
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  Speaker 1: of the guinea pigs cheered and was immediately suppressed by
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  Speaker 1: the officers of the court. As that is rather a
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  Speaker 1: hard word, I will just explain to you how it
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  Speaker 1: was done. They had a large canvas bag which tied
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  Speaker 1: up at the mouth with strings. Into this, they slipped
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  Speaker 1: the guinea pig headfirst, and then sat upon it. I'm
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  Speaker 1: glad I've seen that done, thought Alice. I've so often
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  Speaker 1: read in the newspapers at the end of trials there
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  Speaker 1: with some attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by
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  Speaker 1: the officers of the court. And I never understood what
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  Speaker 1: it meant till now. If that's all you know about it,
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  Speaker 1: you may stand down, continued the king. I can't go,
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  Speaker 1: no loa, said the hatter. I'm on the floor as
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  Speaker 1: it is. Then you may sit down, the king replied.
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  Speaker 1: Hear the other guinea pig cheered and was suppressed. Come
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  Speaker 1: that finished, the guinea pigs, thought, Alice, Now we shall
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  Speaker 1: get on better. I'd rather finish my tea, said the hatter,
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  Speaker 1: with an anxious look at the Queen, who was reading
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  Speaker 1: the list of singers. You may go, said the king,
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  Speaker 1: and the hatter hurriedly left the court, without even waiting
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  Speaker 1: to put his shoes on, and just take his head
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  Speaker 1: off outside, the queen added to one of the officers,
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  Speaker 1: but the hatter was out of sight before the officer
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  Speaker 1: could get to the door. Call the next witness, said
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  Speaker 1: the king. The next witness was the duchess's cook. She
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  Speaker 1: carried the pipper box in her hand, and Alice guessed
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  Speaker 1: who it was even before she got into the court.
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  Speaker 1: By the way the people knear, the door began sneezing
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  Speaker 1: all at once. Give your evidence, said the king. Saunt,
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  Speaker 1: said the cook. The King looked anxiously at the white rabbit,
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  Speaker 1: who said, in a low voice, your Majesty must cross
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  Speaker 1: examine this witness. Well, if I must, I must, the
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  Speaker 1: King said with a melancholy air, And after folding his
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  Speaker 1: arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
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  Speaker 1: nearly out of sight, he said, in a deep voice,
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  Speaker 1: what those hearts made of? Peppa? Mostly said the cook. Treacle,
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  Speaker 1: said a sleepy voice behind her, Call that dormouse. The
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  Speaker 1: Queen shrieked out, behead that dormouse. Turn that dormouse out
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  Speaker 1: of court, suppress him, pinch him off with his whiskers.
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  Speaker 1: For some minutes the whole court was in confusion getting
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  Speaker 1: the dormouse turned out, and by the time they had
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  Speaker 1: settled down again, the cook had disappeared. Never Mind, said
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  Speaker 1: the King, with an air of great relief, call the
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  Speaker 1: next witness, and he added in an undertone to the Queen. Really,
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  Speaker 1: my dear, you must cross examine the next witness. It
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  Speaker 1: quite mixed my forehead ache. Alice watched the white rabbit
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  Speaker 1: as he fumbled over the list, feeling very curious to
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  Speaker 1: see what the next witness would be like, for they
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  Speaker 1: haven't gotten much evidence yet, She said to herself, Imagine
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  Speaker 1: her surprise when the White Rabbit read out at the
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  Speaker 1: top of his shrill little voice, the name Alice. End
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  Speaker 1: of Chapter eleven.