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Transcript

What Is It Costing You to Keep Carrying It Alone? · The Inspired Speaker Network

0:08
Welcome to Evolving With Elle, where a capable woman recognizes what she's managing,
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understands the responsibilities that she's carrying, and chooses self-honoring over self-abandonment,
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and decides to continue, change, or release.
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I am Elle. I bring the mirror, the map, and the message.
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You choose how you show up in a way that honors your capacity.
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So let's lean in, learn, and evolve together.
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I am a woman who has made it through so many things, right?
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I've been educated. I've had parents pass away. I've had children.
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Power struggles with them. I've had to deal with a co-parent, right?
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All of that is challenging.
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And through all of those various situations, I was talking to myself in particular ways, right?
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I was like, oh, no, I should do this, or this is what my children need.
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Oh, I've got to do this for my job.
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Do you see how many different places my mind is going as this one person with so many roles?
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Working, being a mother, having to co-parent, creating a business.
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That's a lot.
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So in doing all of that, I was speaking to myself in very harsh ways, saying what I should do.
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Pointing out what I haven't done yet.
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Thinking I should be further along than what I was.
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And then came a time where the weight of it all was huge.
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It was ginormous, right?
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And what I mean by that is there were big things happening at the same time.
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And I couldn't keep talking to myself like that.
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Plus all of this weight on top of me, it was just a recipe to be devastated, broken, just lay down, go to sleep.
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And not wake up for a long time.
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Eventually would wake up, but just not for a long time because it was just one sleep through.
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It's like if I go to sleep, it's just going to go away, right?
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Nope.
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So what did I have to do?
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And yeah, it was a have to.
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I looked at myself in the mirror.
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You know, the famous song by Michael Jackson, The Man in the Mirror.
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And having to make a change.
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Nope.
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Don't want to change.
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But that change is necessary.
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And in looking at myself in the mirror.
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I got to be honest with myself.
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And say.
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You're being me to yourself.
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The movies of your mind, the narrative, the story.
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It's not true.
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You may believe it is, but it's not true.
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You have been receiving feedback.
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Through all of these situations.
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Is it feedback that you want to hear?
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No.
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But is it necessary for you to look at it?
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And ask yourself.
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What can I learn from this?
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So I got curious.
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I reflected.
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I got curious.
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After that.
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I began to examine.
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Who I am, how do I show up?
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Am I connected?
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Truly and honestly.
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With what L wants.
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Or.
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Was I.
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Going through motions.
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Because that's what somebody else told me.
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But what does L want to do?
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And I began to say to myself.
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Hey, you've been shrunk.
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You are open.
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You are powerful.
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You are free.
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You love connecting with other people.
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You enjoy.
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Having compassion.
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For others.
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And you, you just have a big heart and you just love.
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That was hard.
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To do.
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To look at myself in the mirror.
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To reflect.
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To be honest with who I've been this whole entire time.
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Because the voice.
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To stay in the familiar.
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And.
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Be loyal to your family who taught you.
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Those foundational trainings.
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I felt that if I.
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Stood and looked at them from a different perspective.
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That I would be dishonoring.
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My parents.
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Disobeying my parents, disobeying God.
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Yeah.
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God is a big part of my life.
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Not trying to change anybody.
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That is part of.
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What makes me.
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So.
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So.
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In.
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Those various relationships.
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Familial relationships, spiritual relationships.
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There were particular things I was taught.
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Traditions.
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And.
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Patterns and ways to show up.
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That once I got connected with L.
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I got to say.
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I can.
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Honor these.
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And.
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Take them down to where they lined up with.
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And did not overpower me.
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I didn't overpower them.
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I found what lined up with me.
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And that.
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Is how I overcame.
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The battle that was happening inside my heart and my head.
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That is how I.
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Began to shift.
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Into speaking to myself.
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From a place.
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That was loving.
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Compassionate.
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Connected.
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Who I just said I am.
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I spoke to myself.
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Based on who I am.
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I gave it to myself.
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First.
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And now.
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I'm able to give it to others.
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So freely.
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Because.
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I'm free.
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I'm powerful.
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And I am.
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Open.
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Oh, my goodness.
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So.
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You have that same opportunity.
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That same possibility.
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It doesn't matter.
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What.
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Heavy weights come upon you.
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You are in there.
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You get to find those, those heavy weights and you get to bring them.
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Down to align with who you are.
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It's okay.
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You have got this.
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So that's the mirror.
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That I stood in.
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And you get to stand in the mirror too.
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As we're here, I'm going to hold the mirror up.
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Look at yourself.
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Look at your beautiful self.
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You can do this.
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That's the mirror.
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And then the map.
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The map is.
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I will share my experiences.
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Where you can say, oh, I know something similar.
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I know something similar.
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From your own.
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And you get to.
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We're here. We're on this journey together.
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And I will offer you.
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A method.
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And in that method, you get to make it.
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Yours.
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So from the mirror.
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The map.
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And the method that I am offering you.
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You get to honor.
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How you can make it work for you.
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How it fits your capacity.
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As you.
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Take the mirror, the map.
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And the method.
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And make it yours.
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You may be wondering what's the result.
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Why, why should I do that?
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Well, let me tell you.
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Originally, I thought it was impossible.
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I thought.
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That.
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I was going to disrupt.
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My life.
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I was going to disappoint people.
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I thought.
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I was going to be shunned.
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And rejected.
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No.
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When I got.
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Connected.
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With who I am.
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It drew.
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So much to me.
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That was.
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Simple.
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It was, there was so much ease.
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And flow and I'm like, wait a minute.
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I thought everything was supposed to be complicated and hard.
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No.
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When you begin to choose.
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What lines up for you.
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Who you are in your heart.
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It's like.
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The heavens open up on earth.
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And you're just like.
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Why haven't I done this sooner?
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You become speechless.
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And.
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You're just like, wait, all of these things are possible.
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And I can make a choice.
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It may not work out the way I expect.
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But I can learn from that too.
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Yes.
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Because you're choosing.
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From who you are.
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Not from this external stuff.
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You're choosing from inside.
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And when you choose from the inside.
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You get to create what you put into this world.
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And that is the value.
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Of following.
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The map.
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After you've looked in the mirror.
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And harvesting from the method that I'm sharing with you.
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So that you can make it yours.
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Because you're more than capable.
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You've been capable your whole entire life.
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But no one told you.
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I'm going to tell you.