Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / Flat tire Andy Ride Along podcast Pt2

Transcript

Flat tire Andy Ride Along podcast Pt2 · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• peter AI: Welcome to part two of my conversation with Andy. Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. peter: Show ⁓ Pete: It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. Andy: waving the white flag. I'm done. I'm done. ⁓ We have our own rooms. ⁓ We're just pretty much at this point, we're just roommates now. I have my room. Yeah. She has room. I have my room. The kids sleep with me, bro. They'd rather stay in the room with me ⁓ and trying to work this family out bullshit. That's not working. Peter: Yeah, exactly. was gonna say, yeah, pretty much like roommates. Yeah. Yeah. Andy: ⁓ she, was like the no joke, maybe a couple of weeks later, she went to work because we had a paper route at one point. We had to survive, bro. We had to survive, man. We survived, man. We had to figure out how to, where to live, where to sleep. I multiple times I had to rent, ⁓ campgrounds and sleep in our tents because we had nothing. We, I left that apartment to my brothers and the kids. I had nothing. We slept in tents. We slept in, we would hustle. newspapers to sleep in a hotel. became a, that's when I became like a salesman. I started selling newspapers, the Sunday paper on a street corner and we'll sell the hell out of it and would make money to survive for the week and then ⁓ so on and so on and so on. So we had a paper route. This day I didn't feel like going with her. I'm done dude. Go have so-and-so go fucking run the paper route with you. I'll stay home with the kids and ⁓ the buddy of mine that worked. that I made a buddy of mine, he was across the table from us, I called him up, hey Chris, curiosity bro, is she there? Nah, she didn't come to work. She hasn't come to work in the last couple of days. like, cool, cool, thank you, thank you. I packed my bags. I packed my bags, I packed two duffel bags with pretty much just clothes. ⁓ I take no belongings, I take no TV, I take nothing, just everything that's there for the kids. I don't even take the car. Even though it's under my name, I don't even take the car. ⁓ I pack my bags, they're right there in front of the door. The paper route always started like at three in the morning. That shit was done by like five. Explain to me why she's walking in the house at 11 o'clock. Block it. And so. Peter: Yeah, you had you had to have some idea that something was up. If she's walking in in such a big time gap, you're like, mmm, smelling bullshit here. Andy: What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, all right, you're home. Time to clock in. She was, what do mean? I pick up my bags and I walk out the front door, meaning clock in, take care of your kids. That was the hardest decision of my life because I am now leaving this family and I'm leaving my kids behind. And I, and I walk out the door and I just walk. You know that when they say you have a feeling, the feeling that you get when someone's staring at you, that you get. Peter: Yeah. Hmm? Andy: I turned back like I was literally like down the block. I turned back. ⁓ at this time now she wants therapy. Now she wants to get counseling. I'm done. I look back, bro, and she's staring out the window. Just watching me walk away. Peter: Yeah. Andy: I was done bro. Best decision of my life because I'm still standing here. I'm still standing here. So that day, that morning in January of 2020, 10, I decided to eliminate all negative people out of my life. That included family that included her that I'm done. This is enough. Like literally, literally my own family's covering for this bullshit. He went, when he, when he hit that guy and robbed that guy for money, they ended up putting him in a, ⁓ like a, Peter: Yeah. Andy: group like a child group a program so he was staying like he was staying in towns away and My own mother would drive him Drive her to go take his his probation terms were she cannot be near you But my mom would find a way to go take her to him or go pick him up for the day and bring him to her so his Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah. ⁓ Jesus. Andy: probation, stipulation said you're not supposed to be around this woman because you went and beat someone up for said woman. Nope, I was done bro. 2010 negativity just fucking fuck out the door. Fuck everybody. Fuck you guys. You know, like that. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. We're cool. I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. Yeah, I'm done. Peter: Right. Yeah. Makes sense. ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, like half-baked, yeah. No, I get you. Andy: I was tired of the BS. I was tired of it. I'll figure it out where I'm gonna stay what not whatever I'll figure the fuck out luckily back then I had a great friend great mentor if you go to my podcast episode number I'm not sure what number it is, but it's called my ⁓ I don't know what number I don't know what number ⁓ Peter: ⁓ wait, wait, hold on, hold on. What number again? I don't know what number. ⁓ Pete, you don't know what numbers are? Listen, when you all hear this conversation, go listen to our second ⁓ conversation, me and Andy have, because he gives me hell about, ⁓ you don't put numbers in your episodes, Pete? Okay. Well, know what, Andy, you how many I've got? Like, you want to go back and number all? Go ahead. Be my guest. Andy: you Now you got me searching for it, bro. Now you got me searching for it. Go ahead and keep talking on your podcast while I find it. Peter: You know what saying? but dude, I feel it totally because I was the same way when the girls mom was like that too. We got into it pretty bad. ⁓ You know, I was I was horrible. Those poor kids, man, probably abusive. I was fucking threatening to hit them. I hit them a couple of times here and there. All these things I'm not proud of. I was drinking a lot. I was not sleeping at all. She was cheating. And I knew it too. And the whole time she tried to tell me, ⁓ you're just making things up in your head because the individual she was with. It was, it's a brother. Oh, it's a cousin. Kept changing it to try and confuse me. I'm like, no, see, I'm really good memory wise and people I've met before. I've never met your friend. I never met this other dude that you claim is, it's a brother and it's a cousin, this and that. mind you, this woman during a hurricane decided she was going to go over there and hook up this guy rather than stay home with her own damn kids. I'm like, now, granted, she's in a better place now doing way better. You know, the kids do stay with her because it was a better decision at the end of the day because she was in a better place than I was and I was nowhere near. Those kids should not have spent as much time as they did with me because I was a mess and I didn't want to admit it. I just kept getting mad at them and they didn't do nothing wrong. They're just being kids. So I'm getting mad at them. So I'm having flashbacks of that. The one thing I did do, I ended up living in one of those weekly rentals because I was just like, I came home one day and she took all my stuff out of the house. And I'm at work. She stole money on my account, stole the car, everything. So I was walking to work every day. And luckily my boss too at the time, she's actually younger than me. One of the youngest GMs that were in the company I worked for. Andy: Yeah. Yeah. Peter: She was really cool. She understood exactly what's going on. was like, hey, I to adjust my schedule a little bit. So I basically worked from like midday to evenings, worked both lunch and dinner rushes, five days a week, 50 hours a week. And I walked home and worked back and forth. Now the people would offer me rides here and there, which is cool. know, other than that, I'd walk everywhere I'd go and walk all the way to work and walk back. They were totally cool. If I need to go to the bank, I'd take her car and ride. She's like, you can drive a car. I'm like, yeah, I can drive a car, you know. I'll take the bank deposit and drop it off, things like that. You know, I'll come in, you do what I had to do. I still kept doing all my duties. Andy: Yeah. Peter: You know, all these kind of things like that too. And she was really cool because she kept dropping the kids off for me at work all the time. then, you know, my boss always offered free food to them. Hey, know, I'm like, y'all got to stop spoiling them. OK, it's cool they're here. But I appreciate the fact that she was so understanding about they were just hanging out in the lobby and things like that. And I'm at work, you know, but they weren't really being distracted, which is fine. Even if they were, I think she still would have she probably would have stepped in and hung out with them or whatever, you know, because they didn't know they they spent more time with me than anything. We'd literally hung out at McDonald's around the corner more than we hung out at my hotel. Andy: Hahaha Peter: Because there was no room in there. I remember days we all just cramped in the same room together. know, then her mom would come knock on the door like two in the morning. ⁓ hey, listen, can I come stay with you? And I'm like, I always come with some weird, weird things just come up with and it was always like, ⁓ you need to like do this or that. And then she would always want to try and hook up. And I'm just like, I always say yes, because I'm still, you know, I just kept saying yes for no reason. I should have been saying no, like, no, fuck you, dude. You're the reason I'm in this fucking situation. I have nothing. I'm down to the three boxes in the corner of this fucking room. You know? So I get it, man. I get it. It's a rough pattern, like, you know, and it's like, if you think about it, the pattern of women you go to. anybody after that, do they fit the same kind of parameters? they very, are they cheap? Andy: Yeah. So we can get there, we'll get there in a minute. But ⁓ it's episode 38, my mentor. ⁓ Peter: Oh, okay, listen, Andy's got to cut us off for his episode 38. I'm telling y'all, y'all have to listen to our conversation. Everybody gives me hell about it. We don't put numbers on your dates? On your episode speed? I'm like... Anyways, no, man, so... Andy: Mentor Yeah But yeah, no, I mean like I said, I mean real quick back to real quick back to the I think I'm almost done with the conversation about that story ⁓ Yeah, so I go stay with my buddy Frank for a while and that's it, bro now I'm trying to fight for custody and stuff like that and ⁓ Peter: Are you fine? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And how was that process for you? Was it hard since you being the dad? Because I know a lot of times they decide with the females in most of those conversations. And then when I won mine, everybody's like, oh, you beat the odds. You beat the odds. I'm like, no, I just had the evidence that proved that at the time she just wasn't, she wasn't taking care of him. Andy: Yeah. Yeah. So I, so, know, again, I'm like trying to survive day to day hustling. At one point I started slinging DVDs because I got really good at downloading DVDs and but I survived to feed my kids, right? I survived to feed my kids because at one time my son asked me, dad, can I have a pack of gum? And back then when they're 25 cents, I said, I can't afford it. So. Peter: Mm-hmm. Yep. Remember those days. Andy: I decided, ⁓ my ways of thinking are going to change. So once I got a job, ⁓ I keep pursuing more custody time. I got granted a little bit here and there, then got an even better job, got granted here and there. But what changed to get full custody was, again, I didn't say earlier, my brother and I got into a second fist fight and my mom told me to bounce. That's when I was like homeless. And luckily I had a friend that let me stay in his house. He let me stay in his kitchen. put a bed in his kitchen and let me stay in his kitchen so I wouldn't be homeless. So I might this individual, this brother of mine just fucking hates my guts. Somehow in 2013 they reconnected, they rekindled and they got married. Oh, yes, they got married. You wanted to ask, you asked about my court custody, right? They got married. So now I'm shitting bricks. Peter: That's a real one, okay? ⁓ this is sorry, just gets better. Here we go. Yeah. Andy: This is the individual that hates me the most on drugs, alcoholic, because what you're hearing right now, Pete, not once that I turned to alcohol or drugs. am still no, no, no hate on anybody who does. I still haven't put weed to my lips. Do I smell it from the neighbors? Yes. Do I think it smells okay sometimes? 100%. But I've never smoked weed. Alcohol I sold alcohol for 12 years never really got into it. I'm not a fan of it. I'll drink Some when I'm playing golf, but it's just to kind of keep me loose Yeah, but I never I never got depressed enough to feel like drinking I heard that cigarettes to release stress So when I was in the seventh grade stressing out because my mom's gonna move us again because she moved us every fucking six months It's had a cigarette. This is disgusting. But anyways train tracks, so Peter: Yeah, it's also, you know, yeah. Andy: She marries my brother and I'm shitting bricks. Now this guy is gonna be around my kids 24 seven. He already tried taking them from me once. Now they're legally married. So I'm shitting bricks. And ⁓ my wife does a very good job at researching shit. So she finds this lawyer in Ventura. And ⁓ I type up an email and I say, hey, this happened. She married my brother. Peter: Yeah. Andy: I know I want some kind of custody for my kids. want some kind of protection for my kids. And she takes my, she gives me the first 30 minute like advice for free. go to the, I go to the, I go to the office and we're talking and then I tell her she married my brother. She was like, what? I thought that was a typo. Are you serious? I'm like, yeah, I thought that was, she was, I thought that was a typo. And I know she married my brother and I'm scared for my kids because he hates me the most, you know, and ⁓ Peter: Yeah. Andy: And then I told her, you know, also I see my kids growing up in the same environment that I did. And then she was like, what do you mean? And I started sharing her stories again. How I grew up. That's what my kids are growing up. So I gave her a little, you know, I think that 30 minute session went longer, but she was taking it, bro. The way I see it and I tell friends now, if the lawyer knows they're going to win the case, they're going to take the case. So she kept on, she kept on listening and she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Peter: Yeah. Andy: And she told me, okay, look, I'll take your case with one condition. You go get therapy. Go get therapy. And I'm like, yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. My wife's been telling me for years to get ⁓ therapy. This stranger tells me the very first time. And I say, yes ma'am. I went and got therapy. That's when I learned about triggers. That's when I learned about... Peter: ⁓ you knew that was coming. Andy: A dream that I would have that I thought was a nightmare that the therapist told me, no, that's not a dream. was there. That was that really happened to you really quick. ⁓ I had a dream of I would always get a dream, a nightmare of my mom getting off a bus and sad. know exactly where on the corner of Freakin C Street and 9th is an elementary school and a senior home across the street. She gets off the bus and she starts walking north in the rain and I'm walking behind her crying, trying to catch up to her. Peter: Yeah. Andy: trying to catch up to her. So I mentioned that to my therapist and he goes, that is not a nightmare. That is a memory. The moment he told me that was a memory, bro, I've never had it again. where was I? Train tracks here. Train tracks here. So I went to therapy, like I said, he taught me my triggers and he wanted me to forgive my mom. But then when he realized that the reason that I haven't is because now my siblings are going through the same exact pattern that I did. So he's like, okay, I'm not going to tell you to forgive your mom. The beautiful thing about that is he allowed my wife to come into some of these sessions where he told her, if you really love this man, you need to have a lot of patience because he has a lot of triggers. The multiple things set him off. Multiple things set him off. Let's go to what I said earlier. Are you really going to get it done? To me, I took that as fuck. You're calling me lazy. You know what mean? So I felt like she was gaslighting me. You know what I mean? So again, that's one of my fucking triggers. And so. Peter: Yeah. Yep. Mm-hmm. Andy: She understood she accepted the challenge bro, and she's we're still together. We hooked up in 2012 Look at what time it is 2026 and we're still together. Are we perfect? No, I just thought what I just argued with her yesterday over something so stupid that I took out of context and so we get to the the whole the whole trial in court and she you know, she she tells me to hire a private investigator She happens to know a private investigator Episode nine, if you want to go listen to episode nine, I have the private investigator on the podcast talking about the case. ⁓ huh. So he pretty much tells me, hey, well, bring me everything you got. So I show up with the milk crate, my P I'm sorry, my block. Pete, I show up with a milk crate. This milk crate is full of documents, documents, police reports, pictures, everything. And he's like, why don't you have full custody of your kids right now? Peter: ⁓ okay, okay. Andy: because I was always told not to bash the mom. So to always make it about the kids. So I don't bash the mom and this box bashes the mom. So he was like, okay, we'll do it for you. So Pete, that first declaration was 300 pages long that the judge is like, I don't have time to read all this shit. ⁓ But based on the first page, we'll grant temporary custody to the dad. And then, yeah. ⁓ Come back in a couple of weeks until I read all this shit. My regular judge was out of town, so we had a sub. And then so when we came back, the beautiful thing about my judge was that he loved reading. 300 pages, like nothing. We come back and the judge is like, dude, after reading this declaration, you guys need mediation. I'm like, fuck, here we go again. Here we go again, Pete. Fucking mediation. Mediation has done nothing for me. We go to mediation. Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: And they start asking me questions. Where do you work? Your number. Where do you live? Who do you live with? Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Have you ever smoked weed? No ma'am. Do you drink? In a blue moon. Blah blah blah. Okay. Boom boom boom. Then it goes back to her. Ma'am. Same information, same questions, everything. Do you smoke? No. Interesting. She goes to the fucking page, Interesting. Let's see here. On page 39, it shows that... Peter: Yeah. Andy: You were out drinking, you were out smoking weed. So my case was the very first case that they use social media as evidence. So they, you know, she fat checked her. You don't smoke weed? You don't smoke weed? Interesting, interesting. Yeah. Peter: Yes. Yeah. So it's great to keep notes though. I met a woman early on. That's what she was telling me. If you keep notes like they love that because you have actual factual proof of what's going on. It's no longer hearsay. These are the actual documents proving that what I'm saying is correct. And she shot herself in the foot because everybody's like, well, I want to text something. want to say that's your first mistake is you want to put everything in. You would keep everything in writing with people. It's because they're going to keep track of it because those can be used against you. And people don't realize that, you know, Andy: Yeah. Yeah. Peter: these social media posts you make and these wild things you're saying that can be used against you because everybody and especially now with that case where Facebook is now being held accountable for anything posted on their pages, you know, so now the court ruling just came out a few days ago, prior to this recording that they said that now they have to basically police their own site, which for the longest time they're like, well, why do we have to police it? Because it's your site, you know, and that's what people seem to doing. Everyone wants to post things. Oh, I was here. I was there like. Andy: Yup. Yup. Peter: You can use that against you. What are you talking about? you know, it's like if you're trying to low profile and you're out there posting pictures all over, oh, look, cute, I need to post on TikTok or what? You're what? You're putting a timeline stamp on where you were. You didn't know. well, I didn't do it. And like you said, went back to the papers. Well, you know, hold on. OK, yeah, yeah. So why is it said this here? Andy: Yeah, was always told, and I'll give everybody advice at the end, but I was told to, when I got the lawyer, she told me, grab a pocket calendar. There's a pocket calendar in the front. It's literally the pocket calendar the size of your phone, probably a little bit longer. It fits in your back pocket. On this, you need to treat it like your Bible, you need to treat it like your diary, and you have to note everything that happens. So I was okay. So during the mediation, I pulled it out and the lady said, I can't read that. I'm like, no, no, no, this is not for you to read. This is for me to go back on dates. Cause obviously she's already denying smoking weed. So they start talking to her and whatever. I'm already, I'm still uncomfortable bro. Cause it's like, she bit, she makes the biggest mistake of her life and pull out her phone and started texting her family while in mediation that the mediator fucking started ripping her a new one and told her. Peter: ⁓ my god, yeah. Andy: She's like, cause then she was, cause then she was, I just want 50 50. I want 50 50. And the media is, ⁓ no, ⁓ no, there's no way that you're getting 50 50. We're going to make a dramatic change in this situation. Pete. And I'm glad you filmed this cause we can see. I was able to breathe for the first time when it came to my kids. When it came to my kids, I was able to breathe for the very first time that the mediator just said, there's going to be a dramatic change. Pretty much. You just lost your kids, bitch. So we go to, she's not okay with that ruling. She is not okay. So we go to trial and now it's like, fuck man, it's going to cost me a fucking penny. We go to trial. Peter: Miss, who's hearing those words? Yeah, I believe it, dude. I believe it. Andy: They put my wife up on the stand. My wife being the shyest person I know. My wife said, you get one and done, Andy. She was on episode 10. You get one and done. Because my wife truly is my backbone. She got to sit up on the stand and they're questioning her about certain things. Like my daughter was infested with lice, infested. My wife knew the brand she used, the type, the times she used it, how she used it, everything. They asked the mom. She had no idea. even know what brand she was fucking using. So, okay, you're already looking like an unfit mother. Then they asked about, they asked about like multiple shit. Like I said, everything, bro, everything that was on those 300 pages, bro, have you ever drank, have you ever, do you drink in front of the kids? And I'll get, I'll get back to that. And then ⁓ at one point she's, she's losing, she's fucking losing. She already lost her kids and ⁓ she gets a pro bono, a pro bono lawyer. Peter: Yeah. Andy: And the beautiful thing about this lawyer is that my lawyer and her lawyer went to school together. So I know how this bitch works. At one point, my lawyer mentioned my mother and her lawyer was like, your honor, I'm a little confused. What does my wife's mother-in-law have to do with Mr. Martinez? The judge looked at her, bitch, are you stupid? Sorry for all the cussing, guys. He looked at her and he was like. because her husband and Mr. Martinez are siblings. They're brothers. And the mediator, her lawyer was like... I did not know that. She made her lawyer fail. She failed because she did not give her all the details of the case. Her lawyer had to find out that the reason why I didn't want my brother around my children was because he hated me. Hated me. The private investigator had to go, because the first ruling was he's not supposed to be around the children. So the private investigator, my son had to He was being bribed with strawberries, not to tell us anything here. Just don't tell your dad that he was here. Don't tell your dad he was here. Dad, look what they gave me because Homeboy was there. Private investigator went and proved all that. Then she would say that, it's funny because one day, I used to work in Santa Barbara and I lived in Oxnard. So Santa Barbara is up north and I had to drive south. The office was passing my house. So my private investigator called me and said, hey dude, Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Andy: I want to play you something, but I'd rather play it to you in person. Can you come to my office on your way after work? I'm like, yeah. mean, I'm like, yeah, sure. So her defense was that he was not a crack addict. He didn't use drugs. He was the coolest guy ever. ⁓ The power of me, the power of police reports. She made a police, I get to the office and what's going on is I'm going to play you an audio. The audio on that, the voice on that audio was the mother of my kids. Peter: ⁓ no, that's not very good. Andy: calling the police that her crack-headed husband just beat the shit out of her and he's all cracked out, he's all twacked out, he's all on drugs, he's all fucking using crystal meth and all this bullshit, blah blah blah blah blah, that we get a copy of that recording. She pretty much handed me my children that day. So we play the audio in court. Obviously this is trial. We play it all. And we play it all, dude. And then at one point her lawyer's like, so are you saying that my client is the problem? Yes, ma'am. Your client is the problem. So we get to, you know how the lawyers, go on their, what's it called? Their final speech, like the closing, the closing. Peter: ⁓ yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Andy: The my lawyer was like your honor, you know, you know, she goes on a little spiel whatever she was on a spiel and then she pulls up her her notepad and it's a photo. It's a photo of a 24 ounce bottle Smirnoff the original next to my son sippy cup and the caption on the photo said thirsty Thursdays. So she's having a drink midday with the children. With the children present. So that was my lawyer's closing argument. And I got full custody of the boys. I hired the lawyer in October. I have full custody of my boys in March. Full legal physical custody, because there's two. There's physical and there's legal. Full legal custody and mom had to see the kids once a week, supervised visitations. Supervised and she had to pay to see these kids. So Peter: Yeah. Yep. Yep. Andy: Again, homeboys not allowed to be around the children, all that, blah, blah, all got taken care of. But now there's a case of my daughter. We go back. We're still going back. And I get asked the question, like, why didn't you fight for her from the beginning? At this point, my lawyer is just trying to insult to injury, bro, because we were done. I wasn't done. And I'm like, I am now I am no longer allowed to see my daughter. Peter: Yeah. Andy: She is pissed off that we took the children, the boys and, ⁓ and, ⁓ real quick, sorry, train tracks. When my boys went to mediation and spoke to mediation, the youngest one, he's little, he was little. I think he was five. He had no clue what was going on. He just know that this lady was asking him questions, gave him cookies in the apple juice and he was living the life. Right. He just wanted to go back into the waiting room. because that was where the fun was at. My oldest son was seven maybe. I've never seen that child walk with such, how do you say it man, respect, such pride in what he just finished doing behind that door. He walked up, saw his mom on the floor crying, looked at her and kept walking with such pride. Peter: Mm-hmm. Andy: You know what I mean? Then my daughter walks out after that. She also shared her stories and stuff with the mediator. And then she says, can I say hi to my mom? Bro, this is in front of her lawyer, my lawyer, my in-laws, my ex-in-laws, the mother of my kids, myself and my wife. Can I say hi to my mom? And the media is like, sure. Pete, the door is right next to where the mother of my kids is at. My daughter walks out of the room. She runs down the hall to my wife and gives her a hug, bro. She runs to my wife to give her a hug. She wanted to say hi to her mom. If she did it for show or whatever the case was, it fucking worked. So we go back to the whole thing about my daughter now and you know, hey, since day one. Peter: ⁓ I knew this was going. I had a feeling. That's awesome. Andy: I was there, blah, blah, blah, blah. So because my daughter does have a biological father, they had to find said father. Remember I said earlier, but wait, there's more. So we brought up to the judge that, hey, you know, this guy has had a horrible criminal record. And they told us, the judge said, okay, look, you cannot use anything before the child was born. Peter: Yeah. Andy: P, everything happened after the child was born. ⁓ yeah. So my, my, my private investigator, they, the lawyer tells him, go, he's at this prison, go talk to the guy and go check it out. He goes pretty much, he's there to tell the guy you need to sign these documents that you're acknowledging that Andres Andy will be Leyla's father. Sorry, Nia, blasted your name out there. ⁓ Peter: right? Turning point everybody. happened after that point. So. Andy: He's gonna be her father and he was like, well, no, I mean, no, blah, blah, and this and this and that. Okay. All right, cool. You didn't want to the paper. Fucking drove back. So now it's us to go to trial again. And so the judge is like reading documents, reports and everything. So he's already like, fuck, are you fucking serious? Are you fucking serious, man? Okay. So pretty much. Peter: Yeah. Andy: The mother of my kids made a comment before that because they asked her pretty much they kind of gave her a chance. What are you going to do? What are we doing here? And she pretty much said you can't help who you fall in love with is what she stated. So pretty much what she stated was I'm choosing a man, his brother over my own kids. So the judge took that into consideration too. And he was like, well, technically he's not biologically her father. And then Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: And my lawyer is like, but sir, you already, when he took custody of the kids, you already gave him visitations to the daughter, to his daughter. You have it on paper that when he picks up the kids, he picks up his daughter as well because he's always picked up his daughter. What's the problem now? Why can't you grant him this? And he was like, well, you know, fuck, after looking at everything, man, If these are the kind of people you're going to have around the children, again, shit, my bad train track in 2010 when I left, she hooked up with an individual that was a homie from the hood that actually burned my son. He still has a scar on his finger. He burned him with a cigarette, right? Then I believe that he tried to drown them in the bathtub because when I try to give them a bath, Peter: ⁓ Jesus. Andy: it was bloody murder. I thought the cops are the neighbors are going to call the cops because they were screaming so bad. I'm like, fuck, I have this cruelty to a child charge. I don't need this shit going on right now. ⁓ so that poop that guy was murdered by the way. So his own people took him out. So again, example one, this individual that you had a kid with in and out of prison drugs, the second individual gets murdered gang related. Peter: Wow. Yeah. Andy: The third individual is this guy's brother also in and out of prison, like in and out of jail. Are you serious? These are the kind of guys you want to have around your children. Like does it make fucking sense? Obviously he didn't swear, but so pretty much he, you know what? Yeah. Child custody goes to, goes to Mr. Martinez. And not only are you getting child custody, you're going to be able to add your name to her birth certificate. So now I am legally her father. Court document, support, I'm sorry, not child support, birth certificate, I am legally her father. Dude, she fucking dropped to the ground crying. My lawyer looked at me shocked, almost in tears that she couldn't believe that we just got my daughter. We just got full custody of my daughter. Never happens before. Full custody of my daughter. I'm crying. My lawyer hugs me and says, this is why I do what I do. Fuck, now I want to cry. Fuck. ⁓ Peter: I mean, it's powerful, man. I mean... Andy: It was a- it was a beautiful fucking day, Peter: It was, man. It's awesome. mean, you it's, it's, it's you won against the system. Even the judge recognized that the people that she had in her life were just that terrible. And it's like, are you seriously kidding me right now? Like, you know, you want to keep a kid around this kind of stuff? What are you going to teach this kid? But it's awesome, man. Andy: I told her, I told her before that bro, be grateful that you found a man that loves his kids and that loves a daughter that biologically is not even his, you know? So, yeah dude, we got full custody and then maybe like a year later my wife and I got married and this is where the blessing started bro, even more. My wife and I got married in January of 15. Peter: Exactly. Andy: And I go to my private investigator and I say, hey, here's your monthly payment. And he's okay and he's making notes. You can hear him on this, you know, hey, what day did you and your wife get married? And I'm like, oh, on this day, it's okay. I take my invoice like I do every month and I start walking away. He said, hey, look at your invoice. $3,000 bill, wiped clean. He gave me a $3,000 wedding gift. Peter: Yeah. That's awesome. Andy: Fast forward 2017, two years later, I'm making my monthly payments to my lawyer now. I become friends with this private investigator. Like I said, episode nine, he's on there, and we pretty much share this story. He... ⁓ We are now, the mother of my kids ends up deciding to, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna take off to Oregon. She doesn't even fucking tell her kids, which broke my daughter's heart because at this point, my daughter's 11, 12, bro. She has a relationship with her mom. know, she loves her mom and she takes off. At the same time, we come to visit my family out here. My wife, my mother-in-law, my new siblings and stuff. And my son has the idea of like, why don't we move out there? Peter: Yeah. Andy: which is where we live at now. We go back to court homeboy finds homegirl finds out that we're going to move. So she comes back home and she tries to stop us. She tried to stop us. And my lawyer told, ⁓ my lawyer told, like, like she had first told me when I told her the idea of moving out of here, out of, of off start, she said, that would be a great idea. That'd be a great idea for you and the children because you guys have experienced so much trauma over here that this town Peter: Yeah. Andy: It's nothing but bad memories. And we go back to the train track conversation. I was just there recently and I was just there a few months ago and it was like at that same fucking intersection, fucking having, yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Peter: Mm-mm. Yeah, I remember we touched on this in our interview too. I remember we were talking about how you were having flashbacks in that moment and things like that, which is understandable because you're like, hadn't been here next amount of time and it's like, I already could just still feel the emotions. And we covered that because the body remembers these things. Your mind may not totally remember a lot of things, you know, and stuff like that too. But you know, that's exactly what you said too. Andy: Yeah, yeah. So she, like I said, her priority was the well-being of us, my mental state, the kids' mental state. That was her concern. And I'm telling you, bro, that bill is at $60,000 right now. And she told me, you get these kids out of Oxnard? And she has a heart-to-heart conversation with me. Mr. Martinez, the moment I took your case, I knew you couldn't afford me. I knew that you weren't going to be able to pay this freaking fee. But I took your case anyways because I knew that you were a great father. So get your kids out of Oxnard and I will wipe your bill clean. $60,000 bro. She goes, send me proof. Okay. We move out here. We agreed. Mother-in-law has this house ready for us. We move out here. The first bill that comes in my name to the house. Peter: That's awesome. Andy: I ship her a copy. Bill clean? Bill clean? And that's the one thing that I say like, because you know, in my 20s, I was a piece of shit individual because I got told earlier, I grew up being I grew up in a negative environment where I thought being a piece of shit person was a good was was normal, you know, until karma came knocking on my door. That's my podcast ⁓ promo until karma came knocking on my door. So all my brothers that come around now and they see like, fuck, he's a different person. And that's what I tell them. If I was still this piece of shit person that I was back in my 20s. I wouldn't be blessed the way that I am. And I'm being blessed. I have full custody of my kids. I have a wife that fucking adores me no matter what I fucking do. No matter pretty much my fucking triggers, my fucking outbursts, my fucking tantrums. Woman fucking adores me and I ask her, I don't even know why. Shit. Peter: We call that a real one. That's what we call it. We call that a real one because she gets it, man. She's been through the ride with you. She understands. She sees it in the heart. You're a good person. You have faults, but at least you're doing something about them though. You couldn't be sitting there doing nothing. You know what saying? Andy: She. She yeah She stopped going to school. She was going to school for child development To be a teacher. She stopped going to school for seven years She didn't work for seven years and that was the toughest seven years of my life, but financially but She raised the kids she stayed home to raise the kids She stayed home to raise the kids the way that she was raised not the way that I was raised because she's still raising me she still reminded me where I'm fucking up and Peter: Mm-hmm. Andy: She raised our kids to be well mannered, well respected individuals. They can come up to you and shake your hand, a real handshake. They make sure that when we go to an event, they say hi to everybody in the room before they get on their phones or before. They are very polite. Maybe at home they act like little fools, but in public, my daughter, my daughter at 16 years old, she went to go live back with her mom because after five years, I just couldn't do it anymore. They were just working on Peter: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Andy: getting under my skin and it did a very good job at that. So she went back to live with her mom. I didn't talk to my daughter for a couple of years until I got a phone call from a friend and say, Hey dude, I just bumped into your daughter. I'm like, Oh really? She goes, yeah. I'm like, well that's more of a conversation you've had with her than I've had in the past five years for three years. And he's like, well, you know what, bro? I don't want to bring up bad memories, I just want to tell you that you did a good job. I'm like, what do mean? Well mannered, sir, pardon me. Words that never came out of her mom's vocabulary. So I know that that child is all you. So kudos to you, bro. ⁓ shit, thanks, man. Thank you. And good because, you know, like I said, something happened in the universe because a couple of later, my daughter reached out, dad, can we start over? Yes, baby, we can start over. And ⁓ now she sees things for herself. But yeah, dude, mean, honestly, Peter: Yeah. Andy: I'm going to give advice right now. I don't know how much longer we got bro. We're pushing. Yeah. Okay. We got, I'm going to give, I'm going to, I'm going to give advice to both parties here. I'm going to give part advice to the person that's, I'm not saying the mom, because in this case, dads can be petty too. I'm going to give advice to both sides of the party. One, if you're, if you're the other parent is trying to see his child. Peter: No, you can. We're gonna restart Wrappin' Up Senior, but it's alright. This'll be a two-parter anyway, so no big deal. Mm-hmm. Andy: the more and more you deny the parent from seeing his child, the more and more in life later on that child is going to lose respect for you. And, you know, I've said before, my son one day came up to me and said, dad, you're not an asshole. He was like seven years old. Dad, you're not an asshole. Like, the fuck, I was shocked. I'm like, excuse me. What is your definition of an asshole, mijo? He's like a really mean person. I'm like a really mean person. Yeah, like. Okay, what gives you the idea that I'm not an asshole? ⁓ because my mom was always saying that you're an asshole, but I don't believe it. Como mijo. As long as you don't believe it, doesn't matter. They don't respect their mom because of all the years of them hearing negative bullshit about their dad. So parents that are going through the same bullshit right now, don't bash the other parent. At the end of the day, man, it's gonna bite you in the ass, you know? Second, Never tell a dad or a mom that their kids don't love them. Never tell that person that they don't pay enough child support or they don't pay enough to see their children because they will bite you in the ass. Because when I got full custody of my kids, she had to pay a location to see her kids once a week. She had to pay to see her kids. She once told me my kids didn't love me. They don't want me around. Peter: Yeah. Andy: Two weeks of my life that hurt me like hell, I stopped calling my kids. I stopped picking up my kids to teach her a lesson. Bro, kids love me, man. They either like call dad, dad, dad. Okay, cool. They never tell me my kids don't love me because that's obviously not true. So please, please, please, please never tell the other parent that your kids don't need them or love them because speaking from experience, my kids want nothing to do with their mom. And they... My son, my 18 year old son, almost 19 year old, is going to college and just got a job. I did not see him for three or four days straight. And he tells my wife I miss my dad. I haven't seen my dad in a couple of days. He wakes up super early in the morning on Thursday just to have a small conversation with his dad while his dad's getting ready to go to work. that little bit bro their kid my kids don't love me apparently right so please parents please please please if you guys are going through some bullshit please don't be petty please don't be petty it's gonna bite you in the ass trust me it's gonna bite you in the ass now for the parents that are out there actually trying to be parents and and be there for their kids Peter: Yep. Andy: I'm going to tell you right now, I said earlier there's a milk crate that I took to my private investigator to look at everything. Police reports, pictures, ⁓ just all kinds of shit, documents, court documents and everything. You do not win your kids custody with hearsay. You don't. You win custody of your children on fax. Get yourself a pocket calendar and write everything down. Does it matter? The simplest stupidest bullshit. You might think it's stupid, but it helped me. On this day I called my children, spoke to them for five minutes. On this day I called my children, she ignored my phone calls three times. On this day I picked up my children, they looked like shit. Peter: Mm-hmm. Andy: On this day I picked up my children from this time to this time she was 15 minutes late. So on and so on. Everything. My son just found that book and I had to stop him from reading that book because even though he's 18, I don't feel he's mature enough to read that fucking book. Cause he started reading it and was like, dad, you wrote everything. And I stopped him from the part that said, I'm being accused of my son being overweight because he eats too much because I'm feeding him too much. Cause my son was a little plumpy. It was big. Peter: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: You know, the doctor always told us don't even trip. He's going to stretch out. Dude, in junior high, in high school, he went from being a little plumpy kid to fucking tall and skinny. Like, you know, he slimmed down. Handsome kid. And I'm like, kid, you know? And ⁓ so all this shit was on there, bro. I wrote everything down. If I knew back then what I know now, I wouldn't have needed a lawyer. Because now I know what's up. I've helped. I've actually helped a friend. Officer Ricky, if those of you listen to my podcast, Officer Ricky has been on there regularly. When he started listening to my podcast and being a guest on my podcast, he started using my stories out on the field. He's like, do you have legal custody of the kids? No, then your baby daddy can take your kids all the way to Mexico and there's nothing you can do about it because you guys have no legal documents. I... I've used what I know to help friends save money on lawyers because hey, you don't need to get a lawyer. Right now I have a friend that's going through the same bullshit. In this case, I told him, you're gonna win, bro. Why are you gonna win? Because one, you're taking my advice and two, because when she texts him, he wants to lose his shit. ⁓ Nah, bro, calm down. Calm down. Read me the text message. Bro, that's a little too hostile. Change some words around. Change the word you. Change the word I. Change those accusatory words. Don't use those words. He's okay, any rewards or whatever. But the reason why feel he's gonna win is because she took the kids six hours away without his consent. Peter: Yeah. Yeah, a lot of cases that's a real good way to get yourself pinched, Andy: Yep. Yep. So again, for parents that are being petty, please don't because at end of the day, your kids are the ones suffering. Like the, like I didn't see my kids for two weeks and I told the judge that and the judge ripped through a new one. Just because you had them doesn't mean that he doesn't have the rights to see his children. So parents that are being petty, please don't. You're not going to win. Peter: Mm-hmm. Andy: Parents that are being parents and want to get full custody of their kids or not even full custody, some custody of the kids, please lead on facts, not hearsay hearsay is not going to win you shit. Facts will. You are welcome to reach out to me on my Instagram page to talk to me. I don't mind giving you advice, free counseling or whatever you want to call it. I don't mind because it helped me get custody of my kids again. Peter: Exactly. Andy: I see things, my brother's going through something similar and I see it and it kills me, but I can't do nothing about it because they're not my kids. When my boy over here calls me almost in tears because of what his baby mama did, taking the kids six fucking hours up north, then I hear the break and I had to cut him off one day. I'm sorry, bro, I'm gonna call you back later, man. You are fucking triggering the shit out of me right now because of what you're going through right now is what I went through. So let me call you back. Let me calm the fuck down and I'll call you back. So I'm going to repeat it till I'm blue in the face. Petty parents, please don't. And parents that are trying to do good, document, document. Actually, my buddy calls me and says that, Hey Andy, what's up, bro? Document, document, document. Write everything down. Write everything down. beautiful thing about text messages, you can screenshot and use them as evidence. Peter: Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Andy: ⁓ But have get yourself a pocket calendar go to Walmart go to Target and it's a little pocket that fits in your back It's a little counter that fits in your back pocket and write everything down Trust me the fact that you had the time to write shit down. They take you serious they take you serious a mediator will take you serious and I think I've said enough Pete. Peter: Alright, well listen, before we wrap up this episode, we're going to ask you the all-important question. If you're meant to help out a song, what would you say that song would be? I'm be completely lost right now. Man of many words, now he's like, what do I say to this one? Andy: Holy shit. Peter: I ask every single person the same question, man. And these answers get great. Andy: Okay, 2007, it would have been Lonely Day by the, the, fuck, what are they named? Fuck, what are they named? System of a Down. System of a Down. I will play that song on repeat. I will listen to a lot of Linkin Park too. I think Linkin Park saved my life. Linkin Park and Eminem. But back in the day, I would say Lonely Day, right? Lonely Day. But as time has come to what it is now. Peter: Mm-hmm. Okay. Andy: It's a beautiful morning. Woo! ⁓ Peter: ⁓ my god, yes, okay. Yep. I like it. All right, that works. Yeah. Yeah Andy: It's it is bro. I'm truly blessed to where I am today to where I was back then. It's hard to believe that 16 years ago I was homeless in a way as no job for two and a half years. You know, I didn't have a license. I didn't have shit focusing on my kids didn't exist. Didn't even come to mind to again have finding the individual that that because again, really quick, sorry, but The mother of my kids did help me find red flags and I did not get hooked up with two individuals because of said red flags that you meet somebody and it's like, holy shit, this lady has no fucking red flags and my kids adore her. you know, blessed with the beautiful state job, blessed with the home. I may not own it, but I pay every fucking bill there is to it. I blessed to have full custody of my kids, blessed to have my daughter back in my life. Peter: Yeah. Andy: Um, you know, from nothing to now having a, my driver's license that gets renewed on his own by itself, not on probation. The probation officer told me, Hey, I read your documents. I read your counseling sessions. read everything. And it turns out that all you ever needed, all you ever wanted was a hug. I'm not going to give you a hug. Get the fuck out of my office. I never want to see you again. So yes, it's a beautiful morning. time. Peter: I love it, I love it man. All right, so the question and the reason this podcast started is if you could break the stigma about mental health, I want to ask you this question. It's just something that you see that just drives you insane out of your own thoughts. What do you think that one thing you would say to somebody is like, listen, I want you to stop believing this out of your own experience. What would you say it would be? Andy: I'm going to have to go back to the train track conversation. ⁓ You're truly not alone. know, I, I, I forgot to mention that during those times I had a friend of mine that would drive from Whittier to Oxnard, which is an hour and a half drive, just to check up on me. He, would hear it in my voice. This guy's something's wrong. He would drive. So at the moment when you're going through that dark space, those dark thoughts, Peter: Okay. Andy: You think you are alone, but you're really not. you know, nowadays there's so much freaking, you know, people on social media willing to listen to you. I started doing my podcast to just vent with friends to get stuff off my chest because that's what my uncle told me is I do, you have a lot of stories and you beat the odds to share your stories. Then now I have people like you and random people from TikTok, they come on and share their stories. And now people are hitting me up and saying, dude, Peter: Mm-hmm. Andy: Like, I want to donate for your your your cause. What you're doing is great. And so, again, like you may feel alone, but you're truly not. I. I give you a quick little example. There's this lady that hated my like, like she was a bitch bro at the store that I worked at. And I would avoid her because she was a, she was a bitch. She was not a nice lady. And one time I had the courage to say, hi, how are you doing? And she starts crying, tells me she has cancer. I'm hugging this lady that was my arch enemy for like three years. You know what I mean? And I'm giving her that year for like the year that she needs. Sometimes people just need an ear. I'm here for you. Pete's here for you. You know, I'm you're truly not alone. And I do believe that now listening to my listening to my guest stories and the podcast episodes that I've dropped and everything, I learned to realize, man, maybe not to rag on anybody or not to feel anybody make anybody feel bad or nothing. But like, just feel like maybe I just have mommy issues, man. And I truly never knew my father. That's all I have, bro. You know what mean? Peter: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, keep it together. Alright guys, with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete First Exciting Andy. Before we start signing out man, tell everyone where they can find you. I know you're on Spotify, you win everything. Andy: Bro! I am on, so the main source of my podcast is Spotify. So if you like to listen on Apple and you follow on Apple, I won't get the credit for it. You would have to go follow me on Spotify and you can follow on Spotify and delete it. don't care. ⁓ It goes on Pandora. goes on iHeartMusic. It goes on Catbox. It goes on a bunch of stuff, bro, but it's literally Spotify is the main source of the podcast. ⁓ You can find me on Instagram, ⁓ ridewithmepodcast. Just like how it sounds, you'll find it. I'm on YouTube. I don't do video. I'm nothing against people that do video. I'm a one man show and like I said, it's a hobby and the last thing I wanna do is stress out about a hobby because then I'm not gonna wanna do it. So I'm on YouTube, FTA underscore podcast. I started posting on Rumble but FTA underscore podcast. But yeah. Peter: Did I was telling him rumble to I stopped for a while. was like, I just don't have time now that I the way I do it now, I could probably do rumble. Just start uploading the videos there and do all the extra stuff. It won't take that long to do. But yeah, I I agree with you, man. Like I said, but yeah, guys hit up Andy if you want to be on the show of her man. He's really cool, man. He'll respond to Instagram. Like he said, it was his main home where he hangs out all the time. He's on Tick Tock, too. If you see him on there, he does wander around on there. So don't know, I'm not you now. He does show up on Tick Tock, guys. So, you know, and. Andy: Yeah. and Yeah, FT underscore podcast as well. Peter: Right? Well, man, I appreciate you coming and hanging out. I know this it took you so long to get here. I apologize, man. I've just been I just got a lot going on, man. OK. But then the two shows I do this one and all the other things I'm trying to get done, know, and he's very understanding, but he always likes to me our time. Well, he's never invited me on the show the whole time. But like I said, man, it was great having you and everything to man. I love having conversations whenever I get a chance, man, because it's always very interesting where we go with our conversations, man. Andy: Yeah. Hahaha Peter: You know, and things like that too. Before we start signing off, you have any final last words you want to say to everybody? Andy: ⁓ guys... Peter: Lay it on him. Come on now. Give him a speech like a Jerry Jones. Andy: Love your children, love your wives, love everybody. Have peace in your heart. No matter how much people have done you dirty, just let it go and move on, man. It's like, again, I learned to accept that at 40 years old that my mom does not love me. And you know what? I'm OK with that because my boys and my wife fucking adore me. Peter: And with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Pete for Anxiety. Guys, you'll find me on Pete for Anxiety on Spotify, all the way down to Pandora Radio, on my ex, all the down to TikTok. And as I always say, it costs nothing absolutely not to be kind to somebody. One kind act you can do to save, save life, or hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete for Anxiety signing out saying, don't ask how your day is today. Say, hey, how's your mental health?