Latest / Tone It Down / The New Health Equation: Mental Fitness Meets Physical Wellness—Part 2

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The New Health Equation: Mental Fitness Meets Physical Wellness—Part 2 · Tone It Down

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  One day I woke up and I had no idea where I was.
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  And this was an experience of what I learned to be
• 0:06
  short-term memory loss that was burned out.
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  Hello, it's Carina Don, your friend here.
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  Welcome back to Tonet Down, where we sit down and have fun.
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  Girlfriend, a girlfriend, conversations about all things,
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  life, love, health, wellness, those conversations you have
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  in between the workouts that are so much fun.
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  All right, before today's guest, if you are in LA, my LA peeps,
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  I even I saw on the part of full RSVP for this event on May 3rd
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  that we have girls from the east coast flying out to California
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  for the Tonet Up free community workout on May 3rd.
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  That is so awesome. And we're going to welcome her because it's her
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  first Tonet Up event. That is so exciting.
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  Okay, so this event I'm going to put the link in the show notes.
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  The link to RSVP will also be on the Carina Don, my personal instagram
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  and in the link in bio for on Tonet Up's account.
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  So make sure you RSVP because we are almost hitting capacity
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  and you must RSVP to attend the event.
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  It's absolutely free. We have lots of fun giveaways.
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  We also have a really fun game that we're going to be playing.
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  So just details at the links in bio on social media,
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  link and show notes. Okay. And also one other thing,
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  you know, I have another podcast called The Big Silence.
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  It's all about self-development and mental health and we have a little
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  dive deeper into the mental health side of conversations
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  and life and all those things. The Big Silence.
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  So make sure you also, aside from subscribing to Tonet Down,
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  subscribe to The Big Silence. Next week we have Bob Sagitt's
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  wife, Kelly Rizzo on the podcast. It is such a
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  enduring inspiring story of love. And if you missed last week
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  from Hollywood royalty to hitting rock bottom and now saving other people's
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  lives, we have Randy Spelling, yes, the son of Aaron Spelling,
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  the brother of Tori Spelling, great conversation there.
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  Okay. Now what you've been waiting for today's podcast.
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  It's part two of the new health equation, mental fitness meets physical wellness.
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  So I sat down at a conference in Orange County recently.
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  And part one was last week. You got a lot of homework.
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  You have like four podcasts to listen to.
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  I sat down with the incredible doctor Topeka Chopra, aka the optimism doctor.
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  I sat down with Kim Lyons, master trainer and former biggest loser coach.
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  And with your Tonet Up trainer, Ari Belgrave, and she really discusses burnout prevention.
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  And she's a wellness entrepreneur. You know her. She's going to be in your
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  sonet up summer challenge. So together we unpack the new equation that's
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  changing everything, mental fitness, plus physical wellness,
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  and topics of discussion include rewiring the brain for optimism.
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  Why calorie counting is outdated science. We've always said that at Tonet Up
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  for 17 years. We don't really like to count the calories, right?
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  And the lessons we can learn from climbing a mountain with half the amount of
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  recommended training time, which makes you think like you're always ready.
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  Just just climb that mountain girl. We talk about the truth about burnout,
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  the changes, everything reframing the way you talk to yourself after hard day,
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  self leadership, the reframe that makes self care feel empowering, nourishing the brain,
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  the nutrition link nobody is talking about. And also we discuss how even experts
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  are working progress. And that's the whole point. Make sure to like, subscribe, share this
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  podcast with someone you love and enjoy the episode.
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  So let's talk about burnout. It's now a medical diagnosis in a world where
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  hustle culture is praised, but burnout is a real thing. And I had a conversation
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  doctor to be got this morning with you about how you prevent burnout. And I loved what you said.
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  For me, I always stick to the data and the research. I'm such a data research person.
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  And in the behavioral and psychological science world, something pretty counter into,
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  I wouldn't say counterintuitive, but what came out of that research about burnout was very
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  different than the way most people were talking about burnout. And I thought that was pretty interesting.
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  So most people think burnout is I'm working too hard. And the fix for it is I need a vacation.
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  I need rest or time off, which can be true. But actually what the research shows is burnout
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  really arises from chronic stress and what the relationship and meaning to your work is.
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  And so there are many people that can burn midnight oil and can work for a season. It has to be
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  obviously we're not hoping for chronic. Everybody doesn't sleep every single day of their life. That's
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  awful. But many people can push their limits and work harder than they can imagine or their
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  limits they could work harder because they have a meaning and a sense of purpose connected to their
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  work. And so what we found out was the sort of antidote to burnout was actually understanding
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  what your meaning to the work is. And then from there, of course, things like boundaries and
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  agency were really important more so than rest. And so yes, rest is important, but there's more to
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  that story. But what if someone has a job and they're burnt out, but they don't have purpose
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  in their job, because not everyone exactly has a purpose in their job.
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  Excellent question, because I think that's a privilege a lot of times. A lot of us don't get to
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  say that what we do for a living is what brings us our passion. Many of us do get to say that.
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  And I think oftentimes entrepreneurs that have started something on their own and they have a lot
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  of blood, sweat and tear and personal investment, they do have that sense of purpose and meaning.
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  It's just a matter of how they interpret it. But I think that what's important for that is many
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  people don't where they get their sense of purpose and meaning and what's connected to their values
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  oftentimes as a side hustle. And so I think that's an important, you know, the generation sort of
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  on the cusp of mine and right below mine research tells us they have literally the most side hustle
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  than any other generation. They're making things work on the side that tick up their passion and it
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  helps them drive further in what they have to do for work. And maybe sometimes they simultaneously
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  sort of do both and then they can take a more calculated risk and actually make their work what
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  their passion is about. But I want to be clear that not everybody's work equals their passion.
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  And that's also okay. And I think we have to teach the generation below that because oftentimes I
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  think we're told you should just do what you're passionate about. You should always do something
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  you're passionate about. Right. But doesn't have to be exactly what you are. Yeah. I was having a
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  chuckle talking to you and you're like, oh my gosh, I was in South by Southwest and then I was
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  here and I'm going to Miami and I've been doing red eyes that are two and a half hours. Yeah,
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  I'm like, girl, are you burnt out? And you're like, I have passion. Well, I think to add to that too,
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  you know, which is so interesting is, you know, something you said earlier is pause. And,
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  you know, something that I've learned very quickly is what I call the pause and pivot.
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  Absolutely. Everybody's going to have that time, whether you call it burnout or just
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  pure exhaustion or you just need a break. Midlife is no joke. You are shuffling everything in
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  the universe from teenagers to jobs to families to, I mean, we take on it all and it's really hard
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  to do everything. So what you have to do is pause. And it's not a vacation. It is a you pause
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  and you pivot. And that pivot is when you set up systems. And, you know, I don't know if all of you
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  are watching Gary breakfast, but he put up his morning routine. And I would bet that 90% of the
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  people in the room went, oh my gosh, I mean, it's all these things that he does. And I look at it.
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  And I'm like, I do all of those things minus the cold plunge in about 15 minutes because my
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  systems are in place. When I look at fitness, I put it in three buckets. You've got the physical,
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  you've got the mental and you've got the emotional. The emotional fitness is where we come in with
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  consistency. Motivation is great, but we're all going to lose that when we get to that burnout
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  phase. So you have to rely on consistency in your systems. For example, something I do every
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  single morning, I have a little tiny kind of a plastic condiment dish. I put in my essential
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  amino acids. I put in my creatine. I put in my colostrum. I put in a little bit of fiber.
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  Every morning, it takes me five seconds. I set up seven of those little containers. But each
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  morning, I set one out. I throw it in a cup. I throw some almond milk. I stirred up and I
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  swig it down. It doesn't take me any time at all. But now I have a system in place that has helped
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  me provide my body with a nutrients that's going to help me get through that stress.
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  And I have about 15 of those little things that I do throughout the day. Those are my systems in
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  place to help me through burnout and help me avoid burnout. So it's things like that that really
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  you have to pause and pivot. Yeah. And I want to piggyback off of that because I feel like it's
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  actually great that there's a word that is tied to the feeling of what's happening when we are in
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  a state of what we know of to be burnout. And one thing I want to remind folks is burnout is
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  stress that accumulates over a long period of time. It's not just a moment where you're like,
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  okay, I'm burnt out because we had a tough day. So oftentimes many would try to put a bandaid on
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  it. Like I'll just use my PTO. I can just take a day off. I'll take a week off. But oftentimes when
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  folks get to a point of burnout, we are in this fight-of-flight mode. You could be at burnout for
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  like a year. And what is often told is the time that it took for you to be in burnout, get to
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  burnout is often the time it takes to recover. So when we talk about what it looks like to recharge
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  our bodies, we have to make sure we're integrating that into our day to day. And having come from the
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  corporate world where burnout was high-key, born as a badge of honor, right? It's reminding ourselves
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  that when we are burnt out as leaders, we are not able to, well, it impacts our creative thinking,
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  it impacts our decision-making, it impacts downstream, right? So if you're burnt out, then it cascades
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  down to your teams. So making sure that we are taking the best care of ourselves and doing what
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  we can in the in-between, and not just throwing a bandaid on it because the very things,
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  you know, you take PTO, and then you come back to the very things that cause you to be burnt out
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  in the first place. So what does it look like for you to make sure you're handling those things
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  that cause that stress? Yeah, Dr. DePica, you're actually going to Miami to speak to a corporate
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  wellness and optimism and mindset in corporate leadership. So you can probably, like,
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  how do you train corporate leadership to see that in their employees and take care of themselves?
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  This is like my favorite topic at the lot of times. I do a lot of workshop and training for
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  corporate leaders. And right now, with the big thing that I'm working on is with probably the
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  biggest consultant groups on AI and uncertainty and job security. And the world is very fast-paced.
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  And there's lots of uncertainty in addition to the normal stressors of personal life,
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  corporate life, global life, all of that. Something that was coming up for me when we were talking,
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  I think what's really interesting to learn more about is stress theory. And a lot of times we
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  just think of the word stress and everybody has a response to that. That is like, you know,
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  you feel tight and stress is the big bad wolf. And oftentimes stress can get to that point when
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  it becomes chronic and unmanage. But actually in the neuroscience world, we describe stress as
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  the response, the human response to daily living. And so if you are a human and you are living
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  and you are responding to life, that is stress. So stress and worry are actually part of our normal
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  existence. Of course, the key point here is not the stressor. It's how we're interpreting the
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  stress. And yes, everything's on a continuum. If we get to a point of chronic stress that's
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  unmanaged, it can be detrimental to our physical bodies and our mental and emotional bodies. But
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  there's a point there before that. And I think that was exactly spot on on this starts from a long
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  time ago. It's not something that is acute and immediate. But there's a point before all that,
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  which we all have to learn better and leaders, especially how we're interpreting setback,
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  stress and things that don't go our way. And one of the most important things that we can do and
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  train leaders is the language, the language in which we interpret and label and share a setback.
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  And so either a leader could look at a setback and say, well, we really asked this one up.
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  And there's no going back. And x, y, and z, y, this is awful and it's bad. Or we can look at it and
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  say, you always have to be grounded in reality. No one's going to relate to you or have trust in
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  you as a leader if you are delulu, you know, if you're sitting there being like, it's okay, everything's
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  fine. It'll all work out. But we have to look at something and really be able to use language that
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  is more consistent with explanatory style and understand and say, this did not go the way we expected
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  it to go. This is not ideal. What are we going to learn from it and what is our next step? And then
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  further, like we've been through struggle before. This is the piece that most humans on a personal
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  level and in the corporate world, we kind of mess up. We forget to remind people and ourselves that
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  we have climbed really tall mountains before, not Kilimanjaro, all of us. We've been through hard
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  times before. We've had set back before as a teen. How did we get through it? Reminding ourselves,
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  what was our strategy? What did we do? And even if something doesn't look the same, it's again,
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  that reminder of, we've done hard things before. Things are not always easy and they won't always
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  come our way. But we're still really grounded in the reality of it and saying, well, this sucks and
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  it didn't go, you know, this wasn't what we expected. But what is our next step? So we always want to
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  move from rumination of, why did this happen? You can't go anywhere really with, why did this
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  happen? We can answer some of it, but we need to say what is our next step? And this is not the
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  whole story. So we need to move from rumination to agency. Yeah, I was, this sucks. Now what?
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  I was going to chime out on like my HR former HR head on too. And I love everything you said here.
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  And I think what is also important when it comes to leadership well-being and so forth,
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  oftentimes. And now there's a shift is that it's very well-being is very individualized and a lot
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  of corporations. And the shift that I'm loving is that we are making it very important that
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  companies are fusing it into the culture, right? It's not just sending someone about their
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  merry way. Here's a headspace app. Here is credits that you could use via class pass. It is what
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  does it look like as a team to incorporate health and well-being? And it does start with the leader.
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  And there's a word that I often use that allows for a shift in perspective because I feel like
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  oftentimes self-care when people hear it, they're like, oh, like self-care. But self-leadership is one
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  that often resonates. What is self-leadership? It is reminding you that you have to take care of
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  yourself in order to lead others. If that's one that sticks better than self-care, then take it
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  and run with it. But that is one that is a good reminder that we are unable to lead organizations,
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  lead teams make a big impact if we are not doing all the things to tend to ourselves.
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  Yeah, and I think that's really important to you and not feel like you're being selfish
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  by taking care of yourself. That's right. That's exactly right. So I don't want to miss the
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  conversation around mental fitness, mental wellness, and nutrition. So, Kim, I would love to talk
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  to you about that. The importance of what you put in your body and how it affects your brain.
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  It's everything. It's literally everything. I mean, when you look at nutrition like I talked
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  a little bit about earlier, it's the messages that are being sent to your body. And understanding
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  what food means in your body and what it is doing in your body. And so frequently people eat,
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  and they don't know what they're eating for. They don't know what that food purpose is. And there's
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  a link that's missing there in understanding what nutrition is doing for our body. So I really
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  encourage people to really break down, look at your meal. And if you don't know what that particular
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  food is doing for you, look it up. You know, you look at broccoli. You know, it's good for you.
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  But what's in that broccoli that's making it good for you? So for a thing, it's an amazing
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  compound in broccoli. With that said, another thing that is absolutely critical in the path of
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  nutrition is, yeah, you so frequently hear people say, I have to find myself. No, you have to
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  learn yourself. And that information is out there now. And I can't stress the importance of
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  going out there and doing tests, function health, less than $500, you can have 108 biomarkers,
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  might even be more than that, where it's going to break down for you what you're missing.
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  Now you have that missing link and you can go, okay, this nutrient's really low. Where do I find
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  that? Omega-3s? It's low. I'm going to go eat some salmon. I'm going to take an Omega-3 supplement.
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  On top of that, there are genetic tests that you can do. 3x4 is my favorite. And you can learn
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  what your genetic variants are. Are you able to methylate vitamins when you take them?
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  Or do you need extra this that or the other? Do you have high oxalates? And you can really
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  individualize what kinds of food your body needs. And when you find those missing nutrients,
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  you can cater to them. So really, really critical on the nutrition side to not go out there and
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  try and find yourself because nobody's going to be helping you find yourself out there. You got to
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  learn your body, blood work, genetic tests. You can do microbiome tests. All these things that are
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  so, so important for your body. All right. So I want to know from each of you, was there a moment
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  that you had like an aha moment where you realized you had to lean into your mental fitness to
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  achieve all of the goals that you wanted to achieve? Oh gosh. Can I just say yes on such a big level
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  there? And for me, it was after the biggest loser. I had worked insane hours. It was just
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  very mentally draining. I went to a very introverted quiet world where I may have been famous in
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  the fitness space, but I wasn't famous in the world. And it was very, very uncomfortable to have
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  everybody know my name, my dogs name, all the things. The gym had always been my safe spot. And
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  now I couldn't even go in the gym without every trainer going, oh, you're that girl. I bet you
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  can't survive my workout. And it was like this mentality where I'm like, oh, oh gosh, stop. So
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  for me, finding my mental health and going, what do I need to recover? What is what do I need?
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  And that's when I started to go into, you know, what they now call woo woo and biohacking all these
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  things. Those were around for a long time. The red light therapy, the sun as all the things that
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  just helped me felt grounded. I craved the outdoors. I craved having my feet in the sand. And at
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  the time, I didn't really understand that what I was craving was grounding. And all these things
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  that I've started to put together into routines and it changed my life. It helped me get out of that
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  constant fight or flight and find that parasite at the stage where my body was able to recover.
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  The sleep came back. The mental noise came down. And that foundational piece really was
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  life saving for me and really turned me on to the whole aspect of mental health.
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  In my case, I quickly learned that the body does indeed keep score. And for me, my moment,
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  which hands down is one that I always share, was when I was working in corporate. And I'll just
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  paint this quick picture of who I was at this time early in my career. I wore being able to do it
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  all as a badge of honor. I had zero boundaries. I was that girl who got it done no matter what.
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  But there were a lot of things that I sacrificed. Number one being my well-being. And one day I woke
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  up and I had no idea where I was. And this was an experience of what I learned to be short-term
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  memory loss that was burned out. And I quickly learned that I didn't need to take those pauses.
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  And that moment really was my reality check. Because I'm like, well, what am I doing all this
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  for? Right? It's not to be able to get to a point where I'm not serving my body. I'm not going
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  to be able to enjoy all that I'm working for. So that was my moment that I'm like, okay, it's time
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  to change some things. It's time to set boundaries. I can still be high performer and sustain my
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  success and take care of my wellness. Dr. Pika. Ditto, ditto, ditto. Now I'm still working on it.
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  And that's great. I'm still like very much a work in progress. I am known as the optimism
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  doctor, but I am not the most optimistic person. I love how you're always talking about that. I'm not
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  like naturally optimistic. I would say in my family, my small microcosm, my parents are right
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  there, by the way. Hi, parents. I'm probably the least optimistic person, but it's a skill and
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  I've been working really hard on it. But I think what happens is I'm a big believer in seasons of
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  life right now and in the last few years have been big seasons in life. And it's really challenging.
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  And I think becoming a parent, I have three small kids and I'm trying to run a business and
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  I'm in the middle of lunch week for my book, which is a whole other thing. I've never
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  traveled in this way. I mean, I've worked before, but I've never like, and this is such a vulnerable
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  thing. I've been through medical stuff like every season is just different. I think I'm still
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  working on it. And mindset has always been the thing that has become something that is my challenge.
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  But I have the most tools around. Doesn't mean you're always great at using them. It's the physical
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  piece that I'm really trying to focus on over the next year because I am wildly bad at it.
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  Like just, yeah, I don't want to tell these. And I don't want to tell these people. We got to
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  year on the right stage. I want to tell these people, you know, have accountability. Don't
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  look at my steps on my aura ring. I won't let you. We won't touch you in this season of life.
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  The good thing we've learned from today, that change is possible at any moment, anytime,
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  and where you're at is okay. Just know that you're capable of anything. And I want to ask,
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  I want to end this panel with three minutes left. Okay, little rapid fire. What's the weirdest
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  food you eat and absolutely hate, but you consume it for your health? And what is, what do you do for
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  fitness that you hate that you do? Because it's good for your health. Well, I know you don't do
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  anything for this is so funny. I was just on a podcast. I was just on Will Kohl's podcast.
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  And he asked me this at the end. And I was like, I am not a risk taker when it comes to food.
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  Like I like my food to taste good. And so I wish I could say that it was something. That is one
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  of my things that I'm trying to work on. I told him this is like getting outside of my comfort zone
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  physically. I'm really good at it mentally. Do you want to go for a walk after this? I would love
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  you, but I'm flying the Miami to go do a workshop. I think you want to go. I'm talking about
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  like taking food. Like if something tastes gross, I just won't do it. So I haven't found that yet.
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  But what I will, what was the second question? I had an answer for that.
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  Typically, like for fitness, what you do that you know, this is really silly. I love walking.
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  That's fine. It's very enjoyable. This is embarrassing. But I read somewhere that balance is
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  like a very good key for, you know, brain health and longevity. So I balanced on one foot when I
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  brushed my teeth. My husband thinks I'm crazy. No, no, I'm not brushing my teeth right now.
• 24:01
  And I do squats when I'm trying to figure out in the closet what to wear. That's the only
• 24:05
  place I can get it. It's like become sort of I have it stacked. That's it. Do you know that?
• 24:09
  And I'm very hydrated. So I have to pee a lot. I do five squats every time I pee.
• 24:15
  Oh, wow. I love these. I'm learning stuff tips. Girls, those are awesome, by the way.
• 24:19
  And mine's not really a food, but you guys, I take essential amino acids. And I don't care what
• 24:24
  anybody says. I've tried every brand. They all taste terrible. So it's just about getting it done.
• 24:29
  It's not Disneyland in your mouth. And I've accepted that. And I do it every single day sometimes
• 24:33
  twice a day. But if anybody has an amino acid brand that you think is amazing that I haven't found
• 24:38
  out there, but I can tell you it is the most valuable supplement out there, especially in the
• 24:43
  landscape of all the GLPs. Your body has to have the building blocks. And if you're losing muscle,
• 24:48
  you're losing longevity. So that is my one non-negotiable that I drink that I don't like at all.
• 24:55
  And as for fitness, I got to say, I have a really big library of exercises in my nuggets.
• 25:00
  So I tend to not do things I don't like because there's a million different ways to work one muscle.
• 25:05
  But Bulgarian split squats. It's a love hate. It's a love hate. Am I not right? Like it's anyone
• 25:12
  do both. Yeah. So that is that is the one that I feel like everybody hates them. But we all do
• 25:18
  them. And it's like secretly, we kind of love that we just did it. There you go.
• 25:23
  So I'll piggyback off of that and I will add running. So if I'm playing a sport running natural,
• 25:30
  I used to play rugby, but just running to run. It's just just really hard. When it comes to food,
• 25:37
  I'll get specific hair and say beats. I consume it often because of iron levels and I need to make
• 25:45
  sure my iron levels are high, but not the biggest fan of it in a smoothie is not so bad.
• 25:50
  All right. Well, thank you. And with 10 seconds left, we did it.