Latest / Authentic Living / Empowering Women: CarmeLL Clark on Leadership, Resilience, and Gender Equity
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to Authentic Living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations
- 0:08about things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:12And now here's your host, Roxanne Durhaj.
- 0:40Hi, everyone.
- 0:41It's Roxanne Durhodge.
- 0:43Thanks for tuning in again to Authentic Living with Roxanne.
- 0:46Today, I have an amazing woman that is sharing her time with us today, her name is Carmel
- 0:52Kirk.
- 0:53She's an executive coach.
- 0:54Carmel, thanks for being here with us today.
- 0:57Roxanne, it's a pleasure.
- 0:58Thank you so much for having me.
- 0:59Thank you.
- 1:00So we talked a little bit about her, and I'm excited because I think I know we'll have a lot
- 1:04to delve into.
- 1:05She like I said, she's an executive coach and a business strategist, and she focuses on
- 1:10elevating consciousness and linking it to purposeful action.
- 1:16Her programs propel women from mid level roles to c suites, and we know that is quite the
- 1:21trajectory oftentimes.
- 1:23And she promotes actionable steps for well-being.
- 1:26Her overall mission is expanding self awareness, resulting in an impactful change.
- 1:32And her international retreats, which I wanna hear about, offer women a firsthand taste of
- 1:36freedom, echoing the essence of living purposefully at NEH.
- 1:42Wow.
- 1:42That just I mean, we're obviously, that's the bucket that I'm in as I turned 60 in January.
- 1:48So Wow.
- 1:49That's great.
- 1:49Love to hear all about it.
- 1:51So, Carmel, tell us a
- 1:52little bit about your path and what got you to the space where you ended up working
- 1:58specifically with women in executive coaching.
- 2:01Roxanne, I've always just connected with women, like my whole life.
- 2:06I know I connect with people everywhere, so it's not exclusive in that sense.
- 2:11And yet also what I was born, I like to say this, I was born a feminist.
- 2:15I was born into a large family, the oldest in a very conservative religious family.
- 2:22And there was a lot of misogyny.
- 2:24And I was the oldest in this family.
- 2:27I could not back down.
- 2:29I literally, I knew that things were not equitable, and I was fighting that from the
- 2:35time I was six years old, like literally.
- 2:37So there's something inside of me that has always known that women's equity is part of the
- 2:46work that I do and part of the life that I lead.
- 2:49So it's listening to who we really are as we reflect on our lives and we look back and put
- 2:54together the pieces of the puzzle.
- 2:56That's one of my pieces, that advancing women, helping women to see themselves more clearly,
- 3:02helping women to connect in with their true confidence inside.
- 3:06Because a lot of women say, I need to build confidence.
- 3:08So like, I think you just need to spend more time with who you really are.
- 3:11And there's your confidence.
- 3:13I see the look on your face and you're like, yes, that's exactly it.
- 3:17I am a profound advocate for women of color, neuro typical LGBTQ plus all of these different
- 3:28avenues for how women are able to come into their authentic place in their life and live
- 3:35that authentic place that they are in their life.
- 3:38So that's really a little bit more about how I came to that.
- 3:42My early beginnings, I had a lot of in fact, it's interesting.
- 3:45I'll just say I have this ebook free ebook that I told you that I have, I will have available
- 3:50for people, women, how to successfully engage conflict, because I engaged a lot of conflict
- 3:55growing up when I would encounter misogyny, when I would counter disrespect of me in any
- 4:01form, but especially because I was female, and it was just very evident to me.
- 4:06So, you know, kind of a quick little aside, my collaborator for my Italy retreats in the past,
- 4:14Bridget Kukbert, she's a New York Times bestselling author.
- 4:17She's been on Oprah twice.
- 4:18She's had all of these different experiences in life and been very visible.
- 4:22But we were in Rome meeting with, some people from The Vatican about a women's conference
- 4:27that we were in the process of putting together.
- 4:30And we were three women total at a table of about 12 men.
- 4:36And one of the men who was in charge, I had put forward an idea, we were just going back and
- 4:42forth on all these ideas, and I put forward this idea.
- 4:45And, and nobody commented on it.
- 4:47It was a great idea.
- 4:48Nobody commented on it.
- 4:49And then about five minutes later, he said the same thing at the table.
- 4:53He was two people down from me, and everybody immediately picked it up.
- 4:57And I just turned and looked at him and I said, I'm so happy you agree with my idea.
- 5:03And I took my idea back in the conversation and carried it forward from there and everybody
- 5:08engaged and we went forward.
- 5:09And Bridget came up to me afterwards and she, I didn't even think about it.
- 5:14That's just really kind of the way that it works for me.
- 5:16Like, you know, not letting somebody walk across me like that.
- 5:20And she said, I can't believe, like you did it so graciously, but you were so clear and so
- 5:24firm.
- 5:25There was no question that you required the appropriate respect for yourself in that
- 5:33situation.
- 5:33Absolutely.
- 5:35I think of myself as being an executive for years and years and years.
- 5:38And, you know, I think of how many, like, at pitch sessions and things like that, and you'd
- 5:44be going in for a bid.
- 5:45And I remember one particular thing, and I was the lead and the only female in the room for, I
- 5:51believe it was EMS services for municipality.
- 5:55And so everything was flowing and everything and my partner who went in, who's also part of
- 6:01the pitch team but I was a lead, What happened was when he entered the room, and I'm gonna
- 6:08sound very Canadian here, he starts to talk about hockey, which just the trajectory of the
- 6:17entire meeting got diverted and you kind of sit there and to your point when you see it being
- 6:23diverted and you're like right like what is the way to do it right because you have to find
- 6:29that timing.
- 6:30I'm talking fifteen years ago now which is not that long, but it was like I I was like, okay.
- 6:36So how do we get this back on track?
- 6:37Yeah.
- 6:38And really what it was, it had to play out for them to have their quote unquote side talks
- 6:44before it came back to where business was, but it's almost it it misstepped everything that
- 6:50was planned.
- 6:50So I'm and I'm sure you have hundreds of those stories that you can share with us.
- 6:58What is it like out there now for women that are either going from, like you said, from
- 7:04director level to the c suite?
- 7:07Is it as difficult today for them to be able to find that voice, use it eloquently even when
- 7:15things are getting derailed?
- 7:17That's such an excellent question.
- 7:19That's really a good question, Roxanne.
- 7:21A provocative question, actually, because I have to say, and I think you probably have some
- 7:26similar experiences, that in some ways it's just way easier, right?
- 7:30It's much easier than it used to be.
- 7:32In other ways, it's gotten more difficult.
- 7:35So what are those?
- 7:36In the first place, the fact that women having parity and women being equal, you know,
- 7:42partners in situations, women having the right to have access to the C suite in the first
- 7:49place, that, those conversations have been happening long enough now.
- 7:53And there are more and more women.
- 7:55There are more women who are leading fortune 500 companies and who are in leadership roles
- 8:00in those companies across the board, as well as women who have created that are, they get seed
- 8:06money, they're multimillion dollar, billion dollar startups, right?
- 8:10Like they're doing really well.
- 8:11There's a lot out there where women are part of the conversation much more than they ever used
- 8:17to be.
- 8:17And that to me is progress.
- 8:20That we are all benefited by diversity, right?
- 8:24A homogeneous system is not a healthy system.
- 8:27We know that nature plays out the same way, so having more diversity is always going to
- 8:33benefit every single person, everybody in that system in one way or another.
- 8:38But I think the way that things are harder is a couple things.
- 8:44One is that I think there's this idea of, oh, we've opened the door, we've done it, It's
- 8:50done.
- 8:50Right?
- 8:50Like, now it's happened, which is not true at all.
- 8:54Women I live in Utah right now, and women makes, I'm not kidding you, 71¢ on the dollar
- 9:00to men for the same education, the same experience.
- 9:03It's so hard to believe still in 2025, Carmel.
- 9:07It is.
- 9:08It's so hard to believe.
- 9:09And this is not an anomaly.
- 9:11Nationwide, women make 80, if I can remember correctly, 81¢ to the dollar to men.
- 9:17So, is nationwide average.
- 9:19And then when you get into the C suite, if you actually take individual areas within the C
- 9:26suite, women are almost at parity.
- 9:29You look at it and say, oh, women in human resources are at parity.
- 9:33Women who are leading, you know, human resources or women who are leading marketing
- 9:38are at parity.
- 9:39But if you look at CEOs or you look at CFOs or you look at COOs, it actually drops
- 9:47precipitously into the 70 percentile of equitable pay, and in some cases, 60
- 9:53percentile.
- 9:53It's Wow.
- 9:55So more in alignment.
- 9:56The parity is more in alignment of I'm gonna say this and hopefully nobody screams at me
- 10:02when they see me or hear this, but into parts of the business that quote unquote had to
- 10:09really struggle to be at the table.
- 10:11Right?
- 10:11Yes.
- 10:12When I was in benefits consulting, HR, that was the main point of contact.
- 10:17So I worked for as an executive in health and wellness.
- 10:20And, generally, the SVP or the VP of HR struggled to get a place at the table, and,
- 10:27generally, they were females.
- 10:29Right?
- 10:29And what you're seeing now is there's parity.
- 10:31So that's interesting.
- 10:32And marketing, again.
- 10:34But things like finance Operations.
- 10:36Operations, maybe r and d Yep.
- 10:39A little bit different.
- 10:40So that's and where do you think that is?
- 10:42I think I know why it is, but I don't.
- 10:44I'm not out there kind of hitting the pavement with females, like executives as much as you.
- 10:49That's, again, another great question.
- 10:52Why do I think that is?
- 10:53I have some ideas.
- 10:54I think that this is an area where we need more research, Personally, I don't think there's
- 10:59enough research on this particular topic.
- 11:02But what I see in those areas that I work with women in finance, work and international
- 11:07finance, women who are top levels.
- 11:10I worked with women who are at top levels in consulting.
- 11:15And what I find is the quote unquote glass ceiling has become more invisible.
- 11:21And this is the other thing that I wanted to point out that is the reason why I think we
- 11:24haven't made as much progress.
- 11:25So, there's the idea of, oh, we've opened the door, there are more women out there, all of
- 11:30that, we've accomplished that.
- 11:31But then there's this other thing that's called exceptionalism.
- 11:35Have you, are you familiar with this term?
- 11:37No, no, I'm, I'm excited to hear about it.
- 11:41Yeah, so exceptionalism is this recognized and studied term where you will get one woman or
- 11:48maybe two women, but not more than that into your C Suite.
- 11:52And then all of a sudden, everybody like rallies this protectionism and the women
- 11:59themselves as well into this, I've got to protect my position as a woman, and we're going
- 12:04to call that progress.
- 12:06We're going to say one woman in the C Suite has accomplished what we needed to accomplish.
- 12:12And then on the other side of that, we're going to use that woman and she's going to use that
- 12:18position of her being there as a way to keep other women from progressing.
- 12:23We're going to, so really it's an internalized prejudice kind of thing.
- 12:27Internalized prejudices in psychology is this idea and in sociology where like, you'd see the
- 12:33same thing with migrant workers, where you would have somebody who was elevated to be the
- 12:38supervisor and they were all there was a lot of marginalization and bad practices, but the
- 12:45supervisor would be part of perpetuating those bad practices on the very people that they were
- 12:51a part of, this group.
- 12:52So that internalized prejudice is definitely there at the C suite level and at the top
- 12:57management levels where women are concerned.
- 13:00Exceptionalism is this idea that as a woman, I have to protect my position because there's
- 13:05nobody else around me to to protect me.
- 13:09Thinking that through,
- 13:10I haven't I haven't thought about that term, is pretty bang on because I even think, of course,
- 13:17I'm a brown woman as an executive and quite young.
- 13:20I was the only brown person at that level.
- 13:23Like I said, I haven't been there for, goodness, it's been fifteen years now.
- 13:28So we're telling the time.
- 13:31So and I remember when I would oftentimes, and this is interesting.
- 13:36I'm bringing up probably something very controversial.
- 13:39I remember one situation, and this is a pretty interesting situation.
- 13:43So I was the executive of this particular account.
- 13:45It was a pretty big account, and I was pregnant.
- 13:50And this I had to travel a lot with this particular account.
- 13:54And my contact was also from the island I was in from.
- 13:59And she gave me the most difficult time.
- 14:04Yes.
- 14:04Which I and at first I'm like, maybe I'm making it up.
- 14:07I'm a likable person.
- 14:09I'm all about relationship.
- 14:10That's what keeps things and I'm after I can whether we wanna use it as this world, this
- 14:16term, but I felt that she my sense of her when I kind of deconstructed it and talked to my
- 14:22coach about it and stuff like that was because she had had a tough time getting there.
- 14:27And I thought that at that time.
- 14:29And I thought so she was doing ridiculous meetings at 06:30 in the morning.
- 14:35I am very visibly pregnant.
- 14:37And I would be like, okay.
- 14:39Can we, like, adjust time?
- 14:40And she literally would not work with me.
- 14:44Interesting.
- 14:45And I remember thinking, wow.
- 14:47And of course, it ended up tumbleweed and at some point, we ended up switch switching
- 14:51executives.
- 14:52But there's a part of you that doesn't wanna believe.
- 14:55And I guess for me, I'm thinking just another trinity female executive.
- 14:59My goodness.
- 15:00We're in North America, and I felt more pushback than from any other other contact from
- 15:06the other 40 companies that I worked with.
- 15:08And and some of you reflect on it and hope that there's going to be a different I've got to
- 15:13believe there's a different reason.
- 15:15But clearly there wasn't.
- 15:17There's
- 15:18no.
- 15:18There wasn't.
- 15:19Yeah.
- 15:19Your experience is not unique.
- 15:21That's so unfortunate and sad, isn't it?
- 15:25Yeah.
- 15:25But what is it based on?
- 15:27And this is the thing for me that was kind of going to go into my geeking out a little bit,
- 15:33right?
- 15:33You asked some this question because your experience is like, for me, it just grabs my
- 15:40gut and my heart at the same time.
- 15:42Like, why does this have to happen?
- 15:43It doesn't need to happen.
- 15:45How can we change this?
- 15:46My background is in philosophy and social theory.
- 15:50And there's a reason in our culture in our society, and even in societies across the
- 15:55board, for why this kind of thing keeps coming up.
- 15:58It's the reason that causes women to be pitted in competition with each other.
- 16:03And I say it that way, causes women to be pitted in competition with each other instead
- 16:08of in collaboration.
- 16:10Women find subconsciously, mostly subconsciously, that they are trying to play
- 16:17the game on men's terms.
- 16:19And I'm gonna say, I don't wanna well, you know what?
- 16:22Like, it is just what it is.
- 16:24It's on the terms of white men, white upper middle class men playing the game on those
- 16:29terms instead of stepping back and saying, no.
- 16:32The game needs to change.
- 16:33The game itself needs to shift, to accommodate and embrace all of us because we all have
- 16:39something to contribute.
- 16:40And that's one of the things I bring into my executive coaching and into my trainings when I
- 16:44come into companies, is this very concept across the board.
- 16:48And it's not prejudicial against our male counterparts at all.
- 16:53It's actually bringing things into greater equity for everybody's benefit, but we have to
- 16:58be able to name it and talk about it right in those.
- 17:01I think that would
- 17:02be humbling for women to actually understand that concept.
- 17:06Because even if you're like, it's based out of, I'm gonna say scarcity and I fear, often say
- 17:14that with a lie ship and all that's happened in companies, one would assume, and I felt like
- 17:20the younger generations have had it a lot easier, but maybe not Like you said, the glass
- 17:25ceiling is now a It's invisible.
- 17:29It's more invisible now than it was More invisible now, And I would not have thought
- 17:33that.
- 17:34So you're really kind of having me think about that because my thing is, and everything that I
- 17:39do with the work that I do, the fact that I went into psychology and stuff like that and
- 17:45the books that I've written is all about the collaborative element and also my my
- 17:50background.
- 17:50Right?
- 17:51Like, growing up in a little island and village, that kind of stuff.
- 17:54And when you go out there, you're just trying to do your best job possible.
- 17:58Exactly.
- 17:59And not not expecting that sometimes my allies were actually more male than they were female
- 18:05back in my time.
- 18:06And that's actually really accurate.
- 18:09There I when I was growing up, I had one female boss after another who was highly emotionally
- 18:15abusive, and my male bosses loved me.
- 18:18And we had great connection and collaboration, for which I'm very grateful.
- 18:23The next step that we have to look at is, are those bosses also figuring out how to mentor us
- 18:29as women into the positions that we want or to be able to take over from them, right?
- 18:35Cause that's the next level that we have to look at.
- 18:38Back to the issue with women, what I take on and what I lead in the work that I do is
- 18:43helping women break down these artificially constructed barriers that have been
- 18:48enculturated in them from early on, right?
- 18:51The playground, girls sizing each other up and doing the mean girl thing, like all of that.
- 18:56I cannot spend any time on that.
- 18:59Like, we don't have time to spend on that.
- 19:00We have things to do.
- 19:02We have dreams to create and goals to accomplish, right, as women.
- 19:06And we get there better and faster when we actually support each other.
- 19:10This shouldn't be this competitive contest for who, who is able to, at the expense of anybody
- 19:17else being able to get further.
- 19:19That's a scarcity mindset for sure.
- 19:21And also it's a mindset that does not build legacy.
- 19:24If we want it to be better for all women, including ourselves, we have to open that door
- 19:29wider and wider with every single thing we do, every opportunity we are able to create for
- 19:34ourselves.
- 19:35When I hear in Utah, where I am right now, there's a lot of work to actually help women
- 19:41see and recognize that concept.
- 19:44How do we open the door wider for others, especially for women and women of color?
- 19:49Like, that's a big one here, because I think people don't see it.
- 19:52When I start to go into those statistics about what women make, if I now lay out all the
- 19:57statistics for, native tribal women, if I lay out the statistics for black women, for Asian
- 20:03women, I can start to break it all down.
- 20:06Yeah, the hard facts are the hard facts, right?
- 20:08It's one thing to say, Oh yeah, we've got parity.
- 20:10But again, it depends on the industry you're in, obviously.
- 20:14So I wanna talk a little bit more about culture.
- 20:16Right.
- 20:17So talk we wanna get women recognizing, like you said, their behaviors and how they may be
- 20:23impeding their capacity to to grow, but also to be assisting others around them.
- 20:31What is happening at the higher levels of corporate culture now to assist that?
- 20:39Like, we're saying we're not at parity.
- 20:41They're being done like a placard that just kinda gets put up and then and there's no
- 20:47shift?
- 20:48That's a good leading question for us.
- 20:52I'm gonna say at the upper levels, one of the biggest challenges women and women of color
- 20:59face is isolation, right?
- 21:01There are so few of us, or I should say you, women and women of color at the top levels,
- 21:07right?
- 21:08That we don't realize that we have to put the armor on all the time.
- 21:12Think about that, right?
- 21:13You've been in those situations, Roxanne.
- 21:15And you just go in.
- 21:16Right?
- 21:17Like, when you're dealing Yeah.
- 21:18With lawyers, you go in and you just accept I'm gonna get kind of browbeaten today if I've been
- 21:22in with physician.
- 21:23You're just kinda going in and you're doing it, but you're not I'm not thinking or I wasn't
- 21:28thinking about the color of my skin.
- 21:29That's the last thing.
- 21:30I'm just thinking it lastly.
- 21:31I'm just gonna go in there, do my thing, show the value of what we're offering the company,
- 21:37and then just going from there.
- 21:38So sometimes, I'm not sure that I saw the barriers because I just didn't see barriers.
- 21:44And if things didn't work out, I more than likely would have thought it was a different
- 21:48reason.
- 21:49Maybe I the pitch didn't go good enough for a different reason.
- 21:52So I think it's interesting that we're talking about this and, you know, how they
- 21:55I've I've had had that that same conversation with so many women, and there's something in
- 22:00that I want to say.
- 22:01First of all, it is threatening when we finally get to that moment of realizing we're dealing
- 22:06with that kind of prejudice, right?
- 22:08It's threatening.
- 22:08We have to then contend with that reality, and there's something to be said for not giving it
- 22:13time.
- 22:14I totally At the same time, when I have worked with women and I bring this up, all of a
- 22:20sudden, like a light goes on, and they realize that a part of their power that had been pulled
- 22:26away from them, that they hadn't realized suddenly came back into them, right?
- 22:31That, oh, this is not okay.
- 22:34And that recognition can be really helpful and really powerful for all of us as women.
- 22:40When I lead these groups, I make sure that all of the white women in the group understand that
- 22:45the women of color in the group do not have the same opportunities that they do and they need
- 22:51to see it, recognize it and do something about it every Don't
- 22:54you think that's hard sometimes though because I've been around my white colleagues and they
- 22:59because they they see okay.
- 23:01People that are see all I they see is capacity.
- 23:05Your ability, Roxanne or Carmel, like, they don't see and sometimes it's almost like it's
- 23:12hard for people to accept that if you or I entered a pitch room or we were going for the
- 23:17same job that, in fact, there would be a difference in how not everybody, and I think we
- 23:23have come such a long way that, in fact, there would be a different ranking because we don't
- 23:28wanna we don't wanna I don't wanna believe that, first of all.
- 23:31I don't wanna believe it.
- 23:32Most people are like, are you crazy?
- 23:34This is not happening in 2025.
- 23:36And I'm like, like,
- 23:38it's happening.
- 23:38Certainly is happening.
- 23:39Yeah.
- 23:39Yeah.
- 23:40And it only helps us to admit it and be honest about it so that we can do something about it
- 23:44to make things better.
- 23:45Right?
- 23:46That's how I see it.
- 23:46And not every situation has that.
- 23:49I'm not gonna But say it's we have to recognize, and from my perspective, it's not a
- 23:57woman of color's job to make everybody else catch up to this.
- 24:02It's my job as a white woman to step up and recognize when things are not being played out
- 24:08in a fair way, work to level that playing field, but I can't do that if I can't see
- 24:14what's been the water I've been swimming in all along.
- 24:16So I have to do better at seeing the water I'm swimming in.
- 24:20All of that to be said, or all of that's saying that the bigger picture that we're talking
- 24:26about is how do women at this higher level not stay isolated, right?
- 24:32It's really important for women at the C suite and member management levels to learn how to
- 24:36build deep connections on their own terms, to hold their own ground, right?
- 24:42And this is
- 24:43going to tie in what
- 24:44we were just talking about, hold their own ground, feel confident in who they are to such
- 24:50a degree that they open the doors for everybody else to catch up to more equity across the
- 24:57board.
- 24:58Right?
- 24:59We can all say meritocratic advancement, except that the field wasn't level to begin with.
- 25:06So, have to take that into account.
- 25:08We have to recognize that all of these subtle ways of seeing and decision making have been
- 25:14wrapped around one specific way.
- 25:17And we have to step back and expand what we see.
- 25:20We have to expand all the different ways that success can look, the different people that it
- 25:26comes through.
- 25:27So, I want to say that, and then to say Deloitte came out with some really amazing
- 25:33research and Forbes actually published about it extensively at different times called the
- 25:39multiplier effect.
- 25:41And the multiplier effect for everybody who doesn't know is this.
- 25:45For every one woman you have at that top level, partner, C suite, whatever it is, you will have
- 25:52an exponential number of women cascading down through the organization.
- 25:58So, the more we can build women into, and honestly, I don't mean in any kind of back
- 26:07backdoor kind of way, but build women into these positions, it opens the door for other
- 26:13women.
- 26:13There's a lot of efforts being made to, oh, we need to just hire more women, and they'll come
- 26:18up through the ranks and all of that.
- 26:20But that's not actually, it doesn't work.
- 26:23The research has shown that that doesn't work.
- 26:24What works is, let's continue to work on advancing our mid and upper level women.
- 26:31And as we advance them, it creates the pathways automatically for other women to advance.
- 26:37So once you get two women into the C suite or three women into the C suite, all of a sudden
- 26:43you see the multiplier effect really kick in.
- 26:46The reverse multiplier is also a factor.
- 26:49If a company does not create a space for women that is accepting, right, like, and embracing
- 26:58at that top level, and that woman leaves, you will see women leaving through the
- 27:04organization, top women leaving throughout the organization all the way down within a matter
- 27:08of a year to two years.
- 27:10So, you can lose top talent if you don't work to actually create a culture of parity and
- 27:18recognition and equal
- 27:19So there's substantiated facts to support, not just it's a nice to have.
- 27:25Of course, we know about creativity and diversity of thought and all those things, but
- 27:29so many amazing things.
- 27:32Now you talk a lot about working with women and self awareness.
- 27:36So tell us a little bit about some of the things that you do.
- 27:38I know you do retreats.
- 27:40What else do you do, Carmel?
- 27:42So I started the international retreats from my own journey at a time in my life where I had to
- 27:49start from scratch all over again.
- 27:51And I know there are a lot of women out there who've had their own experiences or are having
- 27:55their own experiences like that.
- 27:57What do you do when you find that every rug has been pulled out from underneath your feet and
- 28:02you have to reinvent completely?
- 28:05So I started my retreats from this place of realizing as I started to travel at that point
- 28:12all over the world and took my business from two brick and mortar offices to completely
- 28:17online in 2014 so that I could travel and live from anywhere, I realized that there was such a
- 28:24deeper level of confidence and self awareness and self respect that was building in me,
- 28:30knowing that I could go anywhere in the world, Roxanne, that I could figure it out.
- 28:34I could make it work fantastically, and I could be successful.
- 28:38So I created these more adventures than retreats.
- 28:42Call them retreats because people recognize what that is.
- 28:45But these adventures to bring women into a space where they realize that they are inside
- 28:54that capable, that the world is big enough for them and they are big enough for the world.
- 28:59Wow.
- 28:59That sounds amazing.
- 29:01Yeah.
- 29:01Sounds amazing.
- 29:02It's getting to play, but you're getting to grow at the same time
- 29:05Yeah.
- 29:05In different parts of the world.
- 29:07That's when we're unfamiliar, the level of creativity and space that we create to grow, it
- 29:15sounds like that's a nice place that you created for them.
- 29:18Yes.
- 29:20So then to take that a little bit further, when I take women on the retreats and adventures,
- 29:27what ends up happening for them in their lives when they come back is this process of
- 29:32reinvention.
- 29:33You talk about this podcast is authentic living, right?
- 29:36That is the core of this focus, this, that I do with women realize that the vocation, the
- 29:45career that they've been in doesn't serve them anymore, or maybe the job itself is not the fit
- 29:50for them, or they've outgrown it, or it's toxic and they need to change it.
- 29:54The relationship that they've been avoiding is they dive in or the relationship that needs to
- 30:00be challenged or ended or whatever, like big changes in life, right?
- 30:06Healing of relationships, setting big healthy boundaries, those are the results of these
- 30:13kinds of world adventures.
- 30:15That's what I'm-
- 30:16It sounds amazing.
- 30:17Sounds like a very it's from the pupa to the butterfly kind of Yes.
- 30:22Space where you spend some amazing time.
- 30:25So, Carmel, this has been an amazing conversation.
- 30:29So for people that are wanting to know more and to learn more, you shared such wisdom with us
- 30:34today.
- 30:35Any last words before you tell people where to connect and follow you on social?
- 30:41Yeah.
- 30:41I would say the first thing I would say is that when I work with my women executives or women
- 30:49in their careers, we're getting them really clear about where they're most aligned, where
- 30:53they fit, and how they create their life and work fully, this work life balancing, on their
- 31:00terms the way they want.
- 31:01So that's a big part of it, and then how they're able to increase and advance their own
- 31:08income or their revenue for their businesses, if that's the case.
- 31:12Those are big goals for me because they can create so much change out of those kinds of
- 31:17goals and those accomplishments.
- 31:19So, if women want to get in touch with me, they can reach out directly to me through direct
- 31:25message on LinkedIn or on my website, carmelclark.com, and I would love to just have
- 31:30a conversation.
- 31:31Even if I can just offer something that's going to help somebody right then and there in that
- 31:35moment to advance, and we don't end up working together.
- 31:38I've been doing that for years.
- 31:39So please don't hesitate to reach out.
- 31:41I would love to do that.
- 31:42And also I'll just mention again, Women How to Successfully Engage Conflict, the e book.
- 31:47That will be available as well, because women, it's about women's freedom.
- 31:51Like, we need to engage important and necessary conflicts and not avoid them.
- 31:56We need to have a life that's not an avoidant life where conflict is concerned.
- 32:01And when we can do that, I think we can make real and big changes in the world.
- 32:08What a pleasure.
- 32:09What am I walking away with?
- 32:10I guess that concept of exceptionalism is really has resonated with me.
- 32:16When you do notice it, if you are aware of it, what role should I be playing to ensure that I
- 32:24am not perpetuating something that I'm not aware that I'm doing.
- 32:28And to think, how could I extend that hand having been there myself?
- 32:33You're aware that it does exist.
- 32:35And for others out there, if you have the capacity in whatever way to assist others to
- 32:41think what is it something small that I can do to help someone along because we've all been
- 32:46there.
- 32:47So everyone, thanks so much for hanging out with us again.
- 32:50Write a review for us on iTunes or Spotify.
- 32:53It allows me the capacity to have amazing guests like Carmel on.
- 32:57And what's new with me is the our our course on resilience for burnt out leaders, they're
- 33:02running, and they're starting, again in January.
- 33:05So I would if you want more information about it, just reach out to me at roxanneroxanderhoch
- 33:11dot com.
- 33:11Again, Carmel, thank you for your time.
- 33:13And everyone, take care, and we'll chat with you next week.
- 33:16Bye bye.
- 33:17Bye bye.
- 33:20Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
- 33:25healthy change.
- 33:27Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach.
- 33:31To work with Roxanne, visit roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
- 33:37We'll see you next time on Authentic Living with Roxanne.