Latest / Great Detectives of Old Time Radio Volume 2|Mystery Audio Dramas / Suspense: Pearls are a Nuisance (EP1304s)

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Suspense: Pearls are a Nuisance (EP1304s) · Great Detectives of Old Time Radio Volume 2|Mystery Audio Dramas

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Welcome to the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio. And we're bringing you our
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one thousand, three hundredth episode special. And I always want to do something
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very interesting for these specials. And as we're now playing the Adventures of Philip
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Marlow, the next couple of specials will focus on Raymond Chandler stories done for
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other programs. Today's is really a very different sort of story than what we
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typically associate with Chandler. It is a story called Pearls Are a Nuisance.
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The program stars one of my favorite Golden Age actors, William Mendex and it
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first aired on Suspence on April nineteenth of nineteen forty five. So here now
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is Pearls Are a Nuisance. No. The Roma Wayne Company of Presno,
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California present The Spence the Night Romo Wines bring you a playoff Suspence and Smile
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starring William Bendix and Alan Jocelyn. The Spence is presented for your enjoyment by
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Romo Wayne. That's RMA. Romo Waynes. Those excellent California Waynes That's cann
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add so much pleasantness to the way you live, to your happy. It's
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an entertaining guest. Do your enjoyments of everyday meals. Yes, right now,
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a glassful would be very pleasant, as Roma Wines bring you a remarkable
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pale of suspense, and with Raymond Chandler's satirical suspense pale pearls are a nuisance,
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and with the performances of William Bendix and Alan Jocelyn, Roma Wines hope
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indeed to keep you in suspense. It's quite true I wasn't doing anything that
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morning except looking at a blank sheet of paper in my typewriter and thinking about
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writing a letter. It's also quite true that I don't have a great deal
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to do any morning. But I like not doing anything. It gives me
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something to do, and I don't like telephone calls that interfere with it.
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That's why I have two telephones, one a public phone that I can ignore,
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and the other a private phone, which i'd better answer if I know
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what's good for me and I do. What did you say, though,
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I said, good morning, dear, How are you darling? Busy?
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Yes? No? Mostly no? Why somebody has stolen missus Tan Roddick's pearls
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and I want you to find them? Uh? Possibly you think you have
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the police department on the line. This is the residence of Walter Gage.
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Walter Gage speaking. If you aren't out here in US in half an hour,
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you'll receive the small parcels I registered mail containing a diamond engagement ring.
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I'll tell mister Gage when he comes in. Oh, I went naturally,
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I even hurried. Ellen's voice has that effect on me, and I think
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it's the way she says, Walter Dollar, fellen, missus tan Ruddick's pearl
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necklace has been stolen. So you sat on the telephone, my blood pressure
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remained Normal's doring of forty nine max pink pearls and mister tan rudd gave his
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wife on their golden wedding anniversary only forty nine pearls, fifty years of marriage.
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Wonders which was a bad year? Oh, shut out Dollar, Where's
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part of it is? The pearls are fault fault? Evidently they are all
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bad years. Don't be silly, Walter the pearl who real enough? And
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mister pan Roddick gave him to him the fat year. She seled him and
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had those copies have been still got to get them back water. What does
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it matter if they're fault? But she's terrified as a safeful blackmail. And
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when he finds out there on imitations, mister pinion, I've ever hears that
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she stole the rittle, I begin to see what might be described as daylight.
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But where do I start looking for these baubles from which your elderly employer
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is so loath to be separated? Because I know who stole so, sir,
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we had here a few months water, a hard, big bruiser named
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Henry Eichelberger. That's suddenly the day before yesterday, for no reason at all,
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all works. I'm sure he stole the curls. How big did you
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say? It? About sixty? That taste three three? Six foot three
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three? I'm sure he didn't take them, dear, couldn'tess tried to kiss
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me once? Well, oh he did try to kiss you. Where is
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this big slab of meat, darling? Here's the address he gave me when
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he first him he had the work sounds like an unpleasant neighborhood, not half
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his unpleasantest little beef Eichelberger when I arrived, tried to kiss you. Did
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it? The cruise? Are the important thing? Wrong? Ample six three?
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And I find it difficult to forget Eichelberger's address proved to be a seedy
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looking hotel upstairs over a Chinese laundry at the head of the stairs. The
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doormark manager. I rang the bell full up, bud Rogue. I'm not
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inquiring for a room. I'm looking for one Henry Eichelberger, whom I'm informed
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liberty. If he does, he ain't registered. That is, of course,
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you know, is contrary to the law. A wise guy, Donald
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Hall Jack to waiting. Have the kindness to show me the way? What
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do you know? A dunkenoller? Okay, your lordship, pick up your
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feet. Eh, this isn't it. He's done. Have the goodness to
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unlock the door. I wish to go in and wait for this Sichelburger in
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a pig's volice. Who do you think you were, Jake boy? I
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wouldn't call me names if I were you, you wouldn't he wah. Let
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just shows the difference between you and be because I would. You want to
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make something out of it? Hate? Yes? What? Hey don't want
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to say? You got twenty years on me. Hey, we'll open the
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door. Hey, I have no time to argue with you. A buck
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tool bucks, and I won't even tell eacho boy good when he comes in
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hate. That is a deal. Brother, You can hear I'll say that
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for your hand. Thanks, Hey, here's your money. You hear any
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noises later on, ignore them. There's any damage, it will be paid
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for generally. I hope you know what you're doing. I searched all the
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likely places where you might have hid in the necklace, and then I searched
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all the unlikely places no necklace. Then I heard approaching footsteps. How did
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you get in here? Study the explanation of that. Can wait? I'm
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looking for one Henry Eichelberger. You he hits you a real comedian. Wait,
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dill, I loosen my belt before you make me laugh. My name's
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Gage, Walter Gage. Are you Eichelberger? Give me a nicola and I'll
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tell you. I'm the fiance of miss Allan Macintosh. I'm informed that you
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tried to kiss her. What do you mean try? I hit him rather
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severely on the left eye than the right, and I gave him a crushing
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upper cut to the jaw. He looked at me with an air of patient
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resignation, and then hit me. I bent over and took hold of the
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room with both hands and spun it. When I had it nicely spinning,
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I gave it a full swing and hit myself on the back of the head
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with the floor. I believe I lost consciousness at about this point. At
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any rate, I was no longer aware of the time of day or suspense.
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Roma Wines are bringing you as stars, mister Allan Jocelyn and mister William
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Bendix, whom you are hearing in Pearls are a nuisance by Raymond Chandler,
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which is Roma Wine's presentation tonight of thespence between the acts of suspense. This
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is Truman Bradley or Roma Waine. We quote now a brief word from the
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famous hostess Elsa maxwells. The delicious flavor of tender broiled chicken, the succulents
8:58
of spring lamb garnished with mintly deserves the massless flavor complement of Roma California sau
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turns this delicate wine pale gold in colors, delightful in bouquet, is a
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delicious flavor mate which face or foul Yes. Just as the musical conductor blends
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the tones of different instruments, so the knowing hostess can combine the flavors of
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of carefully selected grape picked at the peak of perfection in sunny California's choicest vineyards
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and gently pressed. Then the natural juices are stored and guided with the ancient
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are always high in quality, yet cost only pennies a glass. All Americans
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enjoy a Roma than any other wine. R O M a Roma wine.
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Now. Roma wines bring back to our Hollywood downstage. William Bendix as Jay,
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Henry Eichelberger and Alan Jocelyn as Walter Gage in pearls Ar A Nuisance,
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a muscular drama, replete, the situations well calculated to keep you in us.
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While I was thinking about the possibility of getting back to my feet in
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a very near future, a wet cowl began to slap at my face,
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and I opened my eyes. The face of one Henry Eichelberger was close to
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mine and bore a certain appearance of tender solicitudes. But I thought maybe he
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was cute. Jack, You got a stomach as weak as Chinese tea?
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What happened? As if I didn't know you tripped on any bity tear in
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a carpet. Ye feel like getting it? Will give you? Thank you?
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Henry? May I call you Henry? I had no text on it.
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You look okay? Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Michael
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Berger? You swine? That doesn't cut it out? You'll must my hair.
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I wish you'd fall down when I hit you, Henry, just once.
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It would do wonders for my morale. Ah, you know you and
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naked get along? Jack? I never kiss your girl, even if I
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ain't saying I would like to? Is they're all the teating on you?
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Well, no, there's another matter. And then tell me to score only
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Yes, no more haymakers. They give me a headache. Promise I promise.
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Tell me why did you leave the employer of missus Penrod dot? You
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tell me and I what you might call a good looker? Well, Henry
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help me. No, then I wouldn't call you handsome exactly, But unquestionably
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you ate your spinach as a child. If that's a consolation, did you
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a reader? Comedian? W'd I loosen my belt? Look? Suppose you
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frow for a dollar starting a guy like me that looks like a taxi going
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out of free could both doors over thens the boys. You get a job
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where you see this doll all the time and every day, and you know
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it's no day. What would you do? Jack me with the job?
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Tell them? Yeah, Henry, I'd like to shake your hand. Go
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ahead. Now there's one more thing, one rather insignificant tale. I'm empowered
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to arrange for the return of missus penroddock pearl. Fifty dollars reward and no
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embarrassing question. Jack, No Jack. So you think I stole some marbles
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and I'm sitting around here waiting for a flock of dickster swore me. The
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police have not been told, Henry, and you may not be aware,
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but the pearls are fault. Huh exactly? You think i'd bother myself to
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hook some phonies? You mean you didn't steal the neck of Henry. Look
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they were dringers. I wouldn't be bothered if they was real, I wouldn't
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be holding and no cheap flap in la waiting for a couple of Carlos or
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judge that put their sneeze on me. Would I That's exactly what I thought,
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Henry. Well, as long as you didn't steal them, how'd you
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like the job of helping he recovers? You didn't know? Henry's obvious that
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if you didn't snatch these marbles, I believe that's the expression someone else did,
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and you can help me find him? How about it? Why not?
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Why not? Indeed you've got any ideas of where to start? Yes,
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I have. I feel that we must, as they say, catch
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the great box on a spring of pearls and stull and all the underworld must
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be seeing you got right. But this underworld, it's doing all this season,
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ain't gonna seize much over a string a glass beach, I might pressure.
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I am thinking, Henry, that the underworld probably has a sense of
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humor, and the thief who went to the trouble of stealing some worthless drinkers
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would be the butt of considerable caught jest. The knucklas of an idea that
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I would say something like that could get around the pool rooms and start a
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little holesome chuckl in ra. Yes, all we need to do is to
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locate a reliable crook. Oh, there's a gey named Louise Kandji that runs
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the Blue Lagoon downtown. Might be interested in some marbles, but you don't
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like being aged question he sounds. Yeah, we'll turn him inside out to
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take a look at his liver. Very well, let us go and bear
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this scan deazy character and he's not loaded us. Yeah, let us throw
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up. Leave us do what you said, mister scan Dede's Blue Lagoon wasn't
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difficult to find. This was a rather soiled establishments based an unpleasant blue light.
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Henry and I went to a small dim dining room to a door marked
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private You. I wanted to know. He and my friend here want to
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talk to you. Oh dog, I'm listening about some pearls. Forty nights
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there right water pipe? Right? A pearl necklace? Is somebody hoist it
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on to get out before I have you thrown out? What? Nothing?
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What about them pearls? I don't think I heard about it. Try to
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remember. Maybe if I pulled a funny years it might have. Henry,
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you seem to be doing all the work. Do you think that's quite fair.
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Well, okay, you work the mover. Fat guy grew something lesh
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take it easy. I ain't heard nothing. Yes, this guy's insurance.
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Man, man, you're cooking with Haley and do face. What's insurance come
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to you? Boys work for? Give him a card, would it?
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Oh? This is my personal card. Have my phone number one? Okay,
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okay, you you may be surprised. You you may get a cough?
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What do you think? Would you think this muzzler is leveling with us?
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I dare say he wouldn't see you above. Telling us non truth gets
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you a real comedian? Will I lose to my belt? You're giving us
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the straight good scan DZ, straight goods absolute, We'll cooperate. I'll bet
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you got a cough. Okay, so on scan DZ and keep your schnuzzle
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clean if you don't want to be looking for it out of your dead case
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and that goes to your cat too, scandy z. Hey, but now
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I think we've sent adequate day his work, Henry. The procedure would seem
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to be for me to go home and wait to tell phone to ring bearing
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glad tidings from the underworld? What about me? I would suggest if you
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wend your way homeward. Also, here's my private number. Call me in
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the morning. Okay, see you m I I went home and waited for
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the phone to ring. I must have fallen asleep after a while. It
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was quite dark when the call came through. Well, here goes Walter Gage,
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speaking acting insurance company. Why did you become an insurance company? To
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wellen? Why didn't you call on the private phone? Why didn't have a
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number? Handy, I'm found the pearls yet? Do you know you just
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got a telephone call from whom He wouldn't say all he said, well he
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hurts is somebody named Sam something? Dam deeze. That's it. We were
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looking for the pearls. Had he found out the pearls or fault? No?
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I didn't tell him. All right, don't worry. We have an
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idea how to get them back. When Henry and me Henry, Henry,
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who I'm go Burger. I've hired him to help him find the pearl you
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wanted your mind? Didn't Henry take the pearl? Of course not. He
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only left because he was in love with your Could you say? I thought
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you'd be smattered? I never want to speak you. Hello, honey,
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I'm so glad you called back. Listen, darling, you get calling?
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Honey, sweetheart? Who's this? Never mind your name? Gay? Yes?
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A guy named Santeze. He says you're looking for the moisture fruit.
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A praier named Macinto says, you're the guy to talk to. Possibly,
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Well, I got forty nine of the pals. I think when five grand
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is the price? But that's I'm sorry, those pearls happen to be false.
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Quit your kidding. You heard me five geez. I'll give you to
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morrow afternoon the scraper together. Then I'll call you and let you know where
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to meet me. Hello, Ellen, miss Wallace, I told you I
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never wanted to speak to you again. All right, I won't speak to
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you. Just tell me the name of the man who sold missus Penroddick's pearls
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for her. Galamore Roger Galimore. He has a duel with coup from downtown.
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R Walter Hot. Do you like this John? I was beginning to
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see the light the next morning, and I went to see this mister Galimore.
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He's was a tall pink man of about seventy and he listened to my
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narrative of the events with considerable interests. Five thousands seems like a good deal
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for a string of false poe Yes, indeedy And you know what I think,
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mister Gallimore. What's mister Gage? I believe that the pearls are in
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fact real. You're a very old friend of missus Penroddick, perhaps even the
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childhood sweetheart when she gave you the pearls to sell. You didn't sell them,
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mister Gallimore. Instead, you gave her twenty thousand dollars of your own
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money and retrain the pearl tour, pretending they were imitations of the original necklace.
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Son, you think a lot smarter than you talk. I try very
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hard, mister Gallimore, and I'm correct embarrassingly so, mister Gage. Pearls
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gariel. Now what would you like me to do? Give me five thousand
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dollars with which to get them back? Mister Gallimore felt much better after we'd
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had a glass of water, and some hours later I managed to convince him
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that I knew approximately what I was doing. He gave me a check for
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five thousand dollars. This check, Henry, you meanie gave it to you
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five thousand fish just like that. You have said it well, I'll be
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a Mickey finn at a woman's club lunch. Did you get something with that
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day? He change shattery years? Thank you, Henry. At any rate,
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all it remains now it's a phone to ring. You can say that
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again. Very well? Ha ha, Hello, Gay, Yes, who's
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this? Yes, you got the dough. It's in my pocket at this
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exact moment. Why I have any assurance of honorable treatment. I'm prepared to
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go through with them. Oh you get the marvels. Okay. We're in
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this business a long time and we can't afford the wealth if we did it
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at get around and nobody would play with us. I understand. What are
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your instructions the night at eight shops, You'll be at Pacific Palace Age.
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You got that? Yes, at the end of the night, road corner,
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Sunset, Corona Delmar be there at eight shop and come alone and no
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gun, no funny business, no smart working, no slip up, nobody
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get hey. That's the way we do business. Very well. Oh uh?
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One last thing? Where did you get my phone number from? San
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DC? Who? Well, eight o'clock then, and no tricks? Interesting?
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What yeah? Yeah, hooray for Alexander Graham what's his name? But
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what did the guy changed? Oh, yes, it's all arranged, Henry.
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I'm to meet them tonight, all by myself and give them the money.
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Oh by yourself, yet you're a real comedian. Wait till I loosen
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my belt, they'll take the don't leave your laying there bleeding all over yourself,
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and they'll still have the marbles. I ought to go with you,
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Henry. It's my duty, and I must brave these months there's in human
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guys alone and unattended. Of course, I do have a big car,
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and you could hide on the floor under a rug this cinch. But maybe
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the only thing wrong with you, as far as I can see, is
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you got hold in your head. All I'm trying to do is keep you
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from getting another one. I'm going with you, So I was settled.
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Henry was to go with me. That afternoon, I stopped at the bank
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where I cashed mister Gallamore's checking change today one hundred dollars all for your own
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five thousand, five thousand, five thousands. And now a roll of quarters,
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please, roll of quarters please. I think you'd be an echo in
21:59
here. Leave them in the wrapper. Oh quite heavy, yes, aren't
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they and so late that evening I found myself out on the Pacific Palisade with
22:18
Henry Eichelsberger boy in the back of the car. I was very nervous.
22:22
I think Henry was also. Neither of us were really too sure of what
22:25
was going to happen that night. Oh me back, what's the matter,
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Henry? Aren't your company back there? I'm comfy all right, only my
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heater keeps digging into me. Hey, we yet, we're getting close.
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Stay down, this is business. This is the end of the line,
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Henry, be careful. They're probably watching me. Okay, what don't he
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walking? My gun is breaking my back. We'll stop sitting on it,
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I did anything stirring? No, keep quiet, I'll make like a little
23:11
mousey. Don't you think we white? I mean, don't you think we
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wait at long and behine? Right now? We've only been waiting fifteen minutes.
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You sure this is the place? As of course? Well, let's
23:34
get out of the car and see if anybody shoots at it. They will
23:37
know if somebody's around. Oh that seems to be the difficult way of finding
23:41
out, but let's try it. I personally feel sure that there's no one
23:45
here, but you were not sucker. You know what happened Waters. What
23:56
do you think, Henry? Just to try out tomorrow? This guy calls
24:02
you on again in a phone and he says sorry, but they had to
24:04
be careful, and they'll try again tonight, maybe maybe out in San Fernando
24:07
Valley. And the price is now ten grand on account of their extra trouble.
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I ought to go back and twist that scan jeeye. So he spends
24:15
the rest of his life looking up his left pats like, well, Henry,
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what's the next move? Beat it home? I did anyhow, I
24:26
won't need this gun anymore. My back is sure enough. He stood there
24:34
and looked at one another, Henry and I. He doubled his hands into
24:37
fists and shook them slowly in his sadness. I too, was melancholy.
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In the brief time I'd known Henry, I'd grown very fond of Yeah,
24:49
Yeah, that's it all right. Nothing else will do but beat it on
24:53
home. That's all his left us. I cut my right hand of my
25:00
pocket. I have large hands. In my right hand nestles the roll of
25:03
quarters I've gotten from the bank that morning. My hand made a large and
25:07
heavy fist around them. Henry didn't notice, what are you looking at me?
25:11
So funny for a wood I just wanted to say good night. Henry.
25:15
You had two strikes on me. This is a big one. I
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don't get it. He got it thin. My fist was nearly a pound
25:23
of metal in it caught him squarely on the jaw. For a moment,
25:26
he wavered back and forth on his feet, and then Henry Eichelberger lay motionless
25:34
on the ground, as limp as a rubber glove. I found the pearls
25:56
twined around his ankle inside his left sock. Well, Henry, I said,
25:59
all of the couldn't hear me. You're a gentleman, even if you
26:02
are a thief. You could have taken the money a dozen times to day.
26:04
You could have taken it a little while ago, when you still had
26:07
the guns. But even that repelled. You threw the gun away and we
26:11
were man to man. But still you hesitated. In fact, Henry,
26:14
I said, for a successful thief, you hesitated just a little too long.
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But as a sporting man, I can only think more highly. Elsey,
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goodbye, Henry, and good luck, I said. I put on
26:22
a hundred dollar bill in his chubby little fist and withdrew. End of story.
26:26
But how did you know it was Henry Dollan? You told me so,
26:30
little lemon cookie. You were quite sure of it, I know,
26:32
but you must have had proof of some kind. Well, there was one
26:33
other minor detail that convinced me Henry was the guilty party. I gave Scandy
26:37
see my phone number. But I have two telephones. One's a private line.
26:41
Only two people had that number. You were one of them. Henry
26:45
was the others. When Henry's accomplice got in touch with me, he used
26:48
the phone number i'd given Henry, not the one I gave Scandece is he?
26:51
Oh, darling, you're so clever. Of course you may kiss me
26:53
if you like, a few months after Ellen and I were married, we
27:02
received a letter postmarked Honolulu. It was from Henry. My dear dear Water,
27:10
I have only just received the joyous tidings that you and Elean are embarked
27:12
upon the happy tide of holy matrimoniales. I am so glad for you.
27:18
I often think of you, Water, particularly with an overwhelming curiosity as to
27:22
what it was you struck me with that night. Ah Well, I dare
27:26
say it can only be conjecture on my part now a hammer. Perhaps that
27:32
I allowed my joy to be exposed to your weapon while I stood there,
27:34
meditating as to whether to take your five thousand men or wait for ten the
27:38
following evening of the human error of judgment. At any rate, I entertained
27:45
no feelings as ill will towards you. On the contrary, I am indebted
27:48
to you greatly. The ease with which you talked mister Gallimore out of five
27:52
thousand dollars has changed my life. I have been taking English lessons myself,
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and I am now press to see I'm a wealthy widow woman, not without
28:02
financial success. Ah to Julist book devotedly Henry, Yes, was it perchance
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an Anzel? I wonder you know Henry wasn't second bad fellow. All I
28:18
really disliked him for was his barberried English. Now he's changed that. Maybe
28:22
I should have nied him. What do you think gets you a real comedians?
28:27
Wait, I loosen my belt and so closes. Pearls are a nuisance
28:36
in which roma wines have brought you. William Bendix and Alan Jocelyn as co
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stars up Tonight's study in a Fence The Fence is produced, edited and directed
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by William Spears. Before our stars returned to the microphone, let me say
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a word for Roma Wine, the sponsor of suspense ELSA Maxwell's hospitality is always
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simple and unaffected. The other day, she said, a few old friends,
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some comfortable chairs, a glass or two of good Roma California sherry,
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and there you have the perfect combination for a pleasant evening at home. In
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fact, you'll find the light nutlike flavor of this glorious ambergolden Roma Charry is
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delightful anytime, a delicious prelude to dinner, a gracious note of hospitality whenever
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friends drop in. Best of all, Roma wines are so reasonably plice any
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family can afford to serve them regularly. The goodness of Roma wines can add
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a lot of the joy of your daily living. Always delightful, always unburyingly
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high and quality, yet costs only pennies a glass. And the next time
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you use Vermose sweet or dry, use Roma ver Moose zustful herb flavored Roma
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Vermooth is blended, mellowed, developed and bottled in California with all the traditional
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wine making skill of Roma wineries. Try Roma Vermoose soon, won't you?
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This is Alan Jocelyn. I trust that you died in the wall suspense pans
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or customs somewhat have your meat On these days the dramas weren't displeased with our
30:00
efforts in the interests of gaiety and in susion. So you can cur mister
30:03
Bendick will get you a real comedian. Wait till I loosen my galaxy.
30:07
Courtesy mpells me to tell you that mister Bendix here is being heard weekly on
30:10
his own radio show, The Life of Riley in Paramount impells me to say
30:12
that he'll soon be seen in their production two years before the Mann't commit me
30:17
return Save Hey, Aaron Jason is soon going to be seen in the twentieth
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Century Fox thirtieth anniversary production Colonel Effingham's Great Thanks Bell. Next Thursday, you
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will hear John Payne and Stuart Erwin as stars of US Fense recited by Roma
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Waynes are all m a made in California for enjoyments throughout the world. This
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is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Welcome back. Well uh, nice
30:57
change of pace and a very fine app episode. It can be really easy
31:03
to go overboard and have a detective comedy that doesn't work. But this one
31:11
is funny, and it's, like I said, an entirely different side of
31:17
Raymond Chandler. And it's surprising, just because I think so much of the
31:22
Philip Marlowe writ material particular seemed to come out of a place of depression and
31:30
sadness, but here this is something much lighter, kind of reminiscent of The
31:33
Thin Man in a way, though except without the romantic angle. This particular
31:38
episode would also be remade five years later, actually almost to the day,
31:45
on April twentieth, nineteen fifty, with Ray Miland as Walter Gage and how
31:53
March plain Henry Ackelbarger. But given that this is the only chance have to
32:00
present William Bendix and the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio, that was the
32:05
version I had to go with. So I hope you enjoyed it. Well.
32:09
We'll be back to our normal schedule join us on Monday for pursuit.
32:14
In the meanwhile, send your comments to Box thirteen at Great Detectives dot net,
32:17
follow us on Twitter Radio Detectives, and become one of our friends on
32:22
Facebook, Facebook, dot com, Slash Radio detectives from Boiseidaho. This is
32:27
your host, Adam graham Son and off.