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Brett Keane Updated Christian Testimony, Atheist PTSD, GodTvRadio Future · Brett Keane and Eve Show

0:22
Room at the end of the hall, dust in the corners.
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Shelf by the window, glass cold against my hand.
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Old photo staring down. I leave them face down.
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Clock ticks sideways. Not sure where I stand.
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Your coat on the hook. Silent and tough, I walk in
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circles. Memories never enough.
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These walls know more than I can say.
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Every time I turn away, these walls know more than I can say.
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Still standing, still holding pain.
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Kitchen lights harming cups never clean.
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Midnight spills on linoleum. Was it all just routine stains
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on the table? Voices echo and fade, footsteps
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and blaster every mark that I made.
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Corners go silent. I wait for the dawn.
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I breathe in what's gone, but it's never gone.
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These walls know more than I can say every time I turn away.
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These walls know more than I can say.
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Still standing, still holding pain.
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Bedrooms all open, nothing in the bed.
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I trace old outlines, words I never said, carry every echo,
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cold air in my lungs. It's just the same no matter how
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we are. These wounds, these wounds,
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these walls know more than I can say.
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These walls, these walls know more than I can say.
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These walls standing silent, watching me.
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These walls know more than I can say.
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Goes quiet, the furnace still on.
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I walk from the hallway, pretend that I'm strong, soft as a
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secret. Nothing left to explain these
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walls, no more than I can say. Well, hello ladies and
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gentlemen, my name is Brett Keene from GOD TV Radio.
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I hope you're all having a blessed day out there.
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If you enjoy my music, that was a song that I just played that
3:58
is called The Walls, and you can actually go to my front page and
4:03
listen to all my songs for absolutely free.
4:07
In fact, by doing so, you're supporting me because I get paid
4:11
every time you listen to the playlist with the tracks that is
4:15
through the distributor with content ID Yep, I get paid and
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it's nice. Helps pay the bills around the
4:23
house for sure. And you can also check out my
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radio station on Spotify as well as the book that I released as
4:32
well as my official website. With that all being said, we're
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going to get into some very deep topics and also keep in mind
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that on Fridays and Mondays at 7:00 PM Central, I do live shows
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where everyone is included. There's always going to be a
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link in the description and usually pinned up in comments
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where people can join the show and talk to me about anything
4:56
that they like. Of course I have my own topics
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and things I want to talk about, but I do leave a lot of room
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open for people to bring in their own discussions, their own
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world views, their own viewpoints.
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And doesn't matter what you believe or think, you're allowed
5:12
to come in. If you mock or you blasphemy or
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you talk nasty to people then most likely you're going to get
5:20
treated like a like dog shit. Just letting you know if you
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come in, you're friendly, and you want to have a friendly
5:27
discussion, then you'll most likely gain some new friends,
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cultivate some relationships, and really really enjoy your
5:36
experience on my show. OK, with that being said, most
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of you out there who are subscribed to me are followers
5:45
that have followed me for a very long time.
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You know that whenever I was a child I called myself a
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Christian. I went to many many different
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churches and denominations. The reason why is because my
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mother who had health issues moved around a lot and I ended
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up in foster care. Where everyone of the foster
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cares I was in, they had their own different denomination,
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their own view of Christianity and so on.
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And I learned a lot. I absorbed different
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philosophies and ideas from all the different churches.
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I can't say that there was one single denomination that I
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agreed with 100% where I was set in stone on everything they
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said. I do know that I favored
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Pentecostal, Baptist, and even some views of Catholicism, but
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not some of their rituals or their traditions or their ideas.
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Pretty much their views on how they position Jesus Christ and
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their ideas on that. But as far as worshipping dead
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prophets or Saints or the Holy Mary and all that, or the
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confession booth bowing before engraving images and statues, it
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just struck me as this isn't of God.
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I won't call a Catholic a non Christian though I believe that
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they're my brothers and sisters. I just think that in some ways
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they have a different outlook than myself.
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I called a different walk with God.
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I do believe that we all have our own personal relationship
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with God. So as I started getting older
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and even after getting out of foster care, I tried many
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different churches myself, trying to find someone,
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something that works well with me.
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And I really never was able to find something that that set in
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for me. I had a lot of my own strong
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beliefs and I had such a desire to look into philosophy and
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history and science. There was simply some churches
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that I felt were full of it, didn't know what they were
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talking about or completely misinterpreted verses.
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And spending so much time with Christians and churches, I
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discovered a lot of them didn't care what it was they were being
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taught. They simply went with it.
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And during the week when they'd leave church, they wouldn't even
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bother to study the Bible themselves.
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They didn't care about philosophy.
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For them, Christianity was nothing more than a security
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blanket or a place to hang out in order to have community.
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And as much as I like fellowshipping and hanging out
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with people, the truth was always very important to me.
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Well, what ends up happening is I had a lot of questions about
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God and a lot of questions about faith and I felt like the lot of
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the preachers would dodge any questions that I had that I was
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curious about are things that were eaten away at me.
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And little by little it progressed like cancer.
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It just kept on eating and eating away at my faith.
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I started to get to the point where as I watch the news and I
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look at the world around me, I started getting to the point
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where I I felt like, well, my government lies, people at my
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school lie, My parents have lied.
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In fact, my my mother and father.
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Sometimes I even questioned if they were good people because of
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the abuse I endured from them as well as my grandparents and
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other family members. Really, really terrible abuse
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that no child should ever have to deal with.
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So all this accumulated and caused me to be this kind of
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ball of anger and hyperactivity where I just didn't feel like I
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was getting any answers in any direction at all.
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And then, of course, life started throwing its curveballs.
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Then come tragedies. Seeing my grandmother, who was
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heavily religious, riddled with cancer, and slowly dying in
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front of my young eyes was more than I could handle.
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That pretty much broke me, and it was also one of the main
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reasons I ended up in foster care 'cause she was literally
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the only family member outside of my sick mother who was
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functional to be able to take care of me or watch me whenever
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I was a kid. Once she was gone, there was no
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backup. The system was not going to
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allow me to go back to my mother because she was dysfunctional
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and negligent. So.
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And then the experiences weren't so hot in the foster care
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either. Tons of fights.
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Tons of violent fights between the kids that lived there.
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A lot of these foster cares were packed with kids that were
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juveniles, people who were kids who had been abused.
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And now we're angry at the world and wanted to hurt everything
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around them, including myself. So it was all throughout my
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childhood, in my teenage life. I went through that upon
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becoming a young adult. When I hit 18 years old, I got a
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phone call telling me that my best friend in the whole wide
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world that tried as hard as he could to keep in touch with me,
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he would tell me all this positive news.
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He would tell me all these positive things about what he's
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doing with his life. But when I turned 18 and he was
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getting ready to get seriously committed to college, while he
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was driving to college, a drunk driver swerved into him, knocked
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him off of the road. And unfortunately people didn't
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take seatbelts seriously back in the day.
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And he was thrown from the vehicle and the car itself
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landed on him and broke every bone in his body and killed the
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Mumbles instantly. So I lost my best friend in the
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whole wide world. And then years would go by I by
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this time I met my what would be my wife Dawn.
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I had tried relationships prior to all this, but I was a broken
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young man from all the experiences, so I wasn't able as
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well as povers because I had to depend on myself throughout all
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the time. Once I got out of foster homes,
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I had to take care of myself, figure out how to survive
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without absolutely no assistance whatsoever.
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Actually spent a little bit of time living on the streets.
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Some people don't know that, but I actually spent time in the
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streets and I remember going to some churches and they'd have me
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sit there for hours waiting before they would go into their
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storage and get me some rotten food that's been sitting there
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forever. Luckily for me, when I
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eventually got my own roof over my head, some of the churches
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were helpful and actually bringing me furniture whenever I
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was a teen, you know, just got out of foster care.
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Well, what ends up happening is I'm with my woman and a couple
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years go by and then I got a call letting me know that my
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mother had ended her own life. And that was extremely
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devastating. I almost had a nervous breakdown
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because of it. It's something that I still to
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this day, it's unforgettable. It's something that you don't
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really heal from, you kind of survive from.
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There's a difference When someone you love dies naturally
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or they die because of an accident, you know, you can say,
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well, you know, that's awful and terrible.
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But if your own loved one actually makes a choice to end
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their own life, well, unfortunately there's a lot of
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denominations and Christianity that teach that if you commit
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suicide, you go to hell. So because of that travesty,
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that's what started me into skepticism and atheism.
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I refuse to follow a religion that promoted the idea that my
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already dysfunctional, sick mother was now burning in hell
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for all eternity. Well, what ends up happening is
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about a year after the death of my mother, in the funeral and
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all that kind of stuff, I ended up coming to YouTube and talking
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to people and doing the atheist bit.
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And even whenever I got on YouTube, I had people who would
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basically, you know, say that my mother was in hell.
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I seen plenty of videos where people talked about that kind of
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stuff. Not so much anymore, but in the
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beginning they did. And that angered me and set me
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into a total rage. Months later, I end up bringing
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a child into the world. I already had a a son who was a
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toddler. And then I bring in a baby that
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was my daughter, and doctors are telling me that she's not going
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to survive, that she was born with a problem and anomaly
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meningitis that led the hydrocephalus.
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So my wife and I, we spent a lot of time back and forth in the
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Children's Hospital wondering if our kid was going to make it.
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And while going through that experience, I've got to watch
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another child die from cancer and also listen to the screams
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and cries of innocent children for a good long time.
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And that finally broke me. That finally broke me.
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It caused me to be very angry, very pissed.
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My wife would pray for me because she still believed in a
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higher power. She wasn't absolutely sure what
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higher power that was, but she prayed for me repeatedly because
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she knew that if things kept going the way they were that she
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might lose her daughter and lose her husband in the process.
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I was extremely difficult at that time to live with and at
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the same time I was trying to figure out how to be a man and
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how to be strong and how to be there for her.
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But the truth is she was a strong one.
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I was, I was weak and I was on my knees.
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I didn't know what to do with myself.
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So you 2 became like a therapy. It became a a thing where I did
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the whole atheist crap and I ran my mouth and I mocked religion
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and I attacked everything around me.
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I said religion is garbage. They claim I would make fun of
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faith healers 'cause I figured, well, how come it is there ain't
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no faith healers in the children's hospitals?
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Why isn't there anybody like trying to fix my daughter, for
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example. Why didn't any of the church
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people come in and heal my grandmother, who's suffered from
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cancer? And of course, why didn't
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anybody fix my mother before suicide?
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A lot of lot of disgusting, grotesque things happen.
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And I remember some Christians telling me they said, can I pray
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for your daughter? I said, sure, it's not going to
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mean shit, but you can try, You can do whatever you want.
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And there were a couple times, even though I labeled myself an
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atheist, I was a desperate father.
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So of course, from time to time I took their advice and
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suggestions and I prayed over my daughter as she lay in her
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cradle crib. I started noticing something
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happening during this process. Although I absolutely had thank
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wish God from my mind, I started noticing my daughter getting
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stronger. She started communicating where
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the doctors said that even if she survived, she wouldn't be
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right. But she could talk, she was
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articulate, she was smart. Something was happening,
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something I couldn't explain. Christians kept on praying.
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Unfortunately for me, a lot of the Christians who prayed for me
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and my child, they disappeared from YouTube and some of them
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actually died because a lot of them that were praying and
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actually cared for me, they were older people already.
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One of these women was like, I don't know, like 75 years old.
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I used to talk to her. She wasn't the most articulate
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Christian debater or anything like that, but I could tell that
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she loved me. I could tell she cared.
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I could tell that my family meant something to her.
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She didn't say something cool in the Bible that like rocked me or
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anything like that, but it was how she treated me.
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And I suppose one could argue that having people around you
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that actually care about you and and love you, who try to help
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you in your time and need, that can move you.
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I tried, like many non believers out there when life was crushing
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me, I tried the best I could to make videos where I'm smiling
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and saying, Oh yeah, I don't need God.
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I don't need anything good going on.
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I things are just fine. Things are great.
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I don't need any of your Jesus. I don't need any of your
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nonsense. I'm doing just fine.
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Of course, I was lying to myself and I was also putting on a
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front that wasn't true. And I would talk to a lot of
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atheists in the background. And they were miserable as hell,
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too. They had a lot of their own
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problems. There were atheists who didn't
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know how they were going to get groceries one day to the next.
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Atheists who didn't know how they were going to keep a roof
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over their head, how they were going to take care of their
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family. Atheists who, because there was
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so much conflict between their position and their religious
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family members, some of their family disowned them.
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They could have been because they were an atheist, or it
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could have been because they were gay, or whatever the case
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might have been. It was always something people
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always find a reason why they they want to justify their lack
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of love for you and their respect and their care.
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Yeah, it's rough. So the years went by and I'm
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dealing with these Christians who are showing me love and
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kindness. And I remember one day calling
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on Skype to one of my favorite Christian ladies who would talk
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to me and be there for me. And her young daughter, well,
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not young, but her daughter was like 30 years old, answers me on
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Skype and she says, who's this? And I said my name is Brett
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Keene. And I talked to the woman that
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is there and she goes, well, that's my mother.
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And unfortunately, I have bad news.
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My mother, I found her dead on the floor a couple days ago and
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we're cleaning up the house right now and putting things in
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boxes, that kind of stuff, and she's just no longer there.
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Oof, That was devastating. She apparently was at her
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computer, most likely looking at it like we all do and probably
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typing something or putting pretty pictures of her grandkids
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up and she just, she died just like that.
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While this is going on, I'm spending time with atheists too.
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I'm going in rooms with them, chatting on Stickam and Yahoo
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Chat and and all these Google Plus environments and I'm
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hearing atheists making claims and assertions and also mocking
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religious people constantly. And I was starting to get out of
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that type of thing. I was starting to grow.
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After spending as much time as I was with good Christians, I
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didn't want to attack them anymore.
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I had gotten that out of my system.
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I wasn't angry anymore. My daughter was doing better so
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I didn't feel the need to vent my frustration down on specific
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religions or target certain people for their claims.
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But I would listen to atheist attack religious people and not
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in the same way I did. I don't consider what how I
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acted the people is absolutely hateful but it was definitely
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not nice. A lot of atheists get very
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personal and get very, very disgusting with people and that
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was starting to wear on me real thin and it was starting to get
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to me, especially since some of the Christians they were
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attacking I had talked to privately many, many times and I
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knew they loved me. I knew they cared about me and I
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knew that they had the best intentions for me.
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They they felt that they wanted Jesus to save my soul.
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They believed that and they wanted me in heaven with them if
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I ever died. I understood that.
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And then the watch these same people who were good being
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brutalized. I'd already grown up with the
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abuse of people. People who were manipulators,
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people who were liars, people who were violent, people who
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were disgusting, people who were perverts.
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I lived with people like that all my life.
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I didn't want to be a part of something like that anymore.
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I wanted to get as far away from that kind of shit as possible.
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So when I would hear atheists talk about pornography and and
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filth and why evolution promotes rape and why it's beneficial,
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atheist making videos and stripteasing and sticking
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bananas up their ass and doing the horrible shit they did, it
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was disgusting to me. Although I wasn't a Christian, I
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grew up with the belief that life should be better, that we
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should strive to do good, that we should as a human race
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actually work together to build shit.
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Not sit around and talk about, you know, how enticing your
25:45
homosexual experience was. Or some filthy shit you did with
25:50
a girl that you got drunk and did things with and then left
25:54
her in the morning type of crap. And these were the type of
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people that I would hear that was the atheist community at the
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time. This filth after filth,
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perversions, disgustingness and absolute lies.
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That's what I was observing and engaging.
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I wasn't like that though. I was a father with kids.
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I was a man who wanted a good marriage, who wanted a good
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family, who wanted to have a better life than what I came
26:30
from, where these people were nothing more than the matter
26:36
sitting in toilet water. And it made me angry.
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You see, one of the things that had turned me on about atheism
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was people like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens.
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I watched them and I thought, wow, atheists are brilliant.
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They're intelligent. I made the mistake of looking at
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the smart ones and thinking that everybody who calls himself an
27:07
atheist as rational, logical and decent.
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I actually considered Richard Dawkins a decent, sophisticated
27:15
man who cared about the truth. Richard Dawkins had this thing
27:21
about it and this allure. And then Christopher Hitchens,
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unfortunately, although he was articulate and intelligent,
27:29
would drink all the time while he was on stage and smoking
27:34
cigarettes repeatedly, and then started having pictures of
27:38
himself taken where he's naked or bathing and all this kind of
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crap. I even made a video one day
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mocking it by taking a shower myself and having my wife
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recording me slathering myself up.
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Just make fun of that stupid shit.
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Oh man. Oh my God I just seen so much.
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And it's not like I didn't run into hypocritical Christians
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either, or Christians who are absolute filth bags themselves.
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I ran into a lot of bastards as well on both sides.
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It wasn't all just atheists being shed holes and everything.
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It was religious people. There was some out there that
28:26
were bad, but most of them were good.
28:29
They were fair people. They were people who admitted
28:33
that they had flaws and that they weren't perfect, but they
28:36
were trying. That the very idea of following
28:39
Christ was the strive to do better.
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Nowadays Christians argue about could we even those actions and
28:48
works even matter? Are we saved and can just sit on
28:53
our ass now talking a bunch of trash and we're good?
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I have to admit, it blows my mind sometimes the kind of shit
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people come up with thinking that God created Judgment Day
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just so he could say, Oh well, you're not going to get judged
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because, well, you believed in me, so I guess that's OK.
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But then there's that whole Jesus said what?
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Even the demons believe, right? Even even Satan knows God has
29:27
his phone number, knows his home address, everything.
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But sure, if believing is enough, I guess go with it.
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Years go by, the daughter is doing great, my son's doing
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great, my kids are perfect. They're little angels.
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Birthday after birthday, the blessings come in.
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A beautiful marriage, beautiful family and I created a beautiful
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life. I finally had the thing that I
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dreamed of and I don't believe I could have done it on my own.
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I felt like there was even through all the hard times, that
30:12
there was something guiding me something, something getting me
30:17
over the potholes, getting me through all the all the weeds
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and the rough stuff. Boy.
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Well, after countless times of seeing atheists screwing around
30:36
with underage girls, seeing them lie their ass off, seeing them
30:40
making false claims about science and philosophy and
30:45
history, when I was in love with all these different things in
30:52
our world that humanity contributed to.
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Watching people lie about science just so they can get one
30:58
over on religion, that was annoying as hell for me.
31:03
And then on top of it, of course, the personal attacks
31:06
done towards myself repeatedly, my home address being dropped,
31:11
people threatening on the atheist side that they wanted to
31:14
take out my family, well, that just wasn't acceptable.
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And it got to a point where I decided, all right, I'm still
31:24
lacking a belief in God, still having a hard time entertaining
31:29
the idea of God. But one thing I'm for sure is I
31:33
don't want to be thrown under the bus along with the rest of
31:35
these pieces of trash. I do not want to be labeled
31:40
after this gang because that's how I I started seeing them.
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I started perceiving them as a gang where if you don't agree
31:50
with their gang rules and you don't do their initiations and
31:54
rules, then you're an apostate or you're a piece of shit that
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they feel like they can abuse and say anything they want to
32:02
about you and get away with it. And of course, use each other
32:07
for views. One, that's one thing I've
32:10
noticed about atheists. They'll throw each other under
32:13
the bus, they'll kill each other just so they can get a popular
32:16
viral video on YouTube. And that to me was absolutely
32:21
disgusting and indefensible. Duplicious, really.
32:31
So I I tried to get myself away from it, tried to give myself a
32:37
different name, tried to rebrand myself just anything I could to
32:43
get the hell away from it but still share some of the
32:47
definition because I wasn't intellectually ready to accept
32:51
the concept of God. But I knew for a fact I did not
32:55
want to be in the same pig's pen with the swine.
33:02
Called myself Keen Vision, the Wolfman, BK games, you love,
33:08
anything I could just to get the hell as far away from that
33:12
nonsense as possible. I even said don't call me an
33:18
atheist anymore, call me a truth seeker because that's more
33:22
positive and that actually describes me more as what I'm
33:26
actually about. I'm not content with just
33:29
sitting on my ass saying that I know what the universe has in
33:33
store. I'm not content with claiming
33:36
there is or isn't a God. I'm just a truth seeker.
33:40
Whatever evidence I come across, I will accept it as is, no
33:44
matter if it's comfortable for me or not.
33:48
And a lot of people deemed me as an actual critical thinker
33:52
because of the way I did things. People see me as the the optimal
33:57
type of person that you'd want to deal with because I didn't
34:00
have an agenda or a chip on my shoulder.
34:03
I just simply the truth or nothing at all kind of thing.
34:10
Well, eventually your personal experiences, watching my
34:14
daughter get better, watching my marriage get stronger and more
34:18
powerful, watching my son accomplish all the things he did
34:22
along with my daughter, it just felt like there, there was
34:28
something there the whole time and it was getting louder and
34:31
louder. It was very silent in the
34:34
beginning, very quiet. But something started feeling as
34:39
though it was speaking through me through experiences.
34:44
Some people aren't going to understand that.
34:47
And because I've got such a good memory, I was able to think
34:51
about all the times in life I could have been dead, or things
34:54
could have went S for me, or how easily it could have been for
34:58
one thing to go wrong and my entire world fall apart.
35:04
That something, every single time, was holding it together
35:08
for me. One of the things I couldn't
35:16
intellectually wrap my head around was why did I love and
35:21
care so much if I was nothing more than evolved primate, a
35:26
monkey running around that had transitioned from all these
35:32
other nasty, disgusting creatures, from rodents to
35:35
salamanders to sea fish that swim around in their own shed.
35:40
Why did I have a consciousness? Why did I care?
35:44
Why did I have love? Why did people's lives mean so
35:48
much to me? Why did I want to help people?
35:50
Why did I want to support people?
35:53
Why was this even a thing? I couldn't understand it.
35:57
I even put my life on the line. A while back I seen a child run
36:01
out in the street. I didn't know who the kid was,
36:03
who the mom and dad was, but I ran out in the street and I got
36:07
hit by a car while trying to help a child I didn't even know
36:13
and that messed me up. I end up having to go to the
36:16
hospital, I ended up getting worked on and all this and I did
36:19
not know why. Why I felt this need to protect
36:25
an innocent child. Why did I do this altruistic
36:28
thing? For what some atheists are going
36:33
to say, because it's about reproducing the genes and all
36:37
this, but the kid wasn't my genetics.
36:39
The kid wasn't connected to me in any way.
36:42
It was just a kid. And no one ever cared about me.
36:46
Whenever I was a child. If I was a child and ran out in
36:49
the street, they would have drove over me 100 times and
36:53
backed up. So there was nothing taught in
36:56
me that that was the thing to do.
36:58
But I did, and I suffered for it.
37:02
I still to this day, I've got a really bad back, which a lot of
37:06
atheists enjoy making fun of me about.
37:09
I'm able to walk around and stand and all that kind of
37:12
stuff, but if I sit too long or I walk too long and stuff, I'm
37:17
reminded of that moment that I made a decision in life that
37:21
would change everything. Why do you lay on your bed,
37:27
Brant? What's wrong?
37:30
Because you're fat and stupid. Yeah.
37:37
OK. So yeah.
37:49
Yeah. The abuse, the aggravation, the
37:52
blessings, it all started to trickle down and the brain
37:59
started processing, the wheels started turning and all that.
38:03
That atheists are not people who want to do any good.
38:07
There's a couple of them that'll boast about doing charity on
38:10
video because they think it'll make them sound like they're
38:14
better than Christians in some kind of way, but they do a one
38:18
time ordeal and think that they're all great.
38:21
It's like a narcissist does one thing for somebody and that's
38:25
like they've turned heaven and earth over for somebody is where
38:29
Christians every single day go out into the Congo and out into
38:32
Africa and these different countries putting their lives on
38:36
the line to spread the word of God, bring food and roofing and
38:40
plumbing the people off in the Middle East and all these
38:44
hardcore countries. Christians have been doing it
38:47
for thousands of years is where atheists try to go back in
38:53
history and and look where atheists have ever historically
38:57
done shit besides destroy entire civilizations through
39:01
dictatorship, communism and socialism.
39:05
You won't find it. You won't find it.
39:17
So I I think that I can honestly tell you all that there perhaps
39:25
could be some PTSD, there could be some.
39:29
The trauma that I dealt with from non believers could have
39:33
been so far reaching and damaging for my psyche that when
39:39
I even hear the name atheist it makes me sick and wants me to
39:43
throw up in my own mouth. Yet I'm in a dichotomy because
39:49
Jesus wants me to love everybody.
39:52
Jesus doesn't want anyone to perish and he wants me to sow
39:55
seeds and he wants me to have this ability to forgive people
40:01
and their trespasses, not let them continue to abuse me or
40:06
treat disrespect me or mock me. But.
40:10
Learn how to forgive. And boy oh boy, does that make
40:14
Christianity a real challenge. It sure does.
40:21
And it it's not just for atheists, it's also for
40:24
Christians too. Because I have dealt with so
40:27
many and Christians have done bad things, but not on the same,
40:31
not even close to the same level of assholery that I've dealt
40:36
with by atheists. And that's weird, isn't it?
40:40
A majority of the world is Christian and a small minority
40:44
is atheist. But it seems like a majority of
40:47
the minority of atheists have been the worst fucking thing I
40:51
could ever experience in my life.
40:54
The worst. But I'm supposed to somehow
40:58
reach out to these people. And I had some Christians say to
41:02
me as well as atheist. But Brett, you used to be an
41:05
atheist. Why can't why you act like we're
41:08
somehow different in some way? Because you are.
41:12
Because a lot of you don't actually care about truth.
41:15
You're just, you're just shitheads who use your position
41:20
and your worldview to attack other people and and try to
41:24
destroy people so you can feel better about yourself so you can
41:28
pump yourself up so you can look like you're the smart one.
41:32
If you got a Christian on something that they didn't know
41:35
biblically or whatever, you, you don't give a fuck, you don't
41:39
care and you're not a good person.
41:42
You don't even try to be good people.
41:44
You lie on video and say your moral and that you don't need
41:47
the Bible and God in order to do good.
41:49
But that's a fucking lie. I've seen it countless times.
41:54
I've spoken to too many of you privately to accept anything you
41:58
say with a grain of salt. So I'm in a bad position, ladies
42:08
and gentlemen, because I guess you could say it's a good
42:12
position, but in some ways it's bad.
42:15
It's like a double edged sword. It's like a curse and a
42:18
blessing. Now I got to turn around and
42:20
love the very enemies, the people who made themselves my
42:24
enemy. I got to basically turn the
42:27
other cheek. I got to I got to hug them
42:31
whenever they're in pain and suffering.
42:33
I got to love them even though they hate me unless I was dead.
42:37
That's that's complicated. It almost, it almost feels
42:48
irrational sometimes, but at the same time, I realize the wisdom
42:53
in Jesus. He's telling us that, look, some
42:58
people aren't going to listen. Then you just have to dust your
43:01
sandals. But there's some people out
43:03
there that are suffering too, and they're hurt and they're in
43:07
doubt and they're crying out for truth like you did, Brett.
43:12
So keep looking for the ones that are worth saving and leave
43:18
the weeds for me to burn. Yeah.
43:23
And it's just how I got to figure out how to work that I'm
43:28
still learning how to discern the difference between a good
43:31
atheist and a bad one because there's so few of them.
43:35
There's a reason, ladies and gentlemen, why the Bible says
43:39
the way is narrow. That not all those who come in
43:42
my name and not all those who say they're about my business
43:46
are any good. There's a reason for it.
43:50
I used to think to myself when reading the Bible, man, how is
43:56
anybody going to get into heaven under these stringent rules?
43:59
But it's not really stringent, is it?
44:01
It says don't kill people, don't hurt people, love each other,
44:06
work together and try to follow Jesus.
44:10
What's the problem? The only way to get the hell is
44:17
to be an absolutely stupid, foolish person.
44:22
If you deny God's existence, if you deny purpose and function in
44:26
the universe, well, you're a fool.
44:40
So I guess this could be called a testimony.
44:42
I guess this could be my testimonial.
44:45
Don't worry. I've told parts of the story off
44:49
and on throughout my entire YouTube career.
44:52
But obviously a lot of things have changed over the years.
44:55
A lot of things got better. Some things, some bad things
45:00
came along. So I'm kind of, I guess this is
45:03
my updated testimony. This is my updated concept.
45:09
I apologize to the Christians out there who are listening
45:12
where you're real strict about certain language you want to
45:15
hear, but I'm being real with you.
45:18
I'm telling you what the deal is.
45:20
I'm telling you where I'm at in my walk.
45:23
My walk is still, my walk has light in it, but it still has
45:27
darkness too. I'm not, obviously, I'm not
45:32
completely over the line that I need to be with things, but I'm
45:40
trying. That's the point.
45:42
I think that at this point, I can see the finish line off in
45:46
the distance. The future isn't so blurry for
45:49
me anymore. I can actually see that there's
45:52
a destination, a goal to get to, as where before, when I was
45:57
younger, I didn't know what direction to go.
45:59
I didn't know what I was doing. Making mistakes, boy, I've done.
46:08
I've done some major growing up and I'm still growing.
46:13
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm still a student.
46:16
Far from being the teacher. I got my little chunks of wisdom
46:21
here and there and clever remarks and comebacks and all
46:25
that. But boy, oh boy, I try to stay
46:27
humble. I try to realize I'm still
46:31
infantile in my understanding of the universe.
46:34
There's so much more treasures and secrets to be found.
46:45
What's the future for Brett King?
46:47
Well, I'd like to socialize. I'd like to make new friends.
46:52
I'd like to connect with people. I'd like to create more
46:55
beautiful music. I'd like to draw.
47:00
I'd like to participate in creative projects.
47:08
That's what I want to do. I want to be able to see
47:11
people's lives changed. I want to be able to serve God
47:16
where he's not disappointed with me on a daily basis.
47:21
I'd like to be able to get to that point where I can love
47:23
someone and actually feel absolutely sad for the person,
47:28
whether they can hear or not. To be able to have that pure
47:32
empathy and sympathy for others that Jesus speaks about.
47:40
I need to stop watching the news as well.
47:42
That is so damn depressing. Oh, war after war, people being
47:48
blown up and killed. I can't stand it.
47:51
It's making me sick. It seems so easy.
47:56
These leaders, they call each other on the phone and they
47:59
talked and play golf with each other and all this.
48:02
It's like, why are you killing each other?
48:05
Why are you doing this? It's 2025, leave that shit back
48:09
in medieval times. Why are we still as a species
48:13
doing this to each other? Why are people still hating?
48:18
Hating. Why?
48:25
No point in praying to God about changing people?
48:28
Because God decided for whatever reason a long time ago when He
48:33
was making this mess that is humanity.
48:39
I'm not saying it was a mistake, but it is a mess if you observe
48:44
it for what it is. He decided a long time ago to
48:48
give us the ability to think and have choices and free will, and
48:54
we've abused the shit out of every gift that He's given us.
48:57
Every time He gives us something good, we turn it into something
49:00
evil or bad. It's a mess.
49:06
It's a mess. I don't blame God for it.
49:11
God gave us a bunch of good things and we screwed it up.
49:18
So how do we get out of this? It seems like the only logical
49:23
solution is just simply do what Jesus said.
49:27
Do unto others as you want done on yourself.
49:29
Treat others right. If if you love people, you don't
49:34
bomb them into the ground, You don't kill entire families and
49:38
commit this type of destruction. You don't try to frame or set
49:46
people up. You don't try to argue with
49:50
people just for the pure desire to feel better about yourself by
49:54
making another person feel like shit.
50:01
Imagine whenever you're talking to the person next to you that
50:04
they're your cosmic brother and sister, that it's best for you
50:09
to work together to row this boat through life the the sea of
50:15
life, instead of trying to figure out whatever
50:19
justification it is to toss people off into the water to
50:23
drown. My daughter just had a birthday
50:30
recently. I'm so proud of her.
50:34
She's 23, and when I look into her eyes or my son or my wife
50:42
for that matter, I see God every single time.
50:49
My wife didn't have to love me. My there's no I don't feel
50:55
entitled like I deserved or I earned or, you know, I should
51:01
have had any of the good things I've had in my life.
51:04
It's obvious that God gave them to me, and some people might
51:09
even argue that God gave me to them.
51:14
And I do the best I can. As a father and a man, I
51:21
sometimes, obviously like a human, I get selfish and greedy.
51:26
I want more for them. I want to give them everything I
51:30
can. But we all have our limitations
51:37
and we got to learn to deal with their own flaws, our own
51:43
problems, our own vulnerabilities, our own
51:46
weaknesses. All right, so tomorrow at 7:00
51:52
PM Central, I'm going to be doing the live show and the link
51:55
is already out there as as well as the scheduled show.
51:59
There's going to be a debate about socialism versus capital,
52:03
Capitalism with Brother Maverick versus a guy named Dank there
52:11
YouTube channels are in the title.
52:13
You can actually click on their names.
52:14
It'll take you to the channel. Make sure you subscribe to these
52:17
people. Show them some love.
52:20
And anybody that joins the room during the debate, I don't mind
52:26
you talking as long as you participate.
52:29
And you also shut your damn mouth when someone goes to
52:33
answer you. If anybody comes in and you cut
52:36
somebody off over and over and over, speak over them.
52:40
Eventually everybody's going to get sick and tired of your ass
52:44
and we'll have to kick you out or mute you or put you
52:47
backstage. So when you come in, treat
52:51
everybody with respect, Talk to each other, listen to each
52:56
other's point of view, whether you like it or not, and let's
52:59
have a damn good show. Oh yeah, God bless.
53:20
Room at the end of the hall, dust in the corners, shelf by
53:27
the window, glass cold against my hand.
53:32
Old photo staring down. I leave him face down.
53:36
Clock ticks sideways. Not sure where I stand.