Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 47 | Is Fatherhood Worth It?

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Ep. 47 | Is Fatherhood Worth It? · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:06
  Hey guys, welcome to the 5-Minute Fatherhood Podcast. I'm your co-host, Jeff Beth Key, along with my friend and mentor, Jeremy Pryor. Join us Monday through Friday as we chat about quick tips, skills, and ways to help equip you on your journey as a father to build your multi-generational family team on mission. Stay tuned.
• 0:27
  All right, guys. Hey, I'm Jeremy. I'm Jeff. And we want to talk to you guys about is fatherhood really worth it? What makes fatherhood worth it? It's a ton of work. If you were designing and thinking you were going to live your life in the funnest,
• 0:44
  way possible with the least amount of responsibility, this would seem like a really bad gig. And so, and a lot of you guys are in the thick of it right now. I'm sure you're like, oh my gosh, how I need somebody to tell me, did I make the worst mistake ever? You know, could I just have gotten a dog and I'd be traveling the world right now instead of with a mortgage and a screaming kid night or something. So I want to talk to you a little bit about why the Bible really talks about, how the Bible talks about fatherhood, because it's not the way that culture tends to talk about it.
• 1:12
  And the passage that has always affected me the most in this area is, in Psalm 127, it makes this very strong declarative statement that children are a blessing from the Lord, their heritage. It says even, blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. And it talks about how great it is to have kids when you're young. And it's really okay to ask the question, that doesn't make any sense, right? How can that be? It just makes life a lot more difficult. And so much of
• 1:41
  Whether or not you think fatherhood is a good thing or a blessing comes down to what you think the goal of fatherhood is. And we are taught from the very beginning of even thinking about having a family that the way you think about kids and starting a family is what do you want? Like, how many kids do you want? Do you feel like you're the kind of person who wants to be a dad? And if that's your individual desires, then go ahead and have children. If not, then probably good to avoid it.
• 2:09
  The Bible just sort of makes this blanket statement that children are a blessing. And I really believe that what it's describing is that that's not the goal. The goal isn't what is going to make you the most happy. The goal is that you be transformed in the kind of person that can rule in a kingdom with your heavenly father. And if you're asking the question, what is the tool that's going to most reliably turn me into the kind of person that is capable of ruling in the city of God? There is absolutely no better path.
• 2:36
  than to have children and bear the responsibility of being a dad. And that's why they're always a blessing. Because if you think about it, we're not much of a blessing to our kids. I mean, it's ridiculous at one level to think about whose idea was it to hand children who are unbelievably vulnerable into the hands of guys like us
• 2:53
  And you don't get good at it until they leave. Yeah, exactly. It's like you didn't get trained in this. It's all on the job. It's all on the kid training. And that's rough. And so the Bible never says that we're a blessing to children, although fathers always can be a blessing to their children.
• 3:12
  But children are always a blessing to the Father because they're always there transforming the dad into the kind of person that's designed for the kingdom that we're all destined for with our Heavenly Father. So from that perspective, from the perspective of growth and transformation, bearing responsibility and becoming the kind of man that God wants you to be, there is just no better curriculum in the world than having a kid.
• 3:35
  that's, I think, what makes fatherhood worth it 100% of the time. No matter what you're going through right now, no matter how hard it is, it is working in you and through you to turn you into something and someone that your father wants you to become. Totally. And I'll just add one small thing. I think, yeah, that is so true. And once you live in that, it's so life-giving and meaningful and rich and deep. But, and then what you start to realize, and then the one thing that I think has been really helpful for me is,
• 4:04
  And of course, this is only true, I think, if you're a father, not like if you're a single person, you know, that you're like a JV Christian or something like that. But if you are married and you are a father and you have kids...
• 4:15
  I think a lot of times the lie can be, go find your meaning in work, go find your meaning in a hobby, go find your meaning somewhere else, whatever. And I just think once you realize that fatherhood is worth it for the reasons you just said, then you realize that everything else is just a shadow. And this is the family, like this identity that God has given you out of all the other identities and roles and hats. This one is the reality. This one is the substance, right? Like you are meant to be a father-in-law.
• 4:40
  You're supposed to learn and live in fatherhood with your own kids and your marriage and your family. And then you're supposed to be a father at your work. Then you're supposed to be a father in a hobby or then supposed to be a father in your city and in your neighborhood, whatever. And so I just think this is the epicenter, like a concentric circles, like being a father.
• 4:56
  to your own kids is the bullseye of like, this is what you're looking for everywhere else. The meaning you're looking for at work is here. The purpose you're looking for at work is here, but in a better way. The everything you're looking for is here in a better way. Now, not to pit the two against each other, but it's concentric circles. So it's like, this is the center. Then it goes out and you can be meaningful more in your work.
• 5:17
  But when you do pit them against each other, either in a secular way of like you work and you're never at home and not being a good dad, then yeah, that's when I think then you miss that. But even sometimes the hyper religious circles can do the opposite where they are all about, you know, no work and just being a dad. But it's like, no, no, you need to learn here to go bless the city. But I think, again, you do have to realize that, yeah.
• 5:36
  There's nothing more, now that I am a father, there's nothing more meaningful and deep and beautiful that gives me that more just vitality and like depth than being a father. And I can carry those into then all the other domains after that.
• 5:51
  Hey guys, one of our favorite places to hang out on is the family teams, Instagram. That is where you will find tips, quotes, tricks, and a bunch of other conversational things to help you build your family team on mission. If you're on Instagram and you want to get encouragement as you do this and build your family team, just head over to Instagram and follow us at family teams.