Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / From Emergency Medicine to Enlightenment: Dr. Laura Gabayan's Journey of Wisdom and Transformation

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From Emergency Medicine to Enlightenment: Dr. Laura Gabayan's Journey of Wisdom and Transformation · Is Your Way In Your Way?

• 0:26
  Cassandra: Good day out there to all my listeners.
• 0:28
  Cassandra: Thank you so much for tuning in to Is your Way, in your Way, and I'm your host.
• 0:34
  Cassandra: My name is Cassandra Crawley-Mayo and for those individuals I would say my first time listeners, let me kind of share with you what this podcast is all about.
• 0:45
  Cassandra: It's about individuals who are stuck.
• 0:48
  Cassandra: You know, in your heart of hearts there is something you should be doing.
• 0:53
  Cassandra: You know that you have a calling for something, and some of you kind of know what it is, but you just can't seem to move forward.
• 1:00
  Cassandra: And you can't move forward because you have a lot of maybe self-imposed barriers or those roadblocks that's preventing you from living your best life on your terms.
• 1:11
  Cassandra: And we talk about topics related to business, personal development and I would even say some self-reflective topics that you're going to be able to self-reflect as you hear these episodes.
• 1:24
  Cassandra: And today our topic is called Uncover the Secrets of Happiness, peace and Success.
• 1:32
  Cassandra: I have a special guest that knows all about this and I am super excited about it because it's actually all about this word called wisdom.
• 1:42
  Cassandra: Let me welcome Dr G to the stage.
• 1:45
  Cassandra: Good day, dr G.
• 1:47
  Cassandra: How are you?
• 1:48
  Cassandra: I'm great.
• 1:49
  Cassandra: Thank you for having me.
• 1:50
  Cassandra: Yes, yes, and before we get started, I'm going to read your bio to my listeners so they get to know a little bit about you.
• 1:59
  Cassandra: Now, doctor, we've gone through this.
• 2:02
  Cassandra: Dr.
• 2:02
  Cassandra: Gabayan is a world-renowned Gabayan world-renowned physician and researcher, and she's dedicated her career to uncovering the deeper meanings of life and wisdom.
• 2:16
  Cassandra: Now, after she moved from Iran to the United States at age six and completed her education at UCLA, Dr G embarked on the Wisdom Research Project in 2014.
• 2:31
  Cassandra: She interviewed 60 individuals across North America to explore the age-old concept of wisdom beyond anecdotes and subjectivity.
• 2:43
  Cassandra: Her findings are encapsulated in her compelling book Common Wisdom where she defines wisdom through eight scientific elements.
• 2:58
  Cassandra: So, again, I don't want you guys to miss this thought provoking conversation on harnessing the power of wisdom in your everyday life.
• 3:07
  Cassandra: I already told Dr G, I'm really, really excited because one of my, one of the chapters and I'm not sure who you honor, who's your, your superpower, who's your God but the book of Proverbs in the Bible was just so fascinating to me and that was a book about wisdom.
• 3:24
  Cassandra: So I just can't wait to get into that.
• 3:26
  Cassandra: So, dr G, before you, well, what was life like before you completed your education at UCLA?
• 3:37
  Cassandra: What was going on with you then?
• 3:40
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Well, I knew I wanted to be a doctor, and so I went to UCLA for college and then medical school residency and then fellowship.
• 3:50
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Fellowship is like a specialization in research and I was publishing a lot in academia and in science.
• 4:02
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And then, starting in 2013, my body started to fall apart and developed random conditions, random symptoms as you can tell my voice, my speech is not clear and still and so I developed these and I was like, wait, the physicians that taught me were just so limited in how they were so quick to judge and diagnose.
• 4:28
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And that's when I started thinking, well, the people who don't do that otherwise.
• 4:33
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And then I looked into what we knew about wisdom and I'm like, well, it's very subjective and anecdotal.
• 4:42
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And that's when I decided to do my own project and define it.
• 4:48
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And that's when I defined it and I was like this is really a secret to success in life.
• 4:57
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's a secret to living a meaningful life it's having peace.
• 5:00
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So the eight elements I found in my book Common Wisdom were resilience, kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity and curiosity.
• 5:18
  Cassandra: And those eight elements.
• 5:21
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I talk about them in the book, which is very easy to read.
• 5:24
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: The conversation is very easy to read.
• 5:27
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: You can see from the reviews.
• 5:27
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: The conversation is very serious.
• 5:28
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: You can see from the reviews.
• 5:29
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But I talk about them in a way that, whether you have it or not, you can build it and that's the goal okay, let me ask you, let me go back a bit.
• 5:40
  Cassandra: DrG, when you graduated my understanding that you were like in emergency medicine, that's what you were going to do so control was always very important in my life.
• 5:54
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Yeah, and that's when I know I pursued in undergrad, med school and just in general I decided I won't do well in school, just so I can control where I went.
• 6:09
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And then I pursued a field.
• 6:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I just in general.
• 6:11
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I decided you know what I want to do well, in school, right, just so I can control where I went.
• 6:13
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And then I pursued a field where I knew what could happen to anybody anywhere and I control knowing that knowledge.
• 6:23
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I had a heart attack in the middle of nowhere and that's what emergency medicine gave me.
• 6:33
  Cassandra: Okay, out of nowhere.
• 6:34
  Cassandra: And so, and that's what emergency medicine gave me, okay?
• 6:37
  Cassandra: So now explain again to my listeners why, what, um, what triggered you to?
• 6:41
  Cassandra: I think, if I'm not mistaken you, you stopped emergency medicine and you started working on this project in 2013, and that is when you noticed that your body was starting to fall apart.
• 6:52
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: My body and the physicians I interacted with didn't have a reason.
• 6:57
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: They weren't thinking outside the box.
• 7:00
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I would probably say it took me a good four or five years 2017, 2017, 2018, 19, right before COVID for me to realize that you know what this is.
• 7:16
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: This is not going to change, because I prayed to just get better and go back to seeing patients.
• 7:23
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But that's when I was like, well, no, I really want to understand wisdom.
• 7:28
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I did not know anything about wisdom.
• 7:31
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I did know how to do research.
• 7:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I was like, let me apply the same rigor I used in doing my projects to understanding wisdom.
• 7:43
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And I did.
• 7:44
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Okay, I interviewed the people I interviewed in 2002.
• 7:52
  Cassandra: So what you're saying is because the doctors that were, as you indicate, your body, you felt, was just falling apart and they didn't really know why, they were kind of guessing a little bit what?
• 8:07
  Cassandra: Okay?
• 8:09
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: They weren't guessing.
• 8:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I think they're just like limited to what they knew.
• 8:13
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Okay, they had a diagnosis.
• 8:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Like must be this, you have this.
• 8:17
  Cassandra: It must be that they weren't willing to consider a bunch of different options okay, and that's why, um, you decided to focus on wisdom, because did you think that they did not have?
• 8:32
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: the wisdom?
• 8:32
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I don't know.
• 8:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I mean, you know I'm not, you know it's funny.
• 8:37
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Someone asked me do you think in a podcast I did you think so, and so has wisdom, do you think?
• 8:43
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Someone?
• 8:44
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I'm like, I'm not here to judge right scientists, I'm just here to tell you what I saw.
• 8:50
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Okay, so I definitely felt like they were not willing, and I think it's because they're so set on learning all, they learn so much and they're so set on okay, it must be this, that's how you treat it, it must be this, that's what you do.
• 9:06
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: They don't have time or room to think about other things.
• 9:12
  Cassandra: Okay, so that's your reason for your quest.
• 9:16
  Cassandra: I call it a quest to figure out what this wisdom thing was.
• 9:20
  Cassandra: Right, right, let me ask you this how did you define wisdom before the project?
• 9:30
  Cassandra: did you know?
• 9:31
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I don't know if I really knew.
• 9:33
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I mean, it's funny because to do any project you have to look up what is done in the academia.
• 9:40
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I looked through both psychology, sociology and geriatric journals and I didn't really know what it was.
• 9:51
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I knew that, okay, so it had an inverse relationship with age and that inverse so the people who have it most are age 50 to 79 years old.
• 10:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And then I read that, okay, that those there was are most likely limited to a specific area.
• 10:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: That's why mine is North America and it's not specific based on gender, race or political affiliation, and that's all I kind of really know.
• 10:29
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I didn't know okay.
• 10:31
  Cassandra: So, and I also understand that your goal for doing this project it wasn't about the money.
• 10:38
  Cassandra: No, what was?
• 10:40
  Cassandra: What was the goal?
• 10:41
  Cassandra: What was your end in mind for this?
• 10:44
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I, after I did it and after I spoke with the people and as I was writing the book, I was like, wow, this can really impact people's lives.
• 10:54
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It can change the way they think, the way they are.
• 10:58
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Recently someone just told me it saved her marriage.
• 11:01
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: That definitely changed her life.
• 11:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So it can change people's lives and that's my goal with writing the book and publishing it was that.
• 11:14
  Cassandra: Okay, all right.
• 11:15
  Cassandra: So why did you?
• 11:18
  Cassandra: You interviewed 60 individuals.
• 11:21
  Cassandra: Yes, why 60?
• 11:22
  Cassandra: Why not less?
• 11:23
  Cassandra: Why not more?
• 11:25
  Cassandra: Why not less?
• 11:26
  Cassandra: Why not?
• 11:26
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: more.
• 11:27
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So it's funny because I around 20, I had really heard the same thing thoughts, and you're supposed to with research, with this type of research, you're supposed to kind of stop when you do hear a lot of the same things.
• 11:46
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: The same things were, despite the negative situation they had encountered, they were at peace Despite what they had seen, they were happy and they believed that everything will be okay.
• 11:59
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But I kept going.
• 12:01
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I'm a scientist, I'm like no, 20 is not enough.
• 12:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I kept going and going and I just stopped at 60.
• 12:09
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But I could have stopped.
• 12:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It would have given me the same results.
• 12:12
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: To stop at like 160 or 600, wherever how did you find these people?
• 12:20
  Cassandra: So you look for people that, like you, indicated from 50 to 70, on Nine 79.
• 12:27
  Cassandra: You figured you know they were wise because they were older and they've experienced life.
• 12:33
  Cassandra: How did you decide who to interview?
• 12:38
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I can't.
• 12:38
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: As a scientist, you can't have a say in who you interview.
• 12:43
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: You have to let the numbers tell you.
• 12:45
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I didn't really say, oh yeah, you can do it.
• 12:49
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: You can't.
• 12:50
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But everyone helped in saying something important.
• 12:54
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I thought and you'll see that in my book, common Wisdom you'll see that there are different life stories or quotes or things of people in there, and that's where that's important.
• 13:07
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And so I did end up.
• 13:11
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: We posted on social media, we put it on Nextdoor.
• 13:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I told every single person I knew Do you know someone wise?
• 13:21
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Okay, and the whole process of them recommending or nominating someone was complicated because that person had to fall into the age range.
• 13:30
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: They had to set up a time to meet with me.
• 13:33
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It was complex but it worked out Okay.
• 13:37
  Cassandra: Now, how did you, could you share, like, how many questions did you have?
• 13:42
  Cassandra: And you asked everyone the same question.
• 13:44
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I asked everyone I don't have them here with me, but my book has it in there.
• 13:50
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I asked them the exact same 10 questions and the questions were not what is wisdom to you?
• 14:00
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It was more about getting to know them and what life experiences they've had, and getting to know the life they've lived and what's important to them.
• 14:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But it was definitely not about.
• 14:13
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: You know it's called the wisdom research project, but it wasn't about like having them define wisdom, because no one's really going to define it right, that's true that that's interesting.
• 14:27
  Cassandra: Um, so, after you've interviewed everyone, you talk about these eight elements.
• 14:34
  Cassandra: Um, and I'm making an assumption and I'm certain you'll correct me is did you find those by common themes?
• 14:43
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: that individuals had it was, and so there's two types of research and the type of research we use kind of creates themes and ideas that they have and we had over 20 initially and collapses them into one big thing Like, for example, the third thing positivity had humor in there and also had gratitude in there as well.
• 15:11
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So people that made gratitude a really important part of their lives or were really funny during the interview or felt like humor was important, they got positivity.
• 15:25
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So that clocks into it.
• 15:29
  Cassandra: Now name the eight elements again for the listeners.
• 15:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So the first one was resilience, and I'll say them in order now.
• 15:38
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: The reason I say them in order is I mean first of all what's most common.
• 16:05
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So the first one was most common and then the least common.
• 16:11
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So in the book Common Wisdom, the first one is resilience, than kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity and curiosity.
• 16:29
  Cassandra: Okay Now, based on those elements, why are they secret sauce of happiness and peace and success?
• 16:42
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's interesting because that's what these people had despite going through difficulties in life, despite whatever it was, they were very content and they were happy and they were at peace and they were not angry, they were not bitter, they were kind of at peace and when asked, what's important to them is, you know, doing something kind or pursuing kindness.
• 17:11
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So it was just very interesting and I definitely thought about the movie the Lion King a lot.
• 17:20
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And the wise monkey.
• 17:22
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: He seemed very kind of at peace as well, so I feel like he embodied a lot of the symptoms, that a lot of the elements were talking about.
• 17:38
  Cassandra: So if like, for example, when I kind of shared with the audience, my listeners, you know there are certain things that they like to accomplish in their life.
• 17:48
  Cassandra: Maybe some of them want to do research, own their company, change jobs, forgive somebody, buy a new home, new home In your project, did you find any commonalities on why individuals get stuck?
• 18:09
  Cassandra: You know they know they want to do certain things and we talk about, like the wisdom, you have a more meaningful life.
• 18:21
  Cassandra: That's one of the things that you had discussed and I think that, as individuals, there's certain things that they want to do.
• 18:24
  Cassandra: The thought is coming from somewhere.
• 18:26
  Cassandra: Why do they want to do this?
• 18:29
  Cassandra: It's coming from something.
• 18:31
  Cassandra: So when you went through the wisdom, part of everything, did you find anybody that wanted to do something but became stuck?
• 18:41
  Cassandra: Or were these individuals just went with the flow?
• 18:45
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I think they went with the flow and I think it's important for your audience to also understand why.
• 18:51
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So, first of all, observe, but also, why are they pursuing X?
• 18:56
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Or why are they stuck?
• 18:58
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So what is leading to all this?
• 19:01
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Is there more stuff behind it?
• 19:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And understanding, observing it is really important, but they're kind of like at peace, like oh no, it didn't work out.
• 19:13
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Or I remember one of my interviewees talked about how her company failed years ago and she was like she learned that she had to be fiercely failed years ago, she learned that she had to be fiercely flexible.
• 19:27
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Again, excuse my speech by being flexible, she realized it's not working.
• 19:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: That's what led her down the path of being realizing.
• 19:39
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Instead of dwelling on the fact that it didn't work, she changed course.
• 19:45
  Cassandra: Mm-hmm, okay, okay, rather than giving up like some people.
• 19:50
  Cassandra: Well, I failed.
• 19:52
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Right and in a way it's kind of like just because you changed course does not mean you're giving up, as you said.
• 19:59
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It does not mean that it's just accepting, it's kind of realizing no, that's more.
• 20:03
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Let me go on and do something else.
• 20:07
  Cassandra: Let's talk about a couple of the elements I find fascinating Humility.
• 20:14
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: What.
• 20:16
  Cassandra: Yeah, humility, what, what?
• 20:18
  Cassandra: What was going on in those interviews that enabled you to see that being humble is an element of happiness and peace and success?
• 20:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: No, the Buddha talked about this a long time ago.
• 20:37
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I think his thoughts for being humble was wisdom, and obviously I found so many other elements.
• 20:46
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But but I like, for example, when I think about somebody I interviewed.
• 20:52
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It was much more important to him to talk about the non-profits he created than than, the different shows he had managed or produced, and that's not like wait a second.
• 21:07
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: He had no regard for those shows, even though he was at Disney for a long time and he was so well accomplished.
• 21:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Or someone actually talked about in my book named Albie.
• 21:20
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: He sold over 100 million million.
• 21:25
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: He's a record producer records before the age of the internet.
• 21:29
  Cassandra: Wow.
• 21:31
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And it's funny because one of the news shows featured him and showed some of the Emmys he's gotten and the records from the Bee Gees or Barbra Streisand, and he could tell us Wow, it was like in his garage and I just got a feel for him when I spoke with Albie that you know what that was not important to him.
• 21:57
  Cassandra: And so what was important to him that you got out of it?
• 22:01
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I got out of it that it was, you know, his family, his life, his you know we was and who is like, like it was more of the love and the perspective of having people around him that was more important to him.
• 22:16
  Cassandra: Oh, interesting.
• 22:17
  Cassandra: What about, even though this isn't an element, but serving like service?
• 22:24
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: but serving like service you know like.
• 22:26
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So that went into kindness.
• 22:28
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And kindness is my second element, and the reason was because the people did not only treat kindness as something important to kind of pursue, but they were kind to themselves and they were kind to others.
• 22:46
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And they were kind in different respects.
• 22:49
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: They could have been like volunteers, one-to-one, or could have been owning an nonprofit, so kindness was important and that weren't service-oriented kindness.
• 23:03
  Cassandra: Okay, okay.
• 23:04
  Cassandra: Service one to kindness okay, okay.
• 23:11
  Cassandra: Um, when I look at all of these um humility, the resilience, the positivity I'm, I'm reminded of a story in the bible.
• 23:18
  Cassandra: I'm gonna go back to the bible and, uh, it was a king by the name of Solomon and you may have heard Solomon.
• 23:25
  Cassandra: He was the wisest individual.
• 23:27
  Cassandra: As God indicated, he will be the most wisest, if that's a term.
• 23:33
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But I have to read about him.
• 23:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I've heard of him.
• 23:36
  Cassandra: Yeah, very interesting.
• 23:37
  Cassandra: And there was a story.
• 23:41
  Cassandra: Well, first of all, in a dream, god asked him what did he want, you know, as a king?
• 23:49
  Cassandra: And he was like well, I'm so young, my dad knew everything.
• 23:53
  Cassandra: I didn't know a whole lot, so I guess I'm looking for just wisdom.
• 23:57
  Cassandra: And God was like, okay, well, we can do that.
• 24:00
  Cassandra: And he did.
• 24:00
  Cassandra: God was fascinated that he didn't want to be the best king, with all the wars and all of that.
• 24:06
  Cassandra: The only thing he wanted was wisdom and as a result of that, he got everything.
• 24:10
  Cassandra: He was very wealthy.
• 24:12
  Cassandra: And then I remember the story about two women, and they were both pregnant, and one of the women during her sleep, she rolled over the baby and she died.
• 24:23
  Cassandra: The baby died Late that night.
• 24:26
  Cassandra: She went to the other woman that had a baby and took her baby and the woman whose baby was living, she was like, I know, when she saw the baby, she knew that baby was not hers.
• 24:38
  Cassandra: Of course, she put the dead baby with the other one.
• 24:40
  Cassandra: So what they did was they went to the wise man, they went to Solomon, and Solomon was like okay, well, this is what I'll do, I will take a saw or a hatchet and cut the baby in half and then what happened is the real mother said forget it.
• 24:56
  Cassandra: The other mother said that's okay, cut him in half.
• 25:00
  Cassandra: And to me that was wisdom, that was, that was humility, that was like, it's like what you said, common sense, you know.
• 25:09
  Cassandra: But who would have thought about that?
• 25:10
  Cassandra: Who would have like, wow, ok, no problem, I'm going to cut this baby in half and then you can have this piece and you can have that piece.
• 25:16
  Cassandra: So that story to me, that was an element to me of wisdom, because who, who would have thought how would you have solved that issue?
• 25:27
  Cassandra: So, yeah, solomon, it's a lot of things in the book of Proverbs that that encapsulates a lot of these elements that you talked about.
• 25:36
  Cassandra: So I just want to yeah, I wanted to bring that out.
• 25:41
  Cassandra: And, solomon, it started in the first Kings, the first book of Kings.
• 25:46
  Cassandra: But Proverbs is what Solomon wrote, and it's just unbelievable how wisdom is richer than jewels.
• 25:56
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Oh yeah, and I tell people, or I think in my intro or the beginning parts, what I found is priceless.
• 26:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Yes, it's like something that will stay with you and that's why in my book Common Wisdom, I have a section which is not common to you, but I have a section of you write in your own thoughts of what something is to you, both now, maybe, and whatever time time in the future, because it's going to change.
• 26:28
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Like, for example, I was not a very spiritual person, I'm a physician, I'm a scientist.
• 26:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I didn't know what it meant, the divine meant, and we never learned about it.
• 26:41
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And we learned that if we did believe in it, we were in a way weak because it didn't make sense, we didn't see it with our eyes.
• 26:50
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So if you didn't see, you can't measure, then doesn't yeah, and and so now, though, I've become much more spiritual, I do believe that my body falling apart was what happened for me, and not to me, and it happened for me, so I could write this book and I could relay these important facts to the people.
• 27:13
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So so, yeah, it was.
• 27:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's funny, because initially, I did not think of it that way.
• 27:19
  Cassandra: Right, right, and that's one of your elements.
• 27:22
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Right, it was one of my elements, I agree.
• 27:26
  Cassandra: Exactly, and I think for me to elements Right, it was one of my elements, I agree Exactly, and I think for me to get to terms with it and you're right, I can't see it.
• 27:34
  Cassandra: So I just so it can't be because I don't see it.
• 27:35
  Cassandra: But then I remember, when I have a headache Can't anybody see the headache, but I can feel it so.
• 27:40
  Cassandra: So that's the kind of that's the way that I, I guess, saw things, you know, but yeah, it's based on how you grew up and what you believed and all of that.
• 27:52
  Cassandra: So, when you came from Iran, what was the lesson you learned by coming from a different country to the US?
• 28:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Yeah, I don't know if I learned anything I was so young but I think that upbringing and having done the project taught me what the second element was kindness.
• 28:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Right, and I did not grow up with kindness, it was not something that was revered in the Middle East.
• 28:22
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It was viewed as kindness revered in the middle east.
• 28:28
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It was huge business and and, as you know, now when I look back I'm like these people are so kind and yet it's something that was surprising, because it's not something that was ever on my radar wow, that's amazing.
• 28:39
  Cassandra: So so those types of um, what do I call them?
• 28:45
  Cassandra: I don't want to use the word elements, but, for the sake of using it, all of these things that you share, many people may take for granted.
• 28:59
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And I I mean I did.
• 29:02
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I took my health for granted.
• 29:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I assumed you can go walk a dog and you can go for a walk.
• 29:08
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's something you know.
• 29:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I can't do that.
• 29:11
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So, yeah, I think a lot of people take it for granted.
• 29:15
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But I like, for example, the last two elements creativity and curiosity.
• 29:20
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I remind people I'm like, oh no, you have people who focus on creativity, I don't have it in you.
• 29:29
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I'm like, no, no, no, we all were creative, curious at a point.
• 29:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Think about when you were a kid.
• 29:36
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Right, you can take the most random bed sheet and suddenly turn it into a fort.
• 29:43
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So you're always, you have it in you.
• 29:47
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's a matter of how much of it is important to you and how much of it you bring out.
• 29:51
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But, yes, you are a creative person.
• 29:54
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So when people think I don't have it, it's a way of taking it for granted.
• 30:00
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I agree.
• 30:01
  Cassandra: Right, exactly Now.
• 30:03
  Cassandra: Did you ever now?
• 30:04
  Cassandra: You came, came here US when you were six years old I don't know when you indicate your body started falling apart?
• 30:12
  Cassandra: I don't know at what age that was.
• 30:14
  Cassandra: Did you ever find out during this project what was going on with your body?
• 30:21
  Cassandra: Was going on with your body.
• 30:23
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I went through a few misdiagnoses.
• 30:25
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But yes, and I think I'm going to live with the chronic Lyme disease.
• 30:34
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: But again, same thing.
• 30:35
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: People did not assume it because I'm on the West Coast of the States and we don't have Lyme disease there Anyway.
• 30:46
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So Lyme does affect the joints and the brain, so it affected my joints and my brain.
• 30:51
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So anyway, so I'm in the process of working on that.
• 30:57
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Yes, I did find out, it was that.
• 31:00
  Cassandra: Okay, okay, Do you think?
• 31:03
  Cassandra: Well, this is probably a new question, but I'm like, if it were not for that, as you mentioned earlier, this project would not have taken place and it's a really weird way to think about.
• 31:22
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Whatever's happening is happening there for your greater good, and I would not have.
• 31:29
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I would have if my body was the same.
• 31:32
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I would have continued to be in your dog working.
• 31:37
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's similar.
• 31:38
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I was just done the same thing, Right?
• 31:41
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Yeah, and there's no way I would have pursued this, Right.
• 31:45
  Cassandra: Okay, right, okay, wow, and that's a different way and a very creative way of looking at it.
• 31:54
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Yeah, it's been a gift.
• 31:58
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: See, that's great I don't feel it Like I am suffering, but I definitely know deep down.
• 32:07
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Of course it's the gifts.
• 32:09
  Cassandra: Right, okay, and that takes me back to the title the Secrets.
• 32:15
  Cassandra: You called it the Secret Sauce of Happiness, peace and Success, and it's all about your perspective and how you see things and those elements that you mentioned.
• 32:26
  Cassandra: Now I saw you on television and I know your book is a number one bestselling book.
• 32:32
  Cassandra: Because I believe also that you, at this time, are living your best life on your terms, and I say that because you are at peace.
• 32:50
  Cassandra: Yeah, there are problems.
• 32:51
  Cassandra: We all have problems.
• 32:52
  Cassandra: We're all going to have problems, but you may even define where you are today as being successful.
• 32:59
  Cassandra: It's success for others.
• 33:01
  Cassandra: That kind of get a deeper, meaningful understanding of the things that you have accomplished.
• 33:06
  Cassandra: Now, based after the fact the book is done.
• 33:10
  Cassandra: You've been on television, people are talking about it, what do you think is next for you?
• 33:18
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I don't know.
• 33:19
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I do know.
• 33:21
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: My focus right now is my health okay and and it's funny because someone had copied or done like sizes for my book and my marketer was like we need to come up with the new version so not to confuse the buyer, why they copied this.
• 33:39
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And I'm like, honestly, I don't care right now.
• 33:44
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: My focus is my health and so I don't have to worry about anything else.
• 33:48
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So once my health is improved and I can walk around and I can speak normally, I don't know the fear.
• 33:56
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Do I enjoy speaking Absolutely?
• 34:01
  Cassandra: Okay, okay.
• 34:02
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So that's my hope, right, okay, okay.
• 34:06
  Cassandra: Okay, I was reading a few of your reviews, you know, after people read the book and it said they indicated that they were reminded by your book why life is beautiful and curiosity is worthwhile.
• 34:31
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Interesting.
• 34:31
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I remember seeing that.
• 34:33
  Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, and I thought, you know it's funny when you know, when you hear things like that, it's kind of like, as you know, your work's not done in vain, however, but if you could change the trajectory of an individual's life, that said, I'm reminded why life is so beautiful and curiosity is worthwhile that says a lot for what you've done.
• 34:57
  Cassandra: I thought that was amazing and also and the common wisdom is changing the way people live Someone said that as well, and I thought that was beautiful, thank you.
• 35:08
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Well, I know it's funny, I had written so many manuscripts published in academic journals that were so boring and so dense and I want to make this, not that.
• 35:21
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: And I'm also an immigrant, so I didn't want having a mastery of any English to be a barrier, so I really wanted to be simple but powerful, and that's what I did, that's what I told, but powerful and that's why I did what I told my editor and that's what we focused on.
• 35:38
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: That's good and that's why the book is not that long and it's easy to read and it's really an easy kind of uplifting.
• 35:48
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's not just a self-help book.
• 35:50
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I'm sure you saw that.
• 35:51
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's more than that.
• 35:53
  Cassandra: Yeah, I did, I did and I'm actually going to get you a book.
• 35:56
  Cassandra: Is it on Audible?
• 35:59
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It is, it's on everything, and if someone is interested in buying it.
• 36:03
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: The common wisdom is the name of the book and it's on Amazon.
• 36:07
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Okay, but yes, it's on Audible.
• 36:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: It's on Audible, it's on eBook, it has all the versions.
• 36:13
  Cassandra: Okay, now that your project is over and I'm going to ask you another question I asked you in the beginning, before the project how did you define wisdom?
• 36:23
  Cassandra: And you weren't quite sure.
• 36:25
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: No, I didn't know.
• 36:26
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I had no idea.
• 36:27
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I remember wondering who are these people, what is this?
• 36:32
  Cassandra: Right, exactly, exactly, wondering like who are these people, like what is this?
• 36:35
  Cassandra: Right, exactly, exactly so, now that you've done this project, how do you define wisdom?
• 36:39
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: oh, I definitely feel like it's so safe because everyone like for example, I quoted albert einstein from time to time a lot, I think, or a few times, but he's like, and he was so humble, he's like there's nothing different between me and someone who's just overly curious.
• 36:59
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I'm just overly curious, I'm oh no, there's a difference, but he was very humble yeah, I'm curious, of course, but he was very humble right so.
• 37:10
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I would definitely define it as those eight.
• 37:14
  Cassandra: Okay, great.
• 37:15
  Cassandra: Well, dr G, this conversation has been wonderful.
• 37:19
  Cassandra: I encourage my listeners to purchase your book.
• 37:24
  Cassandra: When you look at the reviews, you were like, wow, I can't wait to read this so I can be curious and see life as being beautiful and change my perspective about things that happens to me in my life.
• 37:35
  Cassandra: That is priceless, just like wisdom.
• 37:40
  Cassandra: It's just priceless.
• 37:41
  Cassandra: And it's interesting.
• 37:42
  Cassandra: Even in the book of Proverbs, when they talk about wisdom, I don't know the answer, but they always define it as she, she, s-h-e.
• 37:52
  Cassandra: When they they define wisdom, they say she did this, she did not.
• 37:57
  Cassandra: I found that fascinating.
• 37:58
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I'm not sure similar to mother earth, right, the earth we call as a female as well.
• 38:04
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: So I think the idea, yeah, I think it has that, that sense of taking care of you and there it does, so I'm sure you know, having embracing that does as well, yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
• 38:19
  Cassandra: I like that.
• 38:20
  Cassandra: The nurturing type, I like that.
• 38:22
  Cassandra: That's my answer for now.
• 38:24
  Cassandra: I love that.
• 38:25
  Cassandra: So, as we wrap up this podcast uncovering the secrets of happiness, peace and success, which is resilience, kindness, positivity, humility, creativity, spirituality, curiosity, did I miss one?
• 38:43
  Cassandra: No, I think.
• 38:45
  Cassandra: Three, four, five, six, seven.
• 38:47
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I think I got them all.
• 38:48
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: I think you forgot tolerance.
• 38:51
  Cassandra: Tolerance oh, that's a good one.
• 38:53
  Cassandra: Tolerance and boy do we need that.
• 38:55
  Cassandra: So, so, listeners, for those of you who are stuck, you know, in your heart of hearts you want to do something but you just can't do it because of those roadblocks, I encourage you to get common wisdom, to get Dr G's book, and I have a feeling that it's going to change some things in your life.
• 39:15
  Cassandra: And, dr G, thank you so much for your wisdom, your contribution to the world, for those who want to receive it.
• 39:25
  Cassandra: Like, everybody will not read it, but the right person will read your book, right?
• 39:29
  Cassandra: Yeah, exactly so for my listeners, if you believe that this podcast was just right on time, I ask that you share it, you replay it over and over and over and again.
• 39:46
  Cassandra: I thank you.
• 39:47
  Cassandra: Bye for now, all my listeners.
• 39:51
  Cassandra: God bless you and I love you.
• 39:54
  Cassandra: And thank you again, dr G.
• 39:57
  Dr. Laura Gabayan: Of course, thanks for having me.
• 39:59
  Cassandra: Yes.