Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1_ EPISODE #36 HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS_(SHOW #6)

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DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1_ EPISODE #36 HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS_(SHOW #6) · DA CREW Podcast

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  M hm admatize with us h t a enterprise. Allow your brands to be
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  heard and seen around the world on the Crewe podcast the hottest thing going on
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  this side of them and connect it to the Crew podcast and allow your brands
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  to be heard and seen around the world like a queen. Queen, I
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  want the sweet sweet squeeze. Oh no, it was the sweet, sweet,
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  sweet sweet good evening and welcome once again. This is the Believing the
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  Journey podcast where I believe that everybody has a story and a journey that needs
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  to be shared because along your journey you always figure out what the purpose you've
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  been created for. So welcome and let me just get started with the welcome
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  and the prayer. We can't do anything without God. God is the head
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  of my life and I believe and everything that He has directed for me to
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  do. So let's go to God in prayer. Dear Lord, thank you
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  for bringing us together as you do so often. We thank you for being
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  included on this side of the earth today. Continue to give us the strength
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  that we need to endure anything that we are facing, the things that we
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  don't even share with others. Continue to guide our steps and keep us confident
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  in who you have created us to be. The purpose in which you created
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  us is one that we are still uncovering each and every day as we go
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  closer to you. So I thank you and continue to watch over us tonight
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  as we go through this journey and continue to be the head of our lives.
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  In your purchase name Jesus, I pray amen. I want to introduce
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  you, guys to my guest tonight. It is Miss Antonia Barnes. She
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  was born and raised in Kingston, New York. She is a mother of
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  three, and she also is a writer. She's in the process of writing
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  her first book. She is a freelance model, and she is a patiently
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  liaison, and she also does freelance modeling and in her spare time which that
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  may not be very much as a mom or three, and all these other
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  things she got going on. She is she enjoys playing softball. So let's
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  welcome my guest, Miss Antonia. Tonight. Antonia, Hi, guys,
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  Hello, hello, and welcome Hi. Thank you for being here. You
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  know you have a busy, busy schedule. I just love Tell me how
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  you balance all of that. Um, honestly, I don't know how.
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  I balance it all. Um, I do I have a busy life.
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  I do. Um. I have an eleven year old, a nine year
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  old and now attempt up eleven month old. Okay, so we're busy.
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  We are busy. Um. I usually get spare time when they are sleeping,
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  when the house is quiet. Um I feel I feel like my my
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  home away from home is worked, you know, free time there because they're
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  in school and it's not my my mom day. But when I'm home as
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  well, I just get to you know, cater to them, hang out
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  with them, see how school was going, daycare you know, really is
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  kind of My kids are kind of how I get through life, how I
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  how I be balanced things. They go to sports with me, they go
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  to photoshoots with me. They they help me balance life. I don't help
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  them. Well, I definitely understand that. Now, do you have all
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  girls boy? Or I have two girls and my youngest is a boy.
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  Okay, So have they reached pretty much that with the girls? I know
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  because I have one girl and she's twenty six and she just had a baby.
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  So has she reached that stage to where you're trying to figure out whether
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  you're sweet little innocent little girl to that smart mouth teenage preteen situation because you
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  know it's that boy. Yes, I have a missed between the two.
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  She is sweet little girl at home, and she is somebody totally different when
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  she's with her friends. You know, stassium I know everything kind of thing,
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  and she's like, of course, Mama, no mom, and what
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  I ever? And it's like, girl, girl, you know ourselves as
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  though at that age we were the same way, so that I don't realize
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  that we did have lives before we had them, so we can pick up
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  on those little inn windows that they try so very hard to deny. Yes,
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  yes, I have to talk all the time. I talk all the
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  time, like Antonia. She's like, that's not my name. I'm like,
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  yeah, but you are me. You are me when I was loving
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  You're gonna be me when I was twelve. So every time even my dad,
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  like if she's doing something she gets in trouble, she's like, he's
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  like Antonia, and I'm like me or her. Our kids are really a
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  splitting image of who we are, and we don't realize how much we annoyed
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  our parents until we have those little people that reflect everything back to us that
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  we did to our parents, And that's one of the things that I think
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  I'm still learning about my kids even though they're older. It's like, Okay,
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  where you get this from? And my son, my oldest son,
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  will definitely tell me, well, I got that from you. I'm like,
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  okay, you know what. Yep, that's I mean, that's definitely
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  how they are. A lot of times I found myself like, hey,
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  Daddy, were right, because it's like when you when I was a kid,
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  I was like I knew everything. I just knew it. And now
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  that they're a kid, I'm like, I definitely used to say that and
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  I was totally wrong. So he's like, yeah, I told yourself.
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  I'm always like, you know, you were right. Um, now I
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  know what you were saying. When I was a kid, I don't know
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  at all, and now I no, I don't know at all. Yeah,
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  okay, I got another question for you. Um you told me in
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  your bio that you're writing a book. What is your book about? So,
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  I M I've been writing probably since I was like seventeen. I did
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  little poetry. I have never actually probabicly um shared any of my writing.
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  I was kind of I kind of have like a nervous thing where I'm like,
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  oh, I wonder if people are gonna like it, Like I don't
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  know, so I was kind of nervous to share it. And then I
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  was introduced to Shikima and Mark, who I do modeling with. Okay,
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  I had a Threads online like magazine kind of thing, and then somehow they
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  kind of wind in our conversation like oh, you're right, and I'm like
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  I do. So he's like, oh, I have this mage online magazine.
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  I want you to send me like a little script and I want to
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  see you know if you want to do it. So I sent him a
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  little spield and he writes back and he's like this, this is really good.
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  So I'm like, yeah, but I don't know if I want to
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  share my stuff. And then he's like, no, you should do it.
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  So now I do like little blogs every ting day, and I don't
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  necessarily have topics. Um, it's kind of just like whatever comes to mind.
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  But the book that I'm writing now, it's titled m the Worst that
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  I could Never say. It's a little bit of everything. It's like everything
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  that I've experienced in life. It's like poetry about like pain, about love,
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  about you know, suicide, awareness, depression, motherhood, postpartum.
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  Like, I feel like it's a little bit of everything, a little something
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  of everything that people can relate to and I own to and like i'd like
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  to read things down. I'm like, wow, like I feel you,
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  like I get it. So I like a lot of feedback also, like,
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  hey, guys, what do you think can you relate? You know,
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  what do you want to hear more of? So that's why my first
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  book is really just like everything. And then I feel like if depending on
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  the feedback, you know what people think, I think I would possibly write
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  like a memoir or like a book about myself about my life. Well,
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  listen, I'm gonna go ahead and encourage you to do just that because you
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  cannot be afraid and and hold yourself back wanting the acceptance of other people because
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  they may not give you the acceptance that you're look for. However, it's
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  not for them always, it's for you. And you have a very very
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  good outline that covers pretty much everything that people want to hear. And I'll
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  tell you this is just about me for a moment, because I was in
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  the same position and I was afraid to even write my first book. My
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  first book was poetry, and I used to share a little bit of poetry
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  online for years and people would always ask, when are you writing a book?
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  I'm not when are you gonna put that out? And they're like,
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  no, you need to put that in a book, and I was like,
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  no, I'm not gonna do that. And so finally I was just
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  like you know what. My best friend came over. She was like,
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  you need to go ahead and get started, and I was like, yeah,
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  okay, whatever, and so I attempted and then it was like,
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  yeah, I got mad with my laptop put that down. And so I
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  just had a conversation with God and I was like, God, I don't
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  know what to do. It may not be perfect. However, if it's
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  put together and it's accept it, then I'll run with it. And that's
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  basically what I did. So I want you to get out of your head,
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  get out of your own way, and put it together, because I
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  promise you the reward is greater than what you could ever think about. So
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  stop putting that hindrance and saying I don't know if they're gonna like me.
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  I don't know if they're gonna give me what I'm looking for, because it
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  doesn't matter if they give you what you're looking for. You it's something that
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  you can truly be proud of and say I did not allow fear to stop
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  me in that space because you you're great and I'm telling you this and this
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  is only just a few minutes that I've talked to you. You're great and
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  you're good, and just do it. Get out of your head and just
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  do it. I want to. I'm like, I contemplated it. I
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  contemplated it, and I have I've been ready for a long time, so
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  I have. But I'm like I have all the stuff, and I know
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  I have all these things to say, but then when it's time to say
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  it, it's like you think about it too much. Yes, I get
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  nervous. And I've been like recently invited to like do some of my like
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  poetry, like poetry slams. And this guy he reached out and he's like,
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  I read your blog every week and you're really freaking great, Like I
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  really want you to call me. I'm like okay, and I've like never
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  shown and then finally I'm like working up the gods and I'm like, maybe
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  I'll just go and we'll just we'll wing it. We're just gonna have to
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  listen. I'm gonna tell you you're gonna have to do that because I was
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  in the exact same way. I had a friend who was doing an open
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  poetry night and I had never ever shared my poetry in public, in person
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  or anything. I'm good at posting it, however, but she was like,
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  no, I need you to come and do this, and I was
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  like, oh my god, I'm absolutely freaked out. I am nervous and
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  I do not want to do this. And I sucked it up. I
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  did it, and it was one wonderful However, like there was some little
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  naysayers there, and it was as I was leaving the stage. It was
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  a guy. Because the poem that I did was entitled black Love, and
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  it was a very powerful poem. However, the little guy that when I
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  was getting off the stage, he was like, well, nobody even believes
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  in that. And I was like, okay, that's your personal opinion,
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  but it didn't stop me from doing what I did. And so as we
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  were leaving, I found him and I was like, you know what,
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  you could have easily kept that opinion to yourself. However, you felt the
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  need to say that, but it's because you haven't experienced love on your own,
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  and so you know you're gonna have those naysayers. You're gonna have all
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  of that, But don't do that to yourself. You have the power to
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  do that. So stop talking to yourself and telling yourself that no, I
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  can't do it, it's just not gonna work or whatever. I believe that
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  you can and stop saying, um, I can't. Just stop saying that
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  you can't. Yeah, that's I feel like that's I will. Yeah,
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  I've had like that, like even for family members. You know, not
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  everybody's there to support you. They may be there to see you, they
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  may be there to like view it, but then not everybody's gonna support what
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  you do. Um. So my first again like relatable. My first poem
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  was Perfections of a Woman. And I mean I'm not I'm twenty I'm twenty
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  eight, so I haven't lived like a million years. But for me to
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  experience love, to understand what we obviously feel like men as or what we
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  assume they want us to be could be totally different than what they're actually viewing
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  us as. So I a poem as like my perception and what a perception
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  could be. And I had a relative say, you know, I don't
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  think you should write about perfections of a woman if you've never really experienced life,
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  And I'm like, what, okay, when you can diminish your own
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  experience of life. And also people when they do that stuff, this is
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  what I've learned, is that they're placing their own insecurities on you, and
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  you should never allow anybody else to place that insecurity on you because they're insecure
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  and they would never do that. They would never see themselves in a different
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  space, in a different light. So if they wouldn't do it, they're
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  like, uh, if I'm not gonna do it, I don't want her
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  to do it, you know. And yeah, and that's kind of I
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  feel like that was a little motivation for myself as well, because it was
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  my very first piece. It was my very first time anyone ever reading my
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  stuff, and it was kind of like I got one negative comment and it
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  was like uh, and then I kind of realized, I'm like, my
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  perfections of a woman may be different than on other perfections of a woman.
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  And I felt like where she was coming from was she was an old she's
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  my aunt. She was older and she's like, you know, she had
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  a point in her own aspect, And I felt like if I was a
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  little more seasoned, if I was a little older, would you have enjoyed
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  it more? Or was it just a good piece? Like no matter who
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  wrote it, if there was no face behind it, if there was no
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  age behind it, was it a good piece? Could you relate? You
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  could? But because you felt that I was younger and I may, I
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  may speak to a younger party, it was less relatable in that aspect.
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  So I took it with a grain of salt. And I feel like I've
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  been doing it for maybe four months and it's been great, So I think
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  maybe I will do We're gonna change that vocabulary, Tobe, Yes, yes,
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  yes, and you will and you shall because it is all there.
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  There's no reason for you to keep yourself and keep the greatness of who you
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  are just to a select few, because it needs to be shared, it
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  needs to be said, it needs to just be out there. So I
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  want you to start changing that vocabulary to say I can, I will,
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  and I shall I will. Now, how much modeling do you do and
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  do you really enjoy it? Um in the aspect of freelancing or with the
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  company, or just however you do it. Do you enjoy it the most
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  or do you find it sometimes being awkward? Um? Okay, So I
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  have been modeling for probably about the same amount of time, maybe three or
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  four months. I did at first suffer with a little of like like my
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  body image. I could say my body image. I was like, you
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  know, I'm a I'm a you know, a plus size girl. I'm
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  considered a plus sized girl. Yeah. So I was like, I'm sure,
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  I'm like five two, so I'm like not the ideal runway model.
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  You know, I'm curvier. I probably can't wear two piece ideally. Um.
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  So I was kind of worried about that. And then my significant others
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  like, I think you should do a photo shoot. You're like, solutely
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  gorgeous. Do a photo shoot, Like that's my Christmas gift. So I'm
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  like seriously, and she's like, no, for real, Like I think
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  you should do it. So I went and I did it, and I'm
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  like awkward and I'm like posing and I'm like and he's like, are you
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  serious, Like it's you and a camera, Relax, relax, And I
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  like, after my first shoot, I was like, okay, like,
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  I hope my pictures don't come out crazy. I know. I was probably
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  like, e, this is weird. Don't look at me. And then
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  they came out and they were gorgeous, and I was like, is that
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  really you behind a camera like girl? And then he's like, I want
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  you to come back and do another shoot, so I'm like And then he
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  did it, and then he posted my picture and I get all these people,
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  and I get all these views and it's like one hundred thousand people and
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  I'm like, yeah, this is weird for me. And then he's like,
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  I think you should model for us, Like I think you should try
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  doing some modeling. And then once I started doing it more, it was
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  less awkward. Now, Okay, I know my angles. I know what
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  doesn't look good when I'm like, hey, my my neck is necking over
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  here, and I'm gonna do that one, like, you know, help
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  me look a little longer, a little shorter today. So like I enjoy
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  in the aspect of like just to show that like thicker girls can do it,
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  Like I do not have to be a double zero. I do not
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  have to be super like slim, Like I'm just as pretty exactly, you
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  know what I mean, Like I can model the scene kind of cold,
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  and you can. It's just gonna be a little bit bigger. So I
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  enjoy the part of it, be like just being able to like dress up
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  and be somebody totally different for like even an hour. It's like, ye,
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  I went from like wearing a Nike sweatshirt to like, I look like
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  I could be on good working And now even in the grocery shore they're like,
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  oh my god, you're the girl. That's it. I'm like,
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  hey, I am, I have my bonding on right now. I'm sorry,
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  but I look not saying you're sorry, because it's okay. Listen,
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  you're barely taller than me. I am for eight. In my pictures,
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  I look taller than for eight because I've learned my own angles. And then
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  when people actually see me in person, they're like, oh my god,
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  you really are sure. That's that. I get that all the time.
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  You're like, oh my god, girl, you look so long and like
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  this and that, and I'm like, yeah, no, I'm only five
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  too, barely. Yeah, it's the heels. It's my photographer. Yeah,
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  that's the thing. So I enjoy also the freelance part of it because
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  there's things that I could say yes and no too, so like it right
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  comfortable being like completely nude, Like I don't want to be the video vixing.
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  I don't want to be like less clothed. I'd rather out off that
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  we can be beautiful with all of our clothes on. We can be exactly
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  like in our natural state. We don't have to be completely dolled up.
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  Like I don't wear eyelashes and I don't necessarily wear makeup all the time,
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  and I'm still just as pretty without all of the extra So I enjoy it.
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  And I asked that because I can say absolutely not, like that is
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  not my thing. Yeah, be okay, And I can still get bookings
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  and I can still like totally be myself and and and still look like a
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  million bucks and like the cheapest things too, because I can drift shop exactly
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  getting praduct So that's a plus side, you know. And then I took
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  it like I've made a lot of friends in the process, like, um,
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  just like knowing a lot of people, getting to know a lot of
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  people, um, getting to travel and do more things. I feel like
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  as far as that I enjoy it, I do I do. I enjoy
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  it. I do. It's a good hobby. It is very fun to
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  do that. I do it part time as well. So our stories count
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  of parallel a lot here. And I didn't realize that until you started talking.
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  But with the writing, with the modeling, because I did my very
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  first photo shoot almost thirteen years ago, and I had no idea what I
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  was doing, had no clue. Plus being as short as I am,
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  it was like, Okay, look here, that ain't gonna work. This
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  ain't gonna work, God whatever, And so then it was okay, I
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  did that. The pictures turned out great, and then he was like,
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  okay, well I need you to come back. And then he would have
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  a concept or something. He was like, well I need you for this.
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  I'm like, okay, well sure, why not. So I've learned
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  myself to get out of my own space and get out of my own head
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  and just walk in to whatever it is for me and whatever it is for
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  you right now, it's for you. You just gotta be able to say
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  yes. And I want you to start saying yes and stop being so shy,
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  because I honestly, this is one thing that most people will not ever
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  believe about me, and I don't care if they don't. But I am
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  very, very shy, Like I am one of the shyest people you will
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  ever ever meet in life. However, that's just not believable to most people.
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  However, I've learned to walk in the space that God has created for
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  me to be able to do what I do now. Once this camera and
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  stuff goes off, I go back into my little shell and I stay there
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  until I need to come out again. So I want you to start embracing
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  everything about you because we want to see the beauty that you have to share
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  with us. And so I want you to change that vocabulary every day,
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  introduce a different word of progress to get you in bigger spaces because you have
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  it and we want to see it. You know, we don't want it
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  hidden away because a lot of times we grow older and we're still hidden in
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  so many spaces out of fear. And I don't want you to be in
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  that space. And you're being like thirty six and you're like, man,
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  I had an opportunity to do this, and I didn't take it because I
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  was fearful of what people were gonna think. People are always gonna be judgmental,
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  they're always gonna judge things that they don't quite understand and that they're not
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  comfortable with doing themselves. But don't let that stop you from being in the
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  space and taking care of the opportunities that are placed right there in front of
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  you, because they're right there. They didn't come your way just by chance.
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  They came your way because God designed that purpose for them to be there
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  for you. So take them, take the advantage, take that leap,
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  and just run with it, because if you don't run with it, you'll
• 24:56
  be sitting there shaking your head and looking like, man, I had a
• 25:00
  chance to do this and I didn't take it. Yeah, I feel like
• 25:06
  definitely now where I'm like where opportunities And I'm like, yeah, I'll get
• 25:10
  back to you. It's more like no, definitely, like I'll come.
• 25:14
  I'd like to. Like even with the podcast, I was kind of like
• 25:17
  I don't know, like I'm afraid to talk to people, like I'm really
• 25:22
  funny, I'm really spunky, like once I'm comfortable, but like I was
• 25:25
  like, guys, like I hate my voice on camera, Like and my
• 25:27
  sister's like, let's be for real, like seriously, like just do it.
• 25:32
  Get over it. You're fine. I'm like, all right, like
• 25:34
  I'm biting the bullet. I'm doing it. I'm gonna do it. It's
• 25:38
  like when it is it, I'm like, it's coming up. It's coming
• 25:41
  up. Okay, Like he was on me, She's texting me today like
• 25:45
  girl, you going, I'm yeah, I'm going. Because I was not
• 25:48
  gonna leave you alone because you committed to doing it. So I was gonna
• 25:52
  keep connecting and talking with you until today happened. Because I knew that you
• 26:00
  had something you needed to share. I knew that you needed something, a
• 26:03
  boost of confidence, a little bit more than what you already had, you
• 26:08
  know, because we shy away so often, and I can see and some
• 26:14
  of your responses that you were having, you like, I'm a little don't
• 26:18
  quite no, don't really know what this is. And so I was like,
• 26:22
  I'll just let it ease their way on in and we'll go from there.
• 26:26
  And so I was like, I see what we're doing, I see
• 26:29
  where we're going. It's gonna be fine. She'll be fine, she'll show
• 26:33
  up, it's gonna be fine. And so I was like, Okay,
• 26:37
  she's nervous. And I try my best to make anybody who comes on my
• 26:41
  show, feel comfortable and it's like a conversation that you would have with your
• 26:45
  home girl somewhere sitting men are women no matter what, they always feel comfortable
• 26:52
  with talking to me because I can relate because of the things that I've been
• 26:56
  through in life. And sometimes you just need a list in an ear,
• 27:00
  somebody who's not gonna judge, somebody who's just gonna sit there and listen to
• 27:04
  what you have to say. And being a mom, you listen to your
• 27:08
  children all the time, and sometimes you don't even want to listen to them.
• 27:11
  You just feel like if you get somewhere and sit down, I don't
• 27:15
  want to talk to you right now. I don't even want to talk to
• 27:18
  myself, but you want to talk. So I need an adult to talk
• 27:23
  to because this child has talked my head off for thirty minutes about something I
• 27:29
  have no idea what they're even talking about. And so embrace everything that you're
• 27:37
  doing right now. Okay, yes, embrace everything that you're doing. Get
• 27:45
  that book together. If you need a publisher, I'm here to help you
• 27:48
  with that. If you got any questions or anything about that, I'm here
• 27:52
  to help you with that as well. Because I've taught myself the publishing thing
• 27:56
  because I didn't want anybody to chant change what I was putting out there,
• 28:02
  because you know, sometimes you go into spaces where people want to change your
• 28:07
  story and it's like, I'm not doing this to sensationalize anything. This is
• 28:12
  the life that I've lived, and this is what I want people to know.
• 28:15
  Having a stroke at the age of thirty, having a major setback at
• 28:21
  the age of thirty four to where I lost my ability to speak, I
• 28:25
  lost the use of my left side and all of that. But to me
• 28:27
  to share that with someone else and for them to look at me now and
• 28:32
  to hear me now, it's a whole different ball game. You would never
• 28:37
  know that I've ever had a stroke, You would never know that I lost
• 28:38
  my speech. You would never know any of those things about me if I
• 28:44
  didn't choose to share it, you know. So you got a story to
• 28:48
  share, You got your poetry that you speak on, your perspectives, from
• 28:52
  your encounters and your experience, and nobody can ever diminish your experience because it's
• 28:59
  yours. It's uniquely yours, and it's yours for a reason. And so
• 29:03
  share that with people because they need to hear that, and they need to
• 29:07
  see, you know, different walks and different aspects and different perspectives so that
• 29:11
  they can get something from it and grow from it because it's necessary. So
• 29:18
  you know, always share that if you need me to get you into other
• 29:22
  places or whatever, so that you can get out of that comfort zone,
• 29:27
  because you can't grow in a comfortable space. You gotta get a little uncomfortable.
• 29:33
  And when you start to feel uncomfortable, know that God's moving you to
• 29:36
  a better place because you got to get uncomfortable to get to where He's trying
• 29:40
  to get you to go. And there will be a season of isolation where
• 29:44
  everybody can't go where He's trying to take you, and learning to let go
• 29:48
  of those people that can't go with you to that next level. It's a
• 29:52
  hard lesson for most of us to learn, too, because we'll hold on
• 29:55
  to him until our hands bleed and then we have no other choice but to
• 29:59
  let go. So but I have really and truly enjoyed talking to you.
• 30:06
  But I got another question before I let you go. Yes, absolutely,
• 30:11
  the balancing of life with children patiently as modeling. Is there one thing that
• 30:19
  you truly truly enjoy besides being a mom, because I know that's the greatest
• 30:23
  gift that we ever have. Which one do you enjoy more? Patient care?
• 30:30
  Are the modeling? Are your writing? Now that's a hard one.
• 30:36
  I know I enjoy writing. I truly enjoy writing. Like I feel like
• 30:42
  I've been through a lot, like you know, I've I've been a mom
• 30:45
  since I was sixteen years old, okay, parents life a lot earlier than
• 30:51
  and then most of my peers. You know, I've had to learn how
• 30:55
  to grow up, how to mature, how to be a mother, how
• 30:56
  to have somebody look up to me and have the look up to me and
• 31:00
  and be proud to look up to me as well. So I feel like
• 31:03
  with all of that, I know that I have something to say, and
• 31:07
  I, like you said, there's not always people that are willing to listen,
• 31:10
  but there are people that are willing to listen, and there are people
• 31:12
  that you know, my writing had can help has help. So I feel
• 31:17
  like although I'm shy to like have that conversation, I feel like in my
• 31:22
  writing like I can express it and say like, hey, like here you
• 31:26
  go, like this is me, this is what it is. It's raw,
• 31:30
  it's I'm trud it's really the good um, and I don't apologize for
• 31:33
  it. That's the only thing that I don't apologize for it is you know,
• 31:37
  being able to express myself and giving somebody, you know, a platform
• 31:41
  to say like I get it and I understand and I can relate. Um.
• 31:48
  So I feel like that that's that's it for me. I feel like
• 31:52
  it's the writing, Like, especially since my mom passed. She definitely was
• 31:56
  my biggest supporter. She um, she passed and can't but she was my
• 32:01
  biggest supporter and anything I wanted to do, whether I wanted to be dancing,
• 32:05
  we traveled across the world. She's waiting for you to write this book.
• 32:12
  Yeah. She has inspired me to like have a voice, um,
• 32:15
  to like, you know, just do what I need to do to express
• 32:20
  myself. My sister too. My sister is definitely my biggest supporter. She's
• 32:22
  like siss Like she'll even write me certain days and say like, I'm just
• 32:27
  feeling down today and I need something to indulge in. And I'm like,
• 32:30
  okay, I got you. Give me an hour and then I'll send her
• 32:34
  something and she's like, how did you know this is how I was feeling?
• 32:37
  And I'm like because I feel you like I exactly, So definitely we
• 32:43
  need the book. Okay, So we're gonna set a deadline to have this
• 32:47
  book because it's necessary. You don't understand just how powerful that is going to
• 32:58
  be for you and for those who need to hear it, need to read
• 33:01
  it, need to see it. They need you just as much as you
• 33:06
  need them. But we can't ever get it until you do it. You're
• 33:12
  absolutely righting, So I'm gonna I'm gonna get on that. I think I
• 33:15
  have I have enough writing to even get my book out, you know soon.
• 33:22
  Okay, Okay, Okay, we're gonna have a headline. We're listen.
• 33:27
  This is not the last time you're gonna hear from me, Okay,
• 33:31
  so just prepare yourself. Okay. I'm looking forward to it, okay,
• 33:39
  because I feel it necessary. This wasn't about chance, circumstance or bouy chance
• 33:45
  meeting, even though it was scheduled. But this had nothing. This was
• 33:49
  a divine presence because God disignest for us to be and meet and do this,
• 33:53
  because nothing is planned by us. In my opinion, God plans and
• 34:02
  designs our paths and who we're supposed to meet along that way, and we
• 34:07
  were supposed to do this today regardless, and if anything was gonna try to
• 34:13
  hinder that, God was not gonna have any parts of that. It was
• 34:15
  gonna happen. So you know, we had a little bit of technical difficulty
• 34:20
  in the beginning where we couldn't hear you but you could hear us. But
• 34:24
  other than that, it was still going to happen because God said so.
• 34:30
  So we're waiting on you to give us those words. Okay, we need
• 34:37
  the book. We're gonna be waiting for that book. And if I can
• 34:43
  do it not once, not twice, but three times and did it myself,
• 34:47
  I know that you can, and I know that you will, and
• 34:52
  I know that you shall so and I know that I'm going through all right.
• 34:58
  Listen, we are making progress already, and I love we are well.
• 35:05
  I thank you for being with me tonight. I've enjoyed this conversation.
• 35:08
  And if you want to come back, please let me know and we will
• 35:13
  definitely set up another day in time to where we can do this again because
• 35:17
  I would love to have you back. I would love to be back,
• 35:22
  all right. All right, Well, before I go out, I have
• 35:25
  to say this one thing that I always say, and that is mind your
• 35:30
  business and stay out of God's. Because God is God all by himself.
• 35:34
  The only thing that he needs from us is to our obedience. So I
• 35:37
  love you and thank you for being here. Thank you so much. Goodnight
• 35:42
  y'all. Mama always told me maybe you gotta walk by faith and not by sight.