Latest / The You Project / #2160 Old and Awesome (Hopefully) - Bobby Cappuccio

Transcript

#2160 Old and Awesome (Hopefully) - Bobby Cappuccio · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Good eight team. It's Harps, it's Tiff, it's Bobby. It's
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: the project that you will start with the lady in
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the room. And I mean you this, I'm not even
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: been funny. Oh she puts both her hands up.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Look, yes, I'm like god, other guest I can't see
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: on the screen.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, come on your lady. How's it going, cook?
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: It's going fabulous? Thank you? Yes.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Are you still basking in the glory of your one
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: hundred and seventeen point five kilogram deadlift the other day,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: which you only posted nine hundred times on social media?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you missed one platform.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Wait till I do it again, mate? Are you going
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: to see exact same thing?
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I love?
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: You were talking.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: You were talking to me about going to Ireland, and
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: you were showing me this photo of this beautiful little
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: town that looks like the whole town is created out
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: of an Art Deco project or something. Yeah, and your
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: main reason for going over there is to get really
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: good selfies.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: How good you're going to look in front of the town.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: That's hilarious. Before we go to Bobby, just walk us
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: through the one seventeen point five Now, remember.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: This is a are you forty three.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Yet you are three or just turned forty three, forty.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Three year old young lady who's deadlifting one seventeen, which
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: is double her body weight. How did it feel? Did
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: it feel stupidly heavy or did it go up?
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Alright?
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: No, it went up reletive, I mean there was, it
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: went up. It went up all right, like slower, slower
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: than not sharp. I wasn't definitely not going to get
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: a second rep just yet, but felt very stable. I'm
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: not one that struggles through reps on deadlifts. It either
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: comes up relatively easy or we wait.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Excited, and I think I think you've got heaps left
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: in you, because then this will be super engaging for
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: the audience who don't give a fuck about deadlift or
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: by mechanics or leavers or fucking positioning. But anyway, that's
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: where we're going from it, Bobby. But because of the
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: way you do it, which is somewhat biomechanically inefficient with
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: not optimizing one's leverage, I reckon, I reckon, right now,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: you've got a one thirty in you, but we just
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: need to change your technique a tiny bit. But anyway, congratulations,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: it's bloody amazing.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you ever so much. You know what makes me
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: excited about it?
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: I really miss that having a competitive purpose to training
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: and so having something that gets me a bit excited
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: and makes me want to get back to the gym
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: to perfect something or to work harder or to have
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: a goal is really fulfilling that. I mean, boxing used
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: to be that for me and I eb and flow
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: with it. But because it's not, you know, I'm just
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: the driver of it. There's no competition, there's no coach
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: as such.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: There's obviously there's.
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: You helping me push further in different ways, but yeah,
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: that competition part is something I really miss.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes the best the best to part as you.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: It's like you against you, like I enjoy I enjoyed
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: being able to do stuff now that I couldn't do
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: when I was forty, and I think, oh that's pretty good,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: you know, or because I've had a multitude of injuries.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: But like last night, we were in the gym and
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: you and I did We were just alternating chin ups
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: and push ups and I couldn't do because I've torn
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: both rotator cuff and I ruptured my right peck. Just
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: like Bobby, who will come to in a moment. Sorry, Bobby,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: my shoulders are pretty fucked. But for some reason, I've
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: just been eking up the push ups, like literally five
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: push ups, you know, and then ten and then some
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: kind of back up to around thirty. Which it's not
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: about the thirty push ups, it's about the fact that
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: there's not excruciating pain.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: From number three.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: And so yeah, it's like the strongest I've been in
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: that movement for about fifteen years, which, by the way,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: everyone is very underwhelming to do thirty push ups, but
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: for me anyway. But yeah, so it's good.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I was curious.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: I always get curious about benchmarks, and I went into
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: Chatters and I said, I'm a sixty two ish kilogram
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: female at forty three, I just did twenty five push ups,
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: so strict form chester ground full lockout. What would a
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: what would that equate to a with a one rep
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: max bench Because I'm just interested in how that transition
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: is really interesting because it said the fifty five to
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: sixty kilos, which is about what I bench.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: It nice to be able to get that info.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah, there's so many variables around both around
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: bench and also around the push ups, but that's actually
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: a very good estimation. I don't know what their bloody
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: formula was for that. Bobby, how's your broken old body going?
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: Oh it's going horribly. Not nearly as well as this intro, which,
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: by the way, green intro. I just want to bring
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: us up. I just think this intro is going swimmingly.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Has it been a smart ass? Because this is our second.
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: Go we did do this.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I went for five minutes.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Well we did do this fifteen minutes ago. Everyone but.
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: A man compliment another man's intro without it being a
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: big thing in today's day and age.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: No, you can't go because you're here, because you're a
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: smart ass. And he went at all, being genuine and
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: really let me finish my sentence. Let me finish.
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: So we were doing to dare you? Yes? I love it?
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: He gets angry. His face gets a bit red.
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, go on.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Is a bit hard to read, isn't it. Do you
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: think if you find Bobby sometimes you're like, is that
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: a joke? Or is that suiting? You have to pause
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: a little bit.
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: I've got to that. So I'm on the spectrum. Of course,
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: I'm hart to read. I can't even read myself. I
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: know what you're thinking of feeling like, right now, your
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: face has an expression, it's doing some weird shit. I
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: can't interpret what it means.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: You're a little bit Sheldon Cooper.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: You know, you'd probably be good on the Bloody Poker
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Tour with your face because you don't even know what
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: the fuck's going on with it, So nobody else.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Nobody's going to own mind. Yeah, nobody's going to be
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: able to read that, especially.
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: If I'm ticking.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Oh that's the best I reckon. If I've asked you
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: forty times in the last ten years how your training
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: is going, it's always You're always saying it's shit, ombshit
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: my body's ship. Are you ever going to get back
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: to trying to get in? I mean, you're in good shite,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: but functional and strong and healthy.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: Again last year and I don't even know how I
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: did it. And then I think I was misdiagnosed. I've
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: actually I have an ac joint separation. They I mean
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: they they they did an MRI, and my doctor she
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: was like, oh, no, everything you know. I mean, you
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: have tendinosis and like all of your tendons are super inflamed,
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: and your rotate cuff bicep tend and She's like, I
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: don't know what you did there. You have some you
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: have some fractures in you're clavigal, and you know, some
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: degeneration in there. And I was like, all right, yeah
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: that makes sense. And then I went to see another
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: doctor and he was probably accurate. He said, yeah, you
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: you definitely have a little bit of ac joint separation.
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: I was like, that's what I thought. I was like,
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: the other doctor said I didn't, and then he got nervous.
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: I think he wanted to contradictors, like, oh, well, you know,
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: I'm not really good at reading MRIs. I was like, okay,
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: that's that's disappointing.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: So it seems like a doctor things, Yeah, I'm not
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: put at that. I skipped that semester.
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: I went to another doctor that gave me like that
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: steroidal shot, which did not help in the slightest made
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: things a lot worse. And then my training was getting
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: a bit better. I moved, was lifting a bunch of
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: heavy boxes a couple of weeks ago, and yeah, my
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: shoulder is completely jacked. So tested positive on a couple
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: of physio assessments for ecy joint separation. I think I
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: was trying to do a front race today with two kilos.
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: Couldn't do it.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: So when you do that, you talk about with a
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: dumbbell obviously, do you have your hand totally pronated?
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, it's neutral. I keep the shoulder and neutral.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: Still could not do it, which, yeah, so I gotta
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: go get another MRI unbroken.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I tiff. When you talk to ladies just out and
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: about not let necessarily all your your girl bro friends
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: in the gym, who are all a mini me of you.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: What did ladies think in twenty twenty six?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I'm generalizing, but what's there feeling about lifting heavy stuff
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: and getting strong?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: It seems to be way more embraced than it was.
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: Definitely, definitely is, and I love that. Usually women will
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: raise that with me, like, oh I need to start
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: doing some street training, I need to start doing weights,
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: And I love that conversation.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's far less, you know, both genders
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: across the board general pop, there's far less. There still
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: lots of ignorance, but far less ignorance around what you
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: know a female lifting weights is going to do. Literally,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: I used to have almost every week someone will to
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: come into Harper's my joint, and they'd say something like, yeah,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: maybe lift weights, but I don't want to look like you.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: And this is I'm like, how do you think it works?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Like? You know, I was one hundred kilos, I'm showing
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: them around the gym and here's a sixty kilo lady
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: from fucking mentone and she's like, well, if I look
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: like you, I don't want to do it. I'm like, well,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: thanks for the compliment, but secondarily defensive.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: That you think it would be that easy that you
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: could just achieve that.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Oh like the amount of ignorance in the old days
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: around strength training and basically the moment that women would
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: look at well, it was unlady like, it was inappropriate,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: it was unnecessary.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: It was like a man thing, which is.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Such such a silly psychology and silly perception of what
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: goes on. But my cure used to be this, I'd say,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: because I had a bunch of girls that worked for me,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Ladies that worked for me that were jacked and fit
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: and strong and lean and athletics. So when someone would
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: say something like that, I would point to one of
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: one of my trainers, one of my female trainers, and say,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: how do you think she looks? And they'd be like,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, I wish I could
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: look like that. And then I would say okay to
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: girl called Sally work for me. I go Sal, and
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: she'd look over and I go, how often do you
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: train with waits? And she'd say, oh, four or five
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: days a week and I'd go, how long you've been
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: doing that? She'd be like seven years? And then total
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: one eighty, like complete one eighty?
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: When can I start? Give me a kettlebell?
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: You know? Like when they said I don't want to
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: look like you, how do you know that they were
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: talking about your body?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: That's true, that's true. Well either way, I don't blame
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: them because I've got a head like a robber's dog,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: as Mary tells me. So you know, nobody wants that,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: and I don't blame them. And I'm okay with that. Robert,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: and I know you're being funny, but there's some truth
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: in it. I'm all right with it. You, on the
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: other hand, are a good looking rooster who happens to
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: say fuck shit cock come inappropriate times. But that's all right.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: We love that. But you're my weirdo. As I always say.
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: Sorry, mom.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Ah dear, it's such a panacea for so many things.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's not a cure all for everything, but
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: it is. It is interesting that we've got access to
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: something which is so broadly helpful and therapeutic, but people
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: still stay away from the gym in droves. Like we think, oh,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: so many people go to the gym. Now, it's still
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: very much a minority of the population.
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: It definitely seems to be the majority of people on Instagram, though, to.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Be fairy, I think that's on your feed, my feed,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: and TIFFs feed. I reckon, if you went to Mary's
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: feed on Instagram, no one's going You're all trying to
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: figure out how to keep their teeth in so when
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: they're laughing, that's not nice.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: That's the trouble with today's algorithms.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Though.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Right in our world, everyone goes to the gym. Everyone.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: That's wait everyone, you know, it's it's a.
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: It does reshape your perception of reality. Yeah, I mean
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: that's something that really irritates me when somebody says, oh,
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: there is no your truth or my truth, there's only
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: the truth. It's like, wow, that is littered with convenient assumptions.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: I mean, that doesn't mean that doesn't go to say
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: that there is not an absolute truth two and two
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: you know always will equal four. You know, if you
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: think gravity is a mental construct, well, life could get
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: quite dangerous for you if you step off of high places.
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: But I mean, when it comes to how we live
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: in experience and how many influences literally shape our sense
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: of reality, and how deep those roots into our psyche
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: go and how real it is for us, it's very
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: dismissive to go, well, there is no my truth or
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: your truth, There's only the truth. And that's also suggesting
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: that one individual is a complete lack of a grasp
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: on reality. But the person who knows about the truth, oh, well,
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: they got their shit completely together. They know how things
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: are because they think rationally, which once you get to
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: that point where you're like, I'm a rational thinker, you
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: develop these strongly entrenched cognitive biases and thought fallacies to
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: support that perspective, driving you further and further away from
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: what you consider the truth in the first place.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it's funny, like there are so many
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: echo chambers and you know, kind of little ideological or
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: thought cults, you know, in society and on the internet
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: and social media more broadly. But the funny thing is
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: that we all get stuff from like all of us,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: we all fuck up. We all think we know and
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: then one day we find out we don't know. We
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: all have a super passionate lief that our identity is
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: intertwined with and then one day you figure out that
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: belief was flawed or somewhat flawed or completely wrong or
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: but that's one of the like people have this addiction
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: to being right. Not everybody, not all the time, but
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I have to be right. And by the way, I'm
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: right and you're wrong, and I know and you don't know.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: So by the way, you stupid motherfucker, tune into me. Listen.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: You know, it's that whole thing of you know, this
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: ego driven attention seeking. Listen to me rather than well
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: this is what I think, but I could be wrong
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: because I've been wrong a lot, Like I've been wrong
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: about so many things.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: And even then when you come you.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Know that, what's that expression like the science doesn't lie
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: or something, I'm like, are you familiar with the history
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: of science?
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: Have you?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Have you opened the door on the bullshit that used
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: to be called scientific law or fact or in disputable evidence?
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Do you know what they used to say science was
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: and how you know, It's like people don't realize that
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: science is. Science didn't exist till there were humans. It's like,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: this is an idea that we created and expanded on
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: to be able to try to understand the world without,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: you know, around us and the world within us. But
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: all of it is constructed and interpreted by humans in
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: the first place, who were all fucking flawed. And then
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: to think we've got this thing that's flawless, well, no,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: like none of it is. But people are so emphatic
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: about this is like you said, Bobby, the absolute, unequivocal
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: truth this and then you're like, ah, whatever, it's not though.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: It's not even willing to entertain. Could I not be wrong,
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: but could I be incomplete or lack the torutality of
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: perspective to formulate that conclusion. Or let's say I am
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: one hundred percent right about something, not me, because that's absurd,
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: but an individual, am I even willing to entertain that
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: somebody else with a completely different set of experiences trauma history,
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: hereditary environment might have a different perspective And it's that
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: unwillingness to consider. And I don't know if we're all
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: like completely mind fucked, Like you said, Tiffany, we're living
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: in this echo chamber where we see a completely different
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: version of reality than another person is saying. Or maybe
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: people are just terrified because the world seems so out
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: of control, and whatever my belief systems are, that's the
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: thing that gives me some level of predictability and safety.
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: I don't know. Or maybe we're just losing the willingness
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: to empathize with one another. I don't know what's driving this.
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: Maybe the above, but it's getting pathological, which which is scary.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Do you want to think about habs and Bobby? What if?
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: Because I think about I've been thinking about it lately.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: What if the very best thing for me and way
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: to live my life and do life is something that
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: I have never even thought of, and like you think
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: of I feel like you, Craig, try and do and
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: think on a really broad spectrum, so I feel like
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: you would have thought of this before. But I feel
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: like once you move into something that feels really exciting,
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: like I love what I do.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I found it.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: I realized when I found it that it was a
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: million times better for me than the way I used
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: to do life and work and lifestyle.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: So it became, oh, this is me, and then I
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: believe that.
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: But what if what if the my highest potential and
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: my most of the doing life could come from something
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I haven't even entertained the idea of yet.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what that reminds me of.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: What if Tiger Woods grew up in a different place,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: with a different family, in a different environment and never
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: touched a golf club. But it was the same guy
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: with the same genetic and athletic potential, but he just
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: never got introduced to that thing, or he would have
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: been Tiger Woods truck driver or Tiger Woods neurosurgeon or
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: whatever the fuck he became. I think, you know, for me,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: a really good starting premises. I don't know most things.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: That is not being humble, that is just being honest,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know most things of all there is
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: to know. Yeah, I know almost nothing, and I think
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: that's true for everyone, but we don't want to say
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: it because we want to seem knowledgeable. So I think
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: if you can approach all of this, who am I
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: and what am I capable of? And also even when
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: we go do you want to be the best version
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: of yourself? Everyone goes fuck year. Do you want to
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: optimize you? Fuckyeared? Do you want to be you tube
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: point zero? Yeah, let's all walk on fucking hot coals,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: high five each other, rock music.
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Cool?
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: And then what if you do develop that part of you?
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Like, does that necessarily equal joy or happiness or contentment?
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe it equals fucking anxiety? Who knows? Like, I think
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: there are more philosophical and perhaps intelligent questions than that.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Not to say yours was unintelligent. I think it's a
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: great question, but there it's broader as well. It's like
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I I remember when I wrote my first book and
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I wasn't young, I was in my kind of late thirties,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: and I went, I will like, well, you're not an author,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: you're not a writer. And then when I started writing,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: as in writing books, not just writing bullshit here and there,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: but writing books, and I realized.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, you're actually okay at this.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: And it takes me a lot to say something publicly
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: that's not self deprecating, but people read it and people like,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: this is fucking great. And it wasn't.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Great, but they loved it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: I went, oh, And then it took me a long
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: time to realize, like I already knew I wasn't athletically
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: gifted at all, but I knew that I was gifted
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: at working with athletes, even though I didn't have their
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: genetic or sporting prowess or potential I never would have, right,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: but I was good at working with them. And I
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: realized that I guess I thought I was just this logical, practical,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: not particularly scientific or academic guy. And then I did
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: a science degree and went quite, well, you know, excise science.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And then I went, oh, because I constantly underestimated estimated
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: myself while not never realizing, never coming to the point
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: where I went, I'm actually fucking brilliant, because I'm not,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: but I actually have more potential than I thought I did,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: you know, And then trying to figure out that, like
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: my goal at sixty two is to keep learning, to
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: keep evolving, and to have learn new stuff, have new experiences,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: help more people. But also I just heard this fucking
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: incredible thing said by Arthur C. Brooks. Bobby, you might
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: know this because you're a bit more well read than
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: I am. But do you know who Arthur C. Brooks is?
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: You two?
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: No, anyway, this really cool guy.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: And he said, like he spoke with the Delai Lama,
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: and the Delai Lama like, you know, everyone, a lot
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: of Westerners want to do Buddhism because it's cool and
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: you can find yourself and calm yourself and all that,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and the Dalai Lama said, he recommended that most Westerners
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: don't do Buddhism or don't become a Buddhist. And he's
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: like why, he said, because it isn't about you, it's
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: about everyone else. It's not for you. It's not to
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: make you feel better, it's not to make you feel calmer.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: It's not to give you joy. It's for you to
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: give it to everyone else. There's no self fishness, there's
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: no me at the center of it. And we're also
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do that because I want to be
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: more of this.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: I want to be less of that. I want to
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: be calmer.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I it's not a fucking eye journey. It's a spiritual,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: selfless journey about others.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Here's a irony in that though, But yes.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: You are helping yourself by helping others.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: I know. I feel like the more the more I'll say, Mick,
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: the smaller I become, the more I minimize me and
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: focus on others, which I do not always do because
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: I'm filled with anxieties and you know, I'm very selfish.
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: But the more I focus on others, the happier I am,
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: the better my state of well being. The more I
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: put myself in the center of my life, even though
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: you're told you're supposed to do that, and to a degree, yeah,
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: put your oxygen mask on you first before helping another.
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: I jem the wisdom in that, but in as a
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: way of life, the more I put something or someone
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: before myself, the happier I become. And the more I
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: start to become self focused for whatever reason. Yeah, the
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: more anxious I become, the more miserable I become. So
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: I think there's something really there that are deeply entrenched
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: philosophy not all of us in the West will not
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: let us go toward. I feel like collectivism does not
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: have to come at the sacrifice of the individual.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I agree.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: I was.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I was as we record this. It is Thursday, heading
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: towards lunchtime, and so Tuesday night, and you two know
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: this story. Oh, Bobby doesn't know the totality of it.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Tiff does. But so I was sitting eating my dinner,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: looking a bit of shit on my computer and my
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: phone rings and anyway, the quick version is Dad's fallen.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Dad's in the hospital. Dad smashed his head for the
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: hundredth time. And this is the guy with a multitude
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: of medical problems and challenges already, right, And I was
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: before the phone call.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: I was thinking about stuff, and there was some low.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Level anxiety and worry and overthinking about the shit I
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: needed to do and boxes I needed to tick, and
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: my to do list for tomorrow and UNI and this
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: paper and all this stuff. And then I get this
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: phone call. All of that melts away. I don't even
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: think about it, and literally five minutes later, I'm in
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: the car and I'm driving two and a quarter hours
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: to get to the hospital today d DA today and anyway,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: So I've spent most of my time since then with
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Ron and Mary or trying to figure out the Ron conundrum.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: And it's funny how instantly everything else didn't matter. It's
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: not that it didn't matter, but it just wasn't In
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: my mind. There was no stress, there was no anxiety
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: about any of that in the context of something that's
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you know, when it's somebody else that you love, or
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden you realize, Oh, this is me,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: just sitting at my desk, being almost bored, inventing problems
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: that aren't really problems.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: This morning. So I left.
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: We had coffee with a friend of yours, and I
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: went to the gym, And as I was driving home,
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I proposed up and I thought, because I thought to myself,
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: and I don't often think like this, not lately, and
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: that annoys me. But I just thought, if all you
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: do today is spend time with a friend.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: With them and.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: Appreciate the good things about your life, then you've already
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: won the day, like you've already done the best for
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: your health, for your mental health, for your body, for
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: your soul, for everything. And then whatever else you get
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: done on top of that is great, but just noise,
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: because how many.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Days do we not do that?
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: How many days we rush through the list of priorities
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: and strive and push and minimize everything. Don't see a
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: friend and don't think my life is pretty fucking great?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you can be in the
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: middle of all of the productivity and efficiency and box ticking,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: But if you don't have deep connection with at least
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: one other human, I mean deep love, feel loved, feel connected,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: feel important, and you're not giving that to somebody else
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, it's very difficult to experience joy. You know,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Like some of the people that I talk to that
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: are spectacularly lonely and disconnected and medicated for anxiety and
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: depression and all the things. From the outside looking in,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: you would never ever guess that because they're charming and
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: chatty and extroverted. And it's not that that's fake, but
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: that's more a persona they put on for the world.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: They're still them, They're still nice. But yeah, it's like,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: but then away from that kind of yeah, and you can,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: as we know the old cliche cliche, you can be
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: in a room with a one hundred or a thousand
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: other people and be still be incredibly lonely and disconnected.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: You know. So you don't need to be around a
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: lot of people, do you, Bobby Like, you like being
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: around a lot of people. But in terms of close,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: deep connections, it's not like you have fifty right.
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: I feel like an ambrovert. I do have people in
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: my life that have very close personal connections with Now
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: I'm feeling really guilty because I skipped a team happy
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: hour today because I was like, oh, I'm not going
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: to get back in time for podcast, and I'm like, yeah, exactly.
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, I should have went. I should have
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: just dialed in. I could have done it both. It's
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: an hour drive each way. You're so selfish. Two hours
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: on the road to connect with friends. If that's all
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: I did today, according to Tiffany, this day would have
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: been like so much better. See I told you, yeah,
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: But I like to be I like intimate, close relationships.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: I don't need a lot of them to be fair,
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: and sometimes I love being around people and other times
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: I absolutely need to withdraw and just be alone. I do.
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: I do enjoy that quite a bit.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: I enjoy both Bobby as someone who's traveled a lot
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: and relocated. And I asked this because I've got a
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: friend who has done that a lot, and she talks
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: about this, which was interesting.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: It surprised me.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: Do you are you intentional and deliberate about establishing that
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: level of intimate relationship with new friends in your new spaces.
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: When it comes to work, Yes, I think work relationships
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: are something I try to cultivate, and it's meaningful to
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: me because they become Yes, close work relationships do help
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: the culture and performance, but they're more than that to me.
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: I think some of my closer relationships have been connected
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: to work, But the short answer is no. Outside of that,
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: I do not have an intention to go out and
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: formulate relationships. And what's really interesting is it depends on
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: the area. I've moved to areas where I have felt
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: and they've been amazing. They're like, oh, I can't believe
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: you live there. That's so fantastic. I'm like, I don't
• 30:47
  Speaker 5: connect with anyone here, and I've moved to other places
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: where just there's almost a hard thing to discern where
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: I end and the environment begins. That's how much in
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: sync I felt with the environment. And I'm able to
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: make friends quite easily, you know, like London it was
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: a place like that. Singapore was a place like that.
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: You know, San Francisco back in the day. Although I
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: never lived in San Francisco, it just I made friends instantly,
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: where other places it was just very, very difficult. So
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of that. If there's such a
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: thing as this energetic resonance between you other people and
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: a place, I feel like there is as kind of
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: like a description. I don't know if that's literally what
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: it is, but it is environment dependent for me.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: What do you think Mike's for great connection? Is it about?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Is it some kind of or illogical energy where there's
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: just something about being around that person talking about sexual
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: necessarily or even physiological, but something. Is it about having
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: things in common? Is it about building trust and respect
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: and love over time? What do you guys think?
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: I think it's the first and the second. For me,
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: it's not about having things in common. It's not about
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: oh my god, well you know, where'd you go to school? Like, oh,
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: what kind of sport do you like? I like that too,
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I like you. I don't care. I really
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: don't care. There's a lot of just natural again, energetic resonance.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: I do like banter. I like people with a certain worldview,
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: a certain perspective, because otherwise banter breaks down very quickly.
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: It could be it can the wrong way in the
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: wrong environment. What's it, futiff?
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: I think like, obviously I love humor, I love fun
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: and funny. But I think that people who are both
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: curious and understanding of people who want to understand you,
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: and you want to understand them.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: You want to learn about them. So people who listen
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: people who ask people who care.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I reckon some people are for me. So you're not
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: an ambivert, you're a sociopath, fu an ambivert. An ambivert
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: everyone as somebody who kind of alternates between extrovert and
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: introvert or can can you know is good when they're
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: out in public but then needs their own time to
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: kind of decompress and chill out.
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: You can easily go both ways. It's fine.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly do you think you so what do
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: you think you are? Do you actually think you're an ambivert, Bobby,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: or do you think you're more extrovert or more introvert
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: or you're kind of banging the metal bang in the middle.
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: I'm not only both. I require both to have either fulfilling.
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: I need to withdraw, I need my private space, or
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: else I cannot interact with people on a social level,
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: even at work. It's just overwhelming. But if I don't
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: go out and do that for whatever reason, I don't
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: find my alone time to be as meaningful. Going on
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: the road was a perfect example. I just love being
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: all alone in my hotel, away from the world, focusing
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: on whatever I'm focusing on work, other and then just
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: going out and just being immersed at a conference around
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: a ton of people.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I like it when I'm doing a conference
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: and you know, when you're there for a day or
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: two and you've got to be in this social slash
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: professional environment and you've got to be up and about
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: and you've got to be switched on and tuned in
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: and interested and interesting and all of that stuff. You know,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: very very high functioning in that moment. And then you
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: leave that and then you go up to the twelfth
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: floor and line your bed in your jocks for an
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: hour and go, oh fuck, Like I just I like
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: that contrast between in the middle of the mayhem and
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: now in a silent room by myself, Like it's almost
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: like that replenishes me.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: And then I go it's five to one. I've got
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: to go back down.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: And then you switch it on and do it again,
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: because that's the person you need to be for that.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: You know that role.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: You're not disingenuous, But you can't walk in in your
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: jocks and go hi everyone, I'm fuck So this won't
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: be very good. Yeah, just take in a milkshake, put
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: your feet up on a fitball, line a bean bag
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: in your jocks and just go, look, I know this
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: is inappropriate, but the content will be fucking great, So
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: just tune in.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know i'd be keen to listen to that.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I'd find that amusing greed intro.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, actually Richard Boyd has done that intro a couple
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: of times. Here's the signature.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I've done over on when we do weekends like you
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: came and did one of our weekends at Mount Eliza
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Bobby a little while back, and I've done quite a
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: few lectures, workshops, presentations in bare feet and shorts. I
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: kind of like that because I feel like that's when
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I'm most relaxed, you know, is shoeless me tif do
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: you reckon you're an extro? Intro or amby that?
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Probably a bit of everything else.
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: Just trying to think as you were talking about it, like,
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: I think that we we mis label or we we
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: have a relationship with those words that doesn't really take
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: into account that maybe they're true.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Meaning.
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: So we look at people who are good in public,
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: good have confidence or perform well in that state, or
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: enjoy themselves, and we go they're an extrovert.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: But then we talk.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: About whether it gives or takes energy. So I absolutely
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: get energy from being out. And if I don't immerse
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: myself in around people and I that'll, yeah, that'll fill
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: my batteries up, but also it will zap me.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: It'll do both of those things at once.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: That is a really interesting idea, the energy and energy
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: out kind of paradigm.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: Of you know, you sit with some people and.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: You feel more energized when you leave because that's the
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: effect they have on you, and then other people you
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: go and you want to crawl home and just drop
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: in bed for an hour because you just feel like
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: you've been emotionally fucked thirty two times. You know.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, it's like, oh my god.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: You know when in some things I'm not being rude,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: but like some conversations and some people, God bless them,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: it's hard. It's that's not to say we don't love
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: them or care about them. And I'm sure there are
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: times being around me, depending on what state I'm in
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: or what's going on, where I am hard work, and
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there are other times where I'm good to
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: be around energetically. But what are your thoughts, Robert.
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: I'm definitely the ladder. I know I'm hard work to
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: be there. I'm great and short bursts if you can
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: get me in a good mood and just I've had
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: my coffee and there's there's a time limit. I think
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: I could be a lot of fun. But on an
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: ongoing basis, oh my goodness, I'm like an energy vampire.
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: I am a ton of work to deal with. I'm
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: not an energy vampire because taking energy from other people
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: does not energize me at all. I just know I'm
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: a lot.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I'm hard to deal with. Yeah, yeah, you've spoken about
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: the fact that, or we've spoken a bit that you're
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: an overthinker and there's anxiety and worry and all that stuff.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Is that is that been mitigated to any extent over
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: the last few years. Is like that diminishing or is
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: that a constant? Or can we turn down the volume
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: on that? Now?
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: I think I'm on an upswing. Actually, I think I'm
• 39:20
  Speaker 5: getting worse. I was, I was getting better, I was
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: getting better with it, and then yeah, I just it
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: just got worse. I don't know if that's I go
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: in and out of remission with Touretts, so I don't
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: know if that's a Tourette's thing. I don't know. I
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: don't know what it is, but yeah, sometimes I'm better
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: for years.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: Can you explain to people like you in the middle
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: of an upswing?
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: For one of the more accurate term of turets, like
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: what's what's happening? Like what would people see or experience
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: if they were around you at that time?
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: It's complete panic over the smallest things, like I didn't
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: pick up a package when I was supposed to, And
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: what if I really need that package? What if something
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: goes wrong related to that package. What if I literally
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: did leave the stove on and I end up killing everybody,
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: like there's an explosion, or what if I was supposed
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: to do this thing like Okay, this is a work
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: thing I shouldn't really be talking about, and but I
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: did it. So in preparation for a seminole that I'm
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: giving next week, I had sent all the notes, I
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: sent everything, they made a PDF. They made a handout
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: from it, and because we're going to be outside so
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: the events outside, I'm not using a power point and
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: everybody gets a PDF with all the main points that
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: I'm going to talk about because they wanted to take away.
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: And then I was like, oh, what if I put
• 41:01
  Speaker 5: together a power point just for myself, so I kind
• 41:05
  Speaker 5: of know, Okay, I'm a little bit more familiar with
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: There'll be five slides go over this, and I make
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: sure that the PowerPoint relates to the handout that I gave.
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: I think in slides because it's frames more than to
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: see a knowledge. So then I created the PowerPoint. I'm like, well,
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: what if they want this? So I sent it out
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: and they're like, oh, well, you know RI has already
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: created a QR code from the handout that you had
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: given us, but let me see if they can update it.
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: And I was like, oh my god, what if now
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: they have to update it and they have to go
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: through twenty different people to update it. I've just caused
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: such a disturbance for people I'm supposed to be helping.
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: What if this adds to their stress? Now what if
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: something goes wrong? Oh my god, I've misrepresented my company.
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: Now mind you, I didn't miss the deadline. I got
• 41:58
  Speaker 5: everything in on time. I just sent them a different version.
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: I did extra work and gave it to them just
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: in case do whatever you want with it. That spiraled
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: me into oh my goodness, what if this person who's
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: the point of contact, What if she looks bad? What
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: if this puts her about? And it was all this obsessive,
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: compulsive things where I just sat there at my desk
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: sweating for like ten fifteen minutes, running through all of
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: the worst case scenarios ending up with all of us
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: losing our jobs and just being out on the street
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: and not being able to provide for our family, just
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: because I was so selfish enough to create an extra
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: power point when no one asked for it and send it.
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: And that's just the spiral, and like what if I've
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: done this? And while I'm thinking about this, I left
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: the stove on and just everybody like within you know,
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: like a twenty meter radius of me.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: Dice, Yeah, yeah, no, that's busy. That's a busy hit.
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: That's my world. Today's life is like inside my head.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: And is the way that your turets expresses itself that
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: kind of you know, waves of I sayd driven anxiety driven,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: catastrophe driven thinking.
• 43:16
  Speaker 5: Is that?
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Is that what it is for you? Because most people
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: think of ticks or swearing.
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: Or you know, Tourette's is lack of a lack of
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: control over impulsivity, not just motor tics, vocal tics, but behaviors.
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: It's rumination, it's obsessive compulsive disorder ADHD. There's all of
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: these things. So Tourette's is connected medically to autism. It's classification,
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: I believe, or at one time it was, and there's
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: a lot of different things that come with it. So
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: you combine just my makeup, the way I'm wired, my history,
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: and I do tend to catastrophize and minute quite a bit.
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: And what's interesting, Jeffrey Schwartz said this. So Paul Taylor
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: gave me a book about obsessive compulsive behavior by author
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: Jeffrey Schwartz, who's brilliant, and he said, well, people experience.
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: It's such a great analogy. I said, this is how
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: I feel. They know that what they're thinking about is
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: not rooted in reality, and none of this is probably
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: going to happen. But it's almost like someone has a
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: remote control that takes over your brain. And even though
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: I know what I'm thinking is absurd and I would
• 44:32
  Speaker 5: never respond to someone like this, and no reasonable person
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: would respond to what I've Someone's taken over my brain
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: with a remote control, and I just feel completely overwhelmed.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: So can you see, It's like you know, your nervous
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: system gets hijacked and you you can be sitting there
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: in the middle of anxiety and all of those the
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: physiological consequences of that knowing that there's no need to
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: be anxious, Is that true?
• 45:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah? I mean all sometimes I think, oh, this is
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: this is completely rational that you know, I cannot find
• 45:08
  Speaker 5: my keys at two o'clock in the morning, so you know,
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: I probably I probably won't be able to go out
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: like for the rest of my life and or something
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: like that, or my wife's going to have to deal
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: with this. So sometimes I don't know. But a lot
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: of times I know that this is just this is
• 45:25
  Speaker 5: just not rooted in reality. Yet the impact is exactly
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: the same for me.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Do you think if that anxiety is the percentage of
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: people that are anxious, the prevalence of it, broadly speaking,
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: is greater than.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: When you and I were kids.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: There's quite a few years apart, but like in the
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: say that eighties when you were a kid, or nineties,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: or is it just more awareness now or more focus
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: and attention or maybe something else.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I think both.
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: I think we win now live in an overstimulated world
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: where our nervous system and our minds don't get a
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: break from processing, and we're confronted with information that without
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: using our minds to harness and understand it in a
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: way that serves us. Is like adopting naughty puppies ten
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: naughty puppies and letting them live in your house and
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: not train them. It's like, while having a dog's really good,
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: but having a dog you can't control is not good
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: at all.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: So I think it's I think it's a little a
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: bit of both.
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: And I always think about the idea that choice is
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: harder than adversity, and in this case, you go, well,
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: it could be this, it could be that, And so
• 46:46
  Speaker 4: we get to catastrophize based on things we see and
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: we go, oh, it's this, this is wrong with me,
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: and then we have a label and we have to
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: choose what to do about it.
• 46:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel it's like almost sometimes pouring fuel on
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: an emotional or a psychological fire, you know, it's like,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: let's just top it up, let's just keep you know,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: the volume.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: Just it is hard.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Though in the either of you had a panic attack,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: like a full blown I'm sure you have, Bobby. I've
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: had one in my life, and it was because I'm
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: not that, you know, when you go, I'm not the
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: panic attack person like other people do that. I had
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: one when I was I've only had one, and I
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: was probably thirty. Remember sitting on my couch at home
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: and I wasn't particularly worried about anything consciously, but clearly
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: I was subconsciously and I measured my heart rate on
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: the couch. It was one hundred and eighty, so three
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: beats per second. And you know, then that makes you
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: worse because you're like, well, i'll definitely die now because
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: nobody like I was just generally worried. Now I'm you know,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: because I'm I'm like, oh, well fuck, that's not consistent
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: with life. I'm not way do I move. It's going
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: to be three hundred fuck fuck. And then you worry
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: about the worry, and then your anxiety about the anxiety
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: makes it an internal shit fest. And even though and
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I was so confused, you know. Anyway, I went to
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: hospital and they told me to stop drinking coffee. And
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: that wasn't like this was fifty hour whatever, it was,
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: forty years, thirty years ago. I'm like, I don't think
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: that's the issue, guys. But anyway, it's like yeah, stop
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: drinking coffee. I'm like, what about all the underlying bullshit
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: that made me do that? Like, what's that about? So
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: let's hope that doesn't come back anytime soon. Bobby, what's
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: on for the rest of the week for you? Are
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: you busy at work? Are you traveling? Apart from letting
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: down your friends tonight by not going ll today, by
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: not going to this thing?
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: I feel I feel horrible, Probably gonna ruminate about this
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: all night right now. So I only travel in California
• 49:08
  Speaker 5: for all of my events. All my speaking is fairly
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: local compared to what it used to be. Aside from
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: the independent event that comes up every once in a
• 49:17
  Speaker 5: while and then get on a plane and do that.
• 49:22
  Speaker 5: I have so much design and creation type of work.
• 49:28
  Speaker 5: So right now I'm working on a coaching based leadership
• 49:35
  Speaker 5: portion and member portion. So just around experiences, Well, we'll
• 49:40
  Speaker 5: talk about it as much as I can talk about
• 49:43
  Speaker 5: on the show. So what is the experience that we
• 49:46
  Speaker 5: create for members and clients? And how do we generate
• 49:51
  Speaker 5: clear expectations and definitions about what that means and what's
• 49:56
  Speaker 5: the metrics for what that looks like? And the skills
• 50:00
  Speaker 5: and behaviors that allow us to generate those types of moments.
• 50:06
  Speaker 5: And I'm writing about seven different presentations for different groups
• 50:11
  Speaker 5: right now, So that's a lot of stuff. But I'm
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: coming off of my exam. So I passed my exam recently.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Congrats, congrats.
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: I'm not having to do that. And the move is
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: for the most part over, so I'm not like moving
• 50:25
  Speaker 5: from one city to the next. I am so relieved.
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when you say I passed an exam, I feel
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: like that's not really much of an achievement because I
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: feel like you're a genius. I think that's analogous to
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: me going, hey, put my shoes on.
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: This. This is like for the most part, I gotta
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: be honest because I guess they took an exam for work. Yeah,
• 50:52
  Speaker 5: and it's not something that normally would be in our wheelhouse.
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: But I just love it. I love doing exams. I
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: love like the scenario they give where they act it
• 51:02
  Speaker 5: out and then you have to read through the documents
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: and then you have to like pass. I like that stuff,
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: but I do not do well with moving house. It
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: is so disruptive. As long as long as I have
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: a home base, even if I'm not there for six
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: months and I'm someplace else, which just happened quite a bit,
• 51:23
  Speaker 5: and I'm bouncing from city to city. I'm fine as
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: long as that home base. But if I'm moving that
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: home base, I'm a mess. And to do work and
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: to prepare for a hard exam, let's be fair, in
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: the middle of that, it just creates havoc on my psyche.
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: It's just not a good place for me. So I'm
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: so happy that those two things are done.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, I don't think it bothers me,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: but I never fucking moved, so how would I know?
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: But I didn't sport.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I moved mom and dad a few
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: months and that was very traumatic. Six year olds do
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: not like moving, understandably, Tiff you, I'm glad you asked.
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: I have a very important meeting in two minutes time,
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: so I'll be doing.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: That in a moment.
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: I am preparing for a big day tomorrow with my
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: dog O going under a general anesthetic. As you know,
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: at six years old, the same age that I lost
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: my last.
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: Dog under a general anesthetic. So everybody prayer to the baby.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: Jesus, Sweet baby Jesus.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: We've all been good. Sweet baby Jesus. Please look after
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: my little pooch.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: All right, let's go. The self help antidote is not
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: really in production, but it'll be back Bobbycapuccio dot com
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: and you can find him on LinkedIn and in most.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: Sleazy bars over the weekend in his local area.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Tiffany and Cook will be on her knees in front
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: of some kind of religious statue for the rest of
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: the afternoon, and of course roll with the punches. Thanks kids,
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: we'll say goodbye affair, but thanks, Thanks Bobby. Thanks