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How to Keep Students Coming Back to Your Youth Ministry EVERY WEEK! · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Why do students initially come to your youth group and then why do they stay?
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: These are the questions we're going to be answering on today's episode.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we give you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast-track the growth and health of your youth ministry.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen Laskola and today we're going to talk about okay, students are coming Great.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: They're there, here they are, they make it.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: But how can we get them to stay?
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: or why are the ones who are staying staying?
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if you've ever heard this, but like when people say, why are things working, why are you successful, why are things growing, and a lot of times people don't know the reason.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I was that way for a long time.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Our youth ministry started growing and people would ask like, wow, how'd you grow your youth ministry?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like I don't know what 800 things I did was the right thing.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: You know, I tried a lot of things.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I did a lot of things.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I just kept going, and so today we're going to talk about things that I've learned, that are things that keep students plugged in, and I can't take credit for all this content.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: It was actually part of a meeting I was in last week with an incredible former youth pastor named Travis Seibert and he was talking about this idea of like why do students come and why do students stay, and I was writing some notes and I was like, yeah, like this is like gold and I thought our listeners would probably like to get a glimpse of maybe what we were talking about at our meeting this week and I found it super helpful and it was something that I was like I could see, you know, first year, second year, third year, youth pastor me being like.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: What about fourth year?
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: You didn't say anything about fourth year.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: By fourth year I was a professional.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't need any help, just kidding, I just got sick of naming numbers.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So that's why Fourth year.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Fifth, year sixth year.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, there you go.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Dot dot, dot.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, infinity symbol, because I will do this forever, okay.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So I guess the first question is why are students coming to your youth group?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Now listen to the way that question is phrased.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: It's not why should people come?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: There's no should.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Just why do they come?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: What gets a let's just go median age?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: What gets a 12 or 13 year old in the door?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: And so we started listing things that we thought were real answers, warning none of these sound churchy or spiritual, because what 12 year old is?
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Ok?
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: There's a few.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: What percentage of 12 year olds is sitting home on a Wednesday night going where could I find really meaningful life worship right now.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: That's not true.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: My youth group is full of students that say that every week.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: You're so lucky Now they will eventually say that and we're getting to that, but I'm talking about what gets them in the door.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: So is a student Googling like churches in my area with meaningful live worship or churches in my area that have age relevant topics sermon?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: discussions, and what do their Yelp reviews say about them?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like that is probably not what is getting them in the door initially.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: So we have to just be realistic about that and think, okay, what actually does get a 12 or 13 year old up off the couch or make sure they finish their homework in time?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Begging their parents to take them out on a school night, drive them, pick them up, drop them off carpool, whatever they're doing, what gives them the motivation?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Like, I got to be there.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: And so here's some answers.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: We came up with Friends Duh.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: They want to be where their friends are Fun.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Of course they want to.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Students, junior hires especially want to have fun.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: If they're going to like, put down fortnight or Mario cart and actually go to your building to do something, it's got to be more fun than Minecraft, right?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Campus ministry was put out there as a reason because kids have met a youth pastor at a campus and they've made a connection and they've gotten a personal invitation to a youth group.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: So campus ministry is a big thing.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I said parents talking.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I think that parents are always looking for high recommendation kid activities in their community.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I know I am.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I'm very likely to sign my kid up for something because someone I trust said oh my gosh, we tried this camp last year and it was so cool.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Like I'll send you the link Then me just like cold, like Google search showing up at some church we have no connection with.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: So parents talking gets people in the door.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Food definitely, like I have kids that I know only come for the treats and the hot chocolate and donuts and whatnot.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I mean this one is kind of spiritual but I would say changed lives, like they've seen a change in their friends and they're like what's going on with you and it's like hey, you should just come, just come and see.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: You know we've talked about that line with kids before.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Like come and see.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And then girls or boys, you know like junior hires don't have a lot of opportunity outside of like school to hang out with their crush.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: You know a guy or a girl who they're interested in and if they know their crush is going to be there or that group of boys or those girls, they'll probably try to make sure their parents take them.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: This was a real answer from one of the youth pastors in the room.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: He's a brand new youth pastor and he used to be one of the youth pastors in the room.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: He's a brand new youth pastor and he used to be one of my students in my youth ministry and then he was my intern when he was a little older and now he's a youth pastor at one of our campuses.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You want to know what his answer was Video games.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: He said, kristen, the reason I came to youth group was because you guys had video games.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: And actually he got invited by a friend who was actually a youth pastor also and they were on the same baseball team and he invited him and he liked it.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: But he said he really stayed because of the video games.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, whatever, I don't think that's why you stayed, but that's what got you in the door.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: And so I think having an honest look and saying let's be realistic about what gets a 12 or 13 year old in the door, and we can't over-spiritualize this step, because there's a saying that students often need to belong before they believe.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: So if we're asking a non-Christian to be motivated by deep small group discussions and meaningful live worship and impactful age relevant sermons, I think we've aimed at the wrong target.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Not that we're not like, of course we want to reach Christians as well, but we will have all that stuff.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I don't have to convince a Christian usually to come to church, you know, but somebody who's just kind of getting their feet wet and you know, like what is this thing about?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: And I've heard of Jesus or my friends go to this thing on Tuesdays.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know really what it's about, but I'm interested and I'm willing.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: What can I do to get them in the door Now?
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Do you have something in your youth group, in your church, that is irresistible to the age group you're trying to reach?
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Is there something that is going to draw them in?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Think of your reputation.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Do I have a good reputation outside the church?
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Would parents recommend my youth group to another parent?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Would they be like, oh, we like it, but I can't bring my friends because it's weird, you know?
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Or is it like oh, I think anyone in my neighborhood or baseball team would love this.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: In fact, I'll get a whole carload of kids after school and bring them, which I love when parents do that.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: When students show up, is there enough to capture their interest and attention?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: You know, like we were talking about the food and the fun and opportunities for games and connection and all of that do are we speaking their language?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And we've talked a lot about that on this podcast.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: So then we go a step further and say, all right, if we are good at capturing them, capturing their interest, getting them through the door we're good at capturing them.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I know that didn't sound right.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I was hoping we could just move past that immaturity, that you would know what I meant, you thought wrong.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I should know by now because I work with junior hires.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And you're married to one.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was awkward too.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Strike that from the record.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: This is getting out of hand.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: So why do they stay right?
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Because we can have all the video games and cotton candy in the world, but it's empty calories, right?
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: No pun intended, it's just not.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: It's enough to be like, hey, I'm willing to give this thing a try At least it's not some boring snooze fest that I'm giving up, you know video games for, but it's like, okay, that's not gonna be.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: That's not youth ministry.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: You know, I love Josh Griffin's, his old blog More Than Dodgeball, because it's like, of course we're going to play dodgeball, but what is going to get someone to stay?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It has to be more than that.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: We aren't just recreational leaders or whatever ymca boys and girls club.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: So why do students stay?
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: And then we ask ourselves the questions am I giving them opportunities to see something that really makes them stick around?
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: You know so, for example, I mean, you can't discount the Holy Spirit, right?
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Our senior pastor asked a really good question about 100 times.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: He asks us this all the time.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: He says if the Holy Spirit were to leave your ministry tomorrow, how long would it take you to notice?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: And he goes.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I remember the first time somebody asked me that question and I just was like never, like.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I would never notice.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Because he was like, I was so gift-oriented I could teach.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: You know most pastors in circles and I could like it was my gifting that was keeping this ministry afloat.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: It wasn't the power of the Holy Spirit.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: You know most pastors in circles and I could like it was my gifting that was keeping this ministry afloat.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: It wasn't the power of the Holy Spirit, you know.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: And I think that's a really interesting question and I've never really known how to answer it because I'm like well, the Holy Spirit couldn't leave because the Holy Spirit's present in me.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: So like, so I guess what he's saying maybe is more of like, are we unleashing the power of the Holy Spirit, giving room and opportunity for the Holy Spirit to move in the lives of our kids through prayer and conviction and worship and accountability and repentance?
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Like, are we giving room for the Holy Spirit to speak?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: And that's probably what he meant, holy Spirit to speak, and that's probably what he meant.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: But just, I guess another way to put it or a great question to ask yourselves is in a given week, how much do we pursue or rely on the Holy Spirit to do ministry, or are we like great, turn on the Nintendo switch, turn on the lights, turn on the foggers, get the pizza cue, the music cue dodgeball.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: We've got youth group.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Get the pizza cue, the music cue dodgeball, we've got youth group.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: You know which?
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: I'm for all those things.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: However, it's not enough.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So, in the midst of that, are we also saying, okay, holy Spirit, you've got to show up tonight, and do we bathe our youth ministry in prayer?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Are we praying for our students, their families, their small group leaders?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Are we inviting the Holy Spirit in?
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Are we teaching our students how to call on the Holy Spirit and rely on Jesus, you know?
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Or is it just this very hype event and everyone gets a little Bible and then we go home, which is not enough, you know, and I've seen youth groups like that kind of burn out.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: You know it was like everyone kind of came because it was cool but there was nothing here to keep me, you know.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: So the Holy Spirit.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And then spiritual growth.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: So our students are looking to have us disciple them and go from where they are to where they need to be.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Do they have opportunities to grow spiritually?
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: So that would be through, usually their small group leader really challenging them with.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: You know, small groups that create an atmosphere of maybe vulnerability where we can open up.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Are we diving into the word?
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Or is it all just behavior management in small groups, which I tell you some weeks that's what it feels like.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: It's just like all I did was tell you guys to be quiet, you know, like the entire time and just teach you how to be like civil human beings who raise their hand or don't talk over each other, you know, or whatever.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I'm leading a sixth grade girl small group right now because we're in the middle of promotion and it's like oh my gosh, just this girl's crying because her cat died and you're over here with your side conversation, like.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, like creating room for spiritual growth, and do we have a way to measure that?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: You know, I think that's a really difficult question to answer as a youth pastor, someone in ministry yeah, how the heck do you measure spiritual growth?
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, we can't quantify it completely, but there's some outward signals that we could be looking for Consistency, character change, generosity, students giving of their time, their money doesn't mean a whole lot at this age, so I think it's more their time and their character, like, are you willing to help someone who does not help you?
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: You know, like, well, this sixth grader is brand new and doesn't have a team and you have all your friends over here, Generosity is teaching them.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: hey, you go after that kid and you make sure that they feel loved and included, Because if I just tell junior hires to tithe their money, they're like, oh, it's my parents anyways.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I don't really care, and I've already spent it at the snack shack, so who cares?
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it's not like they're budgeting and their mortgage and oh, this is going to really hurt to give this 10 like.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: So you have to teach them how to be generous with themselves.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: That's how I've found it to be most effective in this age.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Another signal is serving, you know, being willing to be on a serving team or a discipleship team and do the bible studies that go along with that, and ask good questions.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Accountability, like are they willing to be vulnerable and share and allow you or their leaders to pray with them and for them?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Those are all signs that spiritual growth is happening and not that students are going to change overnight.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: But I'd like to see a trajectory of like you're getting it, you know, and the Holy Spirit is forming your character and shaping it as we walk through some of this stuff together.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: So spiritual growth and people will stay if they feel like man.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I can look back at the last six months and see I'm so different now than I was six months ago in terms of my understanding, my relationship with God, my intimacy with the Holy Spirit.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: So stuff like that where we are constantly teaching them.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: And then I think something else that keeps them is just the truth in a world where it was so funny.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Today we were buying bananas or something at the grocery store and our 12 year old daughter saw a national inquire headline and she repeated it to me.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: She goes did you know that?
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm like what?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Where did you see that?
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And she goes it's on that newspaper.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I go oh, that's a national inquire said nothing they say is real.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I at least I don't think so.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, I remember it just being a big fabricated headline grabber.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: It was like clickbait before there was clickbait.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: You know what I?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: mean I don't know how legally they keep getting away with this.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: But she goes wait, what do you mean?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: It's not true.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, I don't know, it's just goofy stuff.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: They try to get you sucked in.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: But it's all just fluff fluff.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: And she was so confused, like how are you allowed to just publish that which I'm?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: I'm still confused.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: So in a world where there's still national inquirer or weird people on YouTube, just uh, oh, where are the weird?
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: People on YouTube.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Uh, just saying whatever you like and subscribe or like social media accounts where
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: people are like just saying their expert opinion on everything you know.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Truth is just so hard to come by.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: So I love being able to tell our students like hey, there's differing opinions on all kinds of things in our world.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of things we can never know.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: The truth on A lot of this stuff is a matter of opinion and doesn't actually even matter.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: However, there is something that will never change, and I'm going to tell you the truth that, no matter what, I know this is true and we can cling to this from now into the rest of our lives.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And it's a truth that is so dynamic that every time you come to church, every time you're in a small group, every time you're worshiping, if you're seeking the Holy Spirit, he's going to keep revealing more and more truth to you.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've been a Christian since I was four years old and I went to a worship night the other night and I was furiously writing, like all this stuff, that I felt like God was telling me.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: It's like we have the truth and that's something that keeps students coming back for more of like what is this world?
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Is it just violent and weird and is everyone just a liar?
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Is nothing real anymore.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: You know, everything you see on social media is AI enhanced or a filter and it's like what's real and that's what we have to offer students giving them truth that changes lives and eternities.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: The world cannot compete with that.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: So make sure you are just.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I always say our youth group is so fun and then I hose you with the truth and I love that dichotomy of like party on Tuesday, woohoo, having a good time, and then that sobering moment of just like hitting them so hard that those gut punch moments of this is the gospel you know Um so, anyways, it's going to be interesting, though, seeing how these newer generations growing up with AI, with internet, social media, all these things, how they perceive truth.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Like I'm just thinking out loud, um, but I feel like if you were, if you were around, if you were on this earth prior to a lot of that stuff, you had a sense of discernment, like figuring out is this real or not, you know, and kind of researching it or whatever where.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: And then, with the advent of the internet and information becoming more available, it helped.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: That, I feel like.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Originally, yeah, and then it got inundated.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Now it got out of hand with yeah, with, this is no longer true, and I feel like even researching, you can't even tell exactly like remember when all those ufos were everywhere, right I still don't know.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know either.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: And how can we just on from that?
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: How can we ever know the truth.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Even if you like, are these real?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: A million articles will come up telling you all kinds of different things.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Where's the authority?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: And that's where we can point them to scripture.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: It's like who is the authority?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I mean these people say the UFOs are real.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: These people don't.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: These people say they're just the military.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: These people say they're hiding something, Right, and it's like who do I trust?
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Where do I like?
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: So I give up my point, or my thought is I wonder if these people will grow up really searching for the truth or if they will just accept a world where nothing is true.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's scary.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: It is scary, and so you would hope that they would, you know, kind of come to the conclusions like, well, there is truth, there is fiction, and then there is fact, and so it's like what is true.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: And so my hope, my prayer, is that these younger, you know generations would, would seek that out totally honestly, but I don't know.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Pointing them in the direction of exactly what you're just saying is like guys, we can know the truth.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I can't know the truth about UFOs and government conspiracies, but I can know the truth about why we're here, what our purpose is, who God is, what his purpose for us is, where we're going, what the future is Like.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: We can know that stuff we aren't just floating through space with like a bunch of conspiracies and then we die.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, there's weird people saying all kinds of stuff, but there is an anchoring truth and they based on what you're saying.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I think we need that now more than ever.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: So you know, people do stay because of fun, like that gets them in the door.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I think you need to be consistently fun.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to spend a lot of time on that, because I feel like I talk about that all the time.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: You guys should know that by now tonight changed lives.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: purpose, looking forward to something these are all reasons people stay.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I love the idea of looking forward to something.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: This is a more of a programmatic element.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: We've been talking about big ideas and spiritual ideas, but this is more of a program element of like we do Tuesdays, fairly similarly every single week, we do our weekend service.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: We follow kind of a formula.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: However, I feel like there's always something cool on the horizon.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: We're pushing and looking forward to like oh, we have a beach day coming up, or we have our whitewater rafting trip coming up.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: We do something in the summer called super chaos where, since the kids are out of school, we push it back.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: uh, we go an extra hour for a youth group.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: So instead of ending at 8 30, we end at 9 30 and we play a bunch of extra games and get cotton candy or root beer floats, whatever.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: So we're all the all-overnighter the battle.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: We're always kind of timing these things so we're not in this rut that there's something cool to continually look forward to.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: And I don't know about you, but that's almost like a mental saving grace for me.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: My friends and I talk about this a lot like with the monotony of so we'll put it in context of a student, with the monotony of school sports game, church homework, chores, school sports.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: It's just this like such a predictable pattern and I, my friends and I always talk about we need something to look forward to Like.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I'm going about my normal daily routine week dishes, dinner, homework, this but then I know Thursday I'm going on a bike ride and going to a really yummy restaurant and I'm going to get a matcha and I'm so excited, you know, like there's going to be something on the horizon that kind of gets me like yeah, our program is cool every single week.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: But here's also what, together, collectively, we are looking forward to this and you want to be a part of it, because that's a bonding experience and those relationships are what keep people so well, you'd hope your midweek program or your Sunday morning program would be something to look forward to in and of itself, right?
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Absolutely it should be, I agree with that.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: And then you know they're small groups, so let's kind of camp on here now for the rest of our time, because you know all those reasons that students come that we were talking about before and all the reasons students stay, those are absolutely powerless without a team of leaders.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I would say youth groups grow because they have a dynamic, present, consistent group of leaders.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I think a youth pastor is in the worst place possible for their ministry as a whole and for them ministry like personally, like their own spiritual, mental leadership health, when they're doing it by themselves.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: There is literally I can say this very confidently no way to grow without leaders.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: So what does that mean for you as a youth pastor is?
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: You know Travis was talking about this at our meeting.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: He was saying that might very much challenge how you schedule your time this week.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: So if you have no leaders and you are doing ministry all by yourself, you might as well have a timer over your head counting down, because you will quit, you will burn out and the ministry will not grow.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: So I feel like, before the ministry goes kaput, you will go kaput.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: You knowut.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Does everyone know what kaput means?
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: If not, ask AI, as I was saying before.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: The internet you could look up kaput and they would tell you.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: But now, I mean, anyone can say anything.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: So who knows if we'll ever get to the bottom of that.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: So for your time management, you have got to drop everything and go get a leadership team around you at least one other person, a running mate, a couple lead, I mean, whatever it is.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: You cannot do this alone.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: And how you spend your week, then, if you do have those leaders, should be you now duplicating yourself in the leaders around you, because your reach is so limited, your energy is so finite.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: But if you had like, if you could push, multiply, like you multiplied by 10 and you had, well, now, 11 of you yeah, 11 of you running around.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Imagine the breadth of ministry that you have now.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Hey, friend, I just wanted to interrupt this episode for a second to let you know about an awesome opportunity for you and your youth ministry.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: So last year we launched our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator and the response has been amazing.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: So we've helped tons of youth pastors grow the size and health of their youth ministry and we want to invite you to be a part of that as well, because maybe you're just sort of feeling stuck in a rut, maybe you don't know what to do next?
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe you just have a vague plan in your mind of what you're doing and you want some real help to get you from where you are to where you want to go.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: So if that sounds like something you've been looking for, go to growyouryouthministrycom and check it out for more details.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: All right, let's get back to the episode.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: You want to create a leadership team, and they don't have to be like clones of you, but they need to think like you about ministry, and then they do it their own way if that makes sense.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: So, for example we love examples, right?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: I had a parent orientation meeting about four weeks ago and, as always, very low, showing Not a lot of parents, but the ones who came were delightful.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: To pause for a second.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's kind of a good thing in a sense.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: I think parents are like we trust you, we know it's good, we're going to send our kids, we don't need to get the shmule Good, Jeffiel.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I like that perspective.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: That is so helpful because they're all showing up.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: They might be going.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Who are you?
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: What is this?
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: What's going on?
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I had a handful of parents come and so after the meeting, you know, I was trying to answer some questions because you know we have a camp coming up and I had some parents you know well, it's really far away and blah, blah, blah, and we were chit chatting and I was giving them flyers, while there was another mom who had come in for the first time and she was up in the lobby and I didn't get to her in time and I panicked and I was like oh, no, like ah, and she had brought a friend.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: And then, like now it's like these two moms kind of like what's going on?
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: Like who do we talk to?
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: And my worship leader, hannah, intercepts these two moms.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: This is not her job, necessarily, but she knew the value of what, how we feel about parents and reaching out in ministry and all of that, and reaching out in ministry and all of that, and she introduced herself and helped them get situated, answered their questions.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: She went up to them.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: They weren't like, excuse me, who's in charge here?
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: She intercepted them with a smile and was like hi, I'm Hannah.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Like you know, is this your first night.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, what are your kids names, you know, and got them all registered ready to go, and it was so beautiful.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I was so thankful for her and actually it meant so much.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: One of the moms texted me at the end of the night and she said wow, we were able to meet Hannah tonight.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: She was so friendly, so kind.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: You have such a great team, you're.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: You're such a good leader.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Like I got all this credit for Hannah.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: You know, being so like she was like my duplicate, like where I couldn't be.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: She filled in the gap and that's just.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: I mean I have another leader, heidi, who does that all the time.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: I see her walking around with new parents and showing them all over the place.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: And our security guy, even JP, he'll go and like, hey, like, can I help you?
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Or oh, yeah, this is where we meet and here's how pickup works.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And so what you want is that proximity to you, that vision, sharing with you, and that usually comes bottom line Again, ministry, one-on-one comes down to your relationship with your leaders.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: It's very, very rarely let's have a meeting about how to welcome parents.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: You know a lot of it is just this constant proximity to you.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: They see you, they watch you, the conversations that you're having, and it doesn't mean you can't have a meeting about it.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: You know I have a meeting before youth group every Tuesday night for just a quick 15 minutes and you could just drip and stuff like that, like hey guys, we're expecting a lot of new families tonight.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Like, be on the lookout.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Like if you see a parent that looks confused, don't wait for them to come to you, just approach them right away and you can radio me or come find me if you can't answer their questions.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: But please right in front of it.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know the answer to that, kristin please go.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: No, they go.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Hey, kristin, I have a parent here who wants to talk to you.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: We're up in the lobby and I'm like, oh yep, I'll be right there, but most of the time they can do it on their own.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Usually when they call me, it's because the parent has an issue with something.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Let me speak to your manager, yeah.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Not with us but, like you know, there's all kinds of stuff.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: You guys know that.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, it's like this.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: We can only grow like our.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Our potential growth is seriously so wrapped up in this team of leaders.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Your reach and your energy is so finite, but when you can pour that in and multiply that by 10, 15, 20, 25, every ministry is better with more leaders and it's your job as the leader to make sure they know how to carry out your vision of ministry.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Again, not that it's like you play this recording of me saying hello, welcome to our ministry, like it doesn't they don't have to parrot you but it's like a shared vision that you're teaching them over and over and over again and celebrating those wins with them of like.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: That was incredible.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for making these parents feel welcome and that is how we grow Like.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I mean honestly that I don't think that there's any other way.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: When students come in the door, why are they staying?
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Because they were known, they were loved, they were cared for by a leader and if you only have four kids, that still doesn't mean you don't need help and another leader and another presence and a running mate.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: The worst position in ministry is alone.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: That is the worst.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Well, I guess the worst position would be you have a running mate and they're bad news.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: But, I mean, let's just assume that they are, you know good, and I mean I can't think of another top priority like other than get the team around you if you want to reach these kids.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: You know, and sometimes leaders just hold leadership like they're like well, I can do it, you know.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: It's like of course you can.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: But remember we were talking last week there's a big difference between can and should.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like that is the most important part of my job other than preaching the gospel to students is making sure I have a lot of leaders so that message can get out in a variety of ways through the context of a relationship.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: So that is why people day Great, great podcast episode.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Good job.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: Thanks for being here, great on the heels of the episode we did last week, which is how to retain your volunteers because you wanted to retain students.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: You also want to retain volunteers.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: We actually also did a episode about how to duplicate yourself, which goes right in line with what you're talking about.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Do you wish there were two of me?
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Would that be so much fun.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: A lot to handle, let me tell you.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: So make sure you check out those episodes.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: We'll link them in the description below, and right now we're going to do a community comment of the day.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: This comes from Tom Collins, who says Isn't that a famous name?
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Sure Tom Collins A famous person listens to our podcast.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: Woo, a famous person, listens to our podcast.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: We tom writes.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: I have been helping with our youth group at our church and your ideas and advice have almost doubled our attendance.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: On wednesdays I came here to let you know.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: For some reason, apple podcast app will not play your podcast I wanted to have you playing while I'm working, but it won't play on the app.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you for everything you share.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: Update.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: Tom wrote back and said it was the VPN issue.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: All is well.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, we did it guys.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Tom.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: See how we created a cliffhanging moment, and then we solved it just like that.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Tom solved it, Tom.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Tom Appreciate that.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: We thank you guys for watching and listening and we'll see you next time.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Why do students come to your?
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Why do?
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Why do students come to your youth ministry?
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Why do students come to your youth ministry initially?
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Why do students initially come to your youth ministry and why do they stay?
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: These are questions that we're answering on today's episode.