Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are Mid-Career and Stuck
Transcript
- Lucas: You've been in your field for twelve years. You are competent, respected, maybe even a go-to person. But when you look at the next rung on the ladder, it feels less like a promotion and more like a trap door into more politics and less hands-on work. Luna: That is a really specific kind of stuck. And it's not the 'I don't know what I want to do' stuck. It's the 'I know what I don't want, but I don't see a path out' stuck. Lucas: Exactly. And the standard advice — 'go find a mentor' — often falls flat at this stage. Because the people above you are already in that political, managerial zone you're trying to avoid. They can't show you a path they never took. Luna: So what do you do instead? Because I think a lot of listeners are nodding along right now. Lucas: There is a counterintuitive move that executive coach Marcia Reynolds talks about. She calls it 'reverse mentoring' — but not the way it's usually framed. A lot of companies say 'pair a senior leader with a Gen Z employee to learn TikTok.' That's not what I mean. Luna: Right, that's more about digital literacy. What is the actual play? Lucas: The play is: you mentor someone who is in a completely different function or industry — ideally someone who is early in their career and hungry. And in the process of teaching them your craft, you force yourself to articulate what you actually know and value. That clarity becomes the foundation for your next move. Luna: So the mentor becomes the mentee, in a way? Or at least the act of teaching reveals your own blind spots. Lucas: Exactly. Let me give you a concrete example. I was talking to a project manager at a large manufacturing company — let's call her Sarah. She had been in project management for eleven years. She was great at it. But she felt like she was just moving furniture around on a spreadsheet. She wanted to move into product strategy. Luna: Classic mid-career pivot. She has transferable skills but no portfolio in the new area. Lucas: Right. So instead of asking a product VP for mentorship — which would have been a cold ask and probably rejected — she offered to mentor a junior associate in the product marketing team. She spent an hour a week helping him structure his projects and think about stakeholder communication. Luna: And what did she get out of it? Lucas: Two things. First, she learned the product team's language, their tools, their pain points. Second — and this is the key — the associate started inviting her to product review meetings as 'my mentor from PM.' She got exposure without having to ask for a favor. Luna: She reverse-engineered an introduction. That's smart. Lucas: Within six months, she had built enough context and relationships that she applied for a product manager role internally — and got it. Her mentor relationship with the associate was a legitimate reason for the product team to see her capabilities. Luna: And she never had to say 'please mentor me' to someone who might have said no. She created a situation where mentoring someone else opened doors. Lucas: That's the structure. And I think this points to a deeper truth about mid-career mentoring. At this stage, the traditional one-way model — 'I'm the learner, you're the expert' — can feel disempowering. You have a lot to offer. You just need the right frame. Luna: Which brings up the mentor versus sponsor distinction. A mentor gives advice. A sponsor uses their political capital to open doors for you. At mid-career, you probably need a sponsor more than a mentor. But how do you get a sponsor without asking for one? Lucas: You make yourself indispensable to someone who has influence. One way to do that is to become a mentor to someone they care about. If a senior leader has a protégé who is struggling with a specific skill, and you offer to help that protégé, you've just created a relationship with the leader. Luna: So it's almost like a triangular relationship. Lucas: Exactly. And there's data on this. A 2023 study from the Journal of Vocational Behavior found that mid-career professionals who engaged in lateral mentoring — mentoring peers or juniors in adjacent areas — reported higher career satisfaction and more internal mobility than those who only sought upward mentoring. Luna: Because they were building a broader network, not just a single ladder. Lucas: Right. And they were also practicing the skills of coaching and strategic thinking, which are exactly the skills needed for the next level. It's a self-reinforcing loop. Luna: I want to push back a little, though. Isn't this just a nice way of saying 'if you're stuck, do more work for free'? Because mentoring someone takes time. And if you're already stretched thin, that's a real ask. Lucas: Fair point. But I'd argue that the time investment is actually smaller than traditional networking. You're not attending random coffee chats. You're having one focused hour a week with someone who is motivated to learn. And the return — in terms of clarity, relationships, and visibility — is much higher per hour than most networking activities. Luna: Let's talk about how to actually find that person. Because Sarah had a junior associate in her own company. But what if you don't have that? What if you work at a small company or you are a remote worker? Lucas: You can go outside your company. There are platforms like MentorCruise or even LinkedIn. You can offer pro bono mentoring to early-career professionals in a different industry. The key is to pick someone whose trajectory you find interesting — maybe a field you want to move into. Luna: So you're essentially using the mentorship as a research tool. You learn about the industry by helping someone navigate it. Lucas: Exactly. And the best part is, you don't have to pretend to know everything. You can say 'I'm not an expert in your field, but I can help you think about problem-solving and stakeholder management.' That's honest, and it's valuable. Luna: That reminds me of something — and I think this ties into why we do this show ad-free. We deliberately don't run ads on The Career Mentor Podcast. If you want to support that choice, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's how we keep the conversation focused on what actually works, not on selling something. Lucas: Yeah, and we've heard from listeners that it makes a difference. No sponsored segments, no 'before we continue' interruptions. Just the tactics. So if you find value in that, the support is there. Luna: Alright, back to the strategy. So you've identified a potential mentee. How do you approach them without it being awkward? Lucas: You don't say 'I want to mentor you.' That sounds like a power play. Instead, you say something like: 'I've been working in project management for a decade, and I'm trying to get better at explaining what I do. Would you be open to a couple of conversations where I can share some frameworks, and you can give me feedback on whether they're useful?' Luna: That's brilliant. It frames it as a mutual exchange from the start. You're not a guru descending from on high. You're a peer who has something to offer and something to learn. Lucas: Exactly. And that sets the tone for the whole relationship. You're modeling a growth mindset. And in my experience, that kind of humility actually makes the mentee more open to your advice. Luna: One more thing: what about the risk that the mentee might outperform you or make you look bad? Especially if you're in the same company. Lucas: That's a legitimate fear. But in practice, the risk is low. First, if you mentor someone in a different function, you're not competing for the same promotion. Second, even if you are in the same function, being known as a developer of talent is a huge career asset. Leaders love people who build the bench. Luna: So it's actually a visibility play. The senior leaders see you as someone who invests in others. Lucas: Yes. And there's research from Harvard Business Review that shows that managers who develop others are perceived as more promotable than those who only focus on their own results. You're not just building someone else's career — you're building your own reputation. Luna: I want to circle back to the stuck feeling. Because I think a lot of people hear 'go mentor someone' and think 'I don't have the energy.' But maybe the stuckness itself is a signal that you need to shift your focus from consuming to contributing. Lucas: That's a powerful reframe. The thing about mid-career is that you've probably been in learning mode for a long time. You're absorbing, executing, proving yourself. But at some point, the best way to grow is to start giving — not because you're altruistic, but because the act of articulating your knowledge forces you to structure it, test it, and discover gaps. Luna: That is the core insight for this episode. If you feel stuck, don't look up for a mentor. Look laterally or even down. Find someone who needs what you have, and in teaching them, you'll learn what you need next. Lucas: And maybe that's the best career advice I can offer today: the mentor you need might not be above you. They might be the person who needs you right now.