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Bonus: Aunties In Your Business · The Breakfast Club

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and everybody. You know, if you don't lie about that, right,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Obama need to shut up and stuff talk about Barack
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Obama in an early episode because he said she'd be
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: talking too much and she'd be embarrassing her. But anyway, Yeah,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: So Brandon will be joining me for you know, those
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: those segments and also will be you know, producing those
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: out as well. It's just something fun that I think
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be excited about, and I think you guys
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: will too, because y'all be having a lot to say
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: up in the comments when I post these videos on
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: social So we wanted to find a way to engage,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and I think that this is going to be it.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: So getting right on into our episode, y'all know, the
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: holidays are here, and man, I mean, I don't got
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: these worries no more because my me and my me
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and my man. I can't I can't wait because all
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: of my family hasn't met my boyfriend yet as all
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: of your family met Norn.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: We're really new.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: So okay, then y'all are I didn't even know like
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: how to like intro it like, so y'all are officially
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: boyfriend and girlfriend.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: You better say yes? Can you say it with your
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: chest a little bit more? Oh she heard?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, In case she's listening, hey, beautiful, he was patting
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: on his chest, so he was like, you know, very
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: serious about that answer. But yes, you know, in new relationships,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I think it's the excitement of like, yes, my family's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: gonna love you can't wait for them to meet you.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: If you know that you got a good one, okay,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: but if you have no one to bring home and
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: you have everything else happening all year long.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: So the success of career.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: You know, you're a great looking person, all of the
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: things lined up, but you just pop up by yourself.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Family being your business.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And Coco Jones was on Serious XM doing a segment
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: and she talked a little bit about you know what
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: it's like having family in your business because someone wrote
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: into her was trying to get some advice.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Let's take a listen holiday.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: My aunt drills me with the same questions about why
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I'm still single and when I'm going to get married
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: and have kids. No matter how hard I try to
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: change the subject, she keeps pressing me. How can I
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: handle her this year without losing my cool or turning
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: the family gathering into a scene. Oh my god, now
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: that right there is messy girl, and I do have
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: to chuckle just a touch.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Here's what I think.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: I'd actually have been very into nice nasty reads. So
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: I would honestly prep since you know that this happens
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: every year. I would get a couple of pivots and
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: have them ready like on.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: Like my notes app or just in the spirit.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: So when she says something, I'd be like, oh, Auntie,
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: don't you need to worry about that job?
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: He wasn't.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: No, you don't need to worry about uncle because I
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: thought he Oh, I just feel like you.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I thought you had a lot on your hands.
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: Okay, he seems like you got a lot of free
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: time on these days period.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: You know what, I like to walk beside plots.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Hey, you you know what I'm saying, like a nice
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: naughty nice naughty less You know what I'm saying, read
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: like that, because.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Girl, you know what this one we have boundaries.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying this is there's too much
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: therapy on the internet to not have a boundary, to
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: not have some and to not allow yourself to be cornered, and.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I think that's a little much should say all that,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: because I think your aunties is gonna be your aunties.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: They're gonna want to pry, they're gonna act like your
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: second mother's and they're gonna they're from Ghana.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's different over there because you gotta.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Respects, and I respect my olders. I love my olders.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I love my old older aunts and you know all
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: of that. But if you keep pressing me, baby, you
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: poked the bear, You're gonna get.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: What you as for.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's different with women because maybe they're on you
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: a little more and there's more pressure to get married.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: And has anyone ever asked you when are you gonna
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: have kids?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: No? But they like.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Exactly, hold on, how old are you?
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Okay? No, no, no, they asked me what yes, yes, my parents.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: They I feel like they just started asking about like
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: grandkids because they don't have anything, but.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Like how are they at? Like what are saying to you?
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: It's more funny and playful, like oh we need some
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: grandkids or like I mean, before they'd be trying to
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: hook me up with like if I go to church
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: with them as the younger on the church, my son,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: da da dah all this stuff. So it's more like
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: that they want me to.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: Like, how old are you?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I'm thirty thirty okay, so probably from the time about
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I was like eighteen nineteen really because at first I
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: didn't know if I was going to go to college.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I was planning to just stay home and work. I've
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: always been like very like work oriented. Yeah, once I
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: got out of college, I probably old. How old were
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: you and graduated college twenty two twenty two, So imagine
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: being nineteen and you know, the conversation is what are
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: you doing to prepare yourself for your husband so that
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: you can have kids? Literally, like that's the only conversation. Yeah,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I want to go to college.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I want to get myself together. What are you doing
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: to prepare yourself for your husband so you can have kids?
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And it's like, well, damn, can I go to college,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: have an education and get a career figure out myself
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: first before I just.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Well, that's their way like to clap back talking about
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: their divorce and everything they did wrong in life. Maybe
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: they're coming at you because they did have some missteps.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Maybe they waited too long to you know, settle down
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: and it's like I can understand that they want better
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: for you.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I can understand all of that, but I do think
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: there's a level of all of that gets real because
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: here's my thing, and this is how I used to
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: feel when like people people to this day still be
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: like you want kids, and I'd be like, you gonna
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: pay for them? I think I do think a lot
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: of it is in love and people just wanted you
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: to like not wait too late, especially as a woman
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: because of the time clock or whatever. But I also
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: feel like people don't take into account you're not with
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: me on a day to day and most of the
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: women I know and my family, like it's very you
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: know a few one off situations where people are happily
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: married or happily in relationships. Other than that, everyone I know,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: woman wise, has raised their kids by themselves, like I have.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I have a few aunts that have been happily married
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: for some time or like had kids with someone and
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: had to remarry, and like those men have been good
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: men and raised like my cousins and stuff like that.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: But it's not like.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: A common thing where I'm seeing a bunch of like
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: happily married Dolly.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: That's why they wish they had somebody on their ass
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: pressuring the maybe the importance of maybe they see the
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: importance of a two parent household and how much it
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: could have helped them raising their child.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I get it, I do, but I think that you
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: need to allow someone to see that importance themselves, because
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I think when I was having conversations about this at
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: like nineteen twenty twenty one, twenty two, I understood it
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: because I don't come from a two parent household. Right
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: for me at my age now, my understanding of it
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: and also my ability to do what I need to
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: do to be able to be a wife aly to
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: him in is completely different. If I got into a situation,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: then it wouldn't have We would not be together today,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: like I promise you, because I wouldn't have been able
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: to handle everything that life would have thrown my way,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Would have fought.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, because I've always said I don't
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: believe in divorce and all of that, But like I
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: just think things happen for people when they're supposed to me. Personally,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I wasn't ready for a lot of the things that
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: it takes to build a household in a home, not
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: just be with somebody and have a kid and it's
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: two of y'all in a house.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, I want to really build a home.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I want my kid to feel the love that we
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: have for each other, the love we have for them.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: That's so different than just like, oh, we together, we
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: have a kid, we live in this house together. We
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: make it work because we got kids. And I feel
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: like I understand the push point, but sometimes I feel like,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: back up, Auntie Dane, like you're wine kicking in.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I honestly what you're saying, Like because from what
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: you just said and some things you've told you behind
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: the scenes about that situation, and like that was clearly
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: the wrong person to settle down. So that's different.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I would have a kid with him, we would not
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: be together right now, we would still have a kid.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: But exactly so, I think it's more so like what
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: are you doing to attract the right person into your life?
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Exactly?
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I think that's a that's a thing too, like working
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: on yourself to attract, you know, a good person. Sometimes
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: you're not working on yourself. You can attract the wrong
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: person or just settle for anybody who comes your way.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Maybe lack of options.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I think it's always a conversation worth having with like
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: my like my mom, and you know, other women that
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I know have always been very honest with me about
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: you need a partner, right, You need someone in your
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: life that is a partner that is willing to do
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: for you and you know, different things like that.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: But at the same time.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: You can't partner with me if I don't even know
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: what the foundation of the partnership should look like on
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: my end, Like I don't know. At that time, I
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: didn't really understand a lot of like what I needed,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: what I wanted.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Like there was so there's just so much that I
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: that It's.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: So different now today where I'm always grateful, like I'm
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: so glad that I didn't just have kids and just
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: do it because I was in a relationship with somebody
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: like one hundred percent.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: So I get it.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: But I feel Coco, sometimes you need to let somebody know,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: like Yo, your box line kicking in too much, leave
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: me alone.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: That's good. That's not what Coco said.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: It's the same thing.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Not talking about what you gotta worry about your husband
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: doing like bring up her husband te and bring up
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: the divorce. I all though that's a lot. That's a lot.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: That so for that caller that Coco was responding to,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: because it's not Coco. Y'all know my girl Coco, she's good,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: okay her and Donovan Minstrom.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: No, Coco was the one that was saying, she that's
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: how she could be talking to her.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: That's what she would say. She don't need to do
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: that now.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: She good, No, but still like it's a new relationship.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: So they're probably ourpression a girl, you need to lock
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: that down, get that ring a sap and they're engaged.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, but listen, the point is, I don't
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: think I would walk.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Into Christmas with a ring and somebody still want to
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: ask me about when we're getting married, when we having
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: a baby, show me your ring.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Auntie and my aunts are a petty and I still
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: wouldn't do that too. I remember one time Thanksgiving right
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: and my aunt she had come from Ghana. I didn't
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: know she came from Ghana. I wasn't expecting to see her,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: so I went in for a hug and she was like, no,
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: last time I saw you ignored me And they give
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: me a hug and kept the moment she was talking
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: about when I was seven years old and I was
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: playing with toys and I ignored her, I think with
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: toys and she didn't give you a hug, but still
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: like and that's how she is.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: That the household, there's so much love in our family.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: I've always heard.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Family don't do that.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: I've always heard.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: And listen, I love all of our African listeners from
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: you know for New Year's Eve, hit me up if
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: y'all got some things I should be doing talking about
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: seeing But I've always heard it's a little bit different
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: in African household love.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of love.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: You got to heat it up.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's true.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Well, Vault did a report that.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Africans like that.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Both of the report back in October, and the headline
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: of the report is is having a boyfriend embarrassing?
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: Now?
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: This is about your girlfriend's becoming the new boyfriend. Because
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: one thing also I will say to Auntie is now
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: you don went through it. I know Melvin had a
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: family down the street and you got tired of it.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And that's why you by yourself. Don't nobody wants to
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: pop up with another Melvin. Let me take my time
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: because some people I think a big fear right now
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: is with social media and a lot of the things
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: that people are experiencing today. It's like it's very rare
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: to find a person who is genuinely being intentional about
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: being in someone's life. That's another thing, too, so to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: bring someone around your family to do all of that.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Like it's just it's people are weird outside is like not,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy I'm not there anymore, Like i am.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I love it over here.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I love being in the cut tucked away warn and
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: not you know, having to engage in my mean aunt
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: like Brandon.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: But Volpe, says Vogue.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: So Vogue originally reported this and then self dot com
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: picked it up. Self dot com says in twenty twenty five,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: having a boyfriend became embarrassing. According to Vogue, in place,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: friendships are receiving the kind of long term intention once
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: reserved exclusively for romantic partners. Friends are doing things like
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: buying homes together, opening joining bank accounts, throwing platonic wedding ceremonies.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: That's wild, throwing platonic wedding ceremonies so formulize their commitment
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: to each other.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Quote airmarks.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: No one wants to see your cheesy, hard launch or
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: romantic week in Upstate on Instagram anymore but your girls
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: trip by any means. Unsurprisingly, this cultural reckoning has made
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: its way into the celebrity world.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Some of the celebrities they.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Point at our ariana grande instant, your re ros unsettling.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: According to self dot com, close and undeniably bold, bond
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: throughout the w wicked, pressed.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Towards I don't know Cynthia Lesbian, so she might be
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: trying to pull up on Marihanna. But that's another conversation
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: for another day.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I think the sense of the conversation is when you
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: are popping out with somebody, you bringing somebody around your family,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: you want to make sure it's legit, because if you're
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: gonna fight back against the aunties in their box wine,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: it need to be real. Okay, I've been in a
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: situation where I was embarrassed in front of my family
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: by that man, and I told myself I would never
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: go back there again.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: So what is the title of this article? Like, what
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: is the gist of it?
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: That best friends are the new boyfriends. So people are
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: relying and resting their head in the fact that they
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: have a really good best friend and they're doing things
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: that they would do with a very serious boyfriend because
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: they can't find anyone that is serious and intentional.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I understand that. I saw that lesbians have the highest
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: rate of divorce.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Where you see that at culture we do we do
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: sources over here, quot your sores. Let me look it up, Brandon,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: just be making stuff up. Studies across multiple countries indicate
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: that lesbian couples do have a higher rate compared to
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: both gay male couples and heterosexual.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: So the less men in the relationship, the less women
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: in the relationship, the better it would do.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So this is a study called them dot us. Why
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: do lesbians? Why do lesbian couples tend to have higher
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: divorce rates than gay and straight peers.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I'll just be doing shit.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: That's the question that a new finished study sets out
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: to answer, and the results might not be what you expect.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: The study, titled same Sex in Different sex Couples, Divorce Risks,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: the Role of cohabit, cohabitation and Childbearing, was published in
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: the Journal of Marriage and Family on September nineth so.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Prior studies have shown that female and male couples, so
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: lesbian couples and gay male couples have a higher divorce
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: risk than different sex couples.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: This is according to the study with the high divorced
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: risk among female couples, so lesbian couples across countries such
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: as Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and the United States and Canada. Well, look,
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I think it's more about protecting your peace at the
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: end of the day, I think that that is what's
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: most important. Again, I've been in a situation where I
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: was embarrassed by a man when it comes to my
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: family and every single holiday, every single family get together,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: that's all you're thinking about is who got something to say?
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: You can't wait to pull up to say something to.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Somebody, blah blah blah blah, Like it's just too much
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: and you shouldn't be there, should be that animosity should
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: not exist within family about another person. Internally, y'all gonna
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: go through y'all things. And that's why this episode we
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: decided to get some callers on the line. We wanted
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: to get on the line with the low riders, you know,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: on the line with Lonosa and the Latest to hear
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: from some people that may have some animosity towards their
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: family or may not might just be protecting their peace
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: to ask them is it okay to skip out on
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: the holidays? Because honestly, if I was that person that
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: wrote the call cole Jones going back, if I got
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: to tell my aunt that's why you divorce, you old
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: hag and your box wind and seale.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not going back.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you gotta suck it up. Man.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Well, let's get into the callers. Let's see what our
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: caller had to say. Are y'all so introducing a new
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: bonus segment here during the holidays, because you know it'd
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: be a lot going on during the holidays. You got
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: you got a lot of people you meet in a
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: lot of people in and out of the family. You're
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: trying to gauge if you like your cousin, new boyfriend,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: or gnaw or things. Y'all know how that go. So
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: we have people calling in, my Lowriders, our listeners, our
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: community here calling in to talk about some topics that
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I think are important to understand before you walk into
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: anybody's house and taste their maggagees. Yes, right, So on
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: the line, we have one of our low riders who
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: will remain anonymous, and all calls will be anonymous, because
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: y'all know, I protect the source, I protect the things.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: But one of the questions that we are asking the
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: low is is it okay to skip family holidays if
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: you are protecting your peace?
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: So on the line, we have an anonymous caller who
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: has some things to say about this topic.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Call Are you there?
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: I'm here?
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: So what do you think?
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Is it okay to skip family holidays if you're protecting
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: your peace?
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Or grim? Am I gonna be pissed off and you
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: got to show up like what's going on?
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: No?
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, I do think that it's okay to get the
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: holiday or two or three to protect your piece. You know,
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: you go up thinking that some things that are normal,
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: and then grow up become an adult that's not so normal.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: So then after a while, it's like my relational intelligence
• 17:46
  Speaker 5: tells me to stay home and protect my peace and
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: dance in my house or do whatever I need to
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: do on my holidays and enjoy that. That's what I'm
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: gonna do. I think that sometimes we normalize dysfunction, and
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: that's not the space I am in life. So I'm
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: gonna just go ahead and gift that one, and I'll
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: call you on and say Merry Christmas or send that
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: text and go on about my day.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: But what are you doing on the holiday?
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Then?
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Like you don't miss your because dysfunction I think, I mean,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: you're never going to have like a fully functional family
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: because I think everybody's in very different places when it
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: comes to figuring out the function. The fact that they're
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: even dysfunctional. Like I was gonna going to say figuring
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: out the function, but so like you can't get around that,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: So like what do you do then?
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Like what're for places?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Popping out for Christmas and exchanging the gifts and the
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: food and like you know what exchange?
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: What do you do?
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: I think things that's on my cup? Right, I do
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: things like cook, I surround myself when maybe friends, because
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: you know, sometimes friends are your new family. And as
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: long as you're surrounded by that love or the things
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: that makes you happy, your cup is full. You can't
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: be emptied by nothing that you didn't allow.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: You know what's crazy, Brandon.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you have anything to say back
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: to that, because that made me think of the friends
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: or there's been a report about how this year a
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: lot people have been seeing There's been a lot of
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: reports about friends being the new boyfriend.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was mostly a woman though, right that report,
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, I hope, I hope not.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: I hope.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: So to apply to the anonymous caller, I agree. Like
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I think, if you're at a Christmas event or any
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: family event and it always brings you down, and you know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: you just leave the event feeling terrible about yourself or
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: just terrible towards others, or it takes you out of character,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: you should definitely find something else to do. But I
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: do think the important part is to find something else
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: to do on that day so you're not down in
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: the dumps and depressed even when nobody's around. I think
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: you should always maybe take a trip or like she said,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: go out with friends or go to a friend's significant
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: others family's place. I think it's important to do something
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: on that day, especially if you're used to doing something
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: instead of just at home and you know, just thinking
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: about how much you not hate your family, but are
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: not good.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: And good but one one those school potato salad.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Now you hate your family, not hate your family, but
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: you're not getting along with your family, and just just
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: kind of take your mind off it in a in
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: a positive way. So I agree with everything that Colin said.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: I guess you know because I also know too, like
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: around this time, there are always a lot of reports
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: from like, uh, you know, not to make it dark,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: but there's always a lot of reports from various like
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: suicide previ mention websites and stuff like that, just about
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: like you know how people in that grief of like
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: having to disconnect. And I know Oprah got a lot
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: of pushback earlier this year when she talked about this
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: new trend of people fully going ghosts on their family
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: and like being like, you know what if you violate
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: my mental and my peace family or not, I'm not
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: dealing with you.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: What are with that?
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I'm with that.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: But I guess my my question is then so you skip,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: you skip Christmas? You might be able to skip a thing,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: but they're still your family. And the caller on the
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: line I would love to hear, like what do you
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: do long term? Because your family so your family every
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: single day of your life, so long term are you
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: having conversations with them posts Christmas?
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Like, yo, I didn't even want to come to Christmas.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Y'all need to get it together.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Here are some things like how do you deal with
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: it the other three hundred and sixty four days of
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: the year.
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: I think I don't want it to get confused with
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: the value of family. I think that you know, those
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: relationships you have to continue to mend if they're worth mending.
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: And then if you can't get past that, I think
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: that you know, I'm a faith person, so you you
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: sent it to die, let him handle it, and in
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: all faith, hope that it works out for the best.
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: But the other three one hundred and sixty five days,
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: if there was no effort put towards the relationship, then
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: I hate to say it, but you got to do
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: what you gotta do and kind of like press on.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: So first question, when is the last time you didn't
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: go home for holiday?
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: Last Christmas?
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Did you go to Christmas this year for your family?
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah? And I think the trajectory changed, right because there
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: have been some honest conversations that have happened and some
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: actualities that sometimes people they just don't change and you
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: can't want it more than them. But I also think
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: that I don't have to blame all others around them
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: just for some of the other things that people do.
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: So you know, give you a hug when I walk
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: in love you mean it by and then you know,
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: enjoy the rest of the day because it's not everybody's faults.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: So what came out of the honest conversation, like, did
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: they acknowledge that things that was making you feel a
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: way about them?
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: I think it was acknowledged at the time in the
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: you know, the space that it was had in, But
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: then after that maybe not. Maybe behaviors don't change all
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: the time, and I think the best apology has changed behaviors.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: So so you you're just gonna suck it up this
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: year pretty much, or just suck it up this year.
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: I guess I just sucked it up this year.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Well, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year. Hopefully they
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: can see you in the New Year as well, because
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: you know, New Year knew me. You know, they might
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: need that inspiration, they might need to get inspired by whoever.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: The new U will be in twenty twenty six, you know,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: yeah it happens. Well, thank you for joining us on
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: the line with the Low Riders. It's a new segment
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: that we're doing here at the Ladies with Lorna Rosa
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: the podcast. So every now and then we will be
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: posting a number of via social Make sure you're following
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: me everywhere Laura l Rosa on all platforms. That's l
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: R ETN l O R O s A. Because when
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: we tell y'all, we need y'all to call, I need
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: y'all on my line. Okay, be blowing me up. I
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: need y'all on the line with Laura l Rosa, My
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Low Riders.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: You're trying to be one with the people, you know.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: One, two three, A couple me a couple of things
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: with the people.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: But bringing y'all in, I think it's really fun to
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: hear from you guys a bit.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I'll see you guys in the next episode.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Maybe we'll be talking to some more Lowriders in the
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: next episode.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Maybe not. Maybe I didn't go to Christmas, No I went.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I went, you know.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: You know, she says she loved her family too. We're
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: gonna end the episode here, y'all. It has been another
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: episode of the latest so long the rest of the podcast.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you guys could be
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: anywhere with any old body talking about these things, my Lowriders,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: but y'all choose to be right here within me every episode,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate you guys.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: For that, I'll see y'all in the next one.