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You're Doing Better Than You Think: Walking with God Through Motherhood | Ashley Armijo · Coffee and Bible Time Podcast

• 1:01
  Speaker 1: At the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Our goal is to help you delight in God's Word and thrive in Christian living.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Each week, we talk to subject matter experts who broaden your biblical understanding, encourage you in hard times and provide life-building tips to enhance your Christian walk.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: We are so glad you have joined us.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Coffee and Bible Time podcast.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: This is Ellen, your host.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I'm here today with my wonderful daughter, ashley, and I want to start by saying something that you may have not heard in a while, and that is you're doing better than you think.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: If you're tuning in today, chances are you are a mom who loves God deeply, but you're also exhausted, stretched thin and still feeling like your best isn't enough.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You want to spend time in God's word.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: You want to pray without distractions.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: You want to feel spiritually filled up, but between work, laundry, carpool, tantrums, dishes and everything else, it just feels impossible sometimes.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: So if your Bible is collecting dust and you don't even have time to pee alone, let alone update your prayer journal, this episode is for you.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Today, we're going to talk about what it really means to walk with God in the middle of motherhood.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I'm joined by Ashley, my daughter, co-creator of Coffee and Bible Time, and she is the mother to a wonderful 10-month-old baby boy.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So, hi, ash, how are you today?
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I am today doing good because my husband gave me two extra hours of sleep this morning, which was really needed.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: But I'm just really enjoying Leo being 10 months old and he's such a joy, I think.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: When I have family around I just feel a lot more like I'm able to breathe.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: But if you would have asked me that question on a different day, maybe I would have been a frazzled mess.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but today has been a good day Good, good.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely there's ups and downs.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about some of the lies that maybe you have been tempted to believe over these last 10 months of motherhood, and the first one is I'm alone in this.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: How have you felt that?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: in this.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: How have you felt that yeah, I think that is a lie, that I can tend to believe a lot and moms can believe a lot.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, I can feel alone in things that I'm going through and wondering if other moms go through that too.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: And I think when you stay in your own little bubble, you can start to get that thinking of I'm the the only one going through this?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Or I'm the only one who hasn't gotten sleep and can barely survive through the night, or I'm the only one who is dealing with, you know, a kid who's going through tantrums right now, or going through a fussy phase man, that nine-month regression was really hard.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Or I'm the only mom who, like, gets so much anxiety when I hear my baby cry, which is so not true.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: All mothers are going through hard things and maybe not all mothers are going through that exactly, but a lot are.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And I think once I put myself in community with other moms and we just talk about the realness of what momming is like, it really, really, really helps.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: And, of course, reminding yourself of the truth that in Christ, we aren't alone.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Before this, we were even talking about how sometimes it can even feel lonely, like my husband is working nights, sometimes like he has ministry during the nights, and I'll be home with the baby and I feel alone, or my family lives far away and I'll feel lonely in that and wishing that I had them with me.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: But yeah, there is so much truth in the fact that we know that Christ is with us always and just what I said community, the body of Christ coming around and reminding us.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're one for over 20 years and it was always mentor, who was older, who had been through that or someone who had a friend who was just, was always able to be there and encourage and say, no, you're not alone.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Right Like this is something that they have gotten through and you can get through it too.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my group of moms at church is so amazing and it's just so refreshing to have, like other moms who are honest about their season of life and realizing okay, I'm not alone in my struggles and my hardships and I see the joys of motherhood through these other women.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: What would you say to someone who is succumbing to the lie that they have to be like xyz in order to be a good mom?
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: man, I will say, um, being a mom in the social media age is hard, um, because there are a lot of influencers that are expert in motherhood stuff, like sleep training your baby, or baby led weaning, or like how to handle tantrums, and the list goes on and on.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: There's so many experts or mothers out there who share their lives, and so you, of course, are easily comparing your life and your child to their life or to what they're suggesting.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: And I've had to cut off social media when it comes to mom content, because the voice of that was becoming louder than my own mom instinct voice within me, and I do believe that God gives mothers an instinct to know what's best for their baby, to know what's best for their child, and I felt that social media was getting in the way of that.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Now I will say there are incredible things that I have learned from social media Fun activities you can do with your child, or interesting hacks for like teething and stuff.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it's about your heart and how you handle it.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: And the lie of okay, I'm not being a good enough mom because I can't train my baby like this person does, or you know, I can't be a mom of six kids and feed them sourdough bread every day and whatever.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know I.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Just there are some moms out there that are crushing it online from what it seems like you know, and then you're like, oh, oh, man, I'm struggling.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Well, I think part of you personally was that you would look up umpteen different sources on the same topic.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: And by the time you get done, looking at 10 different opinions on the same topic, you don't know what to believe or do or think.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: It was so confusing, yeah, and I don't know, like I don't know the answer as a mom and I just have to try to figure it out.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: In the moment, and sometimes, most of the time, having 5 million different opinions is not helpful.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I think what's better is to tap into that community God has given you.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Tap into, you know for me my own mom, mom to say, hey, what do you think about this?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Like older woman, wiser advice.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: And then also there were so many moments where it's like, okay, lord, I'm at the end of my rope, I'm at the end of myself, I don't know what to do.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I need your wisdom.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: And of course, there's times where my husband has known better than me and I've had to humble myself and take upon his opinion and do what he thinks is best in the situation too.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: The last lie here we're going to talk about is if I were a better person, I wouldn't feel angry or frustrated or lonely or whatever emotion.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: How is that a lie?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: And what has God taught you is the truth.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I do think sometimes those certain emotions like anger or frustration, sadness, loneliness, can conjure up that feeling of you.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Know why am I feeling this?
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: If I were a better mom, I wouldn't be feeling this.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Or if I were a better wife, I wouldn't be feeling this or I wouldn't be getting frustrated all the time or upset or angry.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: And I actually have been reading a book recently and it talked about your emotions are important and they're telling you something.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: So don't ignore that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Don't ignore that feeling you have inside.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Acknowledge it and ask yourself okay, why am I feeling this way?
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Why am I feeling angry, why am I feeling frustrated?
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Why am I feeling lonely?
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: And what can I do about it?
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: How can I bring these emotions to God, honestly?
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: How can I bring them to my husband Honestly?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: How can I, you know, not put them in the dark, but put them out in the light?
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Just acknowledging your emotions and like writing them down or telling someone that already brings you 90% of like okay, like I'm working through this, I'm going to be okay Cause you've you've gotten it off your chest.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: But then from there, I feel like you can even come up with like okay, how can I work through this?
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Like, a lot of times, I'm actually feeling frustrated because I'm tired, I don't have enough energy, so I'm at the end of my rope.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: So from there, I can ask my husband for help and say I'm I'm feeling really tired and frustrated today.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Can you please help me in this area?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Yes or hey, I'm feeling really lonely.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Can we go and visit my family this weekend?
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: So there's steps you can do, but if you don't ever acknowledge that emotion, then you can't find steps to help you, just work through it Right.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: You can't find steps to help, you just work through it Right, and God beat us with all of these different feelings and emotions, and processing through them is a very important thing to do that you're not just burying it and then one day having huge blow up.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Which does happen?
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: It can happen, yeah, but if you can try to.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Man, I need to hear from you, though.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: You're a mom of three and you've raised three kids.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I can say, ashley, that I have grown and grown and grown and grown and grown, and it's not something that comes to you as a very young mom, something that comes to you as a very young mom.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Once you experience these types of things, god grows you.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: You learn from other people in your groups and your own mom, and I think that that's the encouraging thing is that God doesn't just leave us stuck in the pit.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: He gives us other people and through prayer and ways of knowing that you're not alone and your feelings are acceptable.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: What does it look like to experience God's presence in the middle of chaos?
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I think people who are listening to this and they may not even be a mom I'm thinking of this wonderful book Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, a little teeny, tiny book, but he talks about as a monk doing the dishes.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: That was a time that he used to connect to God.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: So how about for when you're in the middle of this mom chaos?
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: What does God's presence look like to you?
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, I tend to forget God is around during the day and I'm still trying to figure that out, since becoming a new mom, of how to incorporate looking towards him throughout the day.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: One thing that other experienced mom actually encouraged me to do was because even reading my Bible can be overwhelming sometimes.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: But to find like one little nugget of wisdom and truth, like, let's say, one verse in the Psalms like your word is a light to my path, and write it down on a sticky note and then put it somewhere in your house that you're always going by.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: And I want to start doing that because, as of recently, it's been hard to figure out a new routine with a new little one when it comes to seeking God throughout the day.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: But I really like the idea of just kind of chewing on one verse throughout the day.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: So keep me accountable.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: You guys Message me on Instagram and ask me if I've done that.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because as a young mom with a young baby and I'm working and keeping the house together and doing all these things, I just it's hard.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you can turn like things that could be mundane into times of prayer, like if you're folding laundry and you hold up a little tiny pair of blue pants and okay, b for blue, and then say, okay, I'm going to thank God something that starts with a, b for your son.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: I love that idea and just I don't know.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Just try to use the situations that you're in to make it.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Your mind will be thinking a little bit more and you can use it.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I will say this for Lent I got rid of YouTube.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I didn't make it the whole time but um, but I made it probably a month with no, you know, youtube, except for, of course, educational videos I allowed myself to watch.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: But I found myself thinking, okay, what do I do in this time that I'm not watching YouTube?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: And then I was like I'm just gonna pray.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: So it was really good cutting out.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Cutting out YouTube for a short time was very helpful, yeah.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Well, I applaud you for attempting that and, hey, a month is a long time, all right.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: So, ashley, how do you see Jesus in his lifetime here on earth?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Some things that he did that were acts of servanthood, just like a mother would have many acts of servanthood that she does a mother would have many acts of servanthood that she does.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: That's a great question.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: I've never thought of that, where you know, thinking about Jesus' life, how he really did serve.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: It was like a mom, because that's a mom's job is serving all day, especially when you have really, really little ones.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: You're serving them with everything bringing them food, breastfeeding.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: You're serving them with everything bringing them food, breastfeeding, changing diapers, clothes, everything.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: I definitely see the heart of Jesus in well.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: First of all, the way that he treated children, the way that he didn't dismiss them but he brought them in and he didn't look down on them for being young, but still cherished them.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I see the heart of an incredible father there.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: Of course, the servanthood tasks that he did, like washing his disciples' feet and caring deeply for his disciples and bringing them under his wing and teaching them.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: His disciples were like children, like teaching children, like we all are, just immature in ways and needing a teacher and a guide and someone to mentor them, just like we all do.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Even the way he treated the woman at the well with so much grace and love and caring for her emotions and caring for her needs and also pointing her to truth when she wasn't walking in his way.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I think Jesus is an incredible example for all moms to follow.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: There are a number of really good resources available to reframe the mundane, and one of those is from Every Moment Holy, and you said you're familiar with that resource.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I have them.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: There's like three I think probably over three of those books now but they have different prayers for mundane moments of your life, like changing your baby's diaper.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: There are some for breastfeeding, so really, really good.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll put a link to those in the show notes, but you might want to check those out for sure, and I know there's also great resources in different apps, like the Glorify app, for example, has prayers that you can use for every kind of mom, whether you're a working mom, stay at home mom, a young mom, so check up on those as well.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Well, ashley, thank you so much for just sharing a little bit of your heart, and what it's been like for 10 months Sounds like someone's calling for you now.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I love you.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I think you're doing an amazing, amazing job as a mother, and he's so blessed to have you by God's grace, and I'm so blessed to have him.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Well, let me just close out our podcast here today and pray for any mothers that might be listening.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Lord, god, we just come to you today on behalf of all the mothers out there that are listening.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: We pray for anyone who's in the hard throes of young children mothering, that you would give them encouragement and perseverance and strength.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: We pray for the moms of teenagers.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Those can be hard years as well, and you would just fill them with your wisdom and your Holy Spirit and help them to be gentle guides during that time.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: And, lord, we just thank you again too, even for all the moms of grown children, and that you would just help us to continue to be mentors and to love grandchildren well.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So, lord, we just put all of this into your hands In Jesus' name.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Amen, amen.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you all for joining us on the Coffee and Bible Time podcast today.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I hope that you're feeling a little bit refreshed by today's conversation and if you've been blessed by listening to the podcast, we would love it if you would subscribe and share this with another mom who might need some encouragement today.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: All right, we'll talk to you the next time.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Bye.