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I Hate My Body! The History of Body Dissatisfaction In Females · Raising Daughters

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Raising Daughters, the podcast that helps parents learn
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: the best ways to support their daughters as they navigate
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: the high levels of stress, anxiety, pressure, and uncertainties so
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: pervasive in our culture today. Doctor Tim Jordan is a
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: developmental and behavioral pediatrician who has specialized in counseling girls
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: for over thirty years and shed's light on the realities
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: of today's young women in all facets of their lives.
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  Speaker 1: This is your opportunity to learn how to better support
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: your daughters, making them feel safe, secure, and truly loved
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: in the midst of life's ups and downs. Here is
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: your host, Doctor Tim.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Hello, their friends, stutter. Tim Jordan back here with you
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: with a brand new podcast. Thank you so much for
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: stopping in here every week and listening to these and
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: hopefully you're taking away some good information and some good
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: tools that you can use when you are parenting your.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Daughter and son.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Today's topic, as often as the case, was triggered by
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: an experience I had. My wife asked me a lot
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: of times, how do you get the ideas for these podcasts?
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: And oftentimes starts with experiencing something in my life. Two
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  Speaker 2: things that I experienced recently that prompted this discussion. And
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  Speaker 2: by the way, the discussion is about body dissatisfaction in
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: our girls. And the first thing happened recently with our granddaughter.
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  Speaker 2: Our six month old granddaughter was at our house for
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  Speaker 2: about three.
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  Speaker 3: Days visiting, and.
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  Speaker 2: You know, she's so cute. What is cuter than a
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  Speaker 2: six month old little girl, right, But one of the
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  Speaker 2: things that I noticed was we were later on our
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  Speaker 2: tummy because she needs some tummy time, and there's a
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: there's a little blanket that has a mirror on it,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: and so we put her so she could reach for
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  Speaker 2: these little toys and things. But what really grabbed her
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: attention was doing like a downward dog or a cobra
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  Speaker 2: like a yoga post over the mirror and looking at
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  Speaker 2: herself and just being enamored. She would smile and then
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  Speaker 2: she'd look away, and then she'd go right back to
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: looking down at her image and smile. And that was
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: kind of different than when I heard the previous week
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  Speaker 2: at our summer camp where we had twenty five middle
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: school girls and twenty five high school girls, and in
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  Speaker 2: our learning times with those middle schoolers and high schoolers,
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  Speaker 2: I heard a lot of angst and insecurities about how
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  Speaker 2: they looked when they look in the mirror, most of
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  Speaker 2: what they think about is negative. They look at the
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  Speaker 2: things they don't like versus things that they do like.
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  Speaker 2: I heard a lot of a lot, a lot of
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  Speaker 2: complaints about their friend friends, fat shaming each other, a
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  Speaker 2: lot of comparing with each other unfavorably with how they look.
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  Speaker 2: So I contrasted that with my granddaughter, and so I thought,
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  Speaker 2: what I would do today is talk to you about
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  Speaker 2: the history of body of body dissatisfaction with our girls.
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  Speaker 2: I've seen some data this shows that early on in life,
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  Speaker 2: even by the time girls are three years of age,
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  Speaker 2: they look at people who are overweight differently. I read
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  Speaker 2: one study a while back that showed that when three
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  Speaker 2: to five year olds were presented with dolls of different shapes,
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  Speaker 2: the girls in the study, who at that age again
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  Speaker 2: three to five year olds, constantly and consistently preferred the
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  Speaker 2: thinner version of the dolls. The bigger doll was thought
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  Speaker 2: of as being more sad and tired and having no friends,
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  Speaker 2: and she was also.
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  Speaker 3: That the heavier doll.
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  Speaker 2: The heavier doll was also the least likely to be
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: chosen to want to be played with. Only about ten
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  Speaker 2: percent of girls wanted to play with the chubby doll.
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  Speaker 2: The thin doll was their clear favorite, and they also
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  Speaker 2: considered that that thinner doll being the prettiest doll. Despite
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: all three dolls that they showed like a thin one,
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  Speaker 2: a medium sized one, and a chubby one, despite that
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  Speaker 2: all three dolls having the same faces, they clearly favored
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  Speaker 2: the thinner one. They thought she was the prettiest. There's
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  Speaker 2: all kinds of data today that shows that the majority
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  Speaker 2: of girls are unhappy with their bottle, with their bodies,
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  Speaker 2: that a lot of girls expressed the desire to lose weight.
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  Speaker 2: One studies show that forty six percent of nine to
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  Speaker 2: eleven year old girls are sometimes are very often on diets,
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  Speaker 2: and two percent of their families are sometimes are very
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: often on diets. One other quick statistic I saw in
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  Speaker 2: a study, because I don't want to bore you with stats,
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  Speaker 2: but this is interesting. The number of Americans aged nineteen
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  Speaker 2: and under, so zero to eighteen year old girls who
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  Speaker 2: got injections of botox or similar kind of products rose
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  Speaker 2: seventy five percent from twenty nineteen to twenty twenty two,
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  Speaker 2: and that rose again in twenty twenty three. Girls getting
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  Speaker 2: plastic surgery, girls getting botox has gone up and up
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  Speaker 2: and up. So was it always this way? When did
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  Speaker 2: women and girls start to become dissatisfied with their bodies?
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  Speaker 2: Let me give you a historical perspective. I think that's
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  Speaker 2: often really valuable. I hope this is not boring for you.
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  Speaker 2: It's I think it's fascinating. So listen, I'm gonna start
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  Speaker 2: in the eighteen hundreds. I'm gonna go all the way
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  Speaker 2: till today to talk about what's changed, what's changed in
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  Speaker 2: the culture, and what's changed in our perspective. Back in
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  Speaker 2: the eighteen hundredsiness was fashionable. Women were expected to gain
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: weight after their pregnancies. That's different today. Right in the
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: nineteen fifties, the Victorian Age came to be, and then
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: things started to shift. Good works, character, being of service,
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  Speaker 2: those things are way more important than good looks. Then
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: courses came into being with the ideal of a more
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: slim waste. So between eighteen fifty and nineteen hundred, things
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  Speaker 2: started to shift a little bit as far as how
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  Speaker 2: we looked at women's bodies. Here's a quote from nineteen
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  Speaker 2: oh five. Nineteen oh five, the modern desire, particularly of
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  Speaker 2: the female of the species is slimness. It is undesirable
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  Speaker 2: to require special clothes, restrict social and recreational activities, and
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: be the target of jokes. So over one hundred years ago,
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  Speaker 2: we started to worry a little bit about girls being overweight.
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  Speaker 2: What changed in the early nineteen hundreds, more women were
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: going to high school with their same sex peers. One
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: reason was they needed to have a high school degree
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  Speaker 2: to become a teacher, and so they started to become
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  Speaker 2: more concerned with how they looked with they can start
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  Speaker 2: comparing waste sizes, their weight, breast size because they were
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: together with Saint Maid's peers every day all day. Also,
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  Speaker 2: there's a growing interest in athleticism in women and girls.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: By the early nineteen hundreds, women could actually start to
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  Speaker 2: ride bikes. It was okay, think about.
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  Speaker 3: That for a moment.
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  Speaker 2: Before that time, women weren't riding bikes. It was considered
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: to be a man's thing. Here's a big deal that
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: started happening in the early nineteen hundreds. Bathrooms moved indoors.
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  Speaker 2: So there was a bathroom now, it wasn't an out
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  Speaker 2: house anymore. Bathrooms indoors. There's a sink with a mirror,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: and so for the first time, you could see yourself
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  Speaker 2: every day. There was much more attention paid to your
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: hair and your face, acne in your face, and thus
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: came out more products for acne and dieting. Whereas running water,
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: indoors mirrors, electric lights gave women more opportunities for self scrutiny,
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  Speaker 2: and the mirror became this new kind of self reflection.
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  Speaker 2: Before that time, the only time you saw yourself in
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  Speaker 2: a mirror was at a state fair. But elegantia, hundreds
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  Speaker 2: mirrors came into our bathrooms, especially for middle class people
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  Speaker 2: and above. And then not too long after, weighing scales
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  Speaker 2: were now in the homes. And again before that, the
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: only time you could weigh yourself was at a county
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  Speaker 2: fair or maybe at the local drug store. But now
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  Speaker 2: you could weigh yourself every single day. Those are huge
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  Speaker 2: shifts bathrooms through the indoors, scales, mirrors, and also attitudes.
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  Speaker 2: A slender figure started to be in people having better character,
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  Speaker 2: a better person who made for a better worker, who
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: was far more employable, and so fat and guilt became intertwined.
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  Speaker 2: There's this new focus on consumerism, sexuality, dieting started becoming
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: more popular, and it created this self loathing when you
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  Speaker 2: failed of that. So people started to feel bad and
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  Speaker 2: were considered to be lesser people.
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  Speaker 3: If they were overweight. That was new.
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  Speaker 2: Another thing that happened in the early nineteen hundreds was
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  Speaker 2: there's an increase in buying your clothes in a store.
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  Speaker 2: Before that, most of our clothes were homemade, and because
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: they were homemade, there were no sizes. But store ball
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  Speaker 2: clothes brought sizes because our bodies had to fit into
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  Speaker 2: these predetermined standard sizes, and those became the norm. And
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: if a girl did not fit into these sizes, they
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  Speaker 2: started to wonder and worry about what's wrong with my body?
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  Speaker 2: They started to have increased self consciousness because of that.
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  Speaker 2: And then of course advertising started to amp up, and
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  Speaker 2: advertising changed from kind of dry and formal ads to
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  Speaker 2: these more emotional appeals evoking better ways of life through
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  Speaker 2: these products that they were selling. And so by nineteen
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  Speaker 2: twenty there was a frenzy of new dieting materials, primarily
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  Speaker 2: directed at girls and women. So a new guilt became
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  Speaker 2: associated with being overweight. Clothing started creating standardized sizes that
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  Speaker 2: if you didn't fit the mold, if you will, you
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  Speaker 2: started to think bad about yourself advertising change and then
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  Speaker 2: also our standard for.
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  Speaker 3: What was beautiful.
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  Speaker 2: One crowned the first Miss America nineteen twenty one, and
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  Speaker 2: Miss America who won in nineteen twenty one, was five
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  Speaker 2: foot one inches tall and she weighed one hundred and
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  Speaker 2: eight pounds with a twenty five inch waist went toweight
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  Speaker 2: twenty five inch waist fast forward. Miss Americans in the
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  Speaker 2: nineteen eighties were at least five to seven if not taller,
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  Speaker 2: with the same weight and with a waist size of
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  Speaker 2: twenty two inches, so at least six to eight inches taller,
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  Speaker 2: same weight, a much smaller waist size. The nineteen twenties
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  Speaker 2: brought some changes also on how we looked at women.
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  Speaker 2: The flappers that we've all heard about, you know, the dance,
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  Speaker 2: the dancing and all. They were more slender, youthful, flat chested,
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  Speaker 2: long limbed. So fashion also started shifting more to giving
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  Speaker 2: attention to women's legs. There's a revolution in women's clothing.
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  Speaker 2: It was closer fitting, more revealing. A lot of times
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  Speaker 2: people worried about that in nineteen twenties, but that became
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  Speaker 2: the norm for our young people. Here's a quote from
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  Speaker 2: nineteen thirty four from Parent magazine, whether a girl is
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  Speaker 2: pretty or plain. There's apt to be a beauty problem
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  Speaker 2: to solve. It must be handled with wisdom, and it
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: requires the best resources of the beauty business. Wow, that's poignant, right.
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  Speaker 2: The cosmetic industry started to amp up big time, and
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: it was dominated by American adolescent girls. Advertising became geared
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  Speaker 2: to teen girls anxieties, their insecurity about their looks. There's
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: much more worrying about what other people were saying and doing.
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  Speaker 2: Here's what won the product advertisements said back in the
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  Speaker 2: nineteen thirties, products can bring you popularity, status, and self confidence.
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  Speaker 2: There's a huge increase investment in products skin care, orthodonics,
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  Speaker 2: weight loss diets, weight loss camps, contact lenses became in vogue.
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  Speaker 2: At some point, plastic surgeries. A nineteen forties Emily Post
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  Speaker 2: etiquette book stated that it is hard for overweight girls
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  Speaker 2: to be dignified. Let me say that again. Nineteen forty
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  Speaker 2: Emily Post Etiquette book shared it is hard for overweight
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  Speaker 2: girls to be dignified again. The attitudes about overweight girls
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: getting more and more intense. A nineteen fifties quote from
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  Speaker 2: a magazine, you're a doctor and your mom can help,
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  Speaker 2: but you're the only one who can really do this.
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  Speaker 2: You can go on being a fat girl, or you
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: can follow the diet and get down to a normal
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  Speaker 2: weight that's healthy and attractive again dissing overweight girls.
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  Speaker 3: The nineteen fifties brought some.
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  Speaker 2: More medical data about the harmful effects of being overweight.
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  Speaker 2: Men became first aware and aware I'm sorry, became first
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: afraid of things like heart attacks, blood pressure, cholesterol, diet
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: soft drinks came into vogue. Diet foods became more popular.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Dieting became a visible measure of a person's discipline and
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: their character, just like being overweight was a measure of
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: a person's discipline and character.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: According to the culture, the nineteen.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Sixties, baby boomers came to be fifties and sixties, and
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: fascists became a little bit more relaxed. It was an
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: era in the fifties and sixties, the early sixties of
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: more full figured women, fuller breasts, fuller hips. I think
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: movie stars like Marilyn Monroe, Jane Mansfield, Jane Russell, those
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: were not thin little creatures. Those are more full figured women.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Breast became the focal point, and long legs and high
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: heels also became popular. Think about that Marilyn Monroe picture
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: of her standing over that air vent with her short
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: skirt and her high heels. But then in the sixties
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: it started to shift again again, shifting, shifting, shifting, So
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: being thin in the sixties and weight became a much
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: bigger concern. Models like Twiggy became popular. Girls started to
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: count their calories and skip meals, and diving became a
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: normal part of most teen girls' lives. The fashion showed
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: more legs, more thighs, mid drifts, jeans and mikis and
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: mini skirts, with an emphasis on the lower body and
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: the buttocks and the upper thighs. Then a phrase came
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: to be called thunder thighs that emerged in the nineteen
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: seventies and eighties. Concerned about sayalite liposunction became popular in
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: the eighties and beyond. But it was thin that was
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: the model in the sixties, that was what was beautiful
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: girls who were thin, like Twiggy. It was also as
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: interesting a push to have younger girls start wearing trainer bras,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: so the earlier sexualization of our young girls. We started
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: dressing little girls in bras and bikinis. It implied this
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: adult look, and it marked girls as sexual objects. That
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: sexual objection of objectification became much more prevalent in the
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: sixties and seventies. The other thing is because of the
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: sexual revolution. In the sixties, acceptance of women's sexuality and
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: the need to be sexually attractive became much more in vogue.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: By the sixties, women were told they need to be
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: thin and sexy and acceptable in bed. So more acceptance
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: of sexuality brought a new shift in how I need
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: to look in order to be sexually sexy and to
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: be sexual. Nineteen seventies nineteen eighties brought a fitness craze.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Jazzer size, a lean tone body became valued. I think
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Jane found of workouts. The need to fight fat remained
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: a matter of demonstrating character and self control in an
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: air of excess. In the seventies and eighties, there was
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: a way to show virtue when our culture seemed to
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: be more virtue less. And if you look back in history,
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: there's been historical intensifications with concern about weight occurring in
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: times of greater prosperity, So in prosperity, more excess. Trying
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: to balance that with shame and guilt and especially shame
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: and guilt about bodies and thinness and weight. Then the
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: nineties brought a new ideal of lean, muscular, taught bodies
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: with buns and abs of steel, shaped arms, shape legs.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Once again, it shifted not because of some new new
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: incredible study from the medical community, because of the fashion industry.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: People wanted to make more money. It's also interesting, starting
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: in the eighties and nineties, girls started to become more independent,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: and girls were dating without supervision. Let's throw it back
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: in the thirties and forties, but really intensified telephone in
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: our homes, cars, driving movies. Everybody was in high school.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: The movies became more sexualized. Magazines, comic books and all
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: those things shifted attention to women's visual image, and that
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: again intensified body dissatisfaction because we didn't look like those
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: images in the magazines, and we didn't look like the
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: movie stars. Today's girls are constantly worried about their weight,
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: about their body, about their food intake, about dieting, working
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: on their body, comparing their to everybody, their peers, and
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: social media images around the world, so they never feel okay,
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: they never feel content. There's this constant dissatisfaction with how
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: they look, and advertisers and marketers play to these anxieties
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: and insecurities. That has led to today's girls and women
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: who view their body image I either size, their weight,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: it becomes the most important, the most noticed, and the
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: defining aspect of their identity. I hear that over and
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: over and over in my retreats, in my camps, in
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: my circle times. It's change the way girls come of age.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Girls they have more freedom, more opportunities and choice, but
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: they're still being constrained by standards, conditioning, and pressures to
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: look a certain way. It's also true today that girls
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: their body, their sensuality. That became their primary currency to
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: get attention, to get status, notoriety, to get love. It
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: becomes their identity. It's the only capital that girls think
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: they possess. I am my body, I am my weight,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I am my sexual appeal. And they so undervalue much
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: more important qualities and aspects of themselves, things like their courage,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: things like their problem solving, their intelligence, their athleticism, their kindness,
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: their empathy. There's so many more important things, but the
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: focus is on their looks, and not just their looks,
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: but how their looks compares to everybody.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: Else on the planet.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: With social media, exhibitionism, perfectionism, lookism, consumerism, all those things
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: causes girls and women to be obsessed with their weight,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: their body, their fashion, how they dress, being sexy, being attractive.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: One of the things I teach girls in my retreats
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: in my camps is it might be more important. What
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: might be more important than being attractive to a guy
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: is to know what you want to attract. That's a switch, right.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I think gross bodies are constantly discussed, analyzed, displayed, harassed
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: as early as late grade school, middle school, and high school, groped.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: It's hard for girls to make sense of their body
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: and sexuality as it's changing. They need safe, sacred spaces
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: to grow and develop their identities, and it's hard to
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: find that today in our culture because they're constantly bombarded
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: with images and advertising and media messages. They're so unhealthy.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do a podcast in the near future
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: with some of my campers from this past summer. We're
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: talking about this issue in some of our circles, and
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I was so fascinating to hear their points of view
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: about their looks, about makeup, about body image, and The
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: unfortunate thing is girls' bodies are changing, and they're going
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: through puberty much earlier than the past, so they look
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: older than their their chronological age. They look older than
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: their emotional age. They look older than their brain maturation age,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: so they don't have the wisdom and the impost control.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: They don't have a mature prefrontal cortex, meaning they don't
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: have the perspective to understand and resist pressures and the
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: temptations of our sexualized culture. They become so externally focused,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: so outer focused, and needing affirmation about their attractiveness and
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: my pretty enough and my desirable We've got to do
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: a much better job of treating our girls like their
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: chronological age and their emotional age versus how they look.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Another interesting point historically, this is about African American girls.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: The preoccupation with weight and dieting didn't really catch on
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: so much among African American women. African American teen girls
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: in surveys worried less about their bodies. Large African American
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: women are held to be more emotionally stable, less preoccupied
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: with all the superficial issues and things. It reflects the
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: power position women have held in African American families and
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: their economy. African American women have always worked, and so
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: size and strength were an advantage, and that's carried over
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: the African American unity. It tends to be matriarchal, so
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: cultural prestige from motherhood still persists. That's an interesting difference.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: The shifting cultural standards for how women are supposed to look,
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: and how they're supposed to judge themselves and other people,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: how they should eat their weight, all those things have
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: been a moving target for years, a moving target of standards, ideals, expectations.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: So it's no wonder that girls are confused about their
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: looks and their appearance. Makes sense why they start looking
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: outside themselves for am I Okay, there's so many images
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: out there for them to compare themselves to. It's so
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: confusing and so stressful. We've got to do a much
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: better job of teaching girls about images that they see.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Media savvy and this is something we need to teach them.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: I've done some previous podcasts on that. Also, they need
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: to understand this historical perspective, because how they're supposed to
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: look today was not how they were supposed to look
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: twenty years ago, thirty years ago, fifty years ago, one
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: hundred years ago. It keeps changing and shifting based upon money, basically,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: on advertising, on consumerism. It's not about anything that's real.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: It's about unreal standards, unreal ideals, unreal expectations, and they
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: don't know that. Even the brightest girls who I work with,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: who quote unquote know better, still tell me they get
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: caught up and looking at images online and they worry
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: about how they look, and they compare themselves unfavorably, even
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: though they know in their best mind that it's all
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: a facade, that nobody looks that way, that those images
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: aren't real, they're fabricated, they're fixed, all those things, but
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: they don't have the most emotional maturity to oftentimes resist that.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: It's hard, it's hard for women to do that. So
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: give them a historical perspective, remind them to start being
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: more internally directed and to not worry so much about
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: how they look. That's so easy to say, but that's
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: something that all girls need to grow into. But I
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: think them understanding about why the standards and ideals are
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: out there, I think that might be helpful for them
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: to have a more realistic standard for what they're going
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: to judge themselves by so that when they look in
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: the mirror, like my granddaughter, they will smile and be
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: satisfied as opposed to what they get today, which is hatred, dissatisfaction,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: et cetera. I hope this has been interesting and helpful
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: to go back in time one hundred and twenty years
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: to understand why we are where we are today and
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: what's going on in the last one hundred and twenty
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: years that's brought us there. Take good care of yourself,
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Give your daughters more information. Haven't listened to this podcast.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: I am going to post on my links a couple
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: of podcasts I did about body image in the past.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: One of them was about six months ago when I
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: interviewed to authors about the influence that moms have with
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: their daughter's body image. That's a really good one. The
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: other one was about when and why body image dissatisfaction begins. Also,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I wrote a book about probably about ten years ago,
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: called Sleeping Beauties Awakened Women Guiding the Transformation of Adolescent Girls.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: That's about how girls emotional lives shift and change. There's
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: what kind of needs they have emotionally cycled logically in
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: their adolescent years, How we can best support them through
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: that process of growing up. Lots of great information in
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: that book it's called Sleeping Beauties, Awakened Women Guiding the
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Transformation of Adlescent Girls up with that link for that
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: book also on the website. I'm sorry on my show notes.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: And the last thing is there's a book I read,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: oh several years ago. It's called Fat History by Peter Stearns,
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: and I'll put that in my show notes as well.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Really interesting book. And I think if you enjoyed this
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: podcast and you want to learn more and read Peter
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Sterearn's book. And once again, as I always say at
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: the end of my podcast, you have questions comments, write
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: me through my wife's email and a N N E
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: at d R tim Jordan dot com. I'm open to
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: your suggestions for future podcasts, things that you may be
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: concerned about want more information about, So write me an
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: email through that and I've also put that email also
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: in my show notes. Thank you so much for listening
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: into this podcast. I hope it's been helpful. I'll be
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: back in a week with something brand new for you.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for stopping by.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Raising Daughters.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Hopefully you've learned something useful about girls and young women
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: and how to help them navigate the pressures, challenges, and
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: opportunities of modern life. If you want to become a
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: more effective parent, keep listening to the show at doctor
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Tim Jordan dot com and let the conversations shape you.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Build that one of a kind connection with your daughters
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: in the most profound and meaningful ways possible, shaping them
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: into strong, confident women of the future. That's all for now.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: See you next week for another episode of Raising Daughters.