Latest / Earn Your Leisure / Money & Relationships: SHOULD MARRIED COUPLES HAVE SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Money and relationships. How should money... Because you know, the
- 0:03Speaker 1: thing about money is that money is a tool, right?
- 0:08Speaker 1: And it can be used to build or to destroy.
- 0:14Speaker 1: And money is one of the biggest factors in divorces.
- 0:19Speaker 2: Is it? Well, yeah. True.
- 0:20Speaker 1: So money and relationships. What's the role of money and relationships? Like,
- 0:25Speaker 1: how do you think.
- 0:28Speaker 1: Money should be utilized, talked about? When do you start
- 0:35Speaker 1: the conversation? Because this is a lot of awkward moments
- 0:39Speaker 1: that people don't really have.
- 0:40Speaker 2: Why is it awkward, though?
- 0:41Speaker 1: Because nobody likes to talk about money.
- 0:43Speaker 2: Why? Well, I do. I do. I think you got
- 0:46Speaker 2: to have uncomfortable conversations.
- 0:47Speaker 1: Early in a relationship?
- 0:49Speaker 2: Man, if I'm, yeah.
- 0:50Speaker 3: If I think we're going to end up in a relationship,
- 0:52Speaker 3: we got to have that conversation early and often.
- 0:54Speaker 2: What's your dream? What's your vision?
- 0:57Speaker 3: What business can we build together? Are you investing? Are
- 1:02Speaker 3: you a spender? Are you a saver? You got to
- 1:03Speaker 3: have them tough conversations in the beginning. Do you think
- 1:06Speaker 3: that a woman's role is to work or stay home?
- 1:09Speaker 3: You have those kinds of conversations?
- 1:10Speaker 2: Absolutely.
- 1:11Speaker 3: And I don't think a woman should work outside of
- 1:13Speaker 3: the castle. You can't be in my castle and go
- 1:15Speaker 3: work for another king. But you also got to provide
- 1:17Speaker 3: a motherfucking castle, first and foremost. So you got to
- 1:21Speaker 3: work in the business or have your own.
- 1:26Speaker 1: Okay, this is interesting. So you don't want your girl
- 1:30Speaker 1: or wife working for anyone else?
- 1:33Speaker 2: No.
- 1:36Speaker 1: Because it.
- 1:38Speaker 3: Because you're helping somebody else build their empire. And if
- 1:41Speaker 3: I'm going to take care of everything, then help me
- 1:43Speaker 3: build what's here. That's also another sign of like, do
- 1:46Speaker 3: you also believe in division a thousand percent? What the
- 1:51Speaker 3: fuck are you going to Goldman for if I got this?
- 1:54Speaker 3: And They ain't find you. I took 11 trips off
- 1:57Speaker 3: Red Bandit. I didn't take 11 off Goldman on accident.
- 2:02Speaker 3: So y'all can see all that. It's giving broke because
- 2:04Speaker 3: he said, fly yourself out.
- 2:06Speaker 2: Like, como playa capo por te fino. What y'all talking about? What?
- 2:12Speaker 2: Big as the what? Nah. Nah. Working south of the castle.
- 2:16Speaker 2: Working south of the castle.
- 2:18Speaker 1: Stylus, everything. Bags, everything.
- 2:21Speaker 2: What we talking about?
- 2:23Speaker 1: So if they want to work, then they should be
- 2:24Speaker 1: working Either.
- 2:25Speaker 2: Have your own business or work inside of the empire.
- 2:29Speaker 1: Is that a deal breaker for you?
- 2:32Speaker 2: Unless you're grossing more than I'm grossing you.
- 2:39Speaker 1: Hmm. Interesting.
- 2:41Speaker 2: I wish a motherfucker would tell me, like, I can't
- 2:43Speaker 2: go somewhere because my boss at Chick-fil-A said I can't go. Bitch,
- 2:46Speaker 2: how about that building? Come. What are you talking?
- 2:48Speaker 3: No.
- 2:49Speaker 2: Add some value here.
- 2:51Speaker 1: What? But for the average person that doesn't own their
- 2:55Speaker 1: own business or is not financially sturdy enough to pay
- 3:01Speaker 1: for their spouse, the average person, right?
- 3:04Speaker 3: Get in a position where you can so your girl
- 3:06Speaker 3: don't go dance on Amelie. Now we want to talk,
- 3:11Speaker 3: we want to talk. His swag was off anyway. That
- 3:15Speaker 3: little dusty hand shirt he had on, boy, no haircut.
- 3:18Speaker 2: I said, boy, you.
- 3:19Speaker 1: And he had a bird anyway.
- 3:21Speaker 2: Let that go be at the zoo.
- 3:23Speaker 1: You know, Brooklyn.
- 3:24Speaker 3: But for the average person, you got to have a
- 3:26Speaker 3: conversation and say, here's where I want to get to
- 3:28Speaker 3: in two years. And I always say, if you have
- 3:31Speaker 3: to ask your girl, does she believe in a vision?
- 3:33Speaker 3: Like you said, some things, if you asking her, she
- 3:36Speaker 3: don't believe.
- 3:38Speaker 2: Don't believe. You got to get you someone who willing
- 3:40Speaker 2: to build. And that's why you just can't pick off
- 3:42Speaker 2: looks or vibe or who not will.
- 3:45Speaker 3: Like my homegirl, Foxy, tell me all the time, like
- 3:47Speaker 3: you got to get somebody who's also going to invest
- 3:48Speaker 3: in you.
- 3:50Speaker 2: You got to be able to put something in. You
- 3:51Speaker 2: want to, fly around and have fun and all this
- 3:55Speaker 2: access that I built. All right, that's cool.
- 3:56Speaker 3: But what are you going to pour into this to
- 3:58Speaker 3: keep this shit sustainable and keep it going?
- 4:01Speaker 1: No, for sure. I agree.
- 4:02Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 4:02Speaker 1: I agree.
- 4:03Speaker 3: I know I may have said it gruff, but that's
- 4:05Speaker 3: for entertainment purposes, you know?
- 4:07Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 4:07Speaker 2: Okay.
- 4:08Speaker 1: So even, so your kids, cause we thought of this before.
- 4:10Speaker 1: I just felt like, so how you feel about your
- 4:12Speaker 1: kids working a job? Um, I mean, if he wants
- 4:18Speaker 1: to cool, I think life will be that out of
- 4:20Speaker 1: him anyway, though. But I also to like, I just
- 4:23Speaker 1: got a very interesting viewpoint of seeing like what we've
- 4:26Speaker 1: been able to build. They don't want to like Xander
- 4:29Speaker 1: don't want to go.
- 4:30Speaker 3: Work at Zaxby's or wherever. Like he's seeing what we're
- 4:34Speaker 3: able to create. And then also invested for him. Like
- 4:37Speaker 3: Xander has been able to see me like grow. He
- 4:39Speaker 3: has his own money. He sees what is in the account.
- 4:42Speaker 3: Like now he's all in on basketball. I'm like, whatever
- 4:44Speaker 3: you want to do, just be great at that. Um,
- 4:48Speaker 3: So I think we should push our kids to be
- 4:50Speaker 3: the best that they want to be, whatever.
- 4:52Speaker 2: They choose to be.
- 4:53Speaker 3: But you can't push your kid to be great at
- 4:55Speaker 3: something if you're not doing it yourself.
- 4:58Speaker 1: I feel like kids, if you're building a business, the
- 5:04Speaker 1: first option should be the kid that works in your business.
- 5:08Speaker 2: Absolutely.
- 5:09Speaker 1: Now, if they want to just go off and do
- 5:11Speaker 1: something random on their own, you can't control it.
- 5:13Speaker 2: Work at GameStop. Yeah, you can't control that.
- 5:15Speaker 1: But it's embarrassing.
- 5:17Speaker 2: Big facts.
- 5:19Speaker 1: It's embarrassing. It's like, man, I had to tell that
- 5:22Speaker 1: to my son. Why would you do that? Why are
- 5:27Speaker 1: you doing that? Why would you want to do that?
- 5:29Speaker 3: You got to have them hard talks and got them.
- 5:31Speaker 3: You got an opportunity to do this.
- 5:35Speaker 1: Because oftentimes it's just like you might get influenced by
- 5:39Speaker 1: friends or different situations, but it's like if your father
- 5:43Speaker 1: has sacrificed everything to have something Well, that should be
- 5:48Speaker 1: your first thing, right? You should just at least ask.
- 5:52Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 5:54Speaker 1: It might not be an opportunity for you, but just ask.
- 5:57Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 5:57Speaker 3: But I think the parents also have to make provision
- 5:59Speaker 3: for them to teach them early so that they can
- 6:02Speaker 3: work in the business. Because I think a lot of
- 6:04Speaker 3: times parents wait too late and put so much time
- 6:06Speaker 3: into the business. The kid's 14, 15. I'm like, well,
- 6:08Speaker 3: you didn't teach him nothing from five to 14.
- 6:10Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 6:11Speaker 3: Like you got to make the time for them to
- 6:13Speaker 3: have the time to help build them.
- 6:15Speaker 2: So.
- 6:15Speaker 1: But as far as relationships, when I was a financial advisor,
- 6:18Speaker 1: I used to talk to couples all the time. I
- 6:20Speaker 1: think you start the conversations early in dating process as
- 6:23Speaker 1: far as what's your views on entrepreneurship? How's your credit?
- 6:28Speaker 1: Have you invested? Are you into investing? These are conversations
- 6:35Speaker 1: that you have to have because there's a lot of
- 6:39Speaker 1: different things that you have to be compatible with.
- 6:42Speaker 2: Absolutely.
- 6:42Speaker 1: You have to be compatible with somebody as far as
- 6:44Speaker 1: their personality. You have to be sexually compatible with somebody,
- 6:47Speaker 1: but you also have to be financially compatible with somebody.
- 6:50Speaker 1: And that's not talked about enough. Like a lot of
- 6:52Speaker 1: times we're not financially compatible with somebody and we never
- 6:56Speaker 1: really even know that until it's too late. Until you're
- 6:59Speaker 1: like married and it's like, oh damn. Cause that's, it's irritating.
- 7:02Speaker 1: If you with somebody and they're not paying their bills
- 7:04Speaker 1: on time or they always late to do stuff or
- 7:07Speaker 1: they never, they never want to save any money. And
- 7:10Speaker 1: it's like, that's, it's annoying. Yeah.
- 7:14Speaker 3: Um so what questions should you ask to know if
- 7:16Speaker 3: you guys are financially compatible.
- 7:19Speaker 1: All those things like you know as far as what's
- 7:21Speaker 1: your views on on saving money right do you invest
- 7:25Speaker 1: into your 401k you save for your retirement have you
- 7:27Speaker 1: invested in money into the stock market um are you
- 7:30Speaker 1: interested in in real estate what do you want to
- 7:34Speaker 1: buy a home or do you want to rent yeah
- 7:36Speaker 1: um what's your what's your credit score have you worked
- 7:38Speaker 1: on getting a better credit score like These conversations that
- 7:41Speaker 1: we have all the time on these platforms, Market Mondays
- 7:44Speaker 1: or Earn Your Leisure, right? And not to say that
- 7:46Speaker 1: somebody has to be perfect. They don't have to have
- 7:49Speaker 1: like a non-800 credit score. They don't have to have
- 7:53Speaker 1: a million dollars in the stock market. They can have
- 7:55Speaker 1: a bad credit, but they might be interested. Like, well,
- 7:58Speaker 1: I haven't started investing yet, but I've been watching Market
- 8:02Speaker 1: Mondays and I've been saving my money and I want
- 8:04Speaker 1: to start next year. I'm going to start putting $ 100
- 8:06Speaker 1: to the stock market. I'll let you know that they
- 8:09Speaker 1: got the right mindset. Or as opposed to them saying,
- 8:13Speaker 1: investing is a scam. I ain't doing none of that.
- 8:17Speaker 1: I'm not saving no money. I'll put my money under
- 8:20Speaker 1: the mattress. And that doesn't make them a bad person.
- 8:23Speaker 2: It's not a good thing.
- 8:24Speaker 1: But it might not be financially compatible with you. Because
- 8:28Speaker 1: it's like, the worst thing you could do is be
- 8:29Speaker 1: in a relationship with somebody and they're completely opposite. That
- 8:32Speaker 1: shit sucks, yo. It's like now you're a parent. You
- 8:36Speaker 1: got to remind them to pay their bills.
- 8:39Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:40Speaker 1: Because they always forget to pay their bills and then
- 8:42Speaker 1: they're always late. You got to put money away from
- 8:45Speaker 1: them because they don't, you got to take money out
- 8:47Speaker 1: of their paycheck and save it for them.
- 8:49Speaker 2: Right?
- 8:50Speaker 1: Like these are things that I think you just got
- 8:51Speaker 1: to be. And that one bank account for two people
- 8:55Speaker 1: shit is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
- 8:57Speaker 2: Why? Why do you think that? Because. Okay. Okay.
- 9:03Speaker 3: So if y'all in a relationship, did she get access
- 9:05Speaker 3: to one of the bank accounts or not?
- 9:07Speaker 1: Here's my, here's my thing. Here's my thing with this.
- 9:10Speaker 1: In a marriage.
- 9:11Speaker 2: Yep.
- 9:11Speaker 1: I think we should have my bank account. This is
- 9:15Speaker 1: my personal bank account. Your personal bank account.
- 9:18Speaker 2: Yep. And we got a joint.
- 9:19Speaker 1: And a joint family account. That's fire. The joint family
- 9:22Speaker 1: account goes to groceries. We pay bills. We do whatever
- 9:26Speaker 1: we want. And that's a joint. How much money is
- 9:29Speaker 1: allocated to that? We could decide how much money we're
- 9:31Speaker 1: putting into that joint bank account.
- 9:33Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 9:34Speaker 1: But that of one bank account.
- 9:38Speaker 2: Everything going into one. No. Everything?
- 9:41Speaker 1: Well, I'm not doing that. No way. No way, no.
- 9:44Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. No way. You guys doing that?
- 9:47Speaker 1: Are you guys putting it in chat? Are you guys?
- 9:49Speaker 3: Please don't, because if they run off to take that money, it's.
- 9:54Speaker 2: Broke boy behavior.
- 9:56Speaker 1: What?
- 9:57Speaker 2: One account.
- 9:58Speaker 1: Well, some people know by now. lot of times a
- 10:01Speaker 1: woman will push for that because they're saying it's a
- 10:03Speaker 1: trust thing. If we're one, if two people are coming
- 10:07Speaker 1: together to be one, everything is one, including one bank account.
- 10:12Speaker 1: I need to see the money. Your money is my money,
- 10:15Speaker 1: so why not put it together for one And here's
- 10:21Speaker 1: the thing. I'm not even explaining. If I got to
- 10:23Speaker 1: explain that to you, I'm not explaining. I'm not explaining
- 10:27Speaker 1: why I'm not doing one bank account. I'm just saying
- 10:29Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. If I have to explain to
- 10:31Speaker 1: you why I don't want to put every single dollar
- 10:34Speaker 1: I have into one bank account with you, you're not
- 10:37Speaker 1: the right person for me.
- 10:39Speaker 2: Okay. So harsh message with kind tone. That's what I'm
- 10:42Speaker 2: not doing. You're good. Yeah.
- 10:44Speaker 1: There's no explanation. We got to normalize, stop explaining things.
- 10:50Speaker 1: Normalize no explanation. Certain things don't need to be said.
- 10:53Speaker 1: There's no explanation. Why are you doing this? Because I
- 10:55Speaker 1: just think this is the right thing to do. I'm
- 10:57Speaker 1: not explaining why. No, I'm not giving you an explanation.