Latest / Messy Minded Mama / Episode 21 - August Reset: Holding On, Letting Go & Starting Fresh

Transcript

Episode 21 - August Reset: Holding On, Letting Go & Starting Fresh · Messy Minded Mama

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Messy Minded Mama, a podcast for moms who look managed but might feel a bit messy on the inside.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Kate.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Jen.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And we are here creating space for real talk about motherhood, mental health, and the invisible load so many women carry.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Messy Minded Mama.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It has been a minute.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it is August.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: How is it August?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: We have recorded together in the same room all summer, I think.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: We've had to be virtual or yeah, or just with someone else.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Alyssa filled in and did a great job on that episode when I was gone.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I cannot believe it's August.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think today is really maybe just for us, just to do some catching up, looking back on summer, not sure where it went.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And for us in Colorado at least, and a lot of people on maybe this side of the country, we are school prepping.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We are getting ready to go back to school in like two weeks.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I cannot even believe that.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can't either.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why we start so early at A compared to I have family East Coast.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, we don't start till September.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, we go back in a week and a half, which is crazy to me.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: How do you feel about the start of school coming?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So very mixed emotions and feelings.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like, like kind of sadly, I've been wishing away the summer because it's been just feels like chaotic, not a lot of routine, which I usually thrive in, but for whatever reason, the summer, I think work schedule being more consistent and everything else being less consistent has me really wanting routine back in my life.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I am very ready for school to start for the routine aspect.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we'll obviously miss kind of just our random days where we can go do whatever we want.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: So mixed emotions, but bring it on already.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I feel the same.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's this balance of I really wanted time this summer with the kids and to go do all the fun things.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I had my own transition of leaving the job and starting some of my own stuff.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought by leaving that job, I was going to have all this glorious time this summer, and I feel like I'm still trying to piece things together, and I need the school year to start for my kids to have a little more structure, for me to have the structure because again, I just feel like it's all pieced together and not consistent, which I have a hard time with as well.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think consistency will be nice, and having soon enough, five days in a row of me being able to get the kids out the door and then coming home to focus on whatever that day looks like.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am looking forward to that.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, I feel like I have maybe two days a week that I really get like that time and a whole day to myself.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's full of all the other things that need to get done.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: So having five days in a row feels like a nice little treat.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: I feel that I'm also gonna miss the Friday pool days, though.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like, or the lake days.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: We've had some of those together.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: I've done quite a few of them.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Those have been some of my favorite.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I really embraced the outside time this summer, and I'm really gonna miss those times with the kids to just be outside, have a lot of play time, but I guess I can go do it by myself.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: We will have our own little play dates.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we'll just build in our business meetings wherever we need to.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Love that to keep that going.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm with you though.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like Fridays have been my designated like very slow morning, slow start, like figure out what we want to do for the day and then go.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it usually does involve pool or lake or something around the water.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I am gonna miss the slow Fridays.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: It would be nice.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: A four-day school week would probably be ideal.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my ultimate dream.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think I think the kids would agree.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Four-day school week, three-day weekend.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we call them family days instead of just weekend.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, what days?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: They were like family day.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think they would agree with that four-day, three-day split.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm definitely gonna miss the Friday fun days for sure.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm also really looking forward to, like we said, that that structure, some space, maybe less stimulation in some aspects because I feel like it's been chaos.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: I agree, and I I'm not quite sure why.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't put my finger on why it feels more chaotic than last summer did, but definitely the word of the summer, I feel like has been chaos.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, good chaos.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes a little yeah, chaosy chaos.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to describe it.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Just chaos, but too much chaos, too much chaos, yeah.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: What's been what's been one of the highs for the summer?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are we talking about what we would miss, but what is something that you're like, this was a good summer moment.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So Friday mornings for sure, my slow Fridays.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have been committed to that.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think I talked about it when we did like our prep into the like summer of what that looked like, and I have very much leaned into that.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: One day a week is kind of all I get, but Fridays.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Highlight for me though is like our summer vacay, which I feel like everyone can say that, but we had such a special time with Tyler's family and some close friends of ours back east.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We were in Boston, we were in Rhode Island.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we got a couple days in the city in Boston with just the four of us where we got to show the kids where we used to live when we lived back there.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: We went to a Red Sox game at Finway, got to experience that and just sorry, Yankees fans.
• 5:42
  unknown: I know.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: No offense, but we love the Red Sox.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, walking around Charles River.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, just all these things that Tyler and I used to do together pre-kids, and then Jack was born there.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So showing him a little bit of like, you know, you were only seven months old when you lived here, but getting to do that again and kind of relive those glory days with the kids was a highlight for sure.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So much fun.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: I love there's history there, there's emotion there, but just fun and getting to fully disconnect.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: I get to turn off all the things totally and just be present with my family.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was hardly on my phone like that whole week, which I know.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was waiting for text messages back.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where did she go?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, I disappeared I full on disappeared for a week and it felt so good.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: I guess it's fair because as we have talked about, I am the worst about texting people back.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So there's forgiveness that can happen.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: How about were you?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I there's a couple different ones, but one of my highlights was working, it's work, but I was working a horse camp that Bryn got to come to.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I had a full week outside with Brynn.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's other kids there too, but outside with Brynn with horses.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it was hot, but it was really fun for me.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think she had fun.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure she was sick of me by the end of the week, but we just had a really nice time of both being kind of in our happy place.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then the other part was just the amount of like lake days and paddle boarding.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: We went to Avon as a family, which is tradition for us.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Played at the park.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: We went to uh like 4th of July festival and got to see some live music, which Sawyer really?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she was like dancing around.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll just show you a video.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: She was dancing around and she just had the best time, like having the music and the people that really energizes her.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: So watching both kids kind of be in their element in different ways, yeah.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: That was for sure my highlight.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I can picture little Sawyer dancing around to the music.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: I have a video I will have to show you because it's she's literally just like jumping, jumping, jumping, dancing, dancing, and it's so cute.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: So that was definitely that's definitely part of it.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Was there anything that you found challenging about the summer other than lack of structure?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think you and I have both like structure, structured, but what else might have been like kind of challenging?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So all the listeners are gonna be like, why can't this woman ever get her kids where they're supposed to be?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: But honestly, like still getting my both kids in the same place, and I realized this summer like how much responsibility my older kiddo takes on when we're not there.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it's towards the end of summer, so just in the last couple weeks, trying to drop off both Jack and Elle at the same place, and Elle starting to cry because she doesn't want to go, and then Jack's starting to cry, and I'm like, it's pretty uncommon for him to be the one upset.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: So really having like deeper conversations with him, trying to get to like what's underneath that, and him saying, Well, I get really upset when she's upset, and then I have to feel like I have to take care of her, and when I have to take care of her, then I can't go do the things I want to do and play with my friends.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: So he was actually like he was like setting aside his friendships and being like, I can't play right now because I need to take care of my little sister, which like so sweet, but also like why does he have to carry that?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: So in the last couple weeks, when this has come up, I've asked Jack, do you want to stay at camp today and play?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do as long as long as she's not here, basically.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, okay.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, Elle, do you want to go home with mommy today?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, and then that's what we do.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels really good to give Jack that permission to just go play with his friends, yeah, reduce that responsibility that I don't want him to carry anyway.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then I honestly didn't know like how much he was carrying after I walked away from drop-off, right?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And just kind of left.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: No, I thought she was fine because most of the time she was, but then if she'd cry later, he's like taking on that responsibility.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So hard moments for us is drop-off still.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But then I don't know, like good lessons learned of like actually being able to give Jack this freedom to just go be a kid and not have that responsibility.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then Elle comes with me, and most of the time we make that work just fine.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So um, interesting learnings over the summer, yeah.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And oh my gosh, what a sweet soul, Jack.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like wants to caretake his little sister, which is so sweet.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I love that you gave each kid what they needed, and that it was okay to make that different plan.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard sometimes when you're like, I actually need you to go to the place that I'm paying for you to go, whether you go or not.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but also to say, like, I'm recognizing that today is a harder day, and we all have these feelings.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like we were just talking, there's days that we don't necessarily want to have to do the things we're supposed to do.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so you're giving each of them the opportunity to lean into what they need and want.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's really challenging from a parent level, but also really kind in teaching them it is okay to listen to that inner voice.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and helps, I think, as I like fast forward and think about even this school year, like when I put them both through those school doors and can't go with them, like, how do I check in with Jack to see what responsibility he might be carrying that I'm not aware of?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And even fast-forwarding to like next summer, maybe we do as Elle gets older, like do camps that she's interested in versus putting them in the same place um and starting to separate once they have kind of their own interests a little bit more.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, it's they're getting older and we're living and learning, but that was like a challenging moment, but a good again lesson learned.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're only uh however many year old parents, totally seven, right?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, seven-year-old parents.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: We are learning together.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, it's we can only we only know what we know, and the rest of it we kind of have to roll with the punches.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: So totally, yeah.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: We we only had a couple bad drop-off days.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um like it's really uncommon for Bryn.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think she, when she doesn't sleep, as we all myself included, get like emotions are heightened.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: And we had a couple days of like clinging to me, please don't leave.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then she was fine.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I kind of hid and watched, and she had a snack.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: She's fine, maybe she was hungry.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: But those drop-offs, when when they are having those feelings, it feels awful to still leave them.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, it's like I like this is an okay place, it's safe.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, but obviously, they don't feel that in the moment.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so walking away, I remember it was like two weeks ago.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: I walked to the car and I was just crying, praying that no parent I knew was walking up the other direction to see me because she was having such a hard time, and it was a day that I had to be out in the community and she couldn't be with me, and it just it's heartbreaking.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, those, yeah, those days can be so heartbreaking as a mom or dad to have to like walk away from your kiddos when they're sad.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'm like, just don't.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: If I just don't look back, then I don't know.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: But then I also have the guilt of like, oh, but I should have just looked back because then I wouldn't know.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's hard to it's hard to figure out what you need to do in those moments.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, such an awful balance.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: But we have, I will say almost.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: We have almost made it through summer.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: We have a week and a half left.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, how how are we feeling about school years?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so maybe you start.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's this component of kids and then me.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, how do I feel for them?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's start with kids.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like for the kids, so Elle's going into first grade.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Her best, best, best friend from last year will not be going to the same school anymore.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and she knows this.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: She's been prepared since like end of last year that he is going to a different school.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but she I think is really nervous about who's gonna be in her class and who are gonna be her friends.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I am therefore very nervous for her and just want her to have at least like one kiddo.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: She knows a lot from her daycare that go there.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, just give her one kid in her class that she knows that she can feel comfortable with day one.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of my wish, I guess, for Elle is that she settles right in very comfortably.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for Jack, I'm Jack's kind of like my social go with the flow.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um second grade feels like very excited for it, so I'm less nervous about that for him.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: But if I think about, I guess I I'm tapping into like the fear side, but if I think about like fears for him, it's just kids being nice, right?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like just wanting kids to be friendly and kind and accept my kiddos for who they are, I guess is like a hope that I have for them.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I feel that Bryn is changing schools this year going into second grade, and she knows some of the kids from different activities or camps, but she has a lot of anxiety around starting a new school.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: She also wants to really start the new school, so it's this balance for her.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: I really hate that the school doesn't send your teacher till like two days before you start.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like that would help her have some preparation, but we got an email that it doesn't come out until like two days before.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Which is really I find really frustrating.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so we luckily were able to connect with another mom that has kids going into that same grade.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: And um, she's so kind, she's like, come over, we'll all walk together.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And they've already been like introduced, so that's been really great.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm nervous for her because her first two years of school were hard.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she had a really hard time, and so I'm really hoping this change will be good for her.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: So she has anxiety, I have anxiety about what it's gonna look like.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I'm really hoping that this change is good for her.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: The hours are better for us.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, she's not a morning person, she is not like me.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I want to sleep till nine.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so the out it starts later and it gets out later, which I think will be really helpful because the ones that end at 2 30 are like, find me a parent that stops working at 2 30.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's impossible.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then child aftercare is so expensive.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: So how anyway, that's a whole separate issue.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is a whole separate issue.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: But this school has um different hours and they have some different aftercare opportunities for her, which I think is really nice.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: So she's excited about some of those, and then Sawyer's continuing.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: She's going into pre-K, she's continuing into the school that she's been at for years.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I already know she has a friend in her class.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: So she's excited.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: She's excited.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: I she's she's like, I don't want to keep going to the same place because Bryn's going somewhere new.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: So it's balancing, like it's the same place but a different classroom.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: And she's really excited.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: She's also my social like no fear, says hello.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: She hugs everybody.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: Love her hugs, yep.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: She's everybody, no matter what.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: So she I think she's gonna be just fine.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I really, you know, start of the year is always hard of like what is it gonna look like for them?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Are they gonna make connections?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but then for me, like starting the school year, it's like back into finding routine.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: We just talked about like we have our different wake-up times and pickup times.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, how do I structure my schedule?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what goes in the dang backpacks, how many lunches am I packing?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like all of those pieces, I think, like raise up just my mental load, which sometimes raises uh anxiety because I'm navigating all the newness of a school year.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think, and Brian, I think giving that space for her minute, I'm curious like what her anxiety sounds like.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is she telling you about her nerves for going to like a new school?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's like who's gonna be in my class, right?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, she doesn't come and say, like, mommy, I'm anxious, right?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, do you know who my teacher is?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Who's gonna be in my class?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: What time are you picking me up?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: What days do I have this?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what door do I go?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: All of these things.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, even if we've talked about it, it's coming up.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot of reprocessing, out loud processing.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then you can just kind of see it on her face too when she talks about it.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: She like half smiles, half like you can see the thinking.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so she'll say, like, I'm nervous, you know, like I'm nervous of not having friends in that class.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll talk about here's who's in the school, and you'll see them at these times if they're not in class.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: But again, knowing who's in the class would be really helpful because I have parents' phone numbers, and I could ask them if the school would tell us.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: I remember like it coming out mid-summer when I was a kid and riding my bike down to the school because they used to post it.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: On a piece of paper, like at the local, yeah, at the elementary school.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was posted on a piece of paper, and you would like ride your bike down at school, see who's in your class, and then go home and call them on your landline.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I totally forgot that was a thing, and that was so cool.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're right, it's like the mom group chat gets started like that day.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think we find out the week before, um, maybe a week and a half before, yeah.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for ours, which that timing feels better than like the two days for sure.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just two days when she's trying to navigate the new school.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, so she it definitely looks just a lot of like questions and processing because one, she's curious, but having the information helps calm her down.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we're definitely trying to plan the best we can.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: We had to restructure some of my workday and some of Taylor's workday because I can't pick up every day.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: I have to be able to have you know two days a week.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so what days fit in his unpredictable schedule was really hard.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: So we're trying to navigate that.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: We have some friends that also have kids that go there that were like maybe we can work out a carpool occasionally.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll see.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: I my biggest hope, I think, for both of them, and maybe even myself, thinking about all the transitions I've gone through and or going through is I think really confidence.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, confidence for themselves, confidence in themselves, some self-trust.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: So for me of some self-trust in that, like everything I've been building, yeah, and everything we're building together as like a family with these changes is gonna go well.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that, and that brings up one thing.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been talking a lot lately in my house about like we have one life to live and like how to live it to our fullest.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the kids love it, they're like, one life to live, like they'll walk around saying it all the time.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, to me, I keep trying to instill this lesson in them like you have one life to live, and so you surround yourself by people that are kind, right?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like you get to choose who you are around and who you want to like give your energy to.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just trying, like at this young age, to teach them that it's not worth trying to be friends with the kid that isn't being kind to you.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: So trying to like use that.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I love the confidence thing because I think that comes up and just like what I'm trying to instill in them is like they are empowered to make their own choices, their own decisions.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am trying to teach my kids to be kind every day.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: I know they're not always right, like the kids are kids, but I think trying to instill that in them and empower them to like one life to live.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: You make your choices.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we gotta make some t-shirts.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously, yes.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: One life to live.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: What's what's maybe a hope for yourself, right?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Of like one life to live as a family and like something you're building.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have something for you know the next however many months?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm bad at math.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Four months that we have in the year of like this this August isn't really like a fresh start, right?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: But it does sometimes feel like New Year's.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: It does totally like what are our resolutions for the school year?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because you're right, like it changes.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: We get the routine back, we get certain things that we maybe didn't have over the summertime.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think for me, it's I've been striving really hard for this like work life balance, yeah, and I know that I haven't been great about it.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's it's one thing when you're working like the eight to five job and and maybe you're out of the house for that eight to five and then you can kind of like shut off.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten really bad of like not shutting off.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I will I will stay up really late at night and just creative energy and just like be working on stuff.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I do love that.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't necessarily want to change that, but I want to keep an eye on okay, am I really I went after this career for a reason, you know, multifaceted reasons, but like I went after this for a reason.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: Am I staying true to that?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I think just really trying to focus on staying true to the work-life balance, shut it off when I feel like I want to for my family, put that phone down, right?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like be a little bit more um conscious of like this is the energy I want to give and this is where I'm gonna invest it, um, and hold myself to that.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think would be really nice.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my hope as we get back into routine.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And the creative energy, we can't always control when it comes, right?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's two in the morning, and sometimes it's staying up late, sometimes it's first thing in the morning, but being able to lean into that, but also recognizing like I have it and I want to lean into it, and I need to have that time to stop and to re-engage into the life side.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's really hard sometimes when your passions uh line up with the creativity because you're like, oh, I'm feeling really good in my life.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: But some of that is because we get that that pull from the passions and the creativity that show up in the work side, which is really beautiful in so many ways, but also I think creates a harder boundary to set when you're trying to find separation between work and life.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that balancing act is not yet perfected, but working on just doing better with it in general.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: All works in progress, yeah, for sure.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think my biggest I'm laughing because of a conversation that happened previously.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: But one of my biggest things is really trying to set boundaries and not overcommit because I'm really good at hearing something or someone's like, you should join this or you should do this.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah, I'll be there.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've got this.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure it was you that was like, you don't need to do another thing.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, which is so true.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because I I have a lot of interest, but I also sometimes have some people-pleasing behaviors, or sometimes just like, oh, what would it look like if I took that on?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I need to process what it looks like, but actually being able to come to the place of like no.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of my goal.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, is being able to kind of stay in the lanes that I've created.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, maybe tiny divergence when it makes sense, when it makes sense and when it fits, but not overcommitting, yeah, and then losing sight of all the things that I've been trying really hard to build and protecting that peace, that work-life balance, but not overcommitting into things that are now taking away from the things that I have found so much passion in.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and that rings so true for me too.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think we can be accountability partners here of holding each other like to that because I'm the same way, and I do think I, yeah, because of the, I don't know, the passion, the creative energy, all the things.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, well, I want to focus on this and that and the other.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, my husband, love him, always it's like, okay, which but which direction are we going?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, I'm sorry if I can't keep track of this idea because you just told me 10 more the, you know, the other day.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, I, yeah, thank you for saying that.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because then I'm like, okay, you're right.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I need to calm down.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I need to calm down sometimes and just stay really focused on what's right in front of me.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think Taylor and Tyler were on the same wavelength the last few weeks because we both had conversations with our husbands where they asked in nice ways.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: The nicest way, but the nicest way, the most supportive way possible, but kind of like, what are we doing?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: What direction are we going in?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Where are we spending our energy?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And not because they don't support all of the things that we're trying to do, but because they want to make sure as we have worked hard to build what we're building, right?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: That we're also protecting it, which I appreciate.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: But also I get a little defensive.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: I do too.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what do you mean?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Where's this question coming from?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: What's underlying that?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have more you want to say?
• 26:27
  unknown: Yes.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's so true.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: We need it though.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I think they just know that about us, and it's all it's all well intended for sure.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: We'll have to start like an approval process before we take on any new things.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: All our ideas go through them.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Stamp of approval.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: All four people have to sign off.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's hilarious.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is real life we're living over here.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I guess like going into that of like what's protecting our peace and all of that.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Are there things, I'm curious, are there things that you guys do in your house that makes school year or mornings of the school year, afternoons, anything easier for you?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, flat no.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to say yes.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like we are a pack the backpack before we are like have lunch ready to go, we pick out our clothes, but no, we do not do any of that.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: But it works for us.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: I I do thrive in chaos, and I my husband does not, but he's not home in the morning.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: So when it's my mornings, I can thrive in like digging through baskets, trying to find something, finding one shoe in the living room and one in the bedroom, whatever.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can live like that, and it is and it works okay for us.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, no, yeah, we don't make life easier, we just run around.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: We just roll with what exists.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: We do, yes, yeah, but it's also because I don't want to put the energy into the nighttime, so maybe that's where it's at.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe my I just want evenings to be relaxing, and I do feel like I don't want to worry about all that stuff at night.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: I would rather focus on it in the morning and just start off my day, get them out the door, and then come home and like decalm down.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope I'm not raising like anxious children because of that.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I am, I think they're doing just fine, but that's probably why I want to protect my evenings.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: I feel that.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: I have always said in the back of my mind, right, of that, like sometimes the comparison pops in when I see someone pack this like beautiful lunch the night before, and the clothes are laid out and the backpacks are laid out and packed.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I would love to do that.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then it doesn't happen because I can't fathom adding in another thing in the evening.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, we do a lot of activities, we do a lot of sports, I like my downtime, and I am like what I pack for lunch in their lunchbox today is not gonna be what they want to eat tomorrow.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm gonna hear about it.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I just adding an extra task in in the evening feels so much harder for me than the chaos of the morning.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and my child, Bryn, she is like, she has a list in the morning.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Layout, that's what we do.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: She made her own list because I didn't have one.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: So she wrote a good morning list and a good night list for herself, and it's like brush your teeth, brush your hair, get dressed, put on my shoes.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like she goes down and she ticks every single one of them.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: So she's better prepared at seven than I am at 30, whatever I am.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so she, yeah, but we also don't have like we don't have any of that.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even drink my coffee before my kids are awake.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: I drink my coffee after they're at school, usually, because that is my quiet time.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Would I probably be a nicer human in the morning if I had coffee first?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: But I can't wait to go get Starbucks.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then come back.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a solution in there somewhere of making coffee at home, which I'm sure my husband would say I need to do, but I also feel like there's so much realness here of I know, I know who I am at this point.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know what works for me.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like this, like trying to put in this new routine that I know I'm not gonna be able to stick with because I'm gonna get bored of it or tired or it's just gonna become too much.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want any part of that.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I think there's this piece of this that again, going back to like if it works for your family, if it works for you, if it's not broken, don't fix it, right?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: This this is what works for us.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think there is something in the Saturday, Sunday, somewhere in the weekend, I'll do like a check of like what snacks do we have, what stuff do I have for lunch, what does the lunch menu look like?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like I do some preparation on the weekend to prepare myself for the week, but I am not doing an everyday preparation for that what's ahead the next day.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I also love what you said about like it's the realness, this is what works, and adding in the other things, sometimes, yes, the small changes can be helpful, but also it can add pressure.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it's this balance of what small change feels conducive to what I'm trying to build and why, what's the intention behind it?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And is it sustainable?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is it realistic?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or am I just putting pressure on myself and then I'm gonna be mad at myself?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I said, the the lunchbox the night before and all that.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: That adds pressure to me.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then if I don't do it, I feel awful because I set this goal that probably wasn't realistic for myself.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and now I feel bad, and then I spiral into the fact that I feel bad, and then it just doesn't happen anyway, and I'm right back where I started.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I can skip that low by just saying, This is what works, this works better for me, even though it might look like chaos to someone that shows up, and please don't ever show up unannounced at my house on a weekday morning, but it might look chaos to somebody that's walking in.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that's okay because it's my chaos that works for me.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: So totally, and I love that loop that you just talked about, right?
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because we've all been there, I'm sure.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Every one of us has done exactly what you just described of finding ourselves like, maybe I should do this, maybe it'll be sustainable, maybe it'll oh no.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, oh no, here I am.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm drawing a loop right now of like this is what we find ourselves in.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like it can be cyclical and and not helpful.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I do think giving ourselves that talk once in a while of like, is this something I really want to be doing, or and do I feel like this is sustainable and necessary or not?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: And why am I doing it?
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think the why, the intentionality is something I've really tried to lean into through summer of not just doing things because I should, yeah, but what where should come from?
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: Should is an expectation.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: So where did that expectation come from?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: Did I put it on myself?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: Is it because all the wonderful Instagram reels that I watch are showing me that this is what people are doing, and so I feel like I should.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you can get truly inspired and you're like, I love this idea, yeah, I'm gonna try it.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: The intention behind that is trying something new.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but if I'm doing something with the intention of, oh, I want to fully upheave everything I'm doing because I'm comparing myself, that's different.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so really trying to be intentional with every decision I make, every act I'm making, everything I'm giving energy to has really been my focus since the end of May, and something I'm really gonna try to carry forward.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes the intention is chaos.
• 33:42
  unknown: Yep.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love, I think about when I think about carrying things forward, it's like even though we're getting back to school and routine and we have like a set schedule, slowing down in the mornings is something I'm gonna try to carry forward too.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like last year, part way through the year, we decided to stop using the bus and just I take the kids for drop off.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what I didn't realize it could give me, and now I'm like, yes, I just got like 25 minutes back in my day.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: In the mornings, which is so crucial when you're wanting just to like not rush out of the house and be able to like sit down and like feed your kids a nice breakfast and all the things.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we we're probably not gonna do the bus again.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do drop off at the school every day, yeah, and build that in so that we can kind of like intentionally carry forward at least a little bit of a slower morning.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love that too.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think I have found this the slower mornings, right?
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's still chaos, but it's less chaos when they can kind of wake up and have a few minutes of time before I'm like, hey, we have to get up and we have to go.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: And last school year that meant like I had to wake them up earlier, which just meant Bryn in particular was grumpier, yep, because she had to get up early.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sawyer wakes up at 4:30 every morning no matter what.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: So she's just up and ready to go ready to go.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: But to give time to say, like, hey, wake up, we have some time, go ahead and do your morning routine that works for you.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: Sawyer likes to lay in bed and eat her bed snack, as she calls it, and you know, have some quiet time for her, and then she I help her get dressed, Bryn gets herself ready through her routine, and then they come downstairs and again I can give them a breakfast.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: I won't dare I say I cook breakfast because that'd be inaccurate, but I heat something up for breakfast, right?
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: And they get some breakfast, we get some conversation in time, and it kind of becomes our space.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: And there is probably like panic about where a shoe is or where's this one shirt, or can you brush my hair?
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then the screaming that happens because the hair is being brushed, yeah, because oh my goodness.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: But the slow mornings is also something that I've really enjoyed this summer that I want to carry forward, and I don't know.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of like my only big the intention, yep, and slow.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think not making it more than it needs to be every day, but really just like settling into what works, I think is where I'm at too.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything that you did last school year that you're like hands clean, I'm done.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're not doing that, letting go of this.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I have permission to do this yet.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think this will be a next year thing, but volunteering like almost too much in the classroom.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: So the overcommitting that I'm getting rid of yeah, also so Elle wants me to volunteer to be her um room parent because I was Jack's room parent last year.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, I loved it, but I was like, oh, having back-to-back years doing that because it's like any little thing that comes up in the classroom, they lean on the room parent for not just like the planned events, but like anything random that pops up I got called for.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I will be hopefully taking that on one more year for Elle's sake, and then next year I plan to let that go.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: I I also kudos to you.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was room parent one year, uh Kinder, yeah, and I I don't know that it was clearly communicated how much it actually is.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it is a lot, yeah.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so I said for first grade, and we'll see, new school.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, right?
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: There was the whole like join the PTA, and this is where I was at, because I mean, right?
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do I, do I not?
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Do I, do I not?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: I did not yet.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about that later.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's because it's a new school and I want to be involved.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_01: I also think like saying this is where I'm at and this is what I can take on, and what's my capacity?
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_01: And can I be involved in a level that meets my capacity?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, which maybe means assisting the room parent for me and not being the room parent.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: But it's hard.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: I know Elle has her expectations, so you're very kind for leaning into it.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, I am gonna try to do that for you.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I yes, I don't get me wrong, I love like time in the classroom.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get it like that often, the chance to be in there, but I am looking forward to the like something pops up and I get a volunteer to do it versus just kind of being the fully assigned person to do it all year.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think that kind of takes us to the end of today.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: But we spent a lot of time today talking about intention setting and living aligned lives.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so we do have an event coming up.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: We do that's virtual.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: So all of our friends from across the, I don't want to say globe because the timing might be weird if you live overseas, but our friends across the country, you can come.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: You just might be awake at two in the morning.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: But our friends across the country could come.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yes, I'm so excited.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: So we've also talked a lot, I think, on other episodes about being values-based therapists and how values is just something that we feel very strongly about and that we bring into the therapy room when we are with our clients, but also just in our lives, it's something we're very passionate about, too.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is an opportunity for anyone who wants to to join us for a value sort night.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: We are gonna keep it fun.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: We are just gonna ask everyone to come cozy and however you want to show up with some snacks and beverages, whatever you want to bring, and just come join us for a nice little value sort from the comfort of your house, and we will walk you through it and get a chance for you to experience kind of what that's like for yourself.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a fun thing to do, and it really helps you identify what is most important to you in this season.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because your values can change over time.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's most important to you in this season?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: You will get mailed to you a little snack pack from us and also custom cards that you can sort yourself in front of you instead of doing it online.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: That later, if you're ever like, ooh, have my value shifted, or I'm feeling maybe not as aligned with myself as what I want to be, you can take them out and redo the value sort anytime.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: But we'd love for you to join our virtual event and meet some other messy minded mamas and hang out with us.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: So in the show notes, we'll link it, but it's also on our Instagram and on our website.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: Again, Instagram is at messy.minded.mama.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: Website is messymindedmama.com.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: We'd love for to see some of our friends.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's gonna be a fun night together, September 2nd.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: So we will keep you posted and we'll share the links, like Kate said.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Any final words of wisdom?
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm putting Kate on the spot here.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: Shoot.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would say your kids do not need a perfect start.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: You do not need a perfect start to have a good school year, to have a good next few months.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: So give yourself grace, do what works for yourself, and enjoy the time that you have.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I've got for today.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that, we will see you all next time.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here with us today.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: If something in this episode resonated, we're really glad you listened.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: Messy minded or not, you're not alone in this, and you don't have to have it all figured out.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to stay connected, you can follow Messy Minded Mama wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: And follow us on Instagram at messy.minded.mama.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: We'll be back to connect again soon.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for being here.