Latest / iRefresh Podcast / Praying Through Offense | EP 136

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Praying Through Offense | EP 136 · iRefresh Podcast

• 0:09
  What a pleasure it is to be here with you ladies today. Thank you. You know, today's my son's 31st birthday. I'm not sure when this will air, but so Cheryl, I think I've known you well more than 31 years, but I've been a praying mom. There's nothing like having children that ups your prayer life, right? That is so true. Yes, and I think of Jesus, he and the father, I mean, we are his children. And don't you love the fact that Jesus is still interceding for us?
• 0:39
  So even when we may not feel like we have anyone in our corner, which we do, that's a lie, right? Right. But I like to picture sometimes maybe in the dead of night when fear wants to come or discouragement, regret, whatever that would be, that Jesus is praying for me.
• 0:59
  That is such a good point because growing up in a family that did pray for me, I thought everybody had people that prayed for them. Yes. And when I found out that that is very unique and what a blessing it is, I appreciated it more. Absolutely. Didn't take it for granted. Absolutely. That's such a powerful thing. I remember when I was at ORU as a dorm director.
• 1:22
  what I would use for discipline and dealing with people that had some troubles is I would make a point of letting them know they would meet with me and I would pray for them. And so I had a list of pictures of everybody on my dorm, on my walls in the office, and then I would let them know I was praying for them because it's really behavior. There's something behind the behavior and why
• 1:45
  I was so shocked when I heard as a college student that one of these young ladies said, that is the first time that someone's ever prayed for me. Wow. That is so amazing. Wow. Amazing. It's like I'm so amazed to think now she is a prayer warrior in full-time ministry after being a teacher for over 25 years. But now just thinking, we don't know what the impact is when we pray.
• 2:12
  Cheryl, I love that you planted those seeds. And who knows? Yes. And so when we are praying for others and when they know we're praying for them, we're planting seeds. And when Jesus is praying for us, there are seeds being planted as well that we might not even know that we need. But he knows exactly what we need. That is so important. And I think of obedience.
• 2:35
  Yes. How valuable. Look at the fruit from your obedience to feel led to pray, but to also do it. Right. Because sometimes we think about praying, but then we think, oh, they'll think that's weird. Or, you know, like this particular girl didn't know, no one had ever done it before, so maybe that could get in the way. But you didn't let that stop you. You did what you knew to do. And look what God did. Yes. That's awesome. Awesome.
• 3:00
  And I love that you have pictures on the wall because you think about like how like you'd get in trouble in school and your name would be on the board, you know. So you just think, OK, you know, when when Jesus writes our name, it's not because we're in trouble. You know, he's he's praying for us. He's thinking about us. And you took the time and had their picture up there to be reminded to pray for them. But.
• 3:20
  You know, I think that's something that we all can do when we think about is how do we remember to pray for people? And then, you know, I think the Holy Spirit is so good, too, is bringing to our remembrance those that He needs us to intercede for. And I think the one thing that's great that you don't miss is when someone comes to your mind is that prompting, okay, is that someone I should pray for?
• 3:41
  And taking that moment while I'm doing whatever I'm doing, I can pray even as I'm going about my business. I can be praying for them and ask them. And if I don't know, I use my prayer language. Such an important thing that you said, Cheryl. That is so important. Because how many times do we think someone comes to our mind? And instead of just going, oh, I haven't seen them in a while, we have to stop and say, Lord, I believe you're asking me to pray. So I will stop right now, and I will pray for that person
• 4:09
  as you bring them to my remembrance. And sometimes I think about reaching out to them via text or just, you know, a quick little hello. And I'll say, I've been thinking about you praying. And almost every time they'll say, thank you for praying because I need it. I'm going through something. And I've learned over the years that, you know, God doesn't drop people in our remembrance just to say, oh, yeah, I haven't seen her in a while. There's a reason. And guess what?
• 4:37
  I'm not saying it's not the Lord, but if a name drops in our heart, why not pray for them? Right? Because if someone wants to pray for me and they know the Lord and they have God's word within them, I'm like, bring it. Absolutely. Thank you. And there's nothing quite like my mom...
• 4:57
  is 81 and my mother-in-law just turned 90 and they both go to the same church that I go to. And they, they have something called the praying grandmas group. And I mean, they, they meet together every Tuesday and they pray together for a few hours. They go in the sanctuary and they pray over those chairs and, and they all go out to lunch together, but they're known as the praying grandmas. And so there's a young woman in our church that's now joined the prayer group and
• 5:27
  And so I just think that's beautiful. It is beautiful. And that young lady, what a blessing. Yes. To have these experienced prayer warriors to teach her to pray. Yes. Yes. And you know, that says so much about her being able to just say, even though I'm not a grandma, I don't want to wait till I'm a grandma.
• 5:44
  There you go. I want to join now. Yes. Yes. That's awesome. Well, we were talking about how when the Lord drops a name in our heart and Jesus even gives us this example. He actually prayed for Simon Peter, knowing that Peter was going to betray him. But he took the time to pray for Peter.
• 6:01
  And so it says in Luke 22, 32, the Bible says, I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. So Jesus, somehow, when we talked in an earlier episode, how he often would get away to the quiet places to pray. And I wonder, as he's getting away to the quiet place to pray, knowing that the cross was before him, if the Holy Spirit was putting things on his heart and saying, hey, I'm
• 6:30
  There's going to be some difficulty ahead, and one of your besties is going to deny you. But Jesus, instead of going and berating Peter, he prayed for Peter. Oh, such a good lesson. And then he went and he talked to Peter about it. But you know, what did Peter say? I'm not going to deny you. But Jesus took the time to let him know, I've prayed for you, Simon.
• 6:54
  I don't think that Jesus prayed a prayer like when David's like, take out the enemy, take out my betrayer. I think that God, I think Jesus had such a place with the Lord that he knew the heart of Peter. It's just that Peter had a struggle. Yes. That his heart and his will...
• 7:12
  they just always were intermingled. And I think that's the hope for all of us is no matter where we're at, even in our prayer life, instead of feeling condemned, is knowing that the mercy of the goodness of God is always before us. And when you see that Jesus was so willing to do that, it helps me to be inspired to, am I willing to pray for anyone the Lord puts on my heart to pray for? That's good, Cheryl. Are we willing to pray for the unlovely?
• 7:38
  those who are not kind to us. That's what he calls us to do sometimes. Yeah, true. And I have done that begrudgingly or with the wrong attitude. Yes. And that's not really going to be a good thing for me. Yeah. Right. I mean, what a good lesson, though. You're exactly right. But it's not necessarily the easiest route. Oh, yes. Every once in a while, I'll just kind of hear the still, small voice of the Lord just almost warning me and saying, there's going to be a time ahead for offense. Yes.
• 8:08
  And almost to like prepare my heart to go like, Lord, help me to be unoffendable. And so I think about how Jesus here with Peter, it's like he was unoffendable. That's so good. To know ahead of time that he was going to be betrayed, that he was going to be denied by some of those closest to him.
• 8:28
  But to be unoffendable. I mean, even Jesus, he washed each of those disciples' feet. He washed Judas' feet. That's right. Knowing that Judas was going to betray him. And he washed Peter's feet knowing that Peter was going to deny him. So that whole thought about...
• 8:45
  being unoffendable. And I'm not saying I do it perfectly, but it's almost like every once in a while I'll get that little inkling that there's going to be a chance of offense today and be careful. That is such a good word, Carrie, because the Bible tells us that we are not to be quick to pick up offense. Yes.
• 9:02
  And to pray that, that Lord, help me to be unoffendable is such a good prayer. That is really a good lesson. That's a good scripture. When you think about it, just like that is don't pick up the offense. Right. You know that we can also do that with our friends. Right. When a friend shares an offense. Oh, sure. You know, they want you to tag team and be offended with me. Or a child.
• 9:28
  Oh. Shares an offense. You know, when our kids were little and maybe someone called them a name on the playground or whatever. I mean, those feathers start to ruffle. Mama bear. Exactly. Yeah. Very good point. And does it mean that we don't want to make things right and there to be correction if needed? But to realize, again, we talked about this earlier, but the levelness at the foot of the cross. Yes.
• 9:53
  I'm sure I've offended people. Oh, sure. Right. And so how do I want to react when then I'm offended as well? That's such a good point. Right. Because a lot of times we may offend someone and not realize it. Yes. And so we need to remember sometimes people that offend us maybe do not realize that we took the offense. Yes. And it's up to us to not take it. Right. Right.
• 10:17
  Well, interestingly enough, I'm aging myself. This book is really old, but John Bevere, there's a book that's The Bait of Saint, which is a fence. And so you think about that. It's almost like this, like, oh. And bait is not something that's not tasty. Like when you're, I'm not a fisherwoman, fisherman, but when you're baiting something, there's some temptation there. Sure. You know, and so that...
• 10:42
  We don't like to be wronged. We don't like to be offended. And so I can see where he called that the bait of Satan.
• 10:51
  What a great example when you think about that and you realize in the world we are in today, when there's such a distance of belief systems where it now is becoming one of those things where you are hated to believe something contrary to some other one. You know, just in general, it's offense and hatred and all kinds of other ugly, non-Jesus-like things. And
• 11:16
  I think even too, we can learn from this is, Lord, what is your heartbeat? Is how do I become loving towards them? How can I show love? Because they have a disdain for me because of my beliefs are different than yours versus a mutual respect for each other's differences.
• 11:34
  Boy, that's a good point. That is a good point. And I think that in our day and time that we're living in, that's so valuable to be able to agree to disagree. Yes. And just to be able to. And then in our case, you know, we're called to pray for those people. Amen. Because maybe we understand the truth and they are deceived or clouded judgment.
• 11:56
  We can pray for them that they can see clearly and understand that thing that which we disagree about. Yes. But, you know, we can still walk alongside them. We can still be helpful instead of being a bitter enemy as. Very good. And you know what? We don't really know when you, you know, Carrie, at the beginning, you talked about the seed. I think that if we could.
• 12:18
  emulate what Christ did. Right. That is seed going into their life to realize no matter what I do, they're, right, you as a believer in Christ, you're still showing love. You're showing kindness towards them. And, you know, I remember a family member, I did not treat them well for a long time. And I thought,
• 12:39
  this person no matter what I do, they're just always loving. And it's like, they're like, it's almost fake. It's like, you're just so good. Like, how is that? And I realized later on in life, I'm like, that is such a role I still look at today, even though they're with Jesus. I want to be like that. Oh, what a great example. Yes, exactly. That they always, no matter how I treated them, always came back with love, always was affirming. Amazing. Yes. That is so like Jesus.
• 13:07
  Amen. For sure. Well, there's a scripture that says, I think it's an ax, the kindness of the Lord leads to repentance. And so even for us, pointing out offense, pointing out somebody's wrong doesn't lead to them wanting to, a sinner wanting to repent. But when we can be kind, it's the kindness of the Lord. And really the scripture in Luke 22, 32, the kindness of Jesus to say to Peter, I pray
• 13:36
  prayed for you. And then the faith to say, when you've turned back, not if, but when you've turned back, strengthen your brothers. So just even that like praying for somebody that we know is going to offend us or we know has offended us, but also to pray like, Lord, would you, would you turn that around? And would you help them to become a person of kindness? Would you
• 14:06
  To say, Lord, you've interceded for me. And so when I've sinned or when I've fallen short, you don't just disqualify me. You've prayed for me. And when I repent, then you say, I can actually then go and strengthen others. So when we walk in that forgiveness, when we walk in repentance, there's a strength that comes. And people can relate to somebody who's had to overcome forgiveness.
• 14:31
  sin or who's had to overcome offense. If everything was just always perfect and be just like me, I've never been offended. I've never fallen. I've never. But when we can walk in that humility, absolutely. It it's actually people are drawn to that. Well, it's powerful. Yes. There's power in your testimony. Yes. And the testimony says, you know what? You're not any different than I am. We all battle. We all have experiences.
• 14:58
  But look what Jesus does for us. Look how we receive forgiveness. Look how we learn from our mistakes instead of just saying, well, this, you know, so many times people just say, well, it's the way he made me. I'm just going to live in it. And we, you know, that is not what he's called us to do. He's called us to recognize our faults, confess them one to another and move on. That's good. So I think that's such a good point. Yeah.
• 15:24
  And when we ask for forgiveness, the Lord says that our sins are as far then as the east is from the west. That's amazing. He doesn't, listen, he can't forget things. But when it says that he remembers our sin no more, it means that he doesn't keep acting on it. He doesn't hold it against us. That's right. And so, again, when we take up offense, what we're doing is, yeah, we say we've forgiven you. I know.
• 15:46
  But then we're not allowing you to move beyond that. We keep holding you in that place, right? And I don't want to be held back where I was 10 years ago. I don't want to be held back by my mistakes when I've asked for forgiveness. I mean, so we don't see Peter again denying the Lord, right? So this didn't become the Lord knew, I've prayed for you. What if Jesus hadn't prayed for him?
• 16:13
  And Peter had denied him. I mean, there could have been a different story. Peter then became, before Jesus, after he died and before he ascended to heaven, he got with Peter, remember? And he said, do you love me? Do you love me? If you love me, go feed my sheep. So he was basically saying, I trust you to now go and speak the good news with others and to raise up other people to follow me. The same one who had denied him.
• 16:40
  But Jesus had prayed for him. So I wonder, ladies, as we pray for others, there's actually a strengthening that happens in them and in us. And isn't Peter the disciple that he says, upon this rock, I will build my church? Yes. So, you know, that's so valuable to understand that even the ones who had the highest calling—
• 17:03
  still had examples of they were human. They walked in their flesh. They didn't always get it right. But like you said, it's such a testimony of God's forgiveness and the way that we can correct our ways. Absolutely. We don't discount and say, well, I've already made a mistake. I've already denied him. I've already sinned. I'm out of the flock now. Yes, yes. Instead, there's hope for all of us.
• 17:27
  You know, Jesus was so good, even, I mean, through the Old Testament, New Testament. God would always use the unthinkable, and he would raise them up, you know, to lead. To lead his children, you know. Everyone was really disqualified. Oh, sure. I don't know that we knew of a qualified person, you know, in the Old or New Testament, that God always saw the potential in them. And when you look at that, God's always seen, even within each of us, that potential. Yes.
• 17:55
  Oh, that's good. If I can see that within me, actually in someone else, then I know that it's like that iron sharpening item that I want to bring out God's goodness. I want to declare that over you. I want to edify you towards what God's calling you to. And, you know, a lot of times the ways of the Lord shows me, too, when I'm praying for someone, he'll start to give me something visual. And I begin to speak that over what God's potential is because it's so...
• 18:23
  like deep within me. And it usually stays with me to pray through even afterwards, because what is it that we're helping each other to become from glory into glory that we're used together, just like Jesus was helping to prepare Peter for what was ahead. God wants to use each of us to help each other to get to that other place that what God has called and destined each of us to. And part of it's that prayer. It's the word of encouragement. Yes. Declaring the word of God into your life. Yes. And,
• 18:53
  The hope that it is within us when someone, when you know in your spirit that they're open to hearing the word. Exactly. If they're not, that's not wisdom. Right. The wisdom of God is discerning and asking the Lord is, do I speak that or do I just pray that before the Lord? Yes. And the difference of when I've missed it. Yeah.
• 19:11
  You know it fast. Right. You know, it's like a wall. And a fence. Right. Whereas when someone is ready in season to hear what God has to reaffirm to them, you almost sense that aha moment. Yes. That they get that revelation of God is now you. Someone else. Wonderful. Doesn't even know my story. Right. But is confirming that this is what God has promised and he will do it. And encourages them. Amen. Obviously does it for both of us.
• 19:39
  I so right. And I love that part because you said doesn't know my story. That's what I love about prayer. We don't need to know your story. Oh, that's good, Veronica. You know, God knows your story. And so he doesn't need you to know it to pray for them. He just needs you to pray. Yes. And like you said earlier, you know, that's the beauty of the prayer language. We can pray out his will and not have to know our head doesn't have to know anything about you. Yes.
• 20:06
  We can just pray for you by using our prayer language. That's good. I'll have people sometimes say, oh, I remember you prayed this over me. And I don't remember. Exactly. And it's not because I don't care about that person. But I do think sometimes in prayer, we are God's mouthpiece. If we are in tune with heaven, if we, like you said, Cheryl, if we're seeing them through the eyes of Jesus, then we really can just be, we're echoing the voice of Jesus to them. We're the mouthpiece.
• 20:36
  And so we don't, again, not that we don't care, but we don't have to know all the details. We're just helping them remember what Jesus speaks over them and come into agreement. And so sometimes I like it when I don't remember because I'm like, well, then that was the Lord. That was not me.
• 20:51
  That is so true. And that's such a blessing because then that's your confirmation. When you don't remember it, you know that was your spirit praying out loud, and it was the Lord telling that person the ministry that he had for them. This wasn't the ministry that Carrie had. And I love that about being able to minister and not have to use our brain.
• 21:14
  but to pray out of our spirit and use our spirit in ministry. Well, that keeps us in a place of humility. Exactly. And that's the heart of the Lord is that we would stay in a place of humility and humble. No matter what our gifts are, they're not for us to be edified to the point where we begin to get confident in ourselves. Yes. That's that...
• 21:33
  constant trusting the Lord that whatever you're hearing, because I'm still, I think, I'm always like, Lord, I don't want to miss it. If I feel a prompting that makes sure that it's you and not my flesh. Right. Or my will, like you talked about, Veronica, about we want to pray God's will. Yes. Down on earth. And I'm like, I don't want to pray my will. I know my desires for that person. Right. And I've told some people before, like, I can pray for you, but I'm just going to tell you it's going to be biased.
• 22:00
  right oh absolutely and i have fun with god when i'm like you know this is what my will is i have a feeling you're going to take a different direction they're going to move away but i'm like just want you to know if there's any if there's any opportunity i would sure like that you would have a great opportunity for them to be here yeah yes that's very important and you know how do we know the will of god right by being in his word
• 22:24
  That's it. Right? And so I think sometimes when I want somebody to pray for me, I don't want just anybody to pray for me. I don't mean that to be prideful, but I want someone that believes in the power of prayer, believes that the Lord hears us and answers, believes in the words of God and can speak that truth and pray that truth over me. And so I think even Jesus, when he prayed in the garden, right?
• 22:52
  If it's possible, would you take this cup from me, Father? But then what do you say? Not my will, but yours. And then the Lord's Prayer. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. And so sometimes to know his will, we're human. We don't know it all. But one of the ways we can get a glimpse of it is in his word.
• 23:14
  And so it's a daily trying to, even if you're someone who has not been in the Word a lot, is no condemnation. It is start somewhere. Yes. You know, start in a place. Don't start probably in Leviticus. Right. Yeah. You won't stay there long.
• 23:30
  I agree. That's why I like the iRefresh website, because we have the scriptures in our resources, and you can look up any topic, and there are scriptures that follow that topic. And the nice thing about the scriptures is there is a P for prayer and an S for scripture.
• 23:48
  And so you read the scripture and then you put that scripture into your prayer. So powerful. It is so powerful. And like you said in another episode, it is not all the scriptures, but it's a great start. And it gets you started with building your faith in that area. Absolutely. So we encourage you, too, as we're disclosing in this episode is...
• 24:09
  If you've not been in the Word, maybe for a long period of time, is just even just take up your Bible. You can even get it online. There's a lot of resources there is just read one verse and just think about it, ponder it, write it down. That's good. Start somewhere where you can be encouraged. And then, you know, it's like, Carrie, what you've talked about, too, is partnering and getting somebody else that might encourage you in your walk with the Lord. Yes.
• 24:35
  Because even as we pray together and that strengthens us, even encourage each other to share a scripture, text each other a scripture. Amen. And get the ball rolling where you begin to absorb something in the word. And then you just find when the Holy Spirit begins to help you understand that you'll want to be more and more and more. It's such a powerful time. It's so good, Cheryl. Amen.