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5 Boundaries You Need To Have For Yourself · Healing with Purpose

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Healing with Purpose Podcast, a place where we discuss how healing ourselves helps us find our purpose.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Kenya Marie.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: What is up?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Healing with Purpose.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited because I have not recorded any podcasts the last week.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I initially started to beat myself up a little bit, like, oh no, I told myself I was going to record three times a week.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: But then I thought, I actually just want to use this platform to share what's on my mind when it's on my mind.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to treat it like some, you know, other social network networking platforms that I use.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, if you're a coach and you obviously know how that is to always feel like you have to keep up.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: But this is not the intention of this podcast.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is for me to just kind of share lessons that I learn as I go through them or lessons that I recall I've learned when I'm, you know, coaching my clients or, you know, teaching in one of my courses.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's why that's why I'm here.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it today.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to talk about boundaries and what boundaries look like with ourselves.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think oftentimes we are so quick to show up for other people that we don't show up for ourselves.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we get so caught up in doing all of these external things that we think we're supposed to do in order to be happy, but it doesn't actually serve us.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what it really means is we just don't have healthy boundaries within ourselves.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when we don't have healthy boundaries within ourselves, then it's gonna be really hard to set boundaries with other people.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so today I wanted to give you five of the different boundaries that I personally try to keep with myself and what has helped me just be a lot more successful in life in terms of happiness and joy and peace.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And um, these are some of the things that that I did.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing, let's just get into it.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know I don't really like the chit chat.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Just five of the things um that really helped me first is not answering work emails.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So like after hours or work calls, like after hours, because I used to be a social worker and I was an emergency response social worker, and there were so many times I would look at my phone after work because I was worried about the families that I was serving.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I would see an email come in and I would look at the email um, you know, after work hours and, you know, not respond that evening, maybe respond back the next day, but like think about it the whole entire rest of the night.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And what that did for me or did to me was distract me.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It took me out of the present moment of being with my family.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so accessible having that work phone that I realized I was just constantly living um, you know, someone else's reality and I'm not being present in my own.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so that obviously was super unhealthy for me.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's super unhealthy for my relationships.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got out of the social work business and I started, you know, my coaching business.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I found myself doing the same thing.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what the heck?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wanted to get out of this corporate job because I'm just constantly checking my emails and constantly what's on my mind, and the things that are on my mind aren't making me happy, they're making me stressed out.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not gonna do this again.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I get into the coaching business and then I started doing it again, but in a different way.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was so excited about the, you know, conversations I was having with people in my DMs, or I was so excited, you know, to really work hard to get that next client.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I love doing it so much.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, you know, if I really want to take this seriously, I have to just be all in like 10 feet down, just grind mode constantly on my phone working.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And as you could imagine, that ended up really, really impacting my ability to show up for myself, but my ability to show up with other people too in my relationships.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so again, I was in this cycle of of answering, you know, calls or or being in conversation or checking emails or doing something after hours that I was completely burnt out.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so it wasn't until I set a boundary within myself saying, you know what, after you know, 6 p.m., you are no longer doing anything work-related.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that you were doing after 6 p.m.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: could only be done out of creativity and joy.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, sometimes that does look like creating some content because I genuinely love to do it.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not this thing where I'm putting a lot of mental energy into, it's just more fun.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or um, you know, sometimes I am kind of thinking or uh of like how I can um expand my knowledge and expand beyond the physical.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'll I'll listen to podcasts or I'll watch like YouTube videos of some of my favorite doctors or physicians or neuroscientists, and like, you know, if the other people that might seem like work, but for me, it's really entertaining and it brings me a lot of peace and a lot of happiness.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I like learning.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I started to set this boundary within myself and it made the worlds different.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the first boundary you need to set with yourself, if you feel like you are a bit disconnected from who you are, is you need to stop answering work emails or work calls or checking the DMs if you are someone that works online after hours and really just be present and do things that make you feel good.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the next thing, next boundary I started to implement in my life was not purchasing things that I couldn't afford.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, I have always been a super frugal person.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've always been pretty aware of my finances.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like spending more than I have.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I like to make sure that I, you know, am spending my money well, and I've always been that way.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: But then in 2020, I started my online fitness business and I was doing incredibly well financially.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was making two to three times what I was making as a senior social worker with the government, which I thought was just so crazy.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And because I was getting this crazy influx of money, I was spending like crazy too.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I justified it by saying, well, I'm not ever spending more than I can afford.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wasn't ever putting myself in crazy debt necessarily, but I was running through my money fast, and that never ends well.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm buying all these things and realizing, oh gosh, now I'm kind of not in any place new or bigger because I'm spending just as much as I'm making, which is what I was doing before.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So something really needs to change.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if I want to have abundance in my life, and that includes financial abundance, then I need to develop a healthier relationship with money, which is such such a crazy topic.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I would love to have a full conversation with one of my friends about that, um, who is all about just financial literacy and how to really use your money well.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I started to do was I started to kind of live by this rule uh that funny enough came from Diddy, P.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Diddy, um, from an interview like years ago.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I heard this interview, this is probably like, I don't even know, maybe 10 years ago or something.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I heard this interview of of Puff Daddy, Diddy, whatever you want to call him.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and he says, if you cannot purchase, um he said if I'm sorry, he says, if you can't buy it twice, then you can't afford it.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Something along those lines.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that is so interesting.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is such a good way to look at your spending saving habits and behaviors.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, if I can't afford if I can't afford to have two of these things, then like I don't need to be spending my money on it.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, of course, there are circumstances to this, which of you could think of food or something like if or you know, random date nights.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm referring to.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about big purchases, um, you know, or big budgets.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you went from spending um uh$100 a month in like miscellaneous things like Target, I don't know, Amazon, whatever.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then you go from making, you know, spending$100 on those things to now spending, you know,$300 on those things because you have the money.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that isn't spending well.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's not um, you know, I can't afford to be to be spending$600 a month, right?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm like double the$300, because I was going from spending like$100 a month, like in all these random things to like over$300 a month.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I look at it as a whole, like the budget as a whole, my miscellaneous budget, which was always$100, I've now doubled.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually now tripled.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if I can't afford to pay that twice, so$600, I'm like, this isn't something I should be doing, right?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's just and this might not make sense at all, but it makes sense in my mind.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, no, I um$100 was fine for me to spend on all these miscellaneous miscellaneous things because I can't afford that twice.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: I could, you know, I do I can't afford spending$200 on these things, but$600, not so much.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And over time, you know, might not eat at you one month, but over time when you're continuously spending more than what you are earning or investing or whatever, then you, you know, you're gonna stay in the same position.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna either run out of money or you're never gonna grow in wealth.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so my the second boundary that I really needed to set with myself in order to be, you know, abundant in the way that I lived was to stop purchasing things that I can't afford.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this sounds like a really like no shit type of thing, but you know, a lot of us do it.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us spend, you know, well beyond our means and we just don't really need to.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So the next boundary that I set that really helped me develop a healthier relationship with myself and really just step into my um my power and my my highest self was I started to be a lot more conscious about the foods that were good for my body and my brain.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I've always been, not always, in the last several years.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was a, you know, I'm a fitness coach, obviously.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was a bodybuilder.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was very cautious and conscious about what I was eating, but not for like my body or my brain.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was cautious about the foods that I was um eating because I wanted to make sure that it made me, you know, really strong or I was hitting my protein and I was, I, you know, was like hitting these specific macros.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And macros are great.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: We could talk about macros all day long.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely think if you have a very specific health goal or like fat loss goal, then you definitely could benefit from just understanding macronutrients.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, I wasn't thinking about what's good for my brain.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was just thinking, okay, what's gonna help me hit these macros so I can hit this million like super high protein goal because that's what's gonna make me big and strong with a lot of muscle, and that's what's best for bodybuilding, right?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was thinking these things, um, but it wasn't necessarily food that was good for like my brain.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's crazy when you switch over to some of these foods that are good for your just your body and your brain, just you know, more mushrooms, more um, you know, like blueberries, more just certain like very specific foods that before I wasn't really thinking about.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wasn't really thinking about what's gonna be good for my brain.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was just thinking what's gonna be good to help me hit my macros.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: But now just being a lot more aware of, you know, eat more salmon or have more broccoli, you know, this is why we want more leafy greens.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is why dark chocolate is the better, you know, route if you're gonna have sweets.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually why eggs aren't so bad, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be so like, oh no, I can't have an egg.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: I can only eat egg whites because like my fat, my when I was really, really tracking my macros, my fat was relatively low, but my protein was super high.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was like, okay, eat like a cup of egg whites or two cups of egg whites or three cups of egg whites.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, wait, but there's so many benefits to actually having a whole egg.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I started to eat for my brain and for my body, opposed to just eating for my aesthetic and that really like setting that boundary with myself of like, I'm gonna limit unhealthy foods, like foods that aren't super great for my my brain or my body, I'm gonna limit them.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Notice I'm saying limit, not eliminate, right?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, if you can't eliminate these things, then absolutely amazing bravo.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's great.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: If we can do that one by one, but I'm also understanding of the fact that like eliminating all of these foods that you've been so used to consuming for probably all your life is really hard.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so don't put that pressure on yourself.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just start, you know, slowly limiting just some of the unhealthy foods.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And before you know it, you're actually gonna just crave healthier foods because you're gonna feel better.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain's gonna be stronger, it's gonna be more alert, you, you know, and that's gonna make you feel good.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna wanna you're you know, you're gonna wanna continue to eat that way because you're having a positive reinforcement.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, so the third boundary that I really set was just limiting those unhealthy foods.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the next, the next boundary that I set in order to be more aligned with who I am and just more at peace was I started making a conscious effort to shut down self-critical thoughts.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: A conscious effort to shut down self-critical thoughts.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I am just like you.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have had so many thoughts that are just so critical, that are not helpful, that are just damaging to my own psyche.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Some of these thoughts, you know, I'm never going to be successful because blah blah blah.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always going to be anxious because of blah blah blah.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, this always happens to me because I'm just not good enough, or I'm not smart enough, or I'm not fast enough, or I'm not pretty enough, right?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like these were the self-critical thoughts and they don't serve us.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: They, ladies, ladies, these thoughts do not serve us.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Men, these ladies, you know, these ladies do not serve us.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: These thoughts do not serve us.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's really important that we understand that like we have the power to shift those thoughts.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: If we have a thought that comes in that doesn't make you feel good, you need to make a conscious effort to change that thought.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly how I do it.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I teach my clients this exact same thing.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I probably I don't even know if I've talked about it here yet, but if not, this is what I do.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you have a disempowering statement or belief that comes into your head, right?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: This disempowering thought.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I, you know, so I use this example a lot with my the fitness coaches that I um that I mentor.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a lot of fitness clients or fitness coaches rather who I help build their business, start their business.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and one of the goals that a lot of these coaches have is to make$5,000 of from fitness coaching within their first like, you know, month or two.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yep, perfect, easy, super easy, you can do it.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: But then they have this thought of like, there's no way I can make$5,000.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, why?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, well, because if I want to make$5,000, that means I need to charge X amount of money if I only want to have X amount of clients.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, what like what's the problem?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And they sit there and they just continue to tell themselves, oh, well, there's no way I could charge this amount.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, some of these, like some of the women I work with, like they're like, oh, there's no way I can charge um, you know,$290 or something a month in fitness coaching.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's so crazy.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: No one is able to afford that.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's, you know, I'm not worth that much money, you know, all those beliefs and limiting beliefs that they have.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then I like just work through that with them.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: But then I go back to the market average right now.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: So to be an online fitness coach, the the average in this market charging for, and I'm talking about programs that are, you know, personalized, completely customized.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: You get a nutritional piece to it, you get a workout piece to it, maybe some form of accountability, right?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Stuff like that.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a full-on one-on-one, like coaching, custom business.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: The average is like$350 to$600 a month now, which is crazy.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I know some people are like, that's crazy.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can never afford that.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, yeah, part of some of us might not be able to afford that during certain seasons of our life, and that is okay.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Others of us actually probably can't afford it.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: We're just spending money on things that are keeping us from achieving our goals, then actually bringing us closer.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I am just as guilty of that.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I would have these thoughts, and when my coaches I would work with would have these thoughts of like, there's no way I can charge X amount of money.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I am not that good of a coach.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not worthy enough of a coach.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like so we we work through the process of completely shutting that disempowering belief down because now we're a conscious of it, right?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're making a conscious effort to shut down these self-critical thoughts.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't do anything for these coaches to tell themselves that they're not worthy of making an X amount of money.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like that doesn't do anything for them but keep them stuck and keep them small.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And they are not meant to be none of us, you are not meant to be small.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, so we take that belief, I'm not worthy of making, you know, let's say$5,000 a month.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then we say the complete opposite.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: What is the opposite?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I am worthy of making$5,000 a month.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what are three, you know, two to three statements that really truthfully help you realize and see that you actually are worthy of making$5,000 a month.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I, you know, I have successful transformations in my clients.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like the clients I do work with, maybe it was, you know, in-person clients, or maybe I was just charging a really low rate prior.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like they actually did have a great transformation with me.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm obviously really knowledgeable about what I'm doing and how the body mechanics are and how to help someone transform their body.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: What else?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why why else are you worthy of making$5,000 a month?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I work really hard and I and I give it my all and I, you know, learn on the side.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm constantly investing in, you know, my own courses and to become a better trainer, or I'm reading these books and I'm doing all these.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you're increasing your knowledge, right?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that we we we go through these incredibly truthful statements about themselves that help validate the truth that I actually am worthy of making, you know,$5,000 a month, let's just say.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And this is like very, very beginner.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is like the beginning.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: You if you're an online coach, you can make a great deal more, um, you know, especially with the trainings and and if you have a good system in place, but that's not where I'm going with that.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying, like, that is the um, you know, the number one kind of thing I'm working with with my, with some of my coaches.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that that boundary that you really need to set with yourself is like, I'm gonna make a conscious effort to just shut down these self-critical thoughts.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like telling myself that I'm not worthy of making$5,000 is truthfully not doing anything for me, but making me feel small.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you are not meant to feel small.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: You are big, you hold a lot, a space.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: And um, how you operate in that space is so, so powerful.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So might as well operate in a way of uh joy and abundance and bliss and happiness and posity because it's way more magnifying to other people.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the energy exchange is just incredible when you have these, you know, self-fulfilling thoughts and um helpful, beneficial, loving thoughts towards yourself, opposed to these really critical thoughts.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: So um, so start making that boundary with yourself if you want to live in you know better alignment and higher alignment with with who you are and and you know why you're so special.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: So the last, the last boundary that I really started to set with myself that made the world's difference is I started to unfollow accounts that just didn't make me feel good.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Accounts that just didn't make me feel good.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm gonna there's a couple things, there's a couple pieces to this.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: There are people that you see every single day.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your coworkers, maybe it's your family members, maybe it's your friends, and every single day you are influencing their environment and they are influencing your environment.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe let's just break this down.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a boss, maybe you have a colleague, maybe you have a colleague who's like pretty cool, but they're super negative.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like every time you go into work, they just are talking shit about something or someone or you know, some circumstance.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like every single time, right?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you go in every day and you listen because you're like, you're a nice person.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: So you listen and maybe you give some advice, maybe you like, you know, are just there for them to, you know, unleash on.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: But then you leave those conversations and you're like really drained.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like you you know those conversations where you leave and you're like super drained after you're done talking to them and you're like, oh my gosh, like, uh, like it's not I don't I don't really not like that person, but damn, I am drained.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything that they say is so negative.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: She Always has something negative to say, right?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Your physical environment of you being with this colleague who is constantly, you know, complaining and just has negative things to say is impacting your field of energy and inevitably is allowing you now to feel drained or negative or X, Y, Z feelings that she was putting out there.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: We understand this when we talk about physical environments, but for some reason we forget that our environment also includes the people that we are seeing every single day staring at our little screen on our phone, right?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: We spend so much time on our phone, so much time.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Instagram, TikTok, emails, texting, like Pinterest, all of the things, right?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: YouTube, like we spend so much time on our phone.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna go into all of that in this one, but if you know, because the truth is we really don't need to be spending all that much time on our phone.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm this is something I'm actively really working through, like currently, because I work from my phone, so I'm trying to find a healthy balance, but we really don't need to spend our day and night on our phone looking at what everyone else is doing, like it's disconnecting us so much from ourselves, and that's just so unfortunate because you are so powerful.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you take some time to be with yourself more and really tap into that power, like you could quite literally create the life that you want, the impact that you want.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: But we get so distracted, and one of those biggest distractions is all of these social media accounts.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're gonna be on there, you know, like I'm not I'm not gonna sit here and tell you just don't be on your Instagram or TikTok or whatever, but like if you're gonna be on there and you're on a platform that's following other people, at least make sure that they're people that inspire you and make you feel good.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's no reason to be following accounts of anything or anyone that just doesn't make you feel good.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that is open to interpret like that is open to interpretation, whatever that means to you.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are struggling in your own health journey right now.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have been struggling to lose weight and it's really eating at you, it's really eating at your confidence, it's eating at your your comfortability, and you're following a bunch of people who are super, super fit and constantly posting about how hot their body is.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And and, you know, their intention, I'm sure, is to inspire and to educate.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: But every time you go on, just right now during the season of your life, every time you go on that account, you actually feel really bad about yourself.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: You feel like, why aren't I looking like them?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or why does she look like that, but I don't?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you start comparing yourself and you start beating yourself up.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if that is how you're feeling in this moment and in this season of your life, then you do not need to be following that account.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like that, it's it's just that simple, right?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not even just that, though.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's people too.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you follow someone from high school and you've known them forever, and so you're like, yeah, I can't unfollow them because like I've known them for like 20 years, you know, like that's they're gonna think I don't like them or something.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: But every time they post, they're talking about some shit that you just don't really want to be like reading about.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe like we saw a lot of this with like everything that was happening with COVID and like all the things that happened in 2020.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we saw a lot of of this, right?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: And people just like everyone on all of a sudden is like a doctor and they're like experts and they like know everything, and so they're posting and they're sharing and they're you know, educating the rest of us.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like, and I was totally guilty of this too at some points, but like over time, I'm like, oh my gosh, like watching these accounts or constantly seeing these accounts, it actually just doesn't make me feel good.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I understand that they're trying to educate or whatever, but you know, this this is becoming detrimental to my health.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you guys, I want to make it very clear.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: I am not advising not listening to other people's opinions.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I actually I love, I love listening to all sides of all things because it's just really expanded my my uh my level of awareness and my understanding of the world.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I try very much to hear all sides of all things, like politically, like everything really.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I'm not saying unfollow accounts that you disagree with, I'm saying unfollow accounts that don't make you feel good.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, really just setting that boundary with yourself and understanding that it doesn't matter if you think that your, you know, friend from 20 years ago is not gonna like you or think that you don't like them because you're unfollowing them.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: If something about their account isn't making you feel very good about yourself, like you need to set that boundary within yourself to take care of yourself.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe like let's go back to the fitness example.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe you, you know, unfollow all these accounts that were making you feel very good.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: You hire a one-on-one trainer, this coach, trainer, whatever, helps you, you know, develop a healthy relationship with yourself, develop a healthy relationship with food, like really start getting comfortable in your skin.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe at that point you are able to go back and follow some of these accounts.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: And now you do see the inspiration in them, and you're no longer comparing yourself to these, you know, influencers or whomever.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so now it feels good.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so now, like it's okay that you follow them.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, there's seasons of our life, but you guys setting boundaries with ourselves is so freaking crucial.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, just as a recap, if you want to get into higher alignment with who you are and you you really want to, you know, show up as your, your, your highest, most authentic self, and the boundaries that you need to set with yourself could look like this.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not answering work emails or work calls, you know, after hours and really being intentional about time with yourself or time with your family.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and number two is not purchasing things that we just can't afford, right?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: If we can't purchase it twice, then we probably don't need it once.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I have been living by that recently, and it's it's helps a great deal in my financial abundance, which is obviously translated in me being, you know, more at ease and less anxious and all the things.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: So um, that second boundary is just really not purchasing things that you can't afford.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: The next is limiting, you know, unhealthy foods.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like what are some of these foods?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And again, limiting, not eliminating, but limiting some of these unhealthy foods that are just not good for your body or your brain.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I know I have a lot of bodybuilding friends and I love it.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in such inspiration of all of them because it's takes so much effort and, you know, consistency and patience and determination to be a successful bodybuilder.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I have so much props to them.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, it does make me think like, how often are we just eating for aesthetics?
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: And when when are we eating for our brain?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: When are we are we being conscious of brain healthy foods, right?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: And are we getting enough of those in?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: So really just limiting those unhealthy foods that just aren't good for our brain.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that next number four, the fourth boundary is really making a conscious effort to shut down those self-critical thoughts.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're not serving us, we don't need them.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Say goodbye.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, turn that disempowering belief into an empowering one, and I promise it's gonna make you feel a lot better about yourself, and that's gonna help you, you know, really push forward and do the things that you need to get done.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then number five, that fifth boundary with yourself needs to be unfollowing accounts that just don't make you feel good.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't make you feel good, and that's food, people, uh I don't know, TV shows, music, anything that doesn't make you feel good, like unfollow, unsubscribe, say goodbye, like take a, you know, take a hiatus from them or it's because it's just it's not serving you and it's definitely not helping you get closer to your highest self.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this gave you some um perspective and something to think about.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: These are some boundaries that I've you know really just been setting for myself.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so um it's helped me tremendously.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, if you are, you know, really in a place in your life where you are ready to transform your body, you're ready to transform your mind, um, maybe it's health related, then definitely reach out to us on my Instagram, I am Kenny Emory underscore.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: We have an incredible staff of health coaches who are here to help you transform your body, transform your mind, help you develop a healthy relationship with food and with yourself.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're here to do.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely apply for Beyond the Physical Fitness Program.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we are here to serve.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: I will be talking about not only setting boundaries with ourselves, but signs that we need stronger boundaries in general.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know that this is all like hitting home, you're like, yeah, you know what?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: I really need to set some boundaries with myself.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you aren't quite sure of what the signs are, because if you don't know what the signs are, you're probably missing the signs that you need to set boundaries with yourself.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So um, in next episode, I will be talking about some signs that you should be looking out for in order to really let you know that you need some stronger boundaries.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: All right, thanks so much.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: I will chat with you soon.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: To continue your healing journey, join me in my 10-week course, Healing with Purpose.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: This all encompassing course is comprised of teachers, healers, and holistic practitioners who teach you how to find your purpose in life by walking you through the stages of healing.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of the 10 weeks, you will have a deeper understanding of who you are and what your purpose is, and the tools and resources to heal your body and manage your mind.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: To apply for our course, click the link in my bio.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am Kenya Marie underscore, and we'll see you in there.