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Transcript

STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM · Blind But Now I See

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Back at it for another episode of The Blonde b
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I Se Show.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: I am your host, fob Sen, the Hill Ray, Charles
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Blonde Poppy if you Nasty, the official blond Stuffer, the
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  Speaker 2: voice of the fucking Disables, And this episode is sponsored
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  Speaker 2: by WTF Media Studio to sixty five Canal Street where
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  Speaker 2: magic is being made. We easy, we gotta talk about it.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Disablers need a discount and you know where we at.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: But we locked in producer, engineer and I'm gonna keep
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: talking to each episode, my manager, my dog Wolf. People
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  Speaker 2: need to hear that wealth sound. People got to wait.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: People walk today and you know you can go on
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: www dot fobco dot com or content podcast. Anything you
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: need and how to reach me is on that website.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: And today's podcast we're gonna talk about people playing the victim. Yeah,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about you, the one that's home that's just
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: trying to find any way possible to blame everybody for
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  Speaker 2: your life. I'm talking about you. Your Oh my mother
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: never told me she loved me enough. Oh, I feel
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  Speaker 2: like this job is not good enough. Like just victims,
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  Speaker 2: Like can you just need to get your ass up?
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  Speaker 2: You just playing a victim. Fucking victim, and today we're
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  Speaker 2: gonna set you straight. Hopefully my words hit you in
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  Speaker 2: a special place where you're gonna say and say today
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  Speaker 2: is not a I'm not gonna be the victim no more.
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  Speaker 2: Today I'm gonna take action in my life and we
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  Speaker 2: gonna get into this shit like this. Let me talk
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: to the people with It didn't happen to you, It
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: happened for you. Let me explain more about that. When
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: I got shot, I felt like why me? The word
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: came crashing down on me. I was mad at everybody.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I didn't understand why this life was put upon upon me.
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  Speaker 1: I gave up on God. I said, God, why the
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  Speaker 1: fuck me?
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  Speaker 2: All these people in the world that's doing bad, Why
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  Speaker 2: you took my site, Why you choose me to get shot?
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  Speaker 1: Why like just nagging, nagging, nagging, complain and complaining and
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: complaining being a victim.
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  Speaker 2: This that when I realized God did this for a reason,
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  Speaker 2: because he felt I was strong enough to carry the
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  Speaker 2: words that he wanted me the shit to the world.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like God sat there and say, you could
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  Speaker 1: plain it. I gave you something way much more than
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  Speaker 1: what you had before.
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  Speaker 2: Best of believe it or not, I was an EMT.
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  Speaker 2: I'm only saving people in New York. I'm only saving
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: people in Brooklyn. But now that I'm he took my vision,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I'm saving people across the world. I'm reading these comments like, damn,
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  Speaker 2: this is the way my life's supposed to be. People
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  Speaker 2: reaching out crying because I'm talking that real shit that
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  Speaker 2: they need to hear. And they wouldn't heard that from
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  Speaker 2: a fucking EMT because I wanted to be able to
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  Speaker 2: reach them. So I start embracing what God gave me,
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  Speaker 2: and he gave me the gift of being an adult.
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  Speaker 2: I'm the king of the Dog and I praise it.
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  Speaker 2: I embrace it, and I woke like I woke every
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  Speaker 2: day strong, with my head up hot, knowing that this
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  Speaker 2: journey that was put upon me was made for me
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  Speaker 2: and had my name on it. Maybe it could not
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  Speaker 2: fit a wolf, maybe it couldn't fit you on the
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  Speaker 2: other side of that screen, because this.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Is my life. This don't have my name on it.
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  Speaker 2: You gotta start embracing what's in front of you and
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  Speaker 2: what you have and make the best out of it
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  Speaker 2: instead of set up they complaining on that couch all day.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Nothing changes unless you do the changing. What do you
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  Speaker 2: mean by that blind stepper meaning you're gonna be miserable.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: You're gonna be depressed about that thing that's keep bothering you,
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  Speaker 2: but you're not doing the changes. For instance, you at
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  Speaker 2: a desk every day working hard. You miserable, you feel
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  Speaker 2: like crying when you at this place. But what are
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  Speaker 2: you doing about it? Are you looking for another job?
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  Speaker 2: Are you sit there and say, I know my value,
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  Speaker 2: I know my worth, so let me go out there
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  Speaker 2: and expand and find something better.
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  Speaker 1: Know what it is?
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  Speaker 2: Some people scared to do the work, some people scared
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  Speaker 2: of the changes. It's either two things that can happen.
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  Speaker 2: Either that change gonna be good for you, or that
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  Speaker 2: change gonna make you reset to say, how can I
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  Speaker 2: approach this change in a different way. I feel like
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  Speaker 2: people sit there and complain about the person that they wait.
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  Speaker 2: This person don't don't elevate me. This person don't benefit me,
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  Speaker 2: It don't help me. This person ain't helping me grow,
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  Speaker 2: but you still loving on this person. I feel like
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  Speaker 2: a lot of people don't get out there and meet them.
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  Speaker 2: It's like it's billions of people in this world, but
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  Speaker 2: you won't go out there and meet somebody else.
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  Speaker 1: You won't go out there and date, you won't go out.
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  Speaker 2: There and talk to different people. I feel like we
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  Speaker 2: are settling for no reason. We don't have to settle people.
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  Speaker 2: Be the change that you want to be. It's a
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  Speaker 2: job out there that got your name on it, not
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  Speaker 2: this one that you're saying at this desk and you're
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  Speaker 2: crying over Like, for instance, I ain't gonna lie. My
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  Speaker 2: mother called me every day and talk about this job.
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  Speaker 2: She crying sometimes. This place makes me want to cry.
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  Speaker 2: This place is that but mine. You got all the
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  Speaker 2: qualifications you need to blow this motherfucker. You have hands
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  Speaker 2: of art, you can make my merch you can you
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  Speaker 2: can get contracts for schools to do mugs and cups
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  Speaker 2: and do different shit. But you gotta be the change
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  Speaker 2: that you want. You feel like this job ain't Nate,
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: but what you're doing about it. Calling me every day
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  Speaker 2: is not working. Calling my sisters is not working. You
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  Speaker 2: gotta sit there and say, okay, cool, I'm gonna put
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  Speaker 2: the I'm gonna put this change into the universe and
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  Speaker 2: just take a leap of faith and see where it's
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  Speaker 2: gonna leave me. Sometimes you say, and you got to
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  Speaker 2: ask yourself whise my life is not getting no better,
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  Speaker 2: But did you look around and see that the changes
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  Speaker 2: that you could be making that can really help it out.
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  Speaker 2: Sometimes you gotta cut friends off, Sometimes you gotta cut
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  Speaker 2: family off.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta.
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  Speaker 2: Really cut these people around you that just holding you
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  Speaker 2: by your collar and dragging you back because they don't
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  Speaker 2: want to see you make the changes to be a
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  Speaker 2: better person, a better version of yourself. I've been through that,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: and I witnessed that it was twenty of us on
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  Speaker 2: the block, and now it's like my circle got three people.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think we can make a circle with three people.
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  Speaker 2: But I'm cool, and I'm cool with that. I'm comfortable
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  Speaker 2: with that. I had to make the changes to really
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  Speaker 2: see my worth. I had to make the changes to
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  Speaker 2: see that my life is more valuable than where it
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  Speaker 2: was that on that corners. My life is more valuable
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  Speaker 2: than selling drugs and being in part of a gang.
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  Speaker 2: I had to make the changes not just for myself.
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  Speaker 2: I had to make the changes for my child. I
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  Speaker 2: had to make the changes for the people that really
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  Speaker 2: depend on me and look up to me. Be the
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: change that you want to be. Let me talk to
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: my young boys. Stupid games get stupid prizes.
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  Speaker 1: What do I mean by that? Meaning?
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  Speaker 2: We go outside every day on that corner, chilling with
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  Speaker 2: people that don't want to see us, grow guns on
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  Speaker 2: our waist, selling drugs, million dollar.
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  Speaker 1: Dreams, thinking that we big meat. But nobody never look at.
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  Speaker 2: The other side of that game to say that prize
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  Speaker 2: is that jail cell that got my.
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  Speaker 1: Name on it. Method.
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  Speaker 2: When you're at jail cell, you ain't in name, you
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  Speaker 2: just a number. Now you got to fight for your
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  Speaker 2: life being in that little ass cell. You hoping that
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  Speaker 2: somebody's sending you conversary, You hoping for a visit, You
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  Speaker 2: hoping that you could pick up that phone and call
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  Speaker 2: out to somebody. But we can't blame nobody but ourself
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  Speaker 2: because we put ourselves in this predicament. We played that
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  Speaker 2: stupid game. Now look at the consequences we gotta face.
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  Speaker 2: You ain't want to listen to your mother when she
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  Speaker 2: try to tell you and tell you what's right and
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  Speaker 2: for what's wrong. You didn't want to listen to your
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  Speaker 2: mother when she try to leave you down that right path.
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  Speaker 2: Now you got to listen to that redneck and that
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  Speaker 2: cell telling you when it pissed, when it's shit, when
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  Speaker 2: it's sleep when they eat, and I feel like you
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  Speaker 2: comfortable with that. I feel like we got the game
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  Speaker 2: fucked up. And then on top of that, when we
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  Speaker 2: and these predictaments worth, we blame our mothers because our
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  Speaker 2: mothers couldn't buy his stem jotans. We blame the father
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  Speaker 2: because the father couldn't do the didn't put enough overtime
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  Speaker 2: in so we had to stay off these corners. Or
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  Speaker 2: we blame my parents for putting us in this environment
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  Speaker 2: because they didn't have enough money to move us to
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  Speaker 2: the suburbs. I feel like we point the fingers at
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  Speaker 2: everybody instead of pointing the fingers at ourself. And it
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  Speaker 2: goes back to the title or this shit. Everybody is
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  Speaker 2: guilty but you, and that's fucked up. You're the most
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  Speaker 2: important person on your team, like your presence when you
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  Speaker 2: stumping in that room. Your mental health got to be balanced,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: because if you're not good, you're not healthy, you're not stable.
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  Speaker 2: Everybody around you're gonna crumble. I feel like you gotta
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: keep moving, you gotta keep pushing, you gotta tell yourself.
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  Speaker 1: I am this, I am that, I am great, I am.
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  Speaker 2: Gonna hustle, I'm It's like everything you gotta be involved
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  Speaker 2: with you for that team to be strong. I feel
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  Speaker 2: like without a strong team, well without a strong version
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  Speaker 2: of you, your team is not gonna be strong, and
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  Speaker 2: it's gonna be cracks in the holes where people could
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  Speaker 2: like just slide into and break the whole team down.
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  Speaker 1: So if you're not.
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  Speaker 2: One hundred percent, you're not better like being out drinking
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  Speaker 2: last night, Don Julio partying and thinking that you're gonna
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  Speaker 2: come in and give your team one hundred percent. You
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: got things, you got things fucked up. You gotta start
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: taking ourselves and holding ourselves accountable for carrying this team. So,
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: which means when I say I'm gonna go to sleep early,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: well was just telling me I'm gonna get enough sleep.
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  Speaker 1: I'm prepare myself.
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  Speaker 2: Why because it's not just me, it's the team that
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: depending on me. I'm the Without me, there's this team
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  Speaker 2: don't exist. So what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do
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  Speaker 2: everything I can do. I want to tell the people
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: out there turn your message to being a message. What
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I mean by that, I was fucked up, I was down,
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  Speaker 2: I was depressed, I was hurting. I was in a
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: dark I didn't know which way was up, down, left, right,
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  Speaker 2: and I was just in that room, just waiting to die.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: But then podcasts came into my life, parties came into
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  Speaker 2: my life. I started using me getting Shot to get
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: the message across the world because it's that kid that
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: was going through what I was going through and don't know,
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: don't have that support. I'm that hope for that person
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: that don't got a weigh out. I'm that hope when
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: a person turned on that they know they're gonna get
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: that motivation, that that inspiration for me because I ain't
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  Speaker 2: gonna lie. I've been through the dark. I had to
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: go through the mud. That shit ain't easy.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: It's hard. I can tell you about it. Even more I.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Could go deep into this shit. This shit was so
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: hard I try to commit suicide. This shit was so hard.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I tried to push my son away. This shit was
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: so hard. I hated everybody around me because I was
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: in this dark. But then when people reaching out to
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: me asking me, how do I stay strong because I
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: don't show my emotions, I don't wear my emotions on
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  Speaker 2: my face, How I stay strong?
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: How do you do this? And I'm telling them how
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  Speaker 1: I do this?
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: And they crying and they sat there and said they
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: lost their job, they don't know how they gonna get
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: their next mail. But my voice give them motivation to
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: keep on moving or they losing air vision. I know
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: somebody that's losing their vision right now. They call me
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: and just talk to me, not knowing that they really
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: studying how I operate. So it's always a brighter light.
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  Speaker 2: And I feel like we gotta find that brighter light.
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  Speaker 2: Turn that mess that you've been through to that message.
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  Speaker 2: That message could touch not just one two. That mess
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  Speaker 2: could touch the world. My mess that I've been through,
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  Speaker 2: that mud that I've been through, is touching people in
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: different states. It might be touching people in different countries.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm happy to do that because now if I
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: would have kept this mess bottled up and they can
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: with the lid on top of it, nobody. It'd be
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: somebody out there that's killing themself because they don't know
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: how to handle this. It might be somebody that's not
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: as strong, and my voice is my voice, being quiet
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: and keeping it to myself is not giving them the
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: strength to keep moving.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like everything, every every fucked.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Up trauma, past experience that you couldn't get past, you
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  Speaker 2: need to start start speaking because.
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  Speaker 1: You never know who you can save. I'm living proof
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  Speaker 1: of that shit.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: My testimony is touching the world, not just people in
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: the studio, not people that's around me, and touching the
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: word that people that don't even know me. The testimony
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: is power. The power is in the tongue. You gotta
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: start speaking it. And there's been definitely another episode. It's
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: fucking hot and shit in this.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Studio for real, for real, and.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: We can tell Instagram blamin I see NYC uh email
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: blaming i c NYC at gmail dot com.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Until next week.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Don't step until you step big and stop playing the
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: fucking victim, and let's get up and make a change.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I'm out.