Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How To Tell If A Narcissist Is Having A Bad Day

Transcript

How To Tell If A Narcissist Is Having A Bad Day · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So how can you tell if a narcissist is going to have a
• 0:04
  bad day or it's going to, you know, if they have a bad day,
• 0:07
  that means you're probably going to have a bad day too and
• 0:10
  they're going to take it out on you.
• 0:11
  They're bad things they're going to take out on you.
• 0:14
  There are signs. We're going to talk about those
• 0:16
  today. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:18
  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist that
• 0:20
  is here to break down the mind of a narcissist.
• 0:22
  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:42
  So welcome back, folks, welcome back, welcome back, yo.
• 0:45
  The mind of a narcissist is a fickle, fickle thing, right?
• 0:52
  And it can be very hard to read a narcissist.
• 0:55
  That's why y'all hear it. That's you.
• 0:56
  Hey, I'm a diagnose narcissist giving you the breakdown of a
• 1:00
  narcissist's mind and what they might do and how they might
• 1:03
  react, how they might behave. I go more into detail than in
• 1:06
  that in those in my one on ones over zoom mental illness.net.
• 1:10
  But yes, y'all narcissist. The people.
• 1:13
  Like there are signs that you're going to have a bad day.
• 1:16
  There are signs, right? The one number one sign that
• 1:19
  you're probably going to have a bad day or not necessarily bad
• 1:22
  day and off day. A day where the energy is off, a
• 1:26
  day where you're just on eggs, walking on egg shells all day.
• 1:29
  A day where you don't know what the hell you're going to get.
• 1:31
  You don't know what version of the narcissist is going to wake
• 1:35
  up beside you or walk through that door or whatever, right?
• 1:38
  Because sometimes they leave the house before you even get up.
• 1:41
  You know, they, they go to work earlier than you maybe, right?
• 1:44
  So they leave the house and you don't even know what type of
• 1:46
  mood they're in. They left the house.
• 1:48
  But one way to tell y'all, one way to tell if a narcissist is
• 1:52
  going to have a bad day or they're going to take it out on
• 1:55
  you is how they spend the previous night.
• 1:59
  How they spend the previous night is in.
• 2:03
  Yeah, it's so important. And I know this is like it's
• 2:08
  going to be sound trivial because this is your partner and
• 2:11
  this is also not only are they your partner, they are also an
• 2:15
  adult and they should know how to act, right?
• 2:17
  They should definitely know how to act and behave and express
• 2:19
  themselves. But we know that narcissists are
• 2:21
  going to struggle with that. We know that most narcissists
• 2:24
  don't know how to communicate in a healthy way.
• 2:26
  This is why, you know, This is why a lot of relationships with
• 2:29
  narcissists fail or just completely unhappy.
• 2:32
  If they even if they do go on, they are completely unhappy.
• 2:37
  So one way to tell it's like the pay attention the night before.
• 2:39
  Y'all. There are signs like how are
• 2:42
  they treating you the night before?
• 2:44
  What are they doing the night before?
• 2:47
  How are they talking? How are they acting?
• 2:49
  How are they behaving the night before?
• 2:52
  You know, because you can tell that you can tell when the
• 2:54
  energy is off. I'm not telling you that you
• 2:57
  when I when I say energy, y'all there's I don't really even know
• 3:00
  how to put it into words. Look, what do I, what do I say?
• 3:04
  Energy. I don't mean I don't like I
• 3:08
  said, when I say energy, I don't mean like you go eat some
• 3:11
  crystals and some rocks and read the energy.
• 3:14
  No, I'm not saying that you can tell when the vibe is off.
• 3:17
  Your intuition is kind of kicking off.
• 3:19
  Your intuition is that your radar is going Boo, Boo, Boo,
• 3:21
  Boo, Boo Boo and you know something is going on.
• 3:24
  What is your intuition telling you?
• 3:29
  What is it saying to you? Because that's an important
• 3:31
  question. Like, because you can tell how
• 3:33
  they're like, you can tell what's going to happen the next
• 3:36
  day, but the night before, are they giving you the silent
• 3:39
  treatment right now? Like before you go to bed, Do
• 3:43
  you, like I said, did you go to bed mad because they gave you
• 3:46
  the silent treatment the whole day?
• 3:49
  Or it's been days of the silent treatment Or they just stopped,
• 3:52
  refused to talk to you, they refused to acknowledge your
• 3:54
  existence. They refused.
• 3:55
  They're stonewalling you. They are pretending like you
• 3:59
  don't even matter. Like your presence in the house
• 4:01
  or whatever is irrelevant. You don't matter right now.
• 4:05
  You never mattered. I never cared about you.
• 4:07
  Y'all know that crazy the crazy ass stuff that some narcissist
• 4:10
  was like to you but it's just true.
• 4:14
  Are they giving you the silent treatment the night before or,
• 4:17
  or, or are they raging out on you?
• 4:21
  It can be one of those two things.
• 4:22
  Did they have a, a bout or a spat of, of narcissistic rage
• 4:28
  before they went to bed right with you or with anybody?
• 4:32
  It doesn't even have to be with you.
• 4:34
  Yeah, they could take out the they can take out the pressures
• 4:38
  of their life on every single person in their life except they
• 4:41
  they would rather do that than handle the issues that they're
• 4:43
  facing directly. You know, and that can be an
• 4:46
  extremely frustrating dynamic when you're dealing with the
• 4:50
  emotionally manipulative, abusive narcissist.
• 4:54
  It really can be. So this is something that you
• 4:56
  have to consider as you are moving forward, as you're trying
• 4:58
  to heal, as you're trying to grow, is that narcissistic
• 5:01
  people like might rage out on you because they're mad at
• 5:04
  somebody else. Imagine, and this could be
• 5:06
  happening to y'all. And this this happens on all
• 5:08
  sides of the spectrum, right? Like imagine your partner being
• 5:12
  angry at you because they're a fair partner is doing something
• 5:17
  to them. Like imagine they it's crazy.
• 5:22
  Imagine you imagine your partner is cheating on you and a person
• 5:28
  that they are cheating with upsets them and they take it out
• 5:32
  on you. They're giving you the silent
• 5:34
  treatment because they're a fair partner decided to cut to cut
• 5:38
  them off or they're a fair partner decided to told them to
• 5:41
  told them that they were going to tell you or whatever it is,
• 5:43
  right? They just.
• 5:50
  It does blow my mind how that happens.
• 5:52
  Y'all, Not only narcissists do that, y'all, but being real with
• 5:54
  you, some people I've talked to, some people, they be cheating
• 5:57
  and they be taking their it's just such, oh, it is such a,
• 6:01
  it's such a mind thing. But they the night before is an
• 6:05
  important telltale sign if you're going to have a bad
• 6:08
  evening or bad day with a narcissist, right?
• 6:11
  And again, it doesn't have to be yelling or screaming, y'all,
• 6:14
  They how do I say this? Like it doesn't have to be
• 6:18
  yelling or screaming. It doesn't have to be the silent
• 6:21
  treatment. They can just be picking on you.
• 6:24
  Like they can just be nitpicking and every single thing that is
• 6:27
  going on. They can just be nitpicking on
• 6:29
  every single thing that's going on and they just take it out on
• 6:32
  you. Like everything they, they're,
• 6:33
  they're belittling, belittling you or the kids or whoever it is
• 6:37
  the entire day before. And so you can tell it's going
• 6:41
  to be a night, you can tell it's going to be a bad day.
• 6:44
  Another sign then it's going to be a bad day with a narcissist,
• 6:48
  right? And this is for if y'all go to
• 6:50
  sleep, you can like say I'm going to say this first.
• 6:53
  Just because they rage out on you or give you the silent
• 6:55
  treatment the night before, it doesn't mean that you're going
• 6:56
  to have a bad day. It could be a sign, but it
• 6:58
  doesn't mean it's absolutely going to be a sign because
• 7:01
  sometimes they'll rage out on you or give you the silent
• 7:03
  treatment and then the next day pretend like nothing happened,
• 7:07
  which can also put you in a different mood as well.
• 7:09
  You can. You can have a bad day after
• 7:12
  they've done something negative negative to you the night
• 7:14
  before, but they'll wake up the next day and pretend nothing has
• 7:17
  happened. Hey babe, they didn't yell at
• 7:19
  you and threw There's a hole. There's literally a hole in the
• 7:21
  wall. Hey babe.
• 7:22
  And you're like you. You didn't punch that hole.
• 7:27
  You didn't punch that hole in the wall.
• 7:28
  What the heck? What's?
• 7:29
  Wrong with you, you know, So that's part of it.
• 7:33
  So you can understand that part right there as well, right?
• 7:35
  So it doesn't guarantee you have a bad day the next day, but
• 7:38
  there are signs. So another thing y'all is you
• 7:41
  can have a bad day with an arses is drum roll.
• 7:49
  They act, they're acting differently at work.
• 7:51
  Notice the behaviors. If they're always texting you
• 7:53
  while they're at work or you're when y'all are apart throughout
• 7:57
  the day, they're always texting you.
• 7:58
  But now they've reserved. Now they've retreated within
• 8:01
  themselves. You haven't heard from them.
• 8:02
  They don't. They're not responding to your
• 8:03
  calls, your text messages, but they come home at the same time.
• 8:06
  Buckle up. If their behaviors have shifted
• 8:09
  through the day, their communication behaviors,
• 8:10
  behaviors have shifted throughout the day.
• 8:13
  Buckle up because they're coming for you, right?
• 8:17
  You have to be ready for that because like, they are going to
• 8:20
  come for you, you know, and I just tell this to people all the
• 8:22
  time, and it sucks that I have to say this, but like, that's
• 8:24
  the mentality of some narcissistic people.
• 8:26
  They will absolutely come for you.
• 8:29
  They are, they like they'll be angry that something happened at
• 8:32
  work and they'll just refuse to text you all day, refuse to call
• 8:35
  you all day, come home and just take it out on you.
• 8:38
  You have a bad day. They, they, they can take it out
• 8:40
  on you. You have a bad day, right,
• 8:42
  because they had a bad day or they're just being obtuse at
• 8:45
  work or whatever the case may be, they will take it out on
• 8:48
  you. So notice the signs of how
• 8:49
  they're communicating with you throughout the day or lack
• 8:52
  thereof, or if they're over communicating with you or if
• 8:55
  they're angrily communicating with you, like pay attention to
• 8:58
  how they're communicating with you because they can be a
• 9:01
  telltale sign that you're going to have a bad day as well,
• 9:03
  right? And whatnot.
• 9:05
  They can help wake you up and help you understand what you're
• 9:09
  going through and what you're going to experience that this,
• 9:11
  the, this, the mindset, this is the mentality of narcissistic
• 9:14
  people. Like they will ruin your day and
• 9:17
  take it out on you because of how things are going, you know,
• 9:21
  and I'll tell you one more. I'll add one thing to this job
• 9:23
  because I'm, I'm trying to keep my video between 11:13 minutes.
• 9:26
  Now I'll say this last thing. Another telltale sign that
• 9:30
  you're going to have a bad day with a narcissist is if you make
• 9:33
  an error. If you make an error or not even
• 9:38
  an error. Y'all perceived the error.
• 9:40
  You didn't have to do anything wrong.
• 9:41
  They can think that you did something wrong.
• 9:44
  How crazy is that? That they can actually think
• 9:50
  make it make it seem like you did something wrong to them.
• 9:53
  Like if you if something, if they because narcissists have
• 9:56
  patterns, right? A lot of nurses love love
• 10:00
  consistency. They love routine even though
• 10:03
  they get bored with it. It's kind of a catch 22.
• 10:05
  You love it, but you hate it at the same time.
• 10:07
  Like they love this consistency. They love having a routine.
• 10:10
  But guess what happens once? Like I said, once something
• 10:14
  happens or that throws that routine off a little bit, the
• 10:17
  day is going to be ruined. Even if it's first thing in the
• 10:19
  morning. If you wake up five minutes
• 10:21
  late, let's say you make their coffee in the morning for them
• 10:22
  and you wake up five minutes late and their coffee isn't
• 10:25
  ready. Bad day, they say you've run out
• 10:28
  the house and forget to say I love you.
• 10:30
  Bad day. Let's just say 'cause they say
• 10:32
  this is y'all patterns, right? And you, you this has happened.
• 10:35
  You have a bad day instead of just hey baby, you say I love
• 10:37
  you. They take it out on you.
• 10:38
  They give you the silent treatment.
• 10:40
  They've ruined the rest of your day.
• 10:41
  They refuse to answer the phone. They come home later than the
• 10:44
  usual. They go out and stay out later,
• 10:46
  later than normal, right? They go hang.
• 10:48
  They hang over those friends that you don't like.
• 10:50
  They do things to upset you. They do things to upset you.
• 10:53
  What not? So if you then I was saying, of
• 10:56
  course y'all they are probably they are probably going to make
• 11:00
  you feel like a bad person for not following the normal
• 11:04
  routine, but you're not a bad person.
• 11:06
  People make mistakes. People make people make errors.
• 11:09
  And again, sometimes you won't even actually make a mistake.
• 11:13
  They might this perceive it as a mistake.
• 11:15
  They might think you made a mistake.
• 11:17
  They might tell themselves that you made an error.
• 11:18
  You could hug and kiss them goodbye and tell you, tell them
• 11:21
  that you love them right, like you normally do, and they can go
• 11:24
  to work and forget that you did it, like you didn't hug me this
• 11:26
  morning. Or they can be leaving for work.
• 11:30
  And whatever the case may be, you can be leaving for work, hug
• 11:33
  them, kiss them goodbye, and then they forget about it.
• 11:36
  And then they're mad at you and they mad at you the whole day.
• 11:39
  They forget or they misremember, or they think you made an error.
• 11:43
  So it doesn't even have to be a real error, y'all.
• 11:45
  It doesn't even have to be a real error.
• 11:47
  It could be a perceived error. This could be something that
• 11:50
  they think happened, they think it happened, they misremembered,
• 11:54
  they forgot, or they're just angry and trying to make
• 11:56
  something up because sometimes they'll be bored.
• 11:58
  And if you want to play games with you and just mess with you
• 12:00
  and just make it seem like you forgot to do something, you
• 12:03
  know, it's a cluster. Yeah, it's the mind thing.
• 12:06
  I'll leave it with this raw. Regardless of how they act,
• 12:09
  regardless of how they treat you, the only thing you actually
• 12:12
  can control is your reactions and how you behave afterwards,
• 12:15
  right? That's really the only thing you
• 12:16
  can control. You can do everything perfectly
• 12:19
  and they can still be mad at you, remember?
• 12:21
  Remember I said earlier, you can be doing everything perfectly
• 12:24
  and they be cheating on you or they have a bad day at work and
• 12:27
  something, some type of outside influence, messes with them and
• 12:31
  they take it out on you. You get to be the recipient of
• 12:33
  abuse because somebody else messed with them, somebody else
• 12:37
  did them wrong, somebody else wronged them, and they feel like
• 12:39
  they have to take it out of you. It's a vicious, vicious cycle.
• 12:43
  You are in control of you. Stay happy.
• 12:45
  Be at peace. Yeah, I'll turn.
• 12:46
  Hit that. If you were watching this on
• 12:47
  YouTube, hit the little bell notification turn that turn turn
• 12:51
  those notifications on so you don't miss an upload.
• 12:53
  I'm uploading more videos got a new mic on.
• 12:56
  I got to tell I got a new mic, a new rode mic and it's clear
• 12:59
  crystal clear. And also my podcast is starting.
• 13:02
  I'm starting to do recordings here soon for my podcast.
• 13:05
  So you don't you don't want to miss the interview uploads as
• 13:07
  well, because if if this I might, I might have to start a
• 13:10
  whole new channel for the podcast.
• 13:11
  If this you know the notifications don't go up and
• 13:13
  people don't watch the actual long videos but we'll see Y'all
• 13:16
  hit the subscribe button as well and I am out peace.
• 13:20
  Before you go make sure that you hit that subscribe button if you
• 13:23
  haven't already. Y'all you already here just hit
• 13:25
  the button. Also you can find my coaching,
• 13:28
  my courses, my one on ones. Everything is available at my
• 13:30
  website, mentalillness.net, kids book, self love journal.
• 13:34
  Also check out joining the channel memberships as well.
• 13:36
  Y'all thank you so much for being here.
• 13:38
  I'm super grateful I'm out. Peace.