Transcript

Ep. 74 Bog Bodies · Privycast

0:19
>> Speaker A: Welcome back to privy. Privy is a
0:21
podcast about bathrooms recorded
0:24
from my home bathroom. I'm your host,
0:27
hunter Hoover, and I love
0:30
bathrooms. Welcome back. It's spooky
0:33
season, and, um,
0:35
so. Huh. Hope you don't have
0:38
the hoogity boogities. Uh, we're going
0:41
to have some kind, uh, of
0:43
themed spooky, kind of
0:46
creepy episodes coming up, so we, um, look
0:49
forward to those. I want to share. Uh, actually, it's kind of become
0:52
somewhat of a joke, uh, amongst some of my friends and I
0:55
about how I start the episodes, and they're like,
0:57
yeah, to
1:00
where? Now? Because I have made so
1:03
much comment about how certain
1:07
fast food and sit down restaurant establishments
1:10
has affected my bathrooming. Anytime we
1:13
attempt to go out to eat anywhere, it is
1:16
met with some sort of comment about, hey,
1:19
are you sure you want to do it? Because don't you
1:22
know what's coming up? But here's what I'm going to
1:25
say. So, Applebee's,
1:27
schmapplebees, first of all, I think my
1:30
body is just kind of, like,
1:33
gastrointestinally, um, bipolar as to what's going
1:36
to cause this, because I used
1:39
to be able to go to Applebee's and I would get just the small
1:42
little boat of wings. We're talking eight wings,
1:45
not spicy sauce, because I'm a spice
1:47
coward. Uh, and it would
1:50
just do me a foul every time.
1:53
But now you must know,
1:56
Applebee's has put out all you can
1:59
eat boneless wings, and it's
2:01
like $12. And so, naturally,
2:05
the college group and I, like, first time we
2:08
get there and we see this, we're like, well, it's
2:11
time we overdo it. And by the
2:14
end of the ordeal, I was at least
2:17
18 to 24 wings deep.
2:19
And based on what I've
2:22
shared on the show, you would think, well, Hunter,
2:25
you did it to yourself. But here's what I'm here to say.
2:28
I think I crossed the tummy
2:31
threshold of Applebee's wings
2:33
because I'm here to report. I
2:36
did this twice. I did this. That comes
2:39
with a boat of ten, and then they bring you a boat of
2:42
four or five wings afterwards. And I
2:45
did two visits of
2:48
18 to 24 wings per
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visit. And on both visits, I didn't
2:53
wake up at three a. Um, m feeling like I was
2:56
going to soil both myself and
2:59
the bed that I share with my lovely wife.
3:02
Um, and so there's
3:05
what I like to call the Applebee's buffalo
3:08
chicken wing butter zone, which is, I believe
3:11
if you consume more than
3:14
15 Applebee's boneless
3:16
wings, your stomach and your
3:19
tummy and probably your colon. Just decide,
3:22
you know what? We're going to give him a pass. Uh,
3:24
let's not even try to process this.
3:27
Let's just let the whole thing pass
3:30
and save him all the turmoil
3:32
and gas. So the key is to
3:35
eat too much, it would seem.
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But again, happy spooktober.
3:41
Spoop. Okay, have this written out.
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Spooptober.
3:47
Spooptober.
3:49
Because of October and
3:52
the word spooky and the word
3:54
poop,
3:57
today we're going to be talking about
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bogs. And the term
4:02
bog has become somewhat of
4:05
a euphemism for the toilet or
4:08
just kind of bathroom things in
4:11
general. Like, sometimes I sog
4:14
my bog real hard, you know what I'm saying? And then
4:16
there's the term bog roll, the good old
4:19
toilet paper. Um, my wife,
4:22
maui, must have gotten to this roll
4:25
because it is facing over.
4:28
Um, more on that later on,
4:31
whatever. And honestly, the term
4:34
bog is one of the
4:36
perfect terms for the things that
4:40
go on in a bathroom. Like, it's
4:42
brown, it's squelchy, it's
4:45
generally damp. Like, if you have
4:48
ever had a particularly
4:51
swampy job, you peek back there
4:54
and the thought comes to mind, that's swampy.
4:57
That's like a bog, if you will.
5:00
Um, I found if I consume too
5:03
much fatty meat, that
5:06
some of that fat and oil makes its way
5:08
through, and it is just
5:11
ripe and swampy. But
5:14
the term bog is a phenomenal
5:17
name. The term was originally
5:20
used in the English, uh, to
5:23
describe the cesspit that is dug
5:26
underneath a privy or latrine. You got to
5:29
go plop one in the bog, they might say. They
5:32
definitely said that back then. Later,
5:35
the term began to be used for the actual
5:38
facility, the privy itself, instead of
5:41
just the hole dug underneath it, you would just
5:43
call the entire thing the bog. You'd have to go out
5:46
and use the bog. Um, I'm plogged the
5:49
bog. You get it.
5:52
But if you're a scientist or a
5:54
geographer or somebody who maybe is
5:57
more acutely aware of biomes,
6:00
shout out to all the Minecraft nerds who
6:03
are guys. M there's a
6:06
sweet biome. It's got
6:08
ICE. It's got ICE in your
6:10
biomes. And I
6:13
don't know if there's a bog biome. I
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don't know. Kids
6:19
these days, they don't understand habitats and
6:21
ecosystems. Okay, old man, rant time.
6:24
Um, they call it a biome because of
6:27
Minecraft. And so I'm here to
6:30
tell you that it's like pretty much the same thing. And I know that, again, there's
6:33
probably somebody out there that's like, well, actually, there
6:36
is a difference between a biome and an eco,
6:39
but what is it really? It's the same thing in our
6:42
brain. It evokes the same idea
6:45
and gives us the same emotional
6:47
response. But there is this category
6:50
of environment called a
6:53
bog that consequently looks a lot
6:56
like the bogs people make. Sometimes
7:00
a bog or bog land,
7:02
is a wetland that accumulates peat.
7:05
Now, yeah,
7:08
Pete, the substance, not Pete, the
7:11
guy. If I had to explain
7:14
that, I'm sorry, but it is
7:17
not full of. Well, one moment.
7:20
Pete might actually be in the bog, is what we're going to find out
7:23
today, um, as a deposit. So that, Pete, is
7:26
a deposit of dead plant material, often
7:28
moss. Typically. Typically
7:35
moss. It is one of the four main types of
7:37
wetlands. Bogs. They're great.
7:40
Bogs are like wetlands that get covered with small
7:43
shrubs and earth, and it is rooted
7:46
in sphagnum moss deposits. And
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as the plants in the bog die,
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they settle down in that
7:54
murky mixture onto the
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bottom of the surrounding marshy
7:59
wetland. These bogs are wet.
8:02
They're damp, moist,
8:06
wet. That's for all the
8:09
people out there that are just like. I hate the word
8:12
moist, moist, moist.
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And way more often than not, they've been found
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to have, huh. A lot more than
8:21
peat and water in plants, because, as
8:24
noted, huh, these bogs were an excellent
8:27
source of peat. And there are records of people
8:29
going out there to gather the peat moss
8:32
for fuel. And if you're hearing all this,
8:35
you're going, here we go. We got another episode
8:38
where hunter yaks about something that doesn't have to do
8:41
with bathrooms. We already talked about it. The term bog
8:44
is what it has to do. We're going to talk about the creepy thing
8:47
now as they're out there. Someone
8:50
went out to gather their peat, and they're
8:53
digging and they're digging and they're like,
8:55
man, that looks
8:58
oddly like a human face poking out of the
9:00
bog. Well, that's because it
9:03
was. And they uncovered a body.
9:07
The year is 1640 Holstein,
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Germany. This is the first recorded bog
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body discovery of what would turn out to be
9:15
many, many bog bodies.
9:18
Today on the show, we discuss those bog
9:21
bodies. What are they doing there?
9:23
And perhaps, what can
9:26
we learn from them or be afraid of from
9:29
them? For centuries, people assumed that these
9:32
uncovered cadavers were just the bodies
9:35
of recently deceased folks who
9:37
had been murdered and their bodies dumped in the bog in recent
9:40
history, like there's some sort of
9:43
conflict in the area. Dude murks the other guy and tosses
9:46
him in the bog and cleans his
9:49
hands of it.
9:52
The weird thing is that bodies continued to
9:55
turn up in these bogs all over
9:58
Europe. Like, people are going out to gather their peat
10:01
again, the moss, and they come
10:03
back with Pete, the guy sometimes.
10:06
And they thought that these folks had just died within a few
10:09
years of being found. That is,
10:12
until they started to dig up
10:14
bodies, uh,
10:17
that had interesting Jewelry and markings
10:20
and things about the bodies that
10:23
did not match the time Period that they were
10:26
in. One of the most
10:28
famous instances of this was a
10:31
bog body found in Denmark in
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1843. This bog body
10:37
was buried with a bunch of
10:40
glass beads and bronze
10:42
pins that,
10:44
interestingly, were not native one to
10:47
that time period that they were found. So the body
10:50
was found in 1843, but they're like,
10:53
man, these things are not from our
10:55
time. Like, they are from a time past.
10:59
The body, this body that was dug up in
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Denmark was given, quote, a christian
11:05
burial by the Community. That is, it was put
11:08
in a coffin and put 6ft under. But
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later, the queen, the queen of
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Denmark back then, the queen gave the Order to
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dig the body up to research the phenomenon.
11:19
Because somebody was like, listen, the stuff that we found
11:22
with the body doesn't match, like, our day and age.
11:25
This stuff's old. Like, this body has been in there
11:28
a while. And the reason it's
11:31
weird is because when
11:34
they find the bodies, the reason they think that they
11:37
were only
11:39
deceased for a little bit was because the bodies
11:42
are, like, mostly intact when they find them.
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That's the weird part. And so,
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you know what they say, when you go grave
11:52
digging, you're always going to discover more than you
11:55
want. I know I always hear him say that
11:58
the body, um, was
12:01
believed to have been,
12:03
uh, it was sent to Denmark and it was believed to have been
12:06
queen Gunhild. I hope I'm getting that
12:09
right. My apologies to Mrs.
12:11
Gunhild. But, um,
12:14
others disputed this claim that it was queen
12:17
Gunhild, stating that the body in question was
12:20
likely much older than
12:23
even over 500 years old when they found
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it. They're like, okay, we found it, 1800, but this thing is
12:28
like, probably, uh, before the year 1200.
12:31
Like old, old thing. Because
12:34
again, for the most part, it's weird. Uh, other than
12:37
like, minor discoloration of the
12:40
skin, these bodies are
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mostly intact, preserved, it would
12:45
seem, by the bog.
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It is surmised that most
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of the bodies found in these
12:54
bogs were people who
12:56
lived during the Iron Age. Now,
12:59
it gets spookier, because many of these
13:02
bodies are found with what
13:05
would have been valuable jewelry and fixtures.
13:09
Nowadays, it's not uncommon. When you lay
13:12
a loved one to rest, they might be buried with a piece of
13:14
jewelry, uh, or some sort of heirloom thing
13:17
that was important to them. But back
13:20
then, this stuff was of high value, and
13:23
to put it with someone who was
13:25
dead, you wouldn't do that
13:28
normally, unless this was some
13:31
sort of ceremony or observance.
13:34
So it also appears,
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I should note that some of these bodies appeared to have been
13:39
strangled or had other methods of
13:42
being killed. It is
13:45
guessed that many of these bog bodies
13:48
dating to this period are part of a medieval
13:50
votive sacrifice. Now, votive
13:53
sacrifices are sacrifices that are,
13:56
like, dumped. They are not
13:59
returned to. They're kind of like a sacrifice
14:02
that you just kind of leave and let nature take its course
14:05
on. And so they're making these
14:08
votive sacrifices offered to whatever
14:11
deity it is being made to in the
14:13
midst of the bog. And likely these bodies are
14:16
dumped out in the bog and left, as
14:19
sacrifice often dorned, with a number of
14:21
ornaments to make this offering better.
14:24
Now, bogs, it seemed, in this
14:27
time, had some sort of place of
14:29
religious esteem. I noted
14:32
that they got a lot of their fuel for fire from the
14:35
peat. They would dry it. They would also, um, have
14:38
used that for fertilizing and other
14:41
things. And so it's very possible that they viewed
14:44
something about these bogs as kind of
14:47
something, um, of high valuable or
14:50
of high value or something that they would
14:52
call on or evoke in some way.
14:56
It's likely these bodies are dumped out in the
14:58
bog and left as sacrifice, often
15:01
adorned with ornaments. Bogs, it seemed,
15:04
again, held this weird place.
15:07
So maybe the English me
15:10
using this bog as a euphemism
15:13
for where they skeet their deed is a little
15:15
rude, or
15:18
maybe it's just so fitting. Causes of death
15:21
were widespread, and these bodies have been bound pretty much
15:24
everywhere you find a bog or a swamp. Our
15:27
own Us of a USA.
15:29
USA has even been
15:32
home to some of these bog bodies. And if
15:35
you want to find a weird
15:38
and probably illegal nonsense poking
15:41
up out of a swamp, you don't have to look much farther than the state of
15:44
Florida. Like, if you're going hunting to find
15:47
some randy business sticking up out of a
15:49
swamp, Florida is your
15:52
spot. It's believed that most
15:55
of these Florida bog people. Go look it up if you don't
15:58
believe me. Florida bog people are the remains of
16:00
Native Americans, Native Floridians, who had
16:03
been buried when the sea level was much lower.
16:07
The skeletons and some organs of these
16:09
bodies are preserved because
16:12
of the chemical makeup and stuff going on in the bog.
16:15
More on that in a moment. The swamp
16:18
provides something of, like, a
16:21
natural mummification process.
16:24
And to make it even spookier, because, again,
16:27
it's
16:29
spooktober, we got to
16:32
point out the frequency has increased in
16:34
modern years because as rainfall and
16:37
water levels decrease and the weather
16:40
adjusts, the water levels and water tables are
16:43
lowering and more of these bodies are
16:45
being exposed.
16:49
But this is privy. Where's
16:51
all the potty talk? Where's the talk
16:55
about the leavings? Like, we get the bog
16:58
bodies are freaky. And we get, like, bog.
17:00
But get to the part where you talk about the
17:03
turds. Well, wait no longer,
17:06
because as noted for some of these
17:09
bog bodies, the organs and,
17:11
uh, innards are mostly intact.
17:14
And inside a couple of those innards, they have been
17:17
able to go in and find partially
17:20
digested skeet to the point where they have been
17:23
able to tell what those blokes and
17:26
bloquettes were noshing on before
17:29
cooking it. Nope. Cooking food
17:32
before dying.
17:35
One of the most famous bog body
17:38
innard studies, the study of the dukey of a
17:41
bog body. We're, like, three layers deep
17:44
on this bee right now. And one of the
17:47
most famous is the Toland man.
17:49
Toland man dated to have died around
17:52
400 BCE via
17:55
hanging. Um, it is believed this was in relation
17:58
to one of those ritual sacrifices noted
18:00
earlier in Denmark. The
18:03
body was then preserved for
18:05
2400 years.
18:08
And then after all that time, he
18:10
took a peek inside the tum tum of this guy.
18:13
So somebody is just putzing along year
18:16
2000 y two k probably after
18:19
that. But they're just out for an
18:22
afternoon stroll through the bog. You know how you
18:24
do? And they see Talland man,
18:27
not his name, but for our
18:30
purposes, his name, poking up out of the
18:33
bog. And they're, huh, huh. Well, there he is.
18:36
And they turned him over, and they're like, you know what we should do to this one?
18:39
Should cut his stomach open and figure out what he ate. Let's
18:41
root around in his pre deuce and find out
18:44
what was going to be part of the
18:47
deuce. The tallened man
18:49
seems to have a final meal, an
18:52
estimated twelve to 24 hours before his
18:55
death. The meal consisted
18:58
of. And I'll try to post pictures of
19:01
this in the privy social stuff, but I'm
19:04
going to call it whack porridge, because the
19:07
thing says porridge. But my dude I have eaten
19:10
porridge, and this is the most coarse porridge I have
19:13
ever seen. Now, I've shared, um, I'm pretty
19:16
laxadaisical about where I'll go to the bathroom.
19:18
I would have survived in pre
19:21
modern times, bathroom wise. Like, I'll skeet it in the street
19:24
if I have to, but if I had to eat this
19:28
Frankenstein goldilocks in, however
19:31
many bears got their mitts up in this porridge,
19:34
no way, dude. This thing is looking real
19:37
fibrous. Um. And
19:40
served right alongside everybody's favorite
19:42
porridge pairing dish,
19:44
fish. Yummy. That
19:47
sucks. Last meals, porridge and fish, raw.
19:50
Deal. Taller man like guy also had
19:53
parasites in there. Not great. Very bad.
19:56
But more detailed tests were run in 2019
19:58
and 2020. That's moderately
20:01
recent, I would say. And taller man's
20:04
large intestine came up with some
20:07
interesting things. Um, and it
20:09
actually told scientists, people in those
20:12
lab coats, what the plant life
20:15
in Denmark was, like 2000
20:18
years earlier. You know what I'm saying?
20:21
It's a cool thing. Some of these
20:24
tests can even tell what the Talland man
20:27
cooked his porridge in. They believe it was a
20:30
clay pot. And I imagine it was a safe
20:33
bet for anybody cooking anything back then.
20:36
Like, they didn't have Teflon. Do you know what I'm
20:38
saying? Inside
20:42
the bog, there are
20:44
bodies, and inside
20:47
the body, there is a bog.
20:50
It goes full circle with these wild bodies.
20:54
This brings us to the end of bog bodies.
20:57
But I want to share just a
20:59
brief segment of
21:03
poo in the news
21:09
at the time of recording. This article
21:12
is about two weeks old,
21:15
apparently. Um, on a flight to
21:17
Miami. You know, when you're
21:20
flying, sometimes the bathroom stitch is not
21:23
that great. And here's the deal. Sometimes
21:26
flying messes with people's tum tums,
21:28
but on a flight to Miami in the
21:31
middle of September, vice president at Founders
21:34
Fund. I don't know what that is, because I don't care.
21:37
But Mike Solana had
21:40
his bulldog accompanying him along the flight.
21:43
Now, um, this is
21:46
not a commentary on that, but it seems to
21:49
me like you got a rich dude who was
21:52
demanding to have his dog with him on the flight. Might be an emotional
21:54
thing, might be a service dog, I don't know. But I'm
21:57
going to argue that maybe not those, because
22:01
it started with this little bulldog, and he's got it in the seat
22:04
next to him. M and some lady on the
22:07
plane did what ladies on the plane do. They said, hey,
22:10
oh, he's so cute. And he hopped up in her
22:12
lap. But then it would appear that the
22:15
change in altitude or something was up with this
22:18
bulldog because he
22:21
went full diarrhea hound right
22:24
in this lady's lap. Of
22:26
course, if a dog diarrhea is in your
22:29
lap, you're going to get him off your lap.
22:32
But she did. So at which point, this
22:34
bulldog, now covered in his own poop, and
22:37
probably still having the poop come out of his backside,
22:40
is running up and down the plane as it is in
22:43
flight. People are freaking out. They're
22:45
screaming. It's just poop
22:48
everywhere. The diarrhea
22:51
dog. That's it right there. Diarrhea dog
22:53
was eventually corralled. Um, flight attendants
22:56
used a biohazard kit to clean up. Uh, they
22:59
covered the poop stained seats with blankets, offered
23:02
wine. It's like, here is booze
23:05
to make you forget, you know what I'm saying,
23:08
to the most afflicted up front dude sitting in
23:11
business class. Let me translate that for you. Rich guy with
23:14
Bulldog in business class gets poop over, all
23:17
over other rich people in business class. There it is. Three
23:20
days later, Solana's. Yeah, this dude tweeted, nobody gives a
23:23
crap. And there's this discussion now about whether dogs
23:26
should be allowed on planes. Now, I would say this.
23:29
Don't let the dookie, diarrhea dog
23:31
ruin plane riding for all dogs.
23:36
They've ridden on a plane before. Like,
23:39
this guy's dog couldn't snuff it, and he
23:42
snuffed it all over the place.
23:45
But it's just great. Even in the year 2022 of
23:48
our Lord, we're getting stories
23:51
about dogs shazzzing themselves
23:54
royal. And the last thing to probably
23:56
affect an airline so much was COVID. So maybe it
23:59
was a good change of pace for us.
24:02
There's notes from many airlines about
24:05
how this has happened in the past. Uh,
24:08
and so, as for running around, there's
24:10
restrictions on emotional support
24:13
animals that they need to, um,
24:16
attend their person. So, like
24:20
train service dogs can fly, but
24:23
I would say that most of them are not going to have this problem.
24:26
So it's an interesting thing. Imagine, um, the
24:28
terrifying. Remember, it's Spooktober. And so
24:31
imagine the terror of being stuck on a plane while this
24:34
dog just dookie runs back and forth.
24:38
And that is it for this segment of who in the
24:41
news.
24:45
And this brings us to the end of another episode of
24:48
Privy. Thank you so much for joining us. Um,
24:50
as always, we would love for you to leave us a rating or
24:53
review. A five star option is our preferred,
24:56
and you can do that on Spotify and Apple
24:58
podcasts. Uh, leave us a full review on Apple Podcasts.
25:01
We'll try to read them here on the show. We'd love to get
25:04
that. It just helps people find the show and the important work that's going
25:07
on here. Follow the show on social. We're at Privycast.
25:10
Send us an email
25:11
privycast@gmail.com. We'd
25:14
love to hear from you. Give us episode suggestions, shout
25:17
outs, those type things. It would be great.
25:20
We'd like to thank Kevin McLeod for
25:23
the use of barroom ballet as our intro and outro
25:26
music. You can find Kevin's
25:28
music@incompetent.com and his music is
25:31
licensed under Creative Commons license Attribution
25:34
40. Thanks, Kevin.
25:37
We'd also like to thank Pottington Bear for the use
25:40
of camp as the poointhews
25:42
intro and outro music. You can find Pottington
25:45
Bear's music ah@pottingtonbear.com.
25:48
Thanks, Pottington. This has been another
25:51
episode of Privy. Thank you so much for joining us.
25:54
And now, as always,
25:58
don't forget to flush.