Latest / How To Talk To Humans / How to Leverage Vocabulary to Make Yourself Impossible to Ignore #88

Transcript

How to Leverage Vocabulary to Make Yourself Impossible to Ignore #88 · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:03
  Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is how to talk to humans. This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills. Are you looking to get a better job? Are you looking to find a relationship? Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far? I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:27
  Now. I can only do it with humans.
• 0:30
  If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies, extraterrestrials, this is not the show for you. But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned from 40 years in show business, working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world, and their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:54
  What I'm going to be teaching you.
• 0:56
  During the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use.
• 1:03
  To communicate toward success. In a prior podcast, I had referred to the power of vocabulary and why it's so important. And this actually touches on a number of different things. Sometimes you hear people use jargon, and by this I mean sometimes they're acronyms, sometimes they're words that would only be known by people in a specific profession. And Jargon really is the language of insecurity. We use jargon when we're trying to make outsiders feel insecure.
• 1:58
  You don't really need to do this.
• 2:00
  You don't need to make people feel excluded. But sometimes if we're not sure, if we're afraid that maybe we don't sound smart enough, or we don't sound enough like an expert, or we don't have all the answers that someone's have to do, you'll see. This is a very common thing that people start to say, well, the DRM's have to be actuated so that they will fit in with all of our sls by the end of this course.
• 2:32
  Well, that's designed specifically to make outsiders feel off balance.
• 2:39
  Oh, I don't know what the sl is. Oh, God.
• 2:43
  Well, I don't think that's good communication. I don't want to exclude anyone. I want to include everyone.
• 2:52
  I want everyone to feel a connection with me.
• 2:58
  I want them to feel like they.
• 3:00
  Can understand perfectly when you have complicated instructions. I always feel this is a sign that someone's bluffing, because nothing should be so complicated that people can't understand it.
• 3:18
  If it's highly technical, maybe it's scientific, maybe it's mathematical. Well, some of those things maybe require more specific vocabulary.
• 3:33
  But you'll see a lot of this.
• 3:35
  Taking place where it's totally unnecessary. And the whole reason is solely to make the people who are speaking feel like I know something you don't.
• 3:50
  And the people who don't know the.
• 3:52
  Jargon are left to feel on the.
• 3:55
  Outside with their noses pressed against the glass.
• 3:57
  Now, sometimes, I guess people use this as a scientific and psychological attempt to make people want to earn their approval. It's not my place to tell you whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I personally don't do that. I feel it's manipulative.
• 4:26
  And I think that you can communicate clearly enough using all the Wilson method.
• 4:32
  Techniques so that anyone can understand you. If they can't, I'm a little suspicious.
• 4:43
  Either you're not communicating clearly or they're.
• 4:48
  Purposefully trying not to understand. And sometimes you'll see this, there's a, a term, a psychological term called passive aggressive behavior.
• 5:03
  And it's very common, particularly in business.
• 5:07
  Well, it's also in personal relationships. But you'll see it in business where a passive aggressive behavior is where you.
• 5:16
  Are not communicating directly. You're not saying what's really going on with you or what you want.
• 5:24
  Instead, you're passively presenting some idea or state of mind or position in the hopes that you will make someone else.
• 5:38
  Do your bidding, do what you want without you having to expressly state that.
• 5:47
  I can think immediately. I don't know why, but immediately, example popped in my head. That's on a personal, it's not my life. But I've heard sometimes, I've heard some wives complain that their husbands can't do the laundry. Whenever he does laundry, he messes it up and I'll say, so what happens? Well, I'll just do it. Oh, really?
• 6:16
  Well, that's passive aggressive behavior on the husband's part.
• 6:20
  Of course, if you're able to feed yourself and dress yourself, you can figure.
• 6:25
  Out how to do the laundry.
• 6:27
  Believe me, it's not that hard. In fact, there's laundry machines I've seen recently where I just put my clothes in and it determined by itself what it needed to do and off it went. So that behavior, I hope I'm not.
• 6:43
  Blowing someone's cover here.
• 6:44
  Who's listening?
• 6:45
  Who's going, hey, Icksnay, Larry, Ixnay. It's been working great for years.
• 6:50
  That's passive aggressive behavior in business when somebody who's supposed to be working with you and you say, I need you.
• 6:59
  To do this specific assignment and here.
• 7:00
  The thing, and they mess it up.
• 7:03
  Well, maybe you weren't clear.
• 7:07
  I always believe if there's confusion.
• 7:10
  You should always start with yourself. Maybe I wasn't clear. Let me go back and reiterate my.
• 7:17
  Message and try to make it even clearer. So it's impossible to misunderstand me.
• 7:25
  If the person continues to misunderstand you, that may be passive aggressive behavior.
• 7:30
  Because what will happen is if you say, well, you know, Nick always gets this wrong. I'm just going to do it for him.
• 7:41
  Well, now Nick has gotten you to do his work for him.
• 7:45
  That's passive aggressive. And that's Nick willfully choosing to pretend he doesn't understand. If Nick worked at my company, he'd have a lot of free time on his hands. Cause I'd fire him. I don't blame Nick, or, I'm not interested in whatever psychological problems Nick may have.
• 8:14
  But I don't want him working for my company.
• 8:18
  I want people who have great enthusiasm for learning.
• 8:24
  I don't think everyone has to be an expert at everything. But I would love to have people who say, I don't know anything about this, but I'm going to do everything I can to become an expert at it.
• 8:39
  To me, that's an ideal employee.
• 8:42
  Because the more I tell them, the more I show them. They may be making notes. They may be saying, can I record this as a zoom so that I.
• 8:52
  Can go back and revert whatever it is. That's a perfect employee.
• 8:58
  I began this talking about vocabulary. Your vocabulary shades, what you say. It makes it easier for people to get the nuance of what you're saying.
• 9:12
  And in fact, in all your communications, it makes you more interesting. Because there's more colors in your verbal paint box that you're using. I can see greater depth and dimension to what you're trying to communicate. In fact, this brings up the question.
• 9:41
  Of the overuse that's very common. Now. I'm also kind of. I'm making jokes at my own expense.
• 9:49
  I said, it's very common of overuse of the word very. There's nothing wrong with the word very.
• 9:56
  It's a very nice word. It's very prevalent nowadays to hear people simply use it because they're lazy.
• 10:06
  Because it's easier than thinking about what it is you're trying to communicate. And finding a more precise word, a.
• 10:17
  Word that gives a different meaning, a shading of a meaning.
• 10:21
  Instead of saying, it's very cold, you could say, it's frigid. Instead of saying, I'm very, very, very hungry, you could say, I'm famished, I'm starving. Instead of saying, it's very, very hot. You could say it's sweltering outside.
• 10:48
  All of these words make us inclined to listen more carefully to what you're saying.
• 10:57
  When we hear very, very, very, we're kind of tuning out on all your verys until you get to the word using, you know, I'm very, very, very sleepy. Well, okay, I hear that you're very sleepy, but if you tell me I feel a little drowsy, unconsciously, I'm inclined.
• 11:24
  To listen more closely to you and.
• 11:27
  What you have to say. This is a benefit.
• 11:30
  All of these words that I just.
• 11:33
  Instead of I'm very, very shy, you could say I'm timid.
• 11:40
  These words communicate, again, semiotically, that is.
• 11:48
  Without you say the word.
• 11:51
  But there's more information that you're conveying.
• 11:54
  And when you say something like, I'm.
• 12:01
  Ravenous, unconsciously, we're getting a very clear.
• 12:05
  Message that you're more intelligent, that you're.
• 12:12
  More educated, that you're more thoughtful.
• 12:17
  I don't have to say those things. When you hear me use the word ravenous. I'm going to get in trouble for this, I can tell as I hear myself about to say it, but I'll say it anyway.
• 12:30
  A friend of mine posted online a.
• 12:32
  Woman who was a performer in a show of mine. She's fantastic. She's a dancer. She went from my show, wonderland. That was a psychedelic reimagining of Alice in Wonderland. She went from my show to Broadway and has performed on Broadway for years now, specifically in the wicked, fantastic, extraordinary athlete is what she is. And she posted a picture of herself.
• 13:04
  She's had some rough and tumble times.
• 13:08
  And she's met someone, it sounds like.
• 13:10
  Who she's really happy with. And we're all of us who knew her were so excited, delighted to see that. And she posted a picture of herself on a boat someplace, I think, in South America, speeding across some things.
• 13:24
  And she's wearing a very abbreviated costume.
• 13:27
  Shall I say, and somebody tried to post something saying, oh, your rear end looks good, you know, and they were.
• 13:39
  Trying to do it respectfully, and it did look good. And she knows it, too. She's an athlete.
• 13:44
  She's incredible. And I said, I think the word you're looking for is callipigione. Now, I don't expect you to use the word callopygian on a daily basis, but if you knew that the word callopiegian means of or relating to attractive buttocks, then you would see that and think, aha. That is the exact right word. And like I say, the more precise.
• 14:16
  Your language is, the more people will.
• 14:21
  Perceive you as having value. They feel like you see them, you hear them.
• 14:32
  You're educated, you're intelligent, you're thoughtful, you're sensitive. These are all excellent things for them.
• 14:43
  To be thinking about you.
• 14:48
  This has been Larry Wilson. I want to thank you for spending.
• 14:52
  This time with me, and I hope.
• 14:54
  You found this information useful.
• 14:56
  If you're looking for more, you can find it@thewilsonmethod.com.
• 15:01
  dot. There's a ton of stuff there.
• 15:03
  In fact, if you want, you can.
• 15:06
  Even speak to me because I'm human. Send me an email at the info@wilsonmethod.com. because I read every single one. I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey, and you'll be with me for the next episode of how to talk to humans.