Latest / All About The Joy / Finding Joy and Balance: Navigating Mental Health in a Hectic World

Transcript

Finding Joy and Balance: Navigating Mental Health in a Hectic World · All About The Joy

• 0:05
  Carmen Lezeth: okay, hi everyone, welcome to all about the joy, the private lounge.
• 0:08
  Carmen Lezeth: We have rick costa in the house how you doing, rick?
• 0:10
  Carmen Lezeth: And we have, as always, cynthia ruiz lopez I don't know why I like to say your name like that.
• 0:17
  Carmen Lezeth: How you guys doing?
• 0:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I know we're gonna have, uh, a kind of I don't want to say deep conversation, but, rick, you came in hot into the green room, so say your piece, brother, go ahead.
• 0:30
  Rick Costa: So on my broadcast I do two games.
• 0:33
  Rick Costa: One of them is called Heads Up Game and I hold up my phone away from my eyes so I can't see a word on the screen, and you guys have to give me clues to help me guess what it says on the screen.
• 0:45
  Rick Costa: The word was joy and nobody said all about the joy.
• 0:53
  Rick Costa: Nobody said all about the.
• 0:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Seriously Nobody.
• 1:00
  Rick Costa: After I said it, I typed it in quick I'm like, oh yeah, it's too late now.
• 1:03
  Carmen Lezeth: That's okay.
• 1:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Did you guess the word?
• 1:05
  Rick Costa: Oh, that's I did, I did guess it.
• 1:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Why did you have?
• 1:08
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: it like right behind you.
• 1:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I know it's right there.
• 1:12
  Carmen Lezeth: It's okay.
• 1:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Not everyone from your show watches our show, but someone I know was there.
• 1:18
  Carmen Lezeth: She should have said it.
• 1:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, Well, I mean that's so cool that you got a little upset about that.
• 1:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought it was something really, really juicy.
• 1:27
  Rick Costa: No, nothing juicy.
• 1:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Boring.
• 1:29
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm kidding.
• 1:30
  Carmen Lezeth: That's a great.
• 1:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I love that.
• 1:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You think they would do that, but you know what's so funny?
• 1:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Like people now will say joy or something and like it'll hit me like that's the name of my show.
• 1:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know it's my show.
• 1:44
  Carmen Lezeth: So well, I wanted to talk a little bit about.
• 1:47
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I I'll just say straight up Cynthia already knows part of what happened, but I'm going to talk about a couple other things, and you know, this is kind of me having a venting session, but I also just thought it might be helpful for other people.
• 2:01
  Carmen Lezeth: So on Wednesdays I work in the morning with one client and then I work with another client in the afternoon, so it's two separate clients.
• 2:09
  Carmen Lezeth: None of the staff know each other, two different entities entirely.
• 2:13
  Carmen Lezeth: And on Wednesday, in both separate offices, I had one of the staff members I'll say call me.
• 2:21
  Carmen Lezeth: One of them called me.
• 2:24
  Carmen Lezeth: One of them came into the office and both of them were so upset about an incident that happened and they were spoken too badly, they have too much work and they were both crying their eyes out.
• 2:36
  Carmen Lezeth: And it's been an ongoing thing for a while.
• 2:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, they're just so sad and upset, or whatever thing for a while, right, they're just so sad and upset or whatever.
• 2:48
  Carmen Lezeth: But it happened on the same day.
• 2:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Both of these staff people are really great at what they do, they're good people and it's just really hard for them, I guess, to function right now and they can't take any criticism.
• 3:02
  Carmen Lezeth: They can't take what our boss is telling them and, by the way, our boss or the other people are wrong.
• 3:08
  Carmen Lezeth: They shouldn't be treating them the way they're treating them.
• 3:10
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 3:10
  Carmen Lezeth: But it's the emotional kind of disintegration of being able to function that I was concerned about.
• 3:16
  Carmen Lezeth: And then the other day and Cynthia knows because I called her I had an incident with a mutual friend and it just it got me so upset and I waited a day because I knew Cynthia had just gotten back from traveling.
• 3:32
  Carmen Lezeth: But I was like this I was so angst about it, I was so upset about it and I knew I wanted to talk to Cynthia.
• 3:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And so the following day I called her and I talked to her and it was such a relief.
• 3:46
  Carmen Lezeth: And the reason why I want to talk about this is because I I don't know if either of you I know you do, but I just want to know if you want to talk about it For me.
• 3:53
  Carmen Lezeth: The two individuals at work I know I spoke to both of them.
• 4:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I think they're really in a state of depression and I told them I'm not a therapist, and one of them always says to me I just need to vent.
• 4:12
  Carmen Lezeth: And I always like I know you want to vent, but I'm not the person to vent it.
• 4:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I'm not your girlfriend and I'm also I can't take it all in.
• 4:22
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean?
• 4:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I can't.
• 4:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I know you're sad and miserable, but I don't know what else to do, and so I just feel like there's so much going on in the world right now, regardless of your political leanings, whether you are for Trump or not.
• 4:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Even people who are for Trump are also dealing with the outside part of this, which is the constant drama that's happening in our political atmosphere.
• 4:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's very heavy Hearing about plane crashes every day, hearing about people going to Guantanamo, what is it to Gitmo?
• 5:00
  Carmen Lezeth: People being fearful, people being sad, and then you like, and then then you have your own personal stuffage.
• 5:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So I've been really stressed and sad and I just wanted to talk about that a little bit and see how you guys are doing, how you deal with sadness and, more importantly, when does it transfer over to depression?
• 5:24
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So just your thoughts.
• 5:25
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I think it's different for everyone.
• 5:27
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I think at some point everyone does go through some form of depression, but, like I said, it's different for everybody.
• 5:36
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Some people really know how to kind of deal with it.
• 5:40
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Some people go to therapy.
• 5:42
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Some people may just kind of isolate themselves and just kind of deal with it.
• 5:45
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like some people go to therapy, Some people may just kind of isolate themselves and just kind of deal with it.
• 5:47
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Some may go to their family members you know things like that and talk about it.
• 5:54
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's kind of hard to pinpoint certain things when it's just a very broad, you know, kind of spectrum.
• 6:04
  Carmen Lezeth: There is a clinical definition.
• 6:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I have a clinical definition between sadness and depression.
• 6:09
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think you're right, it's different for everyone.
• 6:11
  Carmen Lezeth: Because you said something to me that not only pissed me off but it was factual.
• 6:17
  Carmen Lezeth: You said that is part of your PTSD.
• 6:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Remember, you said that part of your, and I, you know cause, I'm still in denial, cause I, when I think of PTSD, I think of military and I think of, like quote unquote, real, real depression.
• 6:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, cause that's what we do, like I can't equate to what someone went through in war.
• 6:42
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 6:43
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's what I mean horrible thing well, that's what I mean, though, like I mean, it's different for everyone.
• 6:47
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like to us, a PTSD, like you said, is something that people deal with who are in the military, but there are different forms of it well, my understanding is everyone can have uh PTSD, but it's triggered by something different for everyone, right?
• 7:05
  Carmen Lezeth: and then there's different levels, which is what you're talking about.
• 7:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Absolutely yeah, let me just give the definition, before we go down this road, of what sadness is versus uh depression, just as a you know whatever like a webmd definition.
• 7:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Uh, sadness is a natural emotion that everyone experiences in response to a specific situation or events.
• 7:28
  Carmen Lezeth: It's typically triggered by a loss, disappointment or other challenging circumstances.
• 7:33
  Carmen Lezeth: The characteristics are feeling down or blue, tearfulness and temporary drop in mood.
• 7:40
  Carmen Lezeth: The duration can be short-lived and it can be tied to a particular situation or event.
• 7:47
  Carmen Lezeth: And then depression.
• 7:50
  Carmen Lezeth: The definition for depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistent and intense feelings of sadness, hopelessness and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities.
• 8:02
  Carmen Lezeth: It goes beyond the normal fluctuations in mood.
• 8:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Characteristics are prolonged sadness or low mood, changes in appetite, sleep patterns, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, feelings of worthlessness or guilt and sometimes thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
• 8:20
  Carmen Lezeth: It can last for weeks, months or even years, and is not necessarily linked to a specific event or situation.
• 8:26
  Carmen Lezeth: So there is some differences in it.
• 8:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I think the two people that I worked with are they're not just extremely sad, they're on the road If they like.
• 8:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I said to them both I can't believe I said it in the same day because I always try to say this part, because I'm not a doctor or whatever.
• 8:47
  Carmen Lezeth: I always try to say something in front of somebody else, not to embarrass them but to have like a witness.
• 8:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, like, but I said it.
• 8:55
  Carmen Lezeth: It might be a good idea to think about getting a therapist, like to talk you through not the work part, but how you're dealing with it, like maybe this isn't for you.
• 9:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, you know, I don't know, rick.
• 9:12
  Rick Costa: Yeah, to me, like sadness is kind of temporary.
• 9:15
  Rick Costa: You pretty much get over it.
• 9:17
  Rick Costa: Something happened and you know you're kind of bummed about it.
• 9:19
  Rick Costa: But depression is usually a long, long thing, a lot longer lasting.
• 9:24
  Rick Costa: It affects you, it starts to affect your life.
• 9:26
  Rick Costa: You don't like a lot of the symptoms.
• 9:28
  Rick Costa: You said you don't even care about if you eat or not, whatever, because you just don't care about anything Like been there, done that.
• 9:35
  Rick Costa: So yeah, it's tough.
• 9:37
  Rick Costa: It's tough and if you don't have anybody to talk to it's very hard to get out of it.
• 9:41
  Rick Costa: Very hard to get out of it.
• 9:42
  Rick Costa: Very hard to get out of it.
• 9:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, that's a good point, cause I was talking about isolating.
• 9:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I was saying that, uh, I know that I'm dropping friends, like I'm, I'm done.
• 9:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Like, if somebody pisses me off, now I'm done.
• 9:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I'm done, just, I get.
• 9:59
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, actually, that's not.
• 10:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I think I've always been like that actually.
• 10:01
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm trying to think about that right now.
• 10:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me think, um, I think I've always been like that actually.
• 10:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Sorry, I'm trying to think about that right now.
• 10:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me think I've always been like that, but I guess I've given some people more leeway than not, I'll put it that way and I just, yeah, I can't take on people's bad energy anymore.
• 10:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Even if I think you're a worthy person and that I I feel indebted to you somehow, or whatever, I'm now cutting off those people, like because I don't owe anybody anything.
• 10:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, and I think that's what I was talking about with these two uh people, these two staff people too.
• 10:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Like this is this might not be for you, that's okay, but going down the rabbit hole where you're that uncontrollably crying at work.
• 10:51
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I think there's something else though.
• 10:53
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That could have just been that one little piece that just made them snap, kind of thing.
• 11:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me tell you, though one of them is valid.
• 11:05
  Carmen Lezeth: This is an ongoing problem and I get it.
• 11:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I understand why they're upset, but I'm not okay with how they're handling it.
• 11:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 11:18
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's why they do need to see a therapist, because a therapist will help them and guide them on how to deal with it, if you find the right therapist, though.
• 11:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Right that's the other part.
• 11:28
  Carmen Lezeth: It's always better to find a therapist when you don't need one because you're clear-headed.
• 11:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I know that's weird, but it's one of those things like, even if you don't need a therapist, you should know where you could find one and maybe have a free consultation or whatever.
• 11:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Uh, yeah, I don't know, because I I think it's a tough one when you're that desperate to find the right person and now you can literally get them online.
• 11:56
  Rick Costa: You don't even have to go anywhere like don't they have?
• 11:58
  Rick Costa: Like you could do a zoom or whatever virtual yeah and I've seen services where it's like if, if you start with somebody you don't like, them switch to somebody else.
• 12:07
  Rick Costa: It's no big deal until you find somebody you like.
• 12:10
  Carmen Lezeth: But the problem with that is when you're in crisis mode.
• 12:12
  Carmen Lezeth: That's when it's harder to find the right person.
• 12:16
  Carmen Lezeth: But when you're in crisis mode you should find somebody anyways, right, because you're in crisis mode.
• 12:21
  Carmen Lezeth: So that's good.
• 12:21
  Carmen Lezeth: But eventually you start to realize like, oh, maybe this isn't the right person for me, you know um, but yeah, I've never met my therapist in person, never.
• 12:31
  Carmen Lezeth: We're always we always do a zoom call, huh it's nice to have somebody.
• 12:36
  Rick Costa: That's objective too.
• 12:36
  Rick Costa: That's not part of the situation.
• 12:38
  Rick Costa: You know.
• 12:38
  Rick Costa: They can look at it with different eyes and stuff.
• 12:40
  Rick Costa: Because if you know, say, you go to your mom or something, your mom's gonna be like defending you and, yeah, you must be right and they're wrong, you know, and you're not gonna really get anywhere.
• 12:49
  Rick Costa: But with somebody who's, you know, not involved at all, they're like, okay, I can see your side, but I can see their side too, and maybe we could figure out how we can make this better somehow and not just be about sides, you know, but let's figure out I think what was interesting was when I spoke to Cynthia, I thought for sure she was going to be like Carmen you know how they are and she wasn't.
• 13:11
  Carmen Lezeth: She was like you know what?
• 13:12
  Carmen Lezeth: It's okay, you do what you got to do.
• 13:16
  Carmen Lezeth: This is where you are.
• 13:17
  Carmen Lezeth: She was very therapy like.
• 13:21
  Carmen Lezeth: But you're right, you want somebody who's objective, or somebody who can see it from a different perspective, or somebody who is fully alert and just thinking about you.
• 13:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I think that's another thing too.
• 13:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Like in my head when one of them was crying in my face, I'm like bitch, do you think I don't have a life?
• 13:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Like, do you think I'm not going through something?
• 13:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Right?
• 13:44
  Carmen Lezeth: yeah, we're all dealing with the same shit.
• 13:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like that's the other part, like we're all dealing with this same person that they're dealing with.
• 13:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, and so, but I'm trying to keep it all inside, but I'm not even focusing, because I'm in that space too.
• 14:01
  Rick Costa: Yeah, and we and we're, we're stronger on some days than others, you know, and we're stressed out on other days than we are more.
• 14:09
  Rick Costa: And just be that one day where you got that combination of you don't feel that strong and you're stressed out and then you just burst Like that's it.
• 14:18
  Rick Costa: Like.
• 14:18
  Rick Costa: Then you're like you look at yourself like I can't believe I did that.
• 14:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my gosh.
• 14:29
  Carmen Lezeth: But then it's because you just the damn broke the water bust through and it's like you know it's tough, can be tough.
• 14:31
  Carmen Lezeth: How do you deal with it?
• 14:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Because I know there was one day where you had an incident where you were upset or whatever and I wondered like and I'm not trying to ask if you have a therapist, what, I'm not trying to get all up on your business, but how do you deal with it?
• 14:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Because it's really hard for you to get out there and go like like I think I go and take a walk, I listen to music.
• 14:47
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 14:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I guess you can listen to music.
• 14:49
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like I can go take a bath and put candles and whatever, and try to relax and whatever.
• 14:56
  Carmen Lezeth: And I was thinking about you today, cause I was like poor Rick, what does he do when he has like a mental breakdown with like whatever's going on?
• 15:04
  Carmen Lezeth: How do you handle it?
• 15:07
  Rick Costa: I mean, one thing that's cool is I like to escape into fantasy, movies, shows, whatever, and I can, like you know, forget about my life, put it on the shelf for a little while and then focus on that for a while and it's like I don't Scream into a pillow.
• 15:21
  Rick Costa: Scream into a pillow, not that much into a pillow, not that much I have.
• 15:28
  Rick Costa: When I worked my first job mcdonald's, they tell you if you really really ticked off, go to the walk-in freezer and throw boxes of french fries around.
• 15:32
  Rick Costa: I've done that.
• 15:33
  Rick Costa: Customers, man, let me tell you like, because when you work for them there's people that think like they're better than you and they just treat you like crap and I'm like can you finish taking care of them because I'll be right back you know, like wait, I have to back up for a moment.
• 15:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Why would somebody going into mcdonald's to eat think they're better than the people working at mcdonald's?
• 16:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I, just you, would be surprised you would be be surprised You're going to McDonald's.
• 16:11
  Rick Costa: I am about to give you food.
• 16:13
  Rick Costa: I'm confused.
• 16:14
  Rick Costa: You really want me to spit in it?
• 16:16
  Rick Costa: That's never happened.
• 16:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Just like Jesus would do.
• 16:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Huh Rick.
• 16:21
  Rick Costa: I've never seen that happen.
• 16:22
  Rick Costa: People ask me would I do anything nasty?
• 16:24
  Rick Costa: I was like I've never seen that happen.
• 16:25
  Rick Costa: People ask people to ask me.
• 16:25
  Rick Costa: I was like would I do anything nasty?
• 16:26
  Rick Costa: I was like I've never.
• 16:26
  Rick Costa: No, I worked seven years.
• 16:28
  Rick Costa: I've never seen anybody do anything, nothing nasty, nothing like that retaliation wise or whatever I would never.
• 16:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I would never even suspect that, because I believe in the best in people.
• 16:36
  Rick Costa: But yeah, if I'm literally serving you, why would you treat me bad like doesn't make sense.
• 16:44
  Rick Costa: To me that doesn't compute.
• 16:47
  Carmen Lezeth: I think people just again, it's like if you're not dealing with your own issues, if you're not doing self-care, what I called self-preservation, so that's kind of the difference.
• 16:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I do want to talk about that.
• 16:59
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you're not really taking care of yourself on a regular basis and you don't know yourself well enough, I think you turn around and take things out on other people and I mean, I have, you know, clients and I've gotten rid of clients for doing this, but they would all the time just they talk badly to their staff, like they talk down to them, kind of like the same thing you're saying, and I was like yeah, I'm out, I'm not doing this because you actually think it's okay for you to talk badly about people.
• 17:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I think there's two different things, though.
• 17:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I think there's self-care, which is kind of what we're talking about taking moments to maybe watch a movie or take a walk or whatever it is, get a massage or whatever.
• 17:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Do these little things?
• 17:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Listen to music, I can kind of.
• 17:46
  Carmen Lezeth: But it's also about, like self-preservation, knowing when you just can't take any more like I can't take any more energy from other people being upset about something else, like go deal with that somewhere else, cause I can't help you and I don't think people ever want to put that line down.
• 18:07
  Carmen Lezeth: You know like if Cynthia had said, carmen, I can't talk to you tonight, I'd be like, okay, but right, I text you.
• 18:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I asked you whatever and I was just like are you okay?
• 18:17
  Carmen Lezeth: What?
• 18:22
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: are you doing?
• 18:23
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Are you all?
• 18:24
  Carmen Lezeth: right.
• 18:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like everything is not okay.
• 18:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you have a minute?
• 18:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I mean because, because that's what a good friend does, though, right, you, you got it, you know.
• 18:35
  Carmen Lezeth: But today I was talking to Andrea.
• 18:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Actually she says hi, but you know, just also understanding that it's not just that we're all going through something personally, there's also something in the air right now you know what I mean.
• 18:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it is just really a tough time, especially here in the United States.
• 18:56
  Carmen Lezeth: It's just a tough time because there's so much going on and that, whether you're in like, whether you're in tune with politics or not, it is affecting everyone, it is seeping through, and so doing things like not watching or listening to the news all day you know, I started only getting news like I don't get any news on my phone.
• 19:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't get any headlines, I don't get any of that.
• 19:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I just get five minutes in the morning from an independent journalist that I really respect, and then I get five minutes in the evening from another independent journalist, because they post at different times, and so that's it, five minutes of news.
• 19:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I just want the headlines, that's it.
• 19:35
  Carmen Lezeth: And then, like trying to not do it at all on Sunday, like why is there news on Sunday?
• 19:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Why, why?
• 19:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Why you know what I mean Like there should be no news on Sunday.
• 19:45
  Carmen Lezeth: So even doing that, trying to understanding that there's other stuff happening that is affecting you as well, and even if it's not politics, it's family or whatever.
• 19:57
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, and then there's also seasonal depression that people go through and you know, and that's hard too, because it's like what do you do in the winter time?
• 20:08
  Carmen Lezeth: That was a made up thing.
• 20:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that a real thing?
• 20:10
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm not saying it is.
• 20:11
  Carmen Lezeth: Is it a real thing?
• 20:13
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It is a real thing, you know, especially in the winter time, you know you're stuck in the house, you really can't go anywhere, Especially you know older people who can't travel on them?
• 20:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, Look at me, I'm like what the sun is shining here.
• 20:27
  Carmen Lezeth: What are you talking?
• 20:27
  Carmen Lezeth: It is a little chilly though in California.
• 20:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, it's like 18 degrees in Boston.
• 20:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Is it really 18 degrees?
• 20:39
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 20:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I don't know, okay.
• 20:41
  Carmen Lezeth: So seasonal depression is also seeping in, and a lot of people is that a.
• 20:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that a diagnosing thing?
• 20:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Though that's a real thing.
• 20:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm not trying to dismiss it, I just never knew what it was.
• 20:52
  Carmen Lezeth: What.
• 20:53
  Rick Costa: Especially older people.
• 20:54
  Rick Costa: Yeah, Senior citizens especially yeah.
• 20:57
  Rick Costa: Like going back to McDonald's again every morning we had this you were mcdonald's right now.
• 21:08
  Rick Costa: The group of elderly people would come in every morning like clockwork, and I knew all the same things.
• 21:10
  Rick Costa: I knew what they wanted, that they don't say nothing.
• 21:12
  Rick Costa: But when winter came, a lot of them didn't show up.
• 21:16
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And the summer came, we're back because they get depressed yeah, and a lot of them do mall walking to get their exercise.
• 21:24
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You know, during the summer and the spring and winter time they don't go out, so they do get depressed.
• 21:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, but we don't want to blanket all older people Like old people depressed all the time.
• 21:38
  Carmen Lezeth: We're old too, so too.
• 21:48
  Carmen Lezeth: So for yourself on it now.
• 21:49
  Carmen Lezeth: So do you, do you guys have anything to share?
• 21:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Or I mean, I'm not trying to pressure you, but how are you guys feeling now with everything that's going on?
• 21:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, inspire me, make me feel better.
• 21:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Things are going to be better tomorrow.
• 22:01
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I mean, after you read the definition of sadness and depression, I don't think I've really ever had depression.
• 22:08
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Sadness yes, you know, everybody goes through their ups and downs of emotions throughout the day, um, but I think you just kind of roll with the punches and just kind of you know, kind of be, try to be positive and I think I think that depression is more of a clinical diagnosis.
• 22:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I think a lot of people self describe as being depressed, and I think you can do that, but it is kind of more of a lengthier you can't, like Rick was saying, like you really can't, you don't get out of bed, you don't want to eat, you.
• 22:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You know like it's different for everyone, but I do think that's something I don't know if I've ever been.
• 22:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't.
• 22:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I still am in denial about PTSD and I there are waves of PTSD.
• 22:57
  Carmen Lezeth: So I was diagnosed and I don't mind sharing this Cause.
• 23:01
  Carmen Lezeth: That's the whole point of having this conversation.
• 23:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I was diagnosed when I had it was during COVID.
• 23:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I really couldn't walk my hip.
• 23:10
  Carmen Lezeth: That had always had had an injury and is the reason why I couldn't dance really kind of got bad Not kind of, but it did.
• 23:19
  Carmen Lezeth: It was so bad I couldn't walk at all.
• 23:21
  Carmen Lezeth: It was very painful and I ended up having surgery which before I had surgery, I had to go to therapy, not just physical therapy, but it was highly recommended that I go to like mental health therapy, which I thought was kind of a cool thing that my doctors were having these conversations.
• 23:41
  Carmen Lezeth: But I was also like who are you to tell me?
• 23:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean?
• 23:44
  Carmen Lezeth: But I did, and it was a great thing, because what I didn't understand was that I had never dealt with the loss of dancing.
• 23:53
  Carmen Lezeth: And what I like to explain to people now is, you know, losing my mom at 11 was one thing.
• 24:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Not knowing my father my you father I still don't know anything about my father was always a thing, so that's like the second thing.
• 24:09
  Carmen Lezeth: But dancing was my thing and I didn't realize and I didn't grieve that loss performing.
• 24:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I didn't grieve that loss.
• 24:19
  Carmen Lezeth: And so it's just an interesting thing that that is what ended up becoming a part of uh going to therapy and then learning that, because of my childhood and how I grew up and what I went through as a kid, that there were certain triggers that were uh diagnosing, that were able to diagnose me to have PTSD, which, as you all know, I'm still resisting today because I don't even like to talk about it.
• 24:48
  Carmen Lezeth: But but it, but it.
• 24:51
  Carmen Lezeth: But it's not because of the hip surgery, it was because in the conversation of all of that, you know what I mean, I, I, I don't know if depression and PTSD are connected, because I don't think I was ever depressed, I just never dealt with it.
• 25:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I never dealt with a lot of things that happened to me as a kid because I always liked to see the silver lining, right, all about the joy, always see the positive.
• 25:15
  Carmen Lezeth: But in sometimes doing that you deny the reality of some of the things that did happen Right.
• 25:24
  Carmen Lezeth: And it's not really denial on purpose, it's because you choose to see the positive.
• 25:29
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you don't deal with my losing, you guys here no yeah.
• 25:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So if you don't deal with it, then it triggers.
• 25:37
  Carmen Lezeth: And that's what was happening was I was being triggered and I couldn't really like I, you know.
• 25:44
  Carmen Lezeth: So I okay, I haven't shared this with anyone.
• 25:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, cynthia you might know, I know, andrea knows, but like I, I don't go to the doctor's office and just park my car and go into the doctor's office.
• 25:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I have to go like two hours before and it takes me a long time to convince myself to go into the doctor's office.
• 25:59
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, I never thought, thought that was now.
• 26:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm in my 50s, I never thought that was an odd thing.
• 26:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I really have to, I have to take my time, I have to and you know, and it was easier to cover it with like, oh well, because of COVID, I have to, I want to make sure I'm protected and whatever.
• 26:16
  Carmen Lezeth: And but it wasn't that it's because I have this amazingly fearful thing of hospitals and doctors, but I've never, I never shared that, I never talked about that, and so going down that that rabbit hole is how you end up figuring out that you haven't dealt with a lot of stuff, you know.
• 26:37
  Carmen Lezeth: So, yeah, but I don't.
• 26:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And I say all that knowing that I don't think I was ever depressed because I never knew that I wasn't dealing with that stuff, but because I didn't deal with the stuff, I had the triggers that put me down the rabbit hole of I don't know what the right terminology is, but PTSD.
• 27:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm in such denial, I'm like, oh, ptsd.
• 27:11
  Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, andrea was here when an incident happened because she stayed with me for two weeks afterwards.
• 27:14
  Carmen Lezeth: So she was here where I was uncontrollably in a fetal position and crying and could not like.
• 27:23
  Carmen Lezeth: It scared her.
• 27:23
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, that position and crying and could not like it scared her.
• 27:24
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean that she ended up calling my therapist at like two in the morning, whatever, and we almost went to the hospital.
• 27:29
  Carmen Lezeth: And so I've had those incidents happen many times but I never knew.
• 27:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not saying that I thought they were normal, but I thought they were like my normal.
• 27:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that weird?
• 27:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sure you guys are here, not weird.
• 27:50
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I also see like.
• 27:52
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I also see like depression as kind of a chemical imbalance.
• 27:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I think it can be right.
• 27:59
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why people will take medication.
• 28:02
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, absolutely so.
• 28:03
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I mean you said you never really felt like you were depressed.
• 28:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Same here Like yes, I've been sad, but you have gone through, whatever traumatic issues you've gone through which cause you to have these little triggers.
• 28:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I like calling them little triggers instead.
• 28:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, we don't like the term PTSD.
• 28:34
  Carmen Lezeth: The only reason why is not because to deny it, it's because I feel like I'm being disrespectful to military people.
• 28:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know, it's in my head.
• 28:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I know my therapist if she's listening now, which she might be explain to me that PTSD is not just about being at war, but for me, for some reason, I feel like it's fake for me to say it.
• 28:51
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 28:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it feels, like it's not, you know, but but but here but I'm not trying to be funny PTSD is a real thing and a lot of people suffer from PTSD.
• 29:01
  Carmen Lezeth: That's nothing to be embarrassed about.
• 29:03
  Carmen Lezeth: It's why I'm sharing it.
• 29:04
  Carmen Lezeth: It's why I want to talk about this today, um, because I think we have to help, uh, normalize being human.
• 29:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like we're all human, you know.
• 29:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Go ahead, rick.
• 29:16
  Carmen Lezeth: What were you going to say?
• 29:18
  Rick Costa: because we hear PTSD associated so much with military.
• 29:23
  Rick Costa: My brother actually suffers from that.
• 29:24
  Rick Costa: He was in the military, but it's not just for that.
• 29:27
  Rick Costa: People that have been sexually abused or mentally, verbally, abused or all kinds of different things can make you have PTSD.
• 29:36
  Rick Costa: And if you say to somebody that has that and suffers with it, oh, just get over it, you clearly don't get it.
• 29:42
  Rick Costa: You don't just get over a traumatic thing that happened to you, you just can't.
• 29:48
  Carmen Lezeth: so yeah, it's very insensitive to say just get over it like no yeah, I don't know, I, I, yeah, I feel like, uh, ptsd for me is something that I've been able to kind of work through, I think I still, I think that's part of why I also feel bad about claiming it.
• 30:07
  Carmen Lezeth: But you're right, you're absolutely right, and I'm not trying to dismiss it or be disrespectful.
• 30:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I actually I'm doing the opposite.
• 30:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm trying to be very respectful of the term.
• 30:16
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think, like everything else, there's different levels of it, and one of the reasons that I love my therapist is because at one point she was like we don't need to, we don't need to talk, you know, twice a week anymore.
• 30:28
  Carmen Lezeth: We can do once a week.
• 30:29
  Carmen Lezeth: And then it was like let's just do once every other week.
• 30:31
  Carmen Lezeth: And then we were tapering it down, you know, and to the point where it's just like if I need her, I reach out to her and we make an appointment and it's, you know, or if I, or if I have an issue, we'll deal with it in three weeks, whatever.
• 30:44
  Carmen Lezeth: And that's kind of what you want.
• 30:45
  Carmen Lezeth: You want to be able to manage it and have somebody that you can talk to.
• 30:49
  Carmen Lezeth: And there's there's different levels of it.
• 30:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So you're, you're absolutely right.
• 30:53
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I mean it's, it's in the word post-traumatic stress disorder.
• 30:56
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, it's any type of trauma that you've had is going to cause you stress.
• 31:04
  Rick Costa: I was saying earlier, my whole childhood was probably PTSD because of my very abusive father, very physically and verbally, mentally abusive, and I think it only calmed down when I had my back surgery.
• 31:20
  Rick Costa: Then, you know, I was very, you know, fragile, I guess you could say, cause I wasn't just I couldn't.
• 31:28
  Rick Costa: It took me a long time to even get my driver's license because I was still going through like I can't turn my neck all the way, whatever, and it was like, uh, it was a big deal.
• 31:36
  Rick Costa: He changed a lot once, but before if you just looked at him wrong bam, you just would get it.
• 31:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Wait, he physically hit you.
• 31:45
  Rick Costa: Oh my gosh, like a bar fight and I had to just take it.
• 31:47
  Rick Costa: My whole childhood was trauma.
• 31:51
  Rick Costa: I literally think oh, for example, you're not listening.
• 31:56
  Rick Costa: I think I literally block things out.
• 31:59
  Rick Costa: I don't remember them.
• 32:00
  Rick Costa: I think from my own mental health I probably block things out literally.
• 32:03
  Rick Costa: Things that happen that I, I don't remember them.
• 32:04
  Rick Costa: I think from my own mental health I probably blocked things out Literally.
• 32:05
  Carmen Lezeth: things that happened that I just don't remember.
• 32:06
  Carmen Lezeth: It's a survival mechanism.
• 32:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah.
• 32:09
  Rick Costa: Yeah, so it was tough.
• 32:10
  Rick Costa: And then the only other time, like I said, I really went through something crazy was when I got divorced, because I had no clue that it was happening, so, blindsided by it, completely Got a phone call.
• 32:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey, we're getting divorced Sheriff's coming to your house on Friday.
• 32:32
  Carmen Lezeth: What Do you think you've dealt with your father's, with that situation?
• 32:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean you talk about it nonchalantly so it sounds like you've come to some reconciliation with, because that physical abuse is so.
• 32:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Forgive me for saying it this way.
• 32:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Physical abuse is the easy part.
• 32:43
  Carmen Lezeth: It's the emotional abuse that comes with that that is heart-wrenching.
• 32:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm not saying it's okay to hit people.
• 32:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not.
• 32:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm saying you talk to any kid that's been abused physically and they will always tell you the hardest part is that that was my mom or that was my dad, you know, and it's the psychological warfare that that happened.
• 33:04
  Carmen Lezeth: So have you, do you think you've dealt with it?
• 33:07
  Rick Costa: I mean, For the most part.
• 33:10
  Rick Costa: You know, like you said, just my dad's mom.
• 33:12
  Rick Costa: You expect that's the person that's supposed to be protecting you, not to do it to you but preventing the hurt.
• 33:19
  Rick Costa: But they're actually the one doing it to you.
• 33:21
  Rick Costa: But again, no-transcript.
• 33:21
  Rick Costa: But again, I've said this before he was a very bad alcoholic and that's when it got really bad was when he was really really drunk, which was most of the time.
• 33:28
  Rick Costa: Like most people have coffee in the morning, he'd have beer in the morning.
• 33:32
  Rick Costa: I'm like, oh, here we go.
• 33:34
  Carmen Lezeth: So yeah, you kind of forgiven?
• 33:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I've heard you talk about him and you've talked about like how you've forgiven him because you understand now that it was the alcohol and not him, and that I mean, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but you've, yeah.
• 33:50
  Rick Costa: Yeah, because there was a period of time where his health was bad.
• 33:54
  Rick Costa: My father, my father, passed away, just in case somebody's wondering, but he's had in his, in his entire life, five heart attacks and two strokes.
• 34:02
  Rick Costa: Most people, a lot of people, die from one heart attack.
• 34:04
  Rick Costa: Dude had five heart attacks, two strokes.
• 34:06
  Rick Costa: He got better over every single one of them except for the last stroke, but at one point he was really, really bad.
• 34:13
  Rick Costa: Circulation was bad, blah blah blah.
• 34:15
  Rick Costa: He smoked since he was 12 years old and of course we had the alcohol on top of that.
• 34:19
  Rick Costa: So his body I don't even know how I mean, mean, he had to be strong as an ox.
• 34:26
  Rick Costa: He really was.
• 34:26
  Rick Costa: But the doctor said you know, you're, you're, I think it was the left leg.
• 34:28
  Rick Costa: If you don't stop, if you don't change, if you don't stop smoking and drinking, your leg is really messed up and we might have to amputate it.
• 34:35
  Rick Costa: Well, that got his attention quick, because his father did have his leg amputated same way, right.
• 34:41
  Rick Costa: So he, cold turkey, stopped, everything like just stopped, and the change was astounding.
• 34:49
  Rick Costa: I was like are you telling me that if you didn't drink, this is the dad I could have?
• 34:55
  Rick Costa: This whole time it was a night and day difference.
• 34:57
  Rick Costa: It was like a whole different person got along with him.
• 35:00
  Rick Costa: Fine, would joke with him.
• 35:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Did he know he was a completely different person, not drinking?
• 35:06
  Rick Costa: No, I don't think he really realized it.
• 35:08
  Carmen Lezeth: No, did he apologize to you?
• 35:12
  Rick Costa: He wasn't a big apologizer.
• 35:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm so sorry you went through that because, no matter his part in it, you still were abused.
• 35:25
  Rick Costa: Yeah, and like you were saying, the physical definitely sucks, but the longer lasting effect is the mental abuse, because he always made me feel like I was an idiot, I didn't know how to do anything right.
• 35:36
  Rick Costa: He would say really stupid, gross things.
• 35:41
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: If you ever get married.
• 35:43
  Rick Costa: You ain't even't gonna know what to do, like that's his way of saying what he said, just how he would talk to me and I was like, wow, really dude.
• 35:52
  Rick Costa: And but then he like if he hit me, whatever, he would justify it.
• 35:56
  Rick Costa: But like, well, when my father hit me, I flew across the room and there was blood everywhere and I'm like you should understand.
• 36:04
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm just.
• 36:04
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm just like.
• 36:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I wish I was there to give you a hug.
• 36:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I just cause I can tell like you you have dealt with it to the best of your ability, but you're also protecting yourself and you, just you.
• 36:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You were a child and even if it doesn't matter, no one should be hit for being themselves and for doing the best they can, and I'm just so sorry you went through that.
• 36:31
  Rick Costa: Yeah, and with my kid I never, never, hit him, never, never.
• 36:35
  Rick Costa: I never had to Like he was such a good kid mostly.
• 36:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, you were a good kid too, Rick.
• 36:45
  Rick Costa: That's the thing that baffled me.
• 36:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like, I'm trying my best not to do anything.
• 36:48
  Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't you, you understand, it wasn't you.
• 36:49
  Rick Costa: I didn't know.
• 36:49
  Rick Costa: I was like maybe it's me because you're your kid you don't know.
• 36:52
  Carmen Lezeth: But and by the way, uh, I'm gonna say something that's not gonna be nice.
• 36:57
  Carmen Lezeth: The alcohol was problematic, but it it also.
• 37:04
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like I'm pissed that he was drunk and did that.
• 37:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just pissed about it and that's.
• 37:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care that he was an alcoholic, I care that you were hit.
• 37:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You see what I mean, like I you were.
• 37:17
  Carmen Lezeth: You were hurt and abused.
• 37:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I don't forgive him.
• 37:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't forgive him and I don't know him, but I don't forgive him for what he did to you because you did not deserve that.
• 37:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and I'm sure you were a good kid.
• 37:31
  Rick Costa: I was not the bad kid.
• 37:32
  Rick Costa: I did everything right as best as I could, tried to do good in school, obeyed them to the best of my ability, tried to make them happy.
• 37:40
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you know, it's not about that, because, and even in when, when I was growing up like people were mean to me, people that supposedly loved me and were supposed to take care of me and it wasn't, it was never about me.
• 37:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I was such a good kid, I was always a good kid and I was like I was performing, I was in color guard drum corps, I was like dancing.
• 37:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I was always active, I was in school, I was doing all the things.
• 38:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I was even working.
• 38:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I was even working at 12 years old, at little peach like, and I was beloved by everyone else.
• 38:10
  Carmen Lezeth: But the people that supposedly are supposed to love you and take care of you are the people that are hurting you the most.
• 38:16
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not.
• 38:17
  Carmen Lezeth: It was never about you, never about you, never about you?
• 38:22
  Rick Costa: Yeah, for sure.
• 38:22
  Rick Costa: But you know, tell the little kid that.
• 38:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I am telling the little kid that right now I'm trying to tell him that I'm just saying like that's, I mean that's part of it, right, like, how do you tell your 12-year-old self that you didn't do anything wrong?
• 38:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean that's part of the therapy, right, that's part of.
• 38:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Again, I'm not a therapist, I'm not trying to, but I'm just saying what I've had to work through is talking to the 12 year old kid, the 13 year old kid, the 15 year old kid, the 17 year old kid, like the kid that kept not understanding why the world was so like fucked up.
• 39:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, no, abundance, abundance.
• 39:03
  Carmen Lezeth: And then at home was fucked up, like the world was like, okay, I'm ready, you know what I mean.
• 39:11
  Carmen Lezeth: And then at home, and it'd be like what did I do?
• 39:17
  Rick Costa: and it was like the surgery I had was like it was.
• 39:19
  Rick Costa: It's a horrible thing to go through because like it was bad, but it was a blessing in disguise, because after that he never hit me again.
• 39:26
  Rick Costa: He never hit me again.
• 39:27
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: How old were you when you had the surgery?
• 39:30
  Rick Costa: 15.
• 39:31
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Jesus Wow.
• 39:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so you had to have surgery in order to not be hit, but did the emotional abuse continue anyways?
• 39:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh yeah yeah, yeah, so I still think that's worse.
• 39:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yeah, but you turned out brilliant.
• 39:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Not because of that, but in spite of it yes you became a loving, kind, beautiful soul and a wonderful energy anyways, and that is an amazing thing.
• 40:07
  Carmen Lezeth: That's a beautiful thing and that's what I always try to hold on to, that it doesn't matter what I went through as a kid.
• 40:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm here now and I'm pretty fucking amazing.
• 40:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just saying I know, I mean, I have my little flaws.
• 40:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, ultimately, I think I may be Black, I may be American, oh, but I'm here.
• 40:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, were you abused at all?
• 40:33
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm just kidding.
• 40:34
  Carmen Lezeth: You want to join in?
• 40:37
  Carmen Lezeth: That's so sad.
• 40:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia had the perfect life.
• 40:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no, I'm kidding, I know, I know you had your thing.
• 40:49
  Carmen Lezeth: You had your issues, but we don't have to bring them up.
• 40:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yeah, how do you guys get through work when you're in a situation that is really too hard to deal with, whether it's a coworker, whether it's a boss?
• 41:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, rick, I know you've had issues with your boss, like you know, and you haven't given us the update on the camera hands.
• 41:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know watching your hands work and he's never brought it up again.
• 41:18
  Carmen Lezeth: So you just ignore his bullshittery.
• 41:20
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what I'm feeling again.
• 41:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Nope, so you just ignore his bullshittery.
• 41:23
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what I'm feeling.
• 41:24
  Carmen Lezeth: In a way, it's good because they work.
• 41:27
  Carmen Lezeth: You work from home and they're in where?
• 41:30
  Carmen Lezeth: New Jersey.
• 41:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Where are they?
• 41:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Florida, they're in Florida.
• 41:33
  Carmen Lezeth: So in a way, there is some disconnect.
• 41:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So you can sometimes just black out the screen or whatever and be like ah.
• 41:42
  Rick Costa: You know what I was thinking though today?
• 41:44
  Rick Costa: This guy that he's got to kind of treat him with kid gloves because he gets.
• 41:49
  Rick Costa: Who do you think you are kind of person sometimes when he doesn't get his way and he starts yelling.
• 41:55
  Rick Costa: But he brings us a lot of money, so we're trying to keep him happy because he gives us money.
• 42:02
  Carmen Lezeth: It's a tough one.
• 42:04
  Rick Costa: But one time he just went off and I told my boss.
• 42:07
  Rick Costa: I said, listen, this guy just cussed me out left, right, up and down like he thought he was my father and I'm like, no, I my dad's dead, I ain't dealing with that, no more.
• 42:16
  Rick Costa: So shockingly he called him.
• 42:19
  Carmen Lezeth: He says you will never talk to my employees that way again yeah, okay okay, wow, okay, so that's good yeah I was shocked, I was like wow how do you, how did you deal with I mean, I know how you dealt with some people at your other jobs and then not to put them on the spot, but just in general, when people are just really like you're at your limit and you're, you know you're getting, you're sad but you're angry and it's gonna bring you down oh, let's see you.
• 42:53
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: ignore, rick, ignore.
• 42:55
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh, I don't, I try not to ignore it, I will like.
• 43:00
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Whatever energy they're giving me, I, I'm going to give it back.
• 43:03
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Okay, so you already know, if somebody's snapping at me, I'm going to snap right back at them.
• 43:10
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You know, I've had a few patients do that to me and sometimes I'll just look at them and I'll just give them a smile and I'm just like are we done?
• 43:21
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Are we done?
• 43:22
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I said to a patient and I'm just like are we done?
• 43:23
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Are we done?
• 43:24
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I said.
• 43:24
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I said to a patient one day cause she just kept yelling.
• 43:27
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I said look.
• 43:27
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I said, um, I'm trying to help you.
• 43:30
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Are you going to stop yelling?
• 43:31
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Because if you're not, then I'm not helping you anymore.
• 43:34
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I had another lady on the phone she's just going on and on and I said you need to stop talking so that I can help you.
• 43:41
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And my big boss was standing right behind me.
• 43:43
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: She just looked like, okay, like I wasn't rude about it, but you just have to like, make your point.
• 43:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what?
• 43:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm actually really bad because I fight back with my clients too much.
• 43:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I mean it's not even the same energy Like I.
• 43:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Just I know that I'm I'm really in a difficult situation because my patience is gone with them.
• 44:06
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean?
• 44:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it's really just untenable at this point.
• 44:10
  Carmen Lezeth: But I'm trying to remember that part of my job is to be the kind of center of reasonableness.
• 44:18
  Carmen Lezeth: My job is to actually help everyone Keep the equilibrium.
• 44:23
  Carmen Lezeth: It's really bad when I'm like at this place like this.
• 44:27
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You know that's because you're not happy there.
• 44:30
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I think if you were happy there It'd be different.
• 44:34
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You'd have no problem doing that.
• 44:36
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Because you're not happy.
• 44:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, it's not there, let's not say there, because it's four different companies.
• 44:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't love what I do, but I don't know if I'm not happy.
• 44:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, it's not there, let's not say there, because it's four different companies.
• 44:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, so it's four different.
• 44:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't love what I do, but I don't know if that I'm not happy because, look, I make a decent living, right?
• 44:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I don't know how many people are happy doing their jobs.
• 44:55
  Carmen Lezeth: You and Rick may be, but you know, I just spoke to Andrea today and if we won the lottery tomorrow, we'd be out so happy that your job would be like you're working a job you love, and even if you won money, you'd still be doing it, right?
• 45:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just I'm just throwing that out there as a thing, like if Andrea could cook and travel, I think that would be her happy space and even though she loves her job, if she won the lottery she wouldn't do it anymore.
• 45:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 45:21
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm kind of in that same boat what I don't like, but you're right, I'm not happy because I hate what I do.
• 45:28
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not them, it's just like I.
• 45:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I still have the dream.
• 45:34
  Carmen Lezeth: It's kind of going back to the.
• 45:35
  Carmen Lezeth: You know the triggers and the PTSD and the going back to that it's.
• 45:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I was supposed to be a performer and a dancer and whatever, and that was taken away from well, you know, taken away from me, and I had to change the trajectory of where I was supposed to go, with no guidance, with no help.
• 45:54
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 45:56
  Carmen Lezeth: So I went to college, I did what I had to do, but it's kind of like not healing that, not grieving that I lost that or finding another way to do it is probably the problem.
• 46:06
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why we do this show.
• 46:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, that's why I created All About the Joy, right, because it kind of helps with me doing something that I love to do, which is kind of having a little talk show or having friends that you can hang out with and find the joy in things anyway, right.
• 46:24
  Carmen Lezeth: But I mean, you're not wrong, I hate what I do because it's not what I'm supposed to be doing.
• 46:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I can already hear like Gary Vee right now.
• 46:38
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So do you feel like you act a certain way because of that, because you're not doing what you want to do?
• 46:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean when I'm in the office.
• 46:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, what do you mean?
• 46:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Act a certain way, like I put on a mask and I'm acting.
• 46:56
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, like you're frustrated with the staff or your, your boss or whoever, and it's not necessarily because of them.
• 47:04
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It may be.
• 47:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, no, it's them, it's them.
• 47:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I understand what you're asking.
• 47:07
  Carmen Lezeth: No, no, no, cause, here's the thing I'm really good.
• 47:09
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I'll be, I'll be so totally straight up.
• 47:11
  Carmen Lezeth: The thing that I there's a lot of things I'm good at and there's a lot of things I suck at, and I'm happy to discuss what I suck at.
• 47:18
  Carmen Lezeth: But in this case, when I have to do something and this is this is evident within my entire life I do it 110%.
• 47:27
  Carmen Lezeth: So if I'm being paid a job to do a job, whatever it is, I'm going to do it 110% and I'm going to be happy.
• 47:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I think, okay, I'm not going to be happy, but I'm going to do the job well you know what I mean and I'm going to do whatever.
• 47:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I think what's actually happening is yeah, I don't love doing this, but I've never loved doing this.
• 47:47
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think people are abusive of my kindness.
• 47:52
  Carmen Lezeth: People are abusive because I am somebody that is approachable and because I am in charge, or because I'm the person.
• 48:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Then people like, people confuse, like I'm not your friend, like I don't care, like one of my clients and I love her and she knows who she is and if she listens to this show, she'd go.
• 48:11
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm not going to say her name, but she's always.
• 48:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Like we're going to go for a drink.
• 48:14
  Carmen Lezeth: No, we're not, we are never.
• 48:16
  Carmen Lezeth: And she's like, yes, we are.
• 48:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like we are not going for a drink.
• 48:19
  Carmen Lezeth: She's like, if we go to this place, so-and-so, because she wants me to travel with her, to go deal with one of the other issues we have in another state.
• 48:26
  Carmen Lezeth: She's like we're going to have to.
• 48:28
  Carmen Lezeth: What are you going to do at night?
• 48:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Like she'll, she's adorable and she's funny.
• 48:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like it's never going to happen.
• 48:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I will be in my hotel room.
• 48:35
  Carmen Lezeth: She's like you're not going to stay at a clear about the boundaries that I have with my clients.
• 48:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean and even though I love that they think we can have a friendship, I make it very clear we do not have a friendship.
• 48:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So one of my clients just found out the other day because he asked me how did he?
• 48:59
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, oh, because I had my nails done.
• 49:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I had my nails done.
• 49:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I had my nails done and he was like, let me see your nails or whatever, and I'm like it was so awkward and I have like polka dots on some of them, whatever.
• 49:13
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like I.
• 49:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I went, I was with my niece, whatever.
• 49:16
  Carmen Lezeth: He's like your niece, like a brother, a I'm like, oh, my gosh.
• 49:24
  Carmen Lezeth: So I had to explain, cause all this time, all these years, no idea like anything about my background you have a book.
• 49:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Wait, I don't have a copy of your book.
• 49:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like your wife read my book.
• 49:37
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 49:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Can I get a copy of the book?
• 49:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like, and that's what I.
• 49:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, like it was funny, but it also I mean I've, I've known him what six, seven years.
• 49:57
  Carmen Lezeth: So that's kind of like I'm really good at putting that boundary, but I think people then abuse that.
• 49:59
  Carmen Lezeth: So in the next breath, he will next week, start screaming and yelling at me or other people on the staff on the staff that I supervise, or whatever and be upset about something and talk down to people and be cruel and mean and there's no need for any of that.
• 50:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You can be upset about whatever's happening, but you can talk to people and be like, okay, you know what this didn't work out, what happened to everyone.
• 50:22
  Carmen Lezeth: There's that way of doing it, or like I can't believe you people, what's wrong, and having a temper tantrum.
• 50:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I can't believe, I pay all you people, this money for this, for this, it's like people feel this big.
• 50:41
  Rick Costa: Would it be fair to say that what you do for people that have no clue is kind of try to bring order out of chaos?
• 50:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Sure, yeah, yeah, I do consulting work and basically I manage teams.
• 50:58
  Carmen Lezeth: So, yeah, I mean, it goes like one of the people I work for, I want to shoot myself as I'm doing something as simple as bookkeeping, like here's how we do the bookkeeping and here's how we file stuff.
• 51:09
  Carmen Lezeth: And here's like just setting up the office, so it's, and there's like no procedures, right, there's no.
• 51:15
  Carmen Lezeth: So setting up procedures in offices so people know, okay, the mail comes in, who's opening the mail?
• 51:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Because, if not, the mail is sitting in a bin, in a mail bin, for weeks.
• 51:26
  Carmen Lezeth: And then people like, why is the gas turned off?
• 51:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You didn't pay the bill, you know what I mean.
• 51:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it could be something like that, you know.
• 51:37
  Carmen Lezeth: And no, I don't enjoy doing this.
• 51:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm good at it because I'm very organized and whatever.
• 51:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And then, and then there's like the other clients they're the same clients I deal with Like they don't want to deal with talking to their lawyers or their CPAs, so I will talk to them and then relay information.
• 51:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Or if we have to transfer, like you know, a million dollars from this account to another account because they're building a house or whatever, I'll handle that with their financial people.
• 52:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So it's a big swath, but it's basically being somebody's liaison between them and their staff or them and their other entities.
• 52:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you see why I hate the job?
• 52:22
  Rick Costa: It cracks me up because I would say, for the company I work for now, I think in their mind they think like, even though we are a small company, but in their mind they think like, yeah, we run like a big company.
• 52:33
  Rick Costa: I'm like no, no, no, no, no.
• 52:34
  Rick Costa: I've worked for GE, I've worked for big companies And'm like no, no, no, no, no.
• 52:37
  Rick Costa: I've worked for GE, I've worked for big companies, and the way I'll do stuff, no, this is like totally mom and pop, like what are y'all doing?
• 52:44
  Rick Costa: Like really, that can be frustrating, first because for somebody that likes order and likes to be done correctly, the right way and makes sense, and then I have to deal with this.
• 52:56
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like yeah, I think my clients yeah, I'm not blaming them for everything.
• 53:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, cynthia, it's not wrong what you're saying.
• 53:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean I don't love what I do, but I don't love people who are cruel to other people.
• 53:11
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't matter what part like you, show me who you are when things are bad and when things are wrong.
• 53:20
  Carmen Lezeth: And the reason why I love one of my clients is it doesn't matter what the If somebody makes a mistake, you punching down on them and making them feel like shit isn't going to make them not make a mistake ever again.
• 53:43
  Carmen Lezeth: It's going to make them.
• 53:44
  Carmen Lezeth: It's verbal abuse.
• 53:45
  Carmen Lezeth: It's verbal abuse and they're going to make the same mistake over and over again.
• 53:48
  Carmen Lezeth: They're probably going to be so nervous and frustrated and it's like people don't.
• 53:54
  Carmen Lezeth: And that's part, part of my job telling the people that hire me that the reason why your people are making mistakes because they all fear you and because you talk like shit to them.
• 54:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Anyway, people don't listen.
• 54:06
  Carmen Lezeth: But when you can, when someone makes a mistake an honest mistake, not a careless mistake.
• 54:12
  Carmen Lezeth: There is a difference.
• 54:12
  Carmen Lezeth: A careless mistake is the mistake you keep making over and over and over again because you haven't learned your lesson, you haven't changed something Right, I'm not OK with careless mistakes.
• 54:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You can make a mistake, but don't make that same mistake over and over and over again, because then I'm like, okay, cool, you know, and when you can do that, you help people grow, you help people feel good about themselves.
• 54:41
  Carmen Lezeth: They're human, you're human Cause, by the way, all of my clients make mistakes all day long and you know what they do.
• 54:48
  Carmen Lezeth: They never take responsibility for it.
• 54:50
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Never, of course, yep, of course.
• 54:54
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm gonna call that shit out every time, every single time, and I do, you know.
• 55:01
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think that's what adds to the sadness and frustration, because I resent Okay, I'll say it that way I resent the work I do.
• 55:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I will do it a hundred percent.
• 55:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I go in with a good attitude and I never bring my shit into work.
• 55:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't, but would I rather be doing something else?
• 55:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Yes, yes, in case you didn't hear me.
• 55:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, would you want to be doing something else?
• 55:40
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yes.
• 55:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry.
• 55:41
  Carmen Lezeth: What's Cynthia?
• 55:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yes, Do you think it frustrates you that you do the work that you do?
• 55:47
  Carmen Lezeth: And maybe sometimes I mean.
• 55:58
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I don't think you bring stuff to work, do you?
• 56:00
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh God, no, oh, no, no, no.
• 56:01
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like I know, I do my job very well, I came back and I had to do all this work that the other one did not do and I did it this whole week, in three days actually.
• 56:12
  Carmen Lezeth: But this is what I'm talking about.
• 56:14
  Carmen Lezeth: We have our own stuff we're dealing with, right, like having to deal with even my client not knowing that I wrote a book or whatever, and him wanting to know and me not feeling comfortable with him.
• 56:26
  Carmen Lezeth: No, yeah, I don't know.
• 56:27
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 56:27
  Carmen Lezeth: It was just like a weird thing, but then it was adorable, like he was trying.
• 56:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, but after like what?
• 56:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Six years?
• 56:35
  Carmen Lezeth: But there's no reason why he would know because I have that lineup, you know.
• 56:41
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I don't think him and his wife are talking about my book like I don't think it's that kind of thing like, oh my god, I read such a great book, but I don't think it's that, I'm just saying like it.
• 56:51
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like we have our own stuff too.
• 56:54
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like I came home and I was like I don't know how I felt about that, and what door did I just open?
• 57:00
  Carmen Lezeth: And now I have to bring him a damn book.
• 57:01
  Carmen Lezeth: He could just buy the motherfucking book.
• 57:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Like he could afford to buy 20 of them.
• 57:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Why, why haven't I?
• 57:07
  Carmen Lezeth: And then I go down the rabbit hole.
• 57:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Why am I still doing this job I don't like to do.
• 57:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean?
• 57:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Like he's.
• 57:14
  Carmen Lezeth: So, rick, if you were, if you became a millionaire tomorrow, you would still be working for this man.
• 57:20
  Carmen Lezeth: No, he's like millionaire shoot.
• 57:29
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what would be great If we could do this on a more regular basis and get paid for it?
• 57:40
  Rick Costa: Yes, that would be cool.
• 57:42
  Rick Costa: We do do this and get paid for it so why not dream?
• 57:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, we do this and we don't get paid for it, so it would be perfect.
• 57:52
  Carmen Lezeth: We're trying, we're working on it, and I think that brings me joy.
• 57:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Before we end, i're going to, we're working on it and I think that would.
• 57:57
  Carmen Lezeth: That brings me joy, you know.
• 57:57
  Carmen Lezeth: But before we end, I just want to ask a few questions.
• 58:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I know I already talked about a little bit, but I want to talk about things people shouldn't do if they're feeling like they're sad or going down the road of depression.
• 58:12
  Carmen Lezeth: We always talk about things you should do, right, but I want to bring up a couple of things.
• 58:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Drinking alcohol If you're sad and depressed.
• 58:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I would stay away from the alcohol and the drugging because that is a momentary thing that you think might make you feel good, but inevitably it's not going to help and it could lead to a very dangerous habit.
• 58:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Mm-hmm, lead to a very dangerous habit.
• 58:39
  Carmen Lezeth: My favorite downfall eating sweets, chocolate cake in particular, I would stay away from.
• 58:45
  Carmen Lezeth: But eating, emotional eating, being sad and eating.
• 58:50
  Rick Costa: And not only the eating.
• 58:51
  Rick Costa: You're more likely than not to eat junk and crap food and now you're putting that in your body and you feel sluggish.
• 58:58
  Rick Costa: Now you have no energy, which is already an issue, because you don't feel like doing that, because you're fat and depressed.
• 59:03
  Rick Costa: You're just compounding.
• 59:04
  Rick Costa: It's making it way worse.
• 59:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, so staying away from those things too, but passive doom scrolling or passive TV watching.
• 59:13
  Rick Costa: The danger of doom scrolling is you don't necessarily know what you're going to see.
• 59:16
  Rick Costa: You might see something that's going to take you off even more, because you don't know.
• 59:19
  Rick Costa: Yeah.
• 59:21
  Carmen Lezeth: And you can be on doing that for hours, especially when you're upset and angry.
• 59:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, you have anything else you want to say?
• 59:30
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, just anyone who's feeling down.
• 59:33
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Don't isolate yourself.
• 59:34
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Force yourself to either get out of bed, go for a walk, like you said, listen to music Like sometimes when I'm upset and I'm coming home from work.
• 59:46
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I won't put on, like you know, soft music.
• 59:49
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, I'll put on some rock or something and, just like, let it out that way, sing the song you know and then afterwards you feel better.
• 59:57
  Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Then you can change the music.
• 59:59
  Carmen Lezeth: There's something a little more soothing, you know, um I think that's good, but you know what I was listening to this week?
• 1:00:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like, hey, drake, I hear you like him.
• 1:00:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I couldn't get the whole super bowl halftime out of my head.
• 1:00:14
  Carmen Lezeth: It's so funny, it keeps making me laugh because that face, la cara that he makes you know when he's walking by.
• 1:00:21
  Carmen Lezeth: It's so funny, it's so cheesy, it's hilarious, rick.
• 1:00:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Any last words?
• 1:00:27
  Rick Costa: Another thing I don't know if we really brought it up was exercise can also help a lot because it really releases endorphins in your body that makes you feel in a good mood.
• 1:00:37
  Rick Costa: I do agree with Cynthia, though Probably the most important thing is that isolation thing.
• 1:00:42
  Rick Costa: That's the last thing.
• 1:00:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean for a minute.
• 1:00:44
  Rick Costa: Okay, but you need to talk to somebody.
• 1:00:46
  Rick Costa: If you don't want to talk to a therapist, you know, if you're a church person, pastors kind of do that too.
• 1:00:52
  Rick Costa: Talk to a pastor, somebody, maybe elderly, you know that's not fair and you know somebody, somebody will listen.
• 1:01:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Somebody will listen.
• 1:01:02
  Carmen Lezeth: You got to talk to somebody, it's true, all right.
• 1:01:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, thank you so much.
• 1:01:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate you guys chiming in.
• 1:01:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I know this is a little bit heavier of a subject that we usually do, but I love that we kind of brought it back to joy.
• 1:01:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean Finding ways through things, and that's a good point.
• 1:01:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Don't isolate yourself, and you can always come and hang out on Friday nights on the show.
• 1:01:26
  Carmen Lezeth: We are here Friday nights, 6 pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern.
• 1:01:30
  Carmen Lezeth: All about the joy.
• 1:01:31
  Carmen Lezeth: We're always going to have a game, we're always going to try to laugh and chuckle and at the very least, you can maybe find some happiness and laughter in our buffoonery.
• 1:01:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know, that's my new tagline in our buffoonery, but so check us out on Friday nights and, yeah, thank you everyone for joining us and remember, at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy.
• 1:01:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye everyone, thanks for stopping by.
• 1:02:02
  Carmen Lezeth: All about the joy.
• 1:02:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks.
• 1:02:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Have a sweet day.