Latest / A Time to Sharpen / Making SMARTr Goals

Transcript

Making SMARTr Goals · A Time to Sharpen

• 0:09
  Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
• 0:11
  Well, yeah, lots of things. I guess, poverty War, not being
• 0:17
  able to think of anything funny to say until after the moment
• 0:20
  has passed. Seriously though a dull blade is
• 0:25
  bad. It's unusable.
• 0:27
  In fact it's downright dangerous knives.
• 0:30
  Need sharpening from Whetstone Boys, Ranch in Mountain View.
• 0:34
  Missouri comes a time to sharpen a Bi weekly podcast that
• 0:39
  examines how we can all be better versions of ourselves
• 0:42
  better teachers. Better counselors better
• 0:45
  parents, better people. Mental note is a lost note, A
• 0:56
  short pencil is better than a long memory if you aim at
• 0:59
  nothing, you'll hit it every time that last quote is from Zig
• 1:04
  Ziglar. The first to my dad told me
• 1:06
  growing up, like every day, they were drilled into my soul.
• 1:10
  You have to write things down he'd say or it's never going to
• 1:13
  happen. This is backed up by countless
• 1:16
  studies. I don't know if successful
• 1:18
  people tend to write things down or if writing things down makes
• 1:21
  you successful but Doesn't really matter, which is the
• 1:24
  chicken in which is the egg. They both taste pretty good when
• 1:28
  they're cooked and seasoned just right.
• 1:30
  On this episode of a time to sharpen, we will discuss making
• 1:34
  smarter goals goals that are specific measurable, achievable,
• 1:38
  realistic time, bound and relationship-oriented.
• 1:42
  We added that last letter to the famous, acronym smart, because
• 1:46
  none of it matters to parents teachers and counselors.
• 1:49
  If we don't have relationship, does it plus spelling in that
• 1:52
  way? Kind of Of reminded me of Dumb
• 1:54
  and Dumber, and I really like Dumb and Dumber.
• 2:08
  Welcome back to a time to sharpen.
• 2:09
  I'm Axel Lima. Te I'm here with Brandon
• 2:11
  Maxwell. Hello, will bring back in our
• 2:15
  studio back in the saddle. Yes.
• 2:17
  New Year. Yeah.
• 2:19
  How was, how was your Christmas and all that Christmas was good.
• 2:25
  It was a staycation staycation. Yeah.
• 2:27
  Same here. Yep.
• 2:28
  And then we traveled actually on New Year's and visited some
• 2:31
  friends in Lexington. Okay.
• 2:33
  Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, we did something new
• 2:36
  this year, Laura. And I, we went to an Ernie.
• 2:39
  Biggs concert at a local venue. We never do anything.
• 2:43
  I didn't do that. So, yeah, other preview were too
• 2:47
  cool. So no it was, it was really
• 2:50
  cool. Is fun.
• 2:50
  It's fun. Just to get out and do something
• 2:52
  with no kids and just have a date night.
• 2:55
  My brother came down and had another couple that that went
• 2:59
  with us and it was fun just for three hours straight, they just
• 3:02
  take Take requests from the audience and two guys Dueling
• 3:06
  Pianos and it was the fun night. So speaking of date night we
• 3:10
  have an event coming up that people that were kind of kind of
• 3:15
  Hosting right. You want to talk just a little
• 3:17
  bit about that sure we are we've talked a little bit about the 30
• 3:21
  by 30 campaign and we have an event that's going to
• 3:24
  Valentine's themed event. We're sending out invites next
• 3:29
  week but it's going to be really You know, just our first local
• 3:36
  event to talk about the details of what we're trying to do what
• 3:39
  God is doing out here in the growth pattern, for what we
• 3:41
  feel, God has in store for Whetstone and really get the
• 3:45
  word out and try to get more people and current people that
• 3:48
  are supporting to to help show a lot off with stones or yeah, on
• 3:52
  it show your love. We had an event back in the fall
• 3:54
  called night on the Range, which was a big big success or kind of
• 3:58
  piggyback on that. And there's going to be music
• 4:02
  and entertainment. Attainment and Silent auctions.
• 4:05
  And it's gonna be a good time. Yes.
• 4:08
  There's never a dull moment at what's Tony.
• 4:12
  You hit the ground running and between the events and meetings
• 4:15
  and groups coming on here and new, boys, we got, and I don't,
• 4:19
  we, by the end of January, we're probably going to be close to
• 4:24
  getting close to filling our beds here.
• 4:26
  So that's good thing, or that's awesome.
• 4:27
  Lord, yeah, well, speaking of never, never a dull moment.
• 4:32
  We wanted Talk today at this on this new year, doing this New
• 4:37
  Year's time about ways that we can be proactive as as dads and
• 4:42
  parents and teachers and moms. And how we can find that that
• 4:49
  sweet spot is the way we've been talking about.
• 4:51
  It between being proactive and being positive and taking the
• 4:57
  bull by the horns as they say. And still being, as we've talked
• 5:01
  about in the last two episodes. Aunt and honest about how we
• 5:04
  feel because there's a difficult area in there.
• 5:08
  There's a tension that we that we all live in, it's never going
• 5:10
  to entirely go away. So we need to just embrace it
• 5:13
  and accept it, but we should be real, we should be honest about
• 5:16
  how we're feeling, but we shouldn't let that descend into
• 5:18
  cynicism and negativity, which is a temptation of mine, right?
• 5:23
  So we wanted to kind of live in that little spot and tell some
• 5:25
  stories as dad's about moments, where we've aired on one side of
• 5:29
  the other and Trying to decide who should go first.
• 5:35
  You want to go first? You want you want want me to go
• 5:37
  first? Why don't why don't you go
• 5:40
  first, okay? Actual, do you actually have a
• 5:43
  couple of them that you can their kind of holiday themed
• 5:46
  around the same incident? But yeah, you can go first and
• 5:51
  with just two new year, new goals for us is men, fast are
• 5:57
  saying. Yeah, we can kind of look at as
• 6:00
  Axl mentioned. We I mean we were just we were
• 6:02
  Online. It was into the air.
• 6:03
  We had a lot of things on our on our plate and didn't have a
• 6:07
  whole lot of traction, in some areas and just, you know, you
• 6:10
  start feeling some of that and we were just trying to be real,
• 6:14
  but the new year brings just a newness to it.
• 6:17
  A fresh start. And so we have some momentum
• 6:21
  going in different directions. But anyways, it's a good as
• 6:25
  Leaders of our families as fathers and mothers to really
• 6:29
  assess where we're at with our families and to, you know, look
• 6:32
  to see. What worked, what didn't and to
• 6:34
  make some goals? And however, you guys do that,
• 6:36
  everybody's kind of got their way, right?
• 6:39
  But this is an opportunity for us to do that and we can start
• 6:43
  off with at least sharing and laughing about some of the ways
• 6:47
  that we failed at the end of last year and, you know, we can
• 6:50
  learn from clear, right? It's so, so Axl, why don't you?
• 6:54
  Yeah, started it all. We started off this podcast
• 6:57
  first couple forget which one it was, but we talked about the
• 6:59
  importance of humor and we talked about Nacho Libre and and
• 7:04
  how we use humor at the here at the ranch and how it's important
• 7:06
  for us as as parents not to take ourselves too seriously.
• 7:10
  And part of that is being honest about our faults and times that
• 7:14
  we that we messed up and I had a moment.
• 7:19
  As we were packing to leave for Lexington Kentucky which I've
• 7:23
  mentioned for a New Year's trip where I had stayed up as I
• 7:27
  usually do late the night before packing and and getting stuff
• 7:30
  ready for the trip and I do eBay and I always got stuff that I
• 7:34
  got to get in the mail and on the way out the door and had
• 7:37
  mentioned to my daughter Libby that we were going to leave it a
• 7:41
  certain time. I think we said 8:00 which that
• 7:43
  that sounds reasonable 8:00 and a lot of people when they leave
• 7:46
  on a trip they leave it like 5:00 in the morning or 5:30 like
• 7:49
  that time. If they don't have kids, we've
• 7:51
  been able to do that once I think.
• 7:52
  Yeah. Maybe 20 25 years of marriage
• 7:56
  marriage. 26. And it was nice.
• 7:59
  We did that one time but it just never happens.
• 8:02
  It's know. And I'd mentioned my daughter,
• 8:04
  that we're gonna leave at 8:00 and she kind of laughed and
• 8:06
  smiled and said that you're not going, that's not going to
• 8:08
  happen. Scoffed, we're probably more.
• 8:11
  And she's really actually, she's really good about being on time.
• 8:14
  I'm proud of her for that. I don't know how she actually
• 8:16
  got it. Probably, for my mother-in-law,
• 8:18
  my mother-in-law was great being on time, and a lot of my kids
• 8:22
  actually are good at that but she's especially good at it and
• 8:25
  she laughed and said you're not going to be right.
• 8:27
  I said I said bet we're going to be ready at 8:00 and Anyways, I
• 8:33
  didn't set my alarm because I thought my wife would set her
• 8:35
  alarm because she's always up before I am on those days.
• 8:37
  She didn't set my alarm, she didn't set her alarm.
• 8:40
  Anyways, I get up around 7:30 7:45.
• 8:44
  I walk out into the hall and actually my wife, what?
• 8:47
  Got up, just a little bit before I did and she saw Libby out
• 8:49
  there and live, he's sitting there packed ready to go smiling
• 8:55
  at my wife and she said, livie it's 7:45.
• 8:59
  We're going to how come you didn't wake us up, you know, we
• 9:02
  Have gotten ready. And she said, you know, I
• 9:03
  thought about that and then I thought I'd rather be right.
• 9:09
  But if you know, my daughter is just just spot-on.
• 9:12
  That's just spoken as a true teenage.
• 9:14
  Yeah, yeah. She's just very real honest.
• 9:18
  Just authentic. You see what you get with Libby
• 9:20
  that's whole and had to laugh at that because it's just I like, I
• 9:25
  like that about her that she's on time.
• 9:27
  I like that. She speaks the truth and yeah,
• 9:30
  you know, needed to hear that from her.
• 9:32
  Anyways, that's that's just the beginning of the story.
• 9:34
  So the story kind of gets more humorous from there.
• 9:40
  So I got up and I started packing my stuff and one of the
• 9:43
  first things I did was figure out how I'm going to get
• 9:46
  something to eat and went to get some cereal, you know, quick
• 9:51
  breakfast on the way out the door and saw that the kids were
• 9:54
  all eating cereal and that they were eating my favorite cereal
• 9:58
  basic for and I didn't even realize we had basic for in the
• 10:04
  house, my wife had bought cereal, which is on a rare
• 10:07
  occasion. She does, she generally doesn't
• 10:08
  like cereal, but she had bought it for us.
• 10:11
  And I realized at that moment that there was no more basic
• 10:14
  for, and that there was one bowl of basic for remaining in a bowl
• 10:17
  of milk, which my brother, which my son was eating.
• 10:21
  And in a moment of like panic and an anger, and like
• 10:27
  desperation grabbed the bowl the half-eaten bowl of soggy cereal.
• 10:32
  And started eating it to just get as much as I could with all
• 10:36
  those left. And my son, Caleb like grab the
• 10:39
  ball from me is like, no, you can't have that.
• 10:41
  That's my cereal, that's just there, I bought, this is Ariel.
• 10:46
  Yes, my house is my spoon. This is all mine and took a
• 10:50
  couple bites and we're having this tug of war over this bowl
• 10:53
  of cereal. And it's like, sloshing around
• 10:55
  and I'd bring it to another room and, and almost immediately.
• 11:00
  I start like not enjoy. The cereal because it tasted
• 11:04
  pretty basic at the heavens birthday.
• 11:06
  Good anymore. Like a fine.
• 11:08
  You take the cereal. I don't want the cereal anymore.
• 11:11
  And at some point during this exchange, my wife came over and
• 11:14
  gently said Axl. This is not the way we need to
• 11:18
  begin our vacation. Pretty much what she said and I
• 11:23
  was not in the place to hear that.
• 11:25
  So I remained in a stew of just righteous indignation for about
• 11:30
  an hour after that. Till we got in the car and
• 11:33
  started driving and everything started to kind of become a
• 11:37
  little more obvious to me about how stupid I was being and
• 11:40
  apologized and we're okay, we're past it now but that's the
• 11:46
  incident, the bass, I failed my step up and be a leader and show
• 11:50
  my kids about what's really important in life.
• 11:54
  Well that's or not basic for although that's that's a good
• 12:01
  one. I would have been fun to be a
• 12:02
  fly on the wall that exchange because I've been there.
• 12:05
  Yeah. Trying to get out the door with
• 12:07
  six kids is. Wow, it's a challenge.
• 12:11
  So mine is a game that we played over the holidays.
• 12:16
  We got Catan actually last year and started playing that a few
• 12:22
  times over the break and had some fun with that.
• 12:25
  And I'm horrible at board games. I'll just put it that way.
• 12:30
  My wife always wins. I'm a competitive dude as you
• 12:33
  know, and I don't like to lose it board games even though I
• 12:38
  stink at him. So we're playing contain my son.
• 12:41
  I was actually my son and daughter and and Lauren I'm I
• 12:47
  was up eight points. You need 10 points to win it
• 12:49
  contain. I was like I was there.
• 12:52
  My wife ends up coming back and beating me.
• 12:54
  She like I could not get the role Owl.
• 12:57
  And she just like, oh I got, I guess I got 10 points.
• 13:02
  It's just like, you gotta be kid.
• 13:04
  I had I was just about to roll my next role and she's it was
• 13:07
  Counterpoint, she's like, oh, I think I want, I got 10.
• 13:10
  So I threw the dice on the table.
• 13:13
  I'm just like, unbelievable. I can't believe you always win
• 13:18
  these games and so I just kind of got mad and threw.
• 13:22
  The dice will I look over at my son and he was mad because he
• 13:26
  lost He was getting close to winning and he was just like,
• 13:29
  was about to like dumped over the the board, right?
• 13:33
  With all the pieces. I never liked that other like,
• 13:35
  son and Laura's just sitting there going.
• 13:37
  Do you see what you're teaching your son?
• 13:39
  I was like this is ridiculous she's like it's just a game and
• 13:43
  so it was just like an immediate feedback of like yeah a fool
• 13:46
  gives full vent to his anger but a wise man keeps himself under
• 13:51
  control. So well note to self I need to
• 13:53
  play you in some board games so that I can actually beat you at
• 13:55
  something. How's yes, I'll say.
• 13:58
  So how's like, 4:30 this afternoon sound that sounds?
• 14:01
  Good Yucatan. Yeah, right here, I'll try not
• 14:04
  to dump the table over. My dad calls that the finish
• 14:07
  move and he would always do that.
• 14:11
  Grown-up didn't matter what the game was somewhere about and it
• 14:14
  was usually pretty pretty short time into the game, whether it's
• 14:18
  Monopoly, your chest, or whatever.
• 14:21
  As soon as he started to lose like the first moment that he
• 14:23
  started to lose, he would he would flip The board somehow he
• 14:28
  would trip into it or he would just literally, just lift it up
• 14:30
  and throw it at you or something and he would say, finish move.
• 14:35
  And my dad is finished. The namely metallic finish.
• 14:38
  Oh, he was referring to it as like this is what fins do.
• 14:41
  This is an issue but it also meant the game's over X over.
• 14:44
  I'm say that though I'm the dad I get to decide when the game is
• 14:47
  over. That is funny.
• 14:48
  It's a good. Chris Farley move.
• 14:49
  Yeah. So but speaking, speaking of my
• 14:52
  dad, he also at the beginning of the year, we do something
• 14:56
  really, really special. Special for for us.
• 14:58
  And he continues to do it with my kids.
• 15:00
  Is he he's not really A Gift Giver, well, he is but he isn't.
• 15:04
  He gives stuff that he finds out of the junk and give that away
• 15:06
  just extremely generous with anything that he finds.
• 15:09
  And it's some pretty cool stuff that he finds with his business.
• 15:11
  Take away trash service, but in turn when it comes to like
• 15:15
  birthdays and Christmas and everything, he's never been one
• 15:17
  to do that. My mom will buy the gifts but
• 15:20
  one thing he does do is offer us 50 bucks.
• 15:22
  If we do our goals now he's long-term three short term, he
• 15:26
  Some to be kind of a balance of physical, and emotional, and
• 15:30
  spiritual goals, and things like that.
• 15:32
  And he also expects them to be what are called smart goals.
• 15:35
  If you've ever heard of this part is an acronym for specific
• 15:39
  measurable, achievable relevant and time-bound.
• 15:43
  And so, for example, if my goal was to get in shape, well you
• 15:49
  have to say, what is it? You're going to do to get in
• 15:51
  shape. I'm going to, I'm going to run,
• 15:53
  I'm gonna run two miles, right? And the measurable, like, I'm
• 15:56
  gonna run. You can measure two miles and
• 15:58
  you can know what your time is, and you can see Improvement and
• 16:00
  achievable is it reasonable to think that you can run 2 miles
• 16:03
  under 15 minutes and relevant like is the thing that you're
• 16:07
  doing going to get you into shape and then time-bound like
• 16:12
  it's by a certain time. I'm going to establish this as a
• 16:14
  habit, right? Within a month, I'm going to be
• 16:16
  running exactly or by under Twilight next year, or whatever.
• 16:20
  So, I thought I'd be good for us to have a brief discussion about
• 16:23
  how we could apply this smart model too.
• 16:26
  To Parenting and you had brought up that you had a goal with your
• 16:30
  family that that you were going to go.
• 16:33
  You were going to make so that maybe we could talk about that
• 16:36
  as an example. Well, it was interesting because
• 16:38
  Laura and I have been talking about just the way our kids and
• 16:42
  all of us just treat each other and how we speak to each other
• 16:45
  and show each other respect. We've been battling a little bit
• 16:48
  with our oldest to of just the competition and just not saying
• 16:53
  they're not like overly mean but it's just like they don't really
• 16:56
  Reggie Chaucer and they don't, they're always kind of fun and
• 16:59
  weighs 21 up or just discount. The other ones successes or
• 17:04
  things like that. And so, we just, we want to have
• 17:09
  an environment in our home to where we love being together.
• 17:14
  It's not always about a competition and thinking about
• 17:16
  when the kids get older that we like it's this is our only
• 17:20
  family we get. And so like, we want to be able
• 17:24
  to Foster relationships when they leave the house.
• 17:27
  To really enjoy being together and want to be able to come home
• 17:32
  and really enjoy home and all those things.
• 17:35
  And it was interesting that I had, I had listened to a podcast
• 17:40
  from Andy Stanley, and his wife, and it was like right along the
• 17:43
  lines of what we've been talking about of his kids are all grown
• 17:47
  and out of the house, but that was something that they really
• 17:50
  thought was important to them. And so they talked about, it was
• 17:55
  along the lines of a new Year setting some goals.
• 17:58
  But really, as you're going through this process, it's
• 18:03
  important to know what kind of the end game is just like, you
• 18:07
  know, the Robert or Stephen cubby.
• 18:09
  Begin with the end in mind. Yeah.
• 18:11
  If you know what, you're trying to get to, then the smart goals
• 18:15
  are easy more easily able to be kind of fit into that system, or
• 18:21
  to filter through some of the noise that to make it relevant.
• 18:25
  So, so, So for us, it was just we want everything that we want
• 18:30
  to do is to Foster relationships with each other and our family.
• 18:35
  And so you want to just kind of new thing, the main thing,
• 18:39
  right? So everything kind of filters
• 18:41
  off of that or as you know through, like if you're getting
• 18:46
  Well, let's stay on track with this, the smart measurable
• 18:49
  achievable relevant, right? Time-bound so when we talked
• 18:52
  about, making them adding an R, to the end of it, right?
• 18:57
  With you, your goal. Like, let's make, that's not
• 19:00
  just make smart goals. Let's make smarter goals and
• 19:03
  throw in the relationship component as my parents, because
• 19:06
  it's really all about relationship.
• 19:07
  Yes, yeah, yeah. I mean that's, you know, with
• 19:11
  Whetstone keeping those three to one.
• 19:13
  Ratios is all about relationship and being able to To develop
• 19:18
  those in order to speak truth in the lives of kids or our right,
• 19:22
  our sons and daughters. So so if your goal is a family
• 19:25
  was to Foster relationship. And one thing that you were
• 19:29
  going to do to Foster relationship was spend more time
• 19:32
  together. Let's say that's like a sub-goal
• 19:34
  of what your main Russian statement is if, as a family.
• 19:38
  What's what's something specific that you could do to spend more
• 19:41
  time together? One thing that we talked about
• 19:46
  was being intention with spending one-on-one time with
• 19:50
  each kid, we have six kids in and they're all vying for our
• 19:54
  time and they all need separate individual attention as well.
• 20:00
  And it's amazing when we do that, the benefits we see from
• 20:04
  that. So that's something that we are
• 20:05
  going to be intentional about is really once a month, we're going
• 20:10
  to, then have to be huge, but it's like every kid is going to
• 20:13
  get at least to our date. For just one on one time with
• 20:17
  Mom and Dad. So that's one specific goal that
• 20:21
  we're going to do this year right and like with with your
• 20:27
  kids what's something? Because I want to kind of maybe
• 20:29
  walk through the smart thing with one of your kids.
• 20:31
  Yeah. So pick a kid and pick a thing
• 20:34
  that you're going to do and let's figure out how you could
• 20:36
  do it in a specific measurable achievable relevant time Bond
• 20:40
  Way. Okay so I would say we just we
• 20:44
  just did this This with. So we went, we took Anna.
• 20:50
  And we went to Colton's. We got dinner and we went
• 20:53
  bowling, cool. And so, actually, no, it was
• 20:56
  Evelyn. So it was two in one of the
• 20:59
  cellars, one of the six, one of those, I think mine.
• 21:04
  So that was something that in the first week if you want to
• 21:08
  be. I mean, I guess that's, that's
• 21:10
  time-bound. But my specific is just, hey,
• 21:12
  we're going to go do these activities together.
• 21:15
  For certain amount of time. And so is that achievable, you
• 21:20
  think cuz I've tried these things before arrived, I've said
• 21:23
  I was going to have date night with my kids.
• 21:24
  Yeah. I have not been able to sustain
• 21:27
  it for the whole year and you're probably going to do better than
• 21:31
  I am well but not necessarily. But I do want to clarify with
• 21:36
  that's like probably the upper echelon of the day.
• 21:39
  Sure. Like that's not know this, we're
• 21:41
  talking like because it could just be going out in the yard
• 21:45
  and And our playing volleyball in the Dave Ramsey, budget to go
• 21:48
  bowling and Colton's with right your kids.
• 21:50
  Why is weak not? That's not achievable exactly.
• 21:54
  That's what I was kind of getting at is like the specific
• 21:57
  thing that you do is going to happen.
• 22:00
  Once once a quarter with each kid, were you thinking or yeah,
• 22:04
  we're shooting for once a month to.
• 22:06
  For just again, it's just that hour and a half, two hours and
• 22:10
  it could be just at home. Yeah.
• 22:12
  Where we go on a hike. We walk down the road, okay?
• 22:15
  Anything that's just one-on-one we're checking in with the kid
• 22:18
  base once a month with each kid. They that way because we've
• 22:21
  talked about before where you really need to study your kids
• 22:24
  and know them especially as they go through the different seasons
• 22:27
  Wills a teenager now and yeah there's room I can't pick up a
• 22:31
  bowling ball. Exactly so that's not out of
• 22:33
  work for him. Not going to work a little baby
• 22:36
  or younger younger boy. So yeah and and relevant I mean
• 22:41
  so this is obviously if our big goal is to Develop and Foster
• 22:46
  relationships. It's obviously relevant that
• 22:48
  this is one of our subgoals is just to be intentional with how
• 22:51
  we interact and know what's going on in our kids lives.
• 22:56
  Yeah, and with the relevant thing, I could see I could see
• 23:00
  with your competitive nature. Sometimes getting into say, you
• 23:04
  took Will bowling. And if it turned into this
• 23:06
  competitive thing, right? You might have to take a few
• 23:09
  gutter balls you just for the sake of the relationship, right?
• 23:13
  Like you shouldn't beat your son at everything.
• 23:15
  Every time, right? Or should you actually do you
• 23:18
  want to weigh in on that one? It's, it depends, it depends.
• 23:23
  Let's just say that. Yeah.
• 23:24
  But the funny, you say that the competition.
• 23:26
  So we took one kid and Will's, like knows.
• 23:30
  Oh, what do you bowl Evelyn? Mmm.
• 23:32
  And she, I bowled the 79? Yeah.
• 23:35
  And Will's like, can I go on? Can we go bowling on our date?
• 23:39
  I want to see if I can beat writers.
• 23:41
  Yep, go ahead. First only I can see those.
• 23:43
  Yeah. So So but it's just you it's
• 23:48
  cool to see. Once you do that with one kid,
• 23:50
  then the other kids just like crave that and which is a great
• 23:55
  thing. It's a great picture to know
• 23:57
  that. I mean, just our kids are
• 23:59
  craving our time and it's so easy to just going to get
• 24:04
  wrapped up in our day-to-day stuff that we're not intentional
• 24:07
  with them. And we don't realize how much it
• 24:09
  means to them to just take that time and be intentional.
• 24:14
  Yeah, those barriers come Down and we talked at the beginning
• 24:17
  about transparency and about honesty and when you spend that
• 24:21
  time with your child, they tend to open up.
• 24:25
  It might take a while may take half an hour or an hour or might
• 24:28
  be a couple months before they really feel comfortable talking
• 24:30
  about stuff but that time is well invested yeah and another
• 24:35
  copy out of again just like the is it achievable and you know
• 24:41
  don't the big thing is that you know don't get caught up in Like
• 24:45
  oh we're going to do x amount of times every month.
• 24:49
  And it's life happens, man. It's like I'm this is not going
• 24:53
  to happen the way that you've totally set it out.
• 24:55
  Don't be like, militant about how you set your goals and it's
• 24:58
  just like the all about Duty or it becomes more about Duty, then
• 25:03
  actual relationship. So don't be, don't be that that
• 25:10
  Dad. That's the drill sergeant.
• 25:12
  It's just like it's got a, come on.
• 25:15
  Got it on the schedule. Yeah, to do it reminds me but a
• 25:17
  t-shirt my friend Jeremy Paden wore one of the people I visited
• 25:22
  in Lexington couple weeks ago. He's a connoisseur of gray,
• 25:26
  t-shirts t-shirts and like to see his stuff like that.
• 25:29
  Yeah, we shave a good old TV. I one of my favorites is Jesus,
• 25:32
  is my homeboy. That's a great one, but the one
• 25:35
  that he wore this weekend was world's most.
• 25:39
  Okay, astute dad nice. And just like the way that was
• 25:44
  free. Raised to not that we shouldn't
• 25:48
  set ambitious goals or try to be the best dad that we can be.
• 25:51
  And we're always going to be the best dad that they have, because
• 25:54
  we're the only dad, right? Yeah.
• 25:56
  So the way you said it, I like how you said at the only family
• 26:00
  we got, you know, we get. So let's appreciate it.
• 26:03
  But we should also realize that we're not perfect and sometimes,
• 26:07
  okay is enough, don't don't let the great be the enemy of the
• 26:10
  good. Yeah, I've always I've always
• 26:13
  liked that quote. Yeah.
• 26:15
  Think along those lines is we get so caught up in the future
• 26:20
  and all these things that we want to do and be and become and
• 26:24
  all these line items of things that we got to check off our
• 26:27
  list. And we miss the little
• 26:30
  day-to-day intentional moments that God gives us and just
• 26:34
  living in that moment. And I think, you know, the
• 26:39
  Damar, Hamlin story, and all the things that have transpired with
• 26:43
  that injury and just Just in that scary time where that I
• 26:48
  mean young 24 year old kid, I mean playing the biggest game of
• 26:51
  his life all of a sudden he's fighting for his life and the
• 26:56
  matter of seconds. And so it's just a good reminder
• 26:59
  that our life. We have no idea.
• 27:01
  It short and we are kids lives could be taken from us.
• 27:06
  I mean, you just don't know and to be able to just have that
• 27:10
  perspective, don't get too far out in front of your skis, take
• 27:14
  each day that Gives you and be intentional with them and that's
• 27:19
  the main thing. I think has the best thing we
• 27:21
  can do as parents or teachers or counselors.
• 27:25
  Is we have opportunities every day to speak into the lives of
• 27:31
  the kids. We work with in our sons and
• 27:33
  daughters. If we see it, if we slow down
• 27:35
  enough to take advantage of it. Yeah, yeah, I live in the moment
• 27:39
  lead, by example, realize that more is caught than its taught
• 27:43
  and our kids are always always. Looking at it at us, you know,
• 27:47
  there's a verse that sprung to my mind as we were thinking
• 27:50
  about this podcast. It's Proverbs 29:18 as we kind
• 27:53
  of wrap this up, where there is no vision, the people perish.
• 27:58
  Where there is no vision, the people perish and you could
• 28:01
  easily say where there is no vision.
• 28:03
  The the you know the family parishes or where there is no
• 28:08
  vision the clinic parishes or where there is no vision, the
• 28:11
  the school parishes but we have to sit down and be proactive and
• 28:15
  get some stuff done on paper and be smart about it, right?
• 28:19
  Specific measurable. Achievable relevant time bound
• 28:23
  and you know, that mean my dad might give you 50 bucks if you
• 28:27
  do it, you know. Oh man, there it is.
• 28:30
  I wouldn't be surprised if someone like texted us and are
• 28:34
  now Facebook said, hey, hey, why don't we say that the first
• 28:37
  person? Because I'll just commit my dad
• 28:39
  right now. Hey, the first person to send us
• 28:41
  a list of goals. That smart.
• 28:43
  Three long-term, three short term, specific measurable,
• 28:46
  achievable relevant time-bound. My dad will send you 50 bucks.
• 28:50
  He'll do it fresh Ulysses, S Grant in the mail, that's
• 28:55
  awesome. If Fred, he's brought hundreds
• 28:58
  to the table at the at our conference table down there.
• 29:02
  He's got, he's made some very interesting presentations over
• 29:05
  the years, will say that. But yeah, well, that's awesome.
• 29:09
  Would be fun to see what the fruit of that brings the.
• 29:12
  Yeah. Hopefully, bring some some fruit
• 29:14
  and we get some people sitting in there.
• 29:16
  Yeah. And while we're on that, while
• 29:17
  we're on the topic of like, interacting, Our audience, you
• 29:20
  know, we'd love to have people on our show.
• 29:23
  We'd love to be on other people's shows.
• 29:25
  If you know people that any podcasters out there, whatever
• 29:28
  we're just so is kind of swamped sometimes with what we're doing.
• 29:30
  It's it's a lot for us to carve out an hour, right?
• 29:34
  Hour and a half, two hours, three hours.
• 29:36
  When it comes to post production and writing stuff and recording
• 29:38
  stuff and re-recording stuff and things like that.
• 29:41
  So anyone has any ideas? We'd love to.
• 29:43
  We'd love to hear your ideas. We got some good feedback month
• 29:46
  ago from a parent, gave us a great topic.
• 29:49
  So So yeah, get on the socials and and comment and like, and
• 29:52
  share and let us know what you're, what you're thinking.
• 29:55
  Yes for sure. And one thing I was going to
• 30:00
  mention just to wrap up as a wrap up from the wrap up is just
• 30:06
  thinking about our parents that send their sons here and just
• 30:09
  parents that are maybe thinking about sending their son or in
• 30:12
  that zone or it's like do I need a therapeutic boarding school.
• 30:16
  I mean things just are not going well.
• 30:19
  Just take a deep breath and realize that it's, it's going to
• 30:25
  be okay. There are, there's help out
• 30:28
  there, there's resources out there.
• 30:30
  There's a lot of other people, all that, a lot of other parents
• 30:33
  going through the same thing, you are.
• 30:35
  And there's, there's ways to, to get help and to just recalibrate
• 30:41
  things. And to just make some different
• 30:43
  choices to get some better results.
• 30:46
  So yeah, what Stones available for for that?
• 30:49
  Help or just any of us that work here.
• 30:51
  And I've worked with teenage boys for a lot of years.
• 30:55
  So that's we just want to be a resource for those out there
• 30:58
  that are struggling and you're not alone.
• 31:00
  Good time to you're not alone to get some help.
• 31:03
  Yep. Well Brandon, I appreciate the
• 31:05
  time we get to spend together. It's nice to know that I'm not
• 31:07
  alone. Yes, in this Enterprise.
• 31:09
  This journey that we run together and we love being a
• 31:13
  part of whatever Community is out there, listening and Jenna
• 31:16
  come joining us in the journey. So thank you for taking the
• 31:19
  time. Listen and we'll catch you next
• 31:21
  time on a time to sharpen. All right, take care of Happy
• 31:24
  New Year. What's Down Boys?
• 31:33
  Ranch is a therapeutic. Boarding school located in a
• 31:36
  Scenic Ozarks southern Missouri. It was founded in 2011 to serve
• 31:41
  families from around the country.
• 31:43
  We're struggling with challenging behaviors from their
• 31:45
  12. To 16 year old Sons.
• 31:48
  Our mission is to sharpen the character of young men.
• 31:51
  Please visit Whetstone Boys, Ranch.com if you want to learn
• 31:54
  more about our program or about how to contact us for help,
• 31:58
  thanks for listening and we hope to catch you next time on.
• 32:01
  On a time to sharpen.