Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: Pikachu vs. Kaslapus with Chelsea + Catherine

Transcript

Minisode: Pikachu vs. Kaslapus with Chelsea + Catherine · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Height and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
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  Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
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  Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
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  Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
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  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go
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  Speaker 1: get your tickets now. If you want to come see
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  Speaker 1: me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Hello, gath, oh, Hi, Chelsea, how are you. I'm feeling
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: very deep throated today. Yes, I counted him too. I
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: don't is it the weather? Maybe maybe I spoke to
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a joint.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: So well, I have a really fun update. So I'm
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: not sure I remember Wit from our John Lovett episode.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: He was getting serious with his girlfriend and wanted to propose,
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  Speaker 3: but wasn't sure about telling her family that he's trans.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I remember.
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  Speaker 3: Yes, we loved Wit, and I think we did update
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  Speaker 3: that they got engaged and that was all very happy.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: So I got a very special email this week. This
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: email is from Aaron. So Aaron says, Hi, Chelsea, I
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: couldn't help but think of you and the experience you
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: shared with my son Wit when he appeared on the
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  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea podcast last year. This is W's mom. I've
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: been a longtime listener of Chelsea's podcasts and have enjoyed
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: her episodes on Netflix and YouTube for years. Whit and
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  Speaker 3: I even Binge watched some of them together when I
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: visited him in Montreal. So I was thrilled when Catherine
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: arranged for Wit to be on the show and have
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  Speaker 3: the chance to ask Chelsea and John questions about his
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: dating relationship. Shortly after the episode aired, Wit proposed to Anne.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: She said yes. The heart of the episode was about
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  Speaker 3: whether Witch should tell Anne's parents that he's trans before
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  Speaker 3: they got engaged. Chelsea and John suggested it really shouldn't
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: matter either way. As it turns out, Anne's parents are
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  Speaker 3: incredible people. They were extremely understanding and expressed that they
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  Speaker 3: were honored Wit and shared that part of their story
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  Speaker 3: with them. They emphasized that it didn't change how they felt.
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  Speaker 3: It simply didn't matter to them in the best way.
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  Speaker 3: WIT's experience on Dear Chelsea gave him confidence and validation
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  Speaker 3: beyond what I could have imagined. The respect and dignity
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  Speaker 3: Chelsea and John brought to the conversation through their openness, inclusion,
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  Speaker 3: and compassion was truly refreshing. As WIT's mom, I want
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  Speaker 3: to say how much I appreciate all of you. Today
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  Speaker 3: I'm flying to Montreal for Wit and Anne's wedding, and
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  Speaker 3: I felt it was the perfect time to reach out
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  Speaker 3: and express my gratitude for the kindness you showed warmly.
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  Speaker 2: Aaron, Oh my god, wow.
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  Speaker 3: I know, it's just like so.
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  Speaker 1: Big families together. That's what we're doing, keeping families. I
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  Speaker 1: mean to get a thank you letter from someone's mother,
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  Speaker 1: It's like the best gift ever.
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  Speaker 3: I know, it's so delightful, So thank you so much
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  Speaker 3: for writing in.
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  Speaker 1: And by the way, what a beautiful model and blueprint
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  Speaker 1: for anyone's Yes, who is dealing with anyone. You know,
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  Speaker 1: the way that this couple reacted to finding out that
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  Speaker 1: their new son in law is trans is so beautiful,
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  Speaker 1: like it has absolutely no impact on them, and then
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  Speaker 1: they thanked him for sharing something so personal.
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  Speaker 2: That is how we treat people.
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  Speaker 3: And for Aaron to be obviously this woman who is
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  Speaker 3: has a child who maybe things went a little differently
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  Speaker 3: than expected as.
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  Speaker 4: We grew up.
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  Speaker 3: But guess what Aaron loves with and you know, is
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  Speaker 3: accepting and these families have come together and it's just beautiful.
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  Speaker 2: It's just awful. This is the way the world should
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  Speaker 2: be going around.
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  Speaker 1: Everyone should be accepting of everybody, regardless.
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  Speaker 2: Of what anything.
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  Speaker 1: You should be able to accept and look at everybody
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  Speaker 1: as a human.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Well, Ricky says, you're Chelsea. I've been a fan of
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  Speaker 3: Chelsea since the Chelsea Lately days. My sister and I
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  Speaker 3: would chat recapping your hilarious shows often, and we saw
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: you live in New York many years ago. Anyway, I
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: recently came across your podcast and have been listening and
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: loving hearing the humor that I always enjoyed with my sister. Anyway,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: I don't need advice, but I have a ridiculous question.
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  Speaker 3: Pikachu versus kosloppus. Why do you sometimes say one versus
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  Speaker 3: the other? Different words, same meaning or is there more
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  Speaker 3: of a distinction? Just stupidly curious. Thanks Ricky, great question.
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  Speaker 2: I love it.
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  Speaker 1: Pikachu is just a softer way to say I feel
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  Speaker 1: like capis sounds like sloppy sea bass like it sounds
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  Speaker 1: like fish, you know what I mean. Cais is like
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  Speaker 1: the Pikachu. It's like, oh, you have a cute little
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: you know, that's nice way to save vagina. It's the
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: nicest way to save vagina. Vagina's a terrible word. It's
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  Speaker 1: not good.
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  Speaker 2: And so Pikachu. I don't like the word pussy.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, I like calling men pussies, but white saying,
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  Speaker 1: you know, come like my pussy?
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  Speaker 2: So gross?
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  Speaker 1: Should we name this miniesot like come like my I
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  Speaker 1: can't even repeat that, so I'm gonna.
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  Speaker 3: Have to use too any asterisks if we do that. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: in our family, it's tooty, but it wasn't when I
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  Speaker 3: was growing up. That came from like my sister's college friend.
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  Speaker 3: But now we call it a touty.
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  Speaker 2: But tuty is a fart also like a toot. You know,
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  Speaker 2: in some families.
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  Speaker 3: It could be when my family growing up, my parents
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  Speaker 3: called it your body, which is very confusing. Like that
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  Speaker 3: is absolutely the wrong, Like call that your body. Oh,
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: make sure to wash your body.
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  Speaker 2: No, that doesn't work.
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  Speaker 3: I don't beaver also, but that's not for you know,
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  Speaker 3: I mean everyday consumption.
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  Speaker 2: It depends. I mean, I guess for me it is.
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  Speaker 1: I can pretty much say, I mean, there's nothing wrong
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  Speaker 1: with beaver, but actually make a note to myself to
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  Speaker 1: start using beaver more often.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Well, our caller today is Liz.
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  Speaker 3: She says, you're Chelsea. About six months ago, I broke
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  Speaker 3: up with my first long term boyfriend. He was not
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  Speaker 3: good for me, and it took me a while to
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  Speaker 3: realize it. The relationship ultimately ended because he wanted me
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  Speaker 3: to convert to Catholicism, but truly he wanted my leftism
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  Speaker 3: politics to more align with his right wing tendencies. Looking back,
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  Speaker 3: I can now see his behavior was controlling and somewhat
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  Speaker 3: abusive at times. He was the classic love bomber that
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  Speaker 3: withdrew whenever he couldn't get control of me in some way.
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  Speaker 3: There were times I'd call him out for attempting to gaslight, verbally, intimidate,
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  Speaker 3: and physically control me. He would always become super defensive
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  Speaker 3: and try to put the blame on my mental state
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  Speaker 3: rather than take responsibility for these things. Needless to say,
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: after getting out of that relationship, I've been in somewhat
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: of an apathetic state about men since the breakup. I
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  Speaker 3: want nothing to do with any characteristic of my ex,
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  Speaker 3: so I've been mostly going out with guys, knowing that
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  Speaker 3: it will lead nowhere. Well, I met a really sweet
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  Speaker 3: guy on the dating apps. He seems the complete opposite
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  Speaker 3: of my ex. We're politically aligned, share a ton of interests,
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  Speaker 3: and he puts in a ton of effort. The problem
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  Speaker 3: is I'm not that attracted to him. I totally want
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  Speaker 3: to be, but I've given it a few months and
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: still feel no attraction to him. My question is, am
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I just continuing my patterns of falling for unhealthy relationships
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: due to my insecure, anxious attachment style. On paper, this
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  Speaker 3: new guy has everything I should be looking for, but
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  Speaker 3: I can't help a feeling there's a lot of the
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  Speaker 3: chemistry missing. This leaves me thinking about the chemistry I
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  Speaker 3: had with my ex. I know that relationship wasn't healthy.
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  Speaker 3: But why do we look back with blinders a feeling
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  Speaker 3: like that was the relationship that had something When the
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  Speaker 3: new guy on paper looks so perfect? Do you think
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  Speaker 3: I should give up on this new guy and keep
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  Speaker 3: looking for someone I'm more attracted to. I'm a little
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  Speaker 3: scared that my little self quote unquote is calling the shots.
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  Speaker 3: And the reason I'm not feeling the attraction is because
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  Speaker 3: I'm still drawn to the avoidant, controlling person.
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  Speaker 2: Liz Hi, Liz, Hello, Chelsey.
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  Speaker 3: Hi.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, So, first of all, I think you're doing this
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  Speaker 1: is great. There's so many people that call in and
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  Speaker 1: they don't even know how to begin the process of dating,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that you're already doing it. And
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  Speaker 1: you understand what you're that you're avoidant, anxious or anxious avoidant?
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  Speaker 2: Is that what yeah, you said.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, anxious avoidant that you got away from that ex
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  Speaker 1: boyfriend that's over. What you're realizing is that you don't
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  Speaker 1: have chemistry with this new That's okay. You don't have
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  Speaker 1: any chemistry with him, then that's it. There's nothing happening there.
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  Speaker 1: But don't confuse the chemistry you had with the other
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  Speaker 1: guy as a sign that you should be with that guy.
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  Speaker 1: You just know what chemistry feels like and what a
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: good guy feels like. So you are I have identified
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  Speaker 1: all of the things that you want in your romantic relationship.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: You want somebody who's reliable, who's good on paper, who's
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  Speaker 1: going to be honest, who's going to be thoughtful and
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: caring and not manipulating and not controlling. And you also
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: want to have chemistry. That's great, that's a victory. You
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: know exactly what you want and you're gonna find it.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And it's just a numbers game. And don't stay with
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  Speaker 1: some guy that you're not attracted to. There's nothing you
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  Speaker 1: could do about that. You've given it a couple months.
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  Speaker 1: If you would give it, if it were three weeks,
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  Speaker 1: i'd say give it a couple months. But you've given
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: it a couple months. You've tried. You're not attracted to him.
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  Speaker 1: You don't have to be attracted to everybody. I wish
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  Speaker 1: I could be attracted to more people, do you know
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  Speaker 1: what I mean? I'm sure you feel the same way.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh God, I wish I could be attracted
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  Speaker 1: to you.
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  Speaker 2: You seem easy.
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  Speaker 1: But we've identified all of the things that you're looking
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  Speaker 1: for relationship. You're winning, You are winning, You are on
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: your way to finding somebody. Just stick with it and
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: just know in your heart what you're going to say,
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  Speaker 1: what you're going to settle for. You're not going to
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  Speaker 1: go back to a guy that's controlling or domineering in
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  Speaker 1: any way, and you're not going to settle for somebody
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: that isn't exactly what you're looking for.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Yes, I knew you would say something just like this, Chelsea,
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  Speaker 4: but it was making sure that I wasn't, you know,
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  Speaker 4: just writing off this new guy because I'm looking for
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  Speaker 4: something else. But no, I think, I think, I know.
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  Speaker 2: I just needed to hear it.
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  Speaker 1: I guess yeah, And listen, if you end it with
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  Speaker 1: this guy and in a couple of months you're still
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: thinking about him, then guess what, Then you can go
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  Speaker 1: back and go, god, wow, I made a mistake.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So yeah, just trust yourself, really trust yourself and listen
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  Speaker 1: to yourself. You're identifying all of the things that are
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  Speaker 1: important to you in a relationship, and that's you're ahead
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  Speaker 1: of the game.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And I think like teasing a part this idea of
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  Speaker 3: having chemistry with someone from what you had with your
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: ex which was not just chemistry. I'm sure you had
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: that too, but what he also gave you worth these
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: like adrenaline hits and dopamine hits of I never know
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: what's coming next, Like when you have those arguments with
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: people and they have your nervous system all out of whack,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: you are getting rushes of adrenaline every single time that happens.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: So that can also be very addicting. And that's a
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: different thing than just like having chemistry with someone. At
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: the same time, if you don't have chemistry with this
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: new guy, you don't have it's friend zone, right. But
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: at the same time, you may find dating someone who's
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: like this guy that you do have chemistry with, and
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: you find yourself like, is this person too boring for me?
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: That I think is the thing you want to maybe
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: give a little more time to. If you find yourself
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: feeling that because you're not getting those dopamine and adrenaline
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: hits of just like surges of hormones, right, and sometimes
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: like the steady eddies at the beginning, you can be like,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: is this boring or is this just kind of fine?
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: So maybe give yourself a little more time. If you
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: find yourself in one of those. That's but that's what
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: you're aiming for, right, somebody who's not constantly a rollercoaster.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, that makes sense a lot of sense.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, Liz, you have some friend zoning to do.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, you forgot it, got it?
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Thanks for going so much.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: through June, so.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Go get your tickets now.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: If you want to come see me perform, I will
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: be on the High and Mighty Tour.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: merch at Chelseahandler dot com