Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / What If I'm Hearing God Differently Than My Church Leaders And It Feels Right? - A Personal Reflection
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (00:28) So tonight, I was on Instagram and saw this post that was five Christian books I threw away. And so I was curious if I'd read any of them. And I had read a couple of them and their reasoning for why they got rid of them. And the thing that stood out to me the most was essentially the author. They didn't agree with the author's reasoning for their beliefs and interpretations of scripture or where their inspiration came from, meaning Jesus appeared to me and told me that this was more scripture, or this is how I interpret the Bible, or this is what I believe this life is all about. And this person on Instagram, I don't even know who it was, didn't like that. And essentially, their big takeaway was that you need to be able to discern the spirit. And that one is so interesting to me because it's like, OK, I am trying to discern the spirit. But you're telling me that if I discern it in a way that doesn't agree with how you hear it, then I'm wrong in your right. Or your pastor or your prophet, your leaders. If you see it differently or hear it differently, then you are wrong. You've been deceived. And that's been kind of confusing to me. So if you feel that way too, don't worry. You're in good company. and as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a prophet just as in the Bible and he is the mouthpiece of God. And I don't. disbelieve that? But I just kind of wonder what the actual role of a prophet is. And that's something I am working on. I don't have a straight answer right now. That's something I'm working on. But I do believe that a prophet can be inspired, or is inspired, not can be, but is inspired. But how much of their inspiration is different than mine? An awesome talk that President Nelson gave, I don't remember when it was, maybe back in 2020. It was more recent. And it was entitled Hear Him. And he really implored the members of the church to seek out guidance and direction personally from our Father in heaven. And I have really taken that to heart. But it's been kind of scary because some of the things that I have concluded don't necessarily fully align with teachings or beliefs of my faith. And that's kind of been hard to reconcile. But it feels so full and open and inclusive, some of these new thoughts that I have that I want to keep them. Now, does that make me wrong? Does it make me deceived? Maybe. But. It sure feels good. And I love my beliefs that bring me peace. They bring less judgment to myself and others and have just opened me up to so much more love and acceptance of myself and all humans and showing more grace and understanding and compassion. So if I'm deceived, it's working for me, but it sure doesn't feel that way. And I really am trying to hear my source, which for me is Heavenly Father. And when I start to feel overwhelmed or frustrated and confused with my thoughts, or maybe that I'm hearing him wrong or not at all, I just ground myself in the belief that God knows me. He knows my heart. He knows my intent. And that keeps me going. And I remember that everything is going to work out. I genuinely believe that no matter the choices that we make, because there are so many people in this world kind of just had to take a step back and not just look at my organization, the people within my religion, but all of the people in every culture, facet, tribe, city, out in the desert, like every single person, religious, non, that has been, that has walked away, that has denounced their faith. Like, I believe that God knows them and understands their situations and why they're making the choices that they are. and loves them. And everything's going to be okay. Because we are all just trying to make sense, right, of this life in the context of the, experience of the hand that we were dealt at birth. Because not only is our, religious beliefs a factor, but our life factors, your family. your culture, your traditions. All of those things come into play. We're only subject to the thoughts that are offered to us. whether from outside sources or when contemplating, trying to sit and listen and journal, think, read books, you know. But it's just all going to work out. God knows all of us. Every human that has been, every human yet to come. And that communication is truly an important part for me, communing with my source, which for me is Heavenly Father. And I think my Savior, Jesus Christ, hears me too. I don't know the logistics of prayer. I don't. But I like to believe that I have a heavenly help. That's kind of the term I started to use and think of as my heavenly help. like to think that. The people that love me and have my best interest at heart and know me are on the other side in some way, helping me, guiding me. I don't know. You know, the angels, your people, your team. My heavenly help is out there cheering me on and wanting to help me. So yeah, this whole discernment thing, listening to the Spirit, I go by the fruits of the Spirit. I think that's really helpful. And listening to my heart, that's taken some time through meditation and practice and stillness. Those are amazing practice. Taking time for stillness is essential, not only for your well-being to distance yourself from the noise and get comfortable with your own thoughts, but getting comfortable with no thoughts. And as they come, just acknowledging them and then letting them go. And my brain chatter. has diminished so much. My thoughts are so much more intentional rather than just fleeting and in and out all day long. And meditation has really helped me with that. So I encourage you to come up with your little protocol of when you start to feel the overwhelm of not knowing and the confusion and fear when you feel conflicted with maybe what leaders are saying or others say about your beliefs. What is going to be your fallback belief? You're welcome to take on mine, which is God knows me and my heart. and everything is going to work out. But you've got this. Know that you're amazing. And just keep doing your best. I'll talk to you later.