Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep72: Evelyn loses the spotlight; Nick makes the ladies faint (and then leaves town).

Transcript

Ep72: Evelyn loses the spotlight; Nick makes the ladies faint (and then leaves town). · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's revolution You know what they say, pack it up, pack it in at a beginning.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: And as one wise woman once sang, groove is in the heart.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: But she had to be prompted to sing about the groove.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know that.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe she wrote that.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's the one.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: I heard the guy.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: I heard the guy say, baby sing about the groove, and then that was when she said that it was in the heart.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: He like had to rap for a minute.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't tell her where the groove came from, though.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: He just told her where it is.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: He just told her to sing about the groove and it came from the heart.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: As a wise man once said, does she like butter tarts?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Who?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh the guy from Len.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's part of Steal My Sunshine.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: That song, you know how to bring down a room because that song.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: You might as well have- Does she like Butter Tarts?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't you know.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know the Butter Tart thing was a lyric until you brought it up.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I actually just need to look this up because I I You don't believe me?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, I do.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know when it is.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's so there's a there's a break.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: They're doing a little bit of instrumental and then they're talking to each other.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: And she says, uh, how does she how's she doing?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, she's doing bad.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh she looks pretty sad.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And the guy goes, Well, does she like butter tarts?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then she sings about having her sunshine stolen.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was lying on the grass on sunny morning.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if you sing it like that, yeah, it's gonna suck.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know why I don't hear the butter tarts line?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have turned the song off well.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Long before that, yeah.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's why.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly why.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: My favorite part is that she spells the word later, which anytime that you have to anytime that you have to spell a word or or do word count, like Bon Jovi's these five words, I swear to you.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like anytime you have to count words or spell a word, that's when you know you're an elite songwriting territory.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, B-A-N-A-N-A S.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Although that actually is pretty rad.
• 1:55
  unknown: Oh, okay.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're like you, I can't tell you how many times I throw third N in there.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm actually gonna make a case.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think of the bananas song as being a little more like that genre of songwriting that's more cheerleading than songwriting.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And in that instance, you're supposed to spell stuff.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's no message to fucking bananas other than that this day is bananas, right?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's nothing beneath it.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally just to get people up and jumping around.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that doesn't bother me.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's I don't feel like this person didn't know how to fill this line.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like they wanted us to jump up and down a cheer.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you know what?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm I will agree with you.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Against my will, but I I can't I can't I can't help myself.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I you make a very good make a very good point.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of good points, I have one that was made by a listener of ours that I want to talk about, but first you gotta lead us in because otherwise people don't know what they're listening to right now.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Folks, welcome back to the Reverse Jackass Podcast, the podcast to bring peace between the United States and Canada.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so so glad you're here.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Nick with me as always is Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, say hello to these folks.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Hello.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: That was fine.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's an Evelyn day.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's an Evelyn day.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would love for you, Evelyn, to tell us what you brought to the table for us today.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first I got a little bit of feedback on our episode um about you at the track meet running.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, no kidding.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it brought a memory to uh one of our all-time most dedicated listeners, Jill.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it brought her, you know, she said this series of of pods, uh, the episodes that we've been doing have been bringing back all of her elementary school memories.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, whether she wants it or not.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And she, the the track and field one, she made a very good point.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: She hated track and field.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: She told me she would often hide in the bathroom that day.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, she remembered a friend of hers literally trying to break her own ankle to get out of track and field day.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is in elementary school.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about y'all, but we have like mandatory track and field participation.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Track and field mandatory track and like for races?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's racing, it's like shot, uh not shot put, sorry, it's like medicine ball, it's long jump, short jump, high jump.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's all elective in the United States, and it and it doesn't start until at least middle school and usually high school.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: So middle school for us, we don't have middle school.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: We go straight from grade five to grade nine, which is why we do the uh the 13th one on the end to cover up some of the slack to really patch those holes that we've created.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, so we have elementary school, which is K to eight, secondary school nine to twelve.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so this is all in elementary school, right?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to you have to participate.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's track and field day, it's a few days.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing it whether you want to or not.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, hold on.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it's field day.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a okay, because track and field in the States is like a season.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: You do it every day for, I don't know, 12 weeks, and you have meets throughout and then you have championships.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: But are you talking about field day?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because we had field day, but field day is supposed to be fun.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm talking literally, it's called in elementary school track and field day.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's one day.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, one day.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well that's But then, but then there I understand what you're saying.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: There is a season.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: There's like track season as well.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: But you're saying that you all have a mandatory field day that you have to participate in.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: But it sounds like it's not fun.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Here it's fun.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Here it's a thing that kids look forward to because you know you get to goof around all day, and like I don't ever remember anybody getting in trouble for not wanting to play sports on those days.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, sure.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: We're also talking back in the 90s, right?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: 80s and 90s here.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you think I'm talking about?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, Evelyn, I was just in an elementary school the other day.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Literally started, you started this call telling me the telling me in extensive detail about the trophy you got winning the third grade shot put competition last Thursday on your day off.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, and I won the beard length competition too.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a landslide.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a landslide.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And they, yeah, like obviously I know we're talking about the 80s.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But Jill made an excellent point.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved this.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: She said it was her least favorite day of the year.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I agree with her.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: She hated it and she said, why was it mandatory?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, why was why did we have to do like high jump?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why was that something we had to do in front of all of our peers?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I hated high jump, right?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just these kinds of things.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Long jump, first of all, me running, like I'm not a I'm not a runner.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I me running against someone who's, you know, doing all the track, pulling in all the medals, is nothing but pure embarrassment.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't motivate me to do better.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: It just makes me look fatter and slower and like everything I hate already thought I hated about myself.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: So she's like, I hated this because she said, you know what I was good at?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Singing.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Jill's an excellent singer.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Jill's got a great voice.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Did we ever have a mandatory day where we just made everyone stand on stage and sing in front of the whole school?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like in front of all of our peers, just screeching stuff out.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did we ever do that?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: But in the name of athletics, sure we did.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's completely unfair.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I understand it.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Jill, I'm so sorry that the education system failed you in that way.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe it's different in Canada than the than in the United States.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: But we had mandatory music classes all the time that were a disaster.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: And you may refer back to our earlier episodes where we did have to sing in front of news cameras jingoistic patriotic songs.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like I actually, we did have plenty of mandatory music things, each more hideous than the last.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: I would have traded one of my testicles to be able to jump, to be able to do a high jump instead of singing fucking we are with you um 85 million times.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I understand that you and I have different taste.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Can we get that in writing?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's a pretty severe that's a that's a big trade.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think it's not.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think both would be a big trade, and I'd still consider it.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just wanted to bring up this point Jill made because I thought it was valid.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I agreed with her.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, Jill.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think we treat athletics as something everyone should be able to do, and music as something that if you choose to do it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it ha if I had had the choice, I would not have been doing long jump and getting sand in my prepubescent butt crack.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I would not have been doing that.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I would not have been trying to do high jump and then like landing on my tailbone on this stupid bar that I absolutely could never get over.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: How did your butt crack change in puberty?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Did it lengthen?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: You're like it was one of those little short butt cracks, and then you know, puberty hit, and I got and I gained about four inches of uh butt cracks, started to crawl out halfway up my back.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a I think you know, I digress.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're too far in the weeds.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go on to today's topic.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yes, let's.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you two stories today, two short stories.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: First one, I want to talk about some friends we visited on the weekend, and the they were the friends who the the mom is a friend of mine who uh she was the one I was in the delivery room with.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she has uh two beautiful daughters, eight and ten.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so the eight-year-old was the one I was in the delivery room for.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: So when we get there, now when we when the girls were young, like as in you know, sub-five years old, we saw them a lot.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this then this family moved.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: They hadn't fully developed.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and although I did come with a tape measure, I didn't feel it appropriate.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: It would it was totally inappropriate.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it would have really I think it would be-listening to your instincts.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wanted to read the room.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working really hard on that these days.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: It takes us about an hour to get there.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: So it we don't see each other as often.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: But when I would when we would see the girls when they were really young, the youngest girl, like she was my girl, right?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: She'd hug me really tight, she'd snuggle on my shoulder.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I loved, I loved holding her, and I had a special affinity for her because I literally saw her come into this world.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: It was the one you can confirm was not adopted.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I definitely can confirm it was not adopted, yeah, for sure.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so she's eight now, and I haven't seen her often for the last few years, but I was delighted to see when we pulled up in front of their house that she was waiting on the front step for us.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: No kidding.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: She was very excited to see us, and she gave me a big hug.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: She was talkative.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: She's a bubbly eight-year-old girl, great vocabulary, um, incredible at hockey.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: That girl's stick handling is unreal.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like she was promoting street hockey.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was blown away.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, this is so cool.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's awesome.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: She You know, that seems like the kind of kid we should just put on a stage and force to sing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: She probably she probably would just kill it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: She probably would just kill it.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: She's just she's just killing life.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So we stayed for about eight and we had a great time with the family.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we're catching up with mom and dad.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed through the afternoon that there was a gradual shift from being excited to see me to engaging more with Jason.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of the night, I didn't need to be there.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I did not, it was unnecessary that I was there.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: We And the reason you know this is because they pulled you aside and told you that.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: The eight-year-old was like, look.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Can you come in here for a second, please?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just really need to talk to you privately if that's if that's all right.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is you're not gonna like this, but I want to tell you gently.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So where it was time for us to leave, and I saw something on her face, and she was like, No, like please, no, you can't leave.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, not yet.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, she got a little whiny, and then she started to really cry.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like she was beside herself, she was grabbing onto Jay's arm, she was holding his hand with two hands.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: She did not want him to leave.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And we're walking out, you know, we get outside, we're walking outside, and she's like, No, no, like she's now like really getting worked up, and she says, I'm gonna come with you, I'm gonna get my sleep stuff and my pillow.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And mom is like, nope, you know, we're we're gonna see Uncle Jay soon.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't worry about it.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: So then we said, Well, walk us to our car.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't we all walk to our car together?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she now is crying harder than I have ever seen a child cry in my entire life.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like Jay's like, Oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we get to the car, we separate her from him, like she was attached to him, like like a band now sobbing.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: It brought me right back to being a young girl with really big feelings, but she was having monstrous feelings.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like even bigger than you have a friend of her.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, I don't know.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, I wouldn't have been allowed to cry like that in my head, like not like that.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: At one point, she reached out.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Jay gets into the car, and I saw her reach out with her hand, and she without any kind of like I knew it came from the bottom of her soul, yelled, I love you, Jason.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And was just like, I love you, Jason.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And and and she looks at Jason and blows him a kiss, tears pouring down.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was watching her heart break in real time, and we drove in silence for a little bit, and Jay goes, Well, now I know how the Jonas brothers feel.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta watch out, Evelyn.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's gonna be a voodoo doll of you in that kid's bedroom.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, she realized yesterday that her mom and I were texting because I said, like checking in, I said, How's our how's our big heart today?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how's how are we doing?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: She said the first words out of her mouth this morning were Uncle Jay.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And even in bed the night before, she had said, All I can think about is Uncle Jay.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: So like this is but when she realized her mom and I were texting, she said, Are you texting with Aunt Ev?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, can you tell Jason I say hi?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I've been demoted, I was the main character at one point in her life.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And now I am simply, what am I, like the guy that operates the landfill?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's at most.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: I am the landfill at this point.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I was gonna tell you another story, but I want to make sure there's time for your story.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna save that story for another podcast episode.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: But my question for you, Nick, is what is the most memorable goodbye you have ever had, good or bad?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be one that tore you right apart, but it can be one that you were thankful to have as well.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's the what's the most impactful goodbye story you've ever had?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh let's just get it out of the way here.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: That we know it was the first time that Jay and I left California.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like we know, you know.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do you remember how hard it was to get me to leave Jay when that when that happened?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then Amber and I were texting.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you were like, you're like, are you texting with Evelyn?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, can you can you ask how Jay's doing?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Can you and I was like, I was like, send kisses, but don't do the emoji.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, type it out, do the real thing.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, kiss, kiss.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: So other than that, other than that thing, you know, what was the other most impactful goodbye you had to the other most impactful goodbye?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because you've left a lot of places, right?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: You've left Chicago, you've left Virginia, you've left people, you've probably left events that you were glad to leave or sad to leave.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like big or small, it doesn't matter.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: What's a what's a memorable story you can tell us?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I have a I have a not great story, and I have a great story.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the not great story I'm gonna tell, and then we can decide whether we want to include it in the podcast, which is that one time when my college ex-girlfriend and I, we had a very up and down relationship that was pretty dysfunctional.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: And at one point I was up in her apartment post me having graduated.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: She was still in college, and so she lived an hour north of me in our college town, and we had a fight, and it was a thing, and I was frustrated, and I just said, I'm not dealing with this, I'm leaving.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: And something about that triggered her, and she began to cry.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: And we often would stretch disagreements, fights, ruptures out for hours.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: And on this particular night, I had decided I was not going to spend hours dealing with this.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: I was going to get in my car, I was gonna drive back home to my parents' place, and I was gonna sleep and feel better about myself, and it would be okay.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: And she started to cry.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I understand that you are sad.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: It is better for me to be away from here.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: I am leaving.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And she sobbed harder, and I went to the door and left, and she followed me out.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now it is in the middle of the night in a crowded apartment complex in Fredericksburg, Virginia.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and she is sobbing, sobbing, sobbing like I just watched eight people get murdered sobbing.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like the sobbing of someone who is crying not just about the tragedy at hand, but at whatever the 15 remembered tragedies were that this linked to for her in her mind.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Really triggered stuff.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm walking down the three flights of stairs down to the parking lot, and she is sobbing, following me the whole way.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm walking to my car, and I was like, You can walk me to my car, but I'm leaving.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she's uh uh I'm looking, lights are starting to flicker on in the complex.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's so loud that people are starting to wear, and I'm thinking, oh my god, people are gonna think that I abuse this person.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I'm like, I have to go.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: And she's standing outside of my car sobbing, and lights are starting to come on, people are starting to come to the windows.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, fine, just get in the car, just get in the car.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And she gets in the car and she sits down and she's sobbing and sobbing, and I'm trying to like get her regulated to the point where I can leave.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And at one point, she cries so hard that her eyes roll back at her head and she passes out.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: No, like, like I saw it with my own eyes.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: It looked like a movie, it was really something, and so then I'm like gently trying to wake her up, and it was this whole fucking thing.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: I think I finally agreed to go back in.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think I finally didn't make it out.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was finally like, okay, I'll stay, I'll stay, and then she had like a full-blown veil episode because she was like so worked up.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was heavy.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I'm gonna interject for a sec.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Please.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: You said she was sobbing like she just saw eight people get murdered.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: If I saw eight people get murdered right in front of my eyes, I would not be sobbing.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would have dissociated so hard.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would be standing there, probably not blinking.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe my eyes would also roll back in my head and I would pass out too.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know if I'd be sobbing.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I I understand your point that the sobbing was intense.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and it it it just it's good to be wanted, I guess.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's good to have people sad and leave, I guess.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, of course.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm explaining it to you on the process.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that only guys like Jason and me know.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, clearly.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Where you leave somebody and it's a trauma.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: So that was so that was one.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: We did eventually get away from one another, which was good for both of us.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: She's as far as I know, happy now, and I'm rooting for her.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the movie theater?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: This was also the movie theater X, wasn't it?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: No, it was not.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was the one that you had, because you said call you were in college and that she was still in high school.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: So that was when I was a freshman in college and she was in high school.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: This was when I graduated college and she was still in college.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Totally different.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Totally different person.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Years later, I still had this horrible, horrible, deleterious effect on women.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's my bad leaving story.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: Here's my good leaving story.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: So when I left Chicago, I was in a job that the folks that I worked with were really nice, and my boss was nice to me, and I hated it, and I hated the job, and I was miserable all the time, and I just really wanted to leave.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally I met my wife who lived in California, and we dated long distance for a while, and I knew that I wanted to be with her, and I decided that I was gonna, you know, move to Pasasena and be with this woman, who I, you know, obviously it was the right call this many years later.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was in a position where I needed to move, and so I needed to find a job.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I told my boss, you know, that I was gonna be leaving and that I was gonna aim for June.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: This was in February.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was gonna aim for June and that I was gonna be looking for jobs.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so she was really nice and supported me in that.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I started looking for jobs, but I couldn't find anything because it was 2009 and the economy was fucked.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: There was no money, it was the you know, the Great Recession, everything was a disaster, and I just could not find a job for love or money.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I was looking all the time, and I was starting to get really disheartened.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: And finally, my wife, God bless her, said, you know, just move out here, I'll take care of you until you can find something.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Which I'm grateful that I said yes, right?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: What a move on her part.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Amber, like just nailing it all the time.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Just like one of the all-time greatest things that ever happened to me in in my life, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and so that means that, you know, I'm still looking for jobs, but not finding them.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Very worried about what I'm gonna do, very worried about how I'm gonna make money.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: I leave this job that was a good paycheck, and I, you know, start the month-long process, you know.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like I think I think I was in in Chicago for maybe two weeks after I left to pack up and stuff, right?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: But on my last day of work, my employees all said, Oh, let's go out, let's take, let's take out the drinks.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go, let's go get some drinks, let's go to a bar.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I never did shit like this, but I was like, cool, last day, I'll totally do it.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be great.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so we go to this bar that I'm reasonably confident was a Russian Mafia front on the north side of Chicago.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we got our drinks, and we're sitting there, and there was this person who was my employee's employee, and I can remember her face, but I can't remember her name for the life of me because we didn't work closely together.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: But she was like one of these like ray of sunshine people.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like one of these folks were just a nice, loving, lovely person who believes the world is a good place and is a good person, right?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm sitting there with her and a couple of her friends, and she says, uh, so what are you gonna do when you move out to California?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, You know, I don't know yet.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking for jobs right now, but I'm having trouble finding something, and so you know, it's it's gonna be dependent on what I can find.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And she gasped, gasped, and she went, Oh, you could do anything.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, that is the exact opposite of how I felt in that moment.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I still think about this to this day because that trip was, you know, me leaving was the beginning of my life getting really good.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like for the first time in my life, like my life, I mean, I I had I've had a good life and things are good, but like getting really, really fucking good, where I'm just with this wonderful person that I'm in love with, and where I live in a part of the country that I love and eventually doing something that I love in the form of therapy, like everything in my life got better, you know, in succession from the moment that I said yes to Amber's incredible offer.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I didn't have the feeling in my heart of I can do anything.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: What I thought was I'm gonna find.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever shitty job that I hate as much as this one, and it'll be a little better because at least I'll be warm and I'll be with the woman I love, right?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Everything was oh, you can do anything.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so funny because I did spend, you know, four or five years in shitty jobs that I hated, but then I really did do something that I never thought I was able to do.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so I hold this up to clients sometimes as a reminder that there is so much more possibility in the world, and the world is shitty, and there's sad things happening, and injustices and stuff sucks.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: But also, there's tremendous possibility for all of us that we all have to be vigilant about all the time.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so that's my good leaving story.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody passed out.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it didn't take several hours, it was over in a matter of an hour.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was sober enough to drive home.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was, you know, what a win.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's a win.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's a total and it, you know what's really funny?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: I when I was thinking of this prompt this afternoon, I was thinking, I know your good leaving story.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: I could have called it.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: I knew it was gonna be about Chicago.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: I knew it was gonna be about Chicago, but you know what's funny?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't you had a much more positive spin on it here than I had anticipated.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: I thought you were gonna be like, I got out of that dump.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that's kind of more what I was picturing, but I really loved that.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know what's really funny?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I have said to you at some point, you can do anything.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was about something we were working on together, and I said, right?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was only saying that to you because you were about to run out in traffic, and I was like, look, man, like anything to keep you alive.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's all it was.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember you said to me that that is not something that brings you a lot of hope or excitement.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a it's more of a terrifying statement than it is um, that's dark of me.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, because I get it, because like for me, that's an exciting statement, but you made me realize that having all the possibilities sometimes is not an exciting thing for people.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's very overwhelming for some people and provides no direction.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that she said that to you.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: It sounded like it came from the right person, and you actually buried that little nugget somewhere in there and held on to it.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and hopefully you learn to think about what you're saying before you say it.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like every person I encounter teaches me that in a different way.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can I give you one more before we go?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: You have this the best.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so this is the one of the best lines ever.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it was from a guy I wasn't terribly close with.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm about to leave Los Angeles.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is a few years before that, for Chicago, right?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: And there was this woman I was dating who was the worst, the worst.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: And she was, and this is like the this story isn't gonna make any sense, except that I just have to tell you that you have to understand that young me did not know how to say no to people.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, did not know how to say no to people.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't want to date this person.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: I had been interested in her initially, but she was kind of a bad person.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: But she kept asking me to hang out, and she was really persistent about it, and so I kept saying yes because I didn't know how to say no, right?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so she was like, No, we gotta hang out before you go, we gotta hang out before you go, we gotta hang out.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I agreed, and the only time we could make it work was my last night before leaving for Chicago.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: So my final night, I'm gonna hang out with somebody I don't particularly like instead of with my friends, my roommate, my loved ones, etc.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: So we go see a movie, and that movie is the 40-year-old virgin.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and it is fucking hysterical, and it's great, and we get out of it, and she says, That is the stupidest piece of shit I've ever seen in my whole life.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: That wasn't funny once.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if you can't see the humor in the 40-year-old virgin, then you need to go back to humor school, right?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so the date stretched on, and I won't bother you with the details, but it was just it was boring and frustrating and shitty, and I was annoyed.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: And at the end of it, I left angry and frustrated that I had said yes to this thing, and I came back to my apartment complex for the last night, and all the usual suspects are sitting on the stairs smoking cigarettes, including my roommate, my beloved roommate, including the guys beneath us, Matt and John.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: And Matt was super nice, and John was nice too, but I wasn't close with him.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody's there, and just in a moment of humility, I told the story of how awful and stupid and humiliating the night was with this person.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: And Matt goes, You know what you gotta do, man.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta leave town to this day.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's still one of my favorite lines ever.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, so that's the three of my stories to your one better story, and I'm sorry about that.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: But no, I love it.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's the leaving episode.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this out there and it's time for you to leave something, just leave.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do it, just do it.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like do it, honestly, just do it.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna end with that right there.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Nick, thank you so much for a great episode.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Evelyn.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Appreciate it.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know another good episode of reverse jackass in the books.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna keep going.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: So uh if you want to help us keep going, you can like our stuff, you can tell people about us, you can tell people how much you hate us, you can tell people what a couple of ding bats we are.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Play the play the America versus Canada card.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like just say all we do is yell at each other and talk about how how much our countries hate each other.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just do whatever you need to do to sell it on other people and they're gonna be delighted.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then report back.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna leave you with this.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: If it's track and field day at your school and you don't want to do it, the two ways to get out of it are either hide in the bathroom or try and break your own ankle.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a bathroom guy.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna lie.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, man.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I got a bone saw in my trunk.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: Stuck together through geography.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the other has tokes.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's reverse.