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He Divorced Her WHILE SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL · CelinaSpookyBoo

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Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole for initiating divorce while my wife
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Speaker 1: was in the hospital for a car accident? Reddit. One
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Speaker 1: of the scariest places on the internet, but also a
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Speaker 1: place full of the absolute hottest, steepiest, juiciest tea that
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Speaker 1: is out there. And one of my favorite things about
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Speaker 1: Reddit is the am I an a-hole. So today, that
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Speaker 1: is what we are going to be doing. I found
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Speaker 1: some juicy am I the a-holes, and let's decide. Are they?
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Speaker 1: Are they? Let's be honest. Let's be brutal. So let's
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Speaker 1: get into the first one. My wife had two kids
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Speaker 1: before we got married, and they have an actively involved father.
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Speaker 1: We have had two children of our own. My wife
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Speaker 1: is a terrible driver, but she refuses to acknowledge this.
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Speaker 1: She has been in multiple accidents and even had her
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Speaker 1: license suspended. Not for a DUI or anything, just because
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Speaker 1: she's a really shitty driver. She will do stuff like
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Speaker 1: reach into the back seat to deal with a kid constantly.
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Speaker 1: rather than just pull over or let one of the
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Speaker 1: older kids deal with it. She got t-boned in August
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Speaker 1: last year because she took her foot off the brake
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Speaker 1: at a red light to pick up my son's soother
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Speaker 1: that had fallen out. She didn't put the car in park. Thankfully,
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Speaker 1: only she was injured and all four kids were in
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Speaker 1: the car. I've had it. I told her that she
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Speaker 1: is welcome to endanger herself and her kids, but that
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Speaker 1: if I am in the car or our children are
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Speaker 1: in the car, that she needs to keep her eyes
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Speaker 1: on the road and her hands on the steering wheel.
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Speaker 1: She is finally at the point in her rehab where
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Speaker 1: she can drive again. I reminded her of what I said,
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Speaker 1: and I told her I loved her, and I said
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Speaker 1: that her older kids are very important to me and
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Speaker 1: I love them too, but I told her that if
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Speaker 1: she ever decided to do stupid shit while driving, our
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Speaker 1: relationship would be over and I would make it part
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Speaker 1: of our divorce, that she is not allowed to drive
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Speaker 1: with my kids in the car. She started crying and
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Speaker 1: said she didn't do it on purpose. I asked her
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Speaker 1: how exactly she took her hands off the wheel, took
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Speaker 1: off her seatbelt, took her foot off the brake, and
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Speaker 1: then turned around to pick up the soother by accident.
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Speaker 1: She said that I am treating her like an idiot,
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Speaker 1: and I don't think I am. My children have to
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Speaker 1: be safe. Before you ask, I try and do as
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Speaker 1: much of the driving as I possibly can. I have
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Speaker 1: stopped drinking when we go out. I've traded in my
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Speaker 1: car that I loved for an SUV so there was
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Speaker 1: more room for all of us. I offered to pay
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Speaker 1: for Uber so she didn't have to drive if I
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Speaker 1: wasn't available. She actually likes driving. Her ex, her parents,
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Speaker 1: are on my side. He also told her that if
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Speaker 1: she ever thinks about endangering his kids, that he would
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Speaker 1: go either for full custody or ask that she be
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Speaker 1: barred for driving with the kids in the car. Her
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Speaker 1: parents have threatened to stop helping her pay for her
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Speaker 1: stupid driving. So then, this is what happens next. My
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Speaker 1: wife was involved in a single vehicle accident. She was
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Speaker 1: seriously injured and thank goodness no one else was in
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Speaker 1: the car with her. I have spoke to her about
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Speaker 1: her driving habits and I warned her. I went to
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Speaker 1: see her in the hospital and then I went to
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Speaker 1: a lawyer. I am going for full custody with only
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Speaker 1: supervised visitation for her. I am sick to death of
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Speaker 1: her driving habits and I will not wait for her
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Speaker 1: to injure or kill one of our kids with her bullshit.
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Speaker 1: I feel bad for doing this while she's in the
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Speaker 1: hospital and facing charges, but I can't Wow, this keeps updating.
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Speaker 1: This is crazy. So now that was March. Now this
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Speaker 1: is November. So she got in another accident. She's in
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Speaker 1: physical rehab. Then she drove into a canal by the
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Speaker 1: mall because she didn't put the car in park when
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Speaker 1: she was getting paperwork from the back seat. After my
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Speaker 1: ex drove her car into a canal, I was done.
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Speaker 1: All right, that's the broken part. She knew she was
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Speaker 1: going to get my kids injured or worse. Both me
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Speaker 1: and her ex went for full custody of our kids.
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Speaker 1: in part of the divorce settlement, in my case, that
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Speaker 1: she was not allowed to drive my children anywhere. Our
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Speaker 1: divorce was rough, but I still love her. I just
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Speaker 1: couldn't risk my kids. And then it says, she got
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Speaker 1: a dog. The dash cam the insurance forced her to
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Speaker 1: get showed that the dog was making puke noises in
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Speaker 1: the back seat. She turned around to look at what
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Speaker 1: the dog was doing and got hit by a semi.
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Speaker 1: When she drifted into oncoming traffic, my kids lost their mom. Oh! No!
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Speaker 1: The siblings lost their mom. I lost a co-parent I
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Speaker 1: still cared about. Her parents lost a daughter. I feel awful,
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Speaker 1: but a few of you have asked for an update.
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Speaker 1: I think I will be forgetting this account forever now.
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Speaker 1: I probably will not reply to questions. Just felt like
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Speaker 1: the folks that helped me before might want closure. No! Damn!
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Speaker 1: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That is absolutely terrible.
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Speaker 1: I hate that she died, but she kept making the
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Speaker 1: same mistake over and over and over again. Luckily, those
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Speaker 1: last accidents, especially the one that led to the divorce,
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Speaker 1: she didn't have the kids in the car, which is good,
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Speaker 1: but still, she got hit by a semi- Was the
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Speaker 1: dog okay? I hate to be that person, but is
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Speaker 1: the dog okay? Man! Oh, this comment. I thought it
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Speaker 1: was funny when it was revealed in the comments that
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Speaker 1: the accident that brought out the divorce was rolling into
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Speaker 1: a canal. It's not so funny anymore. Ugh. OP is
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Speaker 1: lucky that he acted when he did and had the
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Speaker 1: settlement to say that she wasn't allowed to drive the
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Speaker 1: kids anywhere, including the universe itself, was warning about what
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Speaker 1: was going to happen. She just didn't listen. Oh, rest
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Speaker 1: in peace to this person. I'm sorry that you learned
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Speaker 1: a terrible hard way that absolutely sucks, but I'm glad, like, obviously,
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Speaker 1: the one thing that you can say is I'm glad
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Speaker 1: the kids were not in the car when that happened.
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Speaker 1: Now on to the next one. Am I the a-hole
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Speaker 1: for telling my wife I want a divorce after she
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Speaker 1: gave me a concussion? That hits close to home. After work,
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Speaker 1: I was playing with my son and went to the
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Speaker 1: kitchen to throw out a diaper. When I walked into
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Speaker 1: the room, my wife started shouting at me, claiming I
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Speaker 1: hadn't been doing anything since I got home. Mind you,
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Speaker 1: I had just spent the last two hours cleaning the kitchen,
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Speaker 1: washing dishes, picking up the living room, and putting my
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Speaker 1: daughter to bed before going to the living room to
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Speaker 1: play with my son online. While I continued to pick up,
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Speaker 1: I was frustrated by her comment and asked her what
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Speaker 1: she meant and even outlined everything I had been doing.
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Speaker 1: I left the room and started to walk up the
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Speaker 1: stairs to my living room. I was struck in the
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Speaker 1: side of the head with a sealed cardboard box weighing
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Speaker 1: about two pounds. This was from about 15 feet away
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Speaker 1: and thrown at full force. So I was dazed for
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Speaker 1: a moment. After confronting her about why she did this,
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Speaker 1: she continued to yell at me and not show any concern.
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Speaker 1: Upset and in quite a lot of pain, I went
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Speaker 1: to sit with my son and process what had just happened.
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Speaker 1: After about 45 minutes, I was experiencing a growing headache
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Speaker 1: and having some problems with the muscles in the right
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Speaker 1: side of my face. face and jaw? I gave her
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Speaker 1: my son and I went to the ER because something
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Speaker 1: wasn't right. I ended up spending the night in a
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Speaker 1: hotel and the next day began contacting resources and scheduling
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Speaker 1: follow-ups and medical and mental health appointments. The headache lasted
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Speaker 1: eight days. I experienced a wide range of symptoms related
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Speaker 1: to the head injury. I missed over a full week
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Speaker 1: of work and it has been pretty difficult experience navigating
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Speaker 1: all my emotions while recovering and experiencing some bizarre cognitive issues.
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Speaker 1: Needless to say, I've been keeping my distance from my
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Speaker 1: wife while I've been recovering. Over the last few years,
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Speaker 1: I've been dealing with regular emotional abuse in the form
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Speaker 1: of insults, constant belittling, and threats of divorce. And this
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Speaker 1: is probably the sixth incident of violent behavior from her
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Speaker 1: in the last seven years. The only time that she
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Speaker 1: has ever used an object. And I have curious concerns
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Speaker 1: that she could have easily just thrown something that could
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Speaker 1: have broken my skull, and now seriously concerned about what
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Speaker 1: will happen next time. I'm not willing to wait and
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Speaker 1: find out, only to realize I should have left long ago.
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Speaker 1: She has no diagnosed mental health disorders, but how out
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Speaker 1: of control she is when she's angry is so alarming,
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Speaker 1: and it seems to be escalating. Additionally, she refuses to
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Speaker 1: apologize for any other words or actions since I met her.
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Speaker 1: Even after being diagnosed with a concussion, all she will
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Speaker 1: say regarding this event are things like, you know I
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Speaker 1: didn't mean it, I can't aim that well. Over the
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Speaker 1: last week, I was essentially living in a blacked out
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Speaker 1: bedroom and listening to audiobooks between my frequent naps. Up
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Speaker 1: to yesterday, I have avoided engaging with her in conversation
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Speaker 1: or anything that seems like I'm being baited into an argument.
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Speaker 1: I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to handle
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Speaker 1: any emotionally charged conversation and wanted to focus on my recovery.
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Speaker 1: Last night I told her I've been walking on eggshells
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Speaker 1: around her for the last year and I'm not comfortable
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Speaker 1: being around her. I just don't see there being any
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Speaker 1: way to mend this relationship after this. I just don't
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Speaker 1: see myself being able to emotionally open up to someone
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Speaker 1: who has injured me, ever. Her response has been to
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Speaker 1: schedule marriage counseling and that she keeps making strange comments
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Speaker 1: about how I have to be willing to make it
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Speaker 1: work for counseling to be effective. She doesn't seem to
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Speaker 1: have the ability to understand that this won't ever be
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Speaker 1: water under the bridge and that she destroyed what was
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Speaker 1: left of our relationship, which isn't much. And there hasn't
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Speaker 1: been any physical intimacy in two years due to some
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Speaker 1: medical complications from the pregnancy and birth of our son.
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Speaker 1: She refused me any physical contact and lately I have
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Speaker 1: been struggling with the idea of continuing to live in
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Speaker 1: this strange celibate lifestyle for the sake of maintaining a
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Speaker 1: stable home for my children. I've been open about this
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Speaker 1: with my close friends and mentors and now I need
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Speaker 1: to leave because domestic violence rarely stops and I want
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Speaker 1: to better myself and for my children. I decided to
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Speaker 1: pursue divorcing her and I think a large part of
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Speaker 1: telling so many people is to force my own hand
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Speaker 1: due to the embarrassment and shame that staying with her
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Speaker 1: would cause. I told the therapist this and I want
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Speaker 1: his help navigating towards the goal but I'm having a
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Speaker 1: very hard time. I'm struggling with the idea of tearing
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Speaker 1: my family apart and the effect it will have on
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Speaker 1: our four-year-old daughter. Today she was being unusually sweet and
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Speaker 1: wanted to sit with me and i refused and she
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Speaker 1: made me out to be the asshole and accused me
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Speaker 1: of not wanting to try i feel like i'm being
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Speaker 1: heavily manipulated and my desire to be a peacemaker and
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Speaker 1: nurturer is being twisted against me when i mentioned this
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Speaker 1: she got highly offended and accused me of wanting to
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Speaker 1: destroy the family This has been a wild experience and
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Speaker 1: it has been difficult to process. I have no experience
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Speaker 1: with emotional or physical abuse in a relationship prior to this.
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Speaker 1: Am I being the asshole for refusing to entertain opening
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Speaker 1: up to her or participate in couples therapy due to
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Speaker 1: fear of being manipulated? Should I stick to what I
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Speaker 1: know to do intellectually and totally ignore my emotions and
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Speaker 1: stick to my initial gut instinct to leave her? There's
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Speaker 1: a follow-up, but first, there is something that they said
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Speaker 1: that was really, really important. If domestic assault, if violence
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Speaker 1: in the home is happening, it rarely ever stops. You
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Speaker 1: need to not be with that person. Maybe one day
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Speaker 1: down the road, once they've turned a new bridge, but
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Speaker 1: you need to break that, especially when there's a child involved,
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Speaker 1: because they are aware. They're watching everything, and if they're
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Speaker 1: seeing you get hurt, they're remembering that you got hurt.
9:48
Speaker 1: There's a follow-up here. I can't believe the level of
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Speaker 1: support I've gotten since posting this. Most of you shared
9:53
Speaker 1: the same message, and I really appreciate that. There is
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Speaker 1: quite a bit of very thoughtful advice and many points
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Speaker 1: I hadn't considered. I made up my mind to stick
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Speaker 1: to my intuition, and move on from this relationship. My
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Speaker 1: biggest concern is now for my children and I hadn't
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Speaker 1: really considered what would happen to them if she didn't
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Speaker 1: have me as an outlet for her anger. Today I
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Speaker 1: spoke to a highly recommended attorney and she agreed to
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Speaker 1: represent me and is helping me file a protection order.
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Speaker 1: I really appreciate the effort that everyone put into helping
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Speaker 1: me get my head straight and I intend to follow
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Speaker 1: up with several of you directly. That's really beautiful. I'm
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Speaker 1: glad that you had a community that popped up with you.
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Speaker 1: Concussions are insane and for someone to cause that. Concussions, hey,
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Speaker 1: Adam's been living with post-concussion syndrome. You know, I could
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Speaker 1: never imagine causing that kind of injury. We had the
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Speaker 1: year of darkness. We had no sound in our house
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Speaker 1: for over a year while he tried to heal and
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Speaker 1: if somebody, especially the person you loved, caused that to you,
10:35
Speaker 1: get out. I'm so happy you were sticking to your guns.
10:37
Speaker 1: I'm so happy. I'm so curious where you are now.
10:40
Speaker 1: Let's see if there's a new comment. A lot of
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Speaker 1: people just saying to go to the police and stuff
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Speaker 1: like that. not the asshole. This is domestic violence and
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Speaker 1: you should take it very seriously. Please explore resources in
10:48
Speaker 1: your area and consider contacting police. Because here's the thing,
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Speaker 1: a lot of the time too, when the man is
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Speaker 1: experiencing it from a woman, people like don't take it
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Speaker 1: as seriously. It is just as scary, just as important.
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Speaker 1: It's not cool. Now we have, am I the a-hole
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Speaker 1: for telling my brother-in-law I will never forgive his daughter
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Speaker 1: and have no intention of having her near my family? Juicy.
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Speaker 1: Let's get into it. I love the drama. So the
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Speaker 1: people involved here are me, 30 female, my husband, 35 male,
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Speaker 1: my older sister, 35 female, and my sister's son, Kevin,
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Speaker 1: 14 male, her husband, Joe, male, 40, and Joe's daughter, Kelly, female, 15.
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Speaker 1: My sister had a blended family with her bio son,
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Speaker 1: her husband, and her stepdaughter. I would say it was
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Speaker 1: a work in progress for them, but we all accepted
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Speaker 1: and included Joe and Kelly into our lives. A few
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Speaker 1: weeks ago, my husband and I organized a little get-together
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Speaker 1: at our place to celebrate my birthday and for people
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Speaker 1: in our family to spend time with our six-month-old son.
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Speaker 1: The people present were my sister and her family and
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Speaker 1: our parents, so very intimate and chill. Everything went well
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Speaker 1: and nothing out of the ordinary happened. But some days
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Speaker 1: after the gathering, my nephew, Kevin, came to our house
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Speaker 1: and asked to speak For info, Kevin and Kelly attend
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Speaker 1: the same school and have some mutual friends. My nephew
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Speaker 1: told me that Kelly had been telling her friends that
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Speaker 1: during the gathering, he has seen her step-uncle's, my husband's, organ.
12:03
Speaker 1: She claims that she was in the bathroom and my
12:04
Speaker 1: husband entered without knocking. And he had his organ outside
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Speaker 1: his pants. And this is how she ended up seeing it.
12:10
Speaker 1: This is absurd because my husband doesn't do this, even
12:13
Speaker 1: when we are alone in our home. And honestly, who
12:15
Speaker 1: does that when they know that you have guests over?
12:18
Speaker 1: So I asked everybody who was present that day to
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Speaker 1: meet at my parents' house and confronted Kelly. She started
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Speaker 1: crying and confessed she lied to her friends. According to her,
12:27
Speaker 1: all of her girlfriends had already had some sort of
12:29
Speaker 1: intimacy and experiences, and she hadn't had any by this point.
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Speaker 1: So she invented this story to look cool in front
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Speaker 1: of her friends. I lost it, called her a disgusting
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Speaker 1: POS and psychopath, and told her she risked My son's
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Speaker 1: father's life just to boost her stupid social life among
12:45
Speaker 1: her friends I told the rest of my family going
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Speaker 1: forward that I will never bring my family near Kelly
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Speaker 1: again The consequence for this girl came fast My nephew
12:54
Speaker 1: told everybody at school the truth My sister and Joe
12:57
Speaker 1: went to the school and informed the principal about what
12:59
Speaker 1: happened So in my case, the teacher hears that BS
13:02
Speaker 1: and know that it's made up so they don't take action.
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Speaker 1: My parents cut contact with her and will not host
13:07
Speaker 1: her at their house anymore. And my sister refuses to
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Speaker 1: have Kelly live with them. So she is permanently moved
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Speaker 1: to her mother's place. Before you start judging my sister
13:15
Speaker 1: for this, please keep in mind that she has a
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Speaker 1: bio son who really needs to be protected. If Kelly
13:20
Speaker 1: could so easily invent and tell those things about my husband,
13:23
Speaker 1: who can guarantee that she will not lie about her
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Speaker 1: stepbrother too? Now, Joe is obviously hurt and torn about
13:29
Speaker 1: everything that has happened, and he keeps telling me that
13:31
Speaker 1: Kelly is depressed and wants to apologize to my family,
13:34
Speaker 1: but I keep refusing. I explained to him that I
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Speaker 1: don't need her apology and she shouldn't waste her time
13:39
Speaker 1: because this is something I will never forget or move past.
13:42
Speaker 1: Joe keeps begging me to forgive her and that she's
13:44
Speaker 1: just a stupid teenager and maybe my sister sees me
13:47
Speaker 1: forgiving her, she'll be willing to eventually accept Kelly back.
13:50
Speaker 1: I told Joe that a stupid teenager can have all
13:53
Speaker 1: the power to ruin a man's life and the reputation,
13:55
Speaker 1: so I'm not risking it. Also, I fully support my
13:58
Speaker 1: sister and I want to protect my nephew too. Before
14:00
Speaker 1: Kelly was moved to her mother's, Kevin stayed with me
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Speaker 1: and my husband for some days. So I don't regret
14:06
Speaker 1: my decision at all, and I stand by everything that
14:08
Speaker 1: I said, but I do feel bad for my brother-in-law.
14:11
Speaker 1: Regardless of how messed up his daughter is, he's a
14:13
Speaker 1: great guy, respectful, and really values the concept of family
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Speaker 1: and honesty, so I don't know. I guess I want
14:19
Speaker 1: to ask if I was the a-hole towards him. Okay,
14:22
Speaker 1: so this one, old 15-year-old girl here, I could see
14:26
Speaker 1: being caught up in the moment, peer pressure, wanting to
14:28
Speaker 1: say something to impress somebody, not impress, you know, and
14:30
Speaker 1: then getting blown out of proportion. Yes. What I think
14:33
Speaker 1: is great here is that she was confronted, admitted her lied,
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Speaker 1: and she was punished. Do I think that that should
14:39
Speaker 1: last forever? No. Did she learn her lesson? That's something
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Speaker 1: I can't tell. We don't know what she's like. Is
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Speaker 1: it the only time she's ever done anything like this?
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't make this a forever thing. You've been punished.
14:48
Speaker 1: You've seen what happens when you lie. I think that
14:51
Speaker 1: this kid at 15 deserves another chance. 15 is a- crazy,
14:54
Speaker 1: crazy time. She could have taken down that whole thing,
14:56
Speaker 1: but when she was confronted, she admitted it was a
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Speaker 1: lie immediately. She didn't dig deeper and deeper and deeper,
15:01
Speaker 1: and that gives you a lot of tact with me. Anyways,
15:04
Speaker 1: here's what people say. Kevin showed his maturity here. He
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Speaker 1: realized how devastating this lie could be for your husband. Yes, Kevin,
15:09
Speaker 1: great job. OP does say he made excuses for her,
15:13
Speaker 1: but he is still her father. That isn't going to change.
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Speaker 1: He cares for her even when she did something incredibly
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Speaker 1: stupid due to social pressure. So trying to make amends
15:21
Speaker 1: and trying to get his family back isn't something weird
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Speaker 1: to do, nor not serious. People with kids don't just
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Speaker 1: write them off. The fact that he agreed that she
15:28
Speaker 1: live with her mother and stick to his wife's side
15:29
Speaker 1: of the family shows he does take it seriously and
15:32
Speaker 1: doesn't mean he won't try to fix it. Hmm. Oh
15:35
Speaker 1: my gosh. There's... Should we go down the rabbit hole?
15:38
Speaker 1: They're like, the OP should read this. Let's read it.
15:41
Speaker 1: That's juicy. Okay. Down the rabbit hole we go. New update.
15:44
Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole for telling my 19-year-old daughter that
15:47
Speaker 1: she will have to move out of my house if
15:48
Speaker 1: I get a divorce because her lies after her stepdad
15:51
Speaker 1: saw her naked? Oh no, we're learning lessons here. Throw
15:55
Speaker 1: away a count to this situation, but I need to
15:57
Speaker 1: know because I'm getting calls and texts from my family
16:00
Speaker 1: calling me an a-hole for not being on my daughter's side.
16:02
Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for a little
16:03
Speaker 1: over five years now. I will say that my daughter, 19, female,
16:07
Speaker 1: and he has an okay relationship. Not exactly father and daughter,
16:10
Speaker 1: but almost advice asked and given relationship, basically. I have
16:14
Speaker 1: never picked up on anything weird from my husband towards
16:17
Speaker 1: my daughter, and my daughter has never said or insinuated
16:20
Speaker 1: anything at all. On Thursday, me and my husband were
16:22
Speaker 1: watching a movie in the living rooms. We paused the
16:24
Speaker 1: movie as he got up to go to the bathroom.
16:26
Speaker 1: I heard him knocking on the door twice, at least
16:28
Speaker 1: three knocks each time on the door, a couple seconds apart.
16:30
Speaker 1: It was loud enough for me to hear him knocking
16:32
Speaker 1: from the living room. The next moment, I heard screaming.
16:34
Speaker 1: I rushed to the bathroom and saw my daughter completely naked,
16:37
Speaker 1: covering herself, yelling at my husband to get out. I
16:39
Speaker 1: didn't see everything that happened, but what I saw after
16:42
Speaker 1: I heard the yelling was my husband literally fell over
16:44
Speaker 1: his own feet and was struggling to get the bathroom
16:46
Speaker 1: door closed. I asked my husband what happened and he
16:48
Speaker 1: said that he knocked and no one answered. So he
16:50
Speaker 1: went in and my daughter was naked in front of
16:52
Speaker 1: the mirror as he tried to get out. After my
16:55
Speaker 1: daughter calmed down, I asked her her side of what happened,
16:58
Speaker 1: and she said she was changing when all of a
17:00
Speaker 1: sudden my husband walked into the bathroom. I asked her
17:02
Speaker 1: why she didn't answer when he knocked, and she said
17:05
Speaker 1: he didn't. I told her I heard him knock, so
17:07
Speaker 1: I am sure that he did. She said that she
17:09
Speaker 1: didn't hear it because she had her AirPods in listening
17:12
Speaker 1: to music. I got the situation sorted, and my husband
17:15
Speaker 1: did apologize to her and explain that he thought the
17:17
Speaker 1: bathroom was empty and he had walked in. She gave
17:19
Speaker 1: him a long hug and apologized for yelling at him.
17:22
Speaker 1: The problem now is that my daughter got family members
17:25
Speaker 1: involved and now they're calling my husband a creep. I
17:27
Speaker 1: got a call from my sister berating me for having
17:29
Speaker 1: my husband in the house. I asked her what she
17:32
Speaker 1: meant and it all came out that my daughter had
17:34
Speaker 1: spun a whole other story and left out the fact
17:36
Speaker 1: that she was listening to music with her airpods telling
17:38
Speaker 1: everyone that she answered him and he still walked into
17:41
Speaker 1: the bathroom to look at her. We have cameras in
17:42
Speaker 1: our hallway and it proves that my husband knocked and
17:44
Speaker 1: you can see him in the video but the camera
17:46
Speaker 1: has no audio. I sat my daughter down and I
17:48
Speaker 1: asked her and she denied saying anything like that and
17:51
Speaker 1: that she told anyone that I got mad and asked
17:54
Speaker 1: them how does your aunt know what happened and then
17:56
Speaker 1: she went silent. She said that she had talked to
17:58
Speaker 1: her niece about it and she must have told her mother.
18:00
Speaker 1: I asked her why she did lie about what happened
18:04
Speaker 1: and made my husband look bad when he did nothing
18:06
Speaker 1: wrong and she again denied lying or saying anything about it.
18:10
Speaker 1: I told her what my sister told me. She just
18:13
Speaker 1: started to cry and say sorry. She was just talking
18:15
Speaker 1: about it and making up scenarios with the woman's niece.
18:18
Speaker 1: This is like the same thing. The whole day yesterday,
18:21
Speaker 1: I got calls and texts from my family members as
18:24
Speaker 1: the word spread. The wrong story is spreading and my
18:26
Speaker 1: husband is looking like a creep to everyone. I sat
18:29
Speaker 1: my daughter down again and I had read her some
18:31
Speaker 1: of the things being said about my husband and told
18:33
Speaker 1: her she has to fix this because her lying is
18:35
Speaker 1: what caused it. She refused saying she didn't spread this
18:38
Speaker 1: and that she had only told the niece and doesn't
18:40
Speaker 1: want to say anything to anyone because they will think
18:42
Speaker 1: bad things about her. She said that she knows that
18:44
Speaker 1: this will all just blow over. Everything did blow up
18:46
Speaker 1: when my husband walked into the living room with his
18:48
Speaker 1: bags packed and said he's going to go stay with
18:51
Speaker 1: his parents for a while because he doesn't want to
18:52
Speaker 1: be in this situation anymore where he is made out
18:55
Speaker 1: to be this kind of person. My daughter broke down
18:57
Speaker 1: and apologized repeatedly and said that she will fix it
19:00
Speaker 1: and my husband still left. i told her if we
19:02
Speaker 1: get divorced because of her lives she will be moving
19:05
Speaker 1: out of my house i told her she better fix
19:07
Speaker 1: what she did and tell everyone what really happened because
19:10
Speaker 1: i will not be losing a man that loves me
19:12
Speaker 1: and actually cares for me over her lies she asked
19:15
Speaker 1: me to help her and i told her she's not
19:17
Speaker 1: a child anymore and that what her lies for attention
19:20
Speaker 1: did this and that this is on her i already
19:22
Speaker 1: tried and now i am also being accused of taking
19:24
Speaker 1: my husband's side and not providing a safe space for
19:27
Speaker 1: my daughter I don't know what to do. My husband
19:29
Speaker 1: asked for space. My daughter is inconsolable at the moment
19:31
Speaker 1: and I am not the best myself. Oh my God. Okay. Okay.
19:35
Speaker 1: Here's the newest update. Been a while and I see
19:37
Speaker 1: a bunch of people asking for updates. I wasn't in
19:39
Speaker 1: the mood as I've been crying myself to sleep every night.
19:42
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do anymore. I lost my husband, family,
19:45
Speaker 1: and my daughter. Thank you to everyone, but it is official.
19:49
Speaker 1: I'm getting divorced. I was served with divorce papers and
19:51
Speaker 1: my husband wants nothing to do with us anymore. I
19:54
Speaker 1: have moved out of the house. I'm currently staying with
19:56
Speaker 1: a friend until I can get my life back together,
19:58
Speaker 1: but I have completely cut out communication with my family. What?
20:02
Speaker 1: My daughter is dropping out of college because my ex
20:04
Speaker 1: is now refusing to cover anything. I don't have enough
20:07
Speaker 1: money for myself. I don't want anything. Last message I
20:10
Speaker 1: got from him was asking if I signed the divorce
20:12
Speaker 1: papers yet. Oh, I'm so sorry. That sucks so bad.
20:16
Speaker 1: But like, if you know you didn't do anything, you
20:18
Speaker 1: need to stand on that too. I feel so bad.
20:21
Speaker 1: I feel so bad. I just feel like, I just
20:24
Speaker 1: feel like that's a horrible situation and your daughter really
20:28
Speaker 1: needed to stand up and there just needed to be
20:30
Speaker 1: a ukulele YouTube video. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Next up
20:34
Speaker 1: we have, am I the a-hole for falling out of
20:36
Speaker 1: love with my wife after she took a seven week vacation? Ooh. Ooh. I,
20:41
Speaker 1: a 32 male, have been married to my wife, 30 female,
20:44
Speaker 1: for four years, and we've been together for eight. She's
20:46
Speaker 1: a stayed-out mom, and we have Irish twins, one female,
20:49
Speaker 1: two male, which is incredibly taxing for my wife. She
20:52
Speaker 1: wanted a solo break for a few weeks where she
20:54
Speaker 1: could travel to different states and visit her high school
20:56
Speaker 1: and college friends, go to concerts, do a lot of
20:59
Speaker 1: fun stuff. She asked if I would be fine with it.
21:01
Speaker 1: I asked if she could make it a couple of
21:03
Speaker 1: weeks shorter because seven weeks managing our two children alone
21:06
Speaker 1: sounded very daunting, especially since work was also getting very
21:09
Speaker 1: taxing recently. I do work remote at least, so that
21:12
Speaker 1: works in my favor. My wife and I discussed it
21:15
Speaker 1: for a couple of days, and I ultimately agreed with
21:17
Speaker 1: her that she did deserve a break because what she
21:19
Speaker 1: has been doing the last few years. nice. She also
21:22
Speaker 1: took her vacation the first week managing our children alone
21:25
Speaker 1: was extremely difficult because I did feel like I was
21:27
Speaker 1: losing my mind but I survived. My sister came over
21:30
Speaker 1: to help me the second week on. She was honestly
21:32
Speaker 1: a lifesaver and I will be eternally grateful to her.
21:35
Speaker 1: I never directly asked her to come and help me
21:37
Speaker 1: but I guess I did indirectly because when she video
21:40
Speaker 1: called me at the end of the first week I
21:41
Speaker 1: basically broke down in tears. So from the second week on,
21:44
Speaker 1: my sister stayed over at my house to help with
21:46
Speaker 1: my children, and the huge burden had been lifted off
21:49
Speaker 1: my shoulders. I also was really able to focus on
21:51
Speaker 1: work and meet my deadlines. To be brutally honest, I
21:54
Speaker 1: did not miss my wife at all. I was emotionally
21:56
Speaker 1: and mentally relaxed, and also had a lot of fun
21:59
Speaker 1: with my children and my sister. It felt like a
22:01
Speaker 1: sense of betrayal that my wife had actually gone through
22:04
Speaker 1: with the seven-week vacation. I slowly fell out of love
22:07
Speaker 1: with my wife. When my wife came back from her vacation,
22:10
Speaker 1: she was super refreshed and recharged, and to be honest,
22:13
Speaker 1: I was a bit indifferent. My wife had tried to
22:15
Speaker 1: initiate sexy time for the first time since she came back,
22:18
Speaker 1: which I rejected because I wasn't feeling it. The subsequent days,
22:22
Speaker 1: I had the same level of indifference in our day-to-day life,
22:25
Speaker 1: and she probably noticed it and didn't say anything. A
22:27
Speaker 1: week later, she asked why I was like this, and
22:30
Speaker 1: I told her, I don't love you anymore. She apologized
22:32
Speaker 1: for taking the seven-week vacation and asked if there was
22:35
Speaker 1: anything she could do to fix it. I told her no.
22:37
Speaker 1: We pretty much went through the motions the next couple
22:39
Speaker 1: weeks before I finally decided that I wanted a divorce.
22:42
Speaker 1: She seemed devastated when I brought divorce up, which surprised
22:45
Speaker 1: me because I already told her I didn't love her anymore.
22:47
Speaker 1: She asked if we could do couples therapy or marriage
22:50
Speaker 1: counseling first before I started looking for a divorce lawyer,
22:53
Speaker 1: and I told her I needed some time to think
22:55
Speaker 1: about it. I spent a few days thinking about it
22:57
Speaker 1: and I'm still leaning towards divorce because I basically don't
23:00
Speaker 1: love my wife anymore and I don't think marriage counseling
23:03
Speaker 1: can fix it. Am I the a-hole for falling out
23:05
Speaker 1: of love with my wife because of a seven-week vacation?
23:08
Speaker 1: I don't think it was a seven-week vacation. Marriage and
23:10
Speaker 1: love is weird and it's tricky. And when you have
23:12
Speaker 1: a baby, it's way trickier. When you have Irish twins,
23:14
Speaker 1: I can't even think of that. If you're wondering what
23:16
Speaker 1: Irish twins are, they're twins that are born within 18
23:19
Speaker 1: months or something like that or within a calendar year.
23:21
Speaker 1: I don't know. Okay, don't take me on that. You
23:22
Speaker 1: can put that here. What's an Irish twin? cool uh
23:27
Speaker 1: a couple questions here you're falling out of love with
23:28
Speaker 1: your wife were you ever actually truly in love with
23:30
Speaker 1: your wife or was it exciting because it was new
23:32
Speaker 1: and then you had babies you're only together for four
23:34
Speaker 1: years that's pretty that's pretty i feel like everyone needs
23:36
Speaker 1: to be together for four years before they can get
23:37
Speaker 1: married so you did that that's cool but i'm gonna
23:39
Speaker 1: be i'm gonna be really honest here i think there
23:42
Speaker 1: was more to it i think you definitely should have
23:43
Speaker 1: gone to counseling i think that you need to have
23:45
Speaker 1: a really good reason to leave a marriage and maybe
23:47
Speaker 1: you do still love them maybe it's gonna come up
23:49
Speaker 1: in a I don't know, but there is an update.
23:54
Speaker 1: There is an update. I woke up this morning and
23:56
Speaker 1: spent an hour reading the comments and decided that I
23:58
Speaker 1: at least owe it to our children to try couples
24:00
Speaker 1: therapy before getting a divorce. I told my wife of
24:02
Speaker 1: my decision and she was really happy about it. But
24:04
Speaker 1: I also told her not to expect too much to
24:06
Speaker 1: come of it because I just didn't love my wife anymore.
24:08
Speaker 1: Stop saying that. And I wasn't sure if couples counseling
24:11
Speaker 1: would fix that. I want to clarify a couple of things.
24:13
Speaker 1: Money was not an issue. I'm lucky to be working
24:15
Speaker 1: in a high-paying job. It's not stressful. I really didn't
24:18
Speaker 1: bother me how much money my wife spent on our trip.
24:20
Speaker 1: The main issue was I was emotionally and mentally overwhelmed
24:23
Speaker 1: managing two children also working full-time. Okay, babe. The full time,
24:27
Speaker 1: your sister swung in and took care every day after
24:29
Speaker 1: your first week. She's been doing it all day, all
24:31
Speaker 1: night for two freaking years. My sister had enough time
24:34
Speaker 1: to come and help me for the second week on.
24:35
Speaker 1: She really wanted to because gave her purpose in life
24:37
Speaker 1: and she had no plans to be in the workforce
24:39
Speaker 1: and she's pretty much set in life because of my
24:41
Speaker 1: father's money. I did ask my father not to leave
24:44
Speaker 1: any money behind for me and give everything to my
24:46
Speaker 1: sister because I was already in the workforce and had
24:48
Speaker 1: a good job. That's so random. It sounds like, am
24:50
Speaker 1: I a weirdo for being like, it sounds like you
24:51
Speaker 1: love your sister, weird. That's not right. Did your mind go? Okay,
24:55
Speaker 1: tell me if your mind went there. Anyways, top comment.
24:57
Speaker 1: I wonder if it really was a vacation or if
24:59
Speaker 1: she had checked herself into rehab or something because that's
25:01
Speaker 1: really weird behavior. Someone said, I was wondering if she
25:03
Speaker 1: was in a mental health facility. Maybe she had a
25:04
Speaker 1: really bad case of PPD. Can you imagine you do
25:07
Speaker 1: that sneakily so your husband doesn't judge you and you
25:09
Speaker 1: come home and he doesn't even want you? Seven weeks,
25:11
Speaker 1: only two calls. It sounded like she went away and
25:13
Speaker 1: was considering a divorce herself and changed her mind. There's
25:16
Speaker 1: so many ways to look at this. Interesting. Last one.
25:24
Speaker 1: Am I the a-hole for divorcing my wife over Botox
25:27
Speaker 1: and fillers? We'll see how much she got and then
25:30
Speaker 1: we'll talk about those. My wife is beautiful. She has
25:33
Speaker 1: always been one to turn heads and draw attention with
25:36
Speaker 1: her natural looks. Loops, what was that, looks? I love
25:40
Speaker 1: her face, her expressions, smile lines, all of it. Oh,
25:43
Speaker 1: that's so cute. I explained to her that I thought
25:46
Speaker 1: the treatments changed her face in a negative way. The puffiness,
25:49
Speaker 1: the shiny paralyzed forehead, and the overall fake look are
25:52
Speaker 1: a major turn off for me. She agreed and promised
25:55
Speaker 1: and swore that she wouldn't do anymore. Fast forward six
25:59
Speaker 1: months and I noticed a change in her forehead again
26:01
Speaker 1: and confronted her. She instantly got defensive and said that
26:04
Speaker 1: I can't tell her what to do. I let things
26:05
Speaker 1: cool down. We had another long discussion about it in
26:08
Speaker 1: which she saw my point and would stop. Four months later,
26:10
Speaker 1: I get the big F you and she initially tries
26:13
Speaker 1: to say that a mask tightened her skin, which I
26:15
Speaker 1: knew was BS and then came the defensiveness again. I
26:18
Speaker 1: told her I was done. She absolutely can do whatever
26:20
Speaker 1: she wants with her face, but I don't want to
26:22
Speaker 1: watch it. I am filing for a divorce tomorrow and
26:25
Speaker 1: I am being made out to feel like I am
26:26
Speaker 1: petty with my feelings and that they're not justified. Yes,
26:29
Speaker 1: I can tell when it's done and I hate it,
26:31
Speaker 1: but the behavior behind it is even more concerning with
26:33
Speaker 1: the secrecy and the lying. I feel like I'm in
26:35
Speaker 1: a marriage where we should consider each other's feelings and
26:37
Speaker 1: our actions. If she came to me with such a concern,
26:40
Speaker 1: I would stop just because I value her opinion most.
26:43
Speaker 1: So this icks me. This freaking icks me. Your face
26:47
Speaker 1: is your face. What you want to do to your
26:49
Speaker 1: face is a thing. I get Botox and fillers. I
26:51
Speaker 1: don't get fillers anymore. The last time I got fillers
26:54
Speaker 1: was almost three, it'll be three years ago as of
26:56
Speaker 1: this December. I used to get lip fillers because I
26:58
Speaker 1: literally had no upper lip. And I went into that,
26:59
Speaker 1: Adam was like, like you don't have to you don't
27:01
Speaker 1: need this you don't i like blah blah but you
27:03
Speaker 1: know what he said i want you to be happy
27:04
Speaker 1: i love you and if that's what makes you happy
27:06
Speaker 1: then do it and that's what i don't like in
27:08
Speaker 1: this situation right here i understand maybe you don't like
27:10
Speaker 1: how she looks but she likes how she looks and
27:12
Speaker 1: guess what you're not living in her body she's living
27:15
Speaker 1: in her body for me there's a couple things i
27:16
Speaker 1: don't like about my face i just get botox now
27:19
Speaker 1: i'll tell you everything i've had done i am not
27:20
Speaker 1: afraid of this years ago five years ago i got
27:23
Speaker 1: under eye feeler I honestly didn't really notice a difference
27:25
Speaker 1: at all. I've had filler right here because I'm a
27:28
Speaker 1: big girl and I got a bit jowly, so I
27:30
Speaker 1: put some filler in there. I tried cheek filler once,
27:32
Speaker 1: it felt horrible, I made her stop, so that doesn't
27:33
Speaker 1: even count. And then I get Botox for my 11s,
27:36
Speaker 1: I got Botox for my crinkle chins and for my
27:38
Speaker 1: pull downs, and then just like a little spattering of
27:40
Speaker 1: it around my face. I don't feel like I notice
27:42
Speaker 1: too much of a difference when I do it. When
27:43
Speaker 1: I look back at old photos of myself, because I
27:45
Speaker 1: haven't had Botox in five months, But I don't do
27:48
Speaker 1: it as hard as I used to either. Like, I
27:50
Speaker 1: still have, like, full movement. But yeah, my face doesn't
27:52
Speaker 1: do as many things. I've kept up with it since
27:54
Speaker 1: I was in my mid-20s. I don't have any lines
27:56
Speaker 1: on my forehead. I also am just not genetically like that.
27:58
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Adam's even brought up to me
28:00
Speaker 1: as of recent. He's like, I don't like Botox. I get, like,
28:02
Speaker 1: poison and all this. You know what? 80-20. I'm 80% good.
28:03
Speaker 1: I'm 20% bad. I do this because it makes me...
28:07
Speaker 1: feel better. I feel like my place for starting Botox
28:10
Speaker 1: and stuff is I spent so much of my 20s
28:12
Speaker 1: living in infertility and depression and not being able to,
28:16
Speaker 1: you know, exist that I felt like I looked older
28:19
Speaker 1: than I felt and then I actually was. So I
28:21
Speaker 1: started doing baby Botox and that's what I do. But
28:23
Speaker 1: this I don't like. And the fact that you would
28:24
Speaker 1: have a divorce from your wife because you don't like
28:26
Speaker 1: what she does to your face, you do not actually
28:28
Speaker 1: love your wife. Because if you actually loved your wife,
28:30
Speaker 1: you would have a normal intelligent conversation and She wouldn't
28:34
Speaker 1: feel the need to lie to you about why she's
28:36
Speaker 1: doing this. It's none... I get the lying and the secrecy,
28:40
Speaker 1: but why did she feel like she needed to do
28:42
Speaker 1: that to you? Okay, so, ooh, this made it to
28:44
Speaker 1: a popular site. Okay, let's see. Context, this guy comments. Oh,
28:49
Speaker 1: somebody looked at his profile. Listen to this. Context, this
28:52
Speaker 1: guy comments on inappropriate videos of young, perfect-looking women. His
28:56
Speaker 1: wife was disfigured in a dog attack and had a
28:59
Speaker 1: rough childhood, which contributed to low self-esteem about her looks.
29:03
Speaker 1: You can't just demand somebody be confident. You have to
29:07
Speaker 1: show them you find them attractive through your actions. Okay,
29:09
Speaker 1: so she's feeling compared. Wow, this is extremely important for context.
29:12
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing. OP had their comments history visible. It's
29:16
Speaker 1: hidden now. Which showed two important things. His wife has
29:18
Speaker 1: a facial deformity and he's really into really perfect looking women. So, oh,
29:22
Speaker 1: that's so weird. I'm curious as to why the mods
29:25
Speaker 1: deleted this important context. People are really talking about this.
29:30
Speaker 1: I had a vibe that he was a problem and
29:31
Speaker 1: being controlling and judgmental. Then this. You are an a-hole
29:35
Speaker 1: and a terrible husband. Go ahead and divorce her. She
29:38
Speaker 1: deserves better. Tiny clap. Tiny clap. A-freaking-men. I absolutely love it.
29:44
Speaker 1: You know what? I'm gonna tell you right now. Little
29:46
Speaker 1: Selena moment of the day. If anyone out there, if you...
29:49
Speaker 1: I hate static people. We need to have a conversation
29:51
Speaker 1: right now. We need to have a conversation right now
29:53
Speaker 1: about shitty relationships. If you are in a shitty relationship
29:56
Speaker 1: and it has been shitty and you have asked for
29:57
Speaker 1: them to change one million times, They're not going to change.
30:00
Speaker 1: But you know what will change? You leaving. If you leave,
30:03
Speaker 1: your life will change. It will get better. It might
30:05
Speaker 1: be hard for a minute. You might need to take
30:06
Speaker 1: some steps. But if you have been looking for a
30:08
Speaker 1: reason to finally say, get the fuck out, here you go. Anyways,
30:11
Speaker 1: I love you. I hope you had a great day.
30:12
Speaker 1: Don't forget my book, Hollow, is out now. It made
30:14
Speaker 1: the New York Times bestseller list. I really hope you
30:18
Speaker 1: love it. The audio is a fucking killer. So I
30:20
Speaker 1: love you. Until next time, stay spooky, poo crew.