Latest / The Daily Ripples Podcast / April 18 – Living in Honest Light

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April 18 – Living in Honest Light · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:03
  Hey guys, this is the Daily Ripple.
• 0:06
  This is Corey.
• 0:09
  And today is April 18th, Living in Honest Light.
• 0:13
  The Stone.
• 0:14
  Deception rarely begins with others, it begins within.
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  When I distort reality to protect my image or comfort, I slowly lose touch with truth.
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  Ripple won practical.
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  Today I will practice simple honesty.
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  I will resist exaggerating my motives, reshaping the story or pretending myself better than I am.
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  Integrity begins with telling the truth to myself before I try to speak it to anyone else.
• 0:43
  Ripple to spiritual.
• 0:45
  When I bring my life honestly before the Father, the Holy Spirit exposes what is false and strengthens what is true.
• 0:54
  Walking in the example of Christ who lived in complete truth, I learned that honesty is not something to fear.
• 1:04
  It is the foundation of freedom.
• 1:08
  And I think there's a lot to unpack in this.
• 1:11
  So when I think about what begins within, you know, at what point, you know, maybe some people are just, you know, naturally honest.
• 1:24
  I've been naturally ego-driven for a long time, and what that's looked like is deceiving, making people think I'm a lot better than I am.
• 1:38
  But I was thinking about an early lie that I told when I was young.
• 1:46
  We were playing in this after-school care, and we were on these little things that have four wheels.
• 1:52
  We were all playing, and I, like, kind of, like, slid one to my friend, and it busted her chin open.
• 2:03
  And I was so scared, but I remember coming up to her, like, because the teachers are all around, and, you know, we were just playing.
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  But, like, she got hurt, and we were walking up, and I was like, I just fell on my, fell kind of to my knees,
• 2:21
  And started holding my knee and saying, ow, because I wanted to make, to deceive the situation like I was hurt too.
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  I wanted to take off all this energy from her, put a little bit on me because I thought I might make it better.
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  And I don't know why I remember that, but it was, but I always lied.
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  You know, I always told stories and just crazy stories too.
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  And it came within.
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  Like, you know, it wasn't just like someone said it.
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  I said it.
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  But it says it begins within,
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  and on page 55 in the big book of Alcox Anonymous,
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  it says, we found the great reality deep within us.
• 3:05
  And then in the Bible,
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  it also says in 1 Corinthians 3.16,
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  don't you know that yourselves are God's temple
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  and that God's spirit dwells in your midst.
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  If anyone destroys God's temple,
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  God will destroy that person
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  for God's temple is sacred
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  and you together are that temple.
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  So that like, you know,
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  that double emphasizes that God's within me.
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  So, but I think, you know,
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  right and wrong and the deceiving
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  and it says when I distort reality
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  to protect my image or comfort,
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  I slowly lose touch with truth.
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  And I think we could come to agreeance that truth could be another label for God.
• 3:56
  I like truth.
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  I like love.
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  But so, you know, I come into these conflicts in my life.
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  And for some reason today, since I'm trying to practice more of a spiritual principled life,
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  I don't think that I don't lie anymore.
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  You know, I've been in these recovery rooms for some time,
• 4:14
  And I hear people come in and they're like, man, I just got to get honest today and, you know, tell you guys what happened.
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  Well, these recovery programs, they're sponsors.
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  They're sponsorship.
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  And I think sponsorship is very good for those situations because, you know, these recovery rooms.
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  I don't, I was talking to a guy one day and he, he called me.
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  It was about something that was going on in his life.
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  He was like, man, I went to the 12 o'clock meeting and decided to call somebody.
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  So I'm calling you to talk to you about it.
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  And I said, did you talk about it in the meeting?
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  He said, yeah.
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  And then he asked me if I was going to a meeting that night.
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  I told him I was.
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  He said, yeah, I'll be there.
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  And I said, hey, buddy, you don't, you know, we got this thing out.
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  Don't let this thing keep driving you.
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  And he's, oh, no, man, I'm good.
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  I'm good.
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  So I meet him at this meeting that night, and he shares, and the first thing out of his mouth is, man, I got to tell you guys something.
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  I can get in this hole of self-pity and dramatizing these issues even bigger than they really are because now I'm getting some attention from it.
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  And, man, if he was doing the best he knows how to do it, I've done the exact same thing.
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  That's why I'm able to spot that.
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  But, you know, I don't find to me when I came in these rooms and the recovery, I was honest.
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  And one of the acronyms or one of the sayings in there is this how.
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  Honesty, open-minded, and willingness.
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  I tried to find it in that order in places in this book, and I couldn't.
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  But, because I don't think it happens first.
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  I don't think I just become honest.
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  I think I use honesty as a thing or deception as a thing, depending on who I'm talking to.
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  Because we talk about, you know, we got these stage characters, and it's kind of referenced on page 73 in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  It says, more than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life.
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  He is very much the actor.
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  To the outer world, he presents a stage character.
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  this is the one he likes his fellows to see.
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  Well, man, I could sit in a room with some drug dealers
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  and really get relayed on some honesty there,
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  but leave out some things in my story there.
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  Then I could sit down with some construction workers
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  or some dads or some people in relationships
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  and this and this and this, and I'm not giving the whole truth.
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  I'm just giving bits and pieces to fit the narrative
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  of where I'm sitting at in that conversation with these people.
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  So I think it's important, you know, when I'm going through this work,
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  because, you know, the steps align in a way where I got to write some stuff down.
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  And my first sponsor told me, man, he said, you know,
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  you can lie to yourself and you can lie to others.
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  You've been doing it your whole life.
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  But it's pointless for the pen and the paper's time for you to lie to it.
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  You know, because I understood what he was saying,
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  And I didn't really want to do that because then I might like, you know, I might say something that I might have to put something down on paper.
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  I'm going to have to see it.
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  But as time went on, I found that, you know, that process is very important.
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  And the Bible kind of references it on Proverbs 28, 13.
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  Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
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  I like the word mercy. I like the word grace as well.
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  I don't think today, because I lived this life, I'm better than anyone still living that other life I lived.
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  That was that part of my life that I lived.
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  It got me to this point to where I'm at today.
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  I'm really grateful that it's not about things that, like, you know,
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  because I do think mercy is a huge thing, right?
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  Like, thank God for mercy because if it was what I deserve, I shouldn't be here.
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  You know, I have the little card in my pocket that I've been trying to do this thing where,
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  so on page 84 of the big book, it says some things and it's very, to me, it's a discipline.
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  So for a month, I kept them on a note card.
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  So on page 84, it says,
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  continue to watch for these things as they crop up.
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  And then it goes on to say,
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  selfish, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
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  Those are the things I'm watching for when they crop up
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  because they're going to crop up.
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  These things are going to crop up,
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  but probably my first action on when these things crop up
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  is probably a cuss word.
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  Um, but I think, you know, the practice and the discipline comes when I replace that cuss
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  word with a simple thing like, thy will be done.
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  Um, and that's a discipline within itself.
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  And I, you know, I don't, I'm not perfect at it.
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  I'm just trying to practice it a little bit, but I find it's a lot easier instead of going
• 9:34
  down this tremendous, like this big tornado.
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  Because it says when I distort reality, protect my image or comfort, I slowly lose touch with truth.
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  And when I'm running, when this like, you know, dishonesty thing comes up, I start rolling with it.
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  Because, you know, my pride tells me, man, I can't let them know that this is this and this is this.
• 9:55
  And, man, because it's all going to blow up.
• 9:58
  So after I tell the first time, man, I'm dipping in and I'm on this tornado.
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  And my pride and my ego tells me, you can't get off this thing.
• 10:07
  And then I got these stage characters of what if they're going to find out?
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  What if these people are going to find out I'm a fake, I'm a fraud, I'm a phony?
• 10:16
  It's all going to come to an end because this is how they like me.
• 10:19
  But I think, you know, that's where my ego gets it wrong.
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  I think I know how others like me.
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  But I know how God loves me right here, right now for who I am and always has.
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  And others do too.
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  But I have a false view of that, and I think I know how others want me to be seen.
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  Maybe because that's how I want to be seen.
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  But I have no idea, and that's the beautiful thing about it.
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  So I find it interesting where on page 61 in this big book it says, you know, he decides to exert himself.
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  He becomes on the next occasion.
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  So I'm on this tornado, still more demanding or gracious as the case may be.
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  And so I'm like, you know, I'm pushing this agenda even more because I don't want to get found out.
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  I don't want everything to fall around me.
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  Well, this is the promise.
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  If I get honest with somebody and I tell them, because it says when we decide to hear,
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  We're talking about, do our fifth step.
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  We have written an inventory.
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  So an inventory is a three-part thing or four-part if you want to get technical, but people know
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  it as a three-part, a resentment inventory, a fear inventory, and a sex conduct inventory.
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  It mentioned somewhere in there, write the names of all the people you've harmed, just
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  the names.
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  And we're prepared for a long talk.
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  And so when it goes on to the promises of what happens after that, it kind of tells me,
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  So it says, I pocket my pride.
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  It says we pocket our pride, but I'm so selfish.
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  The we's thing, I think when I read we, I think they're talking about you guys and not me.
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  So I like to put the I in there some places because it makes it more personal with me.
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  So it says, I pocket my pride and go into it, eliminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.
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  Once I've taken this step, withholding nothing.
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  What am I withholding?
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  I'm telling them everything.
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  My whole inventory and my life story.
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  It says it plain up there.
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  We are delighted.
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  I can look the world in the eye.
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  Why can I look the world in the eye?
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  Probably because I'm not looking at anybody like they're better than me or less than me.
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  I'm on an even playing field.
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  And I think that's so...
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  Because it doesn't matter if I'm in a jail cell, if I'm in a treatment center, I'm in trouble.
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  I still look at you either less than or more than.
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  And nine times out of 10, for some reason, I look at you less than,
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  and I build myself up and lie and make myself look more than.
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  And it's a crazy thing I've done in my life.
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  But it says we can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
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  Well, probably because I'm not running around trying to lie and manipulate,
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  and I'm one with this, and our fears fall from us.
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  Well, why is my fears falling from me?
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  probably because I got honest about some things and I'm not trying to hide these stage characters.
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  Then it says we begin to feel the nearness of our creator.
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  Well, we talked about that early on.
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  It said, you know, from deep, you know, the great reality is deep down within.
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  And the Bible kind of correlated right back to that as well.
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  So if God's deep down within and I'm pushing all these lies deep down within, I'm starting to get honest.
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  Man, I'm starting to feel this because, you know, I'm starting to sweep away this stuff, right?
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  And I'm starting to see clearly.
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  And I think that's when it talks about being awake, a spiritual awakening.
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  To me, awake is being able to see.
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  Then it goes on to even say, and this is like why I came into recovery rooms.
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  It says the feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly.
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  Well, I would think that would be talked about more instead of just go to these meetings and you'll be cool.
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  This is like we're the promise of the dream problem going away.
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  And that's the whole reason I came in there.
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  It says we feel we're on a broad highway, walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe.
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  And so we're going to kind of go through this because we got a little time and I got some time.
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  Then it goes on to say we thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.
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  So, like, I think I started with this, you know, I said, knowing Him, like, God being within, or God, truth, or God, love, you know,
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  if I come to this place and I've gotten honest, right, yeah, so if God's truth, then I have.
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  And this ripple right here, the ripple to spiritual, when I bring my life honestly before the Father and the Holy Spirit exposes what is false and strengthens what is true.
• 15:12
  That is something I come into conflict with just by doing that exercise in my head.
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  what happens time and time again, because also, I'm just jumping around, but this is
• 15:28
  probably important stuff to some, but it says on page 72 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous,
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  it says, it's impractical experience. We usually find a solitary, self-appraisal insufficient.
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  And why is that? Because it's been insufficient my whole life. It's never not been insufficient
• 15:48
  because I've done it my whole life.
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  That's as far as I ever got.
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  So I come in this position right here that, like, you know, I don't...
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  These recovery books tell me that I'm not like most people.
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  And the idea that I'm like other people has to be smashed.
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  And coming to that conclusion, it tells me that I have a disease
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  and I do have a disease, an illness of sorts.
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  So when I come to that position with an illness, it is not that I'm just a screw-up, right?
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  It's that I have an illness that when I take a drink, I want more.
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  And after a certain amount of time, I still drink, regardless of the consequences.
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  And only like 10% of people have that in the world.
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  So when I come to this place, I found that a self-appraisal was not enough.
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  Me doing that, so I had to have someone else.
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  And for some reason, writing it down, these things and seeing that, was important as well.
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  But then it goes on to say, walking the example of Christ who lived in complete truth,
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  I learned that honesty is not something to fear.
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  It is the foundation of freedom.
• 17:08
  And I agree.
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  But I think the other reason I come into conflict of that, we were at church the other day, and I hear these things.
• 17:22
  And today, because I grew up in these churches, and I didn't understand what they were talking about.
• 17:28
  And maybe that's because I didn't listen.
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  But I heard a lot of things like, you know, all you got to do is follow Christ and follow these things.
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  And I didn't know what that was talking about.
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  And it was cool because the pastor at this place, he had brought up this guy and he was talking about, you know, I found a day I need to do is serve.
• 17:51
  Serve and be of service to others.
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  And so when I come to that, that's a little bit more direction for someone like me.
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  And I need direction.
• 18:05
  That's not saying that I followed direction my whole life.
• 18:09
  But when it's in black and white and I know what to do, it kind of puts me and me and my sponsor, we talk a little bit about this quite a bit.
• 18:19
  And I think I might have heard it from someone else, maybe him first, but I agree with it.
• 18:24
  And this recovery thing is an institution with instructions on how to live.
• 18:31
  Instructions what to do to have a spiritual awakening with a higher power.
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  And, you know, I call God, but, you know, other people call it other things.
• 18:41
  And that's cool because I don't, I'm not worried about how other, you know,
• 18:44
  my whole purpose in those recovery rooms is to help the next sick and suffering alcoholic.
• 18:48
  That's the reason I'm there.
• 18:50
  But, you know, I don't care how people get up to the top of the mountain.
• 18:53
  It doesn't bother me just as long as I'm able to go on the ride with them.
• 18:58
  But, like, that institution is something that I found that I can live by.
• 19:05
  But that institution always also led me to my higher power, which I call God, Jesus Christ.
• 19:13
  And it's been something that's really helped me through my life.
• 19:18
  But for some reason, like I come into a place where I don't know if I could just, for someone like me, maybe very maladjusted to life and drunk, it was hard for me just to be honest.
• 19:32
  It was hard for me to ever be honest.
• 19:34
  And when I just come into these rooms, I don't expect people to be honest.
• 19:39
  I mean, you know, and immediately, how?
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  How is that even possible?
• 19:45
  How do you do that?
• 19:47
  And I had to have the 12 steps of the Alcoholics Synonymous
• 19:51
  and another man to guide me through this work to show me how to live.
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  So on page 164, it says,
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  Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.
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  Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows.
• 20:10
  You know, that's important because I think we're all our fellows.
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  Nobody's not within this fellow thing, right?
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  Because who else would we be?
• 20:20
  It says,
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  Clear away the wreckage of your past.
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  Give freely what you find and join us.
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  We shall be with you in the fellowship of the Spirit.
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  And you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road to happy destiny.
• 20:33
  May God bless you and keep you until then.
• 20:36
  Thank you guys for letting me rant on and talk.
• 20:41
  I'm really privileged to do this.
• 20:43
  It's overwhelming and I'm really grateful.
• 20:48
  The prayer says, Father, lead me into truth today.
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  Through your spirit, uncover what is hidden in me
• 20:57
  and help me walk in the honesty and integrity of your son.
• 21:01
  Amen.
• 21:02
  Yeah.