Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / Best Of 2025: Pregnancy Kink, Destroying A Car Door, Nana's Genius Parenting Lie

Transcript

Best Of 2025: Pregnancy Kink, Destroying A Car Door, Nana's Genius Parenting Lie · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: My name is Mattie J And I'm Ash and this
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: is a podcast all about parenting.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Is the good, it is the bad, and they're relatable
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: and we do not give advice. You're very good at that.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: You should do the introt more often.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Nah, this is the best of because Matt and I
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: are currently wear.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: At the moment, we actually detoured. We've been doing warmer countries.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: We decided to jump on a ship. We are circumnavigating Antarctica.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: We just wanted to mix it up. Currently looking at
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: the King penguins?
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Is that what that was? Gotcha? In this episode we
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: talk about Matt's kink. Well is new kink, but I've.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Always had a King Okay, I've had it from the
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: young age. I can't remember life without this kink. If
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I'm being honest, that's good for you and kinks that
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: I have pregnant women and feet.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: After Matt's kink, we talk.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: About you and an in that you've held on to.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: You haven't been able to overcome it since what were
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: you like ten?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: No, I was like five when this happened. Were five?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: So young? I got the blame.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I really didn't I couldn't stand up for myself as
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: the youngest in the family, but a little pussy.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: So we did get a confession and a little wuss.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: We also did get him. We did stand up for yourself.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: We did get a confession from my sister and her
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: side of the story along the way as well.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Now we talk about parenting lies quite a bit, and
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: one that blew up. I dare say it was the
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: most popular lie we have ever told in the entire
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: two and a half years of doing this podcast.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Was a lie from my mum. Oh yes, Nana Johnson's
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: surprise package. So you'll have to tune in and listen
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to that one.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Matt, and we also wanted to flag that in this
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: episode we talked to a child psychologist, Victoria, who specializes
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: in body autonomy. We wanted to mention that it is
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: confronting for some listeners, so just be mindful before you
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: get into this episode. Shall we let's do it. This
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: might sound weird, but I don't have a kink with
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: pregnant women.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you don't pick girl.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I find Laura at the moment she's popping a lot
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: more than the previous pregnancy.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Is that the wait normally works. She also doesn't answer
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: my calls and she's been avoiding you.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Bellies popped like I think with Marley, she didn't pop
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: right until the final trimester. Whereas now that belly's out
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: and Laura's like, oh, she just feels so fat. I
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: hate it, and I'm like, damn girl, I'm like, oh,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: ring that belly, I love it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Get the vitamin E cream out and rather it's just like,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: you know, it helps the trench marks right.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: In there, man, deep in there, you know, like all
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: over it.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Just the belly, just a belly, feet, the feet, na
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: that Laura has dry feet.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not a foot guy, if I'm honest. The hands
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: of the legs, Okay.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna I look forward to lubing Laura Luber ride
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: with a vitamin cream or some baby oil, slipping spider,
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: I find horse.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: Look, what do you mean gymnastics and there's that thing
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: they get you get all handsy and they they fling
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: their legs around.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: That's a I'm going to ride Laura like a pommeh. Yeah,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: you're ready. She's going to be the apparatus. I hope
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: she's ready. She would be ready.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: There is no other moment when I find Laura more
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: attractive than when she's pregnant.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: You've got to kink my guy. Let me get my
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: list of pregnant women up here. I've got a folder.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: I just I don't know, it's beautiful. Keep my hands
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: off that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I can't wait for my for you page to just
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: be pregant. Please.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I hate to always flash back, but I can.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: I just say, don't you dare apologize for hating a
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: flashback because I love them.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I love Let's go right back. How old?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Also about oscars age, I lived in Narrabeen in what
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: they call an asbestos house. It's funny because I live
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: in asbestos house now, so I've gone full circle.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: They say, close the circle. Here we are.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: And my dad's quite an avid surfer. And when we
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: were kids, we were all coming back from somewhere. I
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: think it was like it must have been a weekend,
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: because no one was working, no one was at school,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: we had one family car.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: We went very.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Well off, and I remember we did a surf check
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: on the way home from wherever we were were, and
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: I recall Dad being like, it's good, got to get
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: these kids home so that he can he can.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Go so we drove home.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: It had quite a long driveway out the side of
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: the house that on the left side was a fence
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: that was like it just like a timber fence, and
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: it's it was not the pretty side of.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: The tim offence.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: You know, there's an ugly side. It was the younger side.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Because we're poor. Someone else payer defense, Okay, And.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I recall us driving up the driveway and getting out.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Of the car and can I will say, it is
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: quite a flex to have a defense, to have defence
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: on the nice side.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your offense situation? It's definitely nice. You're a
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: nice guy. Look, it is the nice side on both.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Sides of the house.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wow, I must be very nice. So I
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: don't know what it feels to relate to your story,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: but I just I can't. No, I didn't get it
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: and didn't get it to me feel poor. Anyway, So
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: we've gone up.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I'm on the passenger side behind Mum in my chair.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Anyway, So we've all gotten out of the car.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: And I was so so so young, So there's like
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: the memory is not completely clear what happens, but anyway,
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: we've all gotten out of the car. Dad's put his
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: board in the car and gone to reverse back down
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: the driveway. And I don't know if you recall, on
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: the poor side of the fence is the whey the
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: posts are to keep the structural integrity of said fence.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: And the back door on the passenger side, which was
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: my side, had been slightly left open, and he had
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: reversed down the driveway, hence ripping the car door off.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, expensive exercise. So think about this. Think a
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: four door car with three doors and a big hole
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: where the fourth door is meant. And how is the
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: fence fence well built?
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: The poor side the rich person that I was like,
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: oh my rich side of the fast it.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Was perfectly fine from what I recall, but it did.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: It did rip the car door clean off. However, my
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: as you can imagine, my dad was ropeable because there's
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: two things that have happened here. He's missed the serve,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: which is probably the thing he was most upset about
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: in the end, and the car is missing a door,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: our only car that we have. That dad's source of
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: getting to work. And I think at the time he
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: had like three jobs because he worked in sales this time. Okay,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: so I apologize. So this was not this is pre
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: sales rep daze. No need to yell, Okay, I won't.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: I refuse not to. He had a couple of different
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: jobs in different areas. But anyway, he was really ropeable
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: about it, and he was rovable about it for years.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: It was the sort of thing where they bring it
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: back up all the time.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: He can, I just can I just confirm for one second? Yes,
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: was it your fault?
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Was it were you at the.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Beause I'm imagining right now that everything's happening really quickly.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Your dad's like, get out of the fucking car, gotta go,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: gotta go. Maybe it'll happen too quick. You didn't get
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: a chance. You're grade two, you're grade too, you're like seven.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was on my side, my door, hence
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: my fault. Okay, so I've no, no, no, no, let me
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: finish the story please and we can ask questions. So
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: it was I caught the blame.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Because that's my door. That's unfair. Sorry, it's not unfair.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's unfair to It's an assumption, that's
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: what that is, whether it's unfair or not, he assumed.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: He assumed they all assumed. Everyone's assumed. If you're the driver,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: you check the doors before you drive.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: For years, it was brought up, always, always brought up,
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: for so long, come on, thank you, let go now.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: All the way until teenage years, it was continually brought
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: up to be It went from being like how pissed
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: off they were about it and how much it cost
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: them in the end to it being like an embarrassing story,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: like its people ruin the family. Just did this somewhere
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: around my sixteenth birthday.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: You didn't ruin the family, as you chose to ignore that.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: It's again, oh I missed it, okay, around my sixteenth
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: birthday an admission of someone admitted to actually doing it,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: my sister. So back then, my sister has opened the door,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: old got out on that side with me, left the
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: door open. Wow, it ripped off. She pointed the finger
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: at me. Fifteen years or something, no, no, long, I say
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: twelve years something like that. Ten twelve years had gone
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: by her keeping her mouth shut, enjoying me being brought
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: up for years and years.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: So she just stood there watching you get beaten, pretty
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: much smacked up.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Early hahood where she has finally said.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: It was me what was the trigger point for her
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: admitting I can't remember.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I just the guilt was too much. I think that
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: the guilt got to her revenge. Yeah, and it might
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: have got to the point where.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: You would hold onto that to your deathbed. Really, yeah,
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: like you would expect, like if she was about to go,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: she'd be.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Like, by the way the guard door was met, Yeah, fully,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: what has happened?
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: I was unsure, like what why she wanted to clear
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: a conscience?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I mean, we're still talking. This is
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: fifteen years ago that she cleared a conscience. And I
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: was like, I remember for I remember for so long
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: it was like I because the car was fucking ruined
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: pretty much like it was an old car anyway, and
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: it was like I was always the kid in the
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: family who ruined the car.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Sister could never do any wrong.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: It shaped the rest of my childhood, I reckon because
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: it was like, I remember when you fucked the.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Car up, your piece of shit.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: Shit.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Not that my parents spoke to me like that. Mum
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: might have.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, but yeah, for so long, and my sister
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: would do the they're like you remember that, and then eventually,
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: like I said, how's your relationship now with your sister.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: That's great. We're great. We're great friends until I get
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: it back eventually. But yeah, I was.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: It's a scarring moment, but I was the precious item
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: that I had ruined my parents.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you had to experience that.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: It's like those stories of the person who was like
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: incorrectly charged with murder and they spent the whole life
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: in prison.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: That's exactly how I felt.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I felt like I was incarcerated an innocent man.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, I felt like if it was in the move
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: The Hurricane. No, okay, it's let me just give you
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the just that really quick. It's quite a long about
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: a car doll that gets broken. It's about a car
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: door that gets right.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: It's about a boxer who it's framed for a murder
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: a long time ago. And there was a really famous
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: song called the Hurricane.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: To me, right now, I'm getting nothing but one word
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: screaming into my vision.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: What do you mean, Hollywood movie?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Imagine I am making a blockbuster movie out of me
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: ruining the case.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: This is this has got I mean, I think screenwriters
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: will be salivating right now.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Years I lived in shame.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: I lived, I was suppressed years in my own family home, betrayed.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I was betrayed by your own legend blood.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I have never been able to trust every again, anyone, anyone.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Wow, the side of the car door like it inspiral,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: sends me spiraling. Yeah, every time you show a car
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: door flashbacks.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, I'm like, every time you see a anytime
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: someone weirs about me slamming their door, I'm like, well,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: you've got to be sure.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: You got to be careful, and you got.
• 13:07
  Speaker 6: To be.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Moving right along. Ash, we're going into parenting lies. Dare
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: you move me along?
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Tell me loud, tell me little loud.
• 13:22
  Speaker 6: What have you got for me? A big go my mom.
• 13:24
  Speaker 6: I don't know where she is, by the way, she
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: lost her in the house again. She was she can't
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: get that farsts she was here before.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I was had a recording because I was going to
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: get her to tell her lie, but then she fucking disappeared.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know where she is.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: L a jinx someone thing we should fucky. So she
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: told me this lie from when we were younger. Okay,
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: it was a very clever line.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I said.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Firstly, I was offended, I was upset, and then I said, actually, no,
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: that's I should commend you for this great lie.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: She took you how long to figure this out?
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Well? I only realized when she told me went like today.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: It was a few days ago because she heard we're
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: talking about parenting lies. And she was like, I got
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: a life for here, your little piece of shit. And
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: I said, what do you mean. When we were younger,
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: we had a PlayStation one Vintage respect.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: We loved it. What was it? Grand Tarismo? Ah? Why
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: do I have an direction for those of you who
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: don't know it's a car racing game? Well than just
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: that doma. Sorry, you're right, you're right.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: And what she used to do because we were quite
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: obsessed with the PlayStation when we first got it.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: No, this is genius. She told us that it was
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: a rental.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: She said that the PlayStation it is not It is
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: not our PlayStation.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: She's rented it from Video Easy.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Ah, that is good, that is top shelf oarenting from Elie.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: And so we used to get the PlayStation in school holidays.
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: Only sometimes sometimes Mom would be like on the weekend,
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: she'd be like, I want to do the shop.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: It's going to I'm going to rent out of PlayStations
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: in the back.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Of the car, so we would get it and then
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: on the Sunday or the end of the holidays, she'd
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: be like, I've got to return the PlayStation back to
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: the shop because on the rental and we were like, oh, over.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: One more week, and she'd be like, no, I can't,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: it's got to go back. It's booked out. I underestimated
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: your mother. That is good stuff, very.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Good, and so I only now realized that we in
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: fact owned outright that PlayStation.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Very owned PlayStation, and you thought it was so I
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: can picture you at school being like, oh.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I'm wait for school holidays, Mum's going to rent the
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: PlayStation and all your friends that own the PlayStation, like.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: You did a post in the Facebook group. It was
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: off the back of a twenty six year old childcare worker,
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: Joshua Dale Brown, who's been charged of sexual abuse of
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: children whilst in daycare. Absolutely horrific and so let's wanted
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: to know as parents, what information can we have to
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: be more mindful of the topic, more proactive. Now it
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: is confronting and it's really easy to avoid the topic altogether.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: But we thought it was a great suggestion from Celeste,
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: so we thought we will reach out to an expert, so.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: We reached out to Victoria.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: She runs this Safe Kids project, which is a handle
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: on Instagram. She's a registered psychologist based in New Zealand
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: who specializes working with children and provides sexual abuse and
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: sexual harm prevention therapy.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Victoria, I do have to say a very big thank you.
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: You are so welcome. I was so delighted to be
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: asked to come on.
• 16:42
  Speaker 7: I'm so passionate about prevention work, so any opportunity to
• 16:46
  Speaker 7: speak about this, and she in my mession, I'm here.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I feel like the conversations we're about to have, I
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: feel like they should be prioritized as much as like
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: a first aid course for parents. But for whatever reason,
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: I think is one of these things that it's such
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: a tricky subject that it's easy for parents to completely
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: avoid it. So I know that so many people are
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: going to benefit from this chat. Yeah, to start off,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: at what age do you start having conversations with your
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: children about consent and body autonomy?
• 17:20
  Speaker 7: Such a great question, and I do believe that a
• 17:22
  Speaker 7: lot of parents try and put their head in the sand.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: And not talk about it purely.
• 17:28
  Speaker 7: Like there's a lot of reasons, but I do believe
• 17:30
  Speaker 7: one of the main reasons is that growing up, we
• 17:32
  Speaker 7: never had these conversations. And it's not that it was
• 17:35
  Speaker 7: the fault of our parents, but a lot of the
• 17:37
  Speaker 7: time they didn't know how to share this education with us.
• 17:40
  Speaker 7: So it is a really new way of working. And
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: it's you're right, it's like just as important as first date.
• 17:46
  Speaker 7: I think it's just as important as we teach our
• 17:48
  Speaker 7: children to swim or cross the road. Teaching them about
• 17:51
  Speaker 7: their body is so so important and how to keep
• 17:53
  Speaker 7: it safe. So my daughter is for and my son
• 17:56
  Speaker 7: is coming up to and I've been teaching them about
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: body safety education since they were born, but more specifically
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: once they could sort of comprehend what I spoke about
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: and what I talked about. So for my daughter, from two,
• 18:08
  Speaker 7: she was able to label her body correctly, She was
• 18:11
  Speaker 7: able to let me know if she wanted physical content
• 18:14
  Speaker 7: like a high or not. She was able to say
• 18:17
  Speaker 7: no to me and know that it will be respected.
• 18:19
  Speaker 7: So I would say anywhere from like one and a
• 18:21
  Speaker 7: half to two is a really good age to actually
• 18:24
  Speaker 7: start introducing to your child that their body belongs to
• 18:27
  Speaker 7: them and they get to make choices that feel.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: In terms of language, and I sorry This is a
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: really dumb question, but you know, I know that people
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: are so particular about certain words are good to use
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: and some are bad to use.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Do you say what they.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Are in terms of vagina penis or do you have
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: to give other words to kids at that age?
• 18:49
  Speaker 7: Yes, so at that age I recommend using anatomically correct.
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: Labels, which are what our body is called.
• 18:55
  Speaker 7: So I often say to Pearance, if you call a
• 18:58
  Speaker 7: knee a knee and knows and knows, why do you
• 19:01
  Speaker 7: call evolver.
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: A fanny or a penis a willie?
• 19:04
  Speaker 7: Like it instantly tells your child that that's not a
• 19:07
  Speaker 7: part of your body you're allowed to talk about, or
• 19:10
  Speaker 7: that's not something we're comfortable.
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: Talking about because we instantly give it a nickname.
• 19:14
  Speaker 7: And so anatomically correct labels for body parts is like
• 19:17
  Speaker 7: number one when it comes to body safety education because
• 19:21
  Speaker 7: it creates a really open dialogue with your child for
• 19:23
  Speaker 7: them to know that those parts of their body are normal,
• 19:26
  Speaker 7: and if there were any concerns, they've got the language
• 19:29
  Speaker 7: to talk to you about it. And from a prevention standpoint,
• 19:33
  Speaker 7: there's been some research done with convicted sexual offenders towards children,
• 19:38
  Speaker 7: and they have said one of the biggest deterrence to
• 19:41
  Speaker 7: harming a child is if they have the correct anatomical
• 19:44
  Speaker 7: language for their body, because it instantly says to them
• 19:47
  Speaker 7: that child's having conversations at home, or that child has
• 19:51
  Speaker 7: parents that are willing to talk about their body.
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: That's not somebody I'm going to target.
• 19:55
  Speaker 7: So it's really really like powerful from a prevention standpoint.
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: On the other side of something does happen to your child,
• 20:02
  Speaker 7: it's really important that they have the correct language to
• 20:05
  Speaker 7: be able to tell you about it. I've worked with
• 20:08
  Speaker 7: multiple cases where children haven't had the correct terms, and
• 20:11
  Speaker 7: what that means is from a legal standpoint, it can
• 20:14
  Speaker 7: actually be really difficult to move things along the legal system.
• 20:18
  Speaker 7: So we want to give children the language about their
• 20:20
  Speaker 7: body to normalize it and reduce any shame or stigma.
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: And also that really helps with prevention.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: In terms of consent, it's a tricky one because this morning,
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: for example, I was trying to brush my daughter's hair
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Marley's six Lollos four And what they'll say when they
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: don't want to have their hair brush is my body,
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: my choice, no, And then obviously I want to acknowledge that,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: but at the same time I need to brush their hair.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: It's a bit of a non negotiable. So how do
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: you explain when and isn't appropriate to have those boundaries crossed?
• 20:56
  Speaker 7: Amazing So nice to hear those conversations coming from young
• 20:59
  Speaker 7: children that they know their body belongs to them. That's amazing.
• 21:03
  Speaker 7: So I have some rules around body autonomy and that
• 21:06
  Speaker 7: my child. My children get to make choices for their
• 21:08
  Speaker 7: body all of the time, except in three situations. The
• 21:11
  Speaker 7: first is how, second is hygiene, and the third is safety.
• 21:15
  Speaker 7: So in those situations it is my role as a
• 21:18
  Speaker 7: parent to put a limit in and say, actually, this
• 21:21
  Speaker 7: is what's happening. So that sounds like the case for
• 21:23
  Speaker 7: hair brushing, and I feel that one to my coore.
• 21:26
  Speaker 7: My daughter who's full is here is like these huge
• 21:28
  Speaker 7: ringlets and she goes to a forest kindy and so
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: she goes to kindy.
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: And she just comes to it like Lee sticks in
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: late bar.
• 21:35
  Speaker 7: So I really I feel this because we have a
• 21:38
  Speaker 7: role in our house that we have to have her
• 21:39
  Speaker 7: hair up for kindy. So the way that I recommend
• 21:42
  Speaker 7: talking to your child when you get to a body
• 21:46
  Speaker 7: autonomy limit is to be really clear, and the first
• 21:49
  Speaker 7: thing is telling them what you're doing so I'm brushing
• 21:51
  Speaker 7: your hair right now.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Why you're doing it?
• 21:53
  Speaker 7: You need to do it otherwise it's going to get
• 21:55
  Speaker 7: into a really big tangle and we might have to
• 21:56
  Speaker 7: cut your hair really short.
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: I'm not sure.
• 21:58
  Speaker 7: Give black examples. And then you ask for some clarification.
• 22:01
  Speaker 7: So you might be like, do you have any questions?
• 22:03
  Speaker 7: See if they want to ask, and then what I
• 22:05
  Speaker 7: recommend doing. So being really clear is the first part
• 22:08
  Speaker 7: on what you're doing, and then the second part is
• 22:10
  Speaker 7: provide opportunities for control. So in those situations where they
• 22:13
  Speaker 7: don't have a choice or they don't have control over
• 22:16
  Speaker 7: what's happening to their body, allow them opportunities like what
• 22:19
  Speaker 7: color hair brush do you want to use? Do you
• 22:21
  Speaker 7: want to brush your hair first? And then dad will
• 22:22
  Speaker 7: do it second, Like provide little moments in there. Is
• 22:25
  Speaker 7: there a favorite toy you want to hold? Or is
• 22:27
  Speaker 7: there something that you can be doing while they do
• 22:29
  Speaker 7: your hair, So moments where they feel in control of
• 22:32
  Speaker 7: a situation that actually they don't get a choice over.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: For me at home, we might playfully smack mum on
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: the bottom or you know the key. They think it's hilarious,
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: but is that something that's inappropriate, or.
• 22:45
  Speaker 7: I wouldn't say it's inappropriate. I think it's really important
• 22:47
  Speaker 7: for children to see healthy relationships between parents. But maybe
• 22:51
  Speaker 7: what you could do in there is every now and
• 22:53
  Speaker 7: again weaven some modeling of consent, like to your wife
• 22:57
  Speaker 7: or partner, Hey, like I really want to give your
• 23:00
  Speaker 7: smack on the bum? Is that okay with you? You know,
• 23:02
  Speaker 7: like make it like a little bit playful so the
• 23:04
  Speaker 7: children can see that aspect of consent. Well, maybe you
• 23:08
  Speaker 7: do it and then you say, hey, is this something
• 23:10
  Speaker 7: that you find fun or is this like enjoyable so
• 23:13
  Speaker 7: that the children are seeing that as well. But I
• 23:15
  Speaker 7: think if it's really lighthearted and it brings joy, there's
• 23:19
  Speaker 7: nothing wrong.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: One thing that I've noticed is like, you know that
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: game of like dude, he's going to smoke in the
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: bottom and I'll chase the kids around. And then I've
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: seen Marley interact with her cousins and then they'll play
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: that same game with other cousins. Obviously, Marley, from her perspective,
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: it's completely harmless. But then I'm thinking in my head like,
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, am I am I putting these games
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: in place which are going to be like inappropriate with
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: other kids?
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Should I be mindful of that? Do you think? Yeah?
• 23:47
  Speaker 7: I feel like there's a real fine line, right, Like
• 23:49
  Speaker 7: we don't want to lose the fun of childhood, but
• 23:52
  Speaker 7: we do want to just make sure that our children
• 23:55
  Speaker 7: are respecting body autonomy of others. So you could say,
• 23:58
  Speaker 7: before you play that game of like Jess, do you
• 24:02
  Speaker 7: say Pat or bar Moor chase you or whatever it
• 24:04
  Speaker 7: might be, you might say, do you want to play
• 24:06
  Speaker 7: this game?
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: And let me know if you want to stop at
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: any time.
• 24:08
  Speaker 7: Because you're just then modeling to them what consent looks
• 24:10
  Speaker 7: like that actually you can be playing something can be
• 24:12
  Speaker 7: really really fun, but you can also say stop when
• 24:15
  Speaker 7: it feels right for you. And that same question, like
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: you might be chasing them around the house and you
• 24:19
  Speaker 7: might say.
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: Maley, are you still having fun right now? Like it's
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: just a little.
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: Chicken that gets her to chicken with her body and
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: then knows that that's a safe place to communicate it,
• 24:28
  Speaker 7: and then when it goes into playing it with your cousins.
• 24:30
  Speaker 7: With her cousins, you might just say, oh, remember to
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: ask will you touch somebody's body? Like is this a
• 24:34
  Speaker 7: game they actually want to play? Like just chicken first,
• 24:37
  Speaker 7: It doesn't have to be like sit down, like really serious,
• 24:40
  Speaker 7: like when I'm teaching young children. My children consent, I
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: do it all through modeling. I never explain to them
• 24:46
  Speaker 7: necessarily like don't touch other people's bodies. It's actually just
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: through my interactions every day with them that they learn
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: what consent looks like.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: We have a few listeners reach out about some tools
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: of parents that you can share with parents who can
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: help their kids speak up confidently when boundaries are crossed.
• 25:04
  Speaker 7: So I believe that this comes from lots of modeling
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: at home. Like I just said, that children need to
• 25:10
  Speaker 7: see us as parents advocate for their boundaries, as well
• 25:13
  Speaker 7: as us putting in boundaries for ourselves.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: So how this.
• 25:16
  Speaker 7: Might look like If a family member was to come
• 25:18
  Speaker 7: around to my house, I would say to my daughter, Hey, darling,
• 25:21
  Speaker 7: remember your nanny's coming over this afternoon. Remember you get
• 25:25
  Speaker 7: to choose how you say hello. And then once my
• 25:27
  Speaker 7: mum arrives, I would say, oh, nanny's here, would you
• 25:30
  Speaker 7: like to give her a hug, a kiss, a wave.
• 25:32
  Speaker 7: And in that moment, I'm saying to my daughter, listen
• 25:35
  Speaker 7: to your body, you share what feels right. But I'm
• 25:37
  Speaker 7: also putting in a boundary with my mum to remind
• 25:40
  Speaker 7: her of what kind of interactions we have in our
• 25:42
  Speaker 7: family and how that looks. So that's modeling how to interact.
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: And the other one is sometimes I will tell my
• 25:50
  Speaker 7: children when they've crossed my personal space.
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: So last night I was over it, like it was just.
• 25:55
  Speaker 7: One of those days, and my husband was on a
• 25:58
  Speaker 7: night shift and I was like, I'm done, and they
• 26:00
  Speaker 7: were all over me for story time, and so I
• 26:02
  Speaker 7: was just like, hey, mom needs some space right now.
• 26:04
  Speaker 7: My daughter kicked off and told me how sad I'd
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: made her feel, and that's fine, that's all part of it.
• 26:10
  Speaker 7: But it's like, actually, as a parent, I need my
• 26:12
  Speaker 7: children to see me putting in boundaries for my body,
• 26:15
  Speaker 7: to give them the permission slip to put in a
• 26:17
  Speaker 7: boundary for their body. And so when we think about
• 26:20
  Speaker 7: teaching children to be confident to say no, we need
• 26:23
  Speaker 7: to really have these foundations of them seeing consent and practice,
• 26:27
  Speaker 7: because the more that they see it happening, the more
• 26:30
  Speaker 7: likely they can draw on that experience and say, actually,
• 26:33
  Speaker 7: I can say no right now and it should be
• 26:35
  Speaker 7: all right.
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: And another thing with that.
• 26:37
  Speaker 7: Is if we as parents or caregivers really respect a
• 26:41
  Speaker 7: child's no, they're more likely to say it. So say
• 26:43
  Speaker 7: you're playing like a tickling game with the kids and
• 26:45
  Speaker 7: they're like no, and you actually stop. In that moment,
• 26:49
  Speaker 7: you're teaching your child that they're no matters and that
• 26:52
  Speaker 7: you should listen. So the more we can practice and
• 26:54
  Speaker 7: give children opportunities to say no, to see us as
• 26:58
  Speaker 7: parents saying no, they're really good ways to build confidence.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: I always I guess, double guess how my parent when
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: I know that there's so many little harmless sayings that
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: people then spin it, and so actually that's quite detrimental.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: For example, no one likes to dip a dobba, you know.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: And I know that.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: There's been times where, you know Maley, for example, any
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: minute little inconvenience from another kid, whether one of her
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: family members or her sister, she'll run to me. And
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: I've said before like come on, Molly, no one makes
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: a dip a dobba. And then afterwards I'm like, oh
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: my gosh, that's sending the wrong message, right, So how
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: do you make sure that you're communicating in a way
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: that doesn't discourage them to stand up when something has happened.
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, really good question.
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: I know, we catch ourselves and parenting moments all the time,
• 27:48
  Speaker 7: so I think that's only natural. Yeah, when it comes
• 27:52
  Speaker 7: to communication, I think that again it's a really like
• 27:55
  Speaker 7: foundational thing that you keep building on when it comes
• 27:58
  Speaker 7: to sharing stuff that's important to a child. When we
• 28:03
  Speaker 7: as parents have capacity to try and listen, you know,
• 28:06
  Speaker 7: in those moments where she's come to you and she
• 28:08
  Speaker 7: had something like, oh gosh, that sounds really tough, how
• 28:10
  Speaker 7: could you do? Something like what could you do about that?
• 28:13
  Speaker 7: It almost is easier for us as parents to just
• 28:16
  Speaker 7: shut it down and say stop, stop telling, because that's
• 28:18
  Speaker 7: what feels right for us in that moment, particularly if
• 28:21
  Speaker 7: we're just regulated ourselves or we've had a really busy day.
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: But if we can.
• 28:25
  Speaker 7: Hold space even for the little things, that does really
• 28:28
  Speaker 7: help them eventually, is something big does happen, they know,
• 28:31
  Speaker 7: Oh that's somebody I can go and speak to and
• 28:33
  Speaker 7: it feels really safe.
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: But another role that we have in.
• 28:36
  Speaker 7: Our house is we have a no secrets policy, so
• 28:39
  Speaker 7: absolutely zero secrets are allowed in our house.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: This morning, I gave Lola a piece of pizza for
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: breakfast and I was like, don't.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Tell mom, And then I'm like, shite.
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: So that would be like a book, but we don't
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: do in our house.
• 28:52
  Speaker 7: And it happened before, and like, we definitely catch ourselves
• 28:55
  Speaker 7: purely because then we're saying to the child, that's okay
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: to keep some secret.
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: And when children are young, they're thinking is so black
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: and white.
• 29:04
  Speaker 7: And so if you say, oh, that secret's a good
• 29:07
  Speaker 7: secret or a safe secret and this one's not, like
• 29:09
  Speaker 7: they don't understand. That's way too gray. And so with
• 29:12
  Speaker 7: our family, we just have no secrets full stop. And
• 29:17
  Speaker 7: again it's not like something I sit down and talk
• 29:18
  Speaker 7: to a four year old about. Allow it to come
• 29:21
  Speaker 7: up really naturally. She brought her brother a truck and
• 29:25
  Speaker 7: it was super, super noisy for his birthday. She's like, oh,
• 29:27
  Speaker 7: we'll keep this a secret, and I was like, no, darling,
• 29:29
  Speaker 7: this is a surprise. And so then we talk about
• 29:32
  Speaker 7: surprises like they're really cool. That's something somebody will eventually
• 29:35
  Speaker 7: find out about. But yeah, steering away from secrets or
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: keeping this information is really important and it can be Yeah,
• 29:43
  Speaker 7: something as simple as don't say you have a piece
• 29:45
  Speaker 7: of for breakfast, or don't have an ice cream, don't
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: say that we got an ice cream when we're out,
• 29:51
  Speaker 7: And yes, like, from an open communication point of view,
• 29:55
  Speaker 7: really good, but also from a grooming perspective, secrets. Keeping
• 29:59
  Speaker 7: secrets is one of the steps and the grooming process,
• 30:03
  Speaker 7: and that's in order to establish trust with the child
• 30:05
  Speaker 7: and also with the family. And so often they might
• 30:09
  Speaker 7: start with something really small like, oh, don't tell them
• 30:11
  Speaker 7: we got an ice cream when we were out watching
• 30:13
  Speaker 7: whether or not the parent, whether or not the child
• 30:16
  Speaker 7: will tell the parent, and that kind of tells them, Okay,
• 30:19
  Speaker 7: we're beginning to build trust, and then they build on
• 30:21
  Speaker 7: that and build on that. So having no secrets yet
• 30:24
  Speaker 7: really important for communication and also another really important provension tool.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: There was some horrible news to come out of Melbourne
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: just this past week.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Just to do with daycare.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Is there any signs that parents should look out for
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: environments to assess their safety?
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 30:42
  Speaker 7: I feel like this one's a really hard, hard topic
• 30:45
  Speaker 7: and my heart really goes out to all of those
• 30:47
  Speaker 7: people that were affected in Melbourne. Because the children were
• 30:50
  Speaker 7: so young, it would have been really really hard to
• 30:54
  Speaker 7: sort of know that something was wrong because at that
• 30:57
  Speaker 7: age they're really unlikely to have the vocabulary comprehension to
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: be able to express that to parents. What I do say, though,
• 31:05
  Speaker 7: is that when your child goes into an early childhood setting,
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: you as a parent have every right to ask questions
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: and to become really curious. I find often parents wort
• 31:16
  Speaker 7: to stand back and don't want to be like overprotective
• 31:18
  Speaker 7: or overbearing or over the top. But actually, what if
• 31:22
  Speaker 7: we put our child's safety at the center, we can
• 31:24
  Speaker 7: feel a lot more comfortable to have conversations. And so
• 31:27
  Speaker 7: I suggest, and these are things that I do with
• 31:30
  Speaker 7: my children, Like what is your child protection policy? So
• 31:34
  Speaker 7: do you know if something happens? What are the steps
• 31:36
  Speaker 7: to follow? Do all your staff members know the steps
• 31:39
  Speaker 7: to follow? Another one, a big one for me is supervision,
• 31:42
  Speaker 7: So what are the ratios for the children to teach it?
• 31:45
  Speaker 7: And also in the center, are there spaces where a
• 31:49
  Speaker 7: child might not be seen, they might be hidden? So
• 31:52
  Speaker 7: like really mindful of who's watching my children, becoming.
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: Really mindful of.
• 31:59
  Speaker 7: The environment, so changing or toileting who is supporting the
• 32:03
  Speaker 7: children through that? Is that leaving one teacher, one adult
• 32:06
  Speaker 7: alone with a child, is it in an open space?
• 32:09
  Speaker 7: So I think it's really hard to look out for
• 32:12
  Speaker 7: certain signs at that young age that something's gone wrong.
• 32:16
  Speaker 7: But I would be more trying to look at it
• 32:18
  Speaker 7: from can we use what has happened to drive some change?
• 32:22
  Speaker 7: And I hope that happens with policy and legal levels
• 32:26
  Speaker 7: within the early childhood sector. But as parents, we are
• 32:29
  Speaker 7: allowed to ask the questions, and I would really encourage
• 32:32
  Speaker 7: your listeners to ask them.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: Is there any type of language that you can recommend
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: when speaking to your own kids if you think something
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: may have happened?
• 32:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah, So in that situation, I always say, become really
• 32:44
  Speaker 7: curious with your child and notice what happens within you,
• 32:47
  Speaker 7: Like if you've noticed maybe something different in their behavior,
• 32:52
  Speaker 7: maybe they're really isolated and withdrawn and worried all the
• 32:55
  Speaker 7: time and don't want to attend to their early childhood
• 32:58
  Speaker 7: center or for all of a sudden, then become really
• 33:01
  Speaker 7: curious with that. Don't go straight in with maybe what
• 33:05
  Speaker 7: you assume has happened. It's better to be curious. So
• 33:08
  Speaker 7: it might be I've noticed that at drop offs you're
• 33:11
  Speaker 7: really upset at the moment what's going on there? Or
• 33:14
  Speaker 7: they might tell you something's happened and you might say,
• 33:16
  Speaker 7: can you tell more about that? Or what happened next?
• 33:20
  Speaker 7: And you'll notice that am I languaging? I'm not saying oh,
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: did this person do that? Or did you then do this?
• 33:25
  Speaker 7: Or did you feel this? No, it's really open, like
• 33:27
  Speaker 7: what happened next, what was what was going on around
• 33:31
  Speaker 7: that time, So really keeping it as open as possible
• 33:34
  Speaker 7: and being really curious where you can.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: So I have a six year old boy and he's
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: at the age where he can't keep his hands off
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: his penis and looks it's outside of the pans, inside
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: at home, whatever it might be. But I'm really worried
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: about shaming him for her. Is there any steps I
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: can take or anything I should be doing to make
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: sure that I don't He's educated, he's educated.
• 33:58
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I'm so here for these questions. It's so
• 34:03
  Speaker 7: nice to be talking to two dads like this, But
• 34:06
  Speaker 7: I said earlier, often i'm speaking with mum, So I
• 34:09
  Speaker 7: love this, and how you don't want to cause shame
• 34:11
  Speaker 7: like amazing. So a child exploring their body, all parts
• 34:14
  Speaker 7: of their body, very very developmentally normal.
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: So what I would.
• 34:18
  Speaker 7: Say in this space is I encourage children to recognize
• 34:21
  Speaker 7: the difference between a private place and a public place.
• 34:25
  Speaker 7: So say he's touching his penis and it's in the
• 34:27
  Speaker 7: lounge room, you might say, hey, this is a public place.
• 34:29
  Speaker 7: You're more than welcome to touch your body, explore your body,
• 34:32
  Speaker 7: but that's something we do in a private place. Private
• 34:34
  Speaker 7: place is room or the bathroom. So give him the
• 34:37
  Speaker 7: context that that behavior is appropriate for and that doesn't
• 34:40
  Speaker 7: cause any shame. It just is almost like a redirection
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: of the behavior.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: And then is there any age is a hard one
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: to answer, but talking about public place and private place.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: We were at the park on the weekend and Marley
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: was like, I need to wet and there was no
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: toilets anywhere, and I was like, let's just do a
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: bushweed and she was like, people are going to see
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: me if she's communicating to me in that way. Do
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I have to acknowledge that or do you think it's
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: best to acknowledge that to not then break the boundaries
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: by being like, no, it's okay. I'll like, you know,
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: we're just going to be in public.
• 35:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, real tricky one funny my daughter loves the bushway.
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: She'd like, should ask for that?
• 35:21
  Speaker 7: Oh so yeah, yeah, I think yeah, tricky to answer,
• 35:29
  Speaker 7: because I think every child and family is different. You
• 35:31
  Speaker 7: might in that situation say, if I was able to
• 35:34
  Speaker 7: make a barrier to make sure nobody saw. Would you
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: feel more comfortable then, so you could maybe give an option.
• 35:39
  Speaker 7: Otherwise you need to hold on and then we'll have
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: to like find somewhere. But I think try and explore
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: that option in a way that makes them feel safe.
• 35:49
  Speaker 7: And if that's not a possibility, then yeah, probably go
• 35:52
  Speaker 7: into the bathroom and you might be able to acknowledge it, like, yeah,
• 35:55
  Speaker 7: actually people might see you and that might be uncomfortable.
• 35:58
  Speaker 7: Can can I make a way for the to be
• 36:00
  Speaker 7: more comfortable for you?
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: Victoria? You are a wealth of knowledge. It's been so
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: great and we could keep asking questions, but we know
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: your time is limited, but we want to say thank
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: you so much, thank you appreciate it.
• 36:12
  Speaker 7: Well, you're so welcome. Yeah, thank you so much for
• 36:15
  Speaker 7: having me. And again, like being able to speak to
• 36:17
  Speaker 7: Dad's is such a privilege and I hope that this
• 36:20
  Speaker 7: also shares out to your audience being dance as well.
• 36:24
  Speaker 7: It means a lot and I think as parents we
• 36:26
  Speaker 7: can we can make a lot of change in this
• 36:29
  Speaker 7: space for our children.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Lejien Ash the penguin feeding start at two o'clock, so
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: we need to get a move.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: On, all right, let's mef. We wanted to them.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't want to miss that. Do you think
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: people are following about our little around the world. Probably
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: not joke, They're like, what the fucking Matt Nash talking about?
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: We're holidays?
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're holidays and we're joking that we're traveling around
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: the world, but.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Really we're at home. Are you joking? Screaming kids? There
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: are no penguins. Sometimes all a gag. Sometimes Batman needs
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: to take his cape off, you know, Wels. That's thank you,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I will if you enjoyed this. If you've enjoyed this episode,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: please leave a review, send to a friend, subscribe. Otherwise,
• 37:11
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• 37:12
  Speaker 3: Man at Two Doting Dads on Instagram, TikTok. There is
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: also a Facebook group and we have full length episodes.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: Now on YouTube, but if you want to listen to
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: us here you can continue just doing that as well.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: That's also allowed back.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight on.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: The People's Today. This episode was recorded on gadigle Land