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Tyler White - How to Show up as a Dad · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad show.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Welcome to season six, and I could not be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: So let's sit back, relax and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Well, hey everybody, this is Casey Jaycox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: We're continuing on season six.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Over 300 episodes.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: That means that we have talked to a lot of dads.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Everybody, I want to say thank you so much for your continued support and continued just ways you engage with us on our social channels.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: It means the world to me and it means that we're impacting dads at home to become, and help them become, better leaders at our home.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: So, with that said, our next guest.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: His name is Tyler White.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I got introduced to him by the fantastic Anne-Marie Anne-Marie, thank you for the introduction.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: He is in the wide world of IT services, staffing, consulting a company called a CODIS Uh, he also is the host of the timeout with leaders podcast.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: But more importantly, tyler's a dad and we're going to learn how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback leader of his household without, before we open the smoke machine, let him in.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: He also is an Arkansas Razorback, so he might little do some pig growls and some some honking, and I'm sure what else he's going to do.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: But without that said, tyler, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Casey thanks for having me, man.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to get hog wild on this thing.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Brother, I know you guys can't see us right now, everybody but he is literally dressed like a pig right now you wouldn't believe it.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It's amazing.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I would, if I could man.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Anytime I go into a home, goods Casey, if I see a fluorescent pig or a pig lamp, it's probably coming out with me.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Man, let's go, let's go.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just one thing the market all you got to do is throw pigs and home goods and even Kroger.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: We'll buy them, dude, we'll buy them.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Love it All right.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I always start out each episode with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude, like, besides, like the health of my baby, it's, it's learning, it's bringing out that inner child in me again, which is super, super important, I think, for for me, me just to not take life so serious, like when I just see my two and a half year old make up some play out of nowhere and not zero expectations, casey, like she has zero, like I'm not being graded, I'm just being me and just the joy that I see has made me like that.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: And I was sort of like that before, but it was a good reminder for me to just bring out that inner child and just live life with no expectations, with no angles on people show up, see what kind of mess I can get into, just like her, and if it works out, it works out.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: If it doesn't, onto the, onto the next game.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you hit.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: You hit a couple of my hot buttons there, brother.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: The word expectation is something I'm very, very passionate about.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Um, well, maybe we can go into that in a second here and um, and, and how can I how you describe that?
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: You made me realize it's like's time, our most precious asset, and too often many of us are just going through emotions of life, not even thinking about stuff, meeting the meeting.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Maybe we're late to some, maybe we're really just some, but we just we let the day impact us instead of us impacting the day.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: And uh, then all of a sudden, 10 years go by.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: You're like god, why am I so stressed out, you know so.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Um, well, my gratitude is uh, I just got back from spending time on the East coast with my family and my wife, still back on the East coast.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: We're recording this in in early August, everybody that's up.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: So we'll come out, uh, in a month or so.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: But, uh, we flew home late Sunday night.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: So I got me and my my going to be sophomore in college son and my senior to be in high school daughter, and so we got to have some nice family time this week.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm grateful for that and grateful my wife gets to spend time, um, get some mommy time on the East coast and also just spend time with some of her girlfriends that she doesn't get to see.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know, see, see, for you know, just year Cause we spend time in a small island called Cuddy hunk Island, which is off the coast of Boston and a really cool spot.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: So, okay, you said expectations.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Um, I think, as dads, um, that's something that creates a lot of stress because we have expectations of how the day is supposed to go, guilty, as charged, and I was younger dad and you, you wanted to be perfect and you wanted to go exactly.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And then, all of a sudden, the operation shit show starts, you know, like, and then it just either impacts you and you freak out and you got like, you know that will fare we got to keep our composure, you know.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: But um, talk to me a little bit about that word for you uh, I mean, it used to create stress for me, casey, like I grew up in a household, like my dad, was like a Texas high school football coach and coached up in Arkansas, and so much expectations was on winning but not just winning dude.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: It was like we're not comfortable unless we're up by like 55.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: So I really was like that in every aspect of my life and I learned that even if when you win, it's not like it's a little underwhelming in business or even being a dad, like the journey, like you always hear the journey is where it's at, and I could not agree more, guys.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I know it's very cliche to say, but every time I win something now like I'm 40, it doesn't like it's, there's always something else to go to.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: So, like taking out the expectation for me and like I'll never forget Casey, like I always ask my dad's players like like why, why do you like my dad so much?
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Cause he was kind of scary at home, like he wouldn't do violent or anything, but he was like let's get whoopsie mad, like power, all right, 44 wham, you know, is how we live our life and I'll never forget every kid was like dude, your dad makes this stuff fun and I was like my dad does.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So that's really what I focus on, even before expectations.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: And I think if I focus on how do I wake up, figure out some sort of just wild fun mess I can get into, whether it's with my family, my clients, before business, right, and if I lead with fun, it really takes that expectation meter way down.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: And I think it helps others out too, because when you're with me or meet me, there's no agenda, dude, it's like what, what do you into and what are you like a master of and what do you love to do?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And can I try to do that with you and even if I stink at it.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I even like when I stink at stuff, you know there's no like like basketball.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: The basketball court is my sanctuary.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: That's where I played aau with everybody like almost in college, but but for some reason I still take that semi seriously.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: But, dude, you get me on like a jujitsu mat or on a golf course or like on a gun range shooting clay stuff.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: That I'm not good at it.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I I don't like mean to make a joke of it, but it's almost like a fun joke to me.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like let's just see how much I can mess this up with no expectations.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: It's same like being a dad like me thinking I could control my two and a half year old's schedule.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: This is the first time I've had to like cancel on people in my life.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Like the word commitment was like the real C word in my family.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: It was like you keep and that's hard to do, dude, keeping your commitments.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: And at first I felt so bad, dude, I was like cancel on people left or right Cause Ella was not having it, you know.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: But what was cool is like we're into like a group man.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: People get it, get the get that the last minute cancellations happens if they're a dad too.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: So I feel like I'm in a part of this, this cool tribe, and it's okay not to show up all the time, even though I was like just spoon fed showing up all the time as a kid until I was like 38 years old.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think it's.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: That's the power of being vulnerable and just being real and honest with people like listen, hey, I'm sorry I got my my daughter's sick, she's throwing up.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I got to go, and if that client wants to judge you and think not the right client for you, let them go.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: No, dude, no, let them go.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, before I get going too far, I want to go inside the white huddle, so bring me inside.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: You're playing quarterback.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I'm sure your wife's the general manager, but talk about each member of the squad and maybe tell us then where you and your wife met.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: So I think the wife is definitely the G in here and I'm the quarterback, you know, getting sacked all the time but just not showing it.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: You know she's a stay at home mom.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: She's amazing man Just with a baby all day, day, every day.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: At two and a half years old she gets to do that and I'm glad she gets to do that.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: It's pretty cool.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: It's a lot different than we were growing up, I think, kc um with people, just how they they treat their kids even um.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: But me and my wife and ella ella's the the co-captain here ella Ella Bliss White's her name, two and a half leading the charge.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: But my wife and I met in sixth grade in Arkansas at a Wednesday night church group.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: And I just went there to hoop dude.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: I was like the sweaty kid singing songs after basketball time.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I just sweat and I'll never forget me and her.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: In sixth grade you like hid under this like picnic table by the gym and just laugh.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: You don't even know why, because you love to see people like what bias and you just laugh, um, best for it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: In eighth grade she moved to Pensacola, florida, and then I got in trouble with long-distance phone calls from my dad.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: He came in.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: He was like what is this?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I was like I'm in love.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And so of course we kind of drifted away in eighth grade, being in Arkansas and in Florida, and 20 years later met back up, got married and had a baby dude.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And here we go.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: How did you guys reconnect?
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Just Facebook.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I said Jeannie, what are you doing?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: And she said what are you doing?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And I said I'm going out to meet a buddy in Arizona this weekend.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: And then she came along and I flew back to upstate New York at the time and then she flew back, she was down in Texas and she came up there and she was the same genie.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I always remembered, dude, and I guess I was the same Tyler, wow that's cool.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Well, I thought you were going to say you started dating in eighth grade, because that's when me and my wife started dating.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Eighth grade.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I'm almost 50.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: And so that's like do the math.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: That's like shoot, almost 38 years, 37 years been together.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: There's something about that.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I think, man, when I told my dad I was in love, dude, I freaking meant it.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Man, dad, you know how you love Power, right, 34 Blast.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I love my girl the same, oh boy.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about mom and dad.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Talk about what mom and dad did.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: You said a football coach, but let's go into a little bit more depth and talk about what was life like growing up for for Todd, now that you're a dad?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: What was life like growing up?
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: It was awesome, man.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I thought we had everything.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: You know my dad was a football coach back in the eighties and nins.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: You know probably dropped it, you know, pulling down like 37 a year back in the day.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And my mom was like a library aid at the school, but I was.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I had every opportunity I could imagine, whether it was football, basketball, baseball.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: My parents wanted me to be in orchestra, which I couldn't stand at the time.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I was in a class with people that played piano, like reading notes was Greek, you know, and then I got pretty good at it over time.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: But growing up was fun.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: It was just.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I remember just playing sports all the time, pretty competitive atmosphere, but nothing over the top.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Really Like the keeping your commitments, showing up even when you don't want to, was like seated in my brain Casey, and and and it's still to this day it, it yields it, it, it serves me well, man.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Like, like people always say dude, tyler, you make things fun and you show up, dude.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like yeah where I'm from, like, like, so that was what it was, man, um, you know, get your grades, behave, treat people with respect was the big thing.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Um, and and, just like you know.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And then he was my freaking vice principal dude in like ninth grade and he was like chewing ass all the time, like to my friends.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: So that was a little weird.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: So very, very uh, don like to my friends.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: So that was a little weird.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: So very, very uh, don't get in trouble.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Type of um, grow upbringing um, but not not in the the, the bad way.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Really, like in line, do the right thing, show up dude our mom and dad still with us, oh yeah yeah, they're up in arkansas, northwest arkansas, retired, and they're like my dad's like dad's metal detecting.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: He's always been quirky selling stuff on eBay.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: He got kicked off eBay seven times when I was in junior high because he was having his teachers bid on his John Deere salt and pepper shakers.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Dude, he's a character man.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what they're up to now.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Is he still involved with football at all?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: No, no, he's not.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: He gave that torch up quite a while ago, I think he said when he couldn't match the kids' energy anymore.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: It was kind of time.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he knew all the X's and O's, him and the Gus Malzahns.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: I can't remember the Browns old coach.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: They're just good old Arkansas boys.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Very innovative with football, the no huddle stuff and very early adopters.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I think Gus Malzahn was the adopter or the founder of that pretty much, and my dad was just.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: They were just buddies, just always innovating things.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: But yeah, he stepped away when he got a little older.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Man, Now you mentioned AAU, but did you play football as well?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I played up until my junior year.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, what position I was outside linebacker and tight end and fullback.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I always call myself the last era of the helmet-to-helmet era and my dad coached our Pee Wee team team.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I remember, and the coolest thing coach white could have told you, casey, was that you deserve a face mask like the bigot.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: The first big hit in practice it was like the whistle blew.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: You looked casey, you deserve a face mask because you used your head to hit somebody.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: So that was the era we grew up in man and I, and I would never take it back yeah, this is uncle rico moment coming.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: So I played quarterback in college back in 95.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Well, my playing playing I was like started at 96, 97, 98, but like that was back when quarterbacks used to get blasted and I mean I would release the ball and if I didn't like step into a throw, like legit step into the throw, I'd get like ridiculed in film the next day like why you, why are you, why are you being a puss?
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Or I'm like because I don't want to die but I had to learn to just to freaking take it.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: And then, uh, you know I, but there you release the ball, then 1001, 1002, then you still get hit and fricking like rowdy, rowdy, piper DDT, you know just, and my, you know, like I said, almost 50, like my back's still a mess, but it's totally different game now.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: And just like the weight room, even like the four back in the eighties and nineties, it was just like power cleaning.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: It was like just get the weight up.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: You don't care about your form.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Stretch on your own time is what I got, a lot too.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: You know, there's like no stretching, it was just like just throwing it up and uh, it's funny how it's evolved.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: You know there's actually some finesse that that's an advantage in football, rather than it's just a stupid oklahoma drill and bash each other and yeah, freaking rate, it's like, yeah, it's amazing that more people didn't freaking die in the football field for how insane it was.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: But again, it shaped us.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I don't, I don't.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: No, were you a hooper more?
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: than anything.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that was, that was my sanctuary man.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I I was making like 300 to 500 threes a day from like eighth grade to 12th grade.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Just loved it and it calmed my mind.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Calmed my mind and I didn't even know it.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: You know, you hear about all this stuff that nowadays if you shoot at something, that's all you think about.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Like all the outside noise goes away, and that must have been what drew it to me like and it's, it's more fun when you get better at it too, like when the ball's actually going in a lot.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: That that's.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: That's a lot easier to show up the next day or the next hour.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I just had my the keys to my dad's gym and put on some outcasts or jay-z or biggie back in the day and maybe a little three, six mafia in ninth grade and you know a little southern rap and just that was that.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: And I love the creativity of basketball too was the fun part, like how you can move the court with your eyes and just learning stuff from people that went to the league even and asking them how the hell are you doing that?
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: And getting tips like that.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: And then coming back home after AAU summer and people are like where the hell have you been?
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: You're like playing with the best of the best in the state man for a reason.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, that's definitely my soft spot.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Were you a point guard?
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now I look like a right tackle dude.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: I'm about 6, 2, 245, which and I'm a little bald, so it like throws the kids off nowadays.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I was a point guard my whole life and now I look like I can pull.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: You know, pull and hit the pancake.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: A few cornerbacks love my.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: my daughter just finished her last year ever of AAU.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: We that's where we were traveling.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: So we were in Vegas twice, portland, sacramento we went to and just went to Chicago.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: But she's a.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: She's a scrappy little point guard shooting guard, loves defense, but she can shoot the rock too.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: It's fun to watch, dude, awesome man.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah it it's.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: You can learn a lot out there.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I think just like motivating for other people it was the biggest thing for me because it either goes like super south or super good sometimes in certain situations with different cultures.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I learned from a young age it was like I better get these dudes rallying or some of them might give up dude like and I'm not even joking, so just just learning how to, and I think that translate a lot to being a dad and and being in business.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I like like kind of welcoming challenges is really fun, like cause I know some people that don't or don't want to do that they look for a way around it and it just kind of draws the process out of pain man, or just just annoying and man, I think my like my goal right now is just to sleep well at night.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: You, know, and if I give it every, and some people think that's a stupid goal, but have you ever not slept well at night for a season of your life, like it's.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: It's not too fun, casey, no so, but but the dude.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: But going back to the dad, like the balance is being that dude wherever in the office, on the court, on the jujitsu mat, whatever it is, and then being that dude at home.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Man is where the real landmines lay.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Well, as a matter of you know, I joke that.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: You know the whole theme of this podcast when I started six years ago was, like you know, quarterbacks on the lead on the field.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: So, as a dad, but I think about being a point guard the leader in the field.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: So, as a dad, but I think about being a point guard.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: What I've learned about watching other point guards, even my daughter, is like you can impact the game so much and it won't ever show up in the stat book big time.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Like, whether it's a, you get a tip, someone else gets the steal, you die for loose ball, you, you.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: You tie one up, you get an extra rebound, you box out little things.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Same thing goes.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: And, as a dad, maybe we come home after a stressful day.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: How many dads are looking to maybe unload the dishwasher if it needs to be done?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: But you come in after a stressful adult.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Do you ever say, hey, honey, how was your day?
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Tell me, is there anything else I need to help her through?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, like, go out of your way to serve her or serve the family before you're so god, give me a beer, bitch, I need to take a.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: You know, you know, like that's.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: It's not the 1920s dads.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: It's like time to step up and and be a teammate and and do the little things.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: Maybe we aren't always seeing, but when we can check our ego, we can embrace the curiosity of building a better relationship, embrace the humility of like hey, we're not perfect, and be vulnerable to say hey, maybe when you do need help, ask for help.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: So those are the other things that are like really passionate for me, tyler, that as I've grown now we get almost a half century year old, which feels weird to say.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: But yeah, insane, man, like coming home and serving first, dude, is where it's at, and and I just, I, just I kind of grew up.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: You know I've been in a few groups in my life where it's all about serving and the more you know what I found out is like, the more I started serving, the more I was understanding myself, which is totally backwards if you would have told me that 15 years ago.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: And I met some pretty key people in my life that just lived that way.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: But, man, yeah, I always say a short prayer, like in the driveway, you know, as soon as I get home.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Just, you know, sure, I maybe, you know, ran the scoreboard up out here today, but it's time to run the scoreboard up, you know, in the household where it matters.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: You know in the household where it matters because, dude, if you, if I don't do that casey, if I go a little sideways, like it impacts, like my, my gain in business and everything else, I just my gut does not feel right if everything's not aligned.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: You know at the house and everybody feels perfect you know there's been a few times I've ran out of the house without giving the correct love and man, how much that impacted my day.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: But that also gives me empathy for other people, because sometimes, when I'm aligned and I'm on life, sometimes I'm like why aren't the people around me have the same energy?
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Well, hell, casey, they probably may have messed up at home before they left the dang house, just like I've done before.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: You know why didn't?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: that gas station attendant tell me to have a good day.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: When I told her to have a good day, something may happen to her.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Like it's just, it all connects man and and it is, it's almost nice when you're.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: My day goes sideways every now and then, just for that reminder that other people's day might not be so dang cheery.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: You know, cherry on top is mine right now.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Well, I think that goes back to being curious.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: We either can re, you know, listen to respond, or react, or listen to get curious and maybe give some benefit out, like, hey, this person just told me to go F myself, but I didn't deserve that.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: But maybe something else is going on, like, maybe you say, hey, man is everything okay, but I didn't deserve that.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: But maybe something else is going on, like maybe you say, hey, man is everything okay, or yeah.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Once you like.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Really get that in your chest, man.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Life is okay, dude, and it's almost to the.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I know when it's like life is rocking and rolling being a dad, being in business, being on whatever sport I'm in when I Thoroughly I wish that this life would never end.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: I have that feeling in my chest, walking down the hall, going I wish this will never end.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: And not every day is like that.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I kid you not, man.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I think I have the recipe sometimes for it.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: And then some days I'm like let me just get through this damn day.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I have a little journal.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: What happened on July 28th, when I was thinking I don't want this life to ever, ever end because there's so much fruit to bear, man, there's so much fun to get into.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, when people tell me they're bored, I'm like man, you got to try to just get into some things Because when I'm in that zone dude, dude.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I don't want it to end you mentioned um some key people in your life that had an impact on you.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Maybe, if can you, would you be comfortable sharing a story of why that impact you as a person, maybe, and as a dad oh, absolutely, man.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Um, a few of them were like in recovery that I worked with from like alcoholism and I'll never forget was one dude named bud.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: One day at work when I was in Arkansas, all I asked him was like what are you doing tomorrow, man?
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: He was like going to help someone move.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, all right, I'm like from Bentonville to Fayetteville.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: And he's like no man, I'm helping to move to Chicago.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I was like it's like a 10 hour drive, right.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: And I was like okay, you're going to drive 20 hour round trip.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: And he's like yeah, man, and I was like, and at that point in my life I was like 22 or something.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I was like what are you getting for it?
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: He's like nothing, man.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: But he was like so about it, dude.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget he walked in the day and a half later to the office and didn't even tell anybody and I was like watch it, I didn't say anything to anyone.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Walks into the office hey, bud, how you doing?
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: I'm doing good guys.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: And just didn't even.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: So he like seeing that service that he did and like he like stopped like blooming fillers, I can't remember where in Illinois, on the way back to take a nap in his car or something and just kept driving and made it to work the following two days later and didn't even tell anyone.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Man, and that really struck me.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I was like dude, there's a guy who just helps someone move which no one likes to move 20 hours away, walking the office and not even telling anyone.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: So I asked him and he said something about Tyler, when you tell people about you're serving, you're serving up others.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: He said something like on the lines like this it's not spiritual anymore, the grace is gone, dude.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: And I was like I'll never forget that, I'll never forget it.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: The spirit's gone.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: And when you start bragging and telling folks what you did, my quarterback coach in college told me, casey, if you ever have to tell me how good you are, you're not that good when you're great, I'll tell you.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Boom.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, that impacted me as a dad, impacted me as a.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: You know, I spent 20 years in the staffing industry, consulting industry and, uh, fortunate to be around, some great teammates, great.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: But like that's, that's what drove me is when I would win an award.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: You know, I didn't want to go tell you, but I wanted them to tell me.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: It made me think of my quarterback coach.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: It made me think about now.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: It was about thanking my lineman, like the back office people, the recruiting team, the AP, the janitor, the front desk, for anybody.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: I could think about getting their name when I had a chance to speak, because it was about them and I wasn't doing it for like, oh, I was doing it because that's, that's my chance to thank them, cause they're not getting thanked, they're doing fricking, they're working just as hard.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: I'm just playing quarterback inside of the company, same thing as dad.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: So I'd love that.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I'd love that you shared that story no-transcript.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: He helped our sales and account teams really those people on the front lines of building and developing client relationships in so many ways.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Here are a few.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: He helped us unlock the power of curiosity.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: For me it was a game changer.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: I was personally learning all about TED-based that's, tell, explain, describe, questioning and that really resonated with me.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: We also learned about unlocking the power of humility and unlocking the power of vulnerability.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Casey taught us to be a team player, to embrace change, to stay positive.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: He is one of the most positive people I know.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: He believes that optimism, resilience and a sense of humor can go a long way in helping people achieve their goals and overcome obstacles.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: And I agree Casey's book Win the Relationship, not the Deal.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: It is a must read.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Listen.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: Whether you're looking for coaching and training or a powerful speaker or keynote, casey is one of the people I recommend when talking to companies.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: The end result for us at least as one of Casey's clients our own clients would literally commend our approach over all other companies, from the way we were prepared in advance of a call to how we drove meetings to how we follow up.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: It sounds really basic, I know, but let me tell you it is a standout approach that led to stronger relationships.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: I encourage you to learn more by going to CaseyJCoxcom.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: You have nothing to lose by having a conversation and a lot to gain.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to Casey's podcast, the quarterback dad cast.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: How about?
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: How about a story of um?
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: We'll actually help with this.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Tell me the values that were most important to you and your family growing up, that you believe you'll then teach Ella Um.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: Tell me what comes to mind and then maybe, if you can, share a story of how you learned those mind and then maybe if you can share a story of how you learned those dude it's.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's pretty simple to me.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: I like, like they'll the term that the saying like do what you say you're gonna do goes.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: So I mean, and we've heard it a million times and whatever.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Leave the shit books we've read and just maybe uneven commercials, but like that.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: That, because I ask people feedback on me, a lot like why did you?
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Why am I in like the lexus lounge right now at toyota headquarters like why did you pick me, dude?
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: And it's like dude, you showed up, you did what you said you were gonna do.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: You know, um, so that I I grew up with that being like number one, like the commitment thing was number one and building I always heard build character and I didn't even know what that meant.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: I don't even I know what it means now.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I think it's still a little gray right, or to me, um, but but it's in the actions and not the words.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: You know, it's almost like, and the say less, not more, and what strikes me is like watching like an old Western movie and like the badass cowboy like doesn't say anything for like 45 minutes.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Casey, like, just so, I think.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: Talking, talking less, listening, not oversharing, to like in certain situations and breathe, and what I learned is that brings more curiosity to you from other people, and so just blabbing your mouth all the time, but, yeah, doing what you say you're going to do.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, I remember going to the plays in third grade.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I was Harry Haddo in some Dr Seuss play and I did not want to do it.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: And I did it though, and then the feeling afterwards was fun.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I was like I was like in third grade.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I get it.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I don't get it yet because I'm in third grade, but I'm glad I did something I didn't want to do because I committed to it.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: My parents paid for it, which I didn't even have a clue what that meant at the time.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: But showing up, man.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's, it's.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: It's easy to do what we always want to do.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: But you know, I like to exercise still and I always tell my kids or anybody I talk to I'm like find me a day you worked out and like, god dang, I wish I didn't do that.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's, it's not, it never happens no.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: The effect it has for the rest of your day is amazing.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Like if I hit the gym in the morning, there's probably a great chance I'm not eating like a double bacon cheeseburger at lunch or something and fries and like a Coca-Cola there's probably a 0% chance.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: So it just like yields, like more opportunity to be healthier and it's just fun to like have that energy to even do the dishes or just energy alone.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: It stinks when you overeat and it's like, oh, I gotta go play with my two-year-old.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Like mentality or that nasty feeling that I get sometimes.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of it's mindset.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: You don't have to go play, you get to go play.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: You don't have to go make phone calls, I get to make phone calls.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I don't have to go to a networking event, I get to go to a networking event.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: So it's all your perspective, that's funny you mentioned that dude, I, I had a buddy in that I've known since like 10th, 10th grade, and I was working at like a steakhouse in um in fayetteville, arkansas, in college and he, he said I don't remember telling him this, but he said one day when I was like I couldn't go out or something, his name's chase or he's like hey, why, what are you doing?
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: You have to, you have to go to work.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I said, or I get to go to work, this is so.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I'm on the same page and that mindset is awesome.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Because do you remember when you had like a blank calendar, dude, when you first started out and like I remember having one and I remember like 10 years ago, I prayed to God.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I was like God, I just want a busy, like I just want like meetings on my calendar.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: Dude, because, like my company was like making me like cold call, it just wasn't it, dude, because my company was making me cold call, it just wasn't it, dude, it was not filling up my calendar like it is now, but being able to work, to meet new people it's fun, man.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: You don't have to do it, you get to do it.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Man, I'm on board, casey.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: What so, of those values that you talked about, that are you know, say, the commitment, feedback and others is there.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Can you think about a time growing up that's like man?
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: That's.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: This is when I learned it.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Well, you mentioned the play, but is there a different?
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Like a story that brings you to like that aha moment, or that maybe a laughter, or even like more of a difficult moment?
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: I think putting in the work, the consistent work in basketball showed me a lot.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: It taught me a lot and I'll never forget I was like in practice in Little Rock Central, down in Little Rock, and I got to the point where I was like shooting like 70, 80% from three and like the aha moment to me was like it almost brought a tear to my eye.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I was like cause all the work I put in with no one in the gym, like and sometimes you start doubting yourself cause you get the yips.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you know like when you do something too much, even mlb players can't throw a baseball from here to that wall sometimes mentally and I just never forget when just the success of that, just like owning a craft but but, but tracing the, the damn dotted lines back on what it took, and I translated that to this day, Like even to this day I have that mentality of every day a walk on.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I have to do some account management, but it's like I'm not getting in.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I just tell myself I'm not getting myself into some crazy fun mess right now with a human being I haven't met yet.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: So I think just the just understanding, the aha moment to me was what it takes, because if the shortcuts, even if you do get a handout, it doesn't feel good.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: No, Tyler, tell me, where do you think that drive came from?
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: Probably my parents.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: But how?
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: How did they teach you to you know?
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: I know, like I threw hundreds of footballs a day by myself backyard I built a tire swing legit, built tires.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: My first paycheck at a hardware store.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: I paid for it.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Um, my son's, he's got drive.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: He's at the golf.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: He's just left to go to golf course to grind.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: My daughter's a hooper.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: She shoots her ass off.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: But like I don't know where that sometimes comes from, is it innate?
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: Is it taught?
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Is it ignited like?
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Tell me, where do you think you you got yours, man to have the drive.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: I think I had to have some sort of light, to see some sort of light of success in some way, like while I was driving, you know, with that drive.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: But I think it's like winning with other people.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Man, celebrating with your teammates is so fun, especially like in junior high football, right, it's like you're in ninth grade.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: You're like just that sheer excitement of all the two-a-days you went through but the drive like other people impact that for me.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I think I'm not just like a lone driver of my life anymore.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: You know I do my best to connect with the higher power, to not take it so seriously, and I saw some quote the other day.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: It was like try less or something.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: But like I don't know the drive, I think I was born with it.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Like I remember like I was in, like I had pneumonia in third grade at a basketball game and I was on the sideline and I was like the loudest one in the stadium.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Still like they're that's like not taught like rooting your team on with like water in your lungs.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: It was like a third grader Cause we wanted to beat these dudes.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: So bad Like that's it had to be I think it was.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: It's got to be genetics, almost man, like my dad was the same way.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I think it is.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: But I also think it's like, um, you got to go through discomfort or pain, you got to go through some failure.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: You got to go through some failure, you got to go through some doubt.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: I think either someone doubts you or you have a struggle, or something's taken away from you, um, and I think.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Or or someone asks you the right question or someone believes in you that maybe out may, and usually it's outside the home, I think, cause mom and dad, obviously you're the best, you're going to go.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Everyone, every kid's going, they're going, johnny's going pro, um, but uh, I'm always curious people's perspective on that.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: But when you can and that's, I think, our job as a dad is, you know, I've done a lot of episodes on you know, don't live vicariously through your kids.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Just because you're a Hooper doesn't mean your daughter's gonna be Hooper, like what I think I'm.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: Probably one of the things I'm most proud about my fatherhood journey is my kids are better.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: The sports they chose.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: They were better than I was.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: My son's a better golfer.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: He plays college golf.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: My daughter's really good three-point shooter Really good, I mean she's I sucked at that.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: I just we played a game of like a pig tournament.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: I got embarrassed and I and again I think it's fun Like hey, you know, I mean like decent shooter, but like it was atrocious, like I got bounced quickly.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: My daughter won the damn thing.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: So uh it's.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: It's so easy to like things that we love, but you know deep down, if Ellis chooses who, you're going to be a hell of a coach.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: If you said a coach because you got that background, but it's like how do we do it in a way that it's their idea, not yours or not ours?
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: You know that's the hard part.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: And I'm totally good with that, believe it or not.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Man, like I'm ready for whatever she gets into and I hope I'm just as bad as her when she starts.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: You know, just to show some vulnerability, dude, but like, but, but I'm really curious on that drive thing, man, you got me thinking like where does it come from?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Just ask your parents.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: All right, I'll ask my parents Go homework, brother, yeah, I'll ask them.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: Let me know I will.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: I will.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: That's one of my goals too.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: We interview, I talk to people like these.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: It's like you know, you don't need a podcast to have conversations like these.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: We've been talking for almost 40 minutes and it's amazing when we slow down.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Maybe meet a buddy for coffee once a week?
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: No, no agenda, just give yourself 30 minutes.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, bud, how's your day going?
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: How can I be a better friend?
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Hey, what's what's?
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: What's what's going on in being?
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: You know struggles for you and dad.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: Well, here's what I'm going through.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: Like imagine if everybody did that, whether it's a, you know, people sometimes have Bible studies, they have prayer groups, they got, or just maybe that's not your thing, just like I don't.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: I don't go to church time, but I'm like a super spiritual dude.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: I look at scripture every morning.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I have no idea.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Like today you made me think about it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Said, today's scripture was and let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Boom, what a powerful you know.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Like just reminds me just keep doing good, dude, and whatever you get today, be so grateful for it.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Like I played nine holes with my son last night and I was ahead of him.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: Him and his buddy were behind me and I was ahead of him, him and his buddy were behind me and I was just walking.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, man, I am so freaking grateful to be out here.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: I'm healthy, I'm walking, I had a beautiful night.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I don't even care what I shoot, I really don't.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be here and it's fun to be at that place.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: I had tears come to my eye last week just driving, being like holy smokes.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Dude, this is the and the, the, the struggles, the failures you know, trying to find your way in life, and to me, man that's, you know, of course, helping people but like not worrying about your bills, dude and stuff like that is such a dang reliever.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: I don't care what anyone says, I agree and like I'm like driving on the road with like freaking tears, I get on the bus.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: I was like what's wrong with you?
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: It's hard to explain this to some people, right?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Honey, I just watched the episode of the golden girls and it really got to me.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, but like I like tears man, like just thinking, even six, seven years ago, trying to figure it out.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Man Like, just like, like and knowing you got it.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: But like you're in the wrong industry or the wrong, you're selling the wrong thing, dude, and like looking back on it, that's what it was man I was like, but like that's the double-edged sword of like not giving up and stuff.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Like because to me, like when I was into those ruts, I was like I gotta figure out a way to sell these stupid security sims.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Nowadays me, and like some cso's laugh at that job that I had.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: I was like I was never gonna do that and they're like, yeah, once every three years.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe you know and I just understand where you come from but man, the other day I was literally driving down the road with that feeling of just like.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: I hope this never ends.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: One question I love asking dads is if you were to watch we're going to watch some film of Tyler's dad game and if you were to think about what's an area of your dad game where you know, man, I probably could get better.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: That might relate to other dads at home.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: That, you know, is a gap, but you're working hard to get better because we all have them.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: But if you feel comfortable, what would tell me what would be an area of your dad game that you know might is not your best, but you're looking to get better.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, it's probably like really understanding how tired my wife is sometimes, like truly understanding and knowing that and like 90% of the time I do like but some of the 10% of the time I don't and do.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: If I'm like one-on-one with Ella for like two or three hours, I'm like, oh my gosh, dude, this, this and like Whoa Like.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: When people say I have a ton of energy, I'm like gosh, this is like different, right.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: So understand, like really really, though, casey, like really understanding how much effort and energy that takes out of somebody and always remembering that, no matter what, always being the kind one, even if you know I probably act a little crazy sometimes too.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: If I was up at 345 last night and and then I come home and I'm like whatever, x, y and z.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like I'm an idiot, yeah, and and shutting up and listening, and even if, if, if my wife says something back like that, she doesn't mean to understand where she is.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Because guess what, casey, every time I just do a little prayer inside, I get quiet, I just nod my head.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: Guess what happens?
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Like an hour or so later she's like I am sorry that I said that that way, I did not mean that, you know, and that's it, man, that's if I can answer that other 10% all the time down.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm working on.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: One of the best pieces of advice I got in my life that's not only impacted me in business for 30 years, but it's also impacted me as a dad is when a leader asks me Casey, what's more important, do you want to be right or do you want to get what you want?
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: You can't have both.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's such an easy answer.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: If your ego is checked, you're going to want to get what you want and sometimes like that's the way you just described it perfectly it's like you could be frustrated with your day but you got to realize your wife had two hours sleep last night and you had eight.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Give her some grace.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Or the other thing.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: When you said that, you made me realize.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: One thing I talk about a lot with my clients is understanding the difference between recognition and appreciation.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Recognition takes money sometimes, appreciation just takes time.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: So, whether that's three seconds, the first thing you walk in the door, dad's like hey, honey, thank you so much for doing what you do.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine I don't have the skill set to do that.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: I know if I had to I'd figure it out, but I'm so grateful that you do what you do so I can be my best version of me generate money for our family.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: Thank you, and sometimes you say that once a week or what I mean shit.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: She'd be so happy.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: I bet Amen Just takes a, just takes a little bit of time and appreciation.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: So, um, all right, before we wrap up here, I want to learn about how, in the wide world, you got at this company called Acotis.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: How'd you get into IT services, staffing, consulting, whatever you're doing there?
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: And then after that, I want to hear about your podcast.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: All right, man.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Well, I was upstate New York trying to sell security tools for a living man and I kid you not, right above me in the same building was like staffing and solutions and I would literally look up at my desk.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: I would look up and I would scratch my head.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I'd be like dang, that sounds like way more up my alley, like way up my alley, as opposed to like talking about endpoint protection, only all this stuff, man, I just wasn't it.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: And a guy at a modus at the time, uh, he kept like sprinkling little little seeds on me, man, he.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: And one time he was like how long does it take to close a deal, dude?
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh man, six, nine, blah.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: He's like how's like a week sound sometimes?
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: And I was like that's not a thing, dude.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: So he got me over there and I just it's just fun, man, like I've had, I'm like kind of like my own boss.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: You know, it's one of those places I finally never want to move up at Like.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be a leader here, I wanted to be a leader of my family and myself at work, and I get that here.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: They're like, dude, pump as much Tyler White in Dallas, texas.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: As you can dude, this is my only guidance.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: And then about five and a half years ago, on the podcast deal, me and my co-hosts were in upstate new york thinking like how the heck do we get c leaders?
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: Like how?
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: do we know?
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: them, or there's like we're just like two dudes, just like call people and they don't ever answer their phone.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: And what do we?
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: What would we even say to them if they did answer their phone?
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: You know, just that's not it.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: So we started the podcast.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: We sent out 15 emails.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: We got just saying hey, do you want to be on our podcast?
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Local podcast in Rochester, new York.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: We didn't even have a name for it, we had nothing, nothing.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: And we had nine people say yeah and we were like, okay, we got to come up with a podcast now and it was like on zoom dude, and we would like meet each other and like we would sit next to each other like a couple dorks with like a whiteboard behind us, with like a script, and that script got tossed like episode four, you know.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: And then it got to like episode like 35 and I was like, dude, leadership's kind of boring to talk about for an hour, like Like we got to really dive in the person.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: So just the other day we had like the VP of IT at Pepsi and it was like minute 53.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: And she was like, isn't this supposed to be about leadership?
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: And we were like, not, anymore, you can tie it in, because there's only so much you can hear about leadership to make something interesting in our experience doing it.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: But now, yeah, we just get referrals and we're booked until 2026 and we take december off and it's fun, man, and we all also get like big groups together is the fun part.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: I'm throwing an event in august and it's like 50 to 60 it leaders in dfw, with no panel, no business cards, just come bring yourself, type thing, and that's where it's led to, man, and that's honestly why some tears came to my eye.
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: The other day too, I was like I'm hosting an event with like 60 IT leaders around here.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: Back in my day I couldn't get 60 all year on my map, man, I was just so grateful for the opportunities that are coming my way and they're all based around fun.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: The podcast is fun.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Works fun and where can people find um the podcast and where can people learn more about a CODIS?
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: A podcast on Spotify, apple music, um, linkedin, we post shorts on there and then a code so you can just go to our website.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: You know straight up, it consulting and staffing.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: There's a ton of us.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: So I really don't like to promote.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I like to promote Tyler White a lot more than that.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: It's kind of how I roll, man Love it Okay, Before we get into what I call the lighting round, if you were to summarize everything we've talked about today into maybe three actionable nuggets of Tyler White wisdom from our conversation that dads can take to say man, I'm glad I listened to the last 50 minutes or so of these two dudes.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: I took these three things that I can apply in my own life to be a better quarterback or leader of their home.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: Tyler, tell me what comes to mind.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: I think I'll go back to showing up.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: It's easy.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: It's harder than it sounds.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: Keeping your commitments harder than it sounds.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: Live your life.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: Serving with no expectations is the funnest part of life to me.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: I just love like.
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: It just frees me up to no end.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: Even if you fail, man like I, I listen to people that have failed their way to success a lot more than whatever the other is, like I and the, the, the failures is where the laughter is, is what I like to say.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: Like when me and my buddy, like we conquer something in business or whatever, even with my family, like the win isn't as fun as the mess ups on the way, it's like the mess ups is what we talk about.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: It's like, hey, casey, remember when you jacked that up, that was awful, like true belly laughs.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, showing up, no expectations, guys.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: And I think rule 47 is you know, know, don't take yourself so serious because no one else does.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Like there's something else in charge of this whole blue ball we're floating on and realize that and and grace man, you said the word grace, that's the word I was looking for earlier casey, but that's the great words.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, my favorite words.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: All right, love it, dude all right, my favorite words All right, love it, dude.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: Now it's time to go to the lightning round, which I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college Not bong hits, but football hits.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: My job is to hopefully get a giggle out of you.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, are you ready?
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Fire them up, man?
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false?
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: You once kicked a 57 yard field goal at arkansas to win a football game.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: False, we almost got to giggle everybody.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: It was really close.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: You fought it hard, though.
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: Um favorite music genre that none of your colleagues know is oh man I would.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: I'm getting into some like edm stuff right now, some, and then I like a good.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: I like a good tearjerker.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: Classical music too, like Friday Night Lights soundtrack man, just like the slower stuff.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: There we go, a little slow dance, snowball style.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: Favorite movie of all time is I used to go.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: My go-to was Braveheart, that's a classic William Wallace.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, you bled with Wallace.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: Now bleed with me, like I used to listen to that one of his speeches, like on my on a burn CD from Napster, like on my way to school.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that's gotta be it still nice if you were to go on vacation right now, just you and your wife.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: Sorry, ellie, you're staying home.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Tell me where we're going.
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: Oh man, we are going at this season in my life, dude, we're going to some, just some, beach.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to use some generic answer, but it's.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: It's just a beach, somewhere where I can just look at the ocean.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: It's just a beach, somewhere where I can just look at the ocean something more powerful than me and breathe and turn the phone and laptop off for a week, that's it Sand, feel the earth, feel powerless.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Would you rather make a three-point skyhook or a three-point granny shot?
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: I'm going with the skyhook dude, yeah, bank or no bank, what's that?
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Bank or no bank what's that?
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: Bank or no bank, I mean I would have.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: I'd like to frustrate some people and bank it.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: You know, no one likes a bank shot on the court.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: They almost don't even count it and specifically the sky hook from three points really going to catch them off guard.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: You know, yeah, posting a guy up, oh, dude, the hook man Posting a guy up.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Oh dude man, it's a lost art.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life tell me the title.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Honestly, it would probably be my dad's favorite play Power.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: I write 44.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: Wham would be the title of my book.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: Actually, I'm a football guy.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: I can visualize this play.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: You know I didn't know that playbook, but I can still see it.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, power book, but I can still see it.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, power, I write 44 Wham on two on two.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: Now that play is going to be that movie.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: Pardon me that book.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: Sorry, if I can speak it in English, that book is going to be turned into a movie.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: Tyler Now, because every airport this book sold out.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: Amazon can't print enough copies, barnes and Noble can't.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: This thing's coming like going out hot like hotcakes.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: So you are now the casting director.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: You are in charge of casting.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Tyler White, it can't be.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: You Tell me who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: Bill Murray, dude, gunga, gunga, la Gunga.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, that's a simple one dude, bill Murray.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite Bill Murray movies ever is Kingpin.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't know if you remember the part when this is again Uncle Rico moment, true story.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: Do you remember when he was pretending to be the dad that come home from, he'd sleep over with the wife and it was like Some days Mr McCracken's already in my house and I wake up.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: I like to play catch with little Johnny Jonathan.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: Run a fly pattern.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: Tennessee, kentucky.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: I did that play in a college football practice.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: I went to my, I went to my buddies and I had all my hey guys, cause our normal cadence was like set 180, 180.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: You know, ready, hutt, I said we're going to go on Kentucky.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: When I go high pitch, do not try not to laugh.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: My coaches are like what in the hell is wrong with you?
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like coach, I'm having fun Good talk.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Oh God Okay.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: I divert, but I just made that.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: Now, most important question as we wrap up, tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: Oh man, just intelligent, amazing.
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: Boom yeah, intelligent, amazing Lightning rounds complete.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: We both giggled.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: I giggled at my own jokes, which that's what dads usually do.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: Tyler, this has been an awesome, awesome conversation and, marie, thank you for introducing us.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: I love learning more about you.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: I love learning more about your.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: Energy is infectious, so it's not surprising why you've had success in what you do, and I'll make sure that your podcast is linked, and we want to make sure we get more subscribers.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: If you're an executive out there, you want to share your wisdom with Tyler, we'll make sure you guys can get connected too.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: Um, we'll make sure that.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Um, uh, we'll make sure that we send this out to as many people as we can.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: But, thank you, I appreciate you.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: I hope our paths cross again soon and, um, thanks for working hard to become the ultimate no-transcript.