Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 100. Confidence Mindset | Boost it like this!

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100. Confidence Mindset | Boost it like this! · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

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  Confidence is an essential component of success and happiness, but it can be elusive.
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  If we allow expectations, harsh self judgment, and preoccupation with fear to hold us back, we are human.
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  Expectations can lead to disappointment and self doubt when we don't live up to them.
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  And I have seen this happen so many times.
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  And harsh self-judgment can undermine our confidence, create negative emotions and make it hard to take risks or try new things.
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  When we are preoccupied with fear, we can become paralyzed and unable to move forward.
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  I don't want that for you.
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  And today, I want to show you different ways to overcome these seeming obstacles.
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  You're listening to Kathie's Coaching Podcast I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
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  I have been a certified fitness trainer and certified life coach.
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  Since 2002 on this channel, we talk about healthy habits, fitness.
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  Having a growth mindset and even some Reality Transurfing and today we are talking about confidence.
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  Today is actually episode 100.
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  And what a perfect episode to talk about confidence.
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  Let's get into the episode.
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  Self-confidence is an essential aspect of our personal growth and success.
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  It is the belief in oneself one's abilities and one's worth.
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  However self-confidence does not come naturally to a lot of people.
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  And for many, it is a journey that requires effort, practice, and a growth mindset.
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  We're going to discuss confidence and how expectations, harsh self judgment and preoccupation with fear can hold us back.
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  This is now my hundredth episode on the podcast.
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  As the podcast hosts on Kathie's Coaching Podcaset I've learned many things on this journey to get to 100 and I wanted to share them with you today.
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  This has taken what seems like a lot of hard work and turned into so many positive outcomes.
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  And when I say it seems like a lot of hard work.
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  I mean that this is a journey of personal development and it has led to new challenges and the outcome is complete self confidence.
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  I have met imposter syndrome and some low self confidence in this process.
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  But take a few deep breaths and let's discuss this great topic of self-confidence and having a growth mindset.
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  So on today's episode, I have a mind map associated with it.
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  What is a mind map?
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  A mindmap is where you can track what you're learning from this episode, and also take notes and elaborate it on it.
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  Even further, you can download your mind map at.
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  kathieowen.com/mindmap So let's talk about expectations, you know, to build confidence.
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  It's important to recognize and challenge our expectations practice.
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  Self-compassion be kind to yourself and focus on the present moment.
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  I once heard a Chinese proverb that said happy is the man who expects that thing for he is never disappointed.
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  And actually I have gone to that extreme at one time, but we need expectations.
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  In this journey, we call life.
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  Zero expectations lead to a fixed mindset and definitely some low self esteem.
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  We can develop greater resilience and self confidence in our abilities by acknowledging and confronting our fears, taking small steps and seeking support by letting go of expectations, harsh self judgment, and preoccupation.
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  With fear, we can unlock our full potential and live a more fulfilling and confident life.
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  You know?
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  A more confident person.
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  One of the significant factors that hinder people's confidence is expectations.
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  Both internal and even external expectations.
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  These expectations can come from society, from our peers, from family, or even from yourself.
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  And they create unnecessary pressure and burden.
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  That can make one doubt their abilities worth and potential.
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  Hence letting go of expectations can be a powerful way to build self-confidence.
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  I'm going to give you a few tips and ways to let go of expectations and boost your self-confidence.
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  Number one, identify your expectations.
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  The first step is to recognize the expectations you have of yourself and those that others have on you.
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  It is important to differentiate between realistic and unrealistic expectations.
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  Unrealistic expectations can be toxic and cause feelings of inadequacy while realistic expectations can motivate and guide you.
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  And that can be a very good thing.
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  Number two challenge your expectations.
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  Once you identify your expectations, you need to evaluate them and challenge their validity.
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  Ask yourself important questions.
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  Like, is this expectation realistic, or am I setting this expectation to please others?
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  Or even is this expectation aligned with my values and my goals?
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  Challenging your expectations can help you let go of ones that are not beneficial or even necessary.
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  Here's one thing I want to point out having a mind map that goes with this episode, which I invite you to download.
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  At kathieowen.com/mindmap.
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  You can go into the mind map and identify your expectations.
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  Number one, and then number two, challenge your expectations.
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  And then let's get to number three.
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  Focus on your strengths instead of focusing on your weaknesses, which destroys confidence and your limitations, focus on your strengths and abilities.
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  The first thing you want to do is acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments.
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  No matter how small they may be, this will help you build a positive self image and can improve your confidence and create high self esteem.
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  Number four, embrace your imperfections.
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  No body is perfect and striving for perfection can be a stressful and overwhelming expectation.
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  Embrace your imperfections and recognize that they are part of what makes you unique and special.
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  Accepting yourself for who you are flaws and all can help you feel more confident in your abilities.
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  So I have in my book, I talk about this, I have really bad attention to detail and actually my ex-husband would call me detail because my attention to detail.
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  Was not so good.
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  My brain is moving faster than my thoughts or whatever.
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  And it would mess me up and cause me to miss certain things.
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  And I used to think that that made me weird or different or whatever.
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  It's actually an imperfection.
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  And it makes me special because.
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  As I say today.
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  Yeah.
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  My attention to detail may not be that great, but I think it adds to my awesome personality.
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  That's embracing your imperfections.
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  Number five, take calculated risks, stepping out of your comfort zone and taking calculated risks can help you build self confidence.
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  The more you challenge yourself, the more you learn and grow.
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  Even if you don't succeed.
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  Taking risks can help you build resilience and confidence in your ability to handle failure.
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  It's important not to focus on the negative outcomes and instead have a confident mindset and learn from defeat.
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  As I spoke about in an episode on one of the virtues where we talk about learning from defeat, and I'll have a link in the show notes and description to the article where the video and the pocket podcast episode, are listed.
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  So letting go of expectations can be a powerful way to build self-confidence by identifying challenging and focusing on your strengths, embracing your imperfections and taking calculated risks.
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  You can improve your self esteem and self-worth remember self-confidence is not a destination, but a journey that requires consistent effort and practice.
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  The next thing we're going to talk about is self judgment.
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  If you're struggling with self-confidence letting go of harsh self judgment can be an important step towards building a more positive relationship with yourself.
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  I understand self judgment so much.
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  And I see it happen so many times and self judgment can be a destroyer of dreams.
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  And I talk about that all the time.
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  And.
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  Don't shame yourself because you do it.
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  That's the first thing, but let's go over some tips to help you let go of your inner critic and build that self-confidence.
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  Number one recognized yourself judgment.
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  It can be difficult to recognize negative self-talk when it has become a habit.
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  Start by paying attention to your inner monologue and noting when you're being harsh or critical to yourself.
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  Awareness is the first step toward change and identify that scarcity mindset and move into number two.
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  So number two, challenge those negative thoughts.
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  Once you've recognized yourself judgment, try to challenge it.
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  Don't shame yourself.
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  Just try to challenge it.
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  Ask yourself.
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  If the thought is really true and whether there's evidence to support it.
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  Often negative self-talk is based on assumptions or beliefs that actually are not rooted in reality.
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  Remember, the subconscious mind takes everything to heart.
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  It's important to challenge those thoughts and create life experience that challenges, these negative thoughts.
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  Number three, focus on your strengths rather than dwelling on your weaknesses.
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  Try to focus on your strengths, acknowledge the things you're good at and celebrate your accomplishments.
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  This can help you build a more positive self image.
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  I become your own best friend and celebrate those small wins.
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  Which in turn creates a new sense of self.
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  Number four practice self-compassion self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with kindness, understanding and support just as you would a good friend, when you're struggling with self judgment, try to be compassionate towards yourself rather than critical.
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  Develop the personality trait of kindness towards yourself.
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  You'll find this to be the right mindset every single time.
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  So it's funny.
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  My, my oldest son has this habit of saying things and he, he caught himself the other day.
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  It was so cute because he just has a habit of saying things that.
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  Um, are a great personality trait for him, but he catches himself.
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  Now that I brought it to his attention.
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  I'm like, you know what?
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  That's awesome about you, but let's try to download that a minute, because think about this, you're going to tell somebody what to do and you are correct in your thinking.
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  Absolutely.
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  But you got to think about the other person's feelings and yourself included.
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  So yesterday he said something in text to me.
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  I can't remember what it was, what it was about, probably about the baseball game or something like that.
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  And he goes.
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  He said a quick comment and then his next text was sorry.
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  I just had to go there for just a minute.
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  And, you know, honestly, that was practicing self compassion and I loved it.
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  Number five, take small steps.
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  Building self-confidence is a journey and it takes time.
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  Start by taking small steps outside of your comfort zone and celebrate each success along the way.
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  This can help you build momentum and confidence in your abilities.
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  You will watch your confidence level rise.
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  Even in these small goals.
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  I love that.
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  Number six seek support.
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  Sometimes it can be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend or a professional, talking to someone about your struggles with self-confidence can provide perspective and help you develop a more positive self-talk.
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  Letting go of harsh self judgment can be a crucial step towards building self-confidence.
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  By recognizing your negative.
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  Self-talk challenging your thoughts, focusing on your strengths, practicing self-compassion and taking salt, small steps, and even seeking support.
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  You can develop a more positive relationship with yourself.
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  Remember building self-confidence is a journey.
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  And it takes consistent effort and practice, but with time and patience, you can learn to silence your inner critic and develop a more positive and self affirming inner voice.
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  And now we're going to talk about our old friend fear.
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  Fear is natural and actually necessary emotion that helps protect us from danger.
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  However, when fear becomes a preoccupation, it can be crippling and prevent us from achieving our goals and realizing our full potential.
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  Fear can lead to a lack of confidence, which can make it difficult to take risks and embrace new experiences.
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  Letting go of the preoccupation with fear can be a crucial step towards building self-confidence.
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  Here are some tips to help you let go of fear and develop greater self-confidence.
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  Number one, you probably guessed it because it's similar.
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  Recognize your fears.
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  The first step of letting go of fear is to identify specific fears that are holding you back.
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  This may involve acknowledging your vulnerabilities and confronting uncomfortable truths about yourself.
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  Like I said, with my attention to detail.
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  I acknowledged my vulnerability.
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  And when I did that, it helped me see, well, you know what?
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  I may be bad at attention to detail, but I'm really good at building this or that.
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  And I found.
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  I overcame my fear of my attention to detail that way.
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  So that leads me to step number two, challenge your fears.
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  Once you've identified your fears, try and challenge them, ask yourself whether they are based on reality or simple assumptions.
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  Often our fears are based on irrational beliefs that don't hold up to scrutiny.
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  Number three, take small steps.
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  You know, the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
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  When you're dealing with fear, it's important to take small steps and start by setting achievable goals that allow you to confront your fears.
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  Gradually this will help you build confidence and even momentum over time.
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  Focus on the present moment.
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  Fear often arises from worries about the future.
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  Try to focus on the present moment, right where you are right now and take things one step at a time.
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  This will help you stay grounded and it will even help reduce anxiety.
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  Practice self-care.
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  Fear can be draining both physically and emotionally.
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  It's important to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating well and engaging activities that bring you joy.
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  This will help you feel more resilient and better able to cope with fear.
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  And definitely number six, seek support.
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  When you're struggling with fear, it can be helpful to seek support from family, friends, or a mental health professional.
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  Talking about your fears with a safe person can help you gain perspective and develop a more positive outlook.
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  Letting go of preoccupation with fear can be a powerful way to build confidence.
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  By recognizing and challenging your fears, taking small steps, focusing on the present.
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  Practicing self-care and seeking support.
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  You can develop greater resilience and confidence in your abilities.
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  Remember, building confidence is a process that takes time and effort.
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  I didn't get to episode 100 by starting yesterday, it takes time and it takes effort.
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  But with patience and persistence, you can overcome your fears and achieve your goals.
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  So in conclusion, confidence is a crucial ingredient for success and happiness in life.
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  It allows us to take risks, pursue our dreams and overcome challenges.
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  However, there are several factors that can hold us back from developing and maintaining a mindset of confidence.
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  Expectations.
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  Harsh self judgment and preoccupation with fear are some of the most common culprits.
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  We have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and we set ourself up for disappointment and self-doubt.
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  Similarly, when we are overly critical of ourselves, we can undermine our confidence and make it difficult to take risks or try new things.
• 18:27
  Finally, when we are preoccupied with fear, we can become paralyzed and unable to move forward.
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  The good news is that it is possible to overcome these obstacles and build greater confidence and make positive changes in our lives.
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  Uh, By recognizing and challenging our expectations, practicing self-compassion and focusing on the present moment, we can develop greater resilience and confidence in our abilities.
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  Also by acknowledging and confronting our fears, taking small steps and seeking support.
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  We can gradually overcome our anxiety and build greater confidence.
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  Remember building confidence is a process that takes time and effort.
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  It's important to be patient and kind to ourselves along the way and celebrate our successes.
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  No matter how small.
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  By letting go of expectations, harsh self judgment, and preoccupation.
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  With fear, we can unlock our full potential and live a more fulfilling and confident life.
• 19:28
  All right.
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  That's my episode for today.
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  Thank you for spending part of your day with me.
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  I trust that you found this helpful.
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  If you know someone who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
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  And until next time I will see you next time.
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  Peace out and Namaste