Latest / Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers / How to Trust Your Intuition Again and Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

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How to Trust Your Intuition Again and Stop Second-Guessing Yourself · Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Have you been trained out of trusting your own intuition?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: And do you seem to need a million life lessons thrown at you to finally get the fucking point?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because apparently I needed a golf course detour, a runaway golf cart, and a delayed flight before I finally realized that I kept trusting everyone else's shortcut over my own direction.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the weekly recharge newsletter, the part of the Hustle Rebels where I take something oddly specific from my own life, pull out the bigger life lesson, and figure out what the hell the rest of us can learn from it.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoy going through my questionable decisions, like, subscribe, and share this with someone else who could use the reminder.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: It helps keep these episodes coming, and it also makes my detours slightly more productive.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: So last week I told you about the strange amount of attention I wanted from the host of the event that I was attending.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: It certainly wasn't romantic, and I also wasn't looking for his validation or approval either.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's what made the whole thing so fucking weird.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I managed to pull my attention back instead of spending the entire event monitoring whether I had his attention, which is what I had talked about last week, but that only addressed what I was doing.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't explain why I was doing it.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in true Renee fashion, I couldn't leave that question alone.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I kept picking apart what was happening in my brain, what my nervous system might have been responding to, and what my own behavior was trying to show me.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then a pattern started to emerge.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Apparently, one example wasn't enough, so I needed three, and I'll break it down for you.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of it, maybe you'll be able to relate too.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we'll start with shortcut number one, the golf course.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: My roommate for the weekend and I were walking from the villas to the resort when she said she knew a shorter route through the golf course.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Less walking, more importantly, less sweating.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I was in.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've ever been to Puerto Rico in August, you know that the humidity isn't just high, it's heavy.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like the entire ocean was pouring out of my pores.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: We eventually came to a fork in the road and we ended up taking a right.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: After a little bit, I said, I think we should go back to that road.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because this doesn't look right.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: But my roomie felt like we should keep going.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: She was convinced that we'd eventually reach another road that would drop us off closer to the resort.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I hesitated, but I went along with it.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: So we walked.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And we walked.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we kept fucking walking until it became so obvious that this shortcut was taking us absolutely nowhere useful.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually we ended up turning back around, we went back to the road I had originally pointed out, and discovered that it was in fact the direct route.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: She kept apologizing, but I wasn't mad at all.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: We just were significantly sweatier and had taken the scenic route through what felt like the entire golf course.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: No big deal.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Until the next shortcut arrived.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So shortcut number two.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: The golf cart of doom.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Another day I planned to catch a ride with Mandy and Peter, the Scots, in a golf cart.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Again, less walking, less sweating, faster arrival.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Except Mandy missed the turn to pick up Peter.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: We tried to turn around, but the golf cart stalled, and suddenly we're rolling backwards down a hill with brakes that didn't work for shit.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And for some reason I stuck my leg out.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure exactly what I thought I was accomplishing.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I planned to stop the entire golf cart with one limb.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I was attempting to amputate the inconvenience away.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not quite sure, but thankfully we ended up stopping eventually.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But now we were farther along from where we needed to be.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Stranded with a broken golf cart and surrounded by hills at this point, so I got out and walked more than a mile and a half anyway.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: My faster, sweat-free route had once again made the journey longer.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: At this point, you'd think that I would have gotten the message, but no.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: My brain apparently needed the deluxe package.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, shortcut number three, my flight home.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: So on my flight home, the third shortcut showed up.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Something involving the long-distance radio system needed for the shortest flight path wasn't working.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Never heard of that in my life, and I literally have been traveling a ton lately.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And apparently without it, we had to take a different route, one that would add more than 30 minutes to the flight and require more fuel.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: The only problem is that they didn't know what that route was yet.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we sat on the plane while they figured out where we were going and then added enough fuel to get us there.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Three different situations, three supposedly faster routes, and three detours that took me farther away or required more fuel.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Subtle, right?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: But then it finally clicked.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't wanted the host's attention because I needed him to validate me.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted access.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere underneath the surface, I thought that if I could get close enough to him, he might see the value in me, in my business, and if he saw it, maybe his connections could become my connections.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe one relationship with the right person could open the doors that would otherwise take years to reach on my own.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: A good old-fashioned rubbing shoulders with the big guy's shortcut.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: That was the connection between the host, the golf course, the golf cart, and the flight.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: In every situation, something outside of me appeared to offer a faster route to where I wanted to go.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But every time that shortcut became a longer detour.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I've been learning over the last few years.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: We have been trained to not trust ourselves.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with accepting help, building relationships, or knowing people that can open doors.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: But none of those things can replace your own intuition, talents, and value.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: We've been trained to trust the person who seems more certain, the person with the map, the person with the golf cart, the person with connections.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, we question that quiet voice inside saying, I don't think this is my road.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I see this constantly during someone's first brain spotting session.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: They'll ask things like, Am I doing this right?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm doing this wrong?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can you give me the answers?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're so used to looking outside of themselves for the correct answer that trusting what comes up inside of them feels uncomfortable.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: But there's no perfect answer that they're supposed to produce.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Part of the work is learning that their own brain and body can lead the way.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that was the lesson I kept being shown all weekend.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: The shortest path isn't always through the person who seems to know more, or have more, or even hold the connections that you want.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's trusting what you already know, using what you already have, and continuing to walk your own damn road.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this week's practice is going to be looking inward.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Think about an area of your life where you've been looking outside yourself for the right direction.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Then I want you to ask yourself, what did I already know before I started second-guessing myself?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Am I accepting support or am I handing someone else the wheel?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do I actually want this path?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or does it just look faster?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: What would I choose if I trusted myself to figure it out?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do everything alone, but support should help you move in your direction, not convince you to abandon it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes the shortcut isn't shorter.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: It just belongs to someone else, and that's okay too.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then in case you missed this week on Hustle Rebels, I want you to ask yourself, are you actually burned out from doing too much?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you exhausted from trying to keep everyone around you happy?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because last week I broke down the invisible emotional workload of people pleasing, managing everyone else's disappointment, overexplaining your boundaries, refusing to ask for help and pretending that you never need support.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about the difference between caring about someone's feelings and carrying them.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And one question that can help you recognize when you're doing the latter, do I actually have a problem right now?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I trying to make sure that this person doesn't have a problem with me?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And coming up next, Roberta Ravella, founder of the Joy Experiment, is going to join me for the toolbox.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to be talking about worth, success, self-trust, ease, and the invisible rules that we have inherited about how hard life and success are supposed to be.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Which, considering this week's lesson about shortcuts, borrowed directions, and learning to trust yourself again, couldn't really be more timed perfectly.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you can watch that on YouTube or listen to it on your favorite podcast platforms.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: The links are also going to be down there in the show notes in description.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you're new here or feeling nostalgic, you can always click the link down in the show notes in description to be able to listen or read previous episodes.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: The right people can support you, guide you, and even open a few doors.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: But they can't replace your own direction.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Trust what you know, take the help that aligns, and stop abandoning your own road just because someone else's looks faster.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you guys next week.