Latest / Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration / Retail Horror
Transcript
- Welcome to the good blood is home of the scary merchant. Can we help you with your order? Tandy, are there unions in Golgotha? There sure are now. I'm snot a goblin. You're snot, you're not a goblin. I'm snot a goblin. A thousand yards, a thousand sails, dear. That travel through time sucked. I was hanging out with dinosaurs for a week. I don't think we're getting that pizza party. Are we ready for another exciting episode of Ratgrind? Is anybody else going to stream? No, I was kind of liking the awkwardness of the way streaming on you. On a scale of one to ten, how tired is everyone today? I'm a little sleepy. I was up to five. Yeah, I've had a massive headache all day, and it's only recently gone away. You've been up to five. Speaker's been up since six. I got a good amount of sleep last night. And I also noticed that my body crashed. Your body crashed? The bot crashed. Oh, awesome. Technical difficulties. Technical foul. That's connecting and disconnecting. Zorin, you've got to fix your bot on the stream, Zorin. I tried to, but it decided to explode on me. That's what happened. Just the Golgothan accent now, by the way. Thank you. They're all fucking Whitey from Eight Crazy Nights. Yeah, I'm not going to let it go unremarked how good your Whitey is, Hulky. That was an excellent Whitey. I'm not even going to try to do a Whitey. I can't do it better than you. Did you know that they cast me in Eight Crazy Nights, the musical? That's insane. Did they even dump, like, a full port-a-potties worth of shit on you? They did. My legs are actually prostheses. They had to cut off my legs so I could accurately portray Whitey's awful little, like, stump shuffle on stage. It was a really off-putting thing. Like, they didn't do the Farquaad thing with Shrek the musical, where I just walked on my knees. No, no, no. They went the full nine yards, like the full Cotton Hill treatment. You know, I really respect actors that do that. Like, if you're going to be Marius and Les Mis, we are going to drag you with open bullet wounds through the Parisian sewers. And that's immersive. That's real. And people want that on stage. It's true. Many people are saying this. Speaking of wanting things on stage. Many people. Amazing players bring you the show of rock, right along with everyone supporting it. Petra.com, first-class narrative declaration. Of course, the one I want any things on stage, it's Odo. Hi, hello, it's me, Odo. Today, I will be bringing you Vina, the sylph swashbuckler. Then, of course, we have Hoagie. Hello, I'm Hoagie Crow, and as always, I'll be playing the Kanrasu Warpriest. Rahua. There we go, Speaker. My name is Speaker D, and today I will be bringing you Tanhauser, Wizard of the Revolution. And we have no Bodrick today. Aaron Dill is currently out flying about and stuff, potentially going after F-16s and stuff like that. But, of course, we have someone who's going to try to intercept them. It's Thurston. How am I going to intercept? I'm short and round. What am I going to do? You'll be the cannonball that is fire. That's where the budget of the show went. We bought a check going to your backyard. We bought a really big fling shot. We'll be back, everybody. We got that, like, I don't want to say cannibal. Carnival. Like, that really big, cartoony cannon. It's all painted, like, red and, like, blue and red and white. And you're just like, yeah, we'll put you in this. We're going to aim it at Aaron Dill's plane as he's taking off. We're going to fire you out. Yeah, he'll love that. You're going to have to have a stage name that we're going to call you Chaotic Evil Knievel. Oh, my God. With a metaphor, I'm sorry. He'll be Thurston, Hillman. It's almost made it into print a few times, I swear. Almost. One day it's going to happen. One day it's going to happen. Our editors, they tell me every time. They tell me every time they fix it. And I'm like, one day. One day you will. And I would even be mad that my name is wrong in a book. Made a wrong in a book. My name is Zara the Wizard. And I'll be playing Orin, the Strix Druid, today. And Thurston, would you like to do the recap? Or would you like one of us to try? I mean, I think someone wants a hero point, don't they? Don't they? Looks at everybody else. This is a pretty easy recap. I know. Like, yeah, I'll take it. I know what we can do. I know what we can do. I know what we can do. I know what we can do. I know what we can do. I know what we can do. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Maybe we can cheese it today, fellas. Maybe if we all share the recap today, we might all be able to get a hero point. That's genius. True. Okay. Let's all go down the line. We got to ad-lib it. We got to do that game where you, like, go one word at a time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's a really efficient way to do this. So here's the order. We're going to do the recap. Me and Zoran and Odo and Hulky. We're going to go, all right, here's the order. Odo, Hulky, me, Zoran. And then back to Odo, okay? One word. I'm going to fuck this up. Here we go. Let's go. Last. Time. On. Rock Ride. We. Attacked. A. Martinet. Who. Decidedly. Lost. To. Us. But. There. Was. Some. Soul. Fuckery. Inside. Combat. True. Now. We. Own. An. Airship. Stuart. Ship. That's one. That's one. It's one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Airship. Then. We. Discovered. Soylent. Green. What? Delicious. But. Also. It's. Lady. Zell. Who. Is. Fucked. I was. Shotted. Stares. Soylent. Green. I had. Someone. Say. Like. Soylent. Green. Is. Made. From. People. In this case. She is. Soylent. Green. Kind of. Is. That's all I was going for. She. She is literally a tree. So Thurston. Do we all get a hero point? Chat. Give yourself a hero point. You deserve it for. Dealing with that. That's close enough. Come on. Come on. Fine. Fine. I'll give you all an extra hero point. Yay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm happy. They're killing him. I'm sorry. I'm. I'm not even. I'm not even still sick. I'm just coughing. It's okay. You're just like me. A little bit of schmutz in my chest. That's it. If you get a few more levels on you. You'll be wheezing instead. That's true. I always cough like a fucking. Left 4 Dead like smoker. It's like. I. I like fucking live my life. Like a Left 4 Dead special. In fact. And. If you're not laughing to the point of wheezing. Or an asthmatic episode. Are you really laughing? No. Speaking of laughing. Of course. Our broken stuff. Just in case someone's like. I didn't understand anything anyone said. We basically were. Went over to the airship docks. And as we infiltrated. And dealt with various guards. That are on the airship itself. One evil martinet person. Who could punch. The literal souls out of people. Intercepted us. And with the work of teamwork. And friendship. We were able to bring them down. Because they were the ones assigned. To protecting this airship. After dealing with that individual. We quickly ran down to the engine room. To see. What can we do to start this thing up. But then we found. Someone. From Ten Houses Pass. Was imbued into the ship itself. In some. Horrible. Occult. Arcane way. And. At this point. Thurston. I think we're trying to. Either still figure it out. Or we got it. Kind of booted up. We're trying to get the hell out of here. So what adventure. Do you have for us today? It doesn't take you long. To break the airship. Out of the. The mooring docks. Of the rook's pilaster. As you do. You send into the evening sky. Away. From the city of Outset. Making your way out westwards. Towards the swamp. Towards. Zabble Zap's. Humble trading outposts. Which also conveniently. Has a newly erected airship tower. It's a work in progress. Yeah. That is very convenient. Hey guys. It's a very convenient airship tower. Were they building that? You spent three months out there. You spent three months out there. I am. I am back dating your actions. To be building yourself an airship tower. Because you were so confident. We're really strong. Yes. Baby. I wanted. I wanted to be that we. Somehow Zabble Zap's gotten so much business. To where Zabble Zap's like. This airship brings me many goods. And I can. I can. Cut out some middle bands. And basically made this ramshackle. Like you can hear the creaks of the wood. Like how bad it is. It is not. It's not going to last us. Or the next airship. It's a one-use airship dock. Yeah. It's just going to crumble. Single use. Single use. All right. All right. At this point. You begin acquiring your team. some of your allies who you've waited for to bring back on board. Now that you have this airship. Now that you're ready to set out from outset to collect these tokens. These items that will allow you to access the elemental sites of power. that you have learned about knowing that the first of these lies in the distant land of the globe. All right. Who's the team? No, we got to get crunch. Got to get crunch. Here, we'll make it. We'll do this like tryouts. We'll do this like tryouts. Duhakis is like back in outset. Would we just have grabbed her on the way out? Or is it just like Duhakis just gets to sit there and eat her depression sweets? I think Duhakis was meant to be there as like the coordinating events within outset. I don't think we wanted to snag her. If I'm recalling correctly. I think she's funny. I like her too. She is funny. That's why I'm leaving her to deal with outset. Because, you know, she's probably not going to betray us. Probably. Probably. Time to find out. Hey, Mr. Crunch. Why don't you come up with the airship with us? Is there a forge on board? Maybe. Maybe. I should go down into the interior. You're in check. Hold on. Mr. Crunch. Sort of a party boat. Crunch. There's a lady who's imbued into the hull of the ship. Now, don't try to pull her out or she'll die and then we'll all die. Got it? Lady imbued in the ship. Very, very, very, very, very, I'll have to. We need to put a curtain around that lady. You know, she's a real person. Maybe she still feels something. Maybe there's something left of her in there. Jesus Christ. It's like stealing somebody's soul. Yeah, yeah. God, we need to. Channazor is looking right at you, glowering on top, like the high deck, just staring at you. Oren looks back and he has, and he looks angry at you. And he turns away and he goes, hmm, anyway. Why, why are you two fighting with each other? Why are you beating? He called me a rat. When I was trying to help. Channazor looks down at Oren, covered in detritus, actual insects. Probably some of you, Aaron fleas as well. There's bugs. Oren, if your plumage wasn't so nice, I would be inclined to call you a pigeon more than that. We should probably get you cleaned up. Do you, do you? We haven't taken a bath since we moved to this swamp. There's no clean water. All the, wait, I can literally make water. Why didn't you just ask me? I don't like your water. Well, fuck you too. Say that, rat boy. Your water's yellow. No, it's not. I can't pee. What is it? Icor. There's a little meeting of the minds happening down there. Let them squabble. We have better matters to attend to. All right. Who invited the ogren? What the hell is a bell button? I'm just, I'm making the tryouts list as I put tokens onto the sheet. All right. All right. Sweet. One of them, one of them didn't like load correctly. I want to do a little bit of a refresh. Hold up. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. On my screen, one of the things loaded, the other one didn't. So we're going to get that reloaded real quick. I don't know if you're chatting. It was just, just, there we go. All right. That should fix itself. Oh, very good. Very good. All right. So if you want to let us know. Oh, hell yeah. We're getting everybody out here. Everybody's here. All right. Next. Do we all want to like be in a line? Like, like a judging line? Yeah. Wait, hold on. Now they need to get in line. Yeah. No, we need someone here. So that way we have, that way we have a symmetry. That we don't drag myself instead of moving. Hold on. Okay. There we go. Come on. Crunch. Okay. You can stay in there too, Crunch. I was going to move down there. Yeah. No, move Crunch. Yeah. Or who goes down there? That makes sense. There you go. Keep going out. All right. Who are you? Oh, I'm, you know, I'm just, my name's Tonkis and I, I saw the pretty flowing thing come about and Zabblezap said, Hey, you need to start free loading off of my place and you need to kind of, you know, get the head out of my own home and stop eating all my food. So I figured it might be time to get off and get myself a job. And where do you see yourself in five years? Eating. Real. Do you have any special skills? I'm big and I eat a lot. So if there's any excess food you don't need, I can take care of that. Oh, I could also bench press like two carriages. That's pretty good. All right. What would you say is your greatest weakness? Eating. It's double-edged sword there, I guess. It's, it's like, it's a moon, but also live by the gut, die by the gut. I know someone like that. What is your highest level of attained education? Uh, uh, self-schooled. Who holds up his hand? Self-motivated thinker. How many fingers am I holding up right now? Who is holding up his entire hand of five? Oh, oh, oh. That, Brady? Any points to your hand? Oh, he's good. He's got you there. That's pretty good, yeah. All right, um, are you willing to fight and die for a nebulous political cause that you likely will not comprehend? Will you feed me? Probably. Then yes. All right, you're in. All right. All right. do you want to like just sidle them to the back? Yeah, put him in the rigging on top of the ship. We just suspend them there for right now. That'd be like whenever we're done talking to him, he just moves to the side. Yeah, Tugas has joined the crew. Yay. A little fanfare. And he goes, and he goes behind us like just to be stored away off frame. Next. We're storing our ex's party members in Warhammer's base. This little halfling comes up. Nope. Then she leaves. Riley! Riley! Riley! She didn't make the cut. Sorry. You can't be here. Okay, Riley. Goodbye, Grandma Sweet. Well, come on. We were going to have Granny Sweet cook for us. Who is it? Hello. I was hoping that you could let me into the party, and I promise that I will, well, pretty much just sort of do everything and stab things with my sword. and, you know, that's basically going to be how it is. So, if you promise not to set me on fire, I will make an excellent addition to the crew. Hey, are you, are you in the wrong campaign? Killed him! He's gone. Just evaporated. He just vanished. Yeah, everyone agreed to hire him, too. He just suddenly just, what? Thanks, Doris FM. Could you describe this man coming up to us? Yes. Yes. Yes. He's a very, uh, fuckerby man, if you will. A, a sly noble. Oren looks at Tannhauser, then he kind of leans over and looks at Veena, and then he leans further over and looks over her, and he collectively makes a nod, hoping everyone understands what must be done. I understand. Oren will come up to this man and go like, hey, what's your name? Well, hello there. My name is, Slebergo, Der Happerby. Yeah, you're coming with me. He drags him over to the side. What are you doing? Hey, guys, I need some help with this one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good, we're good. Yeah, break his legs. Yeah, absolutely. Break his legs. Break his legs real quick. Break his legs. Yeah, we throw him off the side, and we go back to our, uh, our post. The remaining characters all leave out of fear of their lives. Damn, we should have kept this bit going on for so much longer. We just have talked. I know, that's the problem. I could have not GM'd tonight. I could have sat here for the next two hours and just let you all play with yourselves. Yeah, this is a filler episode. Yay. Yeah, welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. Filler episode. Hey, it's never filler if it's funny. It's true. So in the final accounting, we've recruited Chonkis. And Kroj. Oh, yeah. How much room do we have? Do we have enough room for more than men? Do we need more? I'm actually gonna, I'm gonna give this, uh, ship a little look over, and, uh, I have, I have, I actually don't think I have an appropriate lore for this. I have lore plane of air. I should have lore airships, but I don't. Here, you can also have a child. Push her off. Oliver twist. Olivia twist. You could not be here. Oh, God. Oh, oh, oh, shit. Step sideways. Started, started playing here. Two seconds for her to disintegrate into ash, much like my brain. So for the characters we want to get, do we want to get the noble mouse or leave him at outset to work with Duhakis? Uh, I believe he's also an outset with Duhakis. I think the, the only people who we knew were, uh, at, uh, uh, the trading post were crunch, our friends from the Kaibu, and, uh, apparently Chonkis. There's one more that we need to onboard. Hmm. Bantor, that gentleman from the Bastion Freehold. Right, right, right, right. All right, we did hire him, didn't we? Yeah, it's good. We did ask his name from the beginning. Sick Bantz. Yeah. Baldrick's downstairs. Remember, he's, he's looking over the ship, just make sure all the mechanics are working. All right. He was really affixed by them. I see. I see. Very well. Now then. All right. I think his exact words were like, well, someone has to maintain the ship. And then he went down and started messing with dials and stuff. That was a good impression. He doesn't break anything. I don't think it could be any more broken than it already is, Tannhauser. Do you see what's keeping this thing afloat? Yes, I did. Thank you. Yeah, it's not like he's a rat or anything. Orin kind of crosses his arms and looks away. Oh, what the hell are you talking about? Call me a rat. He's mad at you. I am sorry for insulting you. Now, can you end this noxious tantrum so that we can get on with our mission? Not until your attitude gets fixed. That will take some doing. I want you. I want you. He's like, we're trying to help Mr. Tannhauser. I accept the apology for being called a rat, but we're trying to help you out too. We're all in this together. So we are. Nevertheless, I am troubled by many things. I would request patience. If you're troubled by so many things, I might have something that can help you, Tannhauser. What on earth could you possibly help me? Open your tube. Open your, your nebulizer. I have a treat for you. Open your tube. Put this in my hand. I'm not letting you put it directly into my tube. Okay, but I, what if you told me where the tube was and I just knew for future reference? Looks at his face. I put the tube further into my, my outfit. She's just choking a little bit further. Yeah. A raft floats up next to the airship. Oh. Who's on the raft? We have borders. A gangly man with a cage surrounded by a swarm of dragonflies. Hey, lotus. Loads up the raft. Hello there. Hi, Mr. Blotis. Hello, Blotis. Hello. Greetings. Got any, uh, airship supplies on that raft of yours? Oh, no. But, I did hear from Bug that, that you're maybe going to Golgotha. Yep. Yep. That seems to be the destination. Yeah. How do you know? Are you, have you figured out where to dock? Uh, uh, that's actually a good question. We're going to find a map or something. You have maps? Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course, of course. He pulls out this, like, fine, wrought map and places it on the deck. Well, consider that, uh, a little bit of extra payment in exchange. Thank you, guys. In exchange for... Well, if you're wanting to dock with your airship, because you need a dock, you're going to need to have permission. The Western Wasteland airship dock. One of my family members operates a store there. His name is Blotus, the Scarab Merchant. Oh. He's going on a vacation. Oh. He went on vacation to Golgotha? No, from Golgotha. Ah, that makes more sense. But he runs the store at the airship tower. So, he can get you birthing and docking there. And in fact, I've already kind of got it. We talked this morning. If you do one thing... What's that? You all must staff the store for a day. Ah, that's going to be easy. I've been told I'm good at selling things. That seems like an equitable exchange. Our labor for these services. I find this agreement to be most proletarian. Very good. You'll need to go there and meet Mr. Radroud, the daytime manager. And I see. Well, staffing at your post. I fucking love our chat. Just nothing but... Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is this somebody that they know that we don't? No, it's just the concept of us having to staff a store. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right. What could possibly go wrong? Welcome to Rock Ride, the campaign that really shows you what high-level Pathfinder is all about. Smash cut to us in the little aprons. Oh, no. No, no, no. Smash cut to the airship making its way to the airship dock in Golgotha. This is awesome. All right, everyone. This is Salty Jump did this. Yeah. Ooh. Salty Jump. Sick as hell. Traveling east past the great cliff face away from outset into the vaster regions of the Perdoman continent into the land known as the Inheritor Lands where various disparate kingdoms battle for the former glory of the Empire of the First House. You come to the wastelands of Golgotha. Orange-hued sand dunes and rocky outcroppings marred by industry far beyond its age is what you see below you. Along with vast citadels of industry that pocket the area, the roaming of vehicles below, this is not a place suitable for airships. Until you come across the airship dock. It is a ram shackle apparatus that seems like it could have almost a half dozen, maybe even a dozen different airships docked to it. It connects to a larger facility in which you can see various, um, like, home edifices strung up, kind of like spherical attachments that people can get to by gangplanks and ladderways and ropes. Um, as you, as you make your way there and, and Veena, you manage to, to dock the ship. Do you want to actually give me a check to see if you just crash and the campaign ends? That'd be awesome. I'd love to. Yeah, I think so. I think we should, we should give Veena the opportunity. Yeah. All right. What am I rolling? We gotta trust Veena for this. Yeah. Easy will be thanking us. Yeah, industries are poor right now. Here's the finale. Here we go. Well, what am I rolling? Well, let's see. What, what skill do you think is appropriate here? Um, acrobatics for snap reflexes and not because I just have a plus 23. Uh, performance? Um, there isn't really a drive skill, is there? You know what? You know what? There is actually. It's lore piloting. Damn it. How about you give me that lore plane of air skill? Plane of air. All right. It doesn't have any purpose in this setting. So I'm going to look related to airships. Oh, you are a blessing, Thurston. Yeah, because I've been staring at that lore the whole time. Like, one day this will be relevant. One day. It is to fly an airship. One day. Uh, that's a 28. There we go. It was teetering on a four and a 20 and a 14. And you, you, you nailed it. Okay. Yay. You managed to, to dock the airship. Coming off, you're in a bustle. Bustle of individuals. One thing you know from your time on the airship. And we'll, we'll come back to some of this. We might do some, some flashbacks if you will. Um, but one thing that you, you've known is that your airship cannot be taken from. Um, Lady Zale's connection to this machine means that she will only interface with those that she recognizes as, um, as stewards of, of the, of the airship. Of which you all were based on Sandal Declan's, um, little decision in the basement of the, the mansion. Which is something that Lady Zale remained aware of. Which is why this airship didn't move even after it was completed. So you have nothing to fear of your airship being stolen. So, little meta context, you can leave the airship and be like, oh my god, are we going to lose it? Like, there will be people on it to make sure no one fucks with it, but no one can like magically jumpstart it and run away and abandon you and leave you in cold health. Yeah, I dare anybody to get past Tronkis. Well, it's best that we still maintain some level of care. I shudder to think what would happen to our airship even if it couldn't be stolen if we just docked it in the wastes. I'll make sure you take your valuables off of it. Let's just get this over with. Golgotha is a land of ill repute and ill omen. Nothing grand awaits us here. I hope they're not going to make us pay import duties. We have a lot of stuff on this ship to bring off. Do we? Do you see what kind of stuff we carry on us, Vina? I'm not going to pay duties on this. But, there's something exciting. Orin kind of like patters up the Vita and goes like, how does it feel being a captain? Not going to lie, it feels really good to be back. I mean, it's no Papa Storm's crown, but being up in the sky again. Dorin kind of looks around and kind of like taps the ship with his foot and he's like, did we ever give this thing a name? No, I don't think we ever got around to it. No, I don't think we did. Well, we would have crossed the whole ocean. We got to name it something. Yeah, you didn't cross an ocean. It's the same continent. Oh, it's the same continent? There we go. It's a big lake, Orin. Usually airships will earn their names like when they go through something important. Hmm. Okay. You know, a name is sort of a story with these things. I can think of a story. Regardless, Orin does like a little, he doesn't know how to salute. He does like three different salutes and then settles on one. And he's like, he's like, he's like, your orders, Captain Vina. My orders? Well, let's, uh, get off this thing and had two Zabblezaps friends, brothers, identical clones ship or a store. They are not. Blotis, the scarab merchant. Blotis, the scarab merchant. It's not difficult to remember. It's Blotis, but he's surrounded by dung beetles. This is true, but I thought what I said was funnier. It was hilarious. And then Tannhauser just walks off with grim aspect. Tanny. What? It's gonna be alright. Tannhauser continues. Ooh. Yeah, I can't really say I blame the guy. But, yeah. You just kind of witness his muse and his purpose for being turned into a glorified battery. I don't blame him. Brutal. Give him some time. Give him some time. In the meantime, I guess we have a store to run, so it's not like we can worry about that for too long. That is true. Well, a little bit of calm before the storm would be welcome. I've never really been to Gorgotha that much. Or ever, if I recall. This hasn't been, I haven't really been around that long, Mina. I suppose it'd be for my studies to see what kind of wonderful creatures the Anarchy has let roam upon these wild and untamed lands. I'm sure they're just delightful, teeming with, oh, such friendly energies. Yeah. I'll bet. Did we see, like, a giant evil-looking sandworm on our way in? No. No. No. No, no, we didn't. Just, like, roving vehicles below. I started looking for people with blue eyes. You don't see blue eyes, but you do see a blue neon sign that glows and says, Blotus's airship Scarab Emporium. It has two exclamation points at the end of it. Wow, I didn't know we had this technology. Wow. It's magical neon. Oh, right, magical neon. Yeah. All of a sudden, we take a gun to another con, it's cyberpunk. There is a, like, aged old man standing, or sitting on a stool in this, in this immense emporium. Hey there. Uh, Blotus the dragonfly merchant sent us. Apparently, Blotus the scarab merchant needs a little bit of extra assistance around here. Yeah, me too. Looks like, like, squints. This old man squints as he looks at each of... You are the ones who've been sent. That is true. That is true. Line up. He takes, like, a hand. He has a pipe in his mouth, a very tiny pipe. Line up. Okay. All right. Sure. Okay. In order of height. All right. Smallest, tallest. I leave that in your hands. Orin stands to the far left. I stand next to Orin. Who goes to the far right. I guess I'm next to Veena. I think Veena's taller than Tannhauser. Is she? I think so. What's Tannhauser's height? Did I write down Veena's? It might be Tannhauser 2. Tannhauser 2 was... I don't know. It doesn't have the height here. It doesn't have a height box. I didn't put a height. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. All right. All right. We're going to roll off. Whoever rolls higher gets to be taller. No, I think Tannhauser's shorter than Veena. All right. Short King. I think that's true. I think Tannhauser's taller than Aura and shorter than Veena. All right. Then I will shuffle next to Rahulu. Okay. All right. All right. The... It takes you a while. This... This elderly man does not look impressed. Then, like, puts his arms behind his back, attempts to straighten his back despite having this, like, massive hunch. Good day. I am Mr. Rattle, your daytime manager. Before we begin, please look at the sky. Breathe it in. And embrace your impending doom. I have been running this store for five decades. This is five more decades than any life expectancy in retail. True. You must see the lie. You see things today. Yes. I have. Your tolerance must be so high. That is why one of my eyes no longer works. What? Why doesn't it work? If you can find out which eye it is by the end of this grueling endeavor and should you survive, I will give you a lollipop. The right one. You must wait until the end of the day. Damn it. It's not a lollipop now. It's a 50-50. He told me by the end of the day. If you wish to return to your airship and wait for those with more sound constitution to survive this day, I bid you to do so now. No one will judge you. No. We made a promise and we are chuckle fucks of our word. They spent several score in a vandal army. Your store doesn't scare me. He turns around leaving his back to all of you. So be it. Ard looks at his friends. What do we sign up for? Um, retail work? A war, Oren. A war to end all wars. A nine to five. Fuck. Rohua fishes out an apron from his orb. No! Pulls out a cigarette. He turns. You must wear the vests. Oh, there's a uniform. That is right. Come. Back here. My whole ensemble is part of my charm. All right. All right. Let me take the if the vest doesn't match. I did not say take it yet. Wait. Wait. You see. First, we must pray. Pray to who? Should you not believe in a deity, should you be an atheist, you may pray to science or offer yourself to the rot before we begin? All right. He looks down at the ground clearly praying. I'm going to say a prayer to both Crawdadamus and Papa Storm. Okay. Tannhauser will say a prayer to the proletariat. Okay. And the revolution. Ruhu will say a prayer to the anarchy and pray that the shift is over soon or that he doesn't remember it. Or pray through the greening way. Very good. This is the first vest. Who will be brave enough to take this upon themselves? I volunteer. Are you sure, Veena? Yep. It could be mine. I'm brave. I'm a brave girl. I can put on the vest. Take it. It belonged to Edwin. The fireman. What happened to Edwin? He made the connection. Now, imagine, he kind of tears up a bit, looks away. The camera, the camera, the camera, like, focuses on Mr. Rattle's face. Like, like, then you have, like, white noise, like, this kind of, like, buzzing sound that drowns out all other sounds as his eyes just stare into the camera. He's got a thousand yards, a thousand sails there. He made the mimic. It was difficult to put the pieces together. Oh, oh, oh, oh, my, my, my, my apologies. No, no, no, he, he, he got admitted into college. Oh. Oh. Good for him. Take the second vest. Was his major in retail sciences? Oh, sorry. What, did he take a fucking degree in philosophy then? He went down the path of those people who figure out where to put the candy in the aisle so you get more enticed to buy stuff as you're waiting. He's that motherfucker. Understandable. And then he was crushed. Oh, there we go. He went in for some kind of worthless degree like, like graphic design. Without going for the doctorate. the student debt crushed him. They say he's still buried under it. Yeah, that'll happen. Yeah, that's crazy. Lightning flashes over the great and powerful student named Debt who crushes all who oppose him. Hey, chat, type one, type one in chat if you, if you, uh, have, have debt due to an art degree. Well, I guess I have to type one. Oh, God. It's up there with the number of oh, no's. How much, hey, hey, chat, if you're willing to be a bit personal, uh, type in how much money you still owe in student debt. That's, uh, ugh. And your social security number and your phone number and your area. Oh, please type in whatever ID you use in your FAFSA as well, just for, it's for a giggle, you know. Reasons. Yay. But who, who among you will take the second vest? Uh, I, I will take the second vest. All right. Shivers. It is, it is torn up and like covered in a dark crimson. I should mention these vests are like blue. They're kind of like, you know, like big box market greeter, uh, vests. This one is torn up and like, like, like doused in deep crimson. Why does it look like this? Ah, yes, put it on. Don't say it like that, man. It puts the, it puts the outfit on the skin or else it works third shift again. Rahua puts it on crying just a little bit. Good. It fits. I was worried. It was a defect from the factory. Red dye got into it. All right. Who wants the third one? Also has a ghost in it. I will take the ghost vest. I will take the third vest old man. You do not know what you ask for. He pulls out this like, pristine vest, handing it ceremoniously. You are on borrowed time. Is it pristine because, because we look at it and it has the badge manager on it? What curse lies woven between these fabric threads? It is jubilation. It's, it's jubilation. You will find joy if you put this vest on. I do not know joy. And I will put the vest on. Very good. And you. He turns to Oren. Are you ready? I, I, I guess. Excellent. As the youngest, you shall have this vest. It's yellow. you shall have the honored role of trainee. me. No. No. No. But you must be quick to put this on. Why? Because our first customer is arriving. Does it have holes in the back? put it on quickly. You do not know what you dance with here. He struggles, but it doesn't fucking fit the way you fell off. The storm approaches. The torrential rains will undoubtedly be out of doing unless you put this on now. Increase your speed, child. He struggles, but it's all fucked up. the ground begins to shake as though something monumental, titanic, or just incredibly heavy is walking towards all of you. All of you. Now is the time. You must prepare yourselves and become ready. You must become ready for what is to come. If you are not prepared, if you do not stand by your co-workers, you will all die. Brace yourselves. A great challenge approaches. Oh, okay. Wait, who's going where? RING IT IN HALF! And I'll run out the door to open it. All right. All right, how you... All right. And approaching comes. I will allow someone else to narrate what approaches. They are small. Very small in comparison to everyone to everyone else here. They stand about three and a half foot tall. One and a half foot being their head. They have ape-like, shimp-like arms and a body with orange, yellowish, almost mucus yellowish skin. and you can see a big helmet made out of what seems to be looted equipment from some large, massive mechanical behemoth just turned into a weird mask. And then other looted garments such as belts, overalls, whatever, snagged onto their body and just belted on there. and this little creature stands in front of the door and goes, hi. Hi, how are you doing? Welcome to the blotis, the scarab merchant. Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the good blotis, home of the scarab merchant. Can we help you with your order? Yeah. You got my stuff? Your stuff? What's your order number? My order number is... What is my order number? It's... She flips through her various books of things that she has, most likely stolen. This one holds off just a seemingly stolen old delivery note for someone else. Ruhua takes the note. That one? That one goes here, right? Thurston, does this note go here? What kind of check do you have to verify this? Does it bear the mark of the store? What kind of skill check do you have? Okay. Lore branding? Lore wage slavery. Excellent. Good. I would say it would be a society check. We do live in one. True. I've heard that. Okay. Okay, give me a society check. Sus! Sus! Sus! Sus! Sus was destroyed? Sus! Sus! Sus! No, no, no, no, no! 15. Oh, 15. Okay. Yeah. You think it belongs to this store. Okay. Okay. It looks, yeah, it looks like something we'd have here. Let me go in back and see if it's ready. Thank you. It's supposed to be 15 rations. Wait. Trainee, come here. Mr. Rattle drags you over. Ah! Do you see the casualness with which your companion has spoken to the customer? I'll try to correct him right away. I'll beat them until morale improves. Yes, good. Please. Demonstrate. Oren takes his staff. Don't try to the customer that way. The Oren kind of bows three times to the customer going, we're very sorry, we're very sorry, we're very sorry, clunk. And I basically tried to hit Rua with the, I can't target for a thing right now because I set the old mods up that way. I got the roll here though. 20, 20 plus, okay, I rolled the two. I basically probably whiff. I would like to react. I would like to snap and block. Okay. We're very sorry, we'll get your order number and your order out here. Pronto, thank you Mr. customer for shopping at the Scarab Lord store. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm the first time here. It is our pleasure. It is our pleasure. It is our pleasure. Bowls five times. There is like a resounding thump sound as Mr. Rattle hits the floor after the deflected quarterstaff hit his head. No! Oh, no! Well, I guess that was the last straw, huh? Oren starts putting up do not slip signs around him. I outline his body in chalk. Oh, no! The owner is unconscious. Where have I seen this before? Wait, I know what to do when this happens. And Rahua goes outside. He turns the sign of the door over to on break for 15 minutes. And then Rahua comes back on side and he lights up a cigarette. I'm on smoke break. It's going to be back home. The little creature does a grabby hand towards Rahua. Can I bomb one? Can you bomb? Oh, yeah, sure. Rahua gives the small creature a cigarette. Yeah, they eat it. You know, eating cigarettes is bad to your health. One of three outside doctors says this. What? You're supposed to smoke them. They're healthy if you smoke them. They're healthy if you smoke them. Yeah. Whoa. They stare off into the ether like that is like some revelation. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Yeah, that's true. I've always eaten them. I found these on like a bunch of people out there in the desert. Where did you find them? Oh, no. Huh? I turned to attention. Looking at the break sign is an immense creature, larger than an ogre making Chonkis look small by comparison with bat like wings and a great hat that covers much of their like that covers their head and they sort of wear these robes over a shirt that is a dress shirt stretched to its limits. Was I late? Not again. Arne quickly rushes over, flips over the sign and says, I spoke to the gun blotus hold of the scarab blotus. Can we help you with your orders? Hello. Looks down. Train E. Hi, I'm Train E. Orin. It's nice to meet you. How can I help you? you talk very quick. It's for your efficiency, sir. Very good. should I come back when the break is over? The break is now over. We can help you now. Orin, if you turn that sign around, I'm going to call my union. He looks back at you, smiles. The sign's already turned over. Sorry, I don't think there are unions in Golgotha. Tanny, are there unions in Golgotha? There sure are now. I am officially the union representative. Let's go! Come on, if nobody got me, Tannhauser's got me. Burgers of the Wastes Unite. We have already unionized the store. Sir, can I convince you to contribute to the Brotus the Scarab Urgent union fund so that we can host a pizza party? Ah, yes. I will fund a pizza party. As someone who owns many operations, I understand the tool of oppression that is the pizza party, and I will support it. Yes. We industrial folk must stay together. He pats his belly very slowly during this. Yes, you're right. Our class interest. We must arraign and crush down the proletarians. Yes, that's exactly what we have to do. So, can I eat that one? And points to snot. No, they're not for sale. They're a customer. I. Oh. Is that what you came here to do? Would I interest you, little one, in a pizza party? Whoa. What's that? It is a wondrous event. This ain't some cult, right? And she looks around, like, confused at everyone else around. Okay. Give me a perception check. I roll a 26. Absolutely a cult. This guy is, like, an absolute cult leader. Like, if it weren't, like, like, if the tiny, like, bat wings and, like, ominous, like, darkness over his eyes and the tattoos and, like, the small, like, charms coming off the rim of the hat weren't enough. Yeah, this guy runs a cult. Okay. Nah, I don't care how big and round you are. No, I don't want any of that. Whoa. Okay. Oh, look, they have dill pickles on saying. Yeah, would you like a friend to I saw it first. Trainee, get me the dill pickle. Uh, okay. Uh, is there only one dill pickle? Is it like a desiccated, like, like, a little, like, like, shrivel, like, it's all on its left? No, it's one big dill pickle in a jar. It's the big papa pickle. Yeah. It's, it's, it is shriveled and desiccated and that's why there's a sticker on it that says clearance. You, it's right on the pickle. You're the pretty one, give me the pickle. Oh, Oh, I guess Oh, me? Well, this is awkward. Tenny, Tenny, you are beautiful. I mean, if you're gonna twist my arm about it, I suppose I have to do it, you know. Classical Gotham beauty. That's right. It's not about the okay sign. Yeah. Wait. The okay sign. There is only one way to solve this. Tell me more. He looks at snot. Not at you. He looks at snot. Our No. We have them fight for us. Your store clerk versus my store clerk. hold hold on. Which one's whose? Yeah. The trainee is mine. That guy. And she points at Oren. He looks small. He's like dwarfed by this mass that comes behind him like this looming shadow who puts a hand on Oren's shoulder. snod snod looks back snod looks back over at Tannhauser and goes yeah I'll take that bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I imagine the camera was like I'll take the small one and it turns to a PNG of a small bird. big hyper realistic hand comes on screen grabs Oren. Okay little bird you can take him. He looks at Tannhauser. Are we doing this? Danny if you hurt Oren I have to say I am never going to forgive you. Look at him he's just a little guy. Yes I'm aware of how little he is. You will do it for Felgo Golfin right? No I won't do it for you. I'll do it for the working class. That's me. I mean do you own land or capital? No. Okay great. Here have you ever read any ideas? Way to assume. No I was asking. Yeah. The way would you assume before? No because I didn't assume because I asked for more information. I didn't know whether or not you were. If I assume. Sure. Sure. Typical vandal ganger. Yeah well you know what I don't even know who you associate with but well I'm snot a goblin. You're not you're not a goblin. I'm snot a goblin. Snot a goblin. It's not a goblin. Yeah. So what snot are you? What's snot a goblin? What's snot a goblin? All right Oren I need to kill you now I think. No I'm going to look at Oren and I'm going to say hey Oren. Yeah. So basically I'm going to I'm going to do something you just pretend like it killed you. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Get ready. Oh I'm going to kill him. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to get you. Here take this and I'll lightly tap my my my my fist on his head very lightly. Oh yeah. Take another one of those and I'll see you do a nice little uppercut yeah. All right. Yeah. And then finishing move axe handle don't bring it down very slowly on his head just kind of like slowly but surely like goes to his knees lays down Oh wait hold on I'm going to I'm going to make sure wait wait wait I'm going to make sure he falls down on the carpet he falls on the carpet yeah okay all right are you good he lays there dead all right he's dead Snot turns to Veena and goes he's just a pretty face right oh Tanny yeah like look at him oh he's got a little something rattling around between his ears he's more than just his beautiful body doesn't seem like it Mr. Rattle bolts up I see we've had our first casualty tragic but expected it is the Golgothan way the sands will take them yes you you now bear the mark of trainees not it takes the trainee best off of the down door no no no no I'm I'm a customer I'm a customer no no you keep what you kill wait does that mean that if I lost then he would have been the new trainee now we shall mourn for the trainee yes that's right Oren doesn't move a goddamn muscle it's not puts the vest on their head but can't move it past their mask so it just sits on top of their head and they start doing the prayer with Mr. Rattle I'll as everyone prays I'll approach the the man of whom I've defeated the champion of so as a consolation prize I suppose you want me to bring this body to where you came from so that way you can consume it well a nerve something happens with Oren's leg and it like kicks Tannhaus I was like the nerves of the power you're still firing shut up you don't exist anymore I wasn't going to be greedy but I did want a snack I see which airship did you come in on oh no I walk damn well airships are for the rich they keep us middle classers down oh my god your petite bourgeois all of that and your petite bourgeois well I thought you were a big shot hombre I thought you were I thought you were real real blood sucking parasite but it turns out you're a barnacle on top of a barnacle give me the respect for that yeah absolutely 23 my bad he turns running away crying I'm a big shot I'm a big shot you're nothing go back to the slum you over right rotten dick does he not take his pickle and oren with him he does not well I guess that means this pickles all years here you go oh thank you they open it with their teeth and then they eat it and and drink all of the pickle juice and then like start crunching up the jar and start eating that too oh very nice so mr rattle is there like a commission deal for every sale that you make because it looks like I just made a sale oh can I tip yeah yeah yeah what you got is the first step to damnation do you wish to fall well don't threaten me with a good time here uh snot takes up a bag that has nothing else with their visual appearance to do and it has like blood stains on it and puts it on the on the counter here you can have this uh it's full of like 50 gold pieces worth of silver oh yeah this isn't the sketchiest bag of money i've ever owned yeah do you see do you see what happens to those who do not adhere to hubris who may may get survive this day and do justice to the memory of edwin rest in peace edwin rest in peace edwin rest in peace edwin rest in peace edwin and you this one's turns to rahua there there was a smoke break i could smell it on the air still there was the other guy what other guy the other guy it was the other guy the new other guy the new employee you hired yeah he got eaten my worms turns to orrin on the floor yeah he couldn't handle it that one mm-hmm he ate one cigarette and he died instantly he should have smoked it and then he would have resurrected immediately it just metabolized in his body and into smoke the wrong way you know how birds are i rescind i rescind my prior benediction for his death yeah i spit on him mr rattle spits on you warren oh my god warren oh no balls of fist but he still plays dead arthur fist wait wait wait wait i think i can fix him wait wait i don't think that's necessary i mean he's pretty stone cold dead i don't think yeah i know he's very dead no no he must wait wait he must be trained more it's true it's true death is not the end of retail i shall call forth his spirit from the dead snot walks forward and then kicks oren once thoughts back down the ritual the ritual of resurrection is complete rise trainee or what happened i heard you were smoking oh that was me oh that was me i'd die if i smoke yeah what you did team meeting everyone in a line we're shooting yeah come come along training arms wait a second mr rattle i'll do no such thing i know who was really smoking oh no and it was so obvious the entire time to think we were all fools in your little puppet show but now i see the truth mr rattle what's that between your lips it's a pipe yes you were smoking on break no i wasn't keep smoking nuh uh i cast press agitation to make his pipe smoking just yeah how do you explain that he cuts he cuts to the core of your being tan hauser he he cuts into your soul with four words because i'm the manager dun dun dun shut so oh i suppose that means that you you have hierarchy over us don't you almost as though you know scripted takes the pipe out of his mouth just to to blow a bit more smoke before putting it back in with a slight smile it is all right i have learned the error of my ways in this war you must be able to trust those by you companions in conflict snot trade fests with tan hauser he's the trainee now he's the trainee i am not the trainee you promised me joy does this mean that i got a promotion yes yes no no let's put let's let's put it to a union vote all in favor of me trending my vest say aye aye orange looks down and he's like i'm not wearing a vest so i don't have a job he's free run it's orange shopping that's all right that's one vote for aye all all others seem to abstain it seems as though the nays have it snot walks over to rehua and goes ten gold pieces and you say aye 15 15 yeah here we go she gives you 15 gold pieces thanks slime aye watch you just a hat shake with him don't worry everyone everyone looks good in yellow now put it on no you can't do this to me now i've sacrificed a moment of silence for clerk tannhauser for clerk tannhauser is no more defeated in the winds of war and battle from the ashes shall rise trainee tannhauser this indignity it it requires satisfaction tannhauser says it's a yellow vest don't worry don't worry my experience as a trainee was great really yeah i got to kick a guy and she points at them orange looking at various seeds he's like ah these would be really good veena's two aisles over with orange she's like behind one of the free sample things like can i interest you in a free sample of some Golgotha mist today sir oh i would love some yeah yeah it's a fizzy beverage that makes you feel like you're dying oh awesome it takes a fizzy beverage a figure appears between veena and orrin a like like heavily robed figure with a breathing apparatus device glove like thick black gloves with little backings yes i would like the fizz oh yeah here we are Golgotha mist it is technically zero sugar and zero calories because the sweetener that was put inside of this is technically considered an illegal war crime in most countries around the world you are knowledgeable i know i love my fizzy beverages it's really good mixed with a little bit of vodka i cannot drink alcohol like that it clogs the machine oh understandable well it's also good with a little spritz of lime i like spritzes of lime too great give it a try i will just spritz it in his face but not right now i can't it won't work oh well if you would like to take some cans home for later we have six packs on sale right now buy two get two free yes please show me these cans hey man let's not oh fuck zoran good night everybody good night everybody they actually come in bottles uh now did someone hey guys check out my big jugs i say taking a few big jugs of Golgotha wow i can't believe i can't believe i can hold these giant melons in my hand he turns around holding water those are big naturals they even got hoops on them hey did anybody see my big hooters anywhere or who turns around looking for sorcerers now you you're a saucer king you have two saucers with you it's true you just can't see them because it's on his head but i did find these two seven women's breasts welcome to Golgotha let's take a break right there okay you ever wonder how we could afford all this amazing art and keep the production going and narrative declaration well it's because of you either you're a member of patreon a youtube member or a twitch subscriber all the way to just someone who's just willing to watch the shows whenever they come out for free and then telling people that we exist it's thanks to you that narrative declaration is able to grow to the size it is today and if you want to really help it grow even more all the revenue that we get from our merch store at narrative declaration.shop where you can pick up game mats t-shirts posters all sorts of things that also goes directly into supporting artists animators editors players game masters anybody anybody who helps make everything to be due here successful so thank you so much to you for supporting the show either it's monetarily or just with your time thank you so much and enjoy the show the individual standing by vena yes i would like to make purchases what can i get for you things all right you're gonna have to be more specific so i can help you check out many explosives oh many explosives um hey uh uh uh hey boss man mr rattle what isle are the explosives on again you have opened the pandora's box why is everything a doomsday with you he's a retail worker i know but come on it's not the rapture i mean have you seen golgotha well i would consider the fact that mass layoffs would be the rapture so sorry my bad ah ah yeah oh explosives all right i must take them to the back room but you know that if you go there you walk alone only you and the customer may tread that path there's a sign that says one employee one customer only by the door okay thanks boss and i'm going to acting as if that is completely normal just right this way uh right this way sir and or madam and or friend yes thank you friend will do nicely excellent you see the explosives and like as as this as this happens like mr rattle mr rattle turns like all right we should take a moment once again to pray we do not know if they will return oh it's prayer time it is get close it is like five uh five corridors away is prayer all right we must pray that our employee comes back to us but more importantly that our customer leaves a good review pray to the five stars do not be greedy for all will suffice all right i mean please don't return your order please leave me five stars please let me fix your order can we recruit him on the uh uh on the airship i will set up an airship gift shop purely so mr rattle can man it he's a chief of morale he's gonna make sure the morale doesn't get too high exactly exactly guys guys look we finally found land and we can finally get food dark places are on those arms dark places oh man someone's birthday i have the chance for death they're working whichever closer to failure soon your age will catch up with you and then you will find how icky and gross it is when you fall into the rotting mass on the bench of your grave i so so get big props to me h behemoth who was over at our place um like a month or two ago and got me on a video called um uh it's insane driver's ed teacher scares students uh which is exactly where this npc is based off of and i strongly recommend that you all go and watch that in the future but yes all right i'm brave in the back room the back room okay so like you open up the back like the back room and like as you get there mr rattle like rushes up oh i forgot uh-huh you have earned this on your knees oh okay all right on your knees now oh okay okay okay i'm on them the junior daytime supervisor and you shall have this key this is a backup of this larger key i have it will allow you access to the back room thank you i will do my level best not to abuse this power that much do not do not and he simply turns like shaking his head do not and walks away all right well um thank you customer for being here to uh um being here present for the greatest moment of my life i wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else let's get you some bombs explosives yep and like you you open it up and i don't know like this is i i just assume that the room is what any american firework store looks like i've never been in an american yeah it's it's oh my god it's uh it's it's uh yeah no it's wall to wall things that things that might kill you let me let me tell you what a fireworks store is it's not a store it's a tent it's a tent out in the middle of fucking nowhere and they're always red and white yeah like or a truck yeah it's it's always just like yeah there's only like a guy out in the back of somewhere on the side of the road go get your free phone get your fireworks folks and he's got the weirdest stuff and there's always it's either that or the the red and white tent they're always red and white they're always striped i don't know if they ever decided to evolve from that formula but it's always the same and you walk inside it smells of gunpowder and cheapness and you just see the most wildest garbage in the world like like black cat racers and then like big like bin big bombing bitches like fireworks and the terminator and it's a picture of like um sylvester stallone on it and then you see one with like the world of warcraft pictures on it saying like fantasy air or some shit like or like the orc explosion orc exploder and all this other stuff you find that it looks like a minigun but it actually is just like a burning snake it's well hold on there zorn i may not be some big desert lobster but not every fireworks store is a striped tent i'll have you know are you well actuallying fireworks oh no i am for very good reason because and it's a shame that the pandemic took them but down in erie erie pa there did exist a wonderful brick and mortar firework store establishment but not just a firework store it was a combination jelly belly outlet and firework store but not just jelly belly and fireworks they also sold melee weapons like explicitly melee weapons including mall ninja shredder arm gauntlet shit they found the stock that all the malls got rid of they're just like yeah yeah these people are buying fireworks and buying this stupid shit oh my god i miss that store every time i pass through erie that was it was a rite of passage get it my ninja stars my fireworks and some jelly bellies for the road i have to i i have literally i googled up fireworks tent and it's immediately the tent i'm thinking of immediately i i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna show this real quick so we're detracting from our game but i i am hyper fixated now this is what they look like like this is what the people want yeah just a like red and white striped one and then like the interior they have the interior here too hold up oh i have it it's just all these plywood like desks and everything hold on i have the other image don't worry i got you i can't i can't wait to learn about high level pathfinder i'm gonna watch this narrative declaration show it's gonna teach me i'm learning so much more than high level pathfinder i need to come back every week we're gonna zoom in we're gonna zoom in we have the big red thunder oh the big red thunder and then we got the sky bomb buy one get three buy one get three free and then we have the the black shirt shirt defender shirt defender you know is that the name i i should point out that a rock grind is officially sponsored by polino fireworks yeah i want to be sponsored by big red thunder i you know this is important to pathfinder because if paizo is ever hurting for spell spell name ideas you can just walk into an american fireworks store oh my god you're right dear freelancer please write the black shirt defender spell yeah third or fourth rank spell somewhere black shirt defender that hurts you i cast big red thunder so so zoran zoran felt really bad about you know just like i'm sorry to derail but the fireworks you know like we need to we need to discuss this have we got that out of our system can i can i bring us back on topic you can be a game master again yes okay i'm gonna be a game master by introducing our next customer oh yes okay oh hulky i want you to describe the diminutive tiny sized figure that approaches into the store trundle is not a good word putters in a small one to two foot tall creature very mouse-like with a face full of hair little whiskers little wispy might actually be whiskers coming from its nose and its eyebrows holding a massive black engraved hatchet looking to be taller than it cloaked in a small woodland sage tunic and a bright red cap this small creature trundles up to you Oren he come no no no not to Oren he's coming up to Tannhauser oh my mistake yeah Oren doesn't work here anymore how did yeah you're right he's an employee i forgot you're unemployed stay up with the retail politics yeah yeah how did how could you forget Oren quit like a week ago i'm on smoko i don't have to care hello greetings sir madam i am trainee Tannhauser how may i provide you excellent service today i want to buy your tree fuck it sure excellent turns and starts like waddle walking towards Rua hey Rua what Tannhauser this guy wants to buy you oh who doesn't these days i'm not for sale hi there i'm going to live in you what you know it wouldn't be so weird if that wasn't the first time that i didn't hear that i what are you offering can you pay rent no i'm going to live in you doesn't he mean gnome i'll salty get a hero point i'll see my oh guys salty yeah on a scale of average cute how cute is snot is snot cute enough to avoid ire snot snot is the type of creature that moves in ways they shouldn't move and oh good and smells like a mixture of like bath rinser and rust and like stolen goods and tobacco that has been eaten instead of smoked you wouldn't hit a girl goblin would you what yeah you wouldn't hit a goblin right and when when they turn around they look like the weirdest pug creature you've ever seen in the sense that they don't look at you they look at the two walls besides you you can judge if that's cute or not i'm getting roshi vision here for who looks down at the small customer do you have anything you can leverage to live inside i might be able to hook you up but you've got to sweeten the pot he starts like like lining up his hatchet to your knee oh i'm lining something up you know i'd love to help you because as you know as as we are fellow workers i believe it is in our our rights to look out for each other and support each other uh you know workers rights and all but you see the thing is i look right at him and i cast grease on the floor thing is i gotta mop up this big puddle of grease that's crazy you see so uh hey uh hey salty yeah out of character how much health do you have 138 that's that's great i'm really glad you have that much health yeah yeah all goblins do by the way that's that's crazy yeah yeah goblins are actually the strongest creatures average but are you snot a goblin yeah i'm snot a goblin you're snot a goblin so uh i'm really i'm really happy i'm really happy that we're all on the same page and we're really we're really hammering home this whole class traitor stick that you really hammered into me over three arcs tanhauser hey do you want to see how you were born here what snot do you want to see how you die one day huh you little one huh do you want to see the end of all things okay okay uh i i arrange myself at a particular formation to catch all three of you in a 15 foot cone and i cast cast in a time oh no please uh please cast the spell can you uh can you make me a dc29 fort save uh can you cast the spell into chat for us sure go ahead cast so we know what the hell you're doing yeah so you release a wave of temporal energy that sends creatures violently tumbling through time scarring their thoughts with the information flowing around them although the journey can feel like it lasts for minutes or even days the targets reappear instantly witnessing this chaotic flow of time and being bashed against objects from different times seals the target 5d8 mental damage and 5d6 bludgeoning damage with a fort save a creature that falls into time disappears until the end of your turn it then reappears in the same space it left if the space is occupied it appears in the nearest empty space chosen by the gm i don't think we're getting that pizza party so i don't have a i don't have a token targeted i'll just roll a 42 as normal yeah one sec i'm gonna give me a moment here please do i'm gonna pull up a token for this gnome how exciting i'm gonna use this level 1 gnome bard i kept waiting to see if you would like be like oh yeah yeah sure homeboy you can come live live with me and you were gonna cast pet cash on him oh no pet cash that would've been really funny i was gonna let him up until he tried to start sizing up my knee for firewood you just absorb him into your orb and he's just stuck in there if he survives the travel i might just take him hey thurston can i get a token he critically failed so please roll damage oh my god absolutely did you cast it on all three of us yes i did it's a 15 foot cone i gotta roll my save yeah i rolled a 29 that's pretty good that's a pass i rolled a 33 all right both of us succeed so you just you just fall you fall at a time both of you you fall at a time ah majority's mass fall sequence activates please please roll the damage let's see you take 34 damage 15 mental and 19 bludgeoning the gnome however it takes 68 it is also sickened too they'll take half of that the gnome doubles that yeah that's what i'm saying yeah yeah okay okay um we have three seconds six seconds this would be a good time for a deal work sequence what was that what was that a little goblin noise yeah that was my that was my character's noise oh god all right oh my god when just got sent straight to time when snot falls into reality again they stand up walk over to Rahua points at them and go can you do that again uh not until i've had my beauty rest i saw so many things i saw so many things okay what did you see tell me what tell me what the future bears goblin thing go what did your little goblin eyes see like my lost password it was one two three four five six same as my luggage i also realized that i had taxes that i had to pay and i now know where the tax is the i also remember turn oh oh he's gone oh arkham horror lost in time and space if you no no i i think it's more like do you remember that simpson that old simpsons episode where they had all the hockey players and then like ozzy smith like falls into this like like red void that's that's what happens oh my god the gnome does not return i'm sure it'll appear someday i'm gonna i'm gonna i oh man we're gonna have so we're gonna have so many the gnome returns complications yeah yeah commit your gnome related complications at madeindecorations.com and be the first to get in on the new joke temporal gnomes one day my worthy heir will return to me and he will live inside me as friends that's your backup character no he's a dwarf it's different he's a different time traveler would it be would it be possible for me to say that around now is when tanhauser returns from time yes yes yes yeah tanhauser flashes back covered in grime and blood and weird lizard like skulls rawhua that travel through time sucked i was hanging out with dinosaurs for a week was a dinosaur was it fun no i have to run away from a triceratops well yes but it's less fulfilling than you think when your innards are replaced with an emulsifying blender oh what the hell dude same team tanhauser same team you're the one that took a bribe you're the one that fucked me over i was gonna mop grease i just not help but you sent me to time no silence mr rattle like walks up no no this is how it all falls apart you want to fight one another this is how you die i didn't want to fight him i just wanted to fuck with him instantly i made him at dinosaurs instantly tanhauser hears your words he's right rahua i give rahua a hug rahua gives tanhauser a big hug wall he gives him a big heel oh vena walks out from the back room the man has purchased many many many explosives it doesn't matter who is the trainee and who's not the trainee at the end of the day we're all we're all just members of a working class and we're all learning and we're not dinosaurs there's no dinosaurs they're not real no they're not real anymore buddy they died millions of years ago maybe possibly can i have one of those yeah sure yeah sure shake stops hand yes mr rattle places his hand on your shoulder danazer take off the vest i'm free i'm free war give him your vest what there must always be a training give him your vest he's not nasty started on the yellow red just put his hands to point him point point drag graphic pulls it on through vena is standing behind the the counter in front of the cash register as she's like scanning all of these increasingly dangerous looking bombs with one hand and the other one she's saluting there must always be a trainee the ghost of capitalism damn i didn't realize mr rattle's first name was bulvar you know but i do have to say one thing about the dinosaurs i didn't mind they did live in a classless society was it good i mean compared to this shit true your vest take the trainee vest i will take the trainee vest you must learn not cage me as far as i can tell you've slain a customer a grave sin one you must work your way back from i agree future customer but i will take this punishment in shrine i like this guy hey trainee i need you to go i need you to go mop up that grease on the floor yeah trainee go mop up the grease yeah i like i like the grease on fire thurston i'd like to use a hero point to be level 20 for five seconds so i can redo my spell slots i need a goat spell so i can cast cast into time again you can have to go hang out with the dinosaurs i'm gonna go hang out with the dinosaurs again i'll just spend a hero point to cast it again oh my god cool you know this is marking out a hero point right if either one of you sees that gnome tell him if he makes his way back he will have his home are you hitting both of them again yeah of course i am no i mean what's gonna happen to me wait are you targeting mr rattle in this or just the two of them no i respect mr rattle he runs a tight ship very good that's just punishing my friends excellent excellent please give me uh well paste it into chat and then we'll get the saves again yeah of course of course you can cast that there we go uh yeah i still don't have a token i'll throw a random 40 dude saving i believe in you i roll a total 34 why are you chanting over there and why are you doing all that yeah so you both you both you both succeed so you're only got lost in time for a round and then come back lol taking half damage i was thrown back to the past back to the past back into the past go yeah yeah now the goblin must return to the past and undo the chaos that is can i uh i'd like to spend a hero point uh real quick uh thurston yeah of course all right i don't even know what it's for i'm just gonna agree yeah yeah tannhuser flashes back all right well now you fucked up for who i taught the dinosaurs how to vote i don't know what the hell i just did sidestream i'm pretty sure i just created my own philosophy of political science so dinosaurs still exist like you just go go kill one randomly in the world but like so so we take this logic right you you go far into the past you taught them how to vote you taught them society in a way yes so you are you are the reason you're currently struggling yeah yeah yeah i i tannhuser went back in time and he organized the dinosaurs into a utopian leftist society that then fell apart in his absence uh during the extinction and thereby created the first society ever on time so i'm so happy you bootstrapped paradox communism in the time yeah yeah yeah the first society ever on time so i'm so happy you bootstrap paradox communism in the time yeah is that okay thurston hey hey yeah yeah one sec uh hey erndale yeah yeah so you're not you're not going to believe what's happening don't bring him into this don't i know don't call our dads we've only we've only been gone you know you've only been gone like i don't know was it two hours ten minutes or so yeah don't worry guys don't worry call me i'll take the blame you get this message thanks okay sorry where were we guys oh don't worry i'll take the blame i i'm sorry i'm sorry thurston um i'd like for one of my languages to be dinosaur i think that's justified unallocated do you have any languages you want to trade out for dinosaur well i have three unallocated languages oh that you remember that's wrong to be determined at later dates oh my god i hate it i hate it dinosaur mark dinosaur down just do it yeah absolutely do it i the closest i get here is draconic i don't think that's quite no no no no no i'm gonna no one sec we have we have the power here i got russian here oh my god yeah russian russian's a language we've gone over before don't worry oh yeah yeah oh my god well when we when the party finally meets earl sinclair we'll be safe yeah yeah it's fine so um so so while we're figuring some of that out um okay okay um a lot's happened here oh yeah no shit oh yeah yeah a few things yeah a few things um the next customer approaches oh take a look at this guy it's a large muscular minotaur like individual with a bone mask carrying an urn with a rope uh bulging biceps veins atop those those bulging biceps kind of sneered face you know and welcome to uh what is this place she jabs tan hauser it's blows the scarab merchants uh trading post yeah blotus's scarab trading post place yeah welcome we have a business deal today if you are a member you can get um two two two six packs of golgotha mist uh for for the price of one i want water do we have that i have no idea uh look at vena do we have water vena the camera hands to mr rattle's face once again staring into the distance it's like one of those like transfixed in like a shock horror um that like music cue from kill bill starts playing as it focuses on his face water they say it is necessary for life but that is why life does not come in good no water here but we cannot disappoint the customer i know what i must do what friends yeah what i am about to do has not been approved of by any institution but my friend are you sure you want water yes are you ready to accept the consequences no matter what they may be for the attainment of this water mr rattle looks so proud yes the customer the customer says a terrible doom will approach you should you get what you ask for are you certain you're ready to accept that i i have this this urn can can you fill it or not point the urn towards me and brace yourself with all of your might okay okay are you ready yes i know exactly what you're gonna do i point at him i cast hydraulic push the pressurized water that pledges the target and knocks it back you wanna you wanna you wanna uh when i dropped yeah there we go there we go um here how about i how about i how about i do this i'm just gonna on uh on your airship i'm gonna put a tiny little token actually it's a bigger token you wanna wanna just target that token and roll yeah why not sweet i hit him okay that's you hit him you hit him roll damage please this is it at first level so it's mercifully probably not gonna kill this guy it's gonna be 12 damage ah it's small you are the walking miracle that has been spoken of by my people yes yes i i probably am i don't know if you're if your people are dinosaurs or relate to them in any way not like you're a water baker you're gonna get you're gonna get killed around here oh yeah i'm fucked yeah but uh you know i might as well ride this gravy train as far as i can i am here to free the land of golgotha from the tyrants for real for real fills it up and immediately turns like good luck with that bite and like awkwardly leaves as soon as you say that a bunch of people start turning away like mr rattle just just now has lost that look of approval oh probably shouldn't have said that too loud yeah maybe not i thought i like that i like that i hate the tyrants oh yeah the tyrants are terrible yeah they killed my family yeah no shit get alive yeah exactly right it's like they kill your family you can't even get mad about it because they do like 16 other things i know right and they do it to everyone yes it's like oh you killed your family well you know get in line yeah exactly yeah and you know what you stay around because you hate them and you want to kill them that's like that's like part of it though i know right that's how they get you yeah yeah yeah have you been away from golgotha for a while you've seen quite a while off yes yes you see i used to be the the right hand of a vandal warlord now you know eventually you you it's stage a daring escape you get your entire body blown up by siege artillery well spent a bit of time you know we went to college got into radical politics and here i am a lot of people get out of golgotha due to like scholarly reasons it seems well i mean that they flee the border yeah okay play them yeah anyway um i i i realize you should have probably mentioned it to you that we are a party of political radicals oh that's awesome as as you're you're saying this um a a woman approaches um she's fairly scarred wastelander woman her hair is buzz cut on one side uh the rest combed over there's like a grill plate covering one of her eyes um she approaches hello she's a deeper voice welcome to uh this fucking shop get the blotus trading place blotus the scarab merchant i haven't seen any scarabs yet though i'm i'm not here for that i'm here for the other thing you said ah you you uh you wanna you want postage it's in the back no she's a dinosaur obviously ah okay that's what a dinosaur is oh no no no not at all actually oh okay are you serious about your efforts of freeing this area toppling the tyranny here i will not lie to you my first focus is currently on the city of outset similarly beset by lesser but no less dangerous tyrants but once my duty is done yes global revolution is the only way any of us can be free i guarantee you the tyrant conquer will fall i mean you can eat people too b and she looks around i can tell you are charitable based off what you've been doing for mr rattle yeah no one's paid for any of the items they've taken i didn't even think about that it's that you're playing along oh my god yeah why do you think i stuck around what terrible is this yeah i i assumed you were you were just playing along he's he's he's very he's very advanced in age rare here in bogota and lotus employs him to to keep his mind going though he suffers from advanced dementia oh that would explain all of the strange yes we knew that and we were definitely playing along no one did a perception check no one since motive in this guy we trusted him with our lives and i still do yeah this guy tells me to do anything i'm just going to do one uncritically i think it it speaks to your kindness to go along with it all of you yeah this is what we call failing forward as a it's a great gm tool everybody you should use it in yours it's not a failing part this is up well i am part of a of a group we seek to although it is not golgotha we seek to overthrow the citadel of general dusk the massive that's fossil as as as those words are spoken um like it it's the equivalent of like tanhouser like here's the bump bump and like feel something in in in his like soul um this would be the equivalent of like i don't know heidelin starts talking to you um you you just feel this this moment of that place is important one of the three you're going to overthrow his citadel but one of the techno guard there are there are them and the dna troopers and you've you've contingencies to deal with them yes we have many people willing to fight i told everyone friends i apologize but we have no choice we must aid these people however we can uh sure yeah you'll get us a lead on the thing that we're looking for oren's mouth full of bread we're supposed to find do they have it i don't know if they have it all right hey can i do i need to pay for this i think he's eaten some of the bread no you don't need to pay for that that's very much for you we see we supply our staff with bread and water that is i don't work here customers get it too i spit it out no i found it it's mine now it's mine i brought it from home yeah we are seeking the protection of fire to rewrite the current lack of balance between the old powers since sealed away by the madness of outset i don't know about all of that but you look like you have a strong arm and your tree can send people away to some shadow realm that's the whole thing you don't want to hear about it and he's handsome so he can probably tell people what to do and they will listen true what do you do looks it's not i kill tyrants but you're like like like kind of makes like a side like you're just a you're just you're just a little girl you like i kill people i think of a rock and i bashed it their head in with a rock okay yeah well yeah what that ain't good enough for you a good old rock you know how long goblins have been beating people up with rocks you can contribute it's like the most conciliatory like don't worry little guy you're helping if i can kill if i can beat the massive with a rock i'm fine that's right sorry my amber alert is going off revolutionary detected in local store oh like everyone avoid the area yeah it turns out a bunch of uh wasteland raiders just killed a bunch of people man happens hey it's the goal of her i usually have just life in the wastes yeah regardless no matter how small you are you are still a member of our proletarian arms if you have the will and desire to strike down tyrants yeah i'm a pro yeah that i won't tear away your blade is what i was getting at thank you yeah yeah yeah whatever pretty guy i'm into it yeah um yeah uh i don't do much other than like beat people in with rocks and then steal their things and then like sell it but you know it's a living a respectable craft yeah yeah goblins typically follow you know the coolest biggest idea and she just motions out into the ether if we have a person who has the best idea we typically follow it and this idea to kill the massive yeah i'm on it most other goblins i know got killed by that guy it will be difficult you will have to traverse the vehicle wastes oh do you guys have a ride she mentions to everyone else we've got an airship but no land not a land ride yeah you don't want to ride airships too much over the dunes or else someone will shoot a harpoon into the thing and you know um yeah she does that yeah yeah nodding sagely yeah yeah bread you have no idea how the second you got that airship i wanted to do a drakengard meme where it's like we just got the airship here's all the unblockables wow we're gonna spin and then they just destroy the airship exactly exactly it's just gone it's just like you god i want to know in drakengard would you get to that point if you could just not progress to that other point where you just like actually go unlock everything isn't it like just the cut scene yeah so what happens is you get it and then they they change the mission loading sequence so it's like it shows you like the airship map and it's all these unlockables and you're like oh fuck i'm gonna have to do all these unlockables and like it like they do a whole interface and then the next scene they just blow the fucking thing up it's great 10 out of 10 yokotaro is an artist correct he's a special lad all right well then i think if you could get a vehicle or if you were willing to survive on foot we could use you at the gates well snot shoves a finger in inside of their maskius scratches their face uh and then looks back at everyone else you got a wagon or anything like not a battle wagon i'm not even talking like i'm vehicle that a motor wagon i'm talking like do you have a thing with wheels on it i got a motor you do yeah yeah how do you think i walk around well we still haven't had our we still haven't had our pizza party and we are co-workers so if you're willing to give us a ride yeah of course of course i will if i can if i can once again like you know i'm all for the for the unionization and everything goblins are big into that but like you know it's it's more along the lines that i get to kill the massive goblins are into unionization thanks to thanks to our ancestral roots connected yeah yeah goblins love unionization because it's all about the idea that we are always the workers meaning that what we want is to kill the guy that employs us therefore union is formed what's crazy is that wasn't the case when you walked into this store but now it is yes it's i around that is now yeah there you go why the privacy yeah retroactively it's been the case the entire time yeah truth oh my god are our goblins reptiles in my mind they are are they descendants of the dinosaur mr brattle approaches into the conversation we've never heard mr rattle rattling i believe you have earned it you have survived this long though only some of you have been displaced to time and space thank you rattle common occurrence for the daytime shift yeah at least it's not the nighttime shift you know i present to you you your pizza whoa what is this triple cheese thin crust why is that flat that looks good that looks very good i'm i'm you may each have one i repeat one slice and should there be slices remaining those slices shall be delivered in order of priority with the trainee receiving the last of the secondary slices are are the slices those like little itty bitty like tiny ones that they would give you at any like square cut pizza it's like a domino's it's a domino's thin crust pizza oran comes up do i get some yeah bird boy you are not an employee as you said i'll buy one pizza i am sorry my fellow employees the pizza party is cancelled the customer always comes first he has two whole pizza oh thanks oran will give everyone two slices and he only get one wow yippee you're all right with me bird boy you are such a sweetheart have a have a second slice of pizza oh i'm good i already had some bread oh that is true you you have been you have been having your bird snack wait a minute this is just bread you guys have been working really hard no the pizza's fine i had some bread i don't need one slice of pizza yeah but this is just bread it's just bread with red on it and cheese yeah that's pizza that makes it a pizza it's not raw it's not a pizza pizza raw there's no sand on it shut up does it go on pizza you nitwit i wouldn't know i disaffirm it's my first pizza pizza we'll try it and eat it and see what you think you know i you didn't wait you didn't do anything today actually you just sent this through time technically you actually quite a bit you impacted quite a few lives today i did because of me that society exists on time through you anyway i think that might be true um but no oren i'm so proud of you for doing something so so based and socialist it proves to me that you really have been reading my literature and taking it to heart yeah including the party where massacring the masses when they don't agree with you anymore to establish the government's dominance no you don't eliminate the masses you only eliminate the class we have a lot to cover but your spirit is good okay i like looking at the pictures that they taught me the most yeah the pictures are of that oh just imagine just about just like from your book and for your book eating the rich is the greatest reward for the lower class yeah eat them yeah yes yes trickle down economy must be the up from from the bottom up not the up down yeah i'm done eat them yeah he's kind of confused when he's got the spirit the working class should have all the money and the rich in the rich and the higher-ups should only have the less yeah kill the rich yeah they're not in the vines with the pickaxes they're in their comfy air-conditioned offices yeah yeah kill them yeah that's sort of what i believe did i invite that yeah power to the people crack it so he eats his pizza mr rattle mr rattle can i cannot can i can i can get over here for a second yes yes of course what this is she hands over her shirt to him mr rattle yes i quit however the wisest of us and i wish to eat but i wish to use my final cut employee discounts yes to uh to to rent you know it's it's too expensive to buy i wish to rent a wagon but i thought you said you had wheels yeah i i have the motor i don't have wheels it's different you know sure that's great that's that's perfect that's excellent i ain't got nothing else to say that's beautiful yes give me the wooden wagon yes you know what attachments can i or like a tarp i can do tarp we do tarp right yeah we can do tarp yeah we do tarp we'll have a tarp yeah put a tent on it yeah yeah all right yes of course yeah okay yeah i'll see all of you outside okay uh snot runs away on all four uh as as just crawls out at the garage style out of the of the building okay there goes my hero horrifying all right okay that's a goblin with a head on her shoulders for now true for now oh yeah i quit too let's all quit can we quit no you have to fulfill you have to fulfill the promise we did the bonus oh yeah oh i forgot okay never mind i unquit we're gonna do it we're gonna get it done what do we call does that mean he 10 houses the new trainee okay okay okay um what next there's a nuclear missile gonna hit the store what do you have for us next boss encounter rattle was a rock creature the whole time someone wants to pay with a check who does that i want to pay but i want to pay entirely in copper no ain't a seer my copper is legal currency your copper is fake i knew you disreputable copper merchant ass the second you walked in the store ain't us here all right all right all right the remainder of the work day passes uneventfully oh thank god you are finally relieved from your shift by mr rattle who dutifully collects your vests remember what you have seen here remember the experiences i remember you may you may call upon this in future times and each of you now has a one-time retail rattle point that you can turn in what for the remainder of this campaign each of you can remember back to this war you fought with your companions and turn it in for a natural 20 on one dice you roll oh my god the spirit of rattle i love that that i believe you you head outside uh to meet with snot is that correct yup yeah oran oran looks at his friends you're like you know what i learned during all that yeah to get out of work you just have to pretend you died that is the most valuable lesson one could have taken from that good job whenever i'm running into stuff that i don't want to do i'll just die yeah that if it sucks hit the dirt yeah that's how it goes that's how i quit my last job hey uh okay yeah do you want to describe what they see outside yeah so with a blaring foghorn uh all of you see a a large edifice it's like a walking uh totem of goblin kind uh it's essentially a walking machinery made out of trash that has been cleaned up shrubbed up and just bolted together it is obviously made out of like harvested materials rather than you know ah yeah let's build this from ground up and it has been made to look like snot's face with two legs and two arms and um and snot is sitting at the top of it and just pulls the foghorn uh latch again with a wagon attached to its back get in this is my sick ride holy shit yeah i made it and it's pretty cool and that is where we are going to end for today i cannot wait to ride snot's whipopotamus i know right oh my god there he is sorry nothing got stuck in time the gnome in time the temporal gnome of course we all hope you enjoyed this episode of rock grind first off we have to all like to thank thank salty for being a guest today thank you so much thank you salty salty where can they find you uh you can find me at salty job on any platform uh both on twitch and blue sky and on that one other website we don't really talk about but if you support narrative declaration you directly support me and other cool artists and of course we also have odo hey it's me odo i was bringing you vena the self swashbuckler you can find me at blue sky at otobytes you can find me on the discord at just odo you can find me in your in your dreams in in your heart in in your car i'm taking it it's fine taking your car it's hulky crow that's me i'm hulky crow you can find me over at twitch.tv forward slash hulky crow as well as on blue sky and x begrudgingly under the same username uh if you like this show remember to support the patreon and narrative declaration.shop if you like cool merch you buy it we get more pins are really cool yay of course we have speaker hi i'm speaker d you can find me at speaker d on blue sky and i just want to say it's so great to be here in beautiful golgotha and salty thank you again for guesting we honor you we honor you we honor you we honor you and of course we have our glorious game master thurston hillman you can find me in my dwarf fortress because i've started playing dwarf fortress and i don't think i'm ever going to escape i'm gonna be trapped in this dwarf fortress for forever uh now you can find me at all the things at on call gm as a reminder too um for those of you watching live i'm dating this episode now but um this weekend is a paizo con um so you can go uh check that out i'll be uh uh in and about the convention uh but also we have a little special special episode we yeah yeah which oddly enough um deals with um not retail but um i guess you know food services so if you really want to tie together all of the uh the the inner employee darkness we've we've got you covered uh but yeah all the things that i'll call gm yeah exactly all the things that i'll call gm uh and zorn take us away yeah and uh hey where can people find you zorn oh thanks for asking everybody you can find me at zorn the wizard away yeah uh you can find me at zorn the wizard.com they'll tell you everything about me i appreciate you come over say hi to my twitch streams and stuff just to keep me company just to keep the voices away greatly appreciate it along uh with supporting everybody here at narrative declaration over at patreon.com force us narrative declaration as a membership subscriber on twitch we're being a patreon all the other stuff so we can get everything as quick as possible before everything goes out to the public so thank you all so very much we will see you all next time so long farewell and goodbye why why why why no i'm in time we honor you we honor you