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Unreliable Vampire Narrator | Underworld Franchise Wrap-up · Potato Chip Pictures - A Podcast

0:00
This speaks I I'm going to reveal something that the
0:03
audience didn't need to know, but I'm going to reveal it
0:06
anyway. It speaks to the quality of this
0:09
franchise that we waited two weeks in our pre recording to
0:16
finally do the wrap up this. One, I mean, I don't know that
0:21
we're going to miss too much about the franchise.
0:24
I was trying to pick out some details that summarize it, but
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are you saying that it took us two weeks because the quality is
0:35
so low? That's what I am insinuating at
0:41
this point. I think it's I'm sure there's
0:45
other franchises that act the same way Somehow.
0:50
Whatever success they found, I feel like it translated OK.
0:57
Like sure I think that the money went down the further they went
1:01
through it but I don't know it. It feels like Twilight franchise
1:09
is horrible but people went and watched it.
1:14
See, and I never watched any of them.
1:16
So that would be a, if we ever did that franchise, that would
1:19
be one that would be totally new for me.
1:22
I don't want to man it. Just.
1:25
Just the bits that people have explained if the conflict that
1:29
kind of doesn't happen. I don't know if it's had that
1:34
way in the books, but it. The dream sequence.
1:36
The infamous dream sequence. Well.
1:41
I don't know. I don't know that I know the
1:43
infamous dream sequence. I just know that, well, they
1:46
face off and then nobody actually fights or something
1:49
like that. Yes, and that's what I'm talking
1:52
about because a friend told me when it was brand new, he he saw
1:56
it with his wife and he was so angry.
2:00
And he was like, you're never going to watch this.
2:03
I'm going to spoil it. And I was like, all right, fine.
2:06
And he was like, so they all face off and they start having
2:10
the most epic battle. It is so good.
2:16
And I'm just sitting here thinking, what is this franchise
2:20
like? Suddenly it is now paying off in
2:23
a way that I never would have expected.
2:26
And then I said out loud, I bet it's all like a dream or a
2:31
fiction. And then they cut to some like
2:35
some person on the vampire side who can see into the future and
2:40
they decide they can't have this fight because of how how many
2:44
people will die. So they don't have the fight.
2:49
And like, so in one regard, you do get to see an epic battle,
2:54
but it's not real and it's cut off.
3:02
Well, I don't know if it's true. I've never seen it and I'm not
3:05
going to look it up. So.
3:06
This franchise I think is a step above that where they actually
3:10
get into fights and people die. So I just think that it's of the
3:15
same cloth in terms of content. Like, OK, we're going to here's
3:23
a story. Maybe it doesn't make sense.
3:27
I don't know if there's as much contradictory lore in Twilight,
3:32
but maybe this one just kind of makes.
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I don't know either. I was starting a small list of
3:39
who do I like more than Celine. That's fair.
3:46
That's that's a good list. Hello and welcome to Potato Chip
4:02
Pictures, the movie franchise review Podcast.
4:06
My name is B Sammy Davis. Hello again, I'm Justin.
4:10
And today we are looking at the entirety of the Underworld
4:16
franchise. It is our Underworld wrap up
4:20
episode. Yeah, and I was reading the
4:27
Wikipedia because I just wanted to remind myself of the
4:31
franchise. And one of the things that it
4:32
said, this is the the second paragraph in the series,
4:37
received generally negative reviews from critics but amassed
4:40
a strong fan following and grossed a total of $539 million
4:47
against a combined budget of $207 million.
4:53
So it was profitable. It did well with its fans, and
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now we can add ourselves to that list of critics who generally
5:01
didn't like it. To make vampires a little bit
5:10
boring, just I don't know if it was it felt overpowered or
5:15
underpowered. They just felt like protagonists
5:21
that happened to never die. I don't know.
5:25
Do we see any of them and get staked?
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I feel like they fight, but none of them are like vampire staked.
5:31
Yeah. No stakes.
5:35
I think the only confirmed weaknesses are sunlight and
5:44
beheading, but the only one who even got remotely beheaded was
5:49
Victor who got be scold. But I mean, he could have
5:56
survived that. You never know.
6:00
He survived having his spinal column sliced right through.
6:04
You don't need that anymore if you're a vampire.
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Unless you're a younger vampire, I guess because of Blood Wars,
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where that villain died the exact same white.
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OK, we let's go through the scores this time around.
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You were the high score at a combined average of 3.9, so
6:32
still on the bottom end, but you know, almost to a four, like
6:36
just under an average, whereas I, you know, I was still in the
6:43
neighborhood of three. I just went 3.2 with mine and
6:48
that gives us a combined average of 3.55 for the show and frankly
6:58
the only one that got a 5 out of me was Awakening, which was just
7:03
so different from the rest of the movies.
7:07
I was trying to think through what was enjoyable because I
7:14
kind of think I wanted more of the weapon technology to to come
7:19
out because they've got the cool like Full Auto pistols that
7:25
somehow follow follow her through hibernation or what
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would you call when you're frozen.
7:35
I mean it is frozen like cryogenically.
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Frozen. Yeah, those ones, they stick
7:42
around. And her her outfit sticks around
7:45
too, but they had like cool other little throwing knives and
7:53
I think that could have maybe been been the high point for me.
8:00
Yeah, I I mean, we, I don't know if it's going to show up in the
8:07
the pre music, but we briefly talked about the other famous
8:13
werewolf versus vampire franchise that neither of us
8:17
have seen and that is the Twilight franchise.
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But that has probably more fans and I imagine it made more
8:28
money. I think it had four movies to
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their five. Didn't they split the last one?
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I felt like it was like a Harry Potter situation.
8:38
I think so and I don't know how many books there were, so I'm
8:44
I'm completely out of my depth in this situation.
8:47
Oh yeah, it's like they hit 3 point something billion.
8:51
Woo. 3.3 Dang yeah 5 films. That that one has kind of, for
9:03
better or worse, become the modern face of the werewolf
9:08
versus vampire saga, and that one had equal amounts of disdain
9:15
and disrespect for the original lore.
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Apparently it like these years are kind of lining up.
9:22
Underworld was coming out and Twilight was like 2009.
9:27
This is interesting. I feel as if that was around the
9:31
rise of the lichens. Vampire era of of the world.
9:37
Yeah, I mean, certainly in terms of television and and some video
9:43
games, I think there are small waves.
9:46
I don't know if we've ever had a really good vampire renaissance
9:50
because I'm remembering in the the mid 90s when you had a
9:54
couple of really good vampire movies come out and a couple of
9:58
really good vampire games come out.
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And then it just kind of died off.
10:05
And then they came back with with this set.
10:09
And, you know, I think you originally said something about
10:13
how these vampires didn't feel as powerful.
10:17
And I feel like their use of guns kind of detracts from
10:24
everything, where it's like you've got claws and teeth and
10:29
you're immortal and you are strengthened by blood, and yet
10:34
you're using ranged guns. Yeah, I think that was most
10:39
highlighted in the one that you like the most.
10:42
Where like that's awakening, right?
10:46
Because she's frozen. Yeah coming into the purge where
10:53
humans get the upper hand on apparently these millions of
10:57
vampires that infiltrated and existed in society when it
11:02
didn't really feel like that in the 1st movies.
11:06
I think you're right with the weapons being a thing.
11:10
I haven't read like Dracula or watched the Nosferatu that has
11:16
come out recently. I feel like vampires can be more
11:21
intimidating when they are reflected against humans.
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I guess because we're even just any extra speed, even just any
11:36
sort of magical movement makes them so close to biting your
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neck by surprise and, you know, getting their upper hand so much
11:47
more easily. I don't There's yeah.
11:51
Well, I'm sorry dude, I've interrupted, but there was a a
11:55
show called The Strain. I think it's it's not a great
12:01
show, but it's a brilliant premise.
12:03
And that premise is essentially a modern day Dracula story.
12:08
And it plays on the idea that vampirism is a virus.
12:14
These are the living dead. And when someone gets bitten,
12:20
they don't know that they are turning until it's too late.
12:24
And at that point they've become more like zombies, where they
12:29
can't think, they just hunt and they go crazy.
12:32
But over time they regain intelligence and become
12:38
vampires, but they're nothing like what they were when they
12:42
were human beings. They are definitely a new
12:47
creature and I I kind of wish there was more vampire media
12:54
that did interesting stuff like that and this one.
12:59
I don't know if anyone. Got turned, yeah.
13:03
Everybody is born into it, apparently, because vampires
13:07
have children, but we don't. Only where those are turned in
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this whole franchise, that's true.
13:16
Yeah, I think that's a that's a good highlight of what's
13:21
missing. Like if you can't make more
13:25
vampires, like, why are we purging them?
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They can't actually turn you. Yes, they drink your blood, but
13:36
apparently that's nothing. And they, they make synthetic
13:43
blood now? Yeah, they're contribution to
13:46
society. Yeah, well, that's just one
13:51
piece. I think maybe using vampires,
13:56
maybe you could have gone a different direction because I
14:01
think this franchise is interested in what would you
14:08
call it. The matrix.
14:10
Well, the matrix, yes, but also like monarchy, like bloodlines
14:17
and a little bit of like peasants versus the elite and
14:24
maybe maybe make maybe make something that's not vampires,
14:29
but because these just don't quite feel like if they're
14:35
sensitive to sun and that's used in the purge.
14:39
But do they? Oh yeah.
14:42
And then the werewolves do their one one good strategy of
14:46
knocking out the windows. With the most powerful weapon,
14:53
which, you know, fine. What?
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Like I spoke in defense of it, but I still don't feel like I
14:59
needed to. I hated that movie.
15:04
Yeah. You know, my 1000 foot view of
15:12
overall, what I think I hated the most about this whole
15:15
franchise is that every movie they are like, the lore is very
15:22
important. And then the next one will come
15:25
out and they'll be like this part of the lore is very
15:29
important. Forget everything else, but this
15:31
part matters now. And then they'll change that in
15:34
the next one and the next one. I just got so angry at how
15:40
little respect they had for their own lore that they told us
15:45
mattered. Yeah, it's very apparent in the
15:50
last one when there's Nordic vampires that have white hair
15:54
and there's a whole spiritual side of vampirism that we don't
15:59
get to see at all. Oh that breaks my heart.
16:02
Oh man, why you got to remind me that we never get to see the
16:06
Spirit where I. Am the worst part was this broad
16:10
area and it was like, well, here's the dagger that's a
16:13
little this little bit that is introduced in the last movie
16:18
will never ever get explained because there won't be a 6th
16:22
movie and could be interesting. I think the introduction of
16:29
lorries, like it's a nice thing to add to a movie, but to a
16:35
franchise it changes everything. Like the the pager for Captain
16:43
Marvel, like, oh, we never had to use this.
16:47
Hold on. Captain Marvel's coming.
16:51
I conveniently have it with me at all times, never once used
16:57
it, but now I need to have it. I'm fine whatever, and if we
17:04
ever do the Marvel franchise, you will quickly learn how
17:08
forgiving I am. But I wasn't as forgiving in
17:16
this one. And that goes to my second
17:20
criticism, and I already hinted at it.
17:24
I genuinely think that these guys really loved The Matrix.
17:30
Lynn Wiseman and Danny McBride, the original director and writer
17:35
for the 1st 2 movies. I think they were like, we can
17:40
do that. We can make a matrix, let's make
17:44
our own matrix, but it's going to be different.
17:47
We're going to have vampires and we're going to have werewolves,
17:50
and the vampires are the good guys, except they're not the
17:53
good guys. I think, I mean, I think you're,
17:58
you're right on that. I, I remember right.
18:01
The McBride guy was a lot of stunt coordination, at least
18:07
when I get clicked on his name. And I think in the first couple
18:11
of movies, it did feel like this is a nice vehicle for cool
18:15
stunts and cool gore and the costuming and everything maybe
18:22
set. But then I feel like the rise of
18:25
the like it's kind of could have done more with the actual
18:31
locations. Like here's a nondescript would,
18:35
here's a nondescript Cliff, but there's so many rooms on the
18:40
Cliff side that you can get to, you can't get to.
18:43
You just have to fall down really far when you escape the
18:50
vampires for no reason, but then they all show up and they are
18:57
running across like a a plane before they get to the vampire
19:00
place. I don't know why that one sticks
19:02
out, but that one, it's like, that's a.
19:05
Good point. They I didn't even think about
19:08
that. If I were to retroactively
19:10
change my score, that would affect it.
19:13
I didn't realize the magical terrain.
19:16
So I think it it may have that influence.
19:21
Yes, definitely from the matrix of the guns black plastic look,
19:28
but I do think it it excelled in stunts and blood and gore.
19:33
Like if I were to give it my If you're looking for this in the
19:37
movie, this franchise mostly has it for you.
19:40
Yeah, I don't know. See, maybe I think, and this is
19:52
one of those franchises where we would it is the pinnacle of
19:56
something where you would have to accept the direct to video
20:00
sequels. But Starship Troopers I think is
20:05
my favorite gore fest of all movies of all time.
20:10
It's a good one, I haven't watched any other ones, I think
20:13
I just watched the first one. The other ones are pretty bad,
20:16
but I oh man, I did watch a few of the direct video sequels and
20:21
then I think they went animated for a while with varying quality
20:26
and we can visit this one day and take a look at it.
20:29
But I don't like to me the first movie is the strongest 1 and so
20:35
I don't know if I want to go into something that I know is
20:37
going to be bad like just. To.
20:41
Yeah, but in this franchise, I'm genuinely glad that I got to
20:51
Awakening. That's that's the one that
20:54
surprised me. It was the one that had the
20:58
highest return in the box office.
21:01
So clearly audiences responded to it.
21:06
It is ridiculous. It's a future sci-fi post
21:11
apocalyptic world where humans are killing off the werewolves
21:18
and the vampires. Except no, the werewolves are
21:22
working in the government and the ground.
21:25
Yeah, but at the same time, it was so different than the
21:30
previous three. And on top of that, like we
21:34
finally had werewolves as the bad guys.
21:37
Oh, yeah. It it was a genuine surprise.
21:42
I like, yeah, average movie didn't do anything great, But
21:46
you know, I'm for this franchise.
21:48
I was like, OK, OK. Yeah, I yeah, I think it's that
21:57
was a nice surprise. I don't, I feel like it.
22:04
I'm trying to remember the plot of that one because she mostly
22:08
just wants to find Michael, but she's trying to protect her
22:12
daughter because it's taken. I feel like this one breaks from
22:17
that bloodlines and monarchy type thing or hierarchy type
22:23
thing where? This one had a revolutionary in
22:27
it. This one had a dude who was
22:28
like, bring down the patriarchy. Let's We must rise, Bry
22:33
Brothers. Rise against the lichens that
22:37
don't exist anymore. Like yeah, I'm trying to
22:40
remember if we was wanting to overthrow because the humans had
22:46
purged them, but like. Well, early on he was saying he
22:50
wanted to rise against the humans, but when it turned out
22:54
that it was the lichens who were secretly running something, he
23:00
was happy to rise against the lichens as well.
23:06
But yeah, and. And then, like a chump, he
23:08
becomes a royalist in the very next movie.
23:15
See, that's where I'm getting it from.
23:17
I'm like. It is.
23:18
It is obsessed for plot purposes on on the the first 3 vampires
23:27
it's all coming from a bloodline and my brother can't change from
23:31
a werewolf and like. These.
23:34
Yeah, and then we get to what, the Alexander guy who is the
23:42
originator of the virus. And it's like there's always
23:48
some sort of power play happening.
23:54
But Awakening is a little different in in following
24:02
Celine, trying to just wake up and process losing Michael,
24:11
gaining Eve and then trying to rescue them.
24:17
That's why I I kind of like, I kind of like that one for that
24:20
reason. It's funny because you gave that
24:22
one a three at the time you didn't like it.
24:27
Well, like that one. I like that reason of that movie
24:33
on this on this thousand. Fair, fair. 1000 foot
24:38
perspective, yeah. Well, that's one of those things
24:41
where like as I look at some of these scores, I don't know if if
24:47
I would give these movies the same score today.
24:51
But I also haven't rewatched any of these movies.
24:54
I'm just thinking about them and thinking maybe I was too harsh,
24:59
but at the time I felt like that was a fair score.
25:03
And so I, I've got to respect what it says.
25:08
And what it says for you is that the original movie is a 5 out of
25:14
10. And that was your top?
25:18
Yeah, I'm, I think it when you get to start off with the first
25:24
movie, you get a lot of leeway in, what's the word, pacing.
25:32
There's a lot of things that I probably wouldn't forgive the
25:35
second movie, which I think it still was like I enjoyed more
25:41
that they talked more because actually in the first one, they
25:44
don't really talk to each other, but apparently they're in love
25:46
with each other. Don't forget, but they're just,
25:51
they're kind of just two pretty people in love with each other
25:54
without necessarily having a 100% of the chemistry to back it
26:00
up. I'm I'm staring at a list of the
26:05
main characters with their pictures and it's like I there's
26:15
four people. Five.
26:19
The fifth one is kind of like, well, Marius would be my lowest
26:24
rated con I'm. Trying to remember who Marius
26:30
was. Last movie werewolf guy.
26:35
Oh yeah. Mostly because I've seen him
26:38
work in other things and it's like seeing Bill Nye in the
26:44
first one when he transforms from old and wrinkled to to full
26:50
vampire form and it's like wow we get to see an intimidating
26:56
vampire go through a a revival to get to whatever sort of power
27:04
set he has more power than Selene he.
27:08
Turns into a werewolf and then back into a person.
27:14
I think it's well, there's a couple of good actors and none
27:27
of them are the main 2 protagonists of that first
27:30
movie. Yeah, but I there are two actors
27:36
in that first movie that I genuinely enjoyed watching, and
27:41
that is Michael's Sheen. And oh crap, whoever plays
27:46
Victor, I forgot his name. Bill Nighy.
27:49
Thank you. Those two were so good.
27:55
Yes, I think that props up a lot of my 5, although I do think
27:59
Victor kind of downgraded in later ones because it was just a
28:04
little more. I think you call it vaudevillian
28:08
when they're just a little bit like twirly mustache, just kind
28:15
of not hamming it up. But the the the Dracula posture
28:21
of oh, I can't believe you betrayed me.
28:24
And Sonia, you're with a a lichen.
28:27
It's like, well. I mean, he hams it up in the
28:32
first one too. It's just he hams it up well, he
28:37
does it in a way that works so well, and it doesn't work as
28:41
well in Rise of the Lichens. No No 0.
28:49
But Michael Sheen is shockingly good as an action star.
28:55
Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, I don't.
28:58
See him really every like everything I had seen him in was
29:07
definitely not action related. I mean, you know, one of his
29:12
biggest roles recently is in Good Omens as the Angel and he's
29:18
very good in it. But then most other things that
29:23
I've seen him in, like he's not the big action guy, he's usually
29:28
the the bumbling funny guy. So yeah, I was kind of surprised
29:34
at how good he is. All that to justify my highest
29:39
score of that one because those those two specifically in the
29:42
first one helped the supporting cast around the what would you
29:50
call it the love interests. They then being there was good
29:57
and thank goodness that we didn't have to keep what's his
30:02
face from the first movie into the movie.
30:04
Second movie, very long. He gets all torn up by Marcus
30:07
once he wakes up. Oh, Craven.
30:10
Craven. Yeah, Craven is the the bat.
30:14
Well, he's the the creepy vampire who wants to get with
30:18
Celine. Then he's the traitor.
30:23
But it doesn't matter because Victor was also the traitor.
30:26
Like oh man the movie has style but it is so convoluted.
30:35
Yeah, yeah, I would say that's why my first one like second one
30:41
goes downhill, razzle like and dig downhill again for the the
30:47
main cast. I think of the last two, I think
30:52
Charles dance kind of, but I would probably put Samira above
30:57
him just because it the a little bit of the intrigue and then it
31:02
kind of gets hand waved away by wow, wow.
31:06
He's David is the actual heir to this coven and we're going to
31:12
we're going to serve the king. Their entire plan just gets
31:17
smashed. Oh man, oh man.
31:23
Every time I think about Blood Wars, it kind of makes me angry.
31:29
I'm kind of surprised that this particular franchise never had a
31:37
video game. I see comics, I see anime, I see
31:43
game. Oh, there is a video game.
31:45
There is one. 2004's Eternal World War was a top down shooter
31:54
for the PlayStation Two and the Xbox and PC-2. 1000 I.
32:01
Just never think about the Xbox and PC because I I don't usually
32:05
think about that. But you also found a collectible
32:07
card game. Something like that.
32:10
Oh yeah, 20 Oh, mobile video game maybe?
32:16
Oh. 2016. But we have, we have a few
32:21
novels, we've got comics. I I saw the anime there and I
32:25
was like, maybe I'll check out that just as a side thing
32:29
without having to read it because I mean I've heard good
32:32
things of like the cyberpunk anime that's on Netflix.
32:38
Yeah Cyberpunk and this one 2011.
32:42
I mean, you could probably do maybe some more things.
32:46
Oh, Part 1 is in 1890 with Celine, how they put dates on
32:53
it. Oh no, this is going to ruin
32:54
your life. Part 2/19/67.
33:00
Return to it. Yeah, 2012 for Part 3, because
33:05
it's after the events of evolution.
33:07
It's like, oh, OK, so we get more of that story, OK.
33:13
Good, my favorite story. Well, to be fair, that gives us
33:21
the day walking Celine because she drinks all blood.
33:27
Yeah. But I'm also going to say one of
33:31
the things that I found most interesting about Awakening was
33:35
the respect that it had for the fact that Michael or not Michael
33:43
Alexander Corvinus, he had been working in the background to
33:48
keep the secret of both vampires and werewolves.
33:52
And now he's dead. And so naturally the humans find
33:57
out like, and I, I remember being surprised by that at the
34:01
time. I don't even think the movie
34:03
realized that it did that. I think they were just like we
34:07
got to have a post apocalyptic thing and they stumbled upon
34:13
something kind of brilliant. Yeah, I.
34:18
But yeah, they also quickly got rid of the concept of age equals
34:24
power. Such a dumb idea.
34:30
I I'm just trying to think of how much would actually resolve
34:35
if you had a consistent universe.
34:40
Like. I don't want to imagine that the
34:45
third Dune movie is going to be consistent to the 1st 2:00, but
34:49
I feel like they're one to two of this newest Dune feel like
34:58
extensions of a story instead of kind of installments of a
35:04
vampire versus werewolf. Fight.
35:09
That's a great point. This this is a franchise of
35:14
installments that claims to be a connected story.
35:22
And I think that might be what makes me so angry is that
35:25
they're like, we promise this is all like a continuation.
35:30
Just forget some things from the last ones.
35:34
I was looking for other four film franchises and I was like,
35:41
I wonder if Lethal Weapon is like a four film franchise.
35:44
It's not, but I was rolling through that in my mind and just
35:50
comparing the main characters living through all of stuff
35:55
versus. Like.
35:57
One character kind of spanning all of these, I think.
36:04
Yeah, that. Man, you made me remember the
36:08
thing that makes me angry. The third prequel.
36:14
Yeah. The wonky timeline.
36:18
Like, we know that the war started first because that's
36:24
what they told us. Like the daughter died and
36:28
Celine was seen and she reminded Victor of the daughter so that's
36:32
why he turned her. But the reason Celine was even
36:38
around was because her dad was crafting a tomb for William, the
36:43
original werewolf, yeah, who had been captured at some point by
36:49
all three of the main vampires. But during the time of the war
36:56
they were in their sleep cycle of 11 awakened, 2 asleep.
37:02
Like oh I get so angry. And on top of that, the key
37:06
exists before William and his tomb are ever created.
37:10
Oh, it makes me mad. Yeah, that doesn't work at all.
37:18
Yeah, interesting. That's the one that really,
37:21
really bugs me. But whatever.
37:25
Whatever. I can't could you can't be mad
37:29
at it forever. Could you fix it with an
37:31
Underworld 6? What do you think?
37:35
Oh, see, I'm glad you brought that up because Kate Beckinsale
37:41
has said, let's see, how recently was it 2021 that she
37:47
would be interested in playing her character again.
37:53
For narration. Oh gosh, I hope so 'cause like,
37:59
she ain't getting any younger and that's the thing.
38:02
Like she'll have to be willing to recast for a fourth time.
38:04
This is. The this is the timeline as it
38:08
stands. Yeah, or we're jumping like 1000
38:12
years in the future because they do age, I think.
38:17
Yeah, well. Yeah, and like, I don't know,
38:19
maybe they are. If they're immortal, there's not
38:22
supposed to age at all. Like, I don't know.
38:24
I don't know how you could do it.
38:29
If if I'm honest with you, I would be OK with a 6th movie,
38:36
but I would want it to be a total reboot.
38:39
Completely new creative team, all new actors.
38:43
I do not want the original movie told again.
38:48
I want the concept picked up by someone who wants to try it
38:53
their own way. Yeah, I could see that.
38:56
I feel like there's a bunch of, I don't know what you call them,
39:01
revivals or remakes of movie starts.
39:06
I could see Underworld coming back.
39:09
I wonder how different it would look because we don't have a
39:14
matrix we have like Mission Impossible or something.
39:20
Yeah, or superhero style, all bright and shiny.
39:26
Yeah, I don't I don't know what style they would want to copy,
39:29
but frankly, I think they should try to copy the style of the
39:33
original, even though the original was a copy of the
39:36
Matrix. I think if you have someone
39:40
coming in and only looking at the original and being like, so
39:44
that's the style that I'm riffing on and you know, maybe
39:48
they do something entirely different.
39:50
They try a totally different look, or maybe they come up with
39:53
something really special. The bar that they have to clear
39:57
is yeah 3.55 so. It's it's not hard.
40:05
They can. They can hit this thing.
40:06
Just make a vampire group that acts like vampires and a lichen
40:12
group that acts like lichens and yeah.
40:16
Oh my. Gosh, have them try to both
40:20
achieve some sort of objective that they want either which way.
40:26
Like I don't know what would. I don't know if you need to go
40:30
to world ending if you just go with local trouble.
40:36
I agree, I don't even know if you need them chasing something
40:40
in particular. I think you.
40:42
I think you'd be fine with telling the story of the
40:45
animalistic werewolves constantly haranguing the
40:51
vampires and the vampires needing to go to war, needing to
40:58
organize and group up. Like, I don't know, maybe, maybe
41:03
you want to have vampires be isolationist and werewolves or
41:08
lichens be pack minded and because the the lichens are
41:13
coming after vampires they're forced to change.
41:17
Like they have to come together. I don't know.
41:20
I don't want to give free ideas away, especially bad ones.
41:24
I want to make fun of some of the cancelled rumoured projects.
41:29
I don't know, like with any cancelled project, until
41:34
something is on film, I don't know if you can really call it
41:38
like a project, but these were the things that that apparently
41:42
were in talks like people were working on these ideas.
41:49
I don't know if you remember the movie I, Frankenstein.
41:53
It was based on a graphic novel and that was the one that got
41:59
all the way to a screenplay where they wanted to do a
42:03
crossover with I, Frankenstein where Celine would just kind of
42:10
be a post credit cameo appearance.
42:13
Oh my gosh, what a bad idea I'm. Trying to remember a cameo like
42:21
she kind of cameos What at the end of the rise of Likens,
42:25
right? Yeah, she, if it's footage of
42:30
her, she's definitely only voice over.
42:33
But yeah, I think they have archive footage of her.
42:37
Aaron Eckhart I don't think I watched that one.
42:42
Yeah, I have never watched I Frankenstein.
42:45
I've never read the graphic novel.
42:49
I hear the graphic novel is good.
42:51
I don't know anything about the 2014 movie.
42:55
So then 2016 Kate Beckinsale announced that Wesley Snipes was
43:03
going to be returning to the role of Blade and there was
43:07
going to be an Underworld Blade crossover movie that was going
43:11
to come out and they just needed to get a Marvel to approve of
43:16
it. But then Marvel was able to get
43:19
all of the rights, or not all, but most of the rights to their
43:23
characters, and they they cancelled that one.
43:26
I don't think that's. I don't think that would have
43:30
worked very well. Yeah, yeah, I agree.
43:36
As I look at that one, I'm like, OK, they're both day walkers.
43:40
That's it. Like that's what they've got.
43:42
Like she hunts werewolves, He he hunts vampires, like they are
43:46
not allies. And then the final cancel
43:52
project again in 2016, the producer, this time producer
43:58
David Kern, said that there was work with the Resident Evil film
44:04
franchise to try to do a crossover and that that
44:08
conceptually works. You've got 2 strong female
44:12
leads. I think the kind of color scales
44:15
and what not kind of work too as from the Resident Evil ones that
44:19
I've seen, yeah. Yeah, like it would probably be
44:24
a terrible movie. Like the Resident Evil movies
44:27
are really bad, but they're fun to watch.
44:31
And I think Underworld plus Resident Evil also would have
44:35
been fun to watch. So like, of all of these
44:39
projects that I hear about, I'm like, you know what, Resident
44:42
Evil and Underworld kind of sounds good.
44:45
Let's look at that one again, maybe.
44:48
That's probably one that matches more of speaking about in the
44:51
beginning with like Twilight Bomb, the I don't know if you
44:56
how you even quantify it, but like the filming feels the same
45:02
like we want it to be. They're going more for horror,
45:06
but they still end up with slow motion kind of whites and blacks
45:13
and then guns and zombies. But this one is guns and
45:18
lichens. So I feel like that's that's
45:20
pretty Dang close actually. Oh, yeah, And, you know, they're
45:25
all undead, so why not? Like, I think it works.
45:31
Yeah. I, I think I would have, I
45:33
probably would have gone to see that one because I've seen most
45:36
of the Resident Evil movies, not the most recent ones.
45:41
I kind of fell off a few years ago, but I watched like the
45:45
first 5I. I was really into that franchise
45:49
knowing it was bad. I was like this is not good, but
45:52
I'm having a great time with it. I'm sure that it probably gets a
45:58
little bit better. I don't know if you've played
46:00
the games, but I I know that I miss some references to it,
46:05
like, oh, there's this character, like, okay, they
46:08
exist. I'm I'm imagining they exist in
46:11
the game. That's so.
46:13
I have not played many of the games.
46:15
I have played the very first one and that's it.
46:20
And I didn't even beat the very first one.
46:23
And so I know that there are some references, but it does get
46:27
to a certain point where I don't know if this is a reference to
46:32
like an earlier movie or to something in the games.
46:36
And I'm like, oh, I've kind of forgotten everything.
46:40
I I can't think of anything else to to say.
46:45
Oh, I've got tons more to say. Trying to think specifically
46:56
what lore makes sense about vampires in in your opinion.
47:05
Like from this franchise or just in general?
47:08
No, the ways of this franchise failed.
47:11
Vampires are. I don't think it needs to be a
47:14
big thing that they don't see themselves in mirrors, but I
47:18
think it's a nice throwback to what people think about
47:24
vampires. I absolutely agree.
47:29
Oh my gosh. I think the mirrors the
47:36
introduction of guns kind of betrays the immortal feel of
47:44
vampires in general. Literature will will allow that
47:50
its matrix influence because everything got hit by that.
47:59
Celine drowning in the very first movie because Michael
48:04
saves her by pulling her out of the water and doing mouth to
48:08
mouth resuscitation. But like, vampires don't
48:13
breathe. They're dead.
48:15
Like they're they're dead. They're dead.
48:19
Dead. It's, it's hard to, to
48:23
appreciate. So there's a, a pretty like, I
48:28
think it had three, maybe Four Seasons and it's based on a
48:31
comic book. There's this show called
48:33
Preacher and one of the characters in it, he's a vampire
48:40
and one of the best jokes in it is after a night of drinking he
48:46
gets picked up and taken to the morgue because.
48:50
He's. Dead I.
48:53
Haven't watched that, you can explain more.
48:55
So it's just a very good joke because he gets up and
48:59
everybody's scared and, and he's like, oh, you know, I'm sorry.
49:03
I that's why they say I'm dead drunk.
49:05
Like I just, nobody knows if I'm alive or dead until I get up and
49:11
like he plays it off but for a second I I had forgotten
49:16
vampires are dead. Like they don't do living
49:19
things, they don't breathe, they don't have a pulse.
49:22
Yeah, trying to think of any other things that I feel like
49:27
betray vampires because I do think that maybe not in the
49:33
first movie first maybe I don't recall anybody transforming into
49:40
vampire and or hybrid form from vampires.
49:45
Well, Michael gets to be hybrid. Yeah, his own special hybrid.
49:51
But I feel like transformation is a bit of like Dracula
49:56
literature type feel of vampires and.
49:59
Yeah, I think a couple of times Celine will have her eyes change
50:05
colors and she'll bare her fangs.
50:08
But it, I don't know if we ever see it happen as a
50:13
transformation because that is something that that I take for
50:18
granted in most vampire media is watching the teeth grow, you
50:24
know, But I can't remember if we ever see anyone's teeth grow.
50:30
I think they just bare their fangs and they're already
50:35
extended. Yeah, and the fangs and blood, I
50:40
feel like they kind of initially throw some reminder that they
50:48
have fangs and they drink blood and they make fake blood or
50:51
nothing, but like, you know, replacement blood.
50:54
But then. Oh man, they have.
50:56
They drink blood for sex, but they also drink blood to get the
51:00
memories. But if you're having sex, you
51:02
don't get the memories. I.
51:04
Guess so from stuff that I feel like you could add to a vampire
51:12
movie to stuff that I think they briefly touched on.
51:17
I miss the the over empowering blood sucker monster.
51:25
Like these are all pretty people, but none of them really
51:30
feel monstrous. There's a couple of like, yeah,
51:36
the lichens are more monsters than they are, and the lichens
51:41
are the good guys. Yeah, for most of the movies,
51:45
but you're absolutely right. Like my image of a vampire is it
51:52
appearing next to you, then grabbing your head, twisting it
51:57
to the side to reveal your neck. And you can't fight it because,
52:01
A, it's stronger than you, and B, it's probably hypnotized you.
52:06
And then coming down on your neck with its fangs and not
52:10
trying to be neat and tidy about it, but being animalistic and
52:14
tearing and, like, really getting in there.
52:18
And we, I don't know if we ever got anything even remotely close
52:23
to that. Like Marcus was kind of
52:26
animalistic in the way he would bite people, but I don't.
52:32
Everybody else seemed rather dainty about it.
52:35
Yeah, Victor's like, I think he might bite Sonia to get her
52:40
memories right. And it's kind of like.
52:43
He bites someone to get their memories.
52:45
Yeah, and I can't remember who. Or does he?
52:48
He pulls away, you betrayed, et cetera, et cetera.
52:52
Yeah. Well, and I'm like, I don't
52:54
think we got blood memory being a a reliable tool until the 2nd
52:59
movie. So I don't think Victor bit
53:02
anyone in the first movie to get their memories, but he might
53:07
have did. He might have gone through with
53:09
it in the third movie when suddenly blood memory was just a
53:13
perfect thing that you could. Have perfect memory.
53:17
There's anybody can do it. Not a confused.
53:21
Mishmash of memories, but absolutely perfect one to one
53:26
recreation of what happened. I mean, I think that's helpful
53:30
when you don't. Want to show everybody like tell
53:34
inform the audience of everything through dialogue.
53:39
But it is a bit different than the the reason that Victor
53:45
couldn't trust Celine in the first movie like well, sure,
53:47
memories are shot. I can't do this.
53:50
With your help, I couldn't. Solve the mystery.
53:55
You gave me nothing. Yeah, all right.
54:00
Give me. Give me more.
54:01
Give me more, what else? What else?
54:03
Nope, That's all I did actually. I wanted to.
54:07
And like we didn't. Really look at likings because I
54:10
I I I think I'm they're kind of more forgiving on that because
54:16
they they still use silver like yeah, other than that they the
54:21
transforming at will might be the only thing that is well
54:25
sure, I feel like they you get infected by getting bit.
54:29
That tracks from the first time I've heard of werewolves, but
54:34
transforming with or without the moon think that's the only
54:38
change but still like half right yeah, usually.
54:44
Well, I keep thinking of rise. Of the lichens where like in
54:49
Underworld they said that the most elder of the werewolves had
54:54
learned how to transform at will.
54:56
But then in Rise of the Lichens they wear these collars where if
55:00
they transform it, it will instantly kill them, suggesting
55:04
that they all right after their first transformation have the
55:09
ability to control control it even under a full moon.
55:14
I was like, oh that's irritating.
55:16
But otherwise I don't know. I they they were such a non
55:22
entity that it didn't really bother me as much because
55:26
they're barely in this franchise.
55:29
It's mostly a vampire franchise. But let's make the vampires
55:33
unique, OK? But sometimes you congregate
55:39
yourself so. That's all right.
55:44
Well, I think, I think we're ready to reveal the next
55:49
franchise. Unless you have any objections,
55:54
reveal away. All right, so.
55:58
We are doing one more prerecorded franchise, but of
56:03
course we didn't. We don't tell you guys what the
56:06
franchises are until this part of the wrap up episode because
56:11
you know, we want you. We want to punish you for for
56:15
wanting this. I don't know, I don't know what
56:17
I'm saying. The point is we've got it picked
56:19
out. We're going to start the reviews
56:22
and then after this franchise, we will be doing real time with
56:26
the rest of you guys. But we're excited to be doing
56:31
the Conan trilogy. We've got the original 80s
56:35
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan the Barbarian, followed by Conan the
56:40
Destroyer, and then we're going to jump to 2011's Conan the
56:45
Barbarian reboot with Aquaman. I always forget that actor's
56:51
name. Say I didn't.
56:52
Even really know that one was. Him I I haven't watched any of
56:56
these, but I never knew that it. Came out, I was surprised that
57:03
it existed. So I was just like, oh, that,
57:07
that's a pretty big name star to to have had a movie come out
57:12
that I didn't even know. Having the Rock in Scorpion
57:15
King. We'll see, yeah, but I guess
57:19
when the. Scorpion King came out like we
57:21
barely knew who The Rock was as an actor, like he was the
57:25
wrestler. But but it was his movie.
57:29
He was the star of that movie, Yeah.
57:34
So Conan, that's going to be our.
57:36
Uber masculine franchise. Now there is 1/4 Conan movie
57:45
that is based on the original books but it is not connected to
57:51
the film franchise. I'm interested in it.
57:56
One day I want to buy it and watch it because it sounds like
57:59
a trip, but it's not going to be part of this franchise.
58:04
We're only doing the original 2 movies and the reboot and
58:09
that's, that's going to be it. So watch it with us next week.
58:13
I don't know if you've got anything to say about Conan.
58:16
If you're excited for it at all. I I are the 1st 2:00.
58:20
Both Arnold Schwarzenegger, were they?
58:23
Mm, hmm, OK. I think I'm excited to to see
58:29
how much dialogue there is, how much explanation.
58:32
I think it has Darth Vader in a really long black wig.
58:37
But I've like I've seen the picture of that, but I've always
58:40
wondered why is that? So we're going to get to see all
58:47
of that. History.
58:49
I've seen the 1st 2 before. It's been a while.
58:55
I've never seen, obviously I've never seen the third one.
58:57
I didn't know the third one existed.
58:59
So yeah, I'm very excited to get to the third one.
59:04
I don't remember much about the first two.
59:07
I know that I watched them, but I don't remember them to be an
59:11
honest rating. Maybe you'll.
59:14
Bring up some memories and you'll be like wait I hated this
59:17
show. Or maybe I'll be like, you know
59:22
what? I'm going to the gym now.
59:23
I'm going to be spending the rest of my life getting swole.
59:29
I feel like it's going to be. Like he man and master of the
59:34
universe but I literally know nothing.
59:39
Is he a superhero? I don't know.
59:42
I mean, yeah, like. That's kind of a good vibe based
59:46
on the image that I'm looking at from the cover.
59:49
Like you've got clear bad guy material, you've got clear good
59:56
guy material and then you've got clear Uber buff hero.
1:00:03
So maybe it is going to be some like cheesy action thing with
1:00:09
with over the top villains but. We'll find out next week.
1:00:15
Arnold's other I think I did. Enjoy that one that he did where
1:00:21
he's like, AI think it's called Commando, right?
1:00:24
Yeah, yeah, I think I remember enjoying that one.
1:00:29
I know I've seen it and I cannot.
1:00:32
Remember anything about it? But I do remember, well, I don't
1:00:37
want to get into it. We'll we'll get into it when we
1:00:40
get into it. But yeah, next week we'll talk
1:00:44
about Arnold because, yeah, like we finally have a chance to talk
1:00:49
about the the governator. Like I'm excited to to talk
1:00:54
about this, this big muscley man from Austria.
1:01:02
All right, so if you enjoyed yourself and you want to help us
1:01:06
out, why don't you give us a a rating, a comment, a review,
1:01:10
whatever it is that your pod catcher of choice allows a
1:01:15
thumbs up. I don't know, give it to us.
1:01:18
We'll take it. We will be happy to have it.
1:01:23
Another really great way to help us out is to share the episodes.
1:01:27
If you knew someone who loved the Underworld franchise, send
1:01:32
them the first one. I mean, you can send them this
1:01:35
episode. That'd be a weird place to
1:01:37
start, but send them the first one and and let them go on this
1:01:40
journey with us. And then of course, if a whole
1:01:44
episode is too much, you can always send the shorts, which we
1:01:47
post to YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.
1:01:51
And then finally, if you have a franchise that you want us to
1:01:56
check out or if you just have a thing you want to say about
1:02:01
Underworld or any of these movies, when we come back to the
1:02:05
live episodes, we will read that.
1:02:08
Send us the e-mail at potatochippicturespod@gmail.com.
1:02:13
It's also in the description. And we don't have a sign off for
1:02:19
Conan yet. So I guess I'll do the the one
1:02:22
that we kind of adopted midway through until the next full
1:02:29
moon.