Latest / It's Mom O'Clock / EPISODE 39: If Your 90-Year-Old Self Could Talk to You Today… This Is What They’d Say

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EPISODE 39: If Your 90-Year-Old Self Could Talk to You Today… This Is What They’d Say · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Hey, mamas. Today's episode is brought to you by the Fortis Agency, a financial services firm located in the Bell Works building in Holmdel, New Jersey. We know that taking care of your family is your number one priority. And at the Fortis Agency, it's ours, too. That's why we're here, to offer simple, effective strategies to help you protect what matters most, your loved ones and their future. We won't dive into any complicated financial jargon here. Instead, think of us as your partner in building a secure, comfortable financial path forward for you and your kids. And here's something special when you let us know you found us through the Mom o' Clock podcast, we'll make a donation to the children's specialized hospital. So by taking a step to protect your family and save for the future, you're also helping other children in need. Please reach out to Michael Divisio with this email provided next M. Divisio@the fortisagency.com that is M. Divisio@the fortisagency dot com and mention mama Clock. We're excited to be a part of your journey. Hello.
• 1:14
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Is it Mama Clock yet? I am going crazy.
• 1:19
  Speaker A: Heck, yeah. It's Mama Clark somewhere. I feel like I have the biggest ick of myself right now. No one look at me.
• 1:45
  Speaker B: You. You're giving yourself the ick?
• 1:47
  Speaker A: Yes. Do you ever give yourself the ick?
• 1:49
  Speaker B: Almost every day of my life.
• 1:51
  Speaker A: But not every day.
• 1:53
  Speaker B: Well, you know.
• 1:55
  Speaker A: Hi, guys. Icky. I'm so icky I can't even speak correctly today.
• 2:00
  Speaker B: You know the word ick gives me the ick?
• 2:02
  Speaker A: Yeah. Michael hates the word ick.
• 2:04
  Speaker B: It's such an.
• 2:05
  Speaker A: He gave me the ick. The other day, we were at the coffee Zone. They were doing free massages there at the coffee place. They had, like, this woman giving massages. My husband went into the chair and got a massage, and that was ick. Ick. Because you just, like, went up to this massage line and, like, got a massage in the middle of a coffee shop.
• 2:21
  Speaker B: I kind of love that.
• 2:24
  Speaker A: That's why we need to trade husbands. Baba, don't stop barking. It's not the time. All guys.
• 2:28
  Speaker B: Hi, guys.
• 2:29
  Speaker A: Welcome back to Mama Clark. If you're new here, we're so happy you found us. Hi. And if you're a regular listener, you already know we love sharing things we genuinely love. So with that being said, I'm so excited to shout out someone I truly love and trust. Tan by Fran. Say it again with me. Tan by Fran.
• 2:51
  Speaker B: That's very Catchy.
• 2:53
  Speaker A: Very catchy. If you know me, you know I'm very particular about anything going on my skin. You know that. And what I love about Fran is that every single tan is completely custom mixed for your skin type. It's not a one shade fits all situation. She really looks at your undertones, your event, how dark you want to go and everything is tailored to you specifically. Love that she's both mobile, which is amazing for busy moms or event preps. And she also has an in home studio in East Hanover, New Jersey. So you can either have her come to you or go to her, whatever fits your schedule.
• 3:24
  Speaker B: Wow.
• 3:25
  Speaker A: And as a mom, we know that is what's needed in this life. She primarily serves Morrison Essex counties. So if you're local, you have zero excuses not to get a glow. And let me just say this, she's the best. She truly, truly is. I don't gatekeep good things. I really don't. I love to share. So if you want flawless, natural confidence boosting tan, use her period Tan by Fran. Tan by Fran. You can book her by dming her on Instagram at tanbyfran or email her at tan buy Franchesca mail.com you can find that email in her bio on her Instagram page. And make sure you mention mama clock for $10 off your first tan. Trust me, book the tan. You need it.
• 4:12
  Speaker B: You pasty, the pasty, winters.
• 4:16
  Speaker A: That's all. Moving on.
• 4:19
  Speaker B: Do you know what is worth my time?
• 4:21
  Speaker A: Why would I put my iPad over here? What is worth your time? Tell me.
• 4:27
  Speaker B: The skylight calendar.
• 4:29
  Speaker A: I've been telling you to get the skylight calendar for three years.
• 4:33
  Speaker B: I know, but. So I got it for Christmas. We set it up, but I've never used it so much.
• 4:38
  Speaker A: Are you actually. Because I don't use mine at all.
• 4:40
  Speaker B: No. When you start to have your kids being a little bit older, it is. It keeps me organized. I am an ex ABA behavioral therapist. I used to use so many behavioral charts. I would laminate, I would pick big poster boards for my kids. Stars, stickers, all the things. Throw that out the window. The skylight calendar has it all in one big nice bright lighted, giant iPad looking thing. And my kids love it.
• 5:08
  Speaker A: They could do it themselves.
• 5:09
  Speaker B: They do it themselves. They have tasks. They have like when they, when they finish a task, they love pressing it because if they get like the, like I did it and stars explode and they're like I did it. Like they have never wanted to make their bed, brush their teeth, do all the things more than Getting a skylight calendar. It is worth my time.
• 5:27
  Speaker A: I love that. Is it on your wall or is it on your counter?
• 5:29
  Speaker B: We have it on our counter because we didn't get. People put a big one on their wall. Yeah, they have the really big ones.
• 5:34
  Speaker A: Yeah, but it's full.
• 5:36
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 5:36
  Speaker A: So that's worth their time.
• 5:37
  Speaker B: Truly worth that.
• 5:38
  Speaker A: Mine's sitting there. It's just like a picture frame right now. Because it was chores for my husband. Like this together. Do this. Make sure you do this. And he was like. Because you can also connect it to your phone.
• 5:48
  Speaker B: Right.
• 5:49
  Speaker A: So you can look at it on your phone. And he just stopped checking it. So he was like, I still use my calendar.
• 5:53
  Speaker B: Yeah, we.
• 5:53
  Speaker A: But I don't have sports going on or any of that.
• 5:55
  Speaker B: No, we have it connected. And also it's really good because it's color coordinated so every. Each kid has a different color.
• 6:01
  Speaker A: I agree.
• 6:02
  Speaker B: I could put their. All their dance soccer, all their things in one. And it's really amazing.
• 6:07
  Speaker A: I love that.
• 6:08
  Speaker B: Worth my time.
• 6:09
  Speaker A: Good for you. Do you want to know it's worth my time?
• 6:10
  Speaker B: Yes, I do.
• 6:11
  Speaker A: So this magnetic self light that I got from TikTok shop, okay. So it's called the Y L C brand. It's Wiley C. That's how you pronounce it. That's the brand of the magnetic light. And it magnetizes on your phone and it adjusts so it can go high or low, and the light is perfect. It adjusts, like, different light shades. So if you're in the car, if you're in a restaurant, it gives you, like, that bright light that you need.
• 6:35
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:35
  Speaker A: And it, like, makes the pictures of the videos so much better.
• 6:38
  Speaker B: You know what's so amazing? I always thought those lights were, like, gimmicks. Like, it was so stupid. But watching you, an influencer, when she puts that light on, I'm like, do I have a filter on my face?
• 6:48
  Speaker A: You always say that. You're like, is that your face? I was like, that's my face.
• 6:51
  Speaker B: Yeah. No, the light does it.
• 6:53
  Speaker A: So I just feel like it's a travel selfie light for content creators because I don't want to lug all my content shit. My lights, my.
• 7:03
  Speaker B: You have a whole lot.
• 7:04
  Speaker A: All my gimmicks that I need for, like, my content on the. On the go. And this light folds up perfectly. It fits in my pocket. I can even keep it on my phone if I want because it's magnetized and I feel like it's just good for the brightness. Like, if you like I said in cars and restaurants, if you're in a specific place, but it doesn't have the natural lighting that you need.
• 7:21
  Speaker B: Right.
• 7:22
  Speaker A: It works. And you can. It's adjustable. You can rotate it. You can face it for your out camera, you can face it for your inside camera. I mean, you can. And. And then the best part about it, there's a mirror on it. So if you're taking a video with that, with the back camera.
• 7:35
  Speaker B: Right.
• 7:35
  Speaker A: You could see yourself so you're fit into the camera, you know what you look like. Or if you want to, like, fix your lipstick or, like, fix your makeup before you film. Boom.
• 7:43
  Speaker B: Not many of them have the mirror, right?
• 7:44
  Speaker A: No, not any of. I have used.
• 7:46
  Speaker B: Oh, that's really cool.
• 7:47
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's awesome.
• 7:47
  Speaker B: It has the battery life.
• 7:48
  Speaker A: Great. It lasts a while. I've had it for, like, seven days and I haven't had to charge it yet.
• 7:53
  Speaker B: Oh, that's.
• 7:53
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's great. And the best part, I feel like, is how small it is. I feel like it's such a game changer. And it folds up and fits in your purse, your pocket. And I said, you can also keep it on your phone if you wanted to. So I just feel like it's so worth my time for content creating and what's it called? That's really weird to pronounce. Wiley sees the brand. It's a magnetic selfie light.
• 8:16
  Speaker B: All right, we'll tag it.
• 8:17
  Speaker A: Yeah. And that's all I have to say that's worth my time this week.
• 8:21
  Speaker B: I love that. I feel like an imposter.
• 8:24
  Speaker A: Why?
• 8:24
  Speaker B: Because my hair's up.
• 8:26
  Speaker A: I've been trying to. We were on episode, I think 40, is it?
• 8:30
  Speaker B: No. Something like that.
• 8:32
  Speaker A: It's been a year, and I've been trying to have her do this podcast with her hair up, and she refuses. I think she looks so good.
• 8:37
  Speaker B: So my hair.
• 8:38
  Speaker A: Mine's in a bun with a scrunchie.
• 8:39
  Speaker B: My hair's never up, but the reason why my hair is never up, because it's. I have big ears, but this is covering my ears.
• 8:45
  Speaker A: Perfect. So all you have to do is wear headphones.
• 8:47
  Speaker B: Walking around beats headphones. I just need to shout out our husbands for one second.
• 8:52
  Speaker A: Okay, go ahead.
• 8:53
  Speaker B: I'm just really grateful for them because Mama Clock wouldn't be anything without them.
• 8:58
  Speaker A: I mean, it wouldn't be anything. Nothing, period. Zero.
• 9:00
  Speaker B: Like, they. They really. I mean, they support us, obviously, financially, but they have been supporting us from day one. And we really appreciate you also being a buy.
• 9:11
  Speaker A: Shit.
• 9:12
  Speaker B: Because why are you no, we need to expense iPads. Thank you. I had to do eeny meeny miny mo of what iPad mic I could take from.
• 9:20
  Speaker A: Mine doesn't even hold a charge, so it's going to die in 30 seconds.
• 9:24
  Speaker B: All right, let's get into it.
• 9:25
  Speaker A: Let's get into it. The other day, what are we talking about today?
• 9:28
  Speaker B: I was thinking about something and most of us who are listening, we're in the thick of it, right? Like we're a bunch of moms, dads, whoever's listening, raising kids, trying to keep marriages strong, figuring out careers, paying bills, running from one responsibility to the next. Tiring. And everything feels like heavy. And it really matters. The laundry, the emails, the teacher meetings, the arguments, the pressure to do everything right. But then I went to my grandpa's 90th birthday party this weekend.
• 10:01
  Speaker A: I love that.
• 10:02
  Speaker B: And I was thinking, what if our 90 year old selves could sit across from us today? What would they tell us? What would they say actually mattered? And what would they tell us to stop worrying about immediately? So we decided to do something really special. And between me and you, we actually have five living grandparents.
• 10:23
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 10:24
  Speaker B: You have four, I have three and you have two.
• 10:26
  Speaker A: Oh yeah, I have two.
• 10:28
  Speaker B: And we asked our nine year old grandparents five questions about life. The questions were about happiness, about regret, about time, and what actually matters in the end. And their answers honestly changed the way I thought about a lot of things. Because when someone has lived almost an entire century. Can you imagine a century living almost a century? No. Their perspectives cuts through a lot of the noise. So today's episode is about something really simple. What would your 90 year old self want you to know right now? And we're just going to get into it.
• 11:03
  Speaker A: Let's get into it.
• 11:04
  Speaker B: All right. Question one, we asked, what is the key to a long, happy life?
• 11:09
  Speaker A: So we're going to start with, it's basically going to be like letters from our grandparents, like their responses. So it wasn't like Q and A. It was kind of just like you're writing a letter and you want people to know and people are going to read it years down the road, like what would you say? Type of thing. So you did it with all three of your grandparents? I did with both of mine. I condensed it just so I can get the point across.
• 11:30
  Speaker B: Right. I did too.
• 11:31
  Speaker A: But I feel like our grandparents make us who we are.
• 11:34
  Speaker B: Oh yeah. And we are so, so, so lucky to still have so many of us.
• 11:38
  Speaker A: So lucky. And I feel like after, because I wasn't able to get my one grandma's response because she's in a nursing home. But I did talk to my other
• 11:46
  Speaker B: grandma
• 11:49
  Speaker A: and it just like, and I think about them daily. I'm like, I wish I can see them daily. I wish I could talk to them daily. And I do pick up the phone, I do call them, but time has, time goes by so fast. Like, and I've been sick for the past two weeks, so, like, I can't go see my grandma in the nursing home and she wants to see me. She misses Gio. She, you know, and I just feel so guilty not being the best. I feel it and I don't want to regret that. God forbid they pass, right? Not living up to the potential that I can be as a grandchild. And I'm going to do a better job.
• 12:22
  Speaker B: I know. I am too. And I think, I don't want to cry, but, like, it was so nice to see my, my grandparents live in Florida and in South Carolina. But it was so nice to be together with everybody. And time is so precious, especially when you're 90, right? Like, time is flying.
• 12:37
  Speaker A: I can't imagine life without them.
• 12:39
  Speaker B: No. And like, we've had so many years with them. It's like, but like, also, like, these are obviously, they're way closer to the end of their life than they were to the beginning of their life. And like, so these years are even more precious and they matter more. And their words, when I ask these questions, I really hold them true to my heart. Like, I, I, it was really special to have this opportunity to talk to them.
• 13:02
  Speaker A: And it's, and just one more thing before we get into the letters. I just feel like I appreciate my grandparents more than I, I, I say, I feel like no one says it, but I really, I, like, I think when I say I think about them daily, I really do. Like the other day, because you, you kind of are in this stage of life where they're older, right? So one of them is a nursing home. One of them, you can't leave the house as often because, I mean, she's 95, so it's, it's, it's difficult. Right. So you kind of are starting to just remember this part of their life, right? So I'm trying to navigate my brain to remember the 30 years I had with them.
• 13:36
  Speaker B: Right.
• 13:37
  Speaker A: And I, I just, like, think about all the times, like, one time I didn't feel good. I, like, had such a stomachache and I used to struggle harshly with my stomach, like way back when. And no one was at my parents House. I called my grandma, and my grandma came over. And I remember her sitting bedside with me as I'm screaming, crying. Like, I went to the hospital that night. That's how bad I was in pain. And my grandma's, like, sitting next to my bed, like, telling me, like, just giving me and saying these words to me that'll make me feel so much better. And, like, the fact that I can't do that anymore, call my grandma to come over, makes me, like, physically ill. And I'm like, I just. Like, I just. Like, they were. They were. Like, they just took care of me my whole life. And I just. Like, I was so lucky and blessed to have the grandparents that I did. And I don't. I don't want to forget that. And not that I do. I just feel like I'm in this stage of life where I don't see them as often. I don't talk to them as often. They're sick. Who doesn't feel good? One has dementia. Like, I just don't. I don't like it. And it really upsets me that they're at the end of their lives, and I don't want them to ever go. Like, I can't even imagine them going, like, I don't know. I don't know what I would do. Like, I really don't. And it just. It's.
• 14:50
  Speaker B: It.
• 14:50
  Speaker A: You have to think about, because I don't even like to say it. The worst can't even come out of my mouth. Like, they're eventually going to pass, right? And, like, they're the core of our family. So it's like. And I hate that they're ones in a nursing home. One's like, not. I just don't like it. I don't like the feeling at all. I really don't.
• 15:06
  Speaker B: I know it's. It's sad, but also, like, we are so lucky to have that. Like, I. I've had grandparents that I was very close with that also have already passed. And just to have this time and to talk about all these things that we're about to talk about with them now, it's like, okay, so we have to. We have. Like, I want to call them more. Like, I want to talk to them more. And my grandparents, they're so alive. Like, they're not 90. Like, to me, they're literally, like, 60. And to them, they're 18. Like, they feel so. So young. I love that they're still. They're active. They do the things they love doing. Like, they only want to hang out with young people. Like, my grandpa said something so funny. He was like, I fucking hate old people. I go, grandpa, you know you're 90. He goes, no, I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with 90 year olds. Like, 90 year olds, they're talking about their pills and doctor's appointments. Like, I don't want to do that. Like, I want to be out mowing my lawn singing songs like. Like, doing, like. And he loves, like, being around young people. And I think that was one of the things that he said that hit so hard. She was like, if you surround yourself with younger people and, like, that mindset, I think you stay younger. Yeah.
• 16:12
  Speaker A: It keeps you alive.
• 16:13
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 16:13
  Speaker A: So let's get into the letters from our grandparents.
• 16:16
  Speaker B: Okay. So the first thing I asked was,
• 16:19
  Speaker A: so tell me which grandparent and how old they are.
• 16:21
  Speaker B: So I have a Grandma Linda, Grandpa Shali and Pie and Grandma Linda, she's almost 90. I don't. I think she's like, 80s something, but she's. She's with it. And she is so cool. So I asked her, what is the key to a long, happy life? And her answer started with something powerful. She said, acceptance of what is. She said, too much of time in life is spent complaining about things we cannot change. You can influence things slowly, like your relationships, parenting, activism, your personal choices, but worrying about everything, that's wasted energy. And her most powerful line that she said was, bring your truth to the world. Don't let the world define your truth. And I thought, like, she's a very spiritual woman. Like, all of her answers you'll see are, like, very spiritual.
• 17:08
  Speaker A: She's an avid listener to Mama Clock, too.
• 17:10
  Speaker B: She is an avid listener. All my grandparents are, so shout out to them. I love you guys so much. But her, she really, like, feels within. Like, she sees everything through love and light. And, like, she is just like a very, like, spiritual, happy person. And I really admire that about her.
• 17:27
  Speaker A: What was the second question you asked her?
• 17:29
  Speaker B: Um, the second question I asked Grandma Linda was, what is the most important thing you've learned over your lifetime?
• 17:35
  Speaker A: We all asked our grandparents the same questions, by the way.
• 17:38
  Speaker B: She said, listen carefully when people speak because they are telling you exactly who they are. She said, the most important things are to be kind, to be compassionate, be grateful, see through the eyes of love, and never judge someone because you don't know the life they have lived. And I. I'm gonna take that with me, because you cannot judge people. The next question I asked her was, at 90 years old, what actually matters in life? And her answer was simple. She said, love and acceptance. Relationships become easier when you stop trying to change people, which I thought was interesting.
• 18:19
  Speaker A: Relationships become easier when you stop trying to change people.
• 18:22
  Speaker B: Yeah. She said, I don't need anyone to be different than who they actually are.
• 18:29
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:29
  Speaker B: So she takes people as who they are. Yep. Next question. I asked when life felt the fastest. She said between her 20s to 35,
• 18:40
  Speaker A: she have all her kids then?
• 18:41
  Speaker B: Yeah, she had all her kids then. And she just felt like life was, like, super chaotic and crazy, and I can totally relate to that. And then she felt like it sped up again when she turned 50, and she started to really know herself. And life just got faster and faster as the time went on. And she says something so funny where that she judges the time by how many vitamins she takes. Every time she lays out her vitamins, she feels like another day went on. It's just like, that's how fast time is. And my grandpa actually said the same thing. And they didn't know each other's answers. The next question, the last question we asked was, what did you worry about? That didn't matter. And her list was long.
• 19:22
  Speaker A: It doesn't matter now.
• 19:23
  Speaker B: It doesn't matter now. Right. Things she spent years worrying about that really don't matter now was her body image. Hello. Pleasing people, her career status, what others think of her, and filling every moment up instead of just relaxing and chilling out. She realized most worries come from the ego needing approval, which I thought was interesting because. Well, most of all, my worries are because, like, I don't like something about myself or something. Like, I did. And those were all her answers.
• 19:59
  Speaker A: That was good answers.
• 20:00
  Speaker B: She ended with this that I think was really powerful, that love is always the answer and judgment is the anti answer.
• 20:09
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 20:10
  Speaker B: So everybody should love more. Yeah.
• 20:11
  Speaker A: And less judgment.
• 20:13
  Speaker B: Less judgment. Yep. Okay. You could talk about your grandma now.
• 20:17
  Speaker A: Okay. So I have two grandparents, and I'll start with Grandma Grace. I feel like most people know my grandma Grace. She's my dad's mom. She's a hoot. Like, when I tell you she's still kicking it, wearing heels, shaking her coolie. Like, this is where I walk into a room, and everyone's like, oh, you must be Grace's grandchild. Like, I get my personality from her. I am her. We are. Yeah. Everyone always says in our family, like, we resemble each other so much. And she's still like that at 94 years old.
• 20:49
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:49
  Speaker A: People don't. And also, not only that, she's stunning. Like, you're like, People see a picture of her, and they're like, your grandma's 94 years old. And I'm like, yeah. And that's where we get our genes from, right? Like, that's where we get our genes from.
• 21:00
  Speaker B: Like, I told my grandma, she was like, do you got Botox? And I was like, yeah, grandma. You never got that. She's like, I once put, like, these patches under my eyes. I was like, you actually look so good. Like, yeah. Like, my grandma is built different.
• 21:13
  Speaker A: Like, they're just beautiful.
• 21:15
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 21:15
  Speaker A: But 94 years old is a beautiful life, and she's still with it. Like, she might not think she's with it, but she's with it. Like, witty and with it, and we love her to death. So we asked, or I should say I asked the same questions over the phone to my grandma. I feel like if I was in person, the answers would be a little bit more different because it's hard to comprehend what I'm doing right over the phone. So remind me of the first question that I asked. I don't have the question. Just, I did it.
• 21:41
  Speaker B: The first question we asked was, what is the key to a long, happy life?
• 21:46
  Speaker A: Family is what she said. She said, a long, happy life. Nothing else matters besides your family. And don't forget it. It's like she was point blank. She was quick. She was like, okay, next. I was like, all right, next question.
• 21:56
  Speaker B: That's good. That's good. The next question was, what is the most important thing you've learned in your lifetime?
• 22:04
  Speaker A: I love this one. She said. She said the most important thing that she learned in her lifetime is to always smile.
• 22:10
  Speaker B: No, I love that.
• 22:10
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, even if you're feeling a certain way, just smile. Yeah, life is life. Just put on a smile. Whether you feel the smile or don't feel the smile, your body will eventually feel the happiness. So just smile.
• 22:24
  Speaker B: Okay. I like.
• 22:25
  Speaker A: So I love that.
• 22:26
  Speaker B: That at 90 years old, what actually matters?
• 22:31
  Speaker A: She goes. So I said, obviously at 94, like, what actually matters? She goes, being this age sucks. That's what she said. I go, I know, Graham. I feel you. She goes, I'm restricted. I can't hold my great grandchildren. She's like, don't take each day for granted, because one day you're able to do jumping jacks and bend to the ground and get up, and the next day you can't. So she said, you know, it's hard watching her children. Children have children. So her great grandchildren and her sometimes not being able to take care of them.
• 23:06
  Speaker B: My grandma Said the same thing, especially because we were all together. She was like, you don't know how bad. I just want to, like, pick up the babies and, like, go on the floor and do. And do all these things with them, what I used to do with you. And, like, our bodies just don't do that anymore.
• 23:18
  Speaker A: I was always with my grandparents. Yeah. I was always with my grandparents.
• 23:21
  Speaker B: Yeah. So it's sad like that.
• 23:23
  Speaker A: Like, when you're ever, like, sick or injured and you can't do something, like, imagine feeling that way every day of your life. Yeah. I mean, old age, it's terrible. So she was just saying, like, don't take each day for granted, because you don't know when it's going to kind of be responsive. Restricted. What was the next question? Oh, the.
• 23:38
  Speaker B: When did. When did life feel the fastest?
• 23:40
  Speaker A: So for her, she said, like, 50 to 60, because my grandfather passed at 45, I believe, so my dad's dad. So that was a timeline of, like, 10 years where she feels like it flew by because. Tragic. Not tragic because he had a heart attack, but kind of like he died at a young age. And she lost her husband, and she kind of had to figure it out with three kids and. And, you know, he ran a union at the time, so my dad had to take care. Take care of the union and run that. So she felt like life went by so fast because everyone was doing a million things, and she kind of had to rely on so many people. So she. She felt that it's crazy. And the last question.
• 24:21
  Speaker B: The last question. What did you worry about? That doesn't matter now.
• 24:23
  Speaker A: Yeah. She said, wait. She's like, I'm always worrying about my weight, even at 94 years old. She said today, it. She goes, it. I don't care about my weight no more.
• 24:34
  Speaker B: Eat the fucking pasta.
• 24:35
  Speaker A: She's like, appearance has always been important to her. Like, that's where I get it from.
• 24:39
  Speaker B: Like, yeah.
• 24:39
  Speaker A: Even to this day, like, appearance matters. She still gets her nails done. She still gets her hair done. She does all that. And I feel like that's just the lifestyle she grew up in. So appearance matters to her. She don't. She goes, I'm not dirty. She goes, I shower. I go, I know you're not dirty. You know, your grandparents, like, take the question out of contact. I'm like, grandma, toilet, you dirt. Right? Yeah. And she's like, my appearance matters. But she's like, I don't give a fuck about my weight anymore. I'm done. She. She has a physique. They Used to call her. She's gonna get mad at me for telling people this. Gracie Hot Pants. And the PTA meeting, she still walking with heels. She had a big coolie and a small waist, and she just. They used to call her Gracie Hot Pants. So parents matters. But she said it on the weight.
• 25:16
  Speaker B: I love that. Yeah. It on the way. Eat the pasta. Eat the pizza.
• 25:20
  Speaker A: Yeah. Which I love. Love that. That was Grandma Grace for you.
• 25:24
  Speaker B: All right. I'm gonna give my two grandpas their shout out because they love. They. The one that we celebrated the 90th, he was like, you're gonna make this whole podcast about me. And I was like, grandpa, it's not always about you. It's not always about you. But, yes, a little bit about you. I love him to death. He is my. So my grandparents are. I have. Do I have to tell the story?
• 25:43
  Speaker A: You don't have to tell the story.
• 25:44
  Speaker B: No, I don't tell the story.
• 25:45
  Speaker A: But one day we'll tell the story.
• 25:47
  Speaker B: But this is for PI and his. He has quick answers. So the. What is the most important thing he's learned was to try not to hurt people. Because sometimes sorry comes too late. And he said something interesting where, like, if you say sorry to someone, you're making the other person feel better, but sometimes, like, the guilt will stay with you. So he said that some. In some things in his life he said sorry for, but, like, he's still living with.
• 26:16
  Speaker A: So how do you fix that?
• 26:17
  Speaker B: Right.
• 26:17
  Speaker A: Did he give us advice on that?
• 26:19
  Speaker B: He said, don't hurt people. Try your best to not hurt people.
• 26:21
  Speaker A: It's true. It's very true. The kilt lives on.
• 26:23
  Speaker B: It's the guilt lives on. At 90 years old, what actually matters? He said, waking up and being alive, just like, getting up and putting on a face. And he said that his biggest fear is to be a burden to other people, especially later in life. Like, he just. He said, put a fucking bullet in my head if I have to be a burden to your grandma. Like, he just. He doesn't want to just lie there and be a soulless person. Yeah.
• 26:53
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 26:53
  Speaker B: And I feel that. But it's hard because, like, you get old, and that's what happens.
• 26:58
  Speaker A: Everyone wants to take care of you. Right.
• 26:59
  Speaker B: Everyone wants to take care of you. But it's tough. He said that the fastest time in his life was definitely now getting older. Yeah. Like he says, time is just flying by.
• 27:15
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 27:17
  Speaker B: And it's. It's. It's. It's crazy how fast time actually goes.
• 27:23
  Speaker A: They're 90 years old.
• 27:24
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:24
  Speaker A: 90 years is crazy.
• 27:26
  Speaker B: I can't even, like, fathom being 90.
• 27:29
  Speaker A: No, I cannot fathom being 90. Take my breath away at 88.
• 27:33
  Speaker B: Yeah. What did you worry about? That didn't matter now. He said.
• 27:37
  Speaker A: What did you worry about? Yeah, back then. That doesn't matter now.
• 27:41
  Speaker B: He's. Oh. He said he spent years worrying about his health because he lost his dad at 16 years old from a heart attack. He. His brother had a heart attack young, so he was always worried about having a heart attack. Always, always, always. And like now, looking back at his life, he didn't, knock on wood, have that heart attack, but, like, he. He spent a lot of time worrying about it, which is. And that was. That was the last question. Yeah.
• 28:08
  Speaker A: So your other.
• 28:09
  Speaker B: Oh, my other grandpa. Yes, Grandpa Shelley. So Grandpa Shelley is my dad's dad. And he is just like. He's.
• 28:17
  Speaker A: He's a Grandma Grace.
• 28:18
  Speaker B: He's a. You know, him and Grandma Grace, they should get together.
• 28:21
  Speaker A: Listen, my grandma's canoodled. She. After my grandfather, she had some boyfriends and, you know, she was occupied with that. And I love that for her.
• 28:30
  Speaker B: I mean, my grandpa Shelly, he's a widow because my. My grandma Barbara passed away a couple years ago. But he went. He. I mean, he took a couple years and then he went back out there. He was a bachelor of all bachelors. He has three girlfriends at a time. He's crazy. But I love that his answer to the first question of what is the most important thing that you've learned is there is always gonna be someone smarter than you, more handsome than you, richer than you. Just try not to be jealous. Just be happy.
• 28:59
  Speaker A: Jealousy is evil.
• 29:00
  Speaker B: Jealousy is evil. Be happy in your own skin.
• 29:04
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 29:04
  Speaker B: And I love that I'm feeling the emotion coming on at 90 years old, what actually matters? His answer was very straightforward. It was family, health, and friends. If you have family and you have health and you have your friends, that's all that matters.
• 29:21
  Speaker A: If this doesn't strike something inside of you, I don't know what will. Yeah. A grandparent telling you something is so real.
• 29:26
  Speaker B: I know when life felt the fastest for him was the older you get, the faster time goes. So I think that's like a trend of. I feel like time is going by so fast right now.
• 29:38
  Speaker A: I stop worrying and just enjoy point blank. And I say it all the time. And I'm gonna keep saying it.
• 29:43
  Speaker B: Yeah. And what did he worry about? That doesn't really matter now is he said he always worried about money. At 90, he said something that really stuck is you spend your life worrying about having enough and then you realize all you really need is the people around you, a roof over your head, and you really only need to eat one time a day.
• 30:02
  Speaker A: He said. I mean, that's hilarious. That's so funny. Yeah, that was a good answer.
• 30:08
  Speaker B: Yeah. So, I mean, 90 year old selves could write us a letter today. It might say something like this. What would it say? Stop rushing. Stop worrying about all the little things. Stop trying to be so perfect.
• 30:24
  Speaker A: That's why I'm so perfect. Stop worrying about what other people think.
• 30:27
  Speaker B: Laugh more. Smile more.
• 30:28
  Speaker A: Laugh more. Smile more.
• 30:29
  Speaker B: Forgive faster.
• 30:32
  Speaker A: Don't hurt anybody maliciously.
• 30:34
  Speaker B: No.
• 30:34
  Speaker A: Don't let anybody hurt you.
• 30:35
  Speaker B: No. Hold your people tight.
• 30:37
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 30:38
  Speaker B: Because the things that feel overwhelming right now, the mess, the chaos, everything just don't matter when you're 90 because.
• 30:47
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 30:48
  Speaker B: It's just noise. Like the moments that we have with our family, with our friends, that that's what matters.
• 30:54
  Speaker A: Yeah, I agree.
• 30:55
  Speaker B: And we heard it from our grandparents.
• 30:57
  Speaker A: Yeah. I have one more left though.
• 31:00
  Speaker B: Oh, your other grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't forget other grandma.
• 31:03
  Speaker A: Yeah. So I feel like both my grandparents are so different, so. And when they're in the same room, it's hilarious. Like my, it's like my grandma Grace sits there and like cracks the joke. And like my grandma Rocco, Rocco's like that cute little Italian lady, she's like, oh, Grace, like, you're so silly.
• 31:18
  Speaker B: Well, they have a long history though, right? Like, because they've been.
• 31:21
  Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, it's my mom's mom. Right. My dad's mom.
• 31:24
  Speaker B: Right.
• 31:25
  Speaker A: But we, they grew up in the same town, so it's so cute. My grandma Grace went over when she was not in the nursing home yet to like have lunch with her. It was so cute. And like my grandma appreciated that.
• 31:34
  Speaker B: That's so sweet.
• 31:35
  Speaker A: So this is my mom's mom. She's 91, which I can't believe she's in her 90s. Like, I just always feel like she's been in her 80s like forever.
• 31:42
  Speaker B: I know, I kind of always. I, I like now still think my grandparents are always like. No, I kind of think they're always like 70s.
• 31:48
  Speaker A: Yeah. Yes. Like late 70s, 80s.
• 31:50
  Speaker B: Yeah. It's. That's so crazy.
• 31:51
  Speaker A: Yeah. Because my, my grandfather. So my Grandma's husband passed 21, so he was 88.
• 31:59
  Speaker B: I think it's still a long life.
• 32:01
  Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it's long life, but I never met my dad's dad, so I always only had three grandparents.
• 32:07
  Speaker B: Right.
• 32:08
  Speaker A: Okay, so let's get into Grandma Rocco. This one might make me emotional. I'm gonna try not to cry, because you could cry. I know. So she was always the grandma that I feel like. I mean, she used to write my papers. She used to.
• 32:24
  Speaker B: That's a good grandma.
• 32:25
  Speaker A: Yeah. I used to give her my summer reading. She used to do my summer reading. Like, she used to sit with me and do my homework with me. Like she was that grandma. Like, she would do those things for me. And, like. Like I said, I feel like my grandparents were different. Like, one was the fun, take care of me, do the fun things. And, like, my other grandma was, like, consoling type of grandma. So anyway, she always did everything for me growing up. And it's sad to see that she fell a couple years back, and she fell once, and she fell twice, and she broke both her legs. And then when old people fall, that's a downfall. So she ended up not being well for the past couple years. She has dementia, which is sad to see because she was always so smart. And it's sad to see your brain go. And I can't imagine having that brain and it not being there. So how frustrating that could be.
• 33:17
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 33:18
  Speaker A: So now she's in a nursing home, which is hard for my entire family, because we're the type, like you always say, never put me in a nursing home. You're never gonna be mom in a nursing home. But, I mean, it was. Yeah, it was. It was. It's not. Well, so she ended up in there. And it's sad to see. And it's sad for her children to see. It's sad for her grandchildren. We don't get to see her as often. It's hard to bring our children there because Gio can't walk around nursing home. I mean, it's, like, not safe for him to be there. So, you know, I feel guilty in that sense, but I'm just rambling. So let me get into the question. So my mom sat with her. She goes every day or twice a day, three times a day, to go see my grandmother in the nursing home. And she asked these questions for me. So the first question was, sorry, what
• 33:57
  Speaker B: is the key to a happy life?
• 33:58
  Speaker A: What is the key to a happy life? So she said, children make life happy. She said that was her number one and to respect others, so don't ever take people for granted. And then the last thing she said was to love your mom and dad because they'll always be there for you, no matter what life brings. And I felt like that. That it also. These questions, like, that you ask your grandparents and that we asked our grandparents, it gives us a light of, like, who they are.
• 34:25
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 34:25
  Speaker A: Because not that we don't know who they are, but we always just, like, enjoy their presence because we love Grandma and Grandpa. We never got to really know them. I feel like, in their lifetime, like, how my mom knows my grandma.
• 34:34
  Speaker B: Right.
• 34:35
  Speaker A: So seeing children makes life happy. Respect others. Like, that's who she is. She always taught me every time I even walked in the room. You ever, like, hear your grandparents, like, they say something as soon as you walk in the room and you're like, all right, Graham. Yeah, but, like, that's who they are. Like, you know, so, you know, love your mom and dad. And that means. Means a lot for me to hear, because I feel like you forget, you know, to do that. What was the second question?
• 34:57
  Speaker B: What is the most most important thing that you've learned over this life?
• 35:00
  Speaker A: What was the most important thing that you always learned that you learned over this life? So always respect yourself, always forgive everyone, because everybody needs a second chance. Which really brought light to me because I feel it. Unless they fucked up four or five times, then to heck with them, she said. But only one. Yeah, second chance, she said. Everyone deserves a second chance. Which I appreciate that because she is a very forgiving person, you know, so it's true. Everyone deserves a second chance. And you should respect yourself always. And I feel like that's how I grew up. Like, always respect who you are, because people respect you in that way.
• 35:35
  Speaker B: Right.
• 35:37
  Speaker A: So I feel like this was the. What went by. Yeah, me too. What went by the fastest?
• 35:41
  Speaker B: Right. Well, at 90, what actually matters?
• 35:44
  Speaker A: That was the third question.
• 35:45
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 35:46
  Speaker A: Okay. So what matters at 91, she said, asking God to give her as much time and life as he can. She prays to him every day to be with her family as long as she can. So that's what matters, because family matters most and don't take it for granted. I feel like that was, like, the core part of this whole thing.
• 36:05
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 36:06
  Speaker A: She feels like now she's at a place where she prays to God to not end her life anytime soon because she wants to spend more time with her family, you know? So, I mean, she used to cook, and she used to do all the things. Imagine being in a nursing home and not being able to do that. She's talking to four walls. Like, it makes me sick. It actually makes me sick. The time that went by the fastest for her was when her children were born. So Same thing. I feel like that was a trend.
• 36:30
  Speaker B: It's a trend.
• 36:31
  Speaker A: Yeah. And then what did you worry about?
• 36:35
  Speaker B: That didn't matter.
• 36:36
  Speaker A: Now she said having a fancy life. When she was a little girl, she always wanted a fancy life. And she said now a simple life makes her happy in the end.
• 36:45
  Speaker B: So funny. All of our grandparents said like, appearance, weight, fancy life, money, none of that matters.
• 36:51
  Speaker A: It's so true. Oh my God. I believe you, grandma.
• 36:54
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 36:55
  Speaker A: I really do. And I want, like, I just. My nose is running because I'm about to cry.
• 37:00
  Speaker B: You can cry. Don't do that.
• 37:04
  Speaker A: I just feel like everyone always is worried about like having all the things and it's not about that. It's not about that. Yeah. I like nice things. I like to make myself feel good. I like to dress up because it makes me feel good. But I'm doing that because it makes me feel good, not because I want to impress the outsiders.
• 37:19
  Speaker B: Right.
• 37:20
  Speaker A: I love a simple life. I really do. I really love a simple life. It doesn't take much to make me happy.
• 37:25
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 37:25
  Speaker A: And I feel like, yes, whatever she said was correct. And I'm keeping these note cards with me forever.
• 37:31
  Speaker B: Forever and ever. And I mean, I simplified all my grandparents answers, but I have, I wrote down a lot of things that they said. And it is just. I'm gonna hold it near to my heart. And my. My grandma always says, I love you near or far in my heart, like I'll always be. And they're just very special people. And we are so lucky to have so lucky.
• 37:53
  Speaker A: Because there's people out there who don't have any. And I know that day's gonna come and I'm not gonna be able to pick up the phone call. So pick up the phone, call your grandparents, go see them. Cause they miss you. And it broke my heart when my mom was like, she wants to see you so bad. And I'm like, I know. I. I know. Why am I not getting in the car and going there? I don't know. I just, like life gets in the way and it's so hard sometimes and. But just know, like, the love is still there.
• 38:18
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 38:19
  Speaker A: Although you don't see or talk to them every day. And I just feel like I don't know why I'm not doing it every day. I mean, to be fair, like, we have lives too. And I'm not saying that in like a fresh way, but I just feel like I could take more time out of my weeks to appreciate my grandparents.
• 38:37
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 38:38
  Speaker A: You know?
• 38:38
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 38:39
  Speaker A: Because I do so Much So I'm gonna make an effort. I'm gonna make a bigger effort because that's what they deserve.
• 38:45
  Speaker B: I think that is really powerful. And we need to appreciate the time we have with them.
• 38:53
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 38:53
  Speaker B: Love more, judge less, and don't forget to laugh while we're here.
• 38:58
  Speaker A: Don't forget to laugh. And I feel like that is my biggest thing. I love walking into a room and making people laugh. Like, I'm not trying to be the center of attention. I just want to make people laugh and smile because it makes me feel good, and I hope it makes others feel good. That's what our grandparents did our whole lives.
• 39:14
  Speaker B: I know. You know what my grandpa said? He said pie. He said that even when he's alone, like, he's still laughing. Like he'll make a joke and he'll make himself laugh. And I said, I can relate to that so much.
• 39:26
  Speaker A: Because you do make yourself laugh.
• 39:27
  Speaker B: Let's be honest. I did not marry a very funny guy.
• 39:30
  Speaker A: Right. You didn't.
• 39:32
  Speaker B: So. Except he thinks that he's funny, which is.
• 39:34
  Speaker A: He does think he's funny, which is like the biggest ick of my entire life.
• 39:37
  Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. So, like, I have to make myself laugh for two of us. So, I mean, I think that I'm pretty funny. Or I just laugh at myself.
• 39:46
  Speaker A: You laugh at everything I love. I don't laugh at everything. I tried to make people laugh. That's my thing. But I feel like you laugh at everything, and I. I love that about it.
• 39:53
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I. If I could say my favorite thing in the whole entire world to do besides be with my kids. To laugh. Belly laugh. I mean, if. If you show me any video, it could be the. Not a funny video at all. But if that person.
• 40:06
  Speaker A: How funny you think?
• 40:07
  Speaker B: No, if the person in the video is hardcore, can't breathe. Belly laughing. That makes me laugh like that sound like that. The camp breathe. Like the hyena, the wheeze. Like, that is like you're. You're s. Silent laugh. Like, I appreciate a good laugh.
• 40:23
  Speaker A: Me too.
• 40:24
  Speaker B: So.
• 40:24
  Speaker A: So I feel like moral of the story. Like, I just feel like the takeaway. Like, appreciate your grandparents. Talk to your grandparents. Visit your grandparents. Love your grandparents because they're not here for much longer. And forgive. Like, I just feel like forgive, forget, and be happy.
• 40:39
  Speaker B: Yeah. And. And don't be so judgmental about everything.
• 40:42
  Speaker A: Like, I feel like, live a simple life. You don't need much.
• 40:44
  Speaker B: You don't need much.
• 40:45
  Speaker A: One meal a day.
• 40:47
  Speaker B: But I do need a Bob job. Boo Boob.
• 40:49
  Speaker A: Job, but she needs a boob job
• 40:51
  Speaker B: and a new I.
• 40:53
  Speaker A: And then a lot of other things. And a lot of things. We want to make a million dollars so we can have a beautiful house and grow our families together, which would essentially just make us happy.
• 41:00
  Speaker B: Right.
• 41:01
  Speaker A: And don't be afraid to want things that other people don't want that make you happy. Like, that's okay, too.
• 41:06
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 41:07
  Speaker A: There's so many things.
• 41:07
  Speaker B: Yeah. And like, don't. I think I. I think my grandparents did say this also. Like, it is so hard to compare yourself to other people. I mean, throughout their whole answers, really. Like, just try not to compare. Like, I'd never compare. It's so hard.
• 41:23
  Speaker A: Live in your own bubble if you have to.
• 41:25
  Speaker B: Yeah, I'm in your bubble.
• 41:26
  Speaker A: You are. You should be happy within.
• 41:28
  Speaker B: Yeah. Happy with him.
• 41:30
  Speaker A: And find forgiveness. Don't hurt people. Laugh more and love more.
• 41:34
  Speaker B: I want to end on this. My grandma said forgiveness is for your peace. She said, if I were to carry a resentment or negative attitude, it does not affect anyone but myself. Yeah. Comes an inner cloud that puts a shadow on your own joy.
• 41:49
  Speaker A: And it shows.
• 41:50
  Speaker B: Yeah. So forgiveness is everything.
• 41:52
  Speaker A: I forgive anybody who ever hurt me. Love you. Bye.