Latest / Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One, / Who Am I After Heartbreak? Reaffirming Identity After Christian Relationship Disappointment

Transcript

Who Am I After Heartbreak? Reaffirming Identity After Christian Relationship Disappointment · Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One,

• 0:00
  So you might find yourself feeling as if a piece of you is missing, right?
• 0:08
  When the relationship ended or didn't even materialize, you might have felt
• 0:16
  as if maybe there's a part of you that changed.
• 0:21
  Are you probably struggling with questions like, what do I do with my life now?
• 0:28
  How do I move on with life? Or do I have a reason to go on?
• 0:34
  Who am I now outside of this relationship and the future plans that I had?
• 0:41
  So if any of these questions resonate with you, this episode is surely for you.
• 0:48
  As we will discuss how heartbreak can impact your view of yourself.
• 0:55
  And we will also talk a bit about how your identity in Christ doesn't change.
• 1:09
  Have you ever believed God showed you your future spouse only for the relationship
• 1:15
  to end or never even begin?
• 1:18
  You are not alone. Welcome to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment,
• 1:23
  a space for honest conversations about Christian dating, heartbreak, and healing.
• 1:30
  If you've ever said, I thought God told me they were the one.
• 1:34
  This podcast is for you. Here, we process the pain, rebuild the trust in God, and rediscover hope.
• 1:43
  One honest conversation at a time.
• 1:51
  Welcome back to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment.
• 1:55
  My name is Lori, your host, and I am glad that you tuned in to listen to today's episode.
• 2:03
  Now, going through heartbreak can be devastating and even traumatic,
• 2:10
  meaning it could leave you dealing with an emotional scar or some form of emotional trauma.
• 2:19
  It could leave you with many, many questions, even questions probably surrounding
• 2:27
  your identity, maybe questions surrounding your worth, right?
• 2:34
  But I am here to let you know today that the relationship may have changed or impacted your life,
• 2:44
  but it did not define your identity, nor did it define your worth, right?
• 2:53
  This distinction matters because sometimes we know intellectually that our identity is in Christ.
• 3:03
  But emotionally, we've attached our worth to being or feeling chosen by someone else.
• 3:13
  Yeah, so the truth is that sometimes we attach our identity to a specific situation or outcome.
• 3:23
  Right or even a relationship you know being loved being wanted being someone's
• 3:30
  future spouse and when that outcome,
• 3:35
  doesn't occur how we imagined or when that relationship,
• 3:41
  ends or in some cases didn't even materialize it can feel like something was
• 3:49
  taken away from us Right?
• 3:52
  It can feel as if a part of our identity has been taken away from us.
• 3:58
  And sometimes the thought underneath the heartbreak is, if they don't want me
• 4:04
  anymore, what does that say about me?
• 4:09
  Or maybe if I wasn't chosen by them, am I still valuable?
• 4:16
  If I'm not someone's future spouse, then what am I?
• 4:23
  But guess what? Someone's decision about a relationship or how a situation played out,
• 4:32
  cannot and will not rewrite what God says about your worth, right?
• 4:42
  It cannot rewrite what God says about your worth.
• 4:46
  It is not a declaration of your value.
• 4:51
  And I know that's easier to say than it is to see you.
• 4:56
  And that is why I'm doing this episode today.
• 5:01
  Right? Today's episode isn't simply just about telling you, oh,
• 5:07
  you should know your identity in Christ and then moving on. No.
• 5:12
  Instead, I just want to help you to reaffirm the identity that you already have
• 5:21
  in Christ, right? Because sometimes you know the right answer spiritually.
• 5:27
  You know intellectually what the Bible says about your identity.
• 5:34
  And sometimes we experience situations that might, it rock the boat of identity a bit.
• 5:42
  But regardless, we still have to ensure that we reaffirm the identity that Christ
• 5:49
  has given us, that we reaffirm each other,
• 5:53
  of that identity and that we continue to rebuild,
• 5:59
  the way we see ourselves based on the way Christ sees us.
• 6:07
  Now, sometimes when we face relationship disappointment,
• 6:15
  and we find ourselves, as I said before, there is a bit of a wind blowing maybe
• 6:19
  against your boat of identity. Just an analogy.
• 6:24
  Sometimes the truth is that we miss who we were when we were with that person,
• 6:34
  or when we were in that situation, right?
• 6:38
  Right maybe you felt beautiful maybe you felt secure maybe you felt chosen hopeful
• 6:48
  maybe you were excited about your future,
• 6:52
  maybe you liked the version of yourself that hoped for this and believed that
• 6:59
  this was finally happening,
• 7:02
  and when things didn't seem to work out as you hoped You were left devastated.
• 7:09
  But once again...
• 7:11
  Your identity in Christ never changed, never changes, and never will change.
• 7:23
  Right? And let me just ask you just a quick question.
• 7:28
  Who were you before this relationship? And I don't mean what was your relationship status.
• 7:35
  Like, who were you?
• 7:36
  What did you love? What made you laugh? What made you cry?
• 7:42
  What were some of your goals and dreams what did you care about what did you want to learn what,
• 7:48
  you know did you want to build what gifts did you have who are you when no one
• 7:55
  was calling you a girlfriend,
• 7:58
  a fiance a future wife the one or a prospect or whatever phrase who were you before that?
• 8:10
  Well, if you are a believer in Christ, who have accepted Jesus as your Lord
• 8:19
  and Savior, let me tell you who you were and still are.
• 8:23
  You were chosen by God, and you are still chosen by god you were a royal priesthood,
• 8:31
  and you still are a royal priesthood right.
• 8:37
  You were loved by god and you are still loved by god and there is a lot that
• 8:45
  god has to say about you and who you are in him.
• 8:51
  In Ephesians 2.10, it says, For we are God's masterpiece.
• 8:58
  Can you imagine that? A masterpiece? Now remember this, you know,
• 9:02
  God created the heavens and the earth, which is so beautiful.
• 9:08
  Like when you look at the stars, the moons, you know, sometime I'm looking in
• 9:12
  the sky and it just looks like a painting.
• 9:15
  Have you ever been to a park and it just looks like a painting?
• 9:18
  Just so beautiful, right? God created the heaven and the earth.
• 9:24
  And here it says out of everything that God has created, you are his masterpiece.
• 9:31
  So yeah, Ephesians 2.10 says, For we are God's masterpiece.
• 9:37
  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
• 9:48
  And I think sometimes God, or all the time, God wants to remind us that there
• 9:56
  is more to you than what happened.
• 10:00
  There is more to you than what happened in that relationship,
• 10:04
  what you thought would have happened, what didn't happen, or even the outcome
• 10:09
  that you expected and hoped for.
• 10:12
  And let me tell you, Ephesians 2 definitely has a lot to say about our identity.
• 10:17
  As a matter of fact both Ephesians 1 and 2 have a lot to say,
• 10:25
  and I have a little task I would say for you to do so there is this this great
• 10:33
  movie that I watched it's called The Overcomer,
• 10:37
  and practically there's this teenage girl struggling to find her identity and
• 10:42
  her coach told her to go through Ephesians 1 and 2,
• 10:46
  and write down everything that it says about her identity or about God's thoughts towards her.
• 10:53
  Now, I was inspired by that movie and I decided to try it for myself.
• 10:59
  And I want you to try it for yourself as well. Read through Ephesians 1 and
• 11:06
  Ephesians 2 and see what it has to say about you.
• 11:11
  For me, it was amazing when I realized that so many things about my identity
• 11:17
  was talked in those two chapters. Like, you know, it said I belong to Christ.
• 11:23
  I am like a house God is building for himself.
• 11:27
  Before God created the world, God chose me to be his own.
• 11:31
  God gave me a new life in Christ Jesus. And just so, so many more amazing nuggets.
• 11:39
  So I just want you to.
• 11:42
  To consider, you know, doing this little task.
• 11:46
  I don't want to say task, because task sounds like homework,
• 11:50
  but it is a task. But I would highly recommend, you know, you just take in some
• 11:55
  time out of your week and read if you just want to do.
• 12:01
  Or if you can't, you know, if you don't have the time to read,
• 12:04
  you could listen, maybe listen to it while driving, while cooking, or,
• 12:09
  you know, whatever the case is, and just make some notes about what it says about your identity.
• 12:19
  Because remember, your identity doesn't change because a relationship outcome did.
• 12:28
  Your identity remains the same in Christ regardless.
• 12:34
  And yes, we go through life, trials and storms. And there are so many things.
• 12:42
  That might seem to be just hitting against our boat, right?
• 12:47
  Sometimes it feels like every day something is hitting against our boat.
• 12:52
  But I want you to know that Christ is in that boat with you. He remains. He's there.
• 12:58
  And despite the outcome of other situations and experiences,
• 13:03
  your identity doesn't change.
• 13:07
  Your identity in Him doesn't change. So if you are wondering,
• 13:13
  okay, this has happened. Who am I now? What am I supposed to do?
• 13:17
  Those are valid questions.
• 13:19
  Those are entirely valid questions. And it's just a part of you processing everything before God.
• 13:27
  But as you ask yourself those questions don't ever believe the lie that because
• 13:34
  the outcome changed that who you are in Christ,
• 13:40
  so happened to change too because that is definitely not the case your identity who God says you are.
• 13:51
  Is who you are and that's final because his word is true and final so yeah as as we wrap up,
• 13:59
  i want to share with you your truth for the journey for this week and i want
• 14:06
  you to really let it sink in the end of a relationship,
• 14:12
  did not mean the end of me and a relationship status might change but my identity
• 14:21
  status is the same period.
• 14:26
  So thank you so much for joining today's episode of kingdom spouse disappointment,
• 14:34
  you know i'm happy that you joined if this episode blessed you please leave a comment,
• 14:40
  share like subscribe right share it with someone else that you think this episode,
• 14:48
  you know, will impact positively.
• 14:52
  And just remember, you are chosen.
• 14:57
  You are chosen by the God of the universe.
• 15:01
  In Him is your identity. So be blessed. Have a good week.